NJ.com- "We hope Rutgers steps out there to give him a second chance because I think it will suck if he gets that second chance (in the NFL) — and I think he's going to do a great job with it — and then Rutgers comes back," said Patriots safety Devin McCourty, who was teammates with Rice for three years at Rutgers. "Knowing Ray, he'll probably still be with it, but I think it would be great (if Rutgers acts first).

​

Look around the Rutgers locker room. Take a gander at their facilities. Sit through one meeting. Listen to one postgame speech. If the the word ‘family’ isn’t omnipresent to you then you need your eyes, ears, and pulse checked. If there is one thing that is a guaranteed on the Piscataway gridiron every year, it is that the players play for each other and they stand up for each other. Doesn’t matter if they are getting shellacked by Houston at home, or posting 8 wins in their first season in the Big Ten. As corny as it comes off sometimes, the Rutgers football team is as close to a family as a group can get without sharing the same DNA. Call it a moniker. Call it a motto. Call it a convenient acronym. Whatever you want to call it, it is a philosophy that Rutgers players live by, for better or worse.

The funny thing about family is you can’t change who they are. Hell, everyone has a relative or two that they wished were conceived through another bloodline. Unfortunately that’s not how it works. When someone is in dire need of support it should be their family that is there for them. Their family that is able to lift them up out of the dark place they are in.  No one needs support right now more than Ray Rice. Does he deserve support? No. Is it permissible, under any circumstances, to do what he did? Absolutely not. However, this is America. The land of the second chance. Ray Rice doesn’t have a prolonged history of beating women. In fact, up until about 9 months ago, he was considered a pretty good dude. The guy has been through more hardships in his life than any of us could every imagine. That doesn’t excuse him from anything. It doesn’t mean he gets a pass. One instance can change everyones’ perception of you. That night, that video and that punch are things that Ray is going to have to live with forever. However, unless Kyle Flood’s emphasis on the term ‘family’ is merely lip service, it’s not something he has to get past alone. 

It was understandable for Rutgers to disassociate with Ray Rice when the video first came out. As is Rutgers luck, the Ray Rice hysteria was taking place during a crucial time for the program. Not only around the same time as their entrance into the Big Ten, but right around the same week as their first Big Ten home game. It would have been a public relations disaster to have cameras crews scanning the building at High Point Solutions Stadium and finding life size tributes to a guy that the world just watched knock his wife into oblivion. 

Tiquan Underwood's take is , “I think they should put his pictures back and welcome him back with open arms.” While I think that Ray Rice should be accepted back into the Rutgers community, I wouldn’t go as far as saying they should put his pictures back up. You have to pay for your transgressions in life. Sometimes that means jail time, sometimes that means your alma mater doesn’t readily endorse your achievements. You don’t see families tying balloons to the mailbox and renting a bounce house when a convict gets out of prison. With that said, Ray Rice meant a lot to Rutgers University, and they wouldn’t be where they are now without him. Anyone with an 1/8th of a brain cell knows what he did was wrong, but that doesn’t mean he’s necessarily a bad person. Good people do terrible things all the time, and if they didn’t have a strong family foundation they would never have another opportunity to prove that a 10 second video doesn’t define them. I don’t think they should be giving out Ray Rice bobbleheads anytime soon, but he should be welcomed on campus. After all, it’s the place he called home. Home isn’t just where your heart is, it’s where your family is. It’s where you learn to be a man, and part of being a man is learning how to forgive. You got to stand for something in this world, and I think it’s time Rutgers practice what they preach. 

Fire&Ice - The Devils traded the 43-year-old right wing to the Florida Panthers today for a 2015 second-round pick and a conditional third round pick in 2016. The Devils will have the choice of either Florida's 2016 third-rounder or the third-round pick they received from Minnesota earlier this week in the deal for Sean Bergenheim.

Let me start by saying that over the last season and a half, Jaromir Jagr has been an absolute pleasure to watch. He has been one of the lone brights spots amongst otherwise dim expectations. At 42 years, while skating like he has a piano strapped to his back, he remains a miracle of modern science. Some nights you could still argue he is the most talented player on the ice. His, strength, vision, puck handling ability and overall passion for the game are too be marveled at. It's unfortunate that's days as a Devil are over. Not because he is necessarily a huge loss on the ice, but it was fun watching history happen right before our eyes on a nightly basis.

With that said, anyone that doesn't like this trade is a damn fool. As the Devils win total has increased, Jagr's playing time and subsequent production has also decreased. Whether those things are mutually exclusive or not is up for debate. However, over the last few seasons, including his time with Boston, Jaromir has shown he gets better with the more ice time he is given. Unfortunately, with the new coaching regime that hasn't fit into their plans. Jagr wants to play, and he wants to play a lot. I actually commend him for that. Since he began his tenure with the Devils, Jaromir has never been one to mince words. The "spare no feelings, say what it is" type. Absolutely a respectable trait. Be that as it may, the last thing a bipolar team like the Devils needs is a disgruntled 42 year old. He didn't say anything that was particular wrong, but you can't have players that are in the twilight of their career causing distractions. It's why Martin Brodeur wasn't retained after his year long battle with Cory Schneider for playing time, and it's why Jaromir Jagr was moved despite the Devils having an outside shot at a playoff spot.

The sick thing is, in Lou's mind, I don't necessarily thinks he is selling. It's just not in his DNA. While it may be a fool's errand to expect Michael Ryder or Martin Havlat to replace what Jaromir brought to the table, I don't think it's impossible for the Devils to continue their winning ways. They weren't some offensive juggernaut being running strictly through Jagr. This is a team that wins when they get timely goal scoring, steady defense and an otherworldly goaltending effort. Jagr's goal scoring, or lack thereof, has been anything but timely. Eight games without a point when the Devils need him the most. Hell, Jordin Tootoo, Steve Bernier, and Adam Larsson have been exponentially more imperative to the Devils success as of late. While the playoffs remain a pipe dream, it's not a dream that is necessarily shattered by trading away a player that was unhappy. 

What's more unprecedented than Jagr's abilities at 42 years young, is being able to trade away a 42 year old that is set to be a free agent for a 2nd AND 3rd round pick. That is an absolute steal. The only time that someone has received that much compensation for someone in their 40's was the beneficiary of a life insurance package. Regardless of the Devils making the playoffs or not, they are a team that is trying to get better in the future. Trading away 20+ games of senior citizenship for a 2nd round pick in an extremely deep draft a step in the right direction. Being to pick the better of Florida's two picks in the 3rd round of the 2016 draft is just icing on the cake. It was a calculated move that makes the team younger, and potentially gives them the ability to put some offensive talent in front of one of the best goaltenders the NHL has to offer. 

I appreciate what Jagr did for the Devils. I appreciate what he has done for hockey. I appreciate that he enjoyed being a member of this team. Unfortunately, a lot of that was based on the responsibilities he was given. It's no secret that he liked playing 1st line minutes. Why do you think Jagr LOVED Peter Debeor? Because he was the greatest coach he has ever had? Hell no. It was because he constantly gave him over 20 minutes of ice time a night. It's because he played a slow, grind it out style that Jagr could thrive in. Jagr wasn't clamoring for a trade at last years deadline, when the Devils were just as bad and he was playing all the time. Now they have enjoyed a relatively long period of success (comparatively speaking) and he wants out? I understand his commitment to playing the sport at a high level as long as possible, but its no coincidence he became a malcontent when he wasn't the focal point of the team, regardless of their recent success.

SI.com- "In 2014, I was just a kid who couched surfed and took classes online at a community college, but I had a dream to play college football," Nacita wrote. "Throughout that year, I was able to earn enough academic scholarships to pursue that dream, but it was only enough to pay for school without a place to stay or any other living expenses. Still, I was satisfied with that because I knew the sacrifice I was making in order to pursue that dream. However, a few months before enrolling, a close family friend approached me and said they didn't want me sleeping on floors and wondering how I was going to eat the next meal, so they insisted on putting me in an apartment and helping out with those living expenses. Because I accepted that offer instead of choosing to be homeless, I am no longer eligible to play football and pursue my dream. I had no idea I was breaking any rules, but I respect the decision of the NCAA." -Silas Nacita

You know what they say, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Never really understood that saying, but I am pretty sure it still applies here. We all have to make sacrifices Silas. For instance, today I sacrificed extra meat on my sub in order to not feel like a fat ass.  See, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. You want to live your dream and get a free education, you'll have to do so at the expense of having a pillow to rest your head upon. Makes perfect sense to me. If you are given everything, how are you supposed to learn that life is a son of a bitch? Plus, if there is one time in life where it is acceptable and feasible to survive sleeping on a different couch every night and living out of a garbage bag, it's your college years.

In all seriousness, this story is about as surprising as finding out Dez Bryant has a highly incriminating video in his past. The NCAA prides itself on being the worst run organization in sports. At least that's what it seems like. I find it hard to believe that actual rational human beings with a pulse make decisions for the NCAA. Think about how much backlash they had to receive for them to finally switch from the ridiculous computerized BCS to an actual panel of human beings and a playoff system. This ruling on a homeless college kid is the exact reason why Will Smith was so skeptical during 'iRobot'. You can't expect the soulless, emotionless machines at the NCAA to use logical reasoning in regards to breaking their rules. 

Look who we are talking about here. We're not talking about a kid who is a surefire NFL draft pick. He had 200 yards and 3 touchdowns last year. We're not talking about someone who is exploiting their popularity for financial gain. We are talking about a kid that wants a place to call home. It's not like some booster paid for it. Forget the fact that he is a student athlete. Since when can't a kid exhaust all legal options in regards to his living situation and putting food on his plate. I'm sure he wasn't living in some beautiful loft in Waco, Texas. This ruling is basically the NCAA saying that playing football and subsequently earning them money is more important than the well being of a student. Christ, even the NFL and NHL, two organizations notorious for their bad decisions, realize that sometimes there are extenuating circumstances. What does the NCAA stand to gain from this? There is no winner here, just one loser and his shattered dreams of playing college ball. Just another one of the countless cases of the NCAA flexing their muscles for no reason.

Call me naive, but shouldn't a scholarship, whether it be scholastic or athletic, cover room and board? What's the point of paying for someone's schooling if you can't afford to put a roof over their head? This kid should be commended for trying to make his situation work before someone with a heart stepped in and insisted on helping him out. It's almost impressive how immune the NCAA is to criticism. I almost, ALMOST admire it. Some kid is about to lose everything based on a stupid rule that doesn't even feel like it's being enforced right, and they aren't even giving it a second thought. The NCAA, the only business where you can work your ass off for someone and they can fire you for not being able to support yourself. 

When the Devils won 7 of 10, and I had heard faint whispers of a playoff run, I warned people to proceed with caution. No sense getting emotionally invested in a playoff run that could be halted by the slightest of two game losing streaks. Then the Devils reeled off 4 straight losses. A demoralizing, eye sore of a loss against the cellar dwelling Edmonton Oilers, as well two hard fought losses against Chicago and Nashville. Two games that the Devils were to even be in in the first place. Listening to those games on my phone I had to stop and make sure I wasn't just listening to a Cory Schnieder highlight reel. 

Well, the Devils are currently in the midst of something that has been unprecedented, uncharted territory for the last two calendar years. 730+ days, over 24 months, and finally, FINALLY the Devils have a 4 game winning streak. While that may seem petty to most franchises, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I'll be damned if this ain't the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Do I want to talk playoffs? Absolutely not. Is the faint possibility still there? Your damn right it is. Currently 8 points behind Boston, a team who is sinking quicker than the stock of Malaysian Airlines. Six points behind Florida, a team that is as familiar with winning as a blind person is with the color wheel. Four points behind the Flyers, a team who prides itself on disappointing it's loyal fan base. I'm still taking a very skeptical approach to this team, but to say the Devils are completely out of it is  simply erroneous.

I think the most glowing thing we could say about this new formed trifecta of a coaching staff is that as least we know what to expect. The Devils are going to battle every night. Each player on the team has a very distinct role, and as of recently, is filling it quite nicely. Who would have thought that Jordin Tootoo would be the perfect fit on a line with Travis Zajac and Mike Cammalleri? Who would thought Bernier would help Elias and Henrique find their scoring touch? It might be blind luck. After all, a broken clock is still right twice a day. However, the coaching staff's ability to see the uselessness of Martin Havlat and Michael Ryder has the Devils playing with the best possible lineup that they can offer. 

Timely goal scoring, steady defense, and a lights out goaltender. That's been the formula and the Devils have it down to a science. This recent span of success hasn't shown the Devils to be an overwhelming offensive team. Hell, on most nights they still get outshot and out chanced by a fairly wide margin. But the secondary scoring has been there, the defense has chipped in on offense, and Cory Schneider has all but refused to let this team lose. This team is getting the most out of a roster that is still sorely lacking in the talent department.  If i had shown these line combinations to even the most respected hockey analyst a month ago he would have had the Devils sweeping the basement floor. 

I respect the hell out the turnaround the Devils have engineered. Lou has always been a man that has the win at all costs attitude. Will that attitude cost him a puncher's chance at drafting McDavid or Eichel? Most likely. But it's the same attitude that has raised 3 Stanley Cup banners to the ceiling. It's the same attitude that took a 6th seeded Devils team to the finals in 2012. While the playoffs remain a pipe dream. It's encouraging to watch this team play solid hockey, and win some games along the way.

ProHockeyTalk- Johnny Gaudreau has turned heads with his skill during his rookie NHL season. He turned more heads Tuesday, when news broke he trademarked his well-known nickname ‘Johnny Hockey.’

The story took off, as you might expect, and it appears the attention of it has gotten to the 21-year-old Gaudreau, who has 13 goals and 32 points in 42 games with the Calgary Flames so far this season.

Gaudreau’s agent, Lewis Gross, told TSN they were concerned people were going to “abuse” the Johnny Hockey nickname.

By no means do I think that Johnny Gaudreau is the self indulgent, money sign flashin', attention whore that is Johnny Manziel. If his reaction to some All Star pyrotechnics is any tell, he is quite the opposite. Just based off his attitude, and his appreciation for his All Star appearance, I would say that Johnny Hockey is pretty bright eyed and bushy tailed. A kid trying to take it all in in his first full NHL season. That, however, doesn't mean he's stupid. Don't drink my beer and tell me you were making sure it was safe to drink. Don't shit on my lawn and tell me it's fertilizer. Don't fuck my girlfriend and tell me it was for my own good. People don't prioritize others when they make important decisions. This wasn't a sacrifice bunt to make sure that others don't profit off of him. It was a full on swing at the money ball. So while I appreciate the attempt to play the victim, I don't believe it for a second. You don't trademark something to keep a dollar out of someone else's pocket, you trademark something to put that very same dollar in your own pocket. Hey, anything for a buck. I fully endorse Gaudreau branding himself. That's the American dream. Anything that requires the least amount of work and the most amount of profit is something that every red blooded American should strive towards. 

The idea that Johnny Guadreau wanted to keep the trademarking of 'Johnny Hockey' "low-key" is either a straight up lie, or one of the most misguided, naive statements I have ever heard. You don't just trademark the sport you not only play, but are still less than a year into, as your last name and expect people not to talk about it. It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I would be pretty psyched if anyone thought I was good enough at anything that they fancied it a good idea to trademark it as part of my name. Unfortunately boozing, talking shit, and spewing nonsense on the internet don't lend themselves to that nearly as well as being a professional hockey player does. If anything, he should embrace his new found popularity. He already sacrificed his humble persona anyway. Maybe don't do blow in club bathrooms, or end up in rehab like his pigskin slinging counterpart, but have a little fun with it. It's not just anyone that can walk around say that they are legally Johnny Hockey. 

TSN- Eric Lindros has launched a $3 million defamation lawsuit against one-time NHL referee Paul Stewart and the Huffington Post, after Stewart wrote a column for the online news website that allegedly made the former Philadelphia Flyers star forward look like a "dickhead."

In documents filed in an Ontario court, Lindros says his reputation has been sullied after Stewart wrote about his poor on-ice relationship with Lindros, which was capped by an incident when Lindros allegedly tore up posters he was asked by Stewart to autograph for a charity.


First of all, YIKES. Eric Lindros redefining the word 'cheeky'. Maybe mix in a salad 88. I know there are a lot of gaps that are supposed to widen with time, but holy Christ, Lindros smile is eroding faster than Bill Cosby's reputation.

Wait, you can sue someone for saying mean things about you on the internet? Sorry guys, the blog is shut down for the foreseeable future. Not enough money in the world to pay off every slanderous thing I have typed over the last 6 months. However, while were here, and Lindros is busy trying to extort money from bigger internet fish, I may as well throw a couple shots in before the buzzer. 

Hey Eric, somehow I trust Paul's memory more than yours. Seeing as your career was cut short by about 16 bouts with head trauma and concussions. Is it possible that you just forgot that you actually were a dickhead? You may be a super nice guy now. I doubt it, but it's possible I suppose. However, back in the day you were a grade A asshole. What's the statute of limitations on calling someone a dickhead? Is Lindros that slow mentally that it took him 4 months to realize that this article was insulting him? Nothing worse than the guy that can't even realize he is the butt of the joke. I can picture Lindros reading this article in mid-October when it was published then waking up from a nap on a brisk winter night in Canada saying "hey, wait a minute...".

Let's think about this logically. What is more likely? That a 19 year old Eric Lindros, a kid who forced his way off a professional team in Quebec, got mad and was less than welcoming to a referee, or that the same referee completely made up the story some 20+ years later?  Hey, I don't blame him. Lindros had overbearing parents. Overbearing parents that were, without much debate, the very definition of  the word 'dickhead'. Just no way to escape inheriting some of their less than stellar personality traits.

Furthermore, is it defamation if it is true? If Eric Lindros really was a dick, isn't it just considered mean? Is being mean worthy of a $3 million dollar lawsuit these days? I know, as a society, we are starting to go pretty soft, but I think at most a couple hundred and a 'sorry' should appease his grievances. How easily Lindros forgets that he made his millions being a bully on the ice, and now he wants to get paid for being a victim of verbal bullying? From an ex-referee no less? If you could sue people for not being nice Eric Lindros would have lost every penny he made in the NHL for his on-ice jargon. I would say he has quite the selective memory, but that would be insinuating that he has any memory left at all. Why don't you sleep on it Eric? See if you still feel the same in the morning. That is if you don't get concussed by your head violently hitting the pillow. Jesus, who would have thought Lindros' skin would be thinner than his neural tissue?

This is very clearly a money grab, and a pretty crappy one at that. There is simply no way that the worst thing someone has done to Eric Lindros in the last decade is implied that he was a jerk. If a harsh criticism is worth a lifetime of financial security then I hope that no one ever reminds him that Scott Stevens damn near killed him. Not enough room on the page to fit all the zeros in that lawsuit. What a bad role model for the children of tomorrow. Next thing you know we are going to have first grade parents suing the family of the kid that called their child a "butt face". Grow up Eric. You got paid far too much to play a kid's game. You probably would have had a much more decorated career if you weren't such a dick and listened to your coach when he told you to keep your head up. If I were Paul Stewart I would march into that court room, say "lookie, how can such a dick be a pussy?", then I would turn and walk my white ass back across 8 mile. 

P.S. Or maybe it's just a classic case of PTSD. Never forget.

News.com- “For what you’re paying, your kids should be more stimulated,” says the teen. “At 7, I would tell my mum, ‘You need to get more bang for your buck.’ It would drive me insane!”

She initially found caregivers by networking with nannies in her circle, as well as recruiting at SoulCycle and on college-career websites. For every match, she charged clients $US100 to $US200 ($128-$256). Word of mouth soon spread.

With the help of her father — who works in private equity and filed the business when the minor couldn’t — Mintz has rapidly grown her business. She now charges a standard 15 per cent of a nanny’s initial gross salary, which ranges from $US50,000 to $US80,000. For babysitting services, clients are charged a flat fee of $US5 an hour.

According to the agency, it’s currently placing about 25 full-time nannies and 50 babysitters, who work an average of 15 hours per week — putting a conservative estimate on revenues at $US375,000 ($480,000), a figure Mintz won’t confirm. “Because we’re a privately held company,” she says, “we cannot disclose our financials.” (She says she doesn’t draw a salary “for now” — but won’t rule out one in the future.)

I don't like this girl, but I'll be damned if I don't respect her. Not for her brains. Not for ingenuity. Not even for her potential future self worth. I respect her because she realized at young age that the most important characteristic to have is self awareness. If you are going to make it in this world you got to have something to hang your hat on. If you aren't going to be good looking, popular, or funny, you sure as shit better be smart. Keep in mind when I say smart, it's a synonym for rich. You better be rich. That's a surefire way for someone that is void of any socially redeeming qualities whatsoever to be successful. This girl learned at a very young age that a halfway decent personality was about 50 yards out of her field goal range, and she should be applauded for it. 

Once Noa was old enough to form words she realized her parents glued her ass behind the 8 ball when they named her. Then she realized the freckles, baby fat, and braces weren't getting her to the cool table anytime soon. Using that free time, that most kids spend playing with friends, to make herself worth millions is a foresight most children her age lack. Hell, it's a foresight that most grown ass adults lack. Noa had to have known when she was 7 years old and complaining about her
babysitter's ability to stimulate that she was a special breed of outcast. The only time I wanted a babysitter to stimulate me was my last trip to the dark, dark world of internet pornography. 

First you had Kobe come out saying he has no friends, and now this girl? Doesn't this girl's story really make you think? Maybe friends are overrated? What if instead of running around with your hand on your dick, playing meaningless games with friends and experiencing childhood, you just devoted all that time to starting your own company, or developing a wicked crossover? You could have had all the monetary potential in the world to do whatever you wanted by the time you were a high school freshman. Really begs the question, why is this girl still in school? Worth millions and not a real friend throughout the entire school district. How is she supposed to listen to her teachers when she makes double what they all make combined? If I were this girl I would have named my company 'Friends Are For Poor People' yesterday. She's in the perfect situation. Loaded and some of her employees are her age and have to associate with her and be nice to her. Everyone knows female friendships aren't real friendships anyway. I have seen female friendships die quicker than a black guy in a horror movie. All they want is someone to tell them they look pretty and laugh at their jokes. No easier way to accomplish that than by throwing them a couple shekels for 'stimulating' some snot nosed brats.

P.S. While I respect her, she needs to get out of the classroom immediately. There isn't a single doubt in my mind she's the girl that reminds the teacher to give homework or asks 15 questions after the bell. That ultimate try-hard attitude is probably the reason she is rich, but it's also the reason she is lonely. Even the dan news anchor won't let his hands near her.

Washington Post- However, the thing Miles said that really should concern his players was a vow to banish them from their own locker room. That’s right, the Cornhuskers played so badly that Miles thinks they should start changing, like, in the hallway, or something. From Omaha.com...

“There will be chains on the doors locking it from the outside,’’ Miles said, “until further notice.’’ 

So where will the players dress?

“Good luck,’’ Miles said, glaring. “They’re creative.’’

I am all for a little tough love. Coaching isn't always about catering to your players. Sometimes you have to send a message. Maybe take away a luxury or two. Not completely sure banning your players from the locker room and making them get dressed in the hallway is the right answer though. Reel it in Coach Carter. Staging a lockout of the locker room isn't going to make your players better people, and it certainly isn't going to make them any better at basketball. This screams panic move. It's like when a mother gets mad and sends her kid to his room, or when a girlfriend/wife makes their significant other sleep on the couch. Sure, it's a punishment, but it's not going to accomplish anything. Waking up with a sore neck isn't going to make a husband better at being a husband, and prohibiting pregame billiards isn't going to make your players start hitting jump shots. This isn't a movie and you aren't Samuel L. Jackson. A bunch of college athletes aren't going to come to some collective realization because you took away their TV time. They will probably just resent you for making them miss the latest episode of 'Basketball Wives'.

Did you ever stop to think that maybe this isn't the player's fault at all? I have never met an amenity I haven't taken advantage of, and while I think updated facilities for college athletes is doing right by them, maybe you shouldn't prep them for a game in the middle of Club Med. Would you bring a bunch of children to 'Dave and Busters' and expect them to sit calmly through their meal with their napkin on their lap? Fuck and no. Want to know what sounds more relaxing than playing a Division 1 college basketball game? Sitting in a leather recliner catching up on the DVR with smoothie in hand. Players adapt to their surroundings like everyone else. Drop them in the middle of a man cave and they are going to be far more likely to want to crack a beer than battle for a rebound. 

I'm not sure what's the biggest issue with the Nebraska basketball team. From the looks of this punishment, their coach doesn't either. However, I can promise you that less bonding time in the locker room is far more detrimental than advantageous to the team. A locker room is where players become a team. It's where chemistry, on and off the court, is built. I don't care if they are in there drawing up x's and o's, or running train on a a couple co-eds. Either is more beneficial than them struggling to pull up their compression shorts in a confined area. Come on Tim. Is it possible it's not the locker room's fault and your players just stink?  Maybe close down smoothie happy hour, or cut the cable, but don't ban your shitty players from the place they feel most comfortable. 

P.S. Getting some bolt cutters, a 6 pack, and a nonstop flight to Lincoln. I could do damage in that locker room.

Okay, so let's try to make this post relatable. I think it is a fair assumption to say that most, if not all, people have watched a children's soccer game. Is there anything worse then sitting there and watching, what feels like 300 uninterested, uncoordinated children run around a field tripping all over each other? In the upset of the century, there actually is. Now imagine having that children's soccer game being played on ice in a cold building, adding thin steel blades to their feet, making the target much, much smaller. and taking $1,500 dollars out of your pocket for equipment. All for a sport they will probably quit after 6 months. I would legitimately rather watch a video of how I am going to die than an entire children's hockey game. 

Unfortunately, at some point in my life, I am going to be in a similar situation. It's goes without saying that my child is going to play in the NHL, and it's going to be very hard for him to do such if he doesn't first play peewee against a bunch of borderline handicapped children. I, undoubtedly will have to be in attendance, and if you think I am doing so without the help of Mr. Daniel's to coat my insides than you are beside your mind.  Television always makes it look like the drunks are the bad parents. My guess is that those script writers haven't spent much time watching elementary sporting events. I'm pretty sure the secret to raising your children right is some properly timed alcohol abuse. Watch three periods of kids helplessly drifting around the neutral zone and I guarantee you'll be fighting the urge to beat a child.

Am I saying that you should show up shitfaced and start dropping every derogatory term under the sun? No, probably not, but I respect this man for sticking to his guns. Every hockey fan has had one too many and let a few fuck's fly. As soon as your inappropriate in public once you might a well have some fun with it. If you are going to be an asshole, at least be a steadfast asshole. No one respects the guy that let's a curse slip and then immediately apologizes for it. From the first 'fuck' to the last 'motherfucker' this guy never wavered from his position of belligerence. Can't stop, won't stop. Sure, he'll go home later and regret making an ass of himself, but that's a problem for the future. The only problem he has currently is that his beer muscles might kill that guy. Unless of course he trips over the bleachers trying to get to him. 

Make no mistake, the bad guy here is the drunk schmuck yelling about God knows what while a couple of kids that don't know where babies come from fall all over themselves. However, the guy whining in the stands parallels him in obnoxiousness. You bring your kids to a hockey game and they might hear some shit you don't want them to hear. That's just the nature of the beast. From mites, to the pros, to men's beer league. The concept of free speech couldn't apply more once the puck drops. You want your kids to think the world is all sunshine and rainbows then get a sitter. This game isn't for the clean of mouth.

P.S. I got to imagine that the following is the only possible next step for this guy...

Yahoo Sports- "I didn't know he was going to dive tonight the way he did all over the f---ing ice. That part of it’s a little (more) embarrassing, pardon my language. He’s a great player. He’s going to score goals and make plays. That other stuff’s embarrassing. The slash on me. The slash on his hand. When we ran into him and he dove down. All those things. It's embarrassing to the game.” 
-Ryan Getzlaf

“No response. Maybe he’s just jealous. All that kind of stuff. I have hair, he don’t have hair. So we can start talking about that all day long. He was disappointed that they lost. It is what it is."
 -Alexander Ovechkin

There is just no possible way I can hate the move by Ovechkin here. Responding to serious allegations with a joke is what Ovi does. Hell, it's what almost all hockey players do, off the ice anyway. I can't hate on a bald joke just because I'm bald. A good joke is a good joke. I cracked a smile reading the quote, as did Getzlaf upon hearing about it. 

I would be careful if I were Ovechkin though. It's not smart to sling rocks from a glass house. Yeah, Ovi has a full head of hair. He is also turning 50 shades of grey and he is hasn't even hit the big 3-0 yet. What's more attractive to women,  male patterned baldness or having the hair color of a 60 year old? If you go with the Mr. Clean look, like Getzy is doing here, I would argue it is not even close. Bald is beautiful. 97% of women love bald men, read a fucking magazine for me one time. Almost a shame he has to wear a helmet. How many girls are coming up and rubbing your head Alexander? That's what I thought? Getzlaf could probably charge a quarter to rub his head and tack another zero onto his salary. He doesn't even have to say a word and females will touch him. Making contact is half the battle, everybody knows that. 

Meanwhile, you take away Ovechkin's hockey equipment and he very closely resembles a homeless person. If we are going off looks alone, I would say Getzlaf has the upper hand. He could be working on Wall Street and you wouldn't give him a second look. If Alexander Ovechkin walked into an office building in a suit he would be tackled by security on sight. If he didn't have hockey talent he would have a much harder time supporting his cocaine and alcohol addiction. It's all good when the toothless one is potting 50 goals a year. It's much less cute when his long lost twin is nipping at your heels begging for spare change. I totally understand why Ovechkin has the looks of a senior citizen sleeping in your local neighborhood dumpster. Dude has done more living in his 29 years on this planet than Evel Knievel. Somehow he has lived a riskier lifestyle than the homeless people he so closely mirrors, despite being a millionaire. I'm just saying, while I appreciate Ovi's style, I can assure you that Getzy isn't losing any sleep over his hairline. 

The bald demographic is a very easy going bunch. We tend to take things in stride. We ain't got no worries.  Why would we? We can literally wake up, roll out of bed, and be on our way. Who needs a mirror? Hat head? Never heard of it. You people making chemo jokes can kick rocks. Pound sand. Time is money. Money is also money. Between hair cuts, hair products, and the time that both require, bald people are winning. We are not follically challenged, we are blessed with a rich looking scalp. The rich getting richer. Having hair is for poor people. While the rest of you are trying to fix your cowlick, we are slowly getting wealthy. A penny saved is a penny earned. Conditioner is overpriced anyway. I can't think of a single thing to make fun of Getzlaf for. He basically won the genetic lottery. He isn't the hero that bald people deserve, but the hero bald people need. A Stanley Cup, an Olympic Gold medal, and the most formidable scalp west of the Mississippi. Grab your brush and comb through that resume. That's the trifecta right there. I could laugh off anything if I was living that good.

You can call this woman trashy. You can call her over divulgent. But don't you dare say she isn't a fan. Hell, the Islander's need more fans like this. The true salt of Earth fans that have been around through it all. Seen the Stanley Cup wins, maybe even through labor pains. Suffered through the 30+ years of misery.  If your fan base doesn't have one mother that got knocked up in the parking lot, are you even a real fan base at all? What are you just supposed to enjoy the success of your sports franchise without having unprotected sex in the back of a Buick? I have always lived by the phrase "it's not worth winning if you can't sin big".

This is actually a genius move. There is one main fear I have as a potential future parent. You're probably thinking to yourself "he's got to be concerned about providing for his child". Nope. Maybe you're thinking "he probably is worried about installing a strong moral fiber". Ehhhh, nope. My main concern is that my child won't like the same sports teams as me. I can barely deal with my friends and their uneducated sports allegiance, you think me and my seed will both survive 18 years in the same household with contrasting loyalties? If my son's first word is 'Rangers' I will fly to China, put him in a basket, and ship him right down the river with all unwanted oriental newborns. How old is too old to give your child up for adoption? If my kid chooses to go to Penn State he better pray he can afford every cent of his tuition. Hope he has money left over to pay for a new father too, because he will officially be excommunicated. 

Know the best way to avoid your child rebelling via fanhood? Crap him out at an Islanders game. You can't be conceived at an Islanders game, have your first view on this Earth be of tattered floor of the Nassau Coliseum, and try to convince people you're a Rangers fan. Talk about disingenuous. Other than your parents, the Islanders are the people most responsible for your existence. You think if Mike Bossy had the talent of Patrick Flatley your parents would be fogging the windows on a brisk autumn night in Fistfuck, Long Island? No sir. You owe your life to those Stanley Cups. 'Not under my roof' is right. The Islanders brought you into this world and they will take you out too. 

Is it embarrassing to have your mother post-narrate the doggy style sex that resulted in your fetus in front of thousands upon thousands of people? Sure is, but it's all about looking on the bright side. Judging by his mother's personality, she was bound to let the story behind his conception slip at one point or another. Might as well use it to be known as the biggest Islanders fan ever. You know the guy that claims he's the best fan ever because he goes to every game, regardless of whether they suck or not? That guy looks like the chick taking selfies and asking what 'icing' means compared to this kid. Going to every game is for pussies. You got to break some water on that floor before you can call it your own. 

Guess who's back? Back again?! 3,000 miles, a new coast, a 48 hour computer document transfer (what year is this?), and no worse for the wear. Well just consider the 15 pounds of booze and southern food an occupational hazard. Anyway, what kind of observationalist would I be if I ignored the intricacies of this fair nation of ours. Trust me, you drive coast to coast you learn a lot about the regions you were blessed not to be raised in. For instance, a lot of them are about a century and a half behind. So with no further ado….

Virginia
It is no secret that I have always harbored a disdain for West Virginia. this is based on nothing other than their "University", if you choose to call it that. I choose to consider it a 4 year day care center for the intellectually handicapped, with a couple exceptional athletes mixed in, but that's neither here nor there. I have always hated their athletic programs, and since that's really all they offer, besides incesstual tendencies and bad dental work, I have always hoped for the worst for the entire state. If I could have attached a flamethrower to the back of my car and trail blazed the entire state out of it's misery I would have done so in a heartbeat. With that said, I think It's time to cut West Virginia some slack…

You know how you meet some one that is completely void of any redeeming qualities whatsoever, the proverbial wet blanket, if you will? Then you wonder how they turned out so poorly…until you meet their parents. That's exactly what West Virginia is. The spawn of asexual reproduction from  the worst father state in the history of regional formation. You ever wonder why West Virginia is one of the biggest party schools in America? It's because Virginia is the parent that shadows their child from all of life's vices. Gives them an 8PM curfew and teaches them that alcohol is basically the Devil's piss. Then they graduate and eventually turn into proud Mountaineer alumni. No smarter, just 5 years older, 80 pounds heavier, a meth addiction, and about 8 more relatives on the bedpost.

No joke. I sat in a Shoney's in Virginia, next to a 13-14 year old boy, that was on a first date with a girl…..and 3 other of her females relatives. I swear I was in the 1970's. It was almost like this girl's female bloodline was trying to throw her into an arranged marriage before she even became a woman. It's 2015. 13 is the new 18. In any relevant area of society teenagers are probably at least getting anal before they come within a thousand yards of meeting the parents. Due to the statistics (1 for 1) I  can only imagine this is commonplace in Virginia. There is just no chance I was lucky enough to be next to the only teenager in Virginia that doesn't know what SnapChat is. Something tells me, the kid asked for the first LG camera phone thats takes 1.5 pixel pictures for his birthday. Kids these days are taking HD pictures of their genitalia and this kid is running the estrogen guantlet before he even sees her mid drift. In 20 years the better part of the nation will be living like the Jetson's and Virginia will still be trying to memorize their 30 digit WiFi password.

I truly believe that if someone offered me the winning powerball ticket, under the pretense that I had to live the rest of my life in Virginia, I would instantly light that ticket on fire. Then I would piss on that ticket. Let it dry. Then light it on fire again just out of principal. Give me an old refrigerator box in an alley in Hoboken, New Jersey over a mansion in the middle of Virginia 11 times out of 10.

Nashville
I was actually pretty excited to visit Nashville. A city that prides itself on it's food, booze, and music is right in my wheel house. Saturday night was fantastic. Hit the main drag, did some bar hopping, drank some moonshine like it wasn't nothin'. Pretty cool city. The combination of alcoholism and country music is a home run every time. Give me a Kenny Chesney CD and I will turn a sober evening into a suicide mission. Give me some moonshine and I'll throw on some cowboy boots and start overusing 'y'all'. It's really quite the phenomenon. Adding booze and country music is like adding Guinness and Jameson in the alcoholic milkshake of life. One just makes the other so much better, and they both end up in a literal and metaphorical car bomb of sorts. 

However, I would be remissed to mention the lack of night life on a Sunday night. Simple can't have a strip of bars that are mostly closed on a Sunday evening, especially after a huge music concert is letting out. Grow up Nashville. Weekends don't end until you hate yourself on Monday morning. Get with the times. I know it's a little religious down there, but even God relaxed on the 7th day. So what if my idea of resting is throwing back a dozen beers and listening to country music. That's what your city should hang it's hat on. 

Memphis
I spent about 35 minutes total in the city of Memphis and it is still the most confusing 35 minutes of the trip. Stopped for some quick BBQ on the way through to New Orleans. BBQ, A++. The short bus that had "SHAWTY" spray painted on the front and back of it? Outstanding imagery. The city as a whole (AKA the 3 mile stretch I saw of it)? Night and day. You know when rappers try to exensuate the poverty in which they were raised. The first mile off the highway looked like a low budget Paul Wall video. I swear I heard Ludacris' "Growing Pains" playing in the background. We passed about 14 businesses en route to the first BBQ joint we attempted to stop at. Let's just say the only business that was open, at Noon on a Monday, was the kind of business that doesn't require real estate. I'm not one to get flustered in unfamiliar territory, but there was no way I was stopping my car to check Yelp for a BBQ place that was actually open. Pretty sure I had sole ownership of the only car on the street that wasn't on cinderblocks. 

Not totally surprising that Memphis isn't the best area, I kind of expected such. Until I turned the corner that is. I'm not talking about a line in the sand that separates white collar and blue. I'm talking about it being a hop, skip, and a jump from food stamps to Maseratis. It's almost like there was some electrical fence that separated the impoverished from the affluent. No joke, If Mr. Drummond lived in Memphis he would have far more than two adopted children. Probably be showing up at his door daily. You can literally throw a rock from America's version of a 3rd world country and hit a guy that is watering his money tree. Quite the interesting phenomenon. 

New Orleans
You know how sometimes you date a girl and think your madly in love with her until a prettier, funnier girl comes along and casts her in an unforgiving light? That's what New Orleans did to Nashville. I feel like I would hold Nashville in much higher regard if it wasn't immediately followed by New Orleans. Only once, amongst the myriad of drink stops made, were we told that the bar was closed in New Orleans. It was a jazz club at like 2AM on a Wednesday. I almost told the owner to pack up his shit and move the bar to Nashville.

Every time I go to New Orleans I end up sitting in the sun, listening to live music, eating incredible food and sipping a beer I just carried out of the bar. It's at those moments I wonder "why the fuck don't I live here?". It doesn't take long to realize that it would take mere weeks to become a complete degenerate living in NOLA. It's not a surprise that the population of the French Quarter is only 5,000. Probably matches the same number of people that drink their liver into an untimely death per year. I need the comforting restraints of the bar to keep me from becoming a full blown alcoholic. I can't be trusted with the ability to roam the streets at any particular time, of any particular day, with a beer. How often do you say to yourself "I could really use a beer"? Imagine if you could just snag a road soda on the way to work, or crush a Hurricane while on lunch break. You know what time of day is great for a Hurricane? Every time of day. That's the problem with New Orleans. It's fatal flaw is that you can have whatever you want whenever you want, and I can't bear the responsibility of my own decision making. 

Texas

Texas can broken up into three distinct land models. First you have the cities, no complaints there. Honestly, I think the state would make more sense if they built 30 foot concrete walls around Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and Houston, because the rest of the state is eerie to say the least. In between cities you have mile long stripes of town that would make great scenery for filming a horror movie. I could have sworn we passed the area where they filmed 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' until we passed it again 5 minutes later. Except, like Jay-Z said, this ain't a movie dog! In between the stripes of town you have what can only be described as the burial ground for the thousands of people that go missing on a daily basis. They don't even put up 'Missing' signs in Texas, because everyone knows where to find dead bodies. They also know the vast wasteland between cities is too much ground to cover. You go missing in Texas, you go missing forever. Those be the rules, y'all. 

New Mexico

I know 50 is a nice round number, but what is the resale value on New Mexico? Think we can trade that shit back to Mexico with a state to be named later for a couple bottles of Tequila and a landscaper to be named later? I think that is the best option. You know when people say that an ugly girl has a great personality to make up for her misfortune in the aesthetic department? People do the opposite with land masses. If a state has nothing to offer from an entertainment standpoint, they say it is beautiful. I'm not saying that New Mexico doesn't have some beautiful areas, but that doesn't make up for it's lack of personality.

Given the arbitrary nature of state borders, I can't, in good conscience, consider it a coincidence that the temperature dropped 30 degrees and a thick fog covered the the road moments after crossing the state line. New Mexico is the land of the soulless. That's really the only explanation. Don't give me some geographical explanation. New Mexico is the Devil's playground. What's the population there anyway? 150? I think I saw 10 people statewide. 

Look at a list of these cities and tell which one doesn't fit....Nashville, New Orleans, Dallas, Albuquerque. Exactly. Albuquerque doesn't even sound like a place that you would want to be. It's the American version of Uzbekistan, the shit doesn't even sound entertaining.

Las Vegas

If you have never been skydiving, you should go now. Actually, fuck that. Not now, but RIGHT NOW. Strap a stranger on your back and dive face first out of a plane. Guarantee you it will be the best $200 you have ever spent. Thank me later.

Didn't spend too much time on the strip, but that's what happens when you go from Nashville to New Orleans to Las Vegas. Even the savviest of livers need a water break. Plus, you know the deal. What happens in Vegas....probably gets made into a fictional movie with two crappy sequels.

California

Finally home, or something like it. I should probably find a place to live before we go as far as using that dreaded 4 letter word. However, I think I would rather be homeless in California than be in an actual home in New Jersey. Certainly ain't freezing to death at 60 degrees overnight. Even so, homeless never looked so good.

Does anyone have it better than Gronk right now? He's basically on a nationwide tour where he gets super drunk and throws things on the ground to crowds of people that shower him with praise. Do you know awesome throwing shit on the ground is? It was basically my favorite activity as a child. Which makes total sense given the fact that Gronk is basically a 6 year old brick shit house with the alcohol tolerance of the 50 year old dude at the bar that has been drinking Jack Daniel's neat since Monday. Spiking a football is an act that is as old as time itself. If I had to guess it was the first celebration. Not first football celebration. The first time anyone celebrated anything they probably threw whatever they had in their hand at the ground as hard as they could. Do you understand how hard it is to make an action that has been around for centuries yours? It's the equivalent of being able to walk around and claim you made alcohol popular. It's like bringing back the two step. Do you even remember anyone else besides Gronk spiking a football? Off the top of my head I couldn't give you a single name, and it's been done a million times before Gronk's superhuman seed was even conceived. 

Super Bowl champ? Yeah, that's nice. Millions of dollars and the potential to become the best tight end in NFL history? I certainly wouldn't hate it. Traveling the country getting shitfaced with basically whoever you want? Sounds like the American dream to me. Are any of those his greatest feat as a person/football player? Nope. His greatest achievement is that he can smash anything of his choosing on the ground and no one would blink an eye. He could stomp in your house uninvited and spike your grandmother's urn and you would just say "ohhh Gronk" and get him a beer as you coughed from the ashes. 


Gronk is to spiking as Gronk is to the number 69. Just completely owns the most simplistic celebration as well as dual oral satisfaction. It's almost not even fair. Somewhere the inventor of the spike and the inventor of the 69 are rolling over in their graves. Is there anything better than completely owning a celebration and a sexual position? If I spent my entire life celebrating and mutually mouth fucking I would be a perfectly content person. Well maybe not perfectly content, I would probably also be on my 40th jaw surgery, but that's not the point. The fact that Gronk has the ability to physically dominate anyone and everyone that comes across his path isn't even the most awesome thing about him. I dare you to try to 69 tonight and not even think of Gronk for one second. I dare you to spike a football and not have any spectators mention the name of Rob Gronkowski. The only things he knows are football, fucking, drinking, and smashing things, and he's better than all of us at every single one of them.

Check the pulse. Call the morgue. Ready the funeral processions. The Maple Leafs are dead and  by all logical counts it was the Devils that are responsible. No matter that the Devils were outshot by the ratio of 2:1. That's all a part of the game plan, as far as I can tell anyone. Outshot 154-87 during the 5 game home stand and skipping away with a 4-0-1 record. It's a little strategy I call 'rope a dope', ever heard of it. It's pretty famous. Bet you don't even know that Muhammad, the guy that made it famous, has the most commonly used name on the planet. How about you read a book? I told you it's important to build from the goaltender on out. You know the cat toy that is a stick with a string and a stuffed mouse on the end of it? The Devils have been treating their opponent like the cat. Just letting the opponent pounce all over them only to tear the game away from them at a moment's notice. Enjoy tiring yourself out by firing an endless amount of pucks at the impenetrable ginger that is Cory Schneider. I don't even get nervous when teams have point blank opportunities on Cory anymore. I'll fucking get up to get another beer while the opposition has a 2 on 1. Call me when someone actually has a chance to score. 
​

How about Steve Bernier? Six goals in eight games. How is that even possible? I actually think that Bernier would be more productive if he didn't use a stick when he played the game of hockey. I think 60% of his goals come from going to the tough areas and getting hit with the puck. Most of the time they need to zoom in on a replay and slow it down to a quarter of the speed to see that it even hit him. He's been the beneficiary of more scoring changes than any player in the history of sports. His job description is pretty much "get to the front of the net and cover your nuts". 

Are we witnessing the new age CBGB line? Ruutu-Josefson-Tootoo have been killin' it. Two players whose mere presence on the opening day roster had me nauseous. Now they are providing an offensive spark. Who would have thought that the best thing for Josefson's career would be Jordin Tootoo, and vice versa? They are basically the personification of Fireball. Cinnamon or whiskey on it's own? Meh. Putting them together screams bad decision, but apparently results in a good time for all parties involved.

Congrats to Patrik Elias. Milestone after milestone. All in the red and black. I think the coolest thing about Elias accomplishments is that he takes so much pride in the fact that they all came in a Devils jersey. That very well may be lip service. Shit, it probably is, but it's the type of lip service I can get behind. Just another type of lip service that can keep my dick hard. 400 goals for a player that prides himself on his ability to create for others. Pretty awesome. That big number 26 will look good hovering over the Prudential Center ice one day

"The tech I got was ridiculous," Paul said. "That's terrible. There's no way that can be a technical. We try to get the ball out fast every time down the court. When we did that, she said, 'Uh-uh.' I said, 'Why uh-uh?' and she gave me a technical. That's ridiculous. If that's the case, this might not be for her." -Chris Paul



​Very little doubt this is going to turn into a Chris Paul versus a female controversy instead of a good old fashioned player versus official controversy. Let me start by saying I don't have a clue what Chris Paul said, it may very well have been derogatory. It may very well have been something he says to officials, whether female or male, on a game by game basis. There's no real way to know without the official, herself, coming out publicly and explaining the incident. I do, however, know that players get into arguments with officials all the time. Whether they be black, white, male, or female, players tend to disagree with officials on upwards of 75% of their calls. That goes for basketball, football, hockey, and every other major sport. The nature of being an official is that somewhat is going to think you are nearly every time you make a decision. 

So what exactly is wrong about what Chris Paul said? That this might not be for her? Is there a possibility that he's right? That looked like a pretty bogus technical to me. I don't think that women are incapable of being professional referees, I just think it's unnecessary. Is the NBA shocked that they ran into an issue? Did they think they were going to insert women to be authority figures over men twice their size and everything was going to go smoothly. It's tough enough for officials to get the respect of the players as is, even more so when the official we are talking about is one of the only females in her field. Are we supposed to stop judging male cheerleaders too? Stop judging white basketball players? Straight men in the fashion industry? Stereotypes exist for a reason, and women generally suck at making decisions. They can't even decide what they want to eat, never mind whether or not there was a legitimate rule broken. Maybe not this particular official, although the video speaks to the contrary. They also don't handle controversy well. That technical screams irrational overreaction. Surprised she didn't bring up a foul Chris Paul committed three months ago and demanded he sleep on the couch. 

Isn't feminism about equal rights for women in society? That women can do anything and everything? Stop me if I am off base, but male officials get criticized in the media all the time. What this female official fell victim to is an occupational hazard. Sometimes a player is going to go out of his way to let you and the world know that he doesn't think you are doing your job correctly. The NBA is never up in arms when it's a male official getting lambasted. The fact that this story is a big deal is in direct opposition to the entire concept of feminism, as I understand it anyway.

The problem I have with female officials is that it is a huge publicity stunt. It's all about public relations. It's all about catering to the female audience and potentially gathering new viewers. Does anyone really think adding females to the payroll is going to enhance the product? I am not saying they aren't physically able to do it, I am just saying that it is going to cause more problems than it is worth. Chris Paul was pissed because a referee, whether male or female, interrupted the flow of the game. A game he is mentally and physically invested in. Would he have been better off not adding in the "this might not be for her"? Obviously. But given the situation, from Chris Paul's prospective anyway, she hesitated. A clear sign that she might not be ready for the stage she is being given.

http://deadspin.com/report-dustin-byfuglien-threw-evander-kanes-tracksuit-1684045906

DeadSpin- According to SportsNet's report, after Kane violated the Jets' dress code by showing up to Tuesday's morning workout in a tracksuit, Dustin Byfuglien threw the tracksuit into the shower. No one on the team saw Kane after that; he reportedly missed Winnipeg's pregame meeting and answered his phone an hour before the game to say that he wouldn't be playing against the Canucks.



​Yup, that'll do it. Sound the alarm! When there is smoke, there is usually fire. Evander Kane's time in Winnipeg looks to be coming to a screeching fault. There has been controversy circulating for years over some of Kane's transgressions. Missing meetings, social media antics, bad attitude, mostly insignificant stuff as long as he manages to perform on the ice. However, when you decide to just skip a professional game that you are paid millions to participate in, you probably crossed a line you can't uncross. Truth be told, I don't really give a fuck if Evander Kane showed up to pre game practice and meetings in a track suit. Yeah, he receives a hefty paycheck to be dressed appropriately, but at the end of the day it's just an outfit. I also don't really give a fuck that Dustin Byfuglien threw his clothes in the cold tub. In fact, you almost have to expect that in a hockey locker room. I have seen unspeakable things go down amongst teammates. A wet outfit, when you blatantly show up out of dress code, doesn't scratch the surface in terms of what goes on behind closed doors. 

You can't just not show up though. Has that even happened before? Off the top of my head I can't remember an instance where a player just refused to show up, regardless of the circumstances. I don't care if Dustin Byfuglien peed down his leg while they were in the shower. I'm all for personal stances, but you can't act like a child just because someone pranks you. Not when you are making 6 million dollars a year to play a kid's game. You think LeBron James was skipping games when Delonte West was taking his mom to pound town? You think Roy Hibbert just didn't show up when Paul George was going 3 rounds a night with his wife? Granted, with the way he was playing he may as well have stayed home, but he still technically showed up. As a professional that is what you are paid to do. 

I would be doing a disservice if I ignored the elephant in the room. When your enigmatic black star player can't even get along with your only other black player, the conflict is beyond resolution. I am not saying all black people have to be friends, that would be racialist. I am saying that all black hockey players should be friends, or at least have each other's back. Especially is they are on the same team. A hockey locker room is a crazy place. A lot of white boys with reckless personalities. There are certain times in life where you should gravitate towards your own. In a sport that only employs, on average, about one black person per team, I would think Dustin Byfuglien and Evander Kane would find comfort in each other's presence. Plus, if Dustin Byfuglien has a problems with your actions, you know you fucked up. We aren't talking about a player that is completely void of off ice issues either. Pretty sure Dustin showed up like 50 pounds overweight to training camp after eating an entire herd of cattle in the offseason a couple years back. Safe to say he's not a coaches' delight. If he has an issue with you, despite your talent level and comparable skin tone, it's pretty clear he speaks for the majority.

A little piece of advice for professional athletes and those that stand to benefit off them. In 2015, the truth will set you free. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but the truth will definitely save you some inevitable embarrassment. It's called getting ahead of a story. Come on guys, do I have to play publicist too? Remember when everyone thought Josh Shaw was a heroic lifeguard for a day, until the truth came out that he sprained both ankles escaping a domestic dispute? Remember the days when people thought bikers could ride 2,200 mile races with ease, and baseball players could hit the ball 7,000 feet, based solely off natural strength and athletic ability? Honestly, I kind of miss those days. The days when the public was completely oblivious to steroid use. Those days are no longer though. If you do something stupid, whether it be sticking a needle in your ass, or skipping your game because you have wet clothes, the media is going to find out. There are too many sources, too much technology, too many branches of the inter-webs. Plus, wouldn't you want the media to talk about how Kane is a moron for skipping work, instead of them thinking you are an uptight asshole for suspending him for a dress code violation?

Taking a look at the common post Super Bowl headlines you will notice a lot of things. Tom Brady may be the greatest quarterback ever. Bill Belichick is a genius. Richard Sherman is a moron.  Malcolm Butler, the unlikeliest of heroes. Julian Edelman putting on a studly performance despite possibly playing with a concussion. Gronk being the coolest dude ever. I mean,  it's literally impossible to hate Gronk unless spend your Friday nights memorizing Bible passages like Russell Wilson. Pete Carroll may be responsible for the single dumbest decision ever made.  Seriously, talk about life giving you lemons and turning them into a big bag of lemon flavored shit. 
The topics you read about had a variance as high as Johnny Manziel's blood-alcohol content.

One thing you probably didn't read about is how Russell Wilson was responsible for one of the dumbest interceptions ever thrown. I'll preface this by saying Malcolm Butler made an amazing play. No one can deny that. I'll also say that Wilson shouldn't have been put in that position. As far as who is more responsible for the outcome of the play, I would think Pete Carroll shoulders more of that burden. Maybe that's why Wilson has been given a pass. If they scanned the camera back to Pete and he was butt naked with his dick tucked into a perfect mangina, the first topic of discussion on Monday morning would still be his play call and not his alternative lifestyle. So I suppose it is easy to overlook who actually threw the interception, on a slant route, of all plays. 

The nature of football is that the quarterback gets too much credit when a team wins, and too much blame when a team loses. At least that's how it used to be. That's why more often than not the SuperBowl MVP trophy is given to a team's offensive signal caller. Take a look back though history and you will see that some pretty pedestrian quarterback performances that were deemed MVP worthy. Think about much credit Tom Brady has been given, and rightfully so, for a dynamic 4th quarter in which he completed 13 of 15 passes for 124 yards and two touchdowns. Now think about what the narrative would be had the Seahawks let Marshawn Lynch carry them in to the end zone and subsequently to a second consecutive Super Bowl victory. You can bet your ass we would be talking about Tom Brady's two interceptions on the biggest stage the sport has to offer. We would be talking about how Tom Brady went from 3-0 in Super Bowls to 3-3 in Super Bowls real fucking quick. So why does Russell Wilson fly under the radar for blindly launching the ball in to the hands of an awaiting defender with a Super Bowl victory not only on the line, but almost a certainty given the success of his running back. Horrendously bad play call? Yes, but if Russell Wilson throws that ball away you've still got two chances two score, one time-out, and one of the hardest people in the world to tackle. I know Russell is a mere three years into his career and already has two Super Bowl appearances. However, if we are going to give him credit for leading a team whose success is based primarily on a strong defense and a stellar running game, than he should be taking some criticism when he throws a terrible interception and costs his team a championship.

In case you hadn't realized, not the world's biggest Russell Wilson fan. I am secure enough with myself to admit this is biased. I'm not of the school of thought that every quarterback has to be a loud, boisterous type. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Some of the leagues most decorated quarterbacks have been very understated in their demeanor, but toughen up a bit Russ. For Christ sake, when you are making Tom Brady, a guy that has never been touched and not thrown a complete hissy fit, look like a bad ass you have some image reshaping to do. Brady has hair plugs and has been slinging the most feminine shoe product in recent history with his involvement in Ugg's. Compared to Wilson, and his choir boy image, he may as well be riding Harley Davidson's, getting into bar fights, and dating strippers. When I would rather have a beer with Tom Brady, there is a serious problem at hand. 

I like to think I wasn't the only one turned off by Wilson's tears and religiously inspired post game speech after beating the Packers in the NFC championship. My fucking God, quite literally, a higher power was not responsible for his four interceptions and his multitude of attempts to throw away the game. Can we just keep God out of it? Religion has no place on the gridiron. You want to kneel and give a shout out to the guy in the sky after a touchdown? By all means. But can we not go all 'Jehovah's Witness' on national television with the religious propaganda? Where was God on Sunday Russ? Was he the guy that had one too many beers during the Katy Perry halftime show? Did he eat one too many wings and pass out in a food coma? Maybe he's just a big Tom Brady fan? Should have sucked off a few more priests, alter boy. He certainly didn't have your back, 'Angels In The Outfield' style, when you threw an unGodly interception to cap off an otherwise mediocre performance. If God has a hand in the outcome of everyone's career path then Ryan Leaf should be using the Bible to roll his joints. Matt Leinart should be using holy water to clean his forever unclean dick. Rex Grossman should be using a cross to cut his wrists. Quite frankly, it discredits all the hard work and decision making that have made Russell Wilson such a successful quarterback to say that football is all part of God's plan. Like he is up in the clouds running the NFL like his own personal WWE pay per view. 

I'm sorry, but this playlist is just so Russell Wilson it hurts. I genuinely can't get behind my quarterback if this is what he listens to to get himself amped. The rest of the world is bumping Eminem, 'Til I Collapse', and Wilson's blood really gets pumping to Marvin Gaye and Barry White. The only place blood should be pumping to this playlist is to a massive erection, because this is a after-hours playlist if I have ever seen one. If I was a Patriots player and you showed me this before the game, I would genuinely question whether Russell Wilson was trying to beat me or fuck me. Whether he was trying to throw TD's on me, or just throw a D on me. I'll tell you what, Wilson sure as shit 'Signed, Sealed, and Delivered' that interception on his final possession. There is just no way that anyone could possess a killer instinct with Michael Jackson's adolescent boy inspired lyrics  stuck in their head. I criticized the story when it first came out, but maybe Wilson's teammates concerns over his 'blackness' were legitimate. An entire playlist (not shown) and the only hip hop song is by Macklemore? The most edgy song is not only performed by someone whiter than the local Starbucks, but is the only song that keeps this playlist from being fit for a 60 year old woman. Can't rock 'Beats By Dre' and not have one song representative of the current delegation of black rap artists. Be better Russ. Do better. 

Sure this film didn't feature Bradley Cooper. It probably won't win any prestigious awards. It doesn't tug on the heart strings like it's predecessor, American Sniper. But you could sure as shit save yourself 3 plus hours and walk away with a happy ending. Some may say that Mike Cammalleri isn't a hero. Some may say he is not the sniper we want. However, I'll be damned if he's not the sniper we need. Some will point to his decision to fake picking up the puck that led to the Senators goal in the 2nd period. A decision so perplexing it is only rivaled by Pete Carroll going 'Ask Madden' in the last minute of the Super Bowl. To that I say, you can't create a masterpiece without the proper buildup. Without a rising action there can be no climax. Study dramatic structure for me, one time. Plus, the way Schneider was playing, Cammy literally had to give them one. Can't score a come from behind game winning goal if you are never behind to begin with.  While some people may call him a coward for hiding behind his laser light, pinpoint accuracy, I call him a savior. A true Canadian hero.

Dare I say it? The Devils aren't all that bad. I mean, they definitely aren't good, but they aren't a team that's going to roll over and die against the best the league has to offer. I don't foresee them having too many streaks where they win 7 out of 10, like they currently are having, but I also don't see anymore 5 game losing streaks in their future. People will point to Deboer's departure because they are simple minded, but you can't deny this team looks different. Whether it was simply making a change for change's sake, or just getting some familiar faces behind the bench, this isn't the same team we watched for the better part of 2014. They look more creative, more focused. They still struggle to get shots, but the thought process, that was considerably lacking to start the season, now seems to be there. I don't think something as simple as a coaching change is the reason Steve Bernier went from being allergic to stat sheets to becoming an offensive catalyst. I don't think Adam Oates turned Jordin Tootoo from a helpless human being to a solid role player with basic offensive instincts in his short tenure. Maybe they are finally clicking. Maybe it's just a little bit of puck luck. Personally I think the team that played for Deboer was one that was stigmatized by giving up late leads only to inevitably lose. Whether that had to do with him, or a lack of leadership and winning culture behind closed doors, I don't think we will ever know. 

Anyone of the moronic fans that were calling for Cory's head early in the season ready to come out from their rabbit hole? The guy was a stud last night. Turned away point blank opportunity after point blank opportunity en route to another victory. Let's not be like our cross river rivals were last year and create a goaltender controversy that isn't there. In his limited starts, Kinkaid has looked fantastic. Despite a couple of early bumps in the road, Schneider has given the Devils a chance to win nearly every game he has been between the pipes. Quality depth at a position as integral as goaltending is a good problem to have, not a cause for concern. 

While it may not be what is best for the future of this franchise, it certainly is refreshing to finally watch some consistently competitive hockey. Watching this team is no longer equivalent to watching their AHL counterpart. Well, most of the time anyway. That in itself is a reason for optimism. A reason to think that this team isn't completely void of hope for the future. A reason to continue to stay behind this team despite their porous record.