“Now, I’ll be 100 percent honest with you. These guys out here are absolutely the best athletes on Earth. I don’t care about the NBA Finals, I don’t care about football. These guys are professional athletes in everything.
“Thank God that I got this win. Thank you Lord for the glory in that. Me, personally, I’m just out here having fun. I had pneumonia a couple weeks ago, I wasn’t supposed to be here. I’ve had people praying for me. This is for everybody in Pine Hills, Florida. My coach was a dentist. Nobody believed I was supposed to make it. My swing is ugly. I got a hitch like Charles Barkley. My coach is a dentist. I wasn’t supposed to make it, but by the grace of God, I am here and I’m gonna keep going. I’m gonna keep going for the people who have no voice. That’s why I’m here.”
Talk about playing to an audience. I mean - despite the claim of 100% honesty - I have very little doubt that Maurice Allen didn't believe a damn word he just said about athletes that are physically more gifted in everything other than hitting a small ball a long way, but you know who kinda, sorta did? The heavily tanned, mildly overweight white dudes that served as his welcoming congregation. There is at least a handful of them that fell for that wrestling promo and believe they are 100 or so yards on their drive away from claiming the title of 'Best Athlete On The Planet' away from LeBron James.
Hell, why wouldn't they? Even the African American guy on the course said it was true! If Maurice Allen's black ass doesn't care about the freakish specimens (that could jump clear over every long driver in the competition) participating in the NBA Finals then why should the guys that only go to the gym to scope out trainers and air dry their testicles? He just became their source when they start this very same stupid argument with others by saying "well, my one black friend thinks...", and that's all they really needed to legitimize their decision to hit the country club multiple times per week.