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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

A News Network Filmed A Video Of Select Islanders' Fans Criticizing John Tavares, Complete With All The Second Hand Embarrassment You Can Possibly Handle

2/26/2019

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The TV version of our #Isles fans #DearJohn letter will debut at 11:45am on @News12LI. There will also be a 3 minute extended version on https://t.co/tkPpEdoT6Y later today. pic.twitter.com/6CuBcHZC3K

— Kevin Maher (@KMaherNews12) February 26, 2019

Alright, make it stop. No seriously, make it stop. I said, MAKE...IT...STOP!

Honestly, fifty seconds was more than my fair share of second hand embarrassment for the calendar year, so someone needs to shut down the shameless search for attention that is the 3-minute extended version to save me from deafening myself with internal screams. 

​I obviously understand that this video doesn't even come close to representing the collective opinion of actual Islanders' fans. For, if it did, then I'd remind them that the "woe is me" act doesn't quite play when it basically translates as "woe is the franchise that waited nine full seasons before finally getting their shit together when their homegrown superstar already had one foot out the door". Again, it goes without saying that this is the most preposterously pathetic portrayal of a loud and proud fanbase. However, just so we are clear, this season has provided the perfect cure for whatever separation anxiety might have existed before it started, so to still be sick over John Tavares' departure is to be sick in the head.  

That doesn't mean Long Island's finest shouldn't boo the socially awkward misfit that is 'Pajama Boy' to the highest of heavens when he takes the opposing end of all-too-familiar ice on Thursday. It does, however, mean you need both a massive mirror and therapy if, for even a single second, you found yourself nodding along with a collection of pawns that were scripted to look like absolute imbeciles by a news network that was actively exploiting the type of sports' agony that breeds illogical opinions.

Rooting for the first place team in the Metro Division should have more than expedited the mourning process, so News 12 should be just as ashamed of themselves as those they  bamboozled into publicly embarrassing the organization they regionally cover. 
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