I'm Genuinely Shocked People Haven't Started Blaming Steph Curry's Injury On The Quest For 73 Wins4/25/2016
Let me be clear. In no way do I think that Steph Curry's injury - that is now going to keep him out until at least the next round - is a result of treating every regular season game like it was a Game 7. Not only that, but I have no interest in discussing the possibility that it was. It was quite obviously a circumstantial situation that was the result of a vulnerable knee and a wet floor. With that said, I am absolutely stunned that I haven't heard that line of thinking yet. Is it because they are playing a dead team napping in the Houston Rockets? It has to be because they are playing the Rockets. The media is coasting through Round 1 right along with damn near every team that's participating. That's the only reason people haven't started assigning blame for something that's so harmful to the NBA postseason. If the Warriors lose Game 1 to (presumably) the Clippers people will be talking about how playing for history cost Golden State their chances at a championship, right? I refuse to believe that the internet smartened up and is treating this blow to the Warriors miraculous season rationally. Serious question, has anyone checked Skip Bayless' pulse? Did that fucker take the first vacation of his career? How come he isn't trolling us with takes about how selfish Steph Curry is for playing so many regular season games? Someone pinch him so he can throw out a ridiculous tweet that will work the internet into hysteria and force actual respected analysts to talk about the hypothetical consequences of trying to win every game on your schedule. I know it's coming, and I just want the two days of media coverage that are going to be completely dedicated to it to be over as soon as possible. Honestly, I hope this blog somehow reaches the right person and I am the one to start the madness, because I would love for that narrative to get beat to death before the first round is over. Mostly because I don't plan on paying attention to the NBA until the second round starts and there is competitive, high level basketball being played.
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Who's laughing now basketball fans?!? People thought the Lakers royally fucked themselves by waiting too long to fire Byron Scott, and subsequently missing out on hiring guys like Tom Thibodeau and Scott Brooks. HA! Shows what you guys know about team building. The NBA is a player's league. It' about catering to your talent and keeping them happy. Well, there is no more talented player on the Lakers roster than D'Angelo Russell and if there's one thing he thoroughly enjoys it's home wrecking. He may have started out with accidental snapchat breakups, but if there is a guy out there that can take his sexual misconduct game to the next level it's the head coach that essentially got himself fired by fucking an active player's estranged wife. How are Derek Fisher and D'Angelo Russell not a match made in hoops heaven? The problem with what the Lakers rookie did wasn't that it destroyed a professional locker room from the inside out, it's that there was no precedent for doing so beforehand. If you come to Los Angeles knowing that their coach is an adulterer and their starting point guard is a narc then you come knowing to keep any and all females as far away from the team as possible. Liars, cheaters, and manipulators need jobs too, ya know? Why wouldn't you have them work together? A morally bankrupt lefty point guard learning from a morally bankrupt coach that made his mark in the league as a lefty point guard? That sets the tone in the locker room. It makes sure the players understand each other, and rids them of any false sense of security. The Spurs sacrifice stats for wins, and the Lakers could sacrifice their wives and girlfriends for the collective sexual satisfaction of the team. Sharing is caring. With a combination of Derek Fisher and D'Angelo Russell the Lakers could basically plaster that motto above the entrance to their locker room. At the very least it would put an end to the crying over spilled milk and leaked admissions that turned this Lakers season from a disaster to a disgrace....
For all the people who counted this man out!!! Trust me when I tell you he is war ready, he is in the best shape of his life and a mindset of a King focused on the next territory to conquer! He will shock the NFL this year... Go shine like the star you are my guy!!! #warehousegang #nodaysoff #grindliketherentdue#itsbetterthisway #nfl and yeah that's 240 to 218!!!!
If you asked Trent Richardson to write down why he is barely in the NFL how far down the list do you think you have to go before you got to "I'm not good at running back"? I legit think he could rattle off at least 10 reasons as to why he is only temporarily employed and none of them even come close to mentioning his inability read blocks. In fact, I am pretty sure he was sitting in his apartment stumped by team's hesitancy to pick him up, and then the Alabama running backs had their annual meeting at the spring game. Trent Richardson overheard Eddie Lacy talk about how much weight he lost and just decided that was his problem. Now, don't get me wrong. Considering that Trent Richardson TWO HUNDRED AND FUCKING FORTY POUNDS being overweight was definitely one of his problems, but it's not nearly as detrimental to his career as his desire to ignore everyone else on his team and just run in whatever direction he so chooses. People see a trim Eddie Lacy and they think about the guy that used to run over the competition as an above average NFL halfback. People see a trim Trent Richardson and they think of the same thing as they do when they see a bulked up Trent Richardson: An absolute bust with a laughable lack of talent. I applaud his commitment to getting in shape, but he was probably better off fat. At least then he had an excuse that didn't highlight how bad he is at football.
Let me break it down for all those people wondering what those cleverly laced together words actually mean. Basically Tom Brady's suspension is being reinstated not because it was proven that he didn't act in accordance with league rules, but because it doesn't matter if he acted in accordance with league rules as long as Roger Goodell says he didn't. The Patriots won the DeflateGate argument in the sense that the NFL's "evidence" was circumstantial at best. The NFL won the DeflateGate argument in the sense that they never even needed evidence to begin with. The Wells Report? That was just 250+ pages to silence the critics and persuade the public. Why worry about proof when Roger Goodell is contractually permitted to be the judge, jury, and executioner regardless of whether or not he actually has any? In essence, Roger Goodell won because he can't possibly lose. Whatever he decides goes. Tom Brady's name was dragged through the mud for the better part of 6 months over a pump or two of air that probably weren't even missing from a football. He had to deal with allegations of lying and cheating. He had to take time away from preparing for the season to go to court and win the opportunity to be active to start the season. Yet somehow, someway, the victim here is Roger Goodell. Talk about the world's best loophole. It's not about who was right and who was wrong about what actually took place. It's about not having the ability to question the power of someone whose job description allows them to be inherently wrong. I know that shit really hit the fan when the NFL was locked out, but did ANYONE from the NFLPA even look at the CBA before they signed it? What the fuck were they fighting over if they were inevitably going to give ALL the power to the commissioner anyway? I feel like maybe they should have stopped worrying about monetary splits for 5 minutes to discuss whether or not one man should be given the ability to WHATEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS WHENEVER THE FUCK HE WANTS TO DO IT. Either way, I have got to give credit to Roger here. He possesses a dedication to winning that's quite possibly never been seen in the sports world. You know when you are beating your girlfriend's ass in an argument and she brings up some indefensible thing you did in the past? That's what Roger Goodell just did. Instead of admitting defeat he just decided to start playing an entirely different game. He's like the little kid playing cards in 'Big Daddy'. A 6, a 5, a jack, a 4, and an 8? I WIN!!! Do I Have To Start Respecting How Little James Harden Cares About What People Think Of Him?4/25/2016 Upon seeing this picture I came to a realization. I owe a countless amount of people in my life an apology. Don't take it personal because I truly didn't understand what I was doing until now, but I was lying to you every single time I said "I don't give a fuck". Don't be silly, I truly didn't care about whatever it was that we were discussing at the time. However, if James Harden laying down - potentially catching some Z's - about 3 inches from the court in the final minutes of a playoff game is the benchmark for "not giving a fuck" then I have ALWAYS given at least a half of one. We are talking about the most widely criticized superstar in the NBA. A player that went from an MVP candidate to coming into training camp out of shape. A player whose piss poor defense definitively stands out in a league full of shitty defense. A player whose own teammates hate him, and act like they are at a funeral when he makes a game winning shot. That player consciously decided to lay down like the Rastafarian Rip Van Winkle while his team was down 28 points in a postseason game. Steph Curry is over on the WINNNG bench crying actual tears because he aggravated his knee injury, and James Harden is basically taking a nap while the game is still going on. That's a level of apathy so unforeseen that I absolutely have to respect it. I just can't help but think that's a move that's anything but intentional. A move that says "if you're going to hate me anyway then I might as well give you another reason". I'm actually embarrassed that I have ever tried to claim indifference, because nothing I have done remotely compares to an NBA player deciding he's too tired to sit in a chair on national television. P.S. We have a winner!
Am I Supposed To Blindly Support Cam Newton For Playing Football With Some School Children?4/25/2016 Whoa, whoa, whoa...what exactly are we doing here? Are we just going to imply that Cam Newton did something that is worthy of praise? How can we be sure that his decision to sling a few balls around the yard with some excited school children was admirable until we see how he reacts after things didn't exactly go his way? You see him drop that ball? I saw at least 4-5 kids run the wrong route. Those enthusiastic little brats barely let him leave the pocket. He may have been smiling going in, but who is to say that he wasn't sitting on the bench with a towel draped over his head by the time recess came to an end? I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable pretending that Cam Newton is a decent person just because he interacted with the youth of America. I would have to see how he responded to the adversity that comes with throwing 40 yard bombs to elementary schoolers after the fact. Where's the postgame press conference for this one? Sure, "it's all for the kids" when his completion percentage is zero, but imagine if one of those punks actually managed to catch a ball. No doubt he would have been dabbing around in his cardigan making it all about himself. Too bad there was a bunch of 10 year old Ted Ginn's running around out there or we would have really seen Cam Newton's true colors. Such an arrogant dick. You may be surprised that he was yucking it up while playing against inferior competition, but I certainly won't let myself be fooled. Just wait until Week 1 against the Broncos. Let's see if he's still smiling then. P.S. The picture is pretty cool, but I would be lying if I said it didn't have a "Hitler youth" vibe... YardBarker- In a recent interview with GQ, Sherman was asked if he ever gets frustrated about how the media reports breaking news and stuff happening within an individual team’s locker room.
The response is perfectly Sherman: “It’s more funny than it is frustrating. I don’t really care. I think of it as them talking to a bunch of sheep who will believe anything anyway. So I just laugh,” Sherman said. “Because they have no idea. Every year they sit here and make all these predictions about who’s going to get drafted and where and how they have all this inside information, and then when the guys don’t get drafted there, and what they predicted doesn’t happen, there’s no ridicule.” Well it's about time somebody said it. Doesn't matter that Richard Sherman's harsh critique of an entire profession was completely unprovoked, because he brought up an excellent point. I have been saying for years thats scouts and draft analysts do nothing but create a competitive imbalance. What we should do is throw all the names of draft eligible players in a hat and have teams randomly select them that way. Who cares if the most talented quarterback ends up as a 7th round pick, how is that any different than Richard Sherman going in the 6th round after having his game studied critically? Why do we to continue to pigeon hole players into a draft slot when we can just let them step on an NFL field and prove it themselves. Forget about physical abilities and past experience. None of that stuff can truly determine how good a player is going to be the next level. Listen, I understand that Richard Sherman likely treats his own personal drafting as an insult, and thus has zero faith in the process. He doesn't make the worst point in the world. The job of a draft analyst is rather strange. A bunch of old men intently breaking down the physical attributes of kids that are fresh out of college does seem a little weird. That being said, it's a necessary evil. This guys aren't just blindfolding themselves and throwing darts at a wall full of names. Of course they are wrong sometimes. That's just the nature of the business. Not every profession is like playing cornerback in the NFL. If these dudes that spend their lives studying game tape get a projection wrong they aren't going to have that mistake constantly replayed on television for millions of people to see. If that's what Richard Sherman has a problem with then he basically has a problem with every single career path that isn't his own.
Ah crap. Okay, I have to raise my hand on this one. Sorry Dray, this is partially my fault. I implied that sports reporters need to stop asking contrived, cookie cutter questions and this guy really took that request to heart. I suppose he should know there's a middle ground between asking how to rebound and trying to correlate the height of flood waters with shooting percentage, but it appears my suggestion was lost in translation with this one. Try to take it easy on him next time. It appears we are still working out the kinks. Rome wasn't built in a day, and journalism wasn't corrected in a postgame. At the very least he has to get some points for originality. Credit where credit is due for the whole 'making it rain' to 'our entire city is being jeopardized by hazardous amounts of rainfall' connection. At least he's trying. Doesn't matter how many times this guy asks it, that's still not a question that you are going to hear repeated too often. I understand Draymond's refusal to properly respond to a nonsensical question that was sure to make him look bad, but maybe he could have been a LITTLE nicer about it. I can't help but think that answer was counter productive to the ultimate goal. That poor bastard is never going to try to be creative again. He stepped outside of the box ONE time, and Draymond Green stuffed him back inside of it, locked the door, and threw away the key. We need to be the change we wish to see in the world, and if we want reporters to be enlightened we have to show them the light. Not shoot daggers through the inexplicably inappropriate lightbulbs that pop up above their head when they try to think too hard. P.S. For future reference, if this guy is going to be asking a question he knows he shouldn't be asking then he should at least have it well rehearsed. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to keep it as short and "sweet" as possible either. Hey Henrik,
I just wanted to write you this letter to tell you I am sorry. I know, I know - that seems disingenuous considering I have despised you for so many years and I am only "penning" this following your eternal eviction from championship contention. However, isn't hatred that's based almost entirely on greatness the ultimate sign of respect? Annnnyway, I am just making you are aware that my animosity towards you no longer exists. Instead, it has transformed into pity. Maybe you don't need sympathy from a Devils fan that has always wished you nothing but disappointment, but I figured I would fill that void since you're not going to get it from your own organization. So try to ignore all of those GIF's I posted of random reality stars placing tiaras on their head, because every time I referred to you as "the queen" I did so with the upmost appreciation for your ability between the pipes. Ironically enough, the same franchise that pays you 8.5 million dollars a year and basically perpetuated this whole "King" nickname nonsense can't say the same. For as much as they have profited off your efforts, they have never aided in them. The endless desire to trade for aging veterans despite a rate of success that has Isiah Thomas revising his resume? The incredibly inflated extensions for players that range from below average to functionally handicapped? The inability to field a formidable roster despite playing in a city that inherently gives them a leg up on the competition? The New York Rangers franchise has done everything in their power to sully the name you have worked tireless to build for yourself, and I can't help but think that you have earned better treatment than that. In the interest of full disclosure Henrik, I was one of those dickhead Devils fans sitting on my couch praying upon your postseason downfall the last few seasons. Just know that it was all a product of my undying distaste for your employer. In fact, if there was one thing I didn't have a problem with as the Rangers tested my patience and continued to win in spite of themselves it was that you were finally getting the opportunities that you deserved. That undefeated streak in Game 7's that was maintained all the way up until last year? I tip my hat. To refer to it only as impressive would be a disservice. I never attempted to downplay your personal accomplishments as that GAA somehow managed to decrease every time the importance of the game increased. I simply tried to bring light to the fact that the ineptitude of your peers forced you to perform in that situation so often. The help that your teammates annually failed to provide you could not go without mention. Now, I am not going to stop mockingly chanting your first name each time Adam Henrique slips one by you. After all, I am primarily writing this to strong-arm the New York faithful into loathing themselves for agreeing with me. I can - however - make you one promise. Every time an uneducated Rangers fan tries to tell me that Marty Brodeur only has three Stanley Cups because of his supporting cast I will provide them this "friendly" reminder... The ONLY reason that you will FOREVER have NONE is because YOUR franchise failed to give you a comparable supporting cast. It's the least I can do for one of the best goalies of all time that will never be able to fill that trophy case enough to back up that claim. All the worst, Your most secretest of admirers P.S. Marty's better. P.P.S. So is Cory.
And there is the difference - the Chris Ash difference. It's not that we haven't seen these cutesy, team building, "boys being boys" videos from Rutgers football before. It's just that it used to be the ONLY thing we used to see. We would see the team being cohesive off the field, not the team doing the grunt work to become cohesive on the field. I obviously don't know the inner working of a Kyle Flood run spring practice just as I don't know the inner workings of a Chris Ash run spring practice. I do know that I have seen far more videos of these guys being molded into tough, aggressive football players than I have of them letting loose and enjoying the fruit of their labors. Never in a million years could I imagine Kyle Flood running a 'Ring Of Honor' drill that did such a good job of testing the pure will of the players. Let's just say no one was fighting tooth and nail over a truck tire in the wee hours of the morning the last few years. If there's one thing that's been shockingly obvious throughout this regime's short tenure it is a drastic uptick in intensity. Now, it's important to keep things light every once and a while - and Chris Ash obviously understands that - but the difference is that now it's clear that they are being forced to earn every one of those opportunities. Boy did they look like they enjoyed every second of this opportunity.
Raise your hand if you thought Josh Norman was going to be responsible for the most encouraging piece of Saints news this offseason. Okay, now keep your hand raised if you thought Josh Norman was going to be responsible for the most encouraging piece of Saints news this offseason without actually becoming a Saint. You're all filthy liars, every last one of you. As a fan, I usually trust in what Drew Brees wants so I guess it sucks that the Saints weren't able to lock up one of the best defensive backs in football. They did, however, get something better and that is the unintentional confirmation that Drew Brees is willing to sacrifice some of his contract to help this franchise. I have no idea if paying a corner that has no more than two good seasons under his belt $75 million over 5 years would have panned out. With the Saints recent history in free agency I certainly have my doubts. I do know that if the goal is improvement - and inevitably another championship - then paying Drew Brees $30 million this season DEFINITELY wouldn't have panned out. No, I never really thought this team was going to give it's 37 year old quarterback that much money when they have so many other holes to fill, but I am just glad it's finally out in the open. I don't know when, but Drew Brees just indirectly implied that he will be signing an extension. Whew, that just feels so good to finally type out with authority. God bless Josh Norman. Not just for being far too expensive for a division rival to hold onto, but for being so talented that he made Drew Brees show his cards. Wouldn't you believe it, it's a hand that the entirety of the Who Dat Nation can finally - after months of waiting - feel comfortable going all-in on. WWL- Cops are looking very seriously now into some witness reports and allegations that the former Saints player retrieved a gun from his car before he was shot and killed in a confrontation with another driver.
A source close to the investigation tells WWL First News that detectives are working to determine definitively if allegations are true that Smith not only got his gun out of his car, but fired at least one shot. The defense attorney for Cardell Hayes has suggested that his client did not shoot Smith's wife, Racquel. He indicated that ballistics testing would prove that the wounds to her legs were not from his client's bullets. The source tells WWL First News that detectives are investigating if it was actually Smith who accidentally shot his wife as she intervened to try and stop the confrontation. Hayes admits, through his lawyer, that he shot Will Smith multiple times - killing him. Attorney John Fuller says it was self-defense. One of the men Smith had been eating with just before his killing, Reserve Police Officer Billy Ceravolo, has now hired a lawyer. That comes amid allegations he helped put Smith's gun back in the car after the shooting. Investigators want to know if he helped cover up the truth. The retired NOPD captain has since been stripped of his reserve status with the department. Okay, this is a lot to digest. Let's break this allegation down to it's bare bones for accuracy purposes... 1) Will Smith shot his gun first. 2) Will Smith then turned away from his apparent target - who also had a gun - and got back in his car where he was shot 7-8 times. 3) At some point when all that was happening Will Smith's wife was shot twice in the leg, but she wasn't shot by the same person that put over a half dozen bullets in her husband so she was presumable shot by her own husband. I am not exactly Clint Eastwood so I don't know the unwritten rules of gunplay, but if this accusation is indeed accurate then Will Smith made Plaxico Burress look like Chris Kyle. The scary part is that the narrative is so outlandish that part of me thinks it could be true. Fortunately that part of me also realizes that it took Cardell Hayes and his legal team two weeks to come up with it. They may not be Dr. Suess or William Shakespeare, but if you give anyone 14 days they'll be able to create a story that paints them in a positive light. Do I know exactly what happened on that fateful night? No, but I do know that when one party's story gets altered every three days it kind of loses it's authenticity. These ever changing indictments of the deceased may sway the opinions of the public, but I doubt they'll be enough to get an admitted murderer a not guilty ruling. Especially considering the prosecution's account of what happened on April 9th has remained consistent since April 9th.
No, seriously. By the time I found out that the Saints were "in" on Josh Norman I had enough time to say "how is that even possi..." before I read that he was officially a Redskin. It's all for the best I suppose. I am not exactly a cap guru (and I wasn't about to put the time into becoming one on a Friday night), but everyone that knows anything about salaries seems to think the Saints are already getting bent over the barrel by them. That being said, if you left me alone with my own thoughts for long enough I would have convinced myself that Josh Norman was going to be bullying Cam Newton from the other side of the rivalry next year. Doesn't matter how much evidence to the contrary there was, if I had been given ten more minutes there would have been visions of pick 6's dancing around in my head. What can I say? It's the optimist in me. Credit to Sean Payton for doing his best to lock down the outside by trying to get another (shoutout to Delvin Breaux) shutdown corner, but I can only imagine it was nothing more than due diligence. I can't see the "I know you just got let go from the Panthers because they didn't think they could pay you, but how do you feel about sticking it to them by coming to New Orleans for 6 cents on the dollar?!?" sell working too well. I tip my hat to Josh Norman and his representation for trying to leverage as much money out of the Redskins as possible, but using the team that barely has enough available cash to draft a 7th round punter was probably a questionable choice. Oh well, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I'm just glad that Sean Payton still has the gumption to be launching up buzzer beaters on the heels of his 5 year extension. P.S. 50 million GUARANTEED?!? Guess Josh Norman doesn't even have to worry about the fact that Daniel Snyder free agents notoriously fall flat on their face. Not that the Saints recent free agency history is all that much better.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you misunderstand? No, Duke Ihenacho doesn't care about Josh Normal getting paid. Well, he kind of does, but only in the sense that it's sure to put money in his own pocket too. Hey, it's a cutthroat business out there. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do to put food on the table, and that 1 year, 1.6 million dollar contract is leaving Duke a course or two short. Seems a little silly for him to care more about profiting off his current number than his team improving, but playing for a winner doesn't pay the bills unless that winner employs a cornerback that makes 15+ million per season and has an undying devotion to the #24. Either way, nothing prolongs negotiations like an insulting original offer. Take whatever figure you had in mind and double it Josh, because Duke is not unfamiliar to how much you love that 2-4. There will be no beating around that bush. He's probably going to be sharing a secondary at some point so it's best you don't fracture that relationship before it starts by lowballing the backup strong safety. Oh yeah, and the Redskins have a tradition (totally not tarnished by their team name, btw), and play against Odell twice a year. You know, in case you needed another reason to go there besides your favorite number being on sale for the steepest of prices. P.S. According to my research (one Google Image search), Duke has already worn at least 3 different jersey numbers for the Redskins. Looks like he's got pretty good timing. Double standards exist. I am not saying we have to like the fact that they exist, but they exist. This little hussy that's demanding answers about why her sexual needs weren't met? She's been a victim of double standards. She's probably been called a slut by hundreds of her peers, and I bet a large majority of those peers were men who were also out there whoring themselves around without being labeled a "slut". That's just how the world works. Women that go into first dates with the expectation of getting laid are sluts, and men that go into a first dates with the expectation of getting laid are - well - men. In the same vain, men that turn down a woman's advances when they have yet to have sex with her aren't considered men at all. Women have to answer questions when they actively look for sex, and men have to answer questions when they actively avoid it. Seems pretty simple to me. Especially considering the fact that she's basically laid out every option in multiple choice form... Q: Why didn't you fuck me? A) I'm gay. B) I have a small dick. C) I have a broken dick. D) You're ugly. E) All of the above. I must say, pretty thorough job by her. I can't seem to think of any other reason as to why this guy wouldn't want to have sex with a new, accepting vagina. Don't want to get "raped" for an explanation? Just circle one and move on because this isn't the SAT's and you don't lose points for a wrong answer. You do, however, lose respect by cowardly dodging the question you gay virgin with the tiny broken dick. h/t Metro Blackhawks Announcer Pat Foley Got Censored While Whining About The NHL's Late Start Times4/22/2016 Will someone get him his binkie! Dammit Pat, where did your mother put that blankie of yours? You see what you've done NHL? You tried to satisfy the fan's inherent desire to actually watch as much of your product as possible and you kept Pat Foley up past his bedtime. Now he's so cranky that he can't even get through the third period of a tightly contested playoff game without incessantly crying into the microphone. Thanks a lot Gary Bettman. You could have solved this entire problem by scheduling every single postseason game to start at 6PM EST. That'll make sure everyone is tucked in nice and early. Give the people what they want, and that's obviously the inability to catch all the action without having four flat screen televisions simultaneously broadcasting in their living rooms while it's still light outside. Let's just cross our fingers that they find a more time efficient solution than those pesky sudden death overtimes. That is what's really holding back the entertainment value of the NHL playoffs. As the saying goes, nothing good ever happens after midnight. That means it's basically impossible to enjoy anything that happens after the second period of Blackhawks games. It's a shame too, because these games would really be exciting if they just started 90 minutes earlier. Typical NHL. I don't even know why I am surprised that they are sacrificing our 8 hours of sleep to give us more hockey to watch. Oh well, I'm not falling for it. Guess I'll just have to catch the highlights when I wake up. Wouldn't want to throw my REM cycle off, or - god forbid - I might need a second cup of coffee in the morning. Seriously though, a tip of the hat to NBCSN for taking an axe to this buzzkill and his mid-game whining. I can only pray his partner threw a cup of cold water in his face and reminded him that he's commentating a sport whose athletes that have no problem putting their bodies on the line until the wee hours of the morning. The least he can do is quit his bitching from his cushy leather chair.
Is it fair to say that Charles Barkley means more to the Houston Rockets organization than any current member of the team? I know James Harden is a great offensive player and all, but it's got to be downright infuriating to root for him when he's contributed GREATLY to their fall from grace. As far the rest of the team? Well - considering that they look like they would rather be ANYWHERE else during a win - I think it's safe to say that none of them are going down in franchise lore... I know Charles Barkley is far from a Houston Rockets great. I know he was just a great player that happened to finish out his career with the Rockets. He put up some decent numbers while he was there, but while he was there he was in his mid-30's and battling injuries that eventually cost him said career. Now, I'm not going to tell you that Chuck was out there diving for balls every night, but I feel pretty comfortable saying that he gave more of an effort than James Harden. In fact, I find it damn near impossible to give less of an effort than James Harden. Charles Barkley probably gives more of an effort than James Harden when he's wheezing up a storm as he fucks around with Kenny Smith on the set of 'Inside The NBA'. Hell, he might exude more energy standing up when the show is over than James Harden does on the defensive end. That fake hustle that Rockets CEO Tad Brown referred to? Far more commendable than the non-existent hustle that this current Rockets team shows on a regular basis. I understand Tad Brown defending his team but he also needs to realize that when you defend the indefensible, you always look wrong. Maybe let the Rockets fans keep their glorified memories of the Chuckster, because those memories are undoubtedly far better than any that this joke of a playoff team is going to give them. If were judging by this graphic than Tad Brown wins the argument, but when you're arguing on behalf of Dwight Howard can you ever say you truly won? I am sorry Joey. It's not your fault. You're probably a great guy. Given this woman's affection for you I would venture to guess you're either a hell of a ball player or (more likely) a rather attractive one. Unfortunately, without seeing so much as one at-bat of your career I am going to have to hope it comes to a screeching halt as soon as possible. If not for me then for the fine fans of Cincinnati and the prolonged health of their eardrums. They don't deserve that. Hell, no one does. This may be the only time I have ever said this in a non-sexual manner, but take a look at that chick's mouth. Looks like she could stuff a full hot dog in the left cheek and still manage a half decent "VOTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" out of the right side of her mouth. You know how people that actually know how to do laundry have matching socks and roll them together during the folding process? At the risk of sounding like I am promoting domestic violence, this broad's mouth looks like it's begging to be filled by the world's largest pair of knee highs. If I could make my way into Yao Ming's laundry basket I would break the 4th wall and hand the contents right to the guy sitting at the end of the row. I don't know if the guy in the white hat is fucking this girl or trying to fuck this girl, but I do know his relationship to her can be described with one word - enabler. The worst kind of an enabler too. The kind of enabler that doesn't have enough respect for those around him to suffer through his girl's insufferable flaws alone. You see the way the guy in the black hat slugged that beer and cringed at the end? Wouldn't be surprised if we just witnessed the end of a friendship. Bros before hoes dude, bros before hoes. Especially when your "hoe" has been given a restraining order to stay 1,000 feet away from every department store that sells mirrors, and is pining to ditch you for the Reds first baseman.
That exchange right there? The one where Keyshawn Johnson defended his son's honor when it was unintentionally questioned? That was the online equivalent of a high school player looking on completely embarrassed as his father yells at the coach about playing time from the crowd. I'm not here to hate on how anyone handled this situation, just bringing light to exactly what the situation is. This reporter almost started a shit storm because - ironically - he doesn't know how to use words and doesn't understand implications, and Keyshawn Johnson reacted accordingly. I'm sure Mitch Sherman wasn't doubting whether a much sought after 4-star recruit like Keyshawn Jr. was going to catch some passes in his career, but I'll be damned if you couldn't infer that from his original statement. Fucking Mitch, just sitting there poking and prodding a man known for his inability to shut up while that man's son looks on humiliated. Not understanding that a parent is going to do their damnedest to protect the nest from even the most harmless of predators whether it makes them look stupid or not. Even mention that his son not catching a pass during his college career is a possibility and Keyshawn is coming out of the bleachers to give you a piece of his mind. He'll look down at his phone after to see a text message from his son that says "DAD! STOP!", but there's no chance he wouldn't do the same damn thing again in the future. My advice to the three parties involved? Mitch, tweet better. Keyshawn, relax. Keyshawn Jr., get used to it.
Let me be quite clear here, if you are a sports fan and you are still thinking of voting for Donald Trump then you need to reconsider whether or not you're a sports fan. Don't change your political affiliation because if you haven't jumped ship already then you are better off drowning with the Donald, but maybe think about taking up a hobby other than professional athletes because you are ruining it for the rest of us. We are talking about a man that didn't respect sports enough to check whether or not Joe Paterno was a corpse before speaking in West Bumblefuck, Pennsylvania. A man that thought the mention of Tom Brady would be worthy of a round of applause in fucking MARYLAND. As if that wasn't bad enough, we just found out that very same man doesn't know when to shut the fuck up at sporting events. I can't emphasize this enough, a vote for Donald Trump is a vote for every single person that has ever asked you a question about the rules before the whistle. It's a vote for every single person that's every tried to mention work, school, life, or - god forbid - politics during sudden death overtime. This is actually a bigger red flag for me than the fact that Trump is a complete bigot, because I can sit next to a bigot at a hockey game as long as he's quiet. I can't stress this enough, voting for Donald Trump is the equivalent of voting for your girlfriend to take sole ownership of your second season ticket. Just think about that the next time you support the "land of the free" building a fucking wall around it's perimeter. The Flyers and their fans may have no problem disrespecting the honor of their fallen founder by turning his memorial game into a scene from 'Slap Shot', but after that tribute video and this story I am ready to pay a visit to his gravesite. I may not have known Ed Snider from the war vet sitting at the end of the bar before two weeks ago, but that man deserves every ounce of my appreciation. Not just for helping to build the game of hockey, but for realizing that loud mouthes like Donald Trump are too goddamn boisterous to let us enjoy it in (relative) peace. R.I.P. Ed... |
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