According To Kevin Shattenkirk, The Capitals Were Just Too Damn Horny During Game 3

“Initially, when they’re chipping pucks in, we have to do a better job of being patient. There are times when they are beating us to the puck, so we just have to let the one-on-ones happen. We’re kinda getting a little too, uh, horny, getting in there and exposing it. They are able to keep those pucks alive, and once we’re losing one, two guys into battles, that’s when they have that time and space to make plays happen. If we just come back to the net front, stop, let the one-on-one happen, we’re going to be fine.” - Kevin Shattenkirk

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Is it just me, or does referring to this as a simple "slip of the tongue" seem disingenuous? Not only would that be a super suggestive way to talk about some unintentional innuendo, but - if the long pause prior was any indication - then the word Kevin Shattenkirk spent a couple seconds looking for and the word he eventually found may have been one and the same. I suppose "horny" isn't commonly used as hockey jargon, but I honestly think it's pretty spot-on in describing what's ailing his team.

We can - and should - laugh, because...well...sex stuff...HA! Still, the Capitals have been patiently waiting all season to blow their load when it mattered. It makes total sense that they would be overanxious when the opportunity came. As far as I am concerned, Ovechkin and the boys have basically been carrying a loaded gun with a trigger as quick as a 40 year old virgin's since this series started. This postseason is their moment. It's the one that's alluded them for years. It's the one that they went above and beyond to prepare for. When Washington traded for Kevin Shattenkirk they basically snatched up a Viagra in hopes of partaking in a marathon-esque run that ended in ecstasy. However, they navigated the third period of Game 3 like a group of guys that became so overwhelmed by the moment that they couldn't act natural when their proverbial postseason boners popped up in public. 

High-strung. Impatient. Nervous. Jittery. Restless. Shatty could have chosen any of those terms and they would have applied to the Capitals' late game performance in varying degrees, but the one thing they all have in common is that they are characteristic of someone who is just too fucking horny. Far better men have fallen victim to making bad, snap decisions when gripping their sticks too tightly. If the Capitals want to finally shed the label of being choke artists then they'll have to start playing as if they just choked the chicken. They need to act like they've been there before instead of prematurely exposing (Kevin's word, not mine) themselves like they have been waiting for this moment for their entire lives. In essence, they have to stop putting the playoffs on a pedestal...