A Brazilian Soccer Player Was Arrested On The Field For Kidnapping And Extorting A 67 Year Old Woman

Atenção. Jogador do Sapucaiense Marlon Natanael é preso durante partida da 2a divisão do Gauchão. Suspeito de sequestro e assalto. @RdGaucha pic.twitter.com/rNj3YkkZMb

— Eduardo Matos (@_eduardomatos) May 3, 2017

TheComeback-You would think someone wanted on four arrest warrants would keep a low profile. But Brazilian soccer player Marlon Nataneal de Lima Alexandre decided to keep on playing for Sapucaiense in the Campeonato Gaúcho Second Division.

During a match on Wednesday, police showed up while Lima was sitting on the reserve bench, promptly cuffing him and taking him into custody.

According to Gaúcha, a local news outlet, Lima allegedly participated in a violent kidnapping of a 67-year-old woman in October. The perpetrators held her at gunpoint outside a mall and then spent about $1,400 on her credit cards.

​Police had trouble tracking down Lima until they learned he played for Sapucaiense. Club president José Luis Rech Cristianetti said he was unaware of Lima’s past and called the arrest “a sad surprise,” according to Gaúcha.

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You know what, I'm glad this guy got cuffed on the field in front of everyone. Obviously he deserved it after racking up his 4th different arrest warrant by kidnapping a grandmother, but that's not even the point. The point is that a regular, behind-the-scenes jailing wouldn't have been nearly shameful enough for someone that couldn't even properly extort a 67 year old woman for $1,400.

They should have pulled his pants down at mid-field and let Ms. Daisy walk out with her wooden spoon to give him one whack on the bum for each dollar stolen. Marlon Nataneal de Lima Alexandre (say that 5 times fast) deserved all that embarrassment and then some. The only thing more pathetic than kidnapping a senior citizen - for what has to be considered chump change relative to the crime - is not even having the decency to do it well. Do you know how much intimidation you have to lack for an old lady to walk straight down to la estacion de policia after having a semi-professional backup soccer player hold a gun to her head? All of it. All the intimidation.

These idiots tried to pick the low hanging fruit and still bit of more than they could chew. How are you going to threaten the life of someone whose a few years away from needing help crossing the street and still not be able to keep her goddamn mouth shut? Not only is that a ringing endorsement of how fearless women are while shopping is at stake, but it's an indictment of the scare tactics of the saddest kidnappers of all time who still got busted after having the gall to push aside a women's AARP card to empty her bank account.