I am actually glad that this barista is getting her jokes off now, because if she's still peddling overpriced coffee a decade from now she's going to have to eliminate this gag from her arsenal. The only reason she felt comfortable enough calling bullshit on this girl's name being Beyonce is because this girl is far too old to be a Beyonce. If she couldn't see over the counter then it would be completely feasible that she was being sincere. Queen Bey is the biggest female superstar in the world. If you don't think eccentric parents with absurdly high hopes aren't going to start making their children her namesake then you are out of your rabbit ass mind. In fact, I bet the process has already started. There's probably a bunch of baby B's out there that are about 16 years away from casually dropping their name at a Starbucks and they'll be pissed if they receive a caramel mochacchino that has 'U. WISH' scribed across the side of it. So get your laughs at the expense of the 'Single Ladies' now, because you're going to want to respond appropriately when the 'Independent Women' of the next generation hit you with the 'Say My Name' command.
I Guess This Video Of A Dude Tricking A Girl Into Lying About Her Relationship Status Proves She's A Gold Digger?
The gall of this woman to turn down the advance of a stranger that looked like he dressed himself in the clearance section of the 'Salvation Army' store! How could she lie about her availability just to get out of a super awkward conversation? I would have never guessed that the woman sitting alone outside of a coffee shop in a little black dress at lunchtime would be a little superficial. I was stunned when she approached the guy that asked her out 10 minutes prior now that she knew that he -in fact- wasn't a homeless person. Using someone's obnoxious, inappropriate choice of outfit to make a split second judgement? Refusing to read the book because it's cover is patently absurd? Psssssh, sounds like a gold digger to me. She deserves to shamed all over the internet and be made to look like a glorified prostitute because she doesn't just assume that ever single man that happens to prematurely confront her on the street is deserving of a date. Why wouldn't the guy that's walking around looking like he raided a blind man's closet be the same guy that wears a suit to work and owns a $100,000 dollar car?
You see, it's videos like this that just fan the feminist's flames. Is this chick a lying, gold digging bitch? Maybe, but we will never know because this situation was so obviously manipulated to make her look bad. I don't know if she has a boyfriend or not. I know that if a girl walked up to me wearing that I would say that I have a girlfriend too. Just a little white lie to avoid hurting a person's feelings. Nothing wrong with that. Even if she does have a boyfriend, she's not going to compromise that relationship for a guy that dresses like the kid from 'Big Daddy'. If she wants to do it for the guy rolling around in a car that's worth more than her hypothetical boyfriend's yearly salary then I can't blame her. That's not gold digging. For a girl that's just sitting around doing absolutely nothing in the middle of the day that's just a wise business decision.
I Think I Have Figured Out The Reason That Drew Brees Isn't On The List Of Fan's Favorite Quarterbacks
Let me start by saying that I don't give one single fuck how anyone else feels about my team or it's future Hall of Fame starting quarterback. I am blogging this solely out of curiosity. Just trying to get to the bottom of the logistics behind a 'Top 5 Favorite Quarterbacks' list that doesn't feature Drew Brees. The only reasoning that makes sense to me is that there is a very obvious disclaimer missing at the bottom. This survey that remains completely nonsensical could all be cleared up with one simple asterisk. It's a conveniently placed "Drew Brees not included" from being fit for ages 15-35. That's the only explanation, right? That Drew Brees is actually so universally loved that this poll would have been skewed when he took up 90% of first place votes. It wouldn't be right to do that to the rest of the candidates. Back in the day my hockey team traveled to England for a tournament and as the only Americans we were far and way the best team there. Before the championship we heard one of the kids on the other team telling his mom he "won" second place, because that's how unbeatable we were. Much like that, I think Drew Brees absence just atones for his invincibility in terms of likability.
Think about it. What's not to like? Go down the list. He basically possesses the same strengths as all of these quarterbacks without their flaws. He's a winner, but he has never been the centerpiece of a league wide scandal. He's put up ridiculous regular season numbers, but he can still throw the ball further than 10 yards and he's never put his balls on anyone's face without asking first. He's mobile in the pocket, but he actually has a sense of humor that doesn't make you want to die of second hand embarrassment. He's tough as nails, but he's managed to be the only person in the world that hasn't dabbed at least once. He's religious, but not in the that holier than thou, "pray after every pass" sort of way. If you took the best aspects of the five players on this list and used them to create a super quarterback it would resemble a slightly taller, slightly blacker Drew Brees. That's why I have no choice but to believe his exclusion was intentional.
In Case You Really Needed It, Here Is The Reason Chris Ash Didn't Contact Kyle Flood After He was Hired
NJ.com- "Kyle is a great guy," Ash said. "I don't know him, but I've met him on the recruiting trails and shaken his hands in schools and things like that. I had nice conversations with him.
"I didn't really feel like there was a need to have a conversation about what's happened here and why. I'm not really concerned about what's happened in the past. I'm coming to do business the way I think it needs to be done.
"If there are things that have been done here that I like, I'll keep it," he said. "If things are not what I like, then I'm blowing it up and moving on. That's just the way we're doing it."
"That's what I'm here to do," he said. "I'm here to change the way business has been done and get it on more of a championship level or a Big Ten East level, and hopefully change the results in the process."
Chris Ash you sly dog you. I knew this guy was a multifaceted talent, but I didn't know he was this adept at churning out fake pleasantries. This was like high school chicks complimenting each other at the lunch table "nice". This was like Kobe Bryant retirement tour "nice". This was hold the door open for someone only to find out they aren't even attempting to get to it in a timely manner "nice". It was slow down and let a person cut you off in traffic "nice". If everyone was honest with themselves then their reactions would be drastically different than they usually are in those situations. Chris Ash just took a laughable question, and gave one of the most genuinely considerate answers I have ever heard, and it made me think more highly of him as a person.
You know what he should have said? He should have said "I didn't contact Kyle Flood because I don't need to know what not to do". He should have said "I didn't contact Kyle Flood because a real military captain wouldn't contact Tom Hanks when trying to learn how to best do his job". He should have said "why would I contact the former ringleader of a three ring circus to find out how to run a a successfully Big Ten college football program?". He should have said "I don't take tips from people that wear visors when they know it is going to rain".
Make no mistake, Kyle Flood and Chris Ash have technically held the same job title, but the latter is the only one with a plan of living up to the description. There's literally not one single thing that Kyle Flood could say to Chris Ash that could potentially benefit Rutgers football going forward. Not his utterly baffling endorsement of Chris Laviano as a starting quarterback. Not his signature cliches for postgame press conferences. Not even his not-so-subtle process of going about getting a student athlete's grade changed so that he's eligible to play football. I'm praying that Chris Ash won't need to elicit the help of Kyle Flood's uncanny ability to look like he's sailing peacefully along as the entire ship is sinking beneath his feet. Let's hope he doesn't need instructions on how to casually sip his morning coffee as a dumpster fire closes in around him. When Chris Ash is preaching about the togetherness of his team I would like to think he won't be doing it as half the roster sits in a prison cell, and therefore every lesson Kyle Flood could possibly teach is from an outdated curriculum. This program is unquestionably better off setting every one of Elmer Flood's lesson plans aflame. No reason to keep the bath water when you've finally gotten rid of the baby...
TMZ- Kylie could have an unwelcome visitor soon...a re-po man looking for a G-Wagon...
We've learned a re-po man has been hired to reclaim a 2013 G-Wagon Tyga owned...it's the same one he gave to Black Chyna. Remember, Tyga had it replanted last August and Kylie was seen driving it to her birthday dinner at Nobu. It looked like a birthday present, but she denied it.
According to the docs we've seen, Tyga hasn't made payments on the SUV since October, and now the repo company is on the hunt. The docs ID Kylie as Tyga's girlfriend and give her address as a possible place to repo the G-Wagon.
Our repo sources say the company has been trying to get the whip since last month, but they've been thwarted because it's been parked at Kylie's house and she's behind 2 security gates.
I can't believe I am going to say this, but I think Tyga might actually be a pioneer. Well, I guess he already was in the sense that he made it okay for someone in their mid-20's to date an underage girl for an extended period of time, but this new development is far more commendable. Temporary gifts. I can't believe we haven't thought of this before. Tyga isn't broke. People that are broke don't tell Paul McCartney to kick rocks when he tries to get into their Grammy's after party. The only reason Tyga stopped paying for Kylie's car is because her gift expired. I wasn't able to obtain the birthday card, but I am pretty sure it said "enjoy this Mercedes truck for the next 3 months on me!". With the fickle state of celebrity relationships who can blame him for leasing luxury presents? Nothing worse than buying an expensive gift for your future ex just prior to a breakup, and knowing that she gets to walk around with the spoils of your gratitude around her neck or on her finger years upon years after you've called it quits. I don't think it's a stretch to say that the longevity of most relationships pales in comparison to the longevity of most presents these days. That's why you almost have to go the rental route. Personally, I think wedding rings should be loaners. The divorce rate is like 68%. Why wouldn't you protect your assets? Kylie isn't hurting for money. If she wants to keep rollin' in the Benz wagon then she can take over the name on the contract, because Tyga might love her, but he only wants to commit to commemorating that love in three month endowments.
But hey, I have been wrong before...
This is the latest in what seems to be a series of Tyga's financial woes. He was slapped with tax liens totaling $120,000 and also faced eviction for non-payment of rent.
The Kobe Bryant That Ignored A Female Fan That Was Looking For A Hug Is The Kobe Bryant I'll Forever Miss
Awwwkward. As painstaking and cringeworthy as this scene was I don't blame Kobe Bryant for it ending that way. You know the fans that deserve hugs from Kobe? The fans that know Kobe well enough to know that they will never get a hug from Kobe. Especially as he leaves the court in the midst of his seventh loss in a row. Don't let that forced grin fool you my dear. Just because he is waving to the masses and high-fiving teammates as he walks off the court doesn't mean he's giving out displays of affection to everyone in attendance like he's Oprah. Yeah, he's been more mild mannered and happy-go-lucky during his retirement tour, but deep down he's still the same selfish unlikable asshole we all either loved to hate or hated to love. Even when he's playing nice-nice he still has a kindness threshold, and if you cross that line he's going to make you look like a damn fool by leaving you hanging in front of the entire viewing audience. It's definitely been weird to see cordial Kobe this season, but it's beautiful moments like this that show that the feelings of others still can't affect his behavior, and that's how I really want to remember Kobe Bryant.
P.S. Cockiest move ever for this women to assume that Kobe was coming in for the hug while she was still sitting down. Almost deserves the public embarrassment for being that narcissistic.
Arizona Coach Sean Miller Can See The Future Of Court Storming Practices, And According To Him It's Not Pretty
LBS- Sean Miller wants the Pac-12 to address court-storming and cautions that the practice could lead to one of his players punching a fan.
Miller’s Arizona Wildcats lost to Colorado in Boulder in Wednesday 75-72. After the game, Buffaloes fans celebrated by storming the court.
Miller feels this is unsafe because it could lead to injuries or worse — an assault. He spent several minutes during his postgame news conference railing about the issue.
“Eventually what’s going to happen in the Pac-12 is this: an Arizona player is going to punch a fan. And they’re going to punch the fan out of self-defense,” Miller said after the game. “And when it happens — only when it happens — will everybody take a deep breath and say we have to do something to protect both teams so that when the game ends, we have a deep breath to be able to leave the court or at least shake the other team’s hands and let us get to the locker room.”
Now that, my friends, is what we call getting out in front of the story. Shit, it didn't even take place yet and we already have a chapter by chapter breakdown. SPOILER ALERT! One day the court is going to get stormed during a Pac-12 game. The losing team is going to be Arizona. Don't ask me how Sean Miller knows that, but he does. Anyway, during the process a fan is going to instigate one of the Wildcat players, and that Wildcat player -unbeknownst to him- is going to punch that fan square in the face. Then, and only then apparently, will we be able stop holding out breath. Ennnnnnd...SCENE!
Is Sean Miller the head coach of a college basketball team, or the most forward thinking publicist of all time? I think you'd have to ask him because according to this postgame press conference he has all the answers. He already formulated the plot line of every unfavorable scenario that he and his team could possibly encounter. Already has the script at his beck and call if things start to go south. That's just a little thing we call preparation. Hope for the best and expect the worst. Safe to say that losing when your a heavy enough favorite to have the court stormed against you and then having your player knock out an outspoken fan would undoubtedly be the worst, but don't you worry because Sean Miller already scheduled that excuse train. You ain't catching him off guard, because instead of studying film he is too busy performing damage control on his prophecy that has yet to be self fulfilled. Hope the NCAA is prepared to be the recipient of the most underwhelming "I told you so" in the history of collegiate athletics, because something tells me this guy won't hesitate to give it to them...
BSO- Khloe was talking with hosts on Hollywood Today Live on Tuesday where she said that the rapper would play his music at Lamar’s bedside as he lay comatose in hospital.
‘Kanye was really instrumental in Lamar getting better,’ she said.
‘Kanye would come to the hospital and play his album for Lamar,
‘Lamar couldn’t speak at this time… but he would say he could understand everything, he just couldn’t get the words out and he felt really trapped in his own body which was terrifying,
‘When he was finally able to speak he would say “Man, Kanye really helped me, I love that he would come’
Really? Really Khloe?! I know patting each other on the ass is kind of a contagious family trait, but I think Kanye West is doing a fine job of making sure his tires are pumped to their full capacity all by himself. I look at his ego like it's a snake that's in the middle of digesting a small mammal. I simply don't understand how it is still in need of feeding. This is the guy that already thinks his work is sacred and influential, and now we are going to give him the ability to say it's medicinal too? Yeezus Christ, the next album is probably going to be named 'The Life Of Doogie Houser'* and feature a bunch of nonsensical rants about how his art is the ultimate elixir. I bet the introductory track will be called 'The Prescription' or 'The Cure' or some shit. He was already bordering on unbearable when he was simply bringing music to our ears, I can't imagine what his Twitter feed is going to look like now that he thinks he's bringing air to our lungs. Fuck a Grammy. Once Kanye finds out that his sound -and his sound only- not only brought back Lamar Odom's voice, but also gave him a second chance at life he is going to be talking about he deserves an honorary MD. Khloe Kardashian somehow -against all odds- found a way to make a self proclaimed genius' head bigger because she doesn't understand the concept of healing. Wasn't the first time and probably won't be the last time a Kardashian misdiagnosed a situation and was responsible for some shit we didn't need.
*A teenage doctor wasn't my first choice for a joke, but it turns out there aren't all that many universally known physician references. Who knew?
Dusty Baker Can't Stop Calling Bryce Harper "Royce", And He's Starting Remind Me Of Another Former Cubs Manager
Oh my God...Baker is Martinella...Martinella is Baker...
That's not racist, is it? Two former Chicago Cubs Managers -one real, one fictional- that can't seem to call their superstar players by the proper name. I can't be alone in seeing the irony in this, right? There's no way I was the only one to instantly draw this comparison. It's almost like fate. Bet you can't name another Manager in baseball that doesn't know his best player's name. That's why I don't feel at all bad saying that Sal Martinella and Dusty Baker are the exact same person. There's no other explanation for such an absurd coincidence. Sure, botching the name of a 12 year old that broke his arm and miraculously found his way to the Major Leagues in a make-believe movie is nowhere near as egregious as repeatedly screwing up the name of one of the most promising young players in all of professional baseball. Still, it would be hard to argue that the players in question weren't equally as important to their respective teams. Plus, 'Runamucka' is just as big of a bumbling of 'Rowengartner' as 'Royce' is of 'Bryce'. This isn't an "all black people are the same to me" situation. It's an "all black people that have appeared to manage the Cubs at any point and have trouble remembering names are the same to me" situation. Totally different. Just envision "Rosenbagger, warm up. You're going in" coming from the lips of Dusty Baker and tell me I am wrong...
Metro- A 16-year-old boy will be spending a month with a porn star after winning an online competition.
Ruslan Schedrin said he’s ‘so happy’ and ‘boiling inside’ after winning the chance to spend a month with X-rated actress Macy Ssens.
Unsurprisingly, his mum isn’t happy about the whole arrangement.
Ruslan said: ‘I didn’t believe it at first, I thought it was rubbish.
‘But when it turned out to be true, I thanked the website – I was so happy.
‘I called my friends and they did not believe it either. Now they are happy for me too. Some of them are envious.'
He also says Ssens, real name Ekaterina Makario, is his type, apparently.His mum, Vera Schedrina, said: ‘I am absolutley against it. He has got exams, he is studying.’
She thinks he should forfeit the potentially X-rated stay in exchange for a cash sum.
Jesus, could this mom be anymore of a cock block. Piss off lady. Your 16 year old son just won the chance of a lifetime, how about you stop being a buzzkill for like two seconds? Isn't this where the father is supposed to step in and tell him he's allowed to do it? This is the problem with single parent homes. Not enough sources of approval when the child gets a golden opportunity like spending a month of his formative years living with a professional whore. Everyone used to do that thing where they would do back and forth to their mother and father until one of them agreed that it was okay, and it inevitably caused a rift between their parents. Hell, that's probably why the Dad isn't around anymore in the first place. Too many arguments on behalf of his sexually liberated son to maintain a healthy marriage.
Seriously though, shouldn't the mother of a teenage boy be all about getting her son out of the house for awhile? That's 30 days of not getting woken up by his bed rocking while he incessantly beats the shit out of his recently pubescent dick. She might even be able to get some shuteye without the help of Ambien for the next couple of weeks. Stop worrying about what could go wrong, and think about yourself for a minute sweetheart. Teenagers are fucking brats. That's a month without a volatile, sexually charged monster running around the house. Talk about a staycation. Plus, think about how much nicer that kid will be once he empties the entirety of his tank by the Ides of March. Stop being an abstinence apologist and let your kid enjoy the month long viewing of a live porno. After all, being overprotective and shielding your children from questionable situations is something you do for a daughter, not a son. Fuck his education. High school doesn't even count until junior year anyway. The only lessons that 16 year olds truly learn from are given when their dick is hard, and his new mom looks like she has a lot of "teaching" to do...
HockeyBuzz- Been chasing a slew of rumors, but I was just told by a very reliable source that Ilya Kovalchuk may be leaving Russia and signing with an NHL team before Monday's trade deadline which would make him eligible for the post season...
The source contacted me just as news broke in Russia that Kovalchuk will NOT play Games 3 or 4 in his playoff series versus Lokomotiv SKA and has been stripped of his Captaincy.
The two teams Kovalchuk would most likely be signing with are NJ and Toronto from all indications.
I actually feel like he undersold this by referring to it as "rumor". This is about as done as a deal gets. Ilya Kovalchuk is either returning to the team he so callously abandoned, or the team that is run by the General Manager he so mercilessly left standing on a podium with his dick in his hand. Surprised it hasn't already happened to be honest. I know that Ilya Kovalchuk has been radio silent for awhile now, but I'm pretty sure that's just an indictment of Russia's telephone lines. I know that Eklund and his "sources" make 'The Onion' look like a reliable news outlet, but this one just makes far too much sense not to come to fruition. If there is one thing that this resilient Devils team needs it is an aging, one way, puck dominant winger on the downside of his career. I bet he has really sharpened his competitive edge by spending the last few years overseas playing against inferior competition. Nothing speaks to a person's ability to lead like being benched and stripped of his captaincy in the middle of a playoff series. Might as well just give us the Stanley Cup right now. Kovy is coming back to the states and he's going to be fresh as a daisy when he lands. Who cares that this Devils team has overachieved by playing a disciplined style hockey that is predicated on teamwork? A enigmatic 32 year old that's been doing whatever he fuck he wants in some glorified beer league no one gives a shit about for the last two and half years can obviously overcome a lack of chemistry. The mercenary is totally coming back to New Jersey, and he is totally capable of taking the Devils to the next level when he does...
This Attempted Shot Pass From James Harden To Dwight Howard Is A Perfect Representation Of The Houston Rockets
You want to know the funniest part about this clip of James Harden and Dwight Howard taking miscommunication to a whole new level? I actually don't blame either one of them for what took place.
Look at it from James Harden's perspective. He's been criticized all year for being an out of shape shot happy ball hog. As if carrying the load offensively wasn't cumbersome enough, he has had to listen to Dwight Howard cry about how unhappy he is with the amount of touches he gets per game. This pass was a culmination of months upon months of bitching. It was a direct result of James Harden understanding that the trade deadline has passed and that the only way the Rockets are going to achieve anything of substance this year is if he and Dwight Howard work together. That's why he reconsidered taking a pull-up jumper halfway through it, and instead lofted an alley-oop pass to the guy that's spent a vast majority of the season whining for more opportunities.
Now look at it from Dwight Howard's perspective. James Harden coming off of a screen and finding himself open for a midrange jump shot? He's putting that one up himself 99% of the time. Not only that, but that looked about as close to a shot as something could possibly look without actually being a shot. If I was Dwight Howard I wouldn't have jumped either, because there was a far better chance of him looking like an idiot than slamming home a perfectly placed lob from James Harden. Dwight Howard has given up on complaining, and just decided that it's better to accept the situation for what it is until the season ends and he can get out of dodge.
This play proves one thing and one thing only. The Houston Rockets are so disjointed that they are better off completely abandoning the concept of chemistry instead of trying to force it. They somehow made unselfish play look worse than the glorified streetball they have been playing all season, and I'm pretty sure that's a sign that they should scrap the mere thought of 'teamwork'.
Ronda Rousey Criticized Manny Pacquiao For His Thoughts On Homosexuality, And It's Nice To Know She Hasn't Changed A Bit
Uproxx- Still, add Ronda Rousey to the list of people not impressed by Pacquiao’s stance. But unlike others interested in going after Pacquiao personally, Rousey went with a bigger picture view on homosexuality as it pertains to religion. She also said she hadn’t “heard what happened” to Pacquiao.
“I understand that a lot of people use religion as a reason to be against gay people, but there was no ‘Thou Shall Not Be Gay,'” Rousey told TMZ. “God never said that, and I really think that our pope now is boss. He was saying something the other day that religion should be all-encompassing and should be about welcoming everyone and loving everyone. And I think people take the wrong message sometimes.”
Oh, look at Ronda, what a hero! She supports the rights of homosexuals everywhere. Let's shower her with rose pedals because she's such a good role model for our youth. Thank God she didn't kill herself! Who would teach our children right from wrong by taking unsolicited shots at every boxer with an antiquated belief or two? Who cares that she flat out lied about the actual contents of the Bible? It doesn't matter that her stance on "welcoming everyone and loving everyone" is completely hypocritical given her past history of criticizing everyone. She's Ronda Rousey! She's progressive and empowering and her opinion is more important than some archaic scripture that millions upon millions of people swear by.
Listen, I am not saying that Ronda Rousey is wrong in saying that homosexuality should be accepted. I am saying she's wrong in saying that the Bible doesn't very clearly renounce it. Not even a surprisingly liberal pope can talk his way around that one. Now, I obviously don't think we should follow the teachings of a thousand year old book word for word, but it also doesn't surprise me that Ronda Rousey doesn't either.
After all, It just wouldn't be a Ronda Rousey quote unless there was an ulterior motive behind it. As much of a problem as the Lord had with the gays, he had just as big of a problem with adulterers and those coveting thy neighbor's significant other. Pretty sure that up until about a week ago Ronda Rousey was dating a married man. Not only that, but she was on television talking about popping out the future children of a still married man. I don't think I would have to sit down with God over coffee to definitively say that he wouldn't exactly approve of Ronda Rousey's actions. The Holy Spirit may have hated him some homosexuality, but he didn't dedicate TWO DIFFERENT COMMANDMENTS to it. So get out of my face Ronda, you blasphemous bitch. The only reason you feel comfortable manipulating the words of the Bible is because it makes you feel better about your time as a sidepiece.
NJ.com- Now, it is all streamlined and neat, and without question, more impressive. The gray paint on the walls, Ash said, made the place "feel like a prison," so that has all been replaced with a plain white.
"A lot of the stuff in here is old. It's old, and it needs to change, and we're working on it now."
"Everybody thinks that the facility here is outstanding. I'll tell you: It's not," Ash said during a wide-ranging interview as the sun rose last Thursday. "Just look around. This is not on par with what Ohio State, Michigan, Michigan State and Penn State have.
"Is it on par with Boston College, Temple, Syracuse and UConn? Yeah, but we don't play those teams any more."
Some of this is even less noticeable to the unobservant eye. Ash looks out his office window every day and sees that the light poles outside the practice facility are tilted. "You've got old lights that look like, when you turn them on, they're going to smoke," he said. "It's not a good presentation in recruiting."
This is the priority for Ash. He already has brought in new equipment to get the team started for its offseason workout program, but the plan is to "completely wipe it out when the semester is over." Ash will change the floor, the weight racks, the equipment and, most of all, the presentation.
"We can't do what's been done in the past and expect our results to change in the future," Ash said during a wide-ranging hour-long interview in his office. "It's not going to happen. We can't keep doing business the same way."
So Ash already has changed how Rutgers players will eat. He has made it so players can get healthy foods 24 hours a day, which is allowable under NCAA rules but never offered before in Piscataway.
Now, in the coming months, he wants to change where they live. Ash said the dorms where the football players are housed, which were built in 1974, are "not on par with what other student athletes in top programs live in" and keep coming up as a negative on the recruiting trail.
"I just know when I look at it, and I look at what could happen in those dorms, it's just not good," he said. "All I can envision is just stuff that's not good."
"You've got to have full alignment by the staff and the support staff. Those are things we're trying to do," he said. "It's no secret: This place was not aligned right, with the football and the support staff and the athletic department."
Boy, don't I feel stupid. All season I was clamoring for Kyle Flood to get fired because his stupidity cost him a three game suspension, and his lack of intuitional control over his team had his entire defensive backfield sitting behind bars. Turns out those were the least of Rutgers worries. I didn't even know that the coaches were basically working in a penitentiary. No one told me that the players were living in squaller and being fed like they were in a 1960's orphanage. Almost not even their fault that half of them got arrested last year. Their decision to loot and pillage drugs from off campus houses and physically assault anyone that questioned their motives was a direct result of their environment. Who knew that the place where student athletes can best relieve their stress - the gym - was basically a glorified Retro Fitness. Facilities on par with UConn and Syracuse?! Jesus Christ, this team has been living like homeless people, no wonder their actions on and off the field have been nothing short of criminal.
I gotta be honest, I almost felt insulted for a second. You know, until I realized the person disparaging every single aspect of Rutgers football has committed himself to the program for the foreseeable future. These criticisms are like the criticisms that your significant other starts giving you after you pledge your life to one another in marriage. Sure, they might seem a little mean, but they are made out of love, and more importantly they are rooted in truth.
Does Chris Ash seem a little bit over the top? Absolutely. Can't say I would have noticed an off kilter light post or a little bit of rust on an ice machine, but that's what makes Chris Ash the man trusted to rebuild Rutgers football and me the person that sarcastically writes about him. He's basically the football version of that bitch from 'Devil Wears Prada'. He's meticulous, unwavering, and detail oriented. A real stickler for things that the average person would pay no mind. Probably makes him a real son-of-a bitch to have as a father, but it's something that could very well make him a hell of a Head Coach. What you call fussy I call conscientious, and that's the type of attitude that it takes to run a successful business. Big Ten football is serious business, and I can't say there is a man I would rather have in charge of getting Rutgers a promotion than Chris Ash.
Tennessee Trying To Get Peyton Manning Dropped From The Lawsuit Is The Dumbest Thing They Can Possibly Do
Yardbarker- Lawyers for the University of Tennessee filed a motion on Tuesday night asking for references to the Peyton Manning sexual assault accusation to be removed from a lawsuit accusing the school of creating a hostile sexual environment.
In the motion, the lawyers called the Manning reference “immaterial, impertinent, and scandalous,” per the Knoxville News Sentinel. They also say the mention of the Manning case is an attempt to generate publicity.
Six women, five of whom say they were victims of rape, filed a lawsuit against the school saying they created a hostile and discriminatory environment against victims. The Manning case was listed as one of many examples of the school’s continuing problems.
The lawyers for Tennessee say raising allegations that occurred nearly 20 years ago is "irrelevant" and an invasion of privacy to Manning and former Tennessee athletic trainer Jamie Naughright, who accused Manning of sticking his rear and genitals in her face in Feb. 1996. The matter was settled between the two parties and Naughright left her job at Tennessee.
You know what I just learned? That this lawsuit is actually about more than Peyton Manning treating his trainer's face like a bidet. It's about FIVE different RAPE victims. Literally a hand full of very serious instances of sexual assault that aren't getting the attention they deserve because everyone is so worried about dragging Peyton's name through the dirt (for dragging his balls across an innocent woman's chin) as his career comes to a close. Don't get me wrong, I am not supporting Peyton Manning. He deserves to be criticized for literally brown nosing an unsuspecting woman. I do think it's a little bit ridiculous that this criticism is taking place two decades after the fact. Especially when this story has been public for quite some time. Still, I understand why everyone feels the need to voice their opinion about it now that it has become this widespread. However, those very same people -myself included- are missing the point entirely. Apparently the University to Tennessee has been complicit in sweeping multiple rape charges under the rug, and we are sitting her worrying about a 20 year old tea bag.
As fucked up as this sounds, Tennessee should be happy as a pig in shit that we are talking about Peyton Manning, because the alternative is far more detrimental to their university. I understand that they want to exonerate their most accomplished alumni, but the sooner we stop talking about Peyton Manning the sooner we start talking about the actual allegations that make this lawsuit so damning. They have been so skilled in the art of distraction to this point, and they are about to throw themselves at the mercy of the court of public opinion because the Peyton Manning story is irrelevant? Seems pretty silly considering that irrelevance is casting a shadow on the real matter at hand. If this request gets granted and Peyton Manning gets absolved of all charges then this story goes back in the news, and the only thing left to talk about will be what remains. An allegation that the University of Tennessee harvests an unsafe working environment for females.
DailyMail- Ben Carson said he was 'proud' that America broke the color barrier when electing President Barack Obama, but suggested the current White House occupant doesn't represent the true black experience.
'He's an "African" American,' Carson said to Politico's Glenn Thrush in an interview for the reporter's podcast. 'He was, you know, raised white. Many of his formative years were spent in Indonesia. So, for him to, you know, claim that, you know, he identifies with the experience of black Americans, I think, is a bit of a stretch.'
The comments quickly raised eyebrows with Rep. Darrell Issa, a Marco Rubio supporter, suggesting this morning on CNN that Carson's 'loose talk' was what got him from frontrunner status in Iowa last fall, to his current position at the bottom of the Republican field.
'He didn't grow up like I grew up by any stretch of the imagination,' Carson, who grew up poor and with a single-mother in Detroit, had told Thrush.
Well, talk about the whitewashed pot questioning the kettle's blackness. Regardless of skin color, I don't think there are too many people out there that are going to tell you that Ben Carson is "blacker" than Barack Obama. Especially when the only criteria by which he is going by is the fact that he grew poor in Detroit with a single mother. Not exactly doing the race that he calls his own any favors by equating the unfortunate circumstances of his youth with the "true black experience", but that's neither here nor there. It's absolutely absurd for Ben Carson to imply that he is more black than Barack Obama. Ben Carson is basically an old white Republican dude who happens to have black skin, while Barack Obama is the President that shoots hoops whenever he gets the chance, publicly announces his bracket every March Madness, and once said "folks that want to pop off..." during a nationally televised press conference. As far as blackness goes, Ben Carson is Russell Wilson to Barack Obama's Cam Newton. He is Klay Thompson to Barack's Draymond Green. If Ben Carson grew up engaging in freestyle battles on 8 Mile Road he would be Clarence from Cranbrook that got emasculated by Eminem.
Ben Carson is so nauseatingly conservative that he actually made me forget that he was African American. That's why his decision to basically call Barack Obama white was a genius public relations move. How else is he going to remind people he's black? You ever heard a white man question a black man's blackness? Exactly. Ben Carson just instantly darkened his image by comparing himself to the blackest President the United States has ever had. Challenging someone's blackness is the blackest thing you can possibly do. His decision to say "hey, I'm blacker than that black guy" brought attention to the fact that he is technically black. It's kinda like when Kanye West goes on those rants saying he's more influential than every other famous person in history. He doesn't have to be right, but the fact that he even makes you think about it means he's already won. Ben Carson stands no chance of winning the Presidency, but if he did it wouldn't on the strength of his racial ambiguity. It took him calling out the most powerful black man in the world for us to be like "oh yeah, there is a black guy running". I can't imagine his intentions ran any deeper than that, because...well...come on....
What can I say? I was wrong. I am man enough to admit that (when it coincidentally happens to benefit me greatly). I can bear that cross. All that babbling on and on about how a three game losing streak -in which the Devils played fairly inspired hockey- could be the beginning signs of this team spiraling out of playoff contention? Ha! Nonsense. Must have had too much to drink that night. If there are two things that can get this team to play it's best they are adversity and the New York Rangers, and play their best is exactly what this Devils team did.
This may have been their most impressive performance of the season and that's quite the statement considering how successful they have been against some of the top teams in the league. The Devils had a 5 goal first period against Ottawa last month, and the second period last night was still their best twenty minute stretch of the entire year. The fact that this game was only 3-2 in the waning minutes of the third period was an injustice of epic proportions, because the New Jersey Devils ran their cross river rivals off the ice for a vast majority of the night. The only thing that saved this game from being an absolute bloodbath was a 90 second stretch where the Rangers netted their only two goals, and the outstanding play of Henrik Lundqvist. Even the final score of 5-2, which included an empty net goal, doesn't seem like all that good of a reflection how this lopsided this game was, and that's a testament to a Devils team whose urgency matched the importance of the situation.
Outside of a vomit inducing 5 minute powerplay to start the third period, this game couldn't have possibly gone any better. A come from behind win? Lee Stempniak continuing to twist the knife he's been shoving in the Rangers back all season by scoring the game winner? Sergey Kalinin, of all people, sealing the win with an insurance goal and putting the final touches on a Gordie Howe Hat Trick in the process? Hell, even Adam Larsson got on the board, even if it took an empty net to do so. The best part about this win? Other than the following unbelievable stop, the Devils didn't need the their All-World goaltender to stand on his head to get it..
This may have just been one victory, but it was a victory that seemed to have an exclamation point attached to the end of it. A statement game if ever there was one. An opportunity for the Devils to show their fans that they weren't all that discouraged by the bounces that haven't gone their way recently. It was a nice little head nod to people like me who implied that the last few games might have been their undoing. Kyle Palmieri slamming home the rebound of his own shot that had already gone in was the epitome of what this game was, a "fuck you" to every single one of their doubters.
Oh, and if there is one thing I would ask from this team it's that Joe Blandisi do less of this...
And more of this...
A sick night indeed, Joe.
Metro- Someone probably should have told this mayor to delete his browsing history before he took this *embarrassing* screenshot.
German mayor Thomas Koppl was taking part in a debate on the Alternative for Germany party when he tried to take a screenshot of the German constitution to prove a point about far-right politics.
He successfully took the screenshot showing the German constitution but unfortunately forgot to close other rather private tabs in his browser.
The five tabs reportedly showed porn videos featuring BDSM, with one tab showing the awkward label ‘German slut punished’.
Koppl, who is mayor of Quickborn, quickly deleted the screenshot after realising his mistake, yet of course no one was going to miss the opportunity to screengrab THAT.
According to the newspaper Bild, the mayor later explained that he was on holiday at the time in South Tyrol and had heard a group of young men talking about BDSM.
He told reporters he unfamiliar with the acronym and decided to google it.
As much as "I didn't know what BDSM stood for" sounds like a terrible excuse, I think I kind of want to believe him. While it shouldn't take a person FIVE different tabs to figure out the explanation of a pretty widely known style of pornography, the alternative is far more worrisome. If this screenshot wasn't a picture of misguided research then Mayor Koppl is mixing work and play, and I find that to be much more discouraging than any potential interest he has in whips, chains, ball-gags, and the like. Who the hell opens a porn site and then temporarily leaves that porn site without relieving themselves? In a story that features a Mayor taking a picture of five different fetish tabs, his decision to take a gander at the Constitution before he closed them out is what really concerns me. You can multitask while you do a lot of things, but masturbation should not be one of them. Rubbing one out out should be it's own process. It should be in and out. Bingo bango. Spic and span. Wax on, get off. Nothing else should be on your mind while you are cleaning the pipes. That 2-5 minutes period should hold it's own distinct place on the itinerary. You start doing other things mid-jerk and you end up showing the world that you like your women sexually submissive. That's why I hope and pray that this guy is just a complete buffoon that doesn't know how to browse the internet because as bad as that sounds, it's better than finding out that powerful people are making important decisions with their hands on their dicks.
The Fact That It's The Right Move Doesn't Make The Saints Decision To Release Marques Colston Hurt Any Less
The good news is that the Saints are releasing Marques Colston and he was -at times- painful to watch this past year. The bad news is that the Saints are releasing Marques Colston and it would be just as painful to see him wearing a jersey that's not black and gold next year. The NFL is a business, and cutting an overpaid, aging wide receiver that's been on a very noticeable decline is a no-brainer. Cutting the best wide receiver in franchise history, that has shattered both team and league records, and done so while remaining criminally underrated is a much harder decision. Marques Colston hasn't just been pass catcher for this team. He's been a leader. A silent leader that never caused a stir in the locker room and, up until a year ago, could be relied upon no matter the down and distance.
By releasing Marques Colston the Saints aren't just creating a spot for a younger, quicker, cheaper player to come in, but they are letting go of a integral part of their history. Along with Drew Brees, he represents everything that their franchise has been about since 2006. It was his emergence -as a upstart 7th round pick that very nearly went undrafted- that allowed the Saints offense to carry them to the NFC championship game when the city needed it the most. It was his sticky hands and undeniable body control that helped Drew Brees set a record for completions in the process of winning New Orleans it's first Super Bowl. The man they call 'Quiet Storm' always made the most noise without actually making a peep. While the rest of the great players at his position were screaming, yelling, dancing, and branding, Colston was going about his business, and that business was consistency. That business may have faltered over the last few years, and with the amount of drops, fumbles, and injuries it may be nearing bankruptcy, but that doesn't mean it was any less profitable when it mattered the most. This isn't goodbye, and it's far from good riddance, because champions walk together forever. See you later Marques, because that First-Class ticket to the Saints Hall Of Fame isn't going to stamp itself.
Here's Former NFL PLayer Austen Lane Giving You A Little Glimpse Into What Players Deal With At The Combine
And now we know why Austen Lane was drafted in the fifth round and jumped around to four different teams before retiring just four seasons into his career. Too much thinking, not enough doing. NFL teams don't care that you would kill someone, or how you would choose to do it. They don't care if you smoke a little weed. They don't care what form of undergarments you prefer. Hell, if Austen Lane could have gotten to the quarterback consistently they wouldn't even care if he was fucking his mother, never mind whether he found her attractive or not. It's not about the actual answer Austen, it's about the conviction with which you give it. Maybe you wouldn't have had to wait until Day 2 of the draft to hear your name called if you didn't respond to every combine question by looking around the room for hidden cameras. It was supposed to be a relatively serious process and you turned it into a piss poor episode of 'Punk'd'. If you get flustered by an absurd line of questioning then how can they expect you to maintain you composure when you are out on the field making split second decisions against the most gifted athletes in the entire world?
These guys that were interviewing you have jobs on the line as well. Jobs they could very well lose if they stake their reputation to a guy that takes 5 minutes to answer 'This or That' questions. Every second of silence is a sign of a lack of confidence. No one gets drafted higher because their mom is ugly or because boxers ride up on them too much. They get drafted higher because they don't think twice about saying it to the overly intrusive people sitting in front of them scribbling notes on a pad of paper.
Q: If you could kill someone and not get caught, would you?
A: If I said no would you even believe me?
Q: If you had to murder someone would you use a gun or a knife?
A: Gun. Cleanup from the knife takes too long. Wouldn't want to take time away from film study.
Q: Boxers or briefs?
A: What is this, a riddle? Trick question. Boxer briefs.
Q: I see you have dreads, you smoke weed don't you?
A: No (include eye roll).
Q: Do you think your mother is attractive?
A: No, she is beautiful.
Am I a first rounder yet, or do I need actual skill too, because that interview was...