Okay, it was funny at first, but I think I have had enough. I took the "is Eddie Lacy fat, is he not fat?" rollercoaster for a ride, and it was a good time. Not something I need to do again, but a good time. I guess I am happy that he has gotten himself in shape, but even typing that sentence about a professional athlete makes my blood boil. His job is to stay in shape. From early February to late July the ONLY thing Eddie Lacy has to do is stay in shape. That would be like shaking someone's hand and patting them on the ass every time they finished a spreadsheet at their office job. We don't go out of our way to praise every single person that's completing menial tasks at blue collar jobs, do we? This isn't Carol in accounting that's balancing a 9-5, two kid's schedules, and still managed to find enough time to hit the elliptical and work off her second pregnancy chin. It's an NFL RUNNING BACK. When you devote your life to getting paid millions to play a sport then you are supposed to give up the right to being told "you look great!". I can't do this anymore. I can't read anymore encouraging comments about the state of his health. Quite frankly, it makes me sick. Those compliments are reserved for people like me who accidentally wandered into a gym after packing on 30 pounds of water (beer) weight in college. They are reserved for your fat friend that finally got off the couch, ran (walked) a mile, and reminded the world that he does - in fact - have a jawline. They aren't for an athlete with an egg roll addiction.
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Grayson Allen Blew Off A Hug From Oregon's Dillon Brooks, And - For Once - I Don't Blame Him3/25/2016
You see this mess you have gotten me into Dillon? I have to actually write a fucking blog that's sympathetic towards Grayson Allen, and it's all because you had to knock down a completely unnecessary, absolutely ludicrous 30 foot three pointer while no one was guarding you with the game already well in doubt. Now, don't let the fact that I am about to defend Grayson Allen's spitefulness fool you. I still LOVED watching Dillon Brooks take that shot and I was absolutely thrilled when it went in. That doesn't mean that this was the right decision...
You can't be the type of guy that rubs literally ALL the salt in the wound of the opponent, and then try to play the "classy winner" role one minute later. That's pretty much why every single late touchdown in a complete blowout turns a coach's midfield handshake into a coach's midfield bickering contest. Teams don't like to be embarrassed, and that goes ten-fold for a prissy, holier than thou school like Duke. Yes, Grayson Allen is a total dickhead and I have my doubts about whether or not he would have reciprocated the hug anyway, but the fact is that Dillon Brooks gave him an respectable out by making the most "fuck you" three pointer of all time. That shot was the equivalent of blatantly tripping someone mid-court (sound familiar) and then trying to help them up from their fall. It's insincere, disingenuous, and it's going to get you a stern talking to from Coach K...
NJ.com- Chris Ash game-planned for Rutgers in each of the past three seasons as an opposing defensive coordinator. And each time Ash put on Rutgers' game film, he had the same complaint that has been echoed by fans since the program introduced a new uniform style in 2012: He couldn't read the numbers.
"It was terrible," Ash said in an interview with NJ Advance Media on Tuesday. "The times I coached against Rutgers, that was like the No. 1 thing: When you're trying to identify personnel coming in the game and you can't see the damn numbers." "I just look at: Does Ohio State have 15 uniforms? No. Does Alabama? No. Does Michigan? No. Does USC? No," Ash said. "You look at some of the traditional best football programs around the country and they have an identifiable, clean, first-class look and that's what I want us to have." "I think there were some conversations already in the works about some new uniforms," Ash said. "When I got here I was fortunate to get in on the front end of it and make changes with uniforms and helmets. I'm a traditionalist. I'm not a guy that likes 15 different uniforms and 15 different helmets. I want a look that's classy, that's identifiable, that people really think looks sharp. We're going to hopefully have that type of look." I know, I know Rutgers fans. I fell quickly in love with the (relatively) new jerseys the Scarlet Knights have been wearing. I thought the 45 different color combinations were something that fit in perfectly with the landscape of college football. However, what I didn't realize was that it was costing us football games. It's cool to think about becoming the Oregon of the East until you remember that the Oregon of the West has come up short of winning a National Championship time and time again. I have no choice but to believe their failures have nothing to do with running a cutesy spread offense that falters against the nation's best defenses, and everything to do with their obsession with how they look. If Chris Ash has taught me anything since his arrival it's that you can't create a traditionalist culture without concerning yourself with the cosmetic. The phrase "Look Good. Feel Good. Play Good" doesn't make one single mention of being great, and that's what this new era of Rutgers football is geared towards. If that means we have to get back to wearing jerseys that are clean, bold, recognizable, and well - actually scarlet then so be it. I wholehearted support Chris Ash's decision. Not only because I will wholeheartedly support every goddamn decision he makes until it costs us a victory, but because I didn't realize how much I missed the old jerseys until they made a couple guest appearances last season. Plus, it can't do anything but help wash the stink off from the Kyle Flood era. The program might not fully be cleansed of it until after some football is played, but a renovated look will provide quite the Mexican shower. A Woman Hit Her Husband In The Head With A Taco Bell Burrito So He Stabbed Her With A Fork3/24/2016 Sun Coast- A Crestview couple has been arrested after deputies say the woman hit her husband with a burrito before he retaliated by stabbing her hand with a fork.
The Okalossa County Sheriff's Office tells media outlets in a statement that deputies responded Tuesday to a home, where they found 51-year-old Suzanne Hurlvert with a fork protruding from her hand. It was so deeply embedded that hospital staff had to remove it. Hurlvert told deputies that she and 66-year-old Carl Smith were arguing when she hit him in his head with her half-eaten Taco Bell Burrito Supreme. Hurlvert says Smith then stabbed her hand. Deputies found him at a bar. Smith is charged with aggravated battery - domestic violence related. Hurlvert is charged with domestic violence related battery, second or subsequent offense. It's unclear if they have attorneys. It's mighty easy to blame the husband here, because - well - he didn't have a fork sticking out of his hand. Personally, I blame the connotation of the word "stab". You put stab in any headline and it sounds bad. "Well Groomed Male Stabs Himself In The Ear With Q-Tip". See? That sounds so much worse then "some dude cleaned his inner ear". Now granted we are talking about a fork embedded in skin and not the gentle touch of a Q-tip but the point remains, this story paints the male as the bad guy when that couldn't be further from the truth. Sure, he overreacted to having food thrown at him by literally sticking a fork in his wife, but let's not act like she didn't know what she was doing. She took a half eaten burrito out of that man's mouth. You just know he was sitting there waiting for her to get full so he could finish off the rest of her order. What was left of her Taco Bell was basically already his well before she whacked him upside the head with it. You see that guy's picture? You think you mess with the meal of a man who looks like that without suffering the consequences of your actions? I wouldn't take one of that guy's french fries is he was in the bathroom for an hour and half. That's just a hospital visit waiting to happen. The fact that his wife always over orders and is never able to finish her food is probably the only that got him to get down on one knee in the first place, and now she's going to take that away from him? If this guy was in the wrong then how come the deputies found him at the bar? You don't go to the bar when you do something illegal, you go to the bar when you realize your entire relationship has been based on a lie.
Busted Coverage- As far as sports rivalries go, everyone knows the North Carolina-Duke battles are near the top of the list. With insane fans creating a raucous atmosphere, their games are as close to must-watch television as you’ll get in college basketball.
But for Carolina star Brice Johnson, the rivalry has a little twist — he dates Duke women’s basketball player Faith Suggs. Brice Johnson and Faith Suggs. The modern day Romeo and Juliet. Might as well be playing basketball for the Capulets and Montagues. All I know is that these two better be willing to die for each other because you don't turn against your "house" unless it's for something that is worthwhile. As much as I am disgusted by this relationship, I hope it ends in marriage. For if it does not then both these athletic representatives went against all that is holy for temporary fulfillment. May this love be everlasting, because that's the only thing that can run deeper than the ultimate blood rivalry. It's one thing for fans of each school to get together, but current players? You just know the members of their own locker room look at them with just a little bit of skepticism. How could they not? She's on social media sporting the colors of the enemy flag. It's the ultimate tale of a star-crossed couple entrenched in a feud that is well beyond resolve. It would have made Dean Smith sick to his stomach, but I'll be damned if it wouldn't have made Billy Shakespeare proud. P.S. At least it will be easy to pick out their housewarming gift. You know, if they still have any friends at that point...
If there is one type of person that is worse than the person that takes to social media to tell you how much they care about the victims of a tragedy it is the person that takes to social media to tell you that there is this whole other tragedy that no is paying attention to that needs fake sympathy too. So I don't appreciate the person that tried to shove the problems going on in Turkey in our faces when we are still pretending to mourn the attacks in Brussels. I get it, we fucked up. We should have been there to send our thoughts and prayers to Turkey. I really wish they had a big pretty tower that ever basic tourist has taken a picture in front of so we could have used their flag as a backdrop behind it and made it our FaceBook picture. That would have for sure gotten Turkey a little more support when they needed it the most. Unfortunately they don't, and that cost them the outpouring of super sincere tweets that would have definitely been able to comfort them during their time of need. Let me say something else though, Turkey can't use the fact that they were attacked four times to prove that they are more deserving of attention than Brussels or Paris. At that point you just have to be better about protecting yourselves. You can't flood the market like this. Americans have short attention spans. Even if we had been attentive during the first attack, we would have long forgotten by the 4th attack. I'll let a girl cry on my shoulder once, but after the 4th time she better figure that shit out because she's starting to stain my shirts. You can't just photoshop yourself into our hearts, it has to come naturally. We like to get on social media soap boxes for good causes, but we don't like to be reminded of the other good causes we are ignoring while we are up there. Especially if those other good causes are super high maintenance. There's too much bad shit in the world to focus on one issue that is going to require that many posts. LBS- “One thing we did talk about internally was to make sure he does have the slide down,” Irsay said, per Mike Wells of ESPN.com. “If we have to bring in a baseball player or baseball coach to talk about sliding. (Seattle quarterback) Russell Wilson is a baseball player, and when he slides, he does it so naturally. Andrew’s struggled a little bit more, but I think that’s just his competitive nature saying, ‘Do I shut it down or get those 2 extra yards?’ His competitive nature just gets to him.
“But he has to stay healthy. That’s part of his legacy. You can’t be a great player in this league if you don’t stay healthy. Everyone knows that. You just can’t. I think about Bob Sanders. What a great, great player. … But those injuries and the shortness of his career, that’s a tough, tough thing.” “Andrew has the responsibility to make educated decisions to protect himself,” Irsay added. “He knows that, and as we go forward, we want to see him at times slide, throw it away, keep him out of harm’s way. We have to do a better job protecting him, too.” In a way, I almost respect it. Jim Irsay might be a pill popping, drug sniffing buffoon, but at least he's a self aware pill popping, drug sniffing buffoon. Of course the Colts first concern should be getting Andrew Luck more protection, but they haven't addressed that since he came into the league so why would Irsay believe that his General Manager has any intention of doing it now? That's why you got to make sure that Andrew Luck is capable of protecting himself. Not because that should be the priority, but because nobody else is going to fucking do it. Whatever the case may be, you can't have your franchise quarterback getting hit so many times that his injuries resemble that of a car crash victim, and it turns out that new guards and tackles are way more expensive than sliding lessons. That's just excellent asset management as far as I am concerned. You got legs Andrew. If someone is about to rip your head off from the blindside then use them, and make sure you properly get off of them before a middle linebacker turns your rib cage into the findings from an archeological dig. What's the point of having a athletic versatile quarterback if he can't save you some money on the O-line? Seriously, almost too perfect that Irsay prattled on about Luck learning how to slide, and only slipped in a reference to the offensive line in the last sentence. The offensive line is ALWAYS the last thing the Indianapolis Colts address. P.S. Andrew Luck sliding probably could use a little work... Metro- It sounds like the perfect follow-up to Men are from Mars, Women are From Venus and is bound to be just as controversial.
We imagine there are countless exceptions, but a study from the Cape Western Reserve University in Ohio really does argue what the headline suggests. In a nutshell, it surmises that atheists access the same cold part of the brain as psychopaths, while the religious are more caring, but stupid. The goal of the study was to investigate how atheists and believers brains operated and what the differences were. It led them to the theory that the brain is split in to two networks. One being the more social, moral thinking and the other cold and analytical. The religious tend to be far less analytical in their behaviour but, if you look at previous studies this comes at a cost in terms of intelligence. On the flip side, atheists ‘push aside’ a more social outlook but and instead display the self-centred, impulsive behaviour, typical of psychopaths. I'm not going to lie to you, this feels pretty good. Sometimes it's the little things in life that make the biggest difference, and there's nothing smaller yet more complimentary than having science tell me that my religious beliefs make me smart and logical. Okay fine, all this study really told me was that I am not stupid or irrational, but with the state of society I will take what I can get. This study makes perfect sense, and it reaffirms my identity as a non-religious person that happens to believe in God. Now let's get into why... Of course religious people are stupid. They believe in a million year old book whose biggest plot point is that there is some dude they have never seen up in the sky watching over everyone at the same goddamn time. That - in and of itself - is a pretty dumb thing to use as a handbook for your life. All the good things in the world are because of God, and all the bad things in the world are because of God? Everything that happens is the "Lord's will"? Sounds like the guy is getting the biggest fucking pass of all time. If all it took to be God was to be overly observant of those around me, do nice things sometimes, and be a complete fucking dickhead the other times then why did he get the job over me? Look around you, the world fucking sucks. If it didn't I would have nothing to write about. Yet the guy pulling in the strings upstairs is still worthy of praise? Didn't he create this whole shit? Fuck that guy. You pray to that guy every night then I have no choice but to agree with this study in thinking you're stupid. Relax atheists, you aren't off the hook you goddamn psychopaths. There is only one type of person I trust less than a stupid person, and it's a person that believes that we just die and rot in a hole for the rest of eternity. I am not saying that doesn't happen. I am saying if you go through life thinking there is no eternal bliss then you are a nut job. To be able to walk this Earth without the comforting feeling of believing that something better comes after it then I am wary of your decision making. People that think there is no afterlife technically have nothing to lose, and that makes them complete wildcards. The world is essentially their playground, and the more freedom you give somebody the more likely they are to abuse it. You don't even have to really believe in God, you just have to trick yourself into thinking he exists so you have someone/something that stops you from acting on your own shitty volition all the time. The idea of God may be stupid, but it's crazy not to let yourself believe he exists. That's not just me talking, it's science. A Man Got Arrested For Failing To Return A Copy Of 'Freddy Got Fingered' To The Video Store In 20023/24/2016
Source- A Concord man was arrested for failing to return a 2002 VHS rental movie, “Freddy Got Fingered.”
James Meyers showed Channel 9 the arrest warrant Wednesday. It shows Meyers is charged with failure to return rental property, a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $200. The rental store in Kannapolis, J&J’s Video, has since closed, but Meyers was still given an April 27 court date for failing to return the gross-out comedy about a cartoonist returning home to live with his parents. Meyers said he was driving his daughter to school on Concord Parkway Tuesday morning when a Concord police officer pulled him over for a tail-light that was out. Meyers said the officer ran his license and approximately 25 minutes later asked him to step out of the vehicle. “The officer said, 'I don’t know how to tell you this but there’s a warrant out for your arrest from 2002. Apparently you rented the movie "Freddy Got Fingered" and never returned it.' I thought he was joking,” said Meyers. I am not going to act like I am above 'Freddy Got Fingered', but I will tell you this. Spending actual money to rent it from a video store is the only imprisonable offense that took place in this story. You want to jail someone for something then lock him up for having a terrible taste in rentable movies. I actually think that's more of a crime then failing to return a VHS tape to a video store that is no longer in business. I bet Tom Green himself would advise against paying to watch him "act". The "Daddy would you like some sausage?" musical performance may have been worthy of a laugh or two, but it's not worthy of any United States currency. That's for damn sure. I actually feel bad for this guy, because 'Freddy Got Fingered' is one of those movies that you watch, but you never want to be reminded of watching. A guilty pleasure in the truest sense of the word. One of those flicks you come across on television, look around to make sure no one else is in the room, and leave on the screen. That's why you can't be out there renting it and giving people recorded proof that you sought it out. Let's just say I can't remember the last time I heard about someone getting arrested for a failure to return 'Fight Club'. That might be a coincidence, but something tells me that 'Freddy Got Fingered' is just more likely to get you locked up then pretty much any other movie not named 'Freddy Got Fingered'. I agree that the Police Department should have bigger fish to fry and this shouldn't have been as big of a deal as it was made out to be. However, when he rented 'Freddy Got Fingered' James Meyers basically opened his own cheeks and left himself vulnerable to getting fisted by the long arm of the law. P.S. Super cool move from Tom Green to offer to pay his legal costs. Even he knows his performances aren't even worth a $5.95 rental fee, never mind the price of a out of date ticket.
Tom Green DailyMail- Jared Fogle, 38, has been tasked with the ironic job of handing out sandwiches to other inmates inside the Englewood Correctional Facility, Colorado.
He made his millions and became a household name as the face of a sandwich chain - and now it seems pedophile Jared Fogle has returned to his roots behind bars. The former Subway pitchman, who is serving 15 years at the Englewood Federal Corrections Institute in Colorado, has been tasked with serving sandwiches to other inmates, TMZ reports. Fogle, who was convicted last year of paying underage girls for sex and producing child porn, was assigned to cafeteria duty and put on sandwich duty as an ironic twist, it is reported. However, according to TMZ, Fogle had to be moved to the staff canteen after threats from fellow inmates who view cafeteria work as a 'cushy' job. The threats came after Steve Nigg, who is serving 15 years for gun charges, punched Fogle several times in January, leaving him with a bloody nose, scratched neck and a swollen face. Nigg was reportedly angry that he was serving the same sentence as Fogle, who received 15 years and eight months for trading child pornography and having sex with underage prostitutes. Get your laughs. No seriously, get all your laughs. Jared Fogle deserves every last one of them. There is something inherently hilarious about a guy that made $15 million peddling shitty franchised lunchmeat being sentenced to 15 years in prison pushing shitty prison sandwiches for free. Some might even call it karma. That being said, while this is sure to make Jared Fogle the butt of every joke behind bars, it may also be the only thing that keeps him alive. If I know anything about Jared Fogle it's that good things only happen to him when he is serving sandwiches. It didn't make sense when he was just a big fat loser that loved Subway way too much and was gifted a shot at being their spokesperson for decades because of it. That was weird and creepy, but people seemed to like him just the same. Maybe the same line of thinking works for a kiddie toucher roaming the prison halls. Sure, that's weird and creepy (and despicable) too, but people can overlook a lot when they are being fed. I imagine that goes ten-fold for convicts. Do I think that Jared Fogle is going to get a pass for pedophilia because he serves food? No, not really, but it wouldn't be the first time I was wrong about how successful he would be handing out compromised ingredients between stale bread. Shit just falls into place when Jared Fogle has a sandwich in his hand. With the way he's been putting on weight and getting his ass whooped by 60 year old dudes, he reallllly needs things to start falling into place if he hopes to survive a decade and a half in lockup as a child molester.
Let's just hope that Goose Gossage had enough morning beers before he laid down/passed out for his mid-morning nap, or Bryce Harper might laugh hard enough at this video to wake him and have him wondering what all the fuss is about. All we have to do is tread lightly and his old ass will miss this viral sensation completely. Lord knows he's not finding it on the internet all by himself. Fucking Cam Newton. Is there anything he can't do? Just messed around and infiltrated 50 foot long youth baseball diamonds everywhere. You really gotta tip your to that level of influence. I know this little dude has no problem doing so. Hey, regardless of how you feel about showmanship in baseball it's tough not to love this kid doing a little dance and unknowingly making a little love to the camera. Mostly because that was the only thing worth watching on that field all day. I can't even imagine watching tee-ball as a parent. Hell, I have nightmares about watching tee-ball as a tee-ball player. I vividly remember standing in the outfield as one of the - well - less athletically inclined children took 45 swings to hit a ball off a stationary rubber stand. This little guy shaking off the sign saved the day for those poor parents. Probably full on dozing off until this kid brought some hips that just don't quit to the base paths. This is what youth sports needs. More youngsters treating first base like it's a Shakira video. It makes up for the person guarding it whose only goal is to get as much dirt under his fingernails as possible. Who knows, maybe one day this stud will even figure out the art of bat thing? Be still Goose Gossage's bleeding heart.
Apparently The Rams Agreed To Draft Michael Sam As Long As The NFL Didn't Make Them Do 'Hard Knocks'3/24/2016
Okay, before we all freak out and start calling the NFL corrupt and saying that they don't have any integrity or some such shit can we figure out who was hurt by this handshake deal? If this mutual back scratching was such a tragedy then there had to be a clear loser, right? Let's just identify that loser then we can call the NFL all the mean names that we want. Was it Michael Sam? He didn't do much with it, but it still gave him a viable shot at having a successful NFL career so I think he made out alright. Was it the St. Louis Rams? They willingly gave up a 7th round pick for a player that apparently wasn't anywhere close to worthy of it, but not having a bunch of cameras around distracting them during training camp seems like a fair trade off. Was it the NFL? Ha! Lord knows they never come out on the ass end of a deal. So it must have been the homosexual community then? Well, not really. Almost everyone - including the L's, G's, B's, and T's - seemed pretty happy when Michael Sam was being paraded in front of the camera with cake on his face like a shiny gay show pony after he was drafted. In fact, technically the only loser would have been the viewers who got "robbed" of the opportunity of seeing the Rams on 'Hard Knocks'. I think I speak for every fan of the show that was outside of St. Louis at the time by saying we were just fine with them going a different direction. You really want to dig deep? The NFL had no choice but to fix Michael Sam's draft position. If the 'SEC Defensive Player Of The Year' had gone undrafted mere months after coming out of the closet it would have been a PR NIGHTMARE. There would have been a millions articles and news segments declaring NFL franchises prejudice for staying away from him because of his sexuality. However, the reality of the situation was that whether or not Michael Sam liked chicks, dicks, or donkeys, he just wasn't all that good at football. All you have to do to see that is look at the return the Rams got on their investment. Dude simply wasn't cut out for the NFL, but with the state of society it would have been nearly impossible for people to let that "minor" little tidbit ruin a nice, juicy, homophobic storyline. This might be a bad look for Goodell now, but that's only because now it's public. The truth of the matter is that he was just trying to be proactive in avoiding the undeserved (for once) backlash that was going to come his way. He did just that, AND he gave a homosexual defensive end an opportunity he probably wouldn't have gotten otherwise. You want to be pissed at someone? Be pissed at the person who leaked this, because before they did everyone was blissful in their ignorance of the irrelevant career of Michael Sam. I know Goodell is a buffoon, but before you put this on him remember that if this deal doesn't take place then neither does this moment...
I could act like this is the greatest news ever, but it would be just that - an act. Don't get me wrong, it's certainly good news, but it's not the great news it was when Sean Payton announced that he was staying with the New Orleans Saints back in February. The signing of the contract makes it official and puts a number of years and a monetary amount to it, but this was a foregone conclusion. Sean Payton re-dedicated himself to the Saints, the Saints re-dedicated themselves to him, and I can't wait to see what happens next. Last year a new foundation was put in place. The team is set to continue building upon that foundation this year, and it's good to know that the same architect will remain consistent throughout the entire construction process. Hopefully that process is successful in bringing another Lombardi Trophy to New Orleans while Brees is still transcending his age, but that's something that only time will tell. Until then, your move Drew... Justin Bieber Canceled All Of His Meet And Greets, And Somehow Made Himself Into The Victim3/23/2016
Love u guys.. I'm going to be canceling my meet and greets. I enjoy meeting such incredible people but I end up feeling so drained and filled with so much of other people's spiritual energy that I end up so drained and unhappy.. Want to make people smile and happy but not at my expense and I always leave feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted to the point of depression .. The pressure of meeting people's expectations of what I'm supposed to be is so much for me to handle and a lot on my shoulders. Never want to disappoint but I feel I would rather give you guys the show and my albums as promised. Can't tell you how sorry I am, and wish it wasn't so hard on me.. And I want to stay in the healthy mindset I'm in to give you the best show you have ever seen ;)
Say what you want about the Biebs, but he pretty much nailed this. When you have an entertainment career you can always plead exhaustion. That's just a Mariah Carey pro-tip right there. Pretty sure exhaustion didn't even become an actual prognosis until after everyone started shitting all over 'Glitter'. I'm not saying that it's not true. I'm sure it is a huge hassle to meet an endless amount of people that you don't know every single day and have to grin and bear it each and every time. I barely have the energy to smile all the way through one single interaction with a stranger, and Justin Bieber has to do it with hundreds of thousands of lunatics that are crazy enough to pay over $450 just to take a fucking picture with him. Makes sense that he would want to put an end to that, and what better way to put an end to it by then rolling out every cliche in the book. Spiritually drained. Mentally and emotionally exhausted. So much to handle. A lot on my shoulders. The pressure of meeting expectations. Throw in a "depression" reference just to put a nice little self pitying bow on it. That's how you do it my friends. That's how you tell people "I have no interest whatsoever in talking to you", and still come away a sympathetic figure. If only this tactic worked as well for people who weren't rich and famous. Then we would really be on to something. Metro- A teenager who survived the Brussels airport attack was a block away from the Boston Marathon finish line at the time of the bombing and was in Paris on November 13 last year.
Yesterday, at least 14 people died and dozens more were injured in two explosions that went off near to an American Airlines desk at Zaventem Airport just after 7 local time. An explosion was heard at Maalbeek metro station just under an hour later. A Belgian transport officer said that 20 people were killed in the blast. Mason Wells, 19, was hit by shrapnel when the bombs, which were hidden in suitcases, detonated. He ruptured his Achilles tendon and suffered second- and third-degree burns on his face and hands. Remarkably, Mason, a Mormon missionary, also survived the Boston Marathon bombing on April 15, 2013, and the Paris attacks last November. Am I missing something? Why is everyone praising this kid? I guess it's cool that he's repeatedly slipped through the cold, dead grasp of the Grim Reaper a few times, but it's a little too strange for my liking. You can survive one terrorist attack. You can even survive two terrorist attacks and call it a coincidence. However, when you survive three consecutive terrorist attacks in three completely random countries then you are the target of the terrorist attacks. There is literally only one constant here and his name is Mason. I don't know what this guy did, but death has a plan. If it didn't then there wouldn't be thirteen sequels to 'Final Destination'. Death is chasing after this fucker and it's taking the lives of innocent people along the way. This might come off as crass, but some might even consider him the actual terrorist here. This jet-setting son-of-a-bitch is tracking his bad juju all over world with no respect for the livelihood of it's citizens. I have always said there is something off with Mormon missionaries and this only further proves my point. Should have never trusted him from the start. Maybe it's best he just succumb, because something tells me you don't walk away from three separate bombings in a good place mentally. He might be a good kid, but this motherfucker is a bad omen, and I - for one - would like to put in a request to be personally informed the next time he decides to cross state lines. P.S. Seriously though, happy he's alright. P.P.S. Also seriously, would Usain Bolt off the plane if I saw that he was in the seat next to me. Busted Coverage- Sean Payton didn’t make it to the NFL coach photo session Monday in Boca Raton at the owners meetings, but he did manage to get to Key West the same day for Kenny Chesney’s free show at Sloppy Joe’s that also included a guest appearance from Eric Church.
John Fox was in the coach photo and then hauled it 200 miles (probably flew in) to be in the photo with Payton, Chesney and Dale Earnhardt Jr. My favorite part about this story isn't that Sean Payton threw up his big old middle finger to the league that once suspended him a year for something he had next to nothing to do with, it's that he did so to get in a few more hours of tailgating. The fact that John Fox made the coaches meeting and the Kenny Chesney concert makes this picture that much more perfect. I can only imagine the phone call... John Fox: "Hey Sean, it's John Fox. I'm actually heading to the Kenny Chesney concert myself, do you want to car pool from the owner's meeting? Sean Payton: "Nah, that's alright coach. I think I am going to..uhh..get started early. I'll have a cold one waiting when you get here. Send my best to the rest of the guys and tell Goodell to go fuck himself." Love it. If I know anything about country concerts it's that they are much like college football games, and you never schedule something else the same day you are going to a college football game. That itinerary stays clear of all things that require sobriety. Honestly, if you go to a country concert and don't start drinking 8 hours before it can you really even say you went to a country concert? I don't even like country music all that much, but if you get about 15 Budweiser's in me I'll turn into the love child of Blake Shelton and Carrie Underwood. Good to know me and my head football coach are on the same page. It's not always about the event itself, it's about giving yourself enough time to get properly tuned up for the event. The fact that it "made" him skip an NFL sanctioned affair was just an added bonus. Nike Completely Botched Their Pitch Meeting To Steph Curry Three Years Ago, And I Don't Blame Them3/23/2016 Uproxx- The pitch meeting, according to Steph’s father Dell, who was present, kicked off with one Nike official accidentally addressing Stephen as “Steph-on,” the moniker, of course, of Steve Urkel’s alter ego in Family Matters. “I heard some people pronounce his name wrong before,” says Dell Curry. “I wasn’t surprised. I was surprised that I didn’t get a correction.”
It got worse from there. A PowerPoint slide featured Kevin Durant‘s name, presumably left on by accident, presumably residue from repurposed materials. “I stopped paying attention after that,” Dell says. Though Dell resolved to “keep a poker face,” throughout the entirety of the pitch, the decision to leave Nike was in the works. Hey, you can poke fun at Nike all you want. I know they aren't hurting for business. Probably have a few regrets about how this meeting went down, but the funny thing about hindsight is that it's always 20/20. This pitch took place three years ago. Three years ago Steph Curry was an above average player in the NBA. He wasn't yet the best shooter of all time. He wasn't putting up one of the best statistical seasons in NBA history. He was a pretty good player. You know what pretty good players get? Recycled PowerPoints. Basically what I am saying is that Steph Curry would have been a decent get for Nike. He wouldn't have been a great get. They wouldn't have been poppin' bottles over him wearing their shoes. When Steph Curry walked out those doors and signed with Under Armour they probably shrugged their shoulders and gave the same exact presentation to DeAndre Jordan five minutes later. Should they have known how to pronounce him name? Yeah, probably. Seems a tad bit disrespectful. However, let's not sit here and act like Stephen isn't a weird name for a dude. Like, weird enough that even if you were 75% sure it's pronounced that way you still go with 'Steph-on' out of fear of offending him. The fact that we've been addressing the best player in the NBA the same way as the middle child from 'Full House' has been swept under the rug pretty casually. Not that I have a problem with it, but it's certainly a bit unorthodox. I'll tell you this, if Steph Curry was dropping 30 foot three pointers with regularity in 2012-2013 his name could have been Snufalufagus and they would had that shit etched in gold on the wall the minute he walked in the building, but as we all know that wasn't the case.
I don't want to speculate here, but I have to imagine that this quote was taken out of context. Not because I think LeBron is incapable of saying it, but because if it were true than Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love would have already thrown a game late in the 4th quarter just to get their temperamental tweeting teammate the fuck out of the town. If I learned anything about LeBron over the years it's that one setback would never cause him to quit basketball. What would he do in this situation? I don't know. If I had to guess I would say he'd immediately announce he was transferring to Kentucky via a 1-on-1 sit-down on ESPN, start recruiting all the best in-bounders in the nation, coast to a National Championship or two, and transfer back to Northern Iowa for his senior season after they had fully recovered. Come on. You think a guy with the talents of LeBron James - who is 2-4 in the NBA finals - can't handle a bad loss? You think he would let that cost him his career? How else would he quench his undying thirst for attention if he retired early? Much like winning a championship for Cleveland, saying you'd quit basketball is far easier than actually quitting basketball. So no, I don't doubt that these words came out of LeBron's mouth, but - just like everything else he has ever said since joining the NBA - I do doubt the sincerity of them. P.S. I don't want to go the "what about the kids?" route, but what an example for one of the best basketball players in the world to be setting for the youth of America. If at first you don't succeed, never let your face be seen on a basketball court again. Can't wait until his stupid son's team blows a 14 point lead in a minute and a half so he can tell me it's all about persevering. Fucking hypocrite. You know what's funny about this video? The fact that Cory Schneider had to intentionally make things look difficult. The pad stack. The barrel roll. Those were so obviously forced just for dramatic effect, and the reason being is simple. Not everyone can appreciate great goaltending when someone like Cory Schneider makes it look so casual. You will likely never again see those types of saves from Cory Schneider, not even during his best game. You know why? Because it's tough to make an out-of-position save with the paddle of your stick when you are hardly ever out of position. Honestly, Cory Schneider still made drills that were designed to challenge him look easy. His lateral quickness from net-to-net was so efficient that stops he made on people he had his back facing to - from a completely different net - just moments before seemed run of the mill. I think it's been difficult - even for Devils fans - to fully appreciate just how great Cory Schneider has been, and I don't even blame them. It's tough for the casual observer to understand when they watched Martin Brodeur play the most breathtakingly unorthodox style for upwards of two decades. Schneider may not be the pioneer of the position that Marty was, but his effectiveness in net the last two seasons has made him the best possible successor to a living legend that a franchise could possibly ask for. So instead of focusing on the perceived difficulty of his saves, just sit back and realize that the effortlessness with which he seems to make them is worthy of all the awe. P.S. If you want the Devils to trade Schneider - for anything less than 2-3 blue chip prospects and a lifetime supply of booze so I can drink away my sorrows - then I want you to promptly kill yourself. You let me know how you want to do it, and I'll buy the supplies. Shit, I'll even write the suicide note out of the goodness of my heart.
You know when you hang out with a kid and he has a lot of things about him that you find annoying. Sure, you guys are friends and you have some interests in common, but he has a lot character flaws that seem relatively inexplicable. Then you meet his father, and it all starts to come together. Pretty much the "oh, THAT'S where he gets it from" situation. That's how I feel about this completely unnecessary comment made by Joe Thornton. All this time I was projecting my hatred at hockey fans that couldn't respect the traditions of other sports, and it was apparently stemming from the athletes themselves. It's players like Joe Thornton that have spread this notion that hockey is the end all, be all of the sports world. He's taught all these hockey fans that are running around bashing other sports that the way hockey does things is the right way, and that it's basically impossible to derive any pleasure from sports that aren't played with a puck. Thanks Joe, thanks a lot. Now, I am not saying I am a baseball fan. I'll tune in sporadically during the postseason. I will most certainly take every opportunity to go to the ball park and suck down a handful of hot dogs and some ice cold beers in the sun, but no - I am not a fan. I find the games - and the season itself - to be long, tedious, and boring. That doesn't mean it is boring. It means that I - personally- feel like it is. That's why I don't fault teams for celebrating playoffs berths with champagne showers. It might be a little much, but so is having a 162 game season followed by only three rounds of playoffs, one of which is a short series. All I'm saying is that if I was playing a professional sport every goddamn day for however many months then I would be quick to dump a bottle of bubbly on my head too if it culminated in being one of only 8 teams (fuck the one game playoff) to have chance at winning a championship. Do I think it's necessary to do it after every series win? No, not really, but as a hockey fan - and former hockey player - the last thing I am going to do is hate on a sport because it's athletes find reasons to drink and waste alcohol at an alarming rate. In fact, I think it might be the only tradition in baseball that I can wholeheartedly get behind. |
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