An Arizona Fan Is Facing Up To 12 Years In Prison For Impersonating An Employee Of A Bar In Wisconsin To Alter Their Cable Package So He Could Watch The Game While In Town

WiscNews- The finance manager of an Illinois car dealership has been accused of pretending to be a Lake Delton restaurant employee in phone calls with a cable company.

His aim, police say, was to change the restaurant’s cable package so he could watch a basketball game when he visited the area for the weekend.

Sauk County prosecutors have charged 51-year-old Kevin M. Cayton of Arlington Heights, Illinois, with felony identity theft for financial gain and unauthorized use of an entity’s identifying information. Each charge carries a maximum six-year prison sentence.

Lake Delton police began investigating in February after the business manager at Buffalo Phil’s noticed a significant increase in the restaurant’s cable bill and contacted authorities, according to the criminal complaint.

The officer eventually obtained 11 phone calls that were recorded by the cable provider, Charter Spectrum, in December.

In the calls, a man who identified himself as Pat Barkley asked to add the Pac-12 channel to the restaurant’s cable package. He mentioned wanting to watch an Arizona Wildcats basketball game later that week.

In one of the recordings, the caller allegedly stepped away from the phone and spoke with someone else in the background, saying “Hey it’s Kevin.” In another call, police say, someone can be overheard purchasing a vehicle in the background and explaining that they work a second job at a health care facility in Illinois.

Through social media, the officer learned that Cayton was a finance manager at the dealership, and the only employee named “Kevin.” The officer also contacted Lake Delton hotels, and found that Cayton had checked in at one of them in late December.

Social media posts also helped establish Cayton’s visit to Lake Delton in late December, police say, and that he is an Arizona Wildcats fan.


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Shame. Shame, shame, shame, and I direct it not at the Wildcats' fan who - while definitely a criminal -  had the fidelity, foresight, and follow through to do whatever it took to watch his team play while out of town. Rather, I shake my head slowly at the sports bar for bringing felony charges against the type of psychotically devoted patron that keeps the sufficiently simple business model of booze+buffalo wings+college basketball timelessly profitable. 

Look, I get it. Stealing someone's identity for any reason whatsoever is a pretty big no-no, but if we can't believe that our barkeeps will judge the intent of our actions ahead of their consequences then who can we trust to appreciate our lack of rational thought in regards to sports?! It takes a certain breed of fan to find the idea of watching a game other than the one he/she is emotionally invested to be so unsettling that they do the single most aggravating thing imaginable by contacting the idiots at the cable company ad nauseam. I'd be willing to bet it's the same breed whose ass leaves an imprint when last call has them cashing out a sizable bill before stumbling from their barstool at Buffalo Phil's. Therefore, it would have been nice if the victims just tipped their cowboy hats to the type of outlaw who keeps those saloon doors-a-swingin' well into the night, as opposed to potentially putting him behind bars for monetary damages that were merely fitting of a misdemeanor. 

Now, if I had to offer a word of advice to Kevin Cayton I might suggest exploring avenues other than identity fraud en route to watching an out-of-market college basketball game at your nearest convenience. Still, I think we can all admit he made an otherwise praiseworthy amount of head way in making sure that all he'd have to worry about is the head on his draft beer going away once we sauntered in seconds before tip-off. If nothing else, he took the phrase "I just want to watch the damn game" to a whole new level, even if it was one that was quite obviously punishable by law.