Against All Odds, Nazem Kadri Managed To Become The Most Hated Player In A Series That Features Brad Marchand
You couldn't possibly ask for an easier job. I'm not going to pretend I was in the unfriendly confines of TD Bank Garden and know exactly what role Mike Babcock laid out for his second line, two-way center that's as talented as he is enigmatic, but I can't imagine that he was asked to go out there and immediately become the most bathroom-clearing asshole in the entire building. The one thing that was working in Toronto's favor was that the person most likely to draw the ire of the officials, as well as force the hand of the Department of Player Safety, played for their opponent. While that will temporarily remain true as Nazem Kadri stands a better chance of having Donald Trump personally grant him American citizenship than he does of playing in Game 2 (or, if the NHL's balls have dropped, 3 and 4), the long term prognosis is that this rat-nosed piece of trash is merely the runner-up for the superlative of Most Likely To Come Upon His Reckoning...
And it's not just one of the most unsightly instances of attempted ass-to-mouth that these eyes have ever seen that makes me say so. If the following clips are any indication, Nazem Kadri basically made it his mission to be the first player suspended from a series that featured your favorite dickhead's favorite dickhead and that's something that Tom Cruise would have found impossible prior to last night...
Like, talk about not even leaving a shadow of a doubt in rendering both his "but..." and his butt deserving of a spanking. A player that could have easily goated the GOAT of doing indiscipline dumb shit into a disciplinary hearing instead decided to steal his crown as King Scumbag. Just straight up took whatever sympathy card the Maple Leafs might have had in their back pocket and ripped it into a million indecipherable pieces by chin-checking a defenseless player with his hip.
Honestly, I might need to guzzle TUMS like they are Skittles to get through the remainder of a series in which Brad Marchand is (temporarily, anyway) playing on the moral high ground, and - for the endurance of that internal discomfort - I have Nazem Kadri to "thank".