A Rangers' Pitcher Broke His Non-Throwing Elbow After a Reported Run-In With A Bull

Martin Perez suffered broken radial head in non-pitching elbow in incident with a bull. Had surgery last week. Prolly out until May 1.

— Evan Grant (@Evan_P_Grant) December 19, 2017

Perhaps the concept of lightening the delivery of injury-related news by blaming something so innocent and obscure that even the most impassioned fan would be forced to laugh at it was lost in translation? That's the only explanation I can think of, because - outside of Martin Perez sleepwalking into a bullfighting arena while wearing red pajamas - there's nothing guilt-free about breaking your elbow in a confrontation with cattle.

Admittedly, it's hilarious to see the phrase "incident with a bull" written out as if bulls are commonly participants in your average, every day incident, but it's more so in a "wow, what a moron" kinda way as opposed to a "haha, what a freak accident!" kinda way. Like, if I had to guess, the Rangers pitcher who makes $6 million a year off the use of his left arm luckily had the right one stomped on after inevitably being thrown from a top the back of irritable livestock. I have no proof that was the case, but the plot holes in an explanation that's only slightly less incriminating than a "playing in traffic while blindfolded incident" aren't exactly a fit for the type of benefit of the doubt you'd hope to give a professional athlete who hurt himself doing something undeniably stupid. I am not exactly a PR professional, but the negligence out only works when you verbally commit to a story in which you're not complicit in diving elbow-first into living, breathing, charging, or bucking danger.