An Australian Man Got Bitten On The Junk By A Venomous Spider...For The SECOND Time

NYPost- A 21-year-old Australian man has been bitten by a venomous spider on his penis – for the second time in five months, according to a report.

“I’m the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment,” the man who only identified himself as Jordan told the BBC.

Jordan, a tradesman, was using a portable toilet at a work-site building in Sydney Tuesday when the redback spider bit him on “pretty much the same spot” he was bitten the first time in the same location while going to the bathroom.

“I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time,” he told the BBC.

​“I was like, ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”


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​It appears that Jordan and myself have two drastically different definitions of "bad luck". You see, getting bit by a spider after letting your junk dangle in a public toilet is bad luck. Getting bit by a spider AGAIN while letting your junk dangle in that SAME public toilet is a failure to learn from your mistakes. As the old saying goes...fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice and I deserve month long penis pain. I'll even give this guy a pass for going cheeks-to-seat in a Port-A-John, but I won't give him a pass for doing it twice after the first time ended so poorly. Christ Almighty, I simply read a story like this and it has me hovering for a week. If I actually experienced an attack from beneath while at my most vulnerable? My ass would never again touch porcelain, never mind the spider infested rim of a portable shitter. This guy must have a genuine disdain for his dick because he basically offered it up to the arachnids. If he had any respect for his genitals that crapper would have been up in flames after the first time it almost cost him his manhood. 

Seriously, takes a lot of gall for this guy to claim he's unlucky. Can't even imagine the amount of times he touched a hot stove as a kid. Probably gets pulled over for speeding in the same school zone the last week of every single month. Obviously I continually burn the roof of my mouth fresh slices of pizza, but there's a big difference between risking a layer of skin for piping hot deliciousness and risking your penal health to take a dump in a feces ridden hot box.