USA Today- A McMuffin for dinner? It might happen, as McDonald's plans to test an all-day breakfast at some locations in the San Diego area starting next month.
The company said in a statement that the test is in response to customers who have said they'd like to eat breakfast foods outside the typical morning hours that they are served. The world's largest restaurant chain said the test will include a partial menu and feature some of McDonald's breakfast sandwiches and hash browns. The company didn't say which sandwiches would make the cut. Nope. Not on board. Not at all. This reminds me of the legalization of powdered alcohol. Everything is better in moderation. I can't have all of life's vices at my beckon call every second of the day. Is it convenient to have to choose between sleeping in on a Sunday morning and McDonald's breakfast?No, it sucks, but it's a necessary evil. We, as a society, especially as incredibly overweight society, need the shackles of a time restraint to keep us from going right off the deep end. The novelty of McDonald's breakfast is the beauty of McDonald's breakfast. Those times you have to something to do early on a hungover Saturday or Sunday it's a treat. Eating McDonald's breakfast before 10AM on a weekend makes you productive, doing so at 3PM makes you a fat ass. Why now Ronald? WHY NOW?!? If this was strictly a business decision it would have been done years ago. People have been fiending for McDonald's breakfast 24 hours a day for decades.You know what other products are available 24 hours a day? That's right, drugs. You know why people act like crackheads for their Mickey D's breakfast? Because it's probably nearly as addictive and equally as bad for you as crack. My yearly quota for those succulent hash browns is about 15. That's because when I happen to be out before 10AM with time on my hands I don't have the will power to say no. I need society to say no for me. I need my sausage biscuits to cease production as regularly scheduled. McGriddles in the PM should be as stigmatized as alcohol in the AM. I love McDonald's breakfast as much as the next person, but I can't have people running around sweating out hotcake syrup in the middle of the day. This country is already incapable of keeping itself alive and well, we don't need McDonald's facilitating the process anymore than they already have.
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NBC- Authorities say they found large quantities of cash and drugs while investigating a stabbing that involved two Rutgers University students. Police in New Brunswick, New Jersey, went to a Sicard Street home around 1:20 a.m. Saturday and found a 23-year-old city man bleeding profusely from the neck. A witness told the officers that 22-year-old city resident Kevin Huang had stabbed the man, and the officers quickly found Huang on the home's second floor, naked and pacing back and forth. The witness told police Huang and the victim had both taken LSD earlier in the evening, and at some point Huang became aggressive and removed his clothing inside an apartment. The witness left to get help when Huang allegedly began to destroy the apartment. When the witness returned, the victim was fleeing the apartment, bleeding from the neck. As officers secured Huang's apartment and took him into custody, they allegedly saw large quantities of drugs and paraphernalia. A subsequent search uncovered about 15 pounds of marijuana, approximately 500 bars of Xanax, a significant amount of cocaine, other unidentified pills and crystals and a significant amount of cash. I been in this game for years, it made me an animal, there's rules to this shit, I wrote me a manual...Say WHAT!?! It's the 10 crack commandments! Jesus Christ Kevin, number 4! Number 4! I know you heard this before, never get higggh on your own supply! Fucking Huang over here just blatantly ignoring drug dealer protocol. Taking a bunch of LSD and stabbing your friend in the neck when you have enough drugs in your apartment to sedate the entire state of Texas is like a Jehovah's witness fucking your wife and stealing a lawn ornament on the way. They goes in complete contrast to the guidelines put forth by the Lord Jesus and the rap genius. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can either do some PCP and have a naked knife fight with your buddy or slang a candy store's worth of illegal narcotics. Never both, or you run the risk of turning the act of counting your charges into a lesson in arithmetic. Hey, this isn't all that surprising. Rutgers is Big Ten now. We got to keep up with the obligations of a major state university. The basketball team hasn't done it's part so we haven't been able to turn the pleasant spring atmosphere of a college campus into a Israeli-esque war zone during March Madness. Next best thing is stabbing someone in the neck and being caught naked with enough drugs to burst the colons of 1,000 drug mules. No publicity is bad publicity. Got to toughen up the reputation bit. Way to do the university proud Kev. RRRRRR!!!! UUUUUU!!!!! What fun is doing some crazy pills without the threat of a 'Mortal Kombat' style attempted homicide? We should know the state of our youth by now. You think catching a mean buzz is enough to satisfy their adventurous side? Got to literally be able to simultaneously avoid an overdose and a ninja star at the same time to satisfy the thrill seekers.
Should I be speaking of this so cavalier when an innocent college kid got stabbed in the neck? Probably not, but if you are doing LSD with Asians you probably aren't that innocent. Not because I am in any way racist, but everyone knows the oriental population can't handle their substance abuse. They can't even drink a beer without turning 50 shades of crimson. Have to realize that a dose of hallucinogenics is going to end up with someone on life support. Yahoo Sports- The NFL announced Monday that it had fined the team $350,000, stripped away a draft pick and suspended team president Rich McKay from the league's powerful Competition Committee for at least three months after the Falcons conceded pumping artificial crowd noise into the Georgia Dome.
For owner Arthur Blank, the whole episode has been a huge embarrassment on top of firing long-time coach Mike Smith after last season and dealing with criticism over a pricey seat-licensing plan to help fund the team's new stadium. ''What took place was wrong and nowhere near the standards by which we run our business,'' Blank said in a statement. ''Anytime there are actions that compromise the integrity of the NFL or threaten the culture of our franchise, as this issue did, they will be dealt with swiftly and strongly.'' Ha! What a sad sac of losers. Hey Arthur, you can't even cheat right! Can't even make up for your lack of noise made on the field with natural noise off of it? Hey, Falcons fans, quiet down, you're on offense. Oh wait, that's right, your only fans are battery operated. They can't make the conscious decision to be quiet because radios don't make voluntary decisions. Think this punishment is too light? I agree, taking a draft pick from the Falcons is actually not at all to their detriment. That's just one less personnel mistake for them to make. Hell, the only good draft pick the Falcons have in the last ten years is Julio Jones, and they had to sacrifice the rest of that year's draft picks, and subsequently a viable defense, to get him. You might think that as a Saints fan I would be clamoring for a stiffer punishment, given the ridiculous amount of persecution they faced following BountyGate. Well, you would be sorely mistaken. You know why the Saints faced such harsh penalties? It's because the year they were accused of stretching the bounds of the rule book was the same year they won the SuperBowl. It's one thing to be penalized for successful gamesmanship. Giving the Falcons, a team that was so downright awful despite their transgressions, a harsher penalty would be bullying. It would be like giving a blind man no handicap on the golf course. It would be like racing an 8 year old without giving him a head start. It would be like calling the fat kid in dodgeball out for stepping over the line. Just let him continue to play, he's not going to end up hurting anyone but himself. They say if you aren't cheating, you aren't trying. Meanwhile, the Falcons can't even execute that. They are cheating and they aren't trying. The NFL giving them a metaphorical slap on the wrist is the same thing as a teacher taking away a visible cheat sheet and letting the student continue to take the test. Why have them face supplemental punishment when you know they are going to fail anyway. The Falcons stink. They will always stink. Their fans stink. They will always stink. I mean, pumping artificial noise into a Dome? That's just downright pathetic. May God have mercy on their soul. If they weren't so synonymous with failure I would think this news would be crippling to the reputation of the fan base and the organization. Nope. Business as usual. They have bigger things on their plate...like continuing to formulate the argument that Matt Ryan is somehow an elite quarterback.
Yahoo Sports- While reminiscing about his late co-star Paul Walker, who passed away tragically in a car crash in 2013, the singer-actor pointed to the moment the pair first truly clicked, while shooting 2003’s 2 Fast 2 Furious: “Well, the first moment me and him really broke the ice is when we found out we were sleeping with the same girl in Miami,” Tyrese said matter-of-factly in our interview, which you can watch above.
Gibson went on to explain the confusion the two encountered while driving around the city as each described the woman they were hooking up with in a moment that sounds straight out of an R. Kelly video. “He was casual about it,” the 36-year-old former model said. “He was just like, ‘Yeah I was just with her last night. I said, ‘I was with her last night!’” Well I'll be...If Tyrese isn't the damn darkest Eskimo brother that I have ever seen then my memory is playing more tricks than an episode of 'The Jimmy Kimmel Show'. In case you weren’t aware, there are a staggering amount of differences between the two genders. You can add this one to the list. If two women found out they were schlepping the same guy it would be like pulling the pin on the grenade. Well, if the grenade’s aftermath was passive aggression, mean spirited gossip, and backhanded compliments. Meanwhile as men, we generally bond over booze, sports, and women. What better way to get to know a person than by being inside the same woman mere hours apart. Remember the movie ‘The Breakup’ where the new boyfriend comes over and ends playing video games for hours on end with the old boyfriend? Guys are simple like that. If we happen to have fucked, or happen to be fucking, the same woman it’s because she’s probably looser than my velour suits in high school, not because the other person is necessarily a bad guy. Ever meet an ex’s new boyfriend and actually get along with him? It’s a weird phenomenon, but it makes sense. Women tend to have a type. Of course those who she chooses to let penetrate her would share some commonalities other than an upcoming doctor visit, the same genital ointment, and a week of stress and prayer.
I think the real story here is old Suzy Rottencrotch. Really screwed the pooch with this one, eh babe? Two future millionaires on the line and all she walks away with is the satisfaction of knowing that her box played matchmaker to a couple of celebrity BFF’s. That pussy is like Denzel Washington in ‘Remember The Titans’, against all odds it brings people together. It’s the all assimilating vagina! They say that if you have two quarterbacks you really have none. I guess that age old adage proves true when talking about fuck buddies as well. If you had two shots. Two opportunities. Would you capture them? Or let let them slip….into each others arms.
"I wannnnnnt THAT one!"
"Wait a minute, I think I just... FOX Sports- And though Nash now says his three-year stint with the Lakers was ''a failure and also a huge disappointment,'' he'll settle into life after basketball in Los Angeles with warm feelings for the teammates and fans who supported him in his unsuccessful quest. ''I came here with huge hopes and dreams, and was incredibly humbled and excited to come here and play for the Lakers,'' Nash said Tuesday at the team's training complex. Listen, I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Steve Nash’s stint with the Lakers was a success. I mean, for everyone else in the Western conference it probably was, but that’s neither here nor there. However, I think he’s being too hard on himself. His time as a Los Angeles Laker wasn’t a failure. What did he play 10 games over a two year span? Don’t you have to start something to successfully complete it? Saying his time in LA was a failure is like eating a double bacon cheeseburger 12 minutes into a two week diet. Dropping a prerequisite course for medical school isn’t considered failing at med school. You never had your foot in the door to begin with. You can’t fail as a professional baseball player if you spend your entire career in triple AAA. It’s not your fault you weren’t in the show. No one ever gave you an opportunity. Nash’s body never gave him a chance to fail, because it was too busy failing itself. In my eyes, you can’t truly fail something if you never gave it a legitimate attempt to begin with. Did I fail to become an NHL superstar? No, I gave up the chance to fail when I spent the last 12 years making every effort to help my liver fail. If we are going to start throwing around the F word my outlook on life better throw on a parachute, because it’s a long way down. If Steve Nash is considered a failure at basketball for being paid to not play basketball then my stock is depreciating fast. I’m not a doctor, lawyer, or rocket scientist, and Lord knows I don’t get paid to be. Does that mean I failed at all those things? Fuck, this blog just got depressing fast. I need a beer. Fuck you and your brittle ass bone structure Steve Nash. Making millions for sitting on your dick for two years isn’t a failure, it’s the American Dream. Mother Buys Her Handicapped Son A Varsity Letter And Is Outraged When The School Takes It From Him3/28/2015 Sports Illustrated- A special needs student was asked to remove the varsity letter from the jacket he wore to school, his mother told WKSN TV.
Michael Kelley, a student at Wichita East High School, has Down's Syndrome and autism. Though he is not a member of the varsity basketball team, Kelly partakes in extra-curricular special needs basketball, the station reported. Michael's mother, Jolinda, told the station that she purchased the letter and placed it on Michael's jacket after he was recognized for his participation. Ken Thiessen, the principal of the school, said that teachers informed parents that they prefer Kelley not wear the letter on his jacket. When the station asked Thiessen whether the school would consider giving special needs athletes a varsity letter, he said the school "decided that is not appropriate in our situation because it is not a varsity level competition.” Every now and then when you are blogging you run into a story that will undoubtedly make you look like an asshole. As many of you know, I really don’t need the help. So when I say that I don’t think someone that is physically disabled should be wearing a varsity letter I say it not to be offensive, but to leave my literary integrity without compromise. Let’s just say that as much as I love the sport of hockey, I don’t look back at my years playing in high school fondly. I don’t care to discuss the supposed pedigree of the brainless herb (no Brooks) that my teammates called “a coach”. Those 45 minutes drives to practice. Those times I kept my mouth shut when I felt I was being wrong. Those times when I worked my ass off for a group of guys I wasn’t particularly close with. Those were times where I had one thing on my mind…a varsity letter. One of the highest honors, if you want to call it that, that a high school athlete can receive is something that is to be earned, not bought. Is a stupid felt letter fairly meaningless in the grand scheme of things? Is it’s presence on a jacket that you will probably rot in your closet for the majority of your life fairly arbitrary? Yeah, but it’s the principle in the matter. You can’t buy Oscars, you can’t buy Grammy’s, you can’t buy championships. Hell, on a smaller scale you can’t even buy grades, I don’t care how many times you watch ‘Billy Madison’. Why should a varsity letter, that serves as an ‘award’, or an ‘achievement’ of sorts, be any different? Maybe I am giving myself too much credit, but I tend not to think of myself as a social pariah. I don’t think that one person, that was dealt a shitty hand in life, wearing a varsity letter in some way cheapens what it represents. My main concern is that it’s a slippery slope. If one parent is allowed to buy their disabled son a varsity letter, doesn’t that open the flood gates to all parents of the physically disabled? For argument’s sake, let’s say it does. Still, not the biggest deal in the world. You think that’s where it ends? You think some JV parent isn’t going to kick right through that line in the sand? You think that you are going to give a Varsity letter to all those that compete on the highest level, and to those that compete on the lowest level, and not face backlash from all those in the middle? You think that with the entitled nature of the youth of America that it’s that easy? Next thing you know you got 14 year olds running around popping their leather clad collar two days in freshman fencing. It’s anarchy. There is a hierarchy that needs to be maintained. If a varsity coach wants to give a mentally or physically handicapped child an honorary letter then he should have the right to. However, he absolutely shouldn’t be strong armed into doing so. Parents need to learn that the contents of their pocket book and a little bit of public outrage can’t buy what many high school athletes put a lot of time and effort into achieving. Even if it happens to be a stupid letter that will be virtually meaningless two years later. P.S. Maybe, just maybe, the school could have done a better job of handling this? Taking the jacket off the back of a potentially unstable child in the middle of the day probably isn’t going to make you too many friends when the story goes national. Just a thought. What do I know? Maybe I should just leave it the ‘experts’, after all, they have done such a good job in recent years. P.P.S. Since you hadddd to ask, yes. Yes, I feel like a terrible person as I add photos to the contents of the blog. Hollywood Reporter- Meanwhile, he’s still getting used to sharing his space with an Oscar, which he moved from atop a mini-fridge in the bathroom of his Los Angeles home (right next to the tub) to a place of distinction on a bookshelf. “It’s a lovely little statue,” says Simmons. “It’s still kind of surreal when I walk past it. It’s like, ‘There’s my Oscar.’ I don’t know it will ever become commonplace.” [USA Today] J.K. Simmons, a modern day Thomas Edison. Every one knows a man does his best thinking on the toilet. Something about getting all the literal and proverbial waste out of your system brings clarity to your brightest ideas. If it don’t make you two pounds lighter, it don’t make sense. A bathroom visit is like the elongated, non-self loathing version of the post-orgasm reality check. You go two for one and you might end up like Bradley Cooper in ‘Limitless’. Your cerebral potential couldn’t be anymore engaged if it was curtain shopping on a Saturday afternoon. I think it’s fair to say that a man’s intelligence is directly correlated to his time on the crapper. The people who invented the internet? Probably led the league in TPD (time per dump). Steve Jobs? Spent more time in the bathroom than a Taco Bell addict with irritable bowl syndrome. If society was as progressive as many people want to believe we would be giving interviews on toilets. Fuck a cubicle. Give me a stall and a few minutes and I’ll turn water to wine. Never mind a spreadsheet, those things would basically be formulating themselves. That’s the problem with office life. People are taught to minimize their time in the bathroom and thus they are minimizing company profit. What better way to get something accomplished than to place your awards in the place where you do your best work? Did J.K. Simmons just completely eliminate the need for an in home office? A room with a mini fridge, all the motivation you could ask for, and a toilet seat? That’s spacial efficiency at it’s finest. He’s probably churning out subplots by the dozen. If they could find a way to stop my legs from going numb I would probably have at least two bathrooms full of Pultizers by now. Nothing satisfies a man more than a nice long shit, an original thought, a cold beer and a little bit of pride in his achievements. Every single one of those things promotes success. I need a bathroom office, and I needed it yesterday.
Sports Illustrated- In a move to potentially capitalize on Kentucky-mania as the Wildcats obliterated Sweet 16 opponent West Virginia in the first half, Sportsbook opened Kentucky as 10.5-point favorites over Notre Dame in Saturday's Elite Eight round.
The only unusual thing about it? Kentucky hadn't officially won yet. In fact, Sportsbook posted the line as West Virginia was just coming out of halftime. Hey West Virginia, can I come in? Are you feeling okay? Can I get you something? Alright, well, get well soon. I am just going to slide this rope, a couple razor blades, and a full bottle of prescription pills under the door in case you need them. Talk about the worst case scenario. In retrospect, maybe ball tapping Goliath before engaging him in athletic competition wasn’t the wisest of choices. I would rather be a 16th seeded afterthought than West Virginia today. Hell, I would rather have been in the NIT than have opened my mouth to talk shit and had Caliper and the gang face fuck my esophagus.
Some perspective? If Kentucky didn’t take a single shot in the second half they would have won by 5. In a tournament that encourages the unthinkable, the possible became the impossible in a matter of minutes. Kentucky basketball, a line maker’s best friend. Look who gets to hit the bar early on a Thursday night! Parity and point swings be damned, That may have been the first NCAA tournament game in awhile that was over that quickly after it started. Only way for a Mountaineer fan to enjoy that game was to use his tears as lube. Even the TV’s in Vegas probably turned the channel on that one. They should have had the Notre Dame team on hand. Could have kicked West Virginia off the court after the first 5 minutes and played the Elite 8 matchup instead of wasting a perfectly good prime time TV slot.
That was eerily reminiscent of a fight with a brother ten years your junior. I’m surprised Kentucky hasn’t received backlash from anti-bullying organizations. I guess they were too busy on their phones placing best for the next round. That was as emasculating as college basketball can get. Kentucky basically stomped on the bug on the first or second possession and spent the rest of the game watching it squirm around on it’s back as it slowly died. I’m not a religious man, and I LOATHE West Virginia, but sweet Lord, keep them in your prayers.
Live look at Daxter Miles Jr...... 90,000 In England Sign Petition To Have Kanye West Removed From Glastonbury Music Festival Lineup3/27/2015 CBS- Kanye West was announced earlier this week as one of the headliners at this summer's Glastonbury music festival, but some music fans aren't happy about it. One festival-goer started a petition calling on organizers to "prevent this musical injustice" by canceling the rapper's performance. "Kanye West is an insult to music fans all over the world," Neil Lonsdale wrote in the Change.org petition. "We spend hundreds of pounds to attend glasto, and by doing so, expect a certain level of entertainment. Kanye has been very outspoken on his views on music....he should listen to his own advice and pass his headline slot on to someone deserving!" In an interview with NME.com, Lonsdale -- an education worker and self-described "rock kid" from Norfolk, England -- called it an "outrage" that West got the headliner slot over a rock band: "Two years ago we had The Rolling Stones playing the Saturday night, and this year we get Kanye West?" And somewhere in a deep dark room, a smile crept across the face of Kanye West. Kanye should just walk around with a Slim Shady-esque public service announcement as his entry music into any room, "Kanye West does not give a FUCK what you think". In a lot of ways he reminds me of Kobe Bryant's 'Black Mamba' persona. Doesn't care who dislikes him. He is going to say whatever he wants. He is going to do whatever he wants. And he knows he will be successful. Would someone that cared about public perception marry and impregnate a woman that got famous from ingesting Ray J's elephant trunk? Would a person with any fucks to give walk on stage TWICE and interrupt an award presentation? Would a person that had other's interests in mind stop his concert to go on a 30 minute rant about the fashion industry? That's what people don't understand. No publicity is bad publicity. Kanye's fans aren't the only reason he is a household name. As Joe Budden would say,"got a couple haters, still trying to acquire more". Every time you tweet the name 'Kanye' you build his brand. For every 90,000 that hate him there are 100,000 that still buy his albums. Am I saying I like Kanye West as a person? Hell no. I'm closer to despising him as a person. That goes for most wealthy people. The lifestyles of the rich and famous lend themselves to a disconnection from reality. I hate to break it to you, but most people that have an endless stream of money are dicks. That actor you like? He's ACTING. Do you really care about the world views of your favorite athlete as long as he performs when it matters most? Granted, Kanye does a terrible job of straddling that line. He practically springboards over it with middle fingers in the air. He's a raving lunatic. However, I am genuinely concerned for the future of our children if there are 90,000 people out there that take what Kanye says at face value. In my estimation, if you take a person that performs in a diamond encrusted mask seriously you are even crazier than he is. "My beef is not with the genre. My beef is with the stage and the fact it's a headline slot," he said, adding that West does not "represent anything. His songs are lyrically appalling," he "totally disrespected Beck" at the Grammy Awards in February and "his [BRIT Awards] performance was just threatening."
The above quote is the problem with the Kanye haters. Simply can't separate the art from the person. This character followed up "his songs are lyrically appalling" with "he totally disrespected Beck". Music festival manages to pull Kanye West as a headliner and all these wankers can talk about is Beck's hurt butt. How about you get your thoughts in order before you start talking to the media bud? What does disrespecting Beck have to do with his music? His music is appalling? Do we need to go through the list of people that Kanye has worked with musically? John Mayer, Elton John, Paul McCartney, Daft Punk, John Legend. Literally anyone and everyone that is relevant in hip hop. Ya know, just to name a few. Pretty impressive for someone that "doesn't represent anything". I can assure you that they didn't choose to collaborate with him because of his personality. The guy is a musical genius. You don't have to like his music, but you can damn sure respect it. "Glastonbury needs upbeat major artists. Glastonbury is an institution. It is expected that it has the biggest names," Lonsdale argued. "The biggest performers. Kanye does not represent that." Is this guy talking about the same Kanye West? Does it count as a lie if it is to yourself? Sports Illustrated- "Two weeks ago I'm trying to get to a roller hockey game that my grandson is playing in, so Marc Ross [the Giants' director of college scouting] had showed me how to talk to this phone," Coughlin said. "I don't trust the lady in GPS, I don't trust her, because they don't send you the right way. I hit the button and I go 'Park Ridge, New Jersey.' And she comes back on, she's giving me directions. So now I figure out where I am. I hit the thing and I said, 'Thank you very much, I know exactly where I am now.' And she comes back and says, 'You don't have to thank me.' I swear to God that's what she said. And then I couldn't get her to shut up. Every turn. 'Take a right here.' I know where I am. I know where I am. I'm a block away from my house and she's telling me where to go. I said, 'I know where I'm going.' " So what you are saying is that Tom Coughlin is the older, cryptic, half dead version of my father? Hell, he is probably your father too. At the very least your grandfather. I remember my Dad's first introduction to the GPS. I thought he was going to break a bottle over it's head and go bare knuckles with it. I have never seen a person so irrationally mad at something that was trying to make his life easier. It was like the adult version of when your parents are trying to help you with your homework and you scream "I can do it myself!". To this day he treats his two month old iPhone like it's a Nokia. Only phone calls and texts that feature nouns and verbs. I swear talking to him through text message is like communicating with a foreign exchange student. . And you know what? It's not his fault. Old people can't do technology. It's just not a language they speak. Kids grow up these days learning sign language. Try to speak to me with your hands and I'll look at you just like Tom Coughlin looks at an iPad. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when they told Coughlin they were transitioning to iPads to diagram plays on the sideline. Guess whose job just got more intricate? That's right, literally every other member of the coaching staff. Coach Coughlin would rather chisel his plays in to slabs of granite than even considering squinting at an unnecessary monitor. In all likelihood I am only going to say this once in my life so listen up. I can actually relate to Tom Coughlin here. Siri SUCKS. The bitch just isn't dependable. She's the friend that is chronically wrong yet always has an opinion. The type of friend who you are more likely to do the complete opposite of what they say than to comply wit their requests. Siri makes JR Smith's shooting percentage look commendable. She is about as efficient as a seeing eye dog with Alzheimers. If Siri could call the cops on it's 'owner', I would probably be locked up for domestic abuse. Literally every other time I talk to her I am cursing her out. Approximately 39.8% of the times I have said 'cunt' in my life it was to the imaginary person living in my data plan. If Siri was a real person I would knock her unconscious in an Atlantic City elevator and give the body to Robert Durst. I can't relate to Tom's struggle with modern day innovations, but if he wants to throw a couple back and rant about Siri I'm game. FOX- A former Cardinals player says he was punched at a Fenton gas station after a man yelled racial slurs and told him to, “Go back to Ferguson.” Outfielder Curt Ford tells the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that he is disgusted. He is thinking of moving away from the St. Louis area after the racially motivated attack.
The attack occurred at the Petro Mart in the 600 block of Gravois Bluffs in Fenton. The suspect, James Street, 37, can be seen in the surveillance video according to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch. Don't black people have enough stereotypes to deal with? If you absolutely have to be racist can't you at least give them the homeland? Don't get me wrong, it's incredibly discriminatory to tell a black person to go back to Africa, but at least it has some historical significance. In a way telling a person to "go back to Ferguson" is far more racist. It basically implies a couple of things. That every black person on Earth originates from Ferguson, and that every black person that happens to be in Missouri at any given time was looting stores and rioting in the wake of the Michael Brown decision. Assuming that every black person is from a small, podunk town in the middle of Missouri may be the most insulting thing I have ever heard. If it were me I would rather you assume I was running around barefoot in a third world country. I think this is just an indictment middle America. You think the people that were picketing in New York or Los Angeles are still making a stink about Ferguson? Hell no, that may as well have happened in the 20th century. Get a hobby St. Louis, seriously. Can't keep holding on to one homicide that happened 6 months ago. Stay relevant before we demote you to Virginia status. Kind of sucks for the town of Ferguson, no? Other than Columbine, has a hole in the wall town ever been so negatively characterized by a traumatic event? I feel like if that's where you are from you just have to lie when people ask you. Accuracy be damned, that question raises far more questions than it's worth. If there is one thing that I know about St. Louis is that it's a huge baseball town. Pretty much pride themselves on being one of the classiest fanbases in professional sports. If there is a demographic of African Americans that should be safe from prejudice it's those that have graced the baseball diamond in the "Show Me state". Can't have ex-ball players going around fearing for their safety just because their car is on E. Tighten up Card's fans. You have a reputation to uphold. Pretty amazing how the polarizing death of a black teen has become another form of ammunition against African Americans in the ongoing race war. Go figure. P.S. Can't believe this is the guy. He looks so open minded...
Hey, there's no publicity like pooplicity. He almost fooled me for a second. Almost had me thinking that this was good for his reputation. I was almost like "Well I didn't know who Robert Lane Jr. was before and now I do, maybe he's right". Then I realized that I almost fell for a grown man telling me that shitting yourself is a good thing. Yeah bro, and if peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. This wasn't some embarrassing nickname that you embraced and thus took the negative connotation out of it. This was a young adult literally having the shit beat out of him.
Here's why you didn't get a lot of grief Robert. Because this isn't one of those situations where people laugh with you, they laugh at you. They may have complimented you on your performance to your face, but they had poop on the mind. They point and laugh when you walk out of the room. They see your name and giggle behind your back. People don't forget. Sure they may be a little foggy about the time you fumbled or that time you threw up at a party. But going full blown toddler? You'll never wash that stink off, no matter how many times you put it through the spin cycle.
P.S. I respect his attitude towards it. It's definitely not a good thing for him, but if you can't accept your accidents than they will literally eat you alive.
DailyMail- Perrie Edwards has emerged for the first time since her fiancé Zayn Malik dramatically quit One Direction.
Grinning from ear-to-ear, the Little Mix star left the London house she shares with her boyfriend with her engagement ring still prominently displayed on her finger. Perrie, 21, has yet to comment on the matter of her partner's huge career decision, but her smile showed off exactly how she felt, despite the fact fans of the boy band on Twitter had labelled her 'the Yoko Ono of 1D' after blaming his departure. Zayn, 22, had returned from Thailand where the band had been touring, arriving at 5am on Friday to talk to the blonde star in the wake of a picture being revealed of him getting cosy with another woman. Almost immediately, he denied that there was anything going on between him and the blonde, who was later identified as Essex girl Lauren Richardson. His quick jetting across the world on Thursday evening to have crisis talks with his long-term partner threw their relationship into the spotlight, and there were doubts over the state of their union. Zayn shocked fans the world over when he announced on Wednesday that he was leaving One Direction after five years as part of the world's biggest boyband. Okay now we are getting somewhere. You almost had me Zayn. I almost respected your decision to get out of the limelight. However, this makes way more sense than "I can't stand being rich, famous, and popular". That's the politically correct answer. The actual answer is "I hate that I have to argue with my fiancé every day because every time I cheat on her it is broadcast to a national audience". This is the worst diagnosis of pussy whipped I have ever seen. Listen, we have all been there. Blinded by puppy love. It's brought the strongest of men to their knees. Pussy is the cause of nearly every detrimental decision made by a man ever. Don't bite the apple Zayn! Pandora opened up her box and Zayn went balls deep without hesitation. Dude dove head first off the gravy train in order to not leave his girl behind. That's pretty admiral for the end of a romantic comedy, not so much as a real life decision. That's real smart dude, why don't you chop down the money tree in your backyard so your future wife has a place to sunbathe while your at it. Does the 21 year old have any guidance is his life? Everyone has the friend that stayed with their girlfriend in college. Raises hand. Guilty as charged. Biggest mistake ever. From the drunkest of college student to the richest of pop star, those relationships have a 0% success rate. Someone call Rory McIlroy, this kid needs a life coach. Love may conquer a lot, but it doesn't conquer all. It might conquer one or two strange pieces of ass. Might even conquer 3-5. However, I'll be damned if it conquers youth, millions of dollars, and the conquest of any and every 18-23 year old female of your choosing. This may be the biggest mistake anyone has ever made in the history of decisions. This is worse than Robert Durst leaving his mic on while he goes to the bathroom. It's worse than Len Bias choosing the nose candy. Worse than Chris Webber losing track of timeouts. Sacrificing everything at 21 to get married? Getting married at 21 is a mistake for the most average of Joes. Sacrificing all the money, women, and fun for one vagina for the rest of your life? Real smart Zayn. So what happens first? How fast does this kid end up with a murder charge or a coke habit? Divorce is a forgone conclusion. I give this relationship two weeks before full blown resentment. Only way this relationship works is if this chick doesn't have a single complaint or opinion for the rest of her life. Life is about compromise. Zayn gave up as close to everything as you possibly can. I think it's only fair that Ms. Edwards give up a say in everything forever. Happy wife happy life my ass. This guy just flushed his life down the toilet. If there is going to be someone that will be rehashing past decisions and arguments in this relationship for once it won't be the female. Only one direction this relationship is trending. Ready the divorce papers. Link To "Debate" Well, they say that the people you choose to associate with say a lot of about you. Looks like that's no truer than in this case right here. You know when you hang around someone a lot and start to take on their mannerisms? Talk like them, maybe take up the same hobbies as them? That's exactly what TSN did here. TSN and ESPN are of the same family of networks but it might be time to cut back on the family gatherings. You hang around stupid long enough and you might adopt some of it's characteristics. This question is so damn unbearable baseless that it makes every dumbass LeBron James and Johnny Manziel talking point look stimulating. Make better choices TSN. Choose better company. Hockey is a more tight nit community than most of the other professional sports. It's a community that may have to excommunicate Ray Ferraro. Ray Ferraro saying that there is "no wrong answer" is the biggest dive I have ever seen taken and I currently watch the NBA. Did I just watch a man get castrated on national television? It's one thing to be a company man. It's a whole different thing to engage in a conversation that perpetuates the illegitimacy of the sport you made your livelihood. Even entertaining the thought that Steve Nash, a guy that didn't even appear in a single NBA finals, is on par with a man that carries the nickname "The Great One" is a complete disservice to hockey. Sure, Nash gets a ratings boost for being white and Canadian and succeeding in the NBA, but he would need a 'Wonka-Vator' to match the the significance that Wayne Gretzky has on Canadian athletics. If there is a sport that judges it's superstars primarily on championship pedigree it's basketball, and rightfully so. Steve Nash hasn't even appeared on the biggest stage of his sport. Not a single time. Nash isn't in the top 30 of NBA players of all time. He isn't even the best white point guard of all time. Wayne Gretzky is widely accepted as the best hockey player ever. Period. We can discuss stats. We can discuss championships. We can discuss importance to the sport. Anyway you slice it, Steve Nash gets posterized by the best. Although that's nothing new... I can't believe I even wasted time formulating an answer, thus giving even the slightest of validity to the question.
Quick! Someone give Sean Payton an ice pack or a cold shower! He's fitting to poke an eye out! Hey, I expect no less from my head coach. A head football coach is a very involved job, you have to be physically and mentally invested in every intricacy of the game. No possible way to be more invested than to be ready to penetrate the game or it's constituents at a moment's notice. Maybe this is something we just haven't noticed before. Maybe he's been rocking a public stiffy since he arrived in New Orleans. I wouldn't be surprised. He's always been one of the most excitable coaches in the league. This can't be a rare occurrence, look at that confidence. Let that freak flag literally and figuratively fly Sean! Hands on hips, dress pants on tilt, 24 karat smile across his face, just ready to thrust himself right into the thick of the offseason.
Seriously though, the fact that media types and coaches alike have questioned the Saints and their head coach after deciding to trade big time play maker Jimmy Graham has got to have Payton chomping at the bit. You don't underestimate someone as prideful as Sean Payton. Nothing gets him more riled up than a blossoming seed of doubt. Teams potentially overlooking the Saints have Sean Payton's pants tighter than Andy Reid in a pair of skinny jeans. He looks like a wide eyed teenager ready to take on prom night. Looks like a busy offseason has Payton feeling younger. With 9 draft picks heading in to draft day that's an attitude that I like to see. Hopefully no one shows him a CJ Spiller highlight video anytime soon, the guy might blow his pants clean off. They say it's for the love of the game, and Sean Payton is a zipper away from making love to the game. You don't get in the way of a man that committed to the cause. SuperBowl, here we come!!! If this isn't an 'O face' I don't know what is. Vinegar strokes like you heard about. Clean up, Aisle Lorbardi. Daily Mail- A young woman who has battled anorexia for seven long years has been left 'sickened' after photos she recently shared on Reddit to chart her journey back to health were republished by another website, without her permission, having been flipped around and billed as an 'amazing weight loss transformation'. Anne Marie Sengillo, 27, from Cincinnati, Ohio, learned that her photos had been published by The Chive - an entertainment site which included her photos in a slideshow featuring 27 other weight loss stories - after a concerned Reddit user sent the online piece to her. 'For them to put my disordered weight as "ideal" was a punch to the stomach for me,' Anne Marie, who at her lightest weighed just 70lbs, tells Daily Mail Online. 'I do not want to be seen as in inspiration for a disorder that nearly killed me.' Recovery: You're doing it wrong.
Hey Anne Marie, ever heard the phrase "everything in moderation"? Yeah, it's ridiculous that you were exercising 4-5 hours a day and basically eating like a bird, but that doesn't mean that the only alternative is lighting your gym membership on fire and supersizing every meal. Talk about putting your mind to a desired goal. It's either 0 or 100 with this one. Healthy diet and reasonable amount of physical activity be damned. Are we really going to kill the Chive for this one? Maybe they hire the dyslexic? If we are going to be real about it, that is a far more respectable disorder than anorexia. Probably not nearly as healthy for you, but I hardly consider an inability to perceive and maintain a proper body image a 'disorder'. Hey, in the Chive's defense, skinny is generally good, fat is generally bad. Who would guess that the person in the first picture is recovering from anything other than half price appetizers or a food pregnancy? Probably just thought you were operating your 'picstitch' app after one too many cocktails. I mean, that's the ONLY reason someone should post a picture like that online. If you are going to use photos to recount your struggles maybe don't post a picture that makes it look like the struggle is still very, very real. Jesus, she looks like the beginning stages of the StayPuft marshmallow man. Is that female underboob? In an 'after' picture? Sounds like you were setting Chive up to fail. "Yay, look at my progress. I no longer look like an Ethiopian child. Look how quickly I went from deathly skinny to abhorrently chunky." Listen sweetheart. I am glad you are no longer half dead, but in terms of being aesthetically pleasing, this was a lateral move. Welcome to 2015. You post something on the internet you are subject to criticism. Sorry everyone in the deep dark depths of the internet doesn't have a moral compass. Sure, that doesn't give the Chive the right to PUBLISH your disease as a positive, but it doesn't not. You got girls out there snapping 100 different selfies to capture the right amount of makeup, under the right light, at the most complimentary angle, while this chick just intentionally posts pictures that are lumpier than year old milk. To each their own I guess. We all have to learn our limits in terms of disclosure. Some people realize when they don't get the desired amount of 'likes' on instagram, while some learn when a satire site trivializes their life long battle with the 'evils' of food. NY Daily News- The newly crowned Miss Universe Japan — who was born and raised in Nagasaki and speaks fluent Japanese — isn’t Japanese enough, some critics say. Ariana Miyamoto has had to defend her heritage and her crown after some pointed out she is a “hafu,” a term for half-Japanese people. The 20-year-old beauty queen’s mom is Japanese and her dad is African-American. “She has too much black blood in her to be Japanese,” one borderline racist critic posted online, according to Japan’s RocketNews24. “Even though she’s Miss Universe Japan, her face is foreign no matter how you look at it!” another wrote on Twitter, according to a translation by the Washington Post. And they never had a chance... I don't want to say these Japanese people have a legitimate gripe, but these Japanese people have a legitimate gripe. I'm not saying that Ariana shouldn't be allowed to enter into the Japanese Miss Universe contest. She should just expect backlash when she wins fair and square. Here's the thing, a prototypical looking Japanese women isn't winning any kind of beauty pageant whose entry isn't predicated upon having a Japanese background. That's not a slight to Asian women, it's just that they aren't your quintessential beauty queen. I don't make the rules. I have no problem catching the yellow fever once and awhile. I blame Tyra Banks and 'America's Next Top Model' for their cultural expectations. However, due to these societal norms, the only chance that a woman of oriental descent is going to win a contest based on aesthetics is when they enter the Japanese Miss Universe. So when a half black, half Japanese woman, looking every bit 100% little skinned black, comes marching in to take their crown don't expect them to take it lightly. This is like Iggy Azalea winning a hip hop award. It's like the slightly overweight kid that shows up to fat camp and starts destroying all the gluttonous bastards in sports and garnering all the attention of their grossly overweight women. It's not that these people shouldn't be allowed to be eligible, it's that they are stealing what some demographics of society hold closest to them. It may not be wrong that she won, but it certainly doesn't feel right. Ariana identifying herself as Japanese is like Tiger Woods indentifying himself as Asian. It's like Barack Obama identifying himself as a white man. Let's put it this way. If Dave Chappelle threw another racial draft this girl is going to the blacks second round at the latest. If the bi-racial contingent want to impinge upon primarily white sports and politics they can have at it, just don't encroach on the Japs and their beauty contests. Between that, ping pong and mathletics, that's all they have. P.S. I think we found out what grinds the gears of the oriental population. Some white people get racist when you interfere in 'their' politics. Some black people get racist when you interfere in their culture. Apparently some Asian people get racist when you interfere in their beauty pageants. Saying "she has too much black blood in her" is some whips and D'jango in chains type shit. Sounds like it came straight from the mouth of a slave owner. Didn't realize the world had such a problem with yellow on black hate. Maybe this will resolve things....
Cleveland.com- When it came to James, who recruited Love to agree to a trade to Cleveland last summer but has publicly jabbed him since they became teammates, Love told Mike & Mike that his relationship James is "fine."
"You know, we're not best friends, we're not hanging out every day, but we see each other every day, whether we're at the practice facility, whether we're on the road or going to a game," Love said. "I think our relationship is also evolving. I could say the same with each and every coach, coach Blatt, and each and every player on the team. But, that's part of the NBA." Oh, it's fine, huh? Yeah, I've heard that before. Every male that endured any semblance of a relationship with a female has heard that one before. Kevin Love's relationship with LeBron James is fine in the same way that it's fine when you leave the toilet seat up. It's fine in the same way it's fine when you get caught looking at your ex's Facebook page. It's fine in the same way that it's fine when you come home late without calling smelling like a brewery. My last "fine" relationship was over before I even finished saying the word. Fine never means fine when discussing relationships Kevin. You're better than that. You talk to the media on a daily basis, can I get a better word choice? I straight up giggled at "our relationship is also evolving". That's not how relationships work Kev. They start out euphoric. You are still supposed to be in the honeymoon phase, not growing to like each other. This isn't a romantic comedy. You guys are still supposed to be ass patting and thigh slapping. If your relationship is even a "relationship" at all LeBron is supposed to tagging you in instagram posts on a bi-weekly basis. You are supposed to be the 'man crush monday', not the 'forgot about that fool friday'.
Kevin Love said "we're not best friends, but we see each other every other day" like that's not a requirement. How often would you guys hang out if you weren't contractually obligated to do so? if I know anything about successful relationships I know that there isn't supposed to be an unparalleled amount of resentment within the first 6 months. I don't think anyone resents anyone more than Kevin Love resents LeBron James. The guy basically risked his career and his reputation as one of the leagues best power forwards to be demoted to a taller, better looking version of Mike Miller.
There are a lot of people that stay in bad relationships because they are too cowardly to break it off. Generally those people require a better reason than "it's just not working". I am pretty sure Kevin Love's impending free agency counts as a better reason. He can spare me with the politically correct answers, there is no way Kevin Love is going to be a Cleveland Cavalier next year. This partnership is not fine, no matter how well the Cavs are playing. Sports Illustrated- Brook Lopez is going to be in the happiest place on Earth in the off-season because he is building a home in Disney World. Lopez told the New York Daily News he first started thinking about moving to the massive theme park a few years ago when it first opened the Golden Oak development, allowing people to live on the property for the first time. My older brother Chris sent me a link when the property development was first announced three or four years ago now,” Lopez said. “We joked about doing it. As it got more real and real, I just decided I wanted to do it.” There is not a person on the planet that belongs in a certain place on Earth more than Brook Lopez belongs in Disney World. Brook Lopez is Disney World, Disney World is Brook Lopez. He encapsulates everything that Walt Disney had in mind when he first started the brand. Just look at how irrationally happy Brook is at all times. When you spend your days walking around Brooklyn that starts to become suspicious. When you live in "The Happiest Place on Earth" it's just consider status quo. I swear Brook Lopez is the kind of person that could go on the 'It's a Small World' or 'Dumbo' rides 100 times over and be just as giddy the first time as the last. He's literally the biggest child on Earth. I don't envy the person that has to hold Brook's leash when they open the park gates. Is there a normal human being that embodies a Disney character more than Lopez? If he got a caricature done it would just look like a self portrait. He could throw on a 'Goofy' head right now and wander around the park and people would be none the wiser. The dopey voice. The awkward strut. I'm surprised he didn't do the voiceover for 'The Goofy Movie'. You know when they strap up NBA players in those body motion censors to record their movements for video games. I am shocked they didn't do that to Lopez to create a life like walk for Goofy's animation. Brook Lopez sounds like he was born with his head in clouds. He sounds like he just got done hot boxing a surf shack at all times, but somehow you would never get the impression he touched a mind altering substance in his life. Walt would be so proud. I swear if there was a 7 foot Disney character that was injury prone, soft in the paint, and somehow, beyond all logical reasoning, had a wealth of athletic talent, Brook Lopez would be the spokesperson for the entire company. Mickey better watch his back Come on Bruins fans, be better. They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. While a certain amount of that is outdated rhetoric, you should at least know what your enemies look like. That way they don't walk right up to your face in the middle of the day and metaphorically smack you upside the head in the form of a viral video. I mean, Boston fans are supposed to be some of the most die hard fans in sports, correct? And they couldn't recognize some weaselly looking dude that they watched play in seven straight games last May?
Say they weren't expecting to run into an NHL player on the streets of Boston in a McDonald's jacket. That's fair, they get a pass for that. However, it's got to click once the burger is named the 'Max 67'. The guy has one of the most distinct faces, names, and numbers in the sport of hockey. If that trifecta wasn't enough of a kick in the dick to get your attention you may want to retire your Bruins jersey. If Henrik Lundqvist offered me a steak dinner called the 'Hank 30' I would spit on it like the guy in 'Waiting' and spike it on his designer shoe. If Dan Girardi handed me a burger called the 'Dan 5' I would hand it back to him and assume he just turned it over by accident. If Marc Staal handed me a hot dog I would smash it right into his good eye. Got to know when you are getting played by someone you despise. Here's the thing. We live in the viral age. I don't think McDonald's needs to be handing out free burgers outside their restaurant. They have a pretty solid business plan that has been working for decades. So unless you are getting free food from a new, relatively unknown restaurant it's best to assume you are going to end up on the internet looking like an idiot. General rules of thumb; If someone says "say these exact words" it's probably a safe bet that you don't know what you are saying or who it references. Plus, just avoid cameras on the street at all costs. 99% of the time the result is not going to be in your favor. |
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