Big Story- Central California thieves have made off with nearly $50,000 in prized bull semen.
The San Francisco Chronicle reported Tuesday that 3,500 units of high-grade semen were snatched from the back of a farmer's pickup truck in Turlock, California.
Most cows are artificially inseminated and there's a robust and valuable market for bull semen. The victim says genetically superior bulls produced the semen.
Police believe the thieves didn't know what they were stealing because they also siphoned gas from the farmer's pickup.
The semen was stored in special tanks full of liquid nitrogen, which can leave the thieves with frostbite or cryogenic burns if handled improperly.
Hey, how about keeping an eye on your prized bull semen? Bet if you asked these bull's how they felt about their future children being transported on the back of an open bedded truck they would be PISSED. Hell, there are broke assholes cuming in plastic dixie cups for $100 a pop and they have their own cryogenically sealed banks. Meanwhile, the unborn babies of the most physically gifted bulls in California are so poorly protected that idiots who suck gasoline out of pickup trucks are stealing them by accident. If that's how you treat prized bull semen then how do you treat second rate bull semen? $50,000 right town the tubes. Talk about a wasted money shot. I don't know who did this, but I would think that every matador within a 100 mile radius would have to be a suspect. They don't seem like the brightest bunch. Someone needs to call that dorky white chick form 'Criminal Minds' and have her run a scan of the local hospitals for matadors with burnt hands. That will surely narrow the pool of those potentially responsible for this.
I almost feel bad for the culprits. They finally steal something valuable and they have no discernible use for it. Imagine if they actually break into it? Would certainly give new meaning to the term "sticky fingers". Just a bunch of petty thieves walking around with badly burnt cum hands covered in unborn super bulls. Just a worst case scenario for all parties involved. That's why you got to treat that bull splooge like liquid gold. God, this would never happen with horses. All that hard work for nothing...