This is simply inexcusable. That's just a blatant hit from behind. Not only did it draw blood, but it also appeared to knock the player on the receiving end of it unconscious. I just don't understand how you miss that call. How do you allow that player to stay in the game? Absolutely absurd that he didn't face supplemental discipline after such a dangerous play that the league has "supposedly" been making a concerted effort to keep out of the game. That paragraph above is how I would have responded if I were trying to guess the outcome of that play from the incensed reaction of John Tortorella. If Roman Polak wasn't assessed a 5 minute major, didn't get immediately tossed from the game, and did manage to avoid the two game suspension that he's now serving then that blurb above would make perfect sense. Instead I am just sitting here wondering why Torts was approximately three and half expletives away from popping blood vessels in both eyeballs. I shudder to think of the stroke he undoubtedly would have had if the referee's decision didn't put him his team in the best possible scenario. He looked like he was fighting through the world's worst case of constipation when sitting on a 5 minute man advantage, so it's probably not out of the question to think he would have actually shit himself if it was only a double minor. I get sticking up for your injured player, but - short of superhuman heroics - I am not sure how else the ref was supposed to appease the dead animal living in John Tortorella's rectum. I can't imagine we'll ever get to the point where officials have the ability to retract powerplays from ungrateful head coaches. However, if that's the way Tortorella is going to react to being on the right side of game changing penalties then I'll be damned if he's not going to have referees dreaming of the possibility. At the very least they should be allowed to wear ear plugs during Blue Jackets' games if every whistle is going to get them an ass chewing that would be too explicit for the front page of PornHub.
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BREAKING NEWS: By spilling coffee (reportedly of the 'Irish' variety) on a napkin that was on the table shared by himself and Sean Payton during a breakfast at the largest of NFL functions a month and half ago, Johnny Manziel has unofficially become an official member of the New Orleans Saints! Maybe I'm opening myself up to being very, very wrong here, but is it just be possible that Sean Payton - a quarterback whisperer of sorts - was giving a complete degenerate tips on how to best get his shitshow of a life together? Does the fact that a football coach and a (former?) football player once had a meal together automatically mean that they are soon going to be sharing a place of employment? I'm all for a good reclamation project, but this particular one doesn't make a modicum of sense. The Saints should - without a doubt - be looking for a successor at the quarterback position, but that doesn't explain why they would pick up someone whose been nothing short of a complete failure. Depth under center is important, but generally you don't find it under the table. That's not to say that Drew Brees wouldn't make a hell of a mentor to Johnny Manziel, but it is to say that Drew Brees has enough to worry about without having to administer a breathalyzer to his backup before ever practice. I trust Sean Payton's eye for offensive talent, I don't trust it enough to think he's got the chops to be a sponsor to a guy who - Lord willing - wouldn't play a single meaningful snap while also turning around a team that's gone 7-9 three seasons in a row. I call bullshit, but don't mind me...I'm just using common fucking sense to assume that no person - short of the devil himself - would willingly bring Johnny Manziel to play in a building that's well within walking distance of Bourbon Street.
For what it's worth, I don't think Ian Kinsler's quote was meant to come off as holier than thou as it reads. That's probably not worth too much since dissecting every syllable of even the most tongue-in-cheek responses is commonplace in 2017, but still - I would hope he's not as dumb as his words are sanctimonious. That's not even the point though. I personally don't care whether or the United States' representation in the 'World Baseball Classic' fancies themselves a more "respectful" bunch just because they keep a poker face while playing a kid's game. If Ian Kinsler takes some fictitious sense of pride in upholding the "integrity" of the diamond by stoically running the bases and following every unwritten rule that was put in place by the type of monotonously conventional players and coaches that are slowly nearing extinction then that's his prerogative. If he truly believes that being emotionally distant and lifelessly passionate is the "right" way to show emotion and passion then who am I to tell him differently? Where he loses me - and every other casual baseball fan, for that matter - is not having the basic understanding that looking like you're waiting in line at the DMV as you play a sport for a living is exactly the kind of shit that turns off the youth that he's apparently trying to influence. That "no offense, but..." dig he took at the way Puerto Ricans and Dominicans play baseball is without question condescending. More importantly, however, it rings hallow. The rapidly decreasing amount of kids in the United States that grow up wanting to pick up a bat couldn't give less of a fuck about adhering to some antiquated etiquette by discreetly placing it on the ground upon contact. The fact of the matter is that children in this country would be far more likely to look up to someone like Ian Kinsler if he played/enjoyed the game like Javy Baez. Hoping that the next generation is paying close attention to how repressed American baseball players are is - in many ways - basically the same as hoping that the American baseball player becomes (even more of) a rarity. According To Arkansas' New Gun Law, Fans Will Be Able To Bring Firearms Into Stadiums In 20183/23/2017 TheBigLead- Fans attending Arkansas Razorbacks football and basketball games may be permitted to carry guns into the stadium beginning in 2018 after Gov. Asa Hutchinson approved gun rights measure Wednesday. Under the new law, concealed guns would be allowed at private establishments unless there are posted exceptions.
No schools or universities have chosen to adopt a 2013 law permitting faculty to carry concealed weapons. The new measure goes into effect on Sept. 1. A lawmaker whose district includes the University of Arkansas campus in Fayetteville called the law “horrifying,” and noted it even allows concealed guns at Razorback football games and other sporting events in government-owned facilities. “People like to have a good time before the game, during the game, people get emotional and angry during the game,” Democratic Rep. Greg Leding said. “I think the idea of introducing loaded weapons into those situations is just ridiculous.” ---- Brilliant. Just brilliant. I know there are plenty of people that are appalled by the thought of drunken SEC fans brandishing firearms in an environment that lends itself to irrationally belligerent disagreements, but maybe those people should have spent a little more time listening to the always unbiased gun owners of America. Christ almighty, blindly hating on people and their right to bear arms in public after washing down a dozen cold ones with a moonshine chaser is such classic lib behavior. After all, you need not read anymore than one NRA pamphlet to find the statistical proof that the presence of more guns actually makes every single situation safer regardless of context. You want to resolve half-coherent fistfights between people that only support their favorite college football team more than the confederacy? Make sure they are licensed, locked, and loaded, because being a hair trigger away from impending disaster will sober a person up faster than any cold splash of water to the face ever could. Stupid Dems don't even realize that guns are simply for protection, and the only things more important than keeping your household safe is keeping your seat clear and the rooting interest of your section in check. Plus, what better way to intimidate a visiting team than by firing a stray straight up into the air before kickoff?! Fuck southern hospitality, someone's got to light a fire under them Hogs!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Is Martellus Bennett implying that are better ways for the NFL to spend their time and endless capital than by casting and producing an instructional video intent on showing grown ass men how to appropriately display their happiness? Is that what's happening here? Is he trying to lead me to believe that infantilizing a 'Key And Peele' sketch into something that resembles an outdated D.A.R.E. video shouldn't be the first priority of a league whose image problem is far from limited to end zone dances? Did he just mock the inherent educational value in showing professional athletes a distinct set of allowable celebrations? I don't want to put words in his tweets, but it reads to me like Martellus Bennett finds the NFL's dedication to turning their players into robotic, Madden-ized versions of themselves to be condescending. It's as if he doesn't think that the ranging personalities of his peers can be fully encapsulated in a patronizing video that will undoubtedly be more unintentionally funny then the VHS that was used to teach them how to wrap their birds when dealing with these B's. Looks like someone doesn't realize that this has nothing to do with out-of-touch white executives trying to appease the older, excessively conservative demographic of their viewership. It's almost like one particularly outspoken tight end forgot that there are young, impressionable children watching, and that their lives could forever be effected by seeing their favorite wide receiver hump air or their role model of a running back destroy their innocence by turning a football into prop faster than Carrot Top. So I ask you, Martellus Bennett, what about the kids....WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?!?!?!
P.S. Is it crazy to think that Troy Vincent has been tantalized into the sunken place by his tenure in the NFL front office? There's no way this dude had such a stick up his ass during his playing days. Either money talked, or Roger Goodell started clanking his tea cup and slipped him under his trance. Not saying the former Eagles' cornerback needs to 'Get Out', but someone might want to turn the flash on when they take a selfie with him during the filming of this tutorial on how to entertain appropriately. Ya know, just in case. AwfulAnnouncing- Here’s how Musburger told it to Teddy Greenstein of the Chicago Tribune:
One time. A long time ago I was doing an NBA game. It was in Portland in the ’80s. Lakers-Trail Blazers and the director was legendary Tony Verna, who started instant replay in the (1963) Army-Navy game. I took the Lakers (plus) three points. The bet was dinner for the production team, which I suppose would have been 300 bucks. The Blazers were up by 4, well inside of one minute. Shot clock. The Lakers came across (half court) and a kid by the name of Kurt Rambis jacked up this outrageous shot, and I was all over him! So I paid off the bet, bought the dinner and said to myself: ‘You know, that was not good. That was just not good. You do not want the spread to influence how you are announcing a game.’ I always knew what the number was on every game I did. I told (former ABC executive) Dennis Swanson: I’m not going to bet on games I broadcast. I’ll bet on other games. After learning that lesson, let me apologize to Rambis. I should not have done that. ‘He could have pounded it inside and I could have had a backdoor cover!’ (laughs) ---- Wait, once? The guy that spent damn near all of his 40+ years in sportscasting making increasingly less subtle references to the spread before immediately bolting to a career in gambling only bet on a game he worked one single time?! Something tells me that number might go up as the amount of time he spends in the spotlight - and coincidentally the number of fucks given - goes down, but for now let's take him at his word. If Brent Musburger only put his money where his mouth was contractually obligated to be one time before he felt like it was effecting his ability to do his job then we need that audio, and we needed it yesterday. A professional broadcaster and - by all accounts - a professional gambler was so thrown off by mixing business and pleasure that he vowed to never do so again? A guy whose profession encourages him to be as suspenseful as possible felt that his stakes in the game were making him too emotionally attached? In retrospect, that last minute of gameplay is probably must-see TV. Watching him live and die with the last few possessions of a random Lakers-Trail Blazers matchup knowing that it was totally genuine and not at all for dramatic effect? That would be far more gratifying than thinking he was just upholding his obligation to the viewers. I guarantee this over-the-top rant at the expense of Kurt Rambis, his shot selection, and potentially the content of his character would have me stitches if I knew what triggered it. Watching people you share a (in this case fictitious) kinship with lose money over something they can't control is endlessly intriguing. Almost makes me think more commentators should go down that road if the goal is truly to entertain the audience.
"Nothing changed but the change" #BLESSED
Fun fact, one of my favorite things to do is try to decipher the not-so-hidden meanings behind simple, yet weirdly relevant rap lyrics used to accompany suspiciously timed social media posts. Honest to god, nothing gets makes me feel more at ease about the possibility of franchise altering personnel decisions than the players potentially involved in them being cryptic and vague for all to see. I don't know if Malcolm Butler is set to become a member of the New Orleans Saints, but isn't that what makes Instagram ambiguity so much goddamn fun! Did he sign his tender? Has a contract been negotiated and agreed upon? Is a trade well in the works? Is a top ten cornerback feel blessed to have caught up to the paper he was chasin'? Is he confident that he's merely a safe landing away from a well deserved change in the "change" he's due? Could his distant gaze out the window of a chartered jet be symbolic of an upcoming move elsewhere? Is there a reason for the underlying black & gold theme in a photo-op that appears to be about his net worth and/or professional career? What is a horse shoe? What does a horse shoe do? Are there horse socks? Is anybody listening to me? Is this thing on?!? So many questions that can only be truly unanswered by spending the next few hours (maybe days, probably weeks) picking apart the smallest intricacies of a single picture and the corresponding brief, topical, and completely indefinitive wordplay of Schoolboy Q in its caption. Finally, a productive way to spend the offseason! I know Willie Snead IV agrees... Uproxx- Kerr told reporters in Dallas that he would be open to a reduction in games on the schedule, even as small as 82 to 75, in order to give players more time off between games even if it meant he made less money.
“I wouldn’t be opposed to it, even at the expense to my own salary, but it’s something that everyone would have to agree to,” Kerr said. “I think even just going down to 75 games, I think that would make a dramatic difference in schedule. Now I don’t see that happening because there is money at stake for everybody.” ---- As the overly opinionated head coach of one of the most hated teams in all of professional sports, Steve Kerr may not be the hero we want....but he damn sure is the hero we need right now! Basketball - despite being as popular and profitable as it's ever been - needs saving and the person that would be willing to take a slight pay cut if it meant slightly reducing his workload is just the man for the job! There's simply no one more qualified to offer money to someone they know isn't going to take it than the guy whose wins record would forever remain intact if they did! Some pessimists may say that this is an empty gesture since NBA owners would never - under any circumstances - sacrifice the revenue collected from 3-4 additional home games. However, could we ever declare that definitively without the spokesperson of the most insufferable franchise in the NBA taking the lead on a fruitless cause and selflessly offering up an undisclosed percentage of his 5 million dollar salary if - and only if - the NBA decides they value their employees wishes over guaranteed capital? I think not. We would never truly know whether or not crowd sourcing a league-wide pay cut would be able to cover the costs of violated television contracts and tens of thousands of unsold tickets without one brave soul raising their hand and profoundly stating "I'll do it if everyone else does". Saying that he would take less money if the impossible magically becomes possible doesn't cost Steve Kerr a single cent, but if it did then he would likkkke totally be fine with it. If there is a first step in the players strong arming their way into a shorter schedule then it's having the backing of their lesser paid, less important coaches. That stairway only leads to superstars sitting out more nationally televised games, but that doesn't mean that Steve Kerr isn't (hypothetically speaking, of course) putting his money where his mouth is - even if it is considered nothing more than loose change to a league that's worth billions as currently constructed. I'm honestly impressed. Obviously not by J.J. Watt's totally genuine persona as the humbled, gracious athlete that always has time to entertain every kid in the neighborhood, but by the fact that he was so dedicated to maintaining it that he produced EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES of SnapChat footage during one single snowball fight. I don't know how long this precipitation battle with two kids that look no worse for the wear possibly could have lasted but I feel like we have enough game tape to break down their tendencies before the next blizzard. That's all thanks to J.J.'s undying need to broadcast his "relatability" to the millions and millions of fans that look up to him as so much more than just a football player. Sometimes it's just nice to see that professional athletes that make millions and millions of dollars are just like us. What better way for one to prove that than by narrating an entire Blair Witch-esque TV short made up on 10 second clips of a snowball fight outside his monstrous log cabin like it's taking place on the scorched battlefields of Vietnam? FOXSports- Lakers nutritionist Dr. Cate Shanahan told ESPN that when the club acquired then-26-year-old from the Magic in 2012, his diet was quite alarming.
“You name it, he ate it,” Shanahan said. According to the story, Howard’s craving for junk food was a major issue, as he ate everything from Skittles, Starbursts, Rolos, Snickers, Mars bars, Twizzlers, Almond Joys, Kit Kats and Reese’s Pieces. He would stash the candy all over his house and eat it at all hours, consuming as much as 24 chocolate bars’ worth of sugar every day for as long as a decade. Howard’s sugar intake was so bad that he began experiencing tingling in his legs and fingers, symptoms Shanahan believed was due to his diet. Howard ditched the candy in lieu of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and the tingling symptoms subsided. ---- This poor nutritionist. She undoubtedly went through many years of schooling to reach the top of her profession. Getting the opportunity to make sure the most gifted athletes in the world kept a diet that lent itself to performing at their physical peak was probably her dream job, and in walks a guy that has to be tricked into filling himself up on bread so he didn't go around devouring candy by the fundraiser box. All those late nights up studying in med school and for what? To get the chance to tell an NBA player to stop eating like Augustus Gloop? Seriously though, all this time I have been saying that Dwight Howard is an overgrown child and I never even knew how true it actually was. Apparently the 7 footer that is built like a Greek god really is the inverse 'Jack'. I don't know what rate he actually aged at. I do know it's nowhere near the rate that his body developed at, because there is no bigger sign of someone having the mental capabilities of a pre-teen than needing to be force-fed PB&J's just to wean them off of a candy "addiction". This gives me reason to believe that if Dwight Howard was born a dog then he would have passed away from old age long before learning not to shit on the carpet. Of course he comes off a sociopath that's incapable of normal, genuine interactions with people his own age. Only a person with the brain of an 11 year old would require the help of someone with a PhD to draw the obvious link between a daily sugar intake that send Willy Wonka into a diabetic shock and the abnormal sensations tingling throughout his body. I can't believe I gave him a hard time for being a shitty father. Children are supposed to suck as raising children. He probably only has 10 baby mammas because he's intellectually one grade away from sex education. The lack of will power that it takes to consume 24 of anything per day is reminiscent of someone that still gets send to timeout. It's legitimately a good thing he's chiseled from stone or all stranger danger would have had to do was offer him a bitesize 'Kit Kat' to 'Celtic Pride' his ass during the 2009 NBA playoffs.
You know what's truly crazy about this goal? The casualness of it. Yes, cutting through the teeth (well, more like gums) of the entire Sabres "defense" was nice, and anyone that's ever touched a hockey stick knows how impressive (borderline impossible) it is to be able to lift the puck with velocity while using one hand. However, the fact that Sidney Crosby hardly even looked like he was trying while he did those things is probably the most undeniable reminder of how talented he truly is. The nonchalantness of that play looked like something you would see out of a former D1 athlete attempting the moves that would have never worked in college against 40 year fathers that polished off 3-4 beers before they even went out for warmups. That's partially due to the fact that Buffalo played the type of matador defense that would give Walt Clyde Frazier a pants pun-ishing stiffy and Rex Ryan harrowing flashbacks, but it's also because Sidney Crosby is THAT much better than his professional peers. 'The (29 year old) Kid' didn't even contemplate putting his bottom hand back on his stick before firing a backhander from just inside the hashmarks. Didn't even consider any other option than doing something that only a handful of people in the world are capable of when there is not an NHL defenseman breathing down their neck. It's not the thought that counts on the scoreboard, but having the confidence to try that is damn near as awe inspiring as the flawless execution of it. If it makes the Connor McDavid loyalists feel any better than he is still kind of an overbearing cocksucker. Doesn't take away from his own ability, but it does take away from the viewer's ability to wholeheartedly respect it sometimes...
At least he's got a dentist visit to worry about after trying to perform an on-ice castration. Only right I suppose...
One memorable win. One glimpse into the potential brightness of the future. One reminder of the greatness of Cory Schneider. One more reason to cheer for something other than draft position. One "fuck you" to an insufferable, entitled fan base with the most fictitious superiority complex in all of professional sports. One overtime gut punch to the New York Rangers. That's all that was needed. Back to your regularly scheduled tanking please. As far as I am concerned, the season ended last night and it ended on the highest of notes. These next ten games might technically "count", but I certainly don't need them to be treated that way. No feeling will top the feeling of watching the Devils turn the tables by oh-so-narrowly grasping victory from the clutches of defeat. Nothing will best the thrill of watching the spirit of Martin Brodeur possess the body of Cory Schneider as he threw a flawless poke check in a pressure packed situation. Nothing will stop the heart quite like the net mouth scramble that - for what seems like the first time all season - didn't end up in the back of their net. Nothing will be quite as exhilarating as two talented young kids outlasting the laws of endurance to lead a game winning odd man rush. The joy that I - and most Devils' fans - felt as Joseph Blandisi slid the puck over the goal line and started letting out the frustrations of his entire franchise on a pane of glass can't be topped, so let's hope that they don't play their way into a worse pick by trying to recreate it. P.S. I suppose you could add "one NHL goal for John Quenneville", and "one pummeling from the enraged hands of Miles Wood", because those moments were pretty awesome as well...
Bitchy, Conservative Mouthpiece Tomi Lahren Has Been Suspended For Saying She's Pro-Choice3/21/2017
Yahoo- Rising conservative star Tomi Lahren surprised her fans and adversaries alike last Friday after she voiced her support for abortion rights during an appearance on The View. In response, many of her supporters were quick to voice their outrage, with some claiming they now planned to boycott her - and as of Monday, multiple sources report that her show on The Blaze has been suspended this week, allegedly as a result of the backlash.
Confirming the news in a statement to CNNMoney, The Blaze's managing editor Leon Wolf said, "Tomi's show will not be in production this week." When the publication reached out to the show's host for further comment, she responded, "Wish I could comment but I can't." Despite not being able to release a formal statement on the matter, however, Lahren has offered several tweets in response to the news - some more cryptic than others. ---- Alternate headline: 'Bitchy, Conservative Mouthpiece Tomi Lahren Has Been Suspended For Finally Saying Something She Actually Believes' Oh well, I guess you can last so long on television as the pretty face and infuriating voice that the overly conservative use to publicize their antiquated thoughts before you eventually misspeak and say some shit that actually makes sense. Truthfully, I'm impressed that it took her this long to break from her character. Quite the act she put on though. According to the virality of her stupidity she really had everyone falling for her schtick, but it's good to see that she was able to formulate her own thought for once. A woman having the right to decide whether or not she wants to bear children? WHAT A CONCEPT! Might be considered a tad "libtarded" by her fans, and - hey, what do you know - she's already been suspended for thinking it! Shocker of the century! Tomi Lahren is only worth a damn when she's following a very strict agenda that's put in place by her employers? I don't believe it for a second. If there's anything I know about her it's that she gives her own honest opinions....unless they happen to stray ever-so-slightly from the script set in front of her by the Presidential campaign that created her pompous, self important, most likely boney ass. Let's hope - for the sake or her job security - that she doesn't slip up and say some snowflakey shit like "I don't care where transgenders piss" or "African Americans deserve equal protection under the law". I don't want her to get blackballed like her BFF Colin Kaepernick. Plus, the thought of anger banging her would be way less satisfying if she started speaking progressively. Spokesman- Spokane school officials have suspended Ferris High School football coach Jim Sharkey as they investigate claims he exposed himself to players at a leadership camp last summer and then lied to cover it up.
Sharkey, who also teaches fitness and leadership at the school, strongly denies the allegations. His suspension is with pay. A couple of weeks after the camp, a Ferris player came forward and said that while Sharkey was grilling, he turned with his exposed penis inside a hot dog bun. Sharkey said, “You think that is a big dog – take a look at this,” according to school records that listed multiple different versions of the same quote. While the coach got a written reprimand and was allowed to coach this past fall, school officials placed him on administrative leave Feb. 1 after more players claimed to have seen the hot dog incident and other students brought up separate incidents of questionable behavior by the 11-year teacher and coach. Sharkey called the allegations false and denied in interviews and in writing to school officials that the hot dog incident took place. He vowed that he will fight to try to clear his name to protect what he considers his dream job. Asked by Templeton why someone would make the allegations, Sharkey replied: “Maybe they want me fired.” ----- Classic they said, he said! Did the high school football coach really serve up his Oscar Meyer wiener to his teenage players, or did said teenage players ban together to fabricate and corroborate a story about him doing so? The world may never know! The only thing more preposterous than an authority figure whipping his genitals out around a lit grill is someone making up a story about an authority figure whipping his genitals out around a lit grill, so I think I'm more inclined to believe the students here. But regardless of whether or not they are telling the true, I think we can all agree that this firing was long overdue. Honestly, does it even matter if Jim Sharkey is actually innocent? Legally it certainly does, but not on the gridiron. I'm sure he wants to clear his name, but does he really want to keep his job? The best case scenario is that this incident never took place and that his players hate him so much that they collectively tried to turn him into a red dot on an online map. To be frank, he's not even in the same 'Ball Park' as football's best disciplinarians if his locker room is only unifying to accuse him of exhibitionism in front of minors. I can't believe they let the guy stick around for another full season. Talk about leaving wins on the field. I don't care if he was forced to wear a cock cage the entire time, because he was only getting the wurst out of those brats if they spent every practice desperately awaiting the day that cop cars would pull up behind the goalposts. I think he is actually more likely to be a decent motivator if he did have his veiny triumphant bastard in that bun, because he definitely wasn't inspiring his team if they were turning their attention to dreaming up fratboy antics to get him fired.
It got a smirk out of me. A topical joke that incorporates a pertinent - albeit ridiculous - sports news story as well as the most relevant piece of pop culture. I can appreciate his sense of humor, but there's really one word of Cam Jordan's entire tweet that truly matters... "When". I'm glad someone's confident, because the window is a lot more closed than it is open. The amount of jerseys that Drew Brees is going to take off for the rest of his career is dwindling, and Lord willing that at least one of them will be worth stealing. I think even the owner himself would be cool with his defensive counterpart's decision to 'Get Out' with his timeless memorabilia if it meant that he actually got his hands on the trophy necessary to turn his dirty equipment into timeless memorabilia. Let's just hope Cam Jordan keeps doing what he does and uses that same hustle to swipe the ball from opposing quarterbacks, because the one thing that is true of all Super Bowl scandals is that you have to get to the goddamn Super Bowl to be a victim of them. I remain optimistic, but the 7-9 sunken place is a long ways off from that eventual inter-locker room investigation. NFL General Managers Have Blackballed Colin Kaepernick, And Their Reasoning Could Use Some Work3/21/2017
BR- It's more than a week into free agency and Colin Kaepernick is still unemployed. Remember, this is a quarterback who played in the Super Bowl only four years ago, yet now it appears he can't get a look from teams. So I set out to discover, once and for all, what teams think of the 29-year-old former Niner.
"He can still play at a high level," one AFC general manager said. "The problem is three things are happening with him. "First, some teams genuinely believe that he can't play. They think he's shot. I'd put that number around 20 percent. "Second, some teams fear the backlash from fans after getting him. They think there might be protests or [President Donald] Trump will tweet about the team. I'd say that number is around 10 percent. Then there's another 10 percent that has a mix of those feelings. "Third, the rest genuinely hate him and can't stand what he did [kneeling for the national anthem]. They want nothing to do with him. They won't move on. They think showing no interest is a form of punishment. I think some teams also want to use Kaepernick as a cautionary tale to stop other players in the future from doing what he did." ----- Well folks, we've finally found it. The line that General Managers won't cross when it comes to potentially improving their team. After decades upon decades of excusing their employees criminal behavior, we have finally unearthed the one transgression that NFL executives deem inexcusable... Kneeling in response to racial profiling and police brutality during the National Anthem. You can be caught up in rape allegations and still get drafted first overall a la Jameis Winston. You can more than likely be an accomplice in a murder and still have a statue constructed in your honor a la Ray Lewis. You can incoherently pass out drunk while in traffic and get picked up by a playoff team less than a week later a la Michael Floyd. You can punch your pregnant girlfriend in the stomach and still have the league fawning over your elusiveness a la Tyreek Hill. You can be videotaped shattering a college girl's jaw and still have a first round draft grade a la Joe Mixon. You can be a domestic abuser with absolutely no remorse and still get a second chance a la Greg Hardy. What you can't do, apparently, is view the American Flag in a different light than the people whose experience in this country is much different than yours, and it's simply because they sign your checks. Cause and reasoning be damned, because taking a knee during a song is undeniably the equivalent of pissing on a deceased Marine's grave before setting the stars and stripes on fire - regardless of whether or not you clearly state that your decision has absolutely nothing to do with the troops. You can dismiss the notion that he "can't play", because - while I am far from a Colin Kaepernick fan - I'd take him blindfolded over just about every other useless signal caller that has been wildly overpaid this offseason. You can take the "fear of backlash" with a grain of salt, because - historically speaking - that's hardly gotten in the way of trying to win before. That leaves one "legitimate" reason why Colin Kaepernick remains unsigned, and that reason is that NFL general managers "genuinely hate him". That's right. The people that run billion dollar businesses have blackballed a player at a premium position that could easily start for at least a handful of teams in the league for the same reason I won't eat a sandwich with mayo on it. All the sudden, personal distaste for a player takes precedence over his abilities on a football field. Imagine that. A bunch of rich old white dudes magically developed a conscience, and their first "cautionary tale" will be at the expense of a guy that thought bringing awareness to institutional racism was slightly more important than saluting a flag. The irony is that those that disagreed with Colin Kaepernick said his actions were disingenuous because he was making millions of dollars. Now, those same people are celebrating his unemployment while he spends the millions of dollars that he's no longer making on charitable endeavors. Man, if only the guy whose efforts were responsible for chartering a jet of essentials to a struggling country were a bit more likable. Maybe then someone would take a chance on the quarterback that had 16 touchdowns and 4 interceptions while playing with weapons that were about as effective as safety scissors...
The Thunder Fan In The Cupcake Costume Made The Accurate Alterations For Last Night's Game3/21/2017
No one - and I mean no one - was happier when they read the story about the Warriors being offended by the treatment of Kevin Durant in his return to Oklahoma City than the fan beneath the frosting. Make no mistake, the crutch was already out of the closet and she had every intention of diabolically adding it to her costume well before she saw the "super villains" whining that Kevin Durant wasn't given a hero's welcome the last time he was in town. However, the fact that they acted like Little Debbies in response to some run-of-the-mill trolling made the decision to cripple the cupcake that much more acceptable. Someone like myself? I would have laughed regardless, but for those with a conscience/moral compass it's much easier to rationalize making fun of a player's injury when it's a national story every time that player's team gets their feelings hurt. If you're the type of person to invest in a legitimate mascot outfit solely to mock the guy that spurned your city then you're more than likely the type of person that doesn't need justification for going overboard, but I would imagine it was still nice to have it gifted to her less than 24 hours before game time. This can easily be seen as a "oh you thought it was bad last time, you ain't seen nothing yet" alteration, but - in reality - it's something that was in the works since this spiteful, spiteful broad saw her former favorite player grabbing frantically at his knee. Personally, I appreciate the lack of fucks given just as much as I appreciate the Warriors encouraging that fuck-less behavior by acting like thin-skinned little bitches. Today In LaVar Ball News: He Chastised His Son's High School Coach For Costing Them The State Title3/20/2017
FTW- “Man, we were supposed to go to Sacramento, but that coach is hard-headed. He wanted to do things his way. If we would have gotten along, we would have been in the state title easy. But he’s trying to have a little resistance towards me. And I’m like, ‘Man, try and do it your way. That’s why you lost three games.’
“Because once he run and just play and when my son really wants to play for you, we’re gonna do good. But when you have any kind of resistance towards me, and you the head coach, it don’t work out that good. I already knew he was going to lose that game.” - LaVar Ball ---- Why do I get the feeling that "his way" involved coming back past half court once and awhile and at least pretending to play defense in the playoffs? Perhaps I'm just trying to put pieces together where they don't fit, but I think (know) we would have heard about it by now if LaVar Ball was upset with the coach's style when his son put up 92 points by playing like a complete asshole. Anyway, that's neither here nor there. Who really gives a shit whether or not Chino Hills (and their brand of basketball that would have killed John Wooden if he wasn't already dead) won their state title? Sucks that they lost, but I'm honestly just glad that LaVar Ball is proving that he's simply nothing more than a shit talker that will in noooo way interfere with the future careers of his children. Yeah, he criticized a high school coach that his son might have to play for again next year, but publicly blasting a local administrative official on a national media outlet is just his way giving constructive criticism. Clearly he just wants the best for all parties involved. Maybe his style of showing that is a little rough around the edges now, but surely he'll become more tempered as his kids get older, richer, and more famous. There's not much I know about LaVar Ball's coaching prowess, but I know it totalllllly would have been less hard-headed than whatever offense the actual coach was running that forced the Ball boys to miss 33(!) out of their 46(!) three pointers...
It really disappoints me that people would assume that the guy that already made his teenage sons targets before they fully went through puberty is in any way overbearing or detrimental to their development. Clearly he's just an expert motivator that only stopped talking them up until their unorthodox shots started falling.....and then he started yelling at anyone that would listen.
Okay, fine. Perhaps "bench Nazi" was a little harsh. Maybe the guy that has to pray that the event coordinators put out an exact amount of chairs has an important job to do that doesn't involve killing fun at a moment's notice. I just can't even begin to formulate a guess as to what that would be since he's a full six seats past the bench warmer he immediately gripped up. I would think someone that has any say whatsoever in what transpires on the court would at least be within shouting distance of Rick Pitino, so I think it's with good reason that I assume he's just Louisville's resident dictator of discipline. Regardless of this wet blanket's role in the program, I think we can all see the hilarity in him going after the frail white kid that looks like he made a pitstop at a 'Supercuts' on his way from his high school graduation to the second round of the NCAA tournament. I'm not saying he wouldn't have grabbed a 6'6 black player by the collar when he was using his breather to liven up the bench, but I have a feeling that interaction would have gone much, much differently if he did. This stickler probably just wanted to make his presence was felt on the big stage, and I would imagine the only way he's allowed to do so is by making sure the bench mob doesn't act like they've had one too many at a frat party and by double checking the statistician's math.
You should never associate with the type of person that tells you that you care too much about sports. It doesn't even matter whether or not it's true, because friends let friends feel bad about their fandom - no matter how obnoxious it is. That being said, if you do end up on the ass end of some shaming from the "it's just a game" crowd then make sure you have this GIF bookmarked on your phone. At the very least, watching an old man - that managed to fit 15 fashion faux pas into a three piece outfit - dance around like it's Mardi Gras during a game that his team wasn't even playing in will make you feel comparatively less crazy. Up until this point, the Blue Devils being down 7 with plenty of time left to go was the highest high of this geezer's day, and his day included watching his own team squeak out an undeserved win that sent them to the Sweet Sixteen. I thought I hated Duke, but apparently you can't truly hate Duke unless you risk the long-term health of your knees by jumping around and putting your hands in the air like you just don't care that a camera is undoubtedly going to catch you with enough cloth tucked into your pants to render underwear unnecessary. Eight and a half minutes is an eternity in college basketball, and this dude was already going full inflatable air dancer. I hope he took the day off today, because he's going to need at least 24 hours to let his heart rate get back to normal after the amount of celebrating he did last night. I didn't think it would be reached by someone rocking the jersey of a player he's old enough to have grandfathered, but the uncontainable joy that man derived at the expense of a rival's misfortune is peak sports hatred. |
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