Larry Brown Sports- Endzonescore.com’s Adam Grice reports that one issue for Mariota is a contract clause that would prevent the former Heisman Trophy winner from surfing. Most contracts for professional athletes prevent them from doing dangerous activities that could potentially lead to injuries, so this is nothing unusual. But it may be a sticking point for Mariota.

Mariota is from Hawaii, where surfing is a pastime. Though he has said he’s more of a bodyboarder than surfer, he still enjoys surfing and reportedly would not want to be prevented from doing it. Surfing can help a player unwind both mentally and physically, especially when dealing with such a taxing sport and spotlight, so it’s understandable why he would not want to be stopped from doing it. 


Oh Marcus you adorable, naive little Hawaiian you. I suppose a part of me does respect the fact that he thinks he has the upper hand here. Plus, it's like the first time he's shown he has an attitude in his entire life so that could bode well moving forward. Still, the chances of the Titans stinking next year, whether or not Marcus Mariota plays, are pretty good. On the other hand, the chances of Marcus Mariota making a significant amount of money playing football next year are next to none if he doesn't, oh I don't know, sign a fucking contract. That whole '#2 overall draft pick' is pretty much only worth bragging rights until it manifests itself in the form of a multi million dollar deal. I'm sure the guy loves surfing, but hell, I love pizza and I would burn Papa John at the stake for a 7 figure salary. Sure, I'm just your average, everyday schmuck, but so is Marcus Mariota if he isn't getting paid to play football. I have a novel idea. How about you 'hang ten' on Tampa in the first quarter of week one before you go making contract demands? Outperform your rookie deal and the Titans will pay you enough to buy your own ocean, never mind give a fuck what it is that you do in it.

I, by no means, think that Mariota is a dumb person, but NFL players have certainly found a proclivity towards hurting themselves in the most foolish of ways. When you combine a recreational activity that requires physical exertion with something as volatile and unpredictable as the ocean you open yourself to a world of possibilities. Hey, I'm sure surfing does provide Marcus with a release from football. I'm sure it is good for his mental health. Unfortunately for Marcus, The Tennessee Titans don't give a fuck if he's a schizophrenic sociopath as long he is tossing touchdown passes. They aren't paying him to be at ease mentally, they are paying him to perform physically. I can't remember the last time that a quarterback who lost a leg to a shark has turned around the fortunes of a franchise. With his questionable accuracy and his reliance on his athletic ability I think it might be pretty smart to have Mariota avoid the 'Blue Crush' and all the risks associated with it. Especially since their have been more shark attacks in the last 10 days than capable franchise quarterbacks in the last 10 years. 

P.S. .....Or just sign the contract, surf behind their back, and then lie about it when you inevitably get hurt like any real professional athlete would.

Larry Brown Sports- Gregg Popovich is one of the most successful coaches in NBA history. And if the only way the five-time champion is going to add a sixth Larry O’Brien trophy to his collection is by staying up until midnight to talk to free agents, Pop wants no part of it.

The NBA free agency period will officially begin at midnight on Tuesday. By rule, that is when teams are allowed to start recruiting players and negotiating with them. But anyone who wants to talk to Popovich will have to wait a few more hours.

“I’m not calling anyone at midnight,” he said Monday, per Buck Harvey of the San Antonio Express-News. “I’ll be in bed. And if that’s the difference in someone coming or not coming, then I don’t want them.”


"Free agency? Is that like, important or something? Hmm, I wonder why literally every single person associated with the NBA is pounding coffees and making sure their phones are fully charged. Wasn't the draft last week?"

Ain't nothin' but a G thank babaaaay, Greg Pop hittin' the sac at 10 thirttttay! Look, the NBA is Gregg Popovich's livelihood, so I am not saying that he will be completely off the grid once midnight hits, but would it really shock if that were the case? And if that is the case, it's absolutely refreshing. In fact, I hope he stays up all night and just hits the 'fuck you' button to every single person that calls just to prove a point. I hope he changes his voicemail message to "I ain't got no worries". By now, everyone knows that the NBA is a player driven league. Superstars constantly get executives fired or their teammates traded. It's not very often that you can say that the coach has the talent by the balls. That's why this is such a power move by Gregg Popovich. You know how much power and respect you have to have amongst a bunch of rich, entitled athletes to tell them that your sleep is more important than their future? You want to sign with the Spurs you will do so on his watch. Shit, I hope he starts making calls at 6AM and wakes THEM up. He's not getting into bidding wars at 2AM. He's too old for that shit. He has too much clout. Too many championships. He needs his sleep for when the real work has to get done come October. Every year his team is considered too old, yet virtually every year they win 50 games. They didn't need any hired guns to go to the finals in 2013, or demolish LeBron and company in 2014. Hell, if it wasn't for a super human performance by Chris Paul and Blake Griffin they probably would have been in the conference finals again this year.

It's gotten to the point where the only thing you can guarantee in the NBA is that Greg Popovich will be fielding a legitimate contender come May. Would Lamarcus Aldridge be a huge addition to the San Antonio Spurs? Of course. However, do you think Lamarcus Aldridge is making any decisions about his future without talking to Gregg Popovich? Do you think he would turn down the opportunity to meet with a head coach with 5 championships that has turned an eerily similar power forward, Tim Duncan, into one of the best big men of all time? Fuck no. Greg Popovich isn't going to sleep because he doesn't care about acquiring these players, he's going to sleep because he knows he can. He knows he has the respect of every single person employed by the NBA. He knows at the end of the day any player that wants to play for the Spurs needs him more than he needs them. Not only is there no player that is more important than the team, but there isn't even a player that's more important than his REM cycle.

Metro-  For £50, patrons could enjoy a naked haircut, and it was said to be so popular that customers were queueing down the street.

But the unusual venture’s popularity was also its downfall – as drunken customers often tried to enter a nearby centre for autistic children after confusing the doors of the two very different establishments.

Ludmila Mihailova, the school’s headmistress, said: ‘We could not let the kids out into the playground any longer, there were so many drunken men around trying to get into the building’.

And an undercover police officer was shocked after he went undercover at the salon to investigate reports of drug dealing, and was offered an optional service for £100 where he could be naked during the haircut too.


Regular client Sergey Voronov said: ‘Once you get inside you get met by a girl with big breasts who offers you a cup of coffee and flirts with you. The lights are turned down and they then start to talk about what services they can offer.

‘They do pedicures and manicures as well as the haircuts. The longer you end up sitting there the more you pay’.

But the salon’s managers have refuted suggestions that what they were doing was prostitution – as the hairdressers do not have sex with the clients.

However, in the footage taken by the police officer he is given the option of booking more time with the girl that gave him the haircut – at a cost of £400.



Listen, I'm not one to pass on looking at a nice Russian rack right in my face for 15-20 minutes, but I have a strict policy on mixing sexuality and grooming. No. Fucking. Thanks. Hell, even shower sex is overrated. I had a friend that used to have his girlfriend shave his back. Long story short. I don't think I will ever look at hair removal the same way again. Sure, in theory it seems pretty relaxing to sit back in a chair, guzzle down a coffee, and have a hot little minx chat you up about current events in the nude. In practice, much less sexy. Fucking hair flying all over the place. Then you have a weird salon boner that you can't hide because your arms are at you side. Haircuts are supposed to be relaxing. There is nothing relaxing about having a erection in a public place. Even if it common in their place of business. We start giving nude haircuts then we're only one step from nude dentistry, and it takes a real sick son of a bitch to get turned on as someone is prodding around your mouth with a sharp piece of metal. 

I have an idea. Why don't we save the sexuality for sexual places? You know instead of having a bunch of communist pervs getting drunk and standing on line to overpay for a haircut in the middle of the day. Guys, guys, guys. Save your money. Hit a barber shop and save the excess cash for the titty bar. I would imagine drunkenly stumbling into a center for autistic children when you were just trying to get a naked haircut is quite the reality check. At least take your business somewhere you are accepted. Somewhere you don't have to wait in line and it's not frowned upon to be a sexual deviant. Can't remember a time I have ever waited in line to get into a strip club, and if I am going to walk out of a place of business dirty it better not be a place I paid to clean me up a bit. 

P.S. The happy ending seems pretty enticing since everyone feels better about themselves after a haircut. However, if you are going to go the prostitution route wouldn't you prefer someone who works the shaft as a profession instead of someone that focuses strictly on your head?

Free agent DeAndre Jordan is likely looking to sign a four-year deal that allows him to opt out after three seasons, which would nullify the Los Angeles Clippers’ advantage in keeping the center, sources told ESPN on Tuesday.

Sources, though, told ESPN that Jordan wants a bigger role in the offense and is tired of being a third wheel behind Chris Paul and Blake Griffin with the team.


My face after I read this...

Hahahahahaha. Hold on. Give me a minute. Hahahahahaaha. I can't stress this enough. If DeAndre Jordan thinks he is going to do better than being the 3rd scoring option on an NBA basketball team he better be prepared to lose and lose a lot. I don't want to critique DeAndre too much because he is probably the best rebounder in the game and easily one of the best rim protectors. That should be enough. He's going to get the MAXIMUM amount that a player can get per year to do exactly what he is amazing at. The beauty of Jordan's game is that he probably isn't worth max money, but he's going to get it anyway. If Jordan didn't have Chris Paul as a teammate we would be talking about a guy that averages 6 points a game. 

I think it's wonderful that he wants to expand his game to become an offensive threat. I also think it's wonderful when children want to be astronauts. Hell, I want to be DeAndre Jordan, but let's be honest, that's just not going to happen. Not everyone can be like Mike, and certainly not a guy that shoots 40% from the free throw line. The number one requirement of a primary scoring option is the ability to score, and I don't care how much he practices, it's an ability that he just simply does not have. He has zero post moves. Zero touch around the rim. Zero jump shot. And zero ability to hit a foul shot when he is actually able to use his athleticism to get to the line. I honestly can't think of a big man in the league that has less offensive potential. Put DeAndre's talent in Kendrick Perkins body and you have a guy that would barely be sniffing the D-League.

I don't ask for much DeAndre. Just a minuscule amount of self awareness. If you want to leave for 'greener pastures' because you like another roster better, or you want to move closer to your hometown than fine. However, don't leave the Clippers looking to suddenly become a 20 PPG player. It's not going to happen because it's not realistic. Even if teams tell you they will give the opportunity to become that they will have a change of heart once they see you play with your back to the basket for more than 5 seconds. If the requirements are a winning situation with the opportunity to average a double-double then the best scenario is the one you are already in. God blessed you with the ability to jump, dunk, and defend. Don't spit in his face by trying to become a scorer. The only way your contract becomes a bad one is if it is predicted on offensive ability. 

MSN-  It may not have been the fastest getaway, but police are searching for a man in a wheelchair who robbed a bank in New York City.

It happened at the Santander Bank in Queens shortly after 2 p.m. Monday.

Police say a man in his late 20s and wearing a grey hoodie wheeled into the bank and passed a note to the teller demanding cash. After receiving over $1,200 in bills, police say the suspect then fled westbound on Broadway in the wheelchair.

He remains at large.


Can't knock the hustle. Listen, if a man in a wheelchair is slick enough, or encounters people that are dumb enough, to let him flee a bank from a bank with $1,200 in cash then that man deserves his money. Do we really have to waste our time tracking down every man in a wheelchair in the city to find our culprit? That's like shooting fish in a barrel. If you couldn't catch the guy when he slowly wheeled his ass down the street then you don't deserve to catch him now. Call it a loss. The only thing worse than letting a handicapped man steal from you is hunting a handicapped man down in the streets days later and putting him in prison. Isn't his life hard enough without having the use of his legs in a jail cell. Consider it charity. I can promise you the guy that was so desperate for money that he robbed a bank and risked not having someone there to open the door for him really needs that money. 

One time I was in New Orleans and a homeless person said to me "I bet you $5 I can tell where you got your shoes", and of course, like an idiot, I obliged. To which he told me "you got your shoes on Bourbon Street right about now". Then he proceeded to shine my shoes for the small price of $5 dollars. Did I refuse him the money? Did I run down the street and tackle him afterwards? Absolutely not, because when you get outsmarted by someone less fortunate, like a homeless person or a handicapped guy, you just accept that the only person at fault is you. I paid $5 for my stupidity, and the bank has to pay $1,200 for theres.  Just accept that you got had, laugh at yourself, and move on. There are a lot worse things going on in New York City than a man without the use of his lower body having a hot meal and a cold beer on the bank's tab.

NY Post- The leader of the city’s female firefighters has sparked outrage for blasting “white boys” and “white privilege.”

Sarinya Srisakul, president of United Women’s Firefighters, is taking heat from fellow Bravest after some found her online comments.

They read:

‘“These white boys crying and complaining over this because their white privilege is being messed with. Trying living a life being racially profiled!!!!”’

Critics say Srisakul violated the FDNY’s social-media policy when she posted the comments in November. The policy bars statements that bring the department into disrepute, but some firefighters say Srisakul gets away with it because she is “politically correct.”

Srisakul, who failed the Fire Academy twice before graduating after a third try, has been outspoken about the FDNY’s hiring criteria, calling some requirements unfair to women.



It as no more than 24 hours ago that I was blogging that white privilege quite obviously exists in this country. Don't worry, I still stand by that. White people, and specifically white males, receive a lot more leeway in society. With that said, there are only a certain amount of ethnic groups I feel have the right to call us out on it. Black people can have a field day. When's the last time you have heard a derogatory generalization of white males from a black person and didn't sit back and say "well, we deserved that one". Mexicans can sneak in a shot here and there. Even middle eastern people can cry foul with the amount of discrimination they have endured since 9/11. However, I draw the line at Asians. 

Listen lady, the amount of "white boys" crying about our white privilege being "messed with" is about equal to the amount of Asian women being racially profiled. What were you profiled as a math genius? Did someone ask you an engineering question that you couldn't answer? Other than eating dogs Asians have literally all the good stereotypes. Why don't we save the word 'profiled' for those that have to suffer through the negative connotations of the word. On the totem pole of social acceptability Asians are creeping right up our ass as a close second. What the fuck are you mad at? Are you mad because women are treated unfairly, or mad because Asians are treated unfairly? Last time I checked calling the hiring criteria 'unfair to women' has nothing to do with 'living a life as racially profiled'. You just going to throw a bunch of shit at the wall and see what sticks? Why stop there? You sure you aren't Jewish or Muslim too? Let's bang out the trifecta of prejudice. Let's face facts, if this woman was subject to any kind of profiling it's because the fire department probably expected an Asian firefighter to be skinny and smart, not some obese broad that failed the entrance exam twice. God forbid they didn't think Yokozuna's dumb ass could get up the stairs and save a baby from a burning building in a timely manner. It's easy to cry that you are being judged by things that you can't control, like race and gender, instead of by the things you can control, like weight and knowledge. Maybe ease up on the egg rolls and hit the books for month or two before you go crying about racism and sexism, because I have never seen a white male with failing test scores and a similar body type working as a firefighter. 

Yahoo Sports-  Melnick: “Somebody in the know is telling me something happened with Mike Richards at a border crossing.”

Pierre: “Correct … I’m not going to talk about it until it’s made public. I have a pretty good idea of what’s happened.”

Melnick: “So the information I have, you can confirm that?”

Pierre: “Your information is probably pretty accurate.”

Earlier, ESPN.com said it was because of an ‘off-the-ice incident’ the team was made aware of Friday.

Several sources told ESPN.com the Kings were made aware of the situation Friday, approximately an hour after the first round of the 2015 NHL draft had begun.

The Kings announced they put Richards on unconditional waivers Sunday. He cleared, and a regular buyout was expected. At the time it seemed like LA was acknowledging a mistake from the prior summer by not using a compliance buyout on Richards, who hadn’t notched more than 44 points in a season with the Kings since his trade to LA in 2011.

Then the team announced the termination of the deal.


Never change Mike Richards, never change. If you had asked me yesterday what the odds were that Richards contract termination was due to drugs I would have given you a solid 75% chance. With news that this occurred at the border I am upping that to about 99.9%. I'll leave .1% wiggle room on the off chance that he was smuggling a stripper back in his trunk. Other than that, can't really think of too much that can happen at a border crossing that could cause you to lose $25+ million dollars. Part of me needs to know if it was the Canadian border or the Mexican border, but the other part of me knows that with Mikey Rich is doesn't even matter. 

Take this as a lesson NHL players. It's okay to abuse drugs and alcohol. In fact, it's okay to abuse drugs and alcohol and transport them over the border. Just don't do so when your employer is begging for a reason to get rid of you. You think the Kings would terminate the contract of Richards' butt buddy Jeff Carter if he got caught bringing narcotics over the border? Hell no they wouldn't. Jeff Carter is capable of scoring 30 goals a year, not languishing between the 4th line and the AHL while making over $5 million dollars a year. Shit, if I were a member of the Kings staff I would have planted the drugs on him and notified border patrol. They should have been able to terminate his contract on the grounds that he has been stealing from the organization for years. I just can't feel bad for a guy that gets busted for drugs when he was one low-key weekend from getting traded or bought out. Hope that crazy weekend in Tijuana or Toronto was worth it. How many lines of blow off a stripper's ass can you buy with 25 million? Probably should have pushed that trip back a week Mikey. 

How much do the Kings hate Mike Richards? I don't have the best long term memory, but I can't remember a time when an NHL team just took a contract, ripped it up, and flushed it down the toilet. An NHL franchise treated a $69 million dollar contract like a contract that you and your friends draw up on a cocktail napkin at the bar while agreeing to get ass tattoos. Just threw it right in the garbage and refused to even acknowledge it's existence. The Kings just willingly subjected themselves to years of legal issues with the NHLPA just to get rid of Mike Richards. Even Rick Dipietro got a buyout, and he played like 10 games during a 15 year contract. There in lies the difference. Dipietro knew he was a thief and therefore he knew all he had to do was avoid getting fired, and Mike Richards is it too much of a booze bag to even do that. It's like a teacher molesting a 5th grader 10 minutes before he gets tenure. Just too damn stupid to be financially secure. Somebody grab Mike another bottle, it's going to be a long summer...

Gawker- 
Then

The throat cancer, I assume, was first seeded during those wild middle years, when he drank like a fish and smoked like the devil. Looking back, knowing what he knows now, does he feel he overloaded his system?

“No,” he says. “No. Because, without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”

“From cunnilingus. I mean, I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer.” He shrugs. “And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”

Right, I say. OK. So what he is suggesting is that it all evens out? “That’s right,” says Douglas. “It giveth and it taketh.”

Now

‘What I was trying to say was that there is a sexually transmitted virus called HPC,’ Douglas says, in an attempt to clarify the controversy that ensued. 

‘But there is a vaccination that they recommend to all kids before they become sexually active so they don’t catch HPC, which is a cause of certain types of cancer – cervical cancer, tongue and throat.’

So he didn’t imply that performing oral sex could cure certain types of cancer? 

‘No,’ he groans, anguished by the notion. ‘I was trying to make a public service comment.’



Michael Douglas PSA:  Don't go down on our wife when she has HPV or you'll ingest cancer. However, if you do go down on her and get cancer, go down on her again to get rid of the cancer. In actuality, I'm pretty sure all he is saying is that if you are going to perform cunnilingis on your wife's disease ridden lady parts then make sure you do it an even amount of times. Jeez, can't believe I missed that on WebMD. I wonder is Douglas just walks around carrying a Sharpie in his pocket to mark down on his arm what number he is at. Eating some pussy on a Friday afternoon just to make sure he doesn't head into the weekend with cancer. Constantly wondering if he accidentally crossed over into the odds after an alcohol fueled romp with his wife. 

Despite being utter lunacy, this actually makes a good amount of sense. The perfect microcosm of gender relations. Pussy, it might kill you, but it might save you. Can't live with the vagina, can't live without it. I don't know if you can receive or cure cancer via a thorough tongue lashing, but nothing would surprise me. Who knows what's going on in there? All I know is that the mere presence of a vagina is enough to drive both men and women crazy, so I won't put anything past it. It would certainly explain why even the craziest women can convince men to come back twice. 

Hey, Michael. Far be it for me to tell you how to live in the public eye. However, I, for one, completely forgot that you said your wife gave you cancer so maybe it's best not to discuss it again. No one is going to be like "oh look at Michael Douglas, what a sweet guy, he finally said his wife's pussy didn't give him cancer and it was only 4 short years later". Nope, that's not how it works. Instead we get a shameful laugh out of how absurd a statement it is, then we judge Katherine Zeta for still being with a half dead guy that thinks vaginas give and take cancer like fucking Robin Hood. Sometimes you're just dead wrong, and no amount of time and no ridiculous explanation can fix it. You just got to let that sleeping dog lie. Especially when that sleeping dog is a reference to your wife's genitalia. 

LA Times- The Clippers gained a giant lure in their pursuit of DeAndre Jordan on Wednesday, agreeing to terms with Paul Pierce on a three-year, $10.5-million contract that will reunite the veteran small forward with Coach Doc Rivers.

Pierce and Rivers won an NBA title together with the Boston Celtics in 2008 and will almost surely try to pitch Jordan on their collective potential with the Clippers, who will get the last word in the bidding for the free-agent center Thursday.

The Clippers will sign the former Inglewood High star with their so-called mini-midlevel exception, their primary financial tool in free agency, and will likely slot him into the starting small forward spot vacated by Matt Barnes, who was traded last month.




Reeeeunited, and it feeels sooo good! Did Doc just completely alter his reputation as a GM with the signing of one player? He certainly improved it a great deal. Is three years a goddamn eternity for a player that seemingly defies the laws of aging every year? I suppose. However, you know that contract is littered with more options than a hermaphrodite with 3 tits. No way the team is tied to him for that long if his play starts to drastically decline. You wanted bench scoring and veteran leadership? You got bench scoring and veteran leadership, and you got it in bounds. Perhaps the best part about signing Paul Pierce is it takes some of the pressure away from signing another capable depth player in the front court. Yeah, the Clippers will still need another big body to fill out the roster, but Paul Pierce has played his best basketball during the last two years as a stretch power forward. For a team that struggled to score when Chris Paul and Blake Griffin were on the bench, Paul Pierce certainly adds another wrinkle to the offense as well as a lot of versatility when it comes to starting units as well as secondary units. You want to discuss the elephant in the room? The Clippers don't lose game 6 to Houston, and they certainly don't piss away a 3-1 series lead, with someone that has the competitive spirit of Paul Pierce on the team. The guy is as clutch as they come and he's a winner. Two things this franchise needs if they want to progress further than the second round.

Listen, everyone and their mother knows the team still needs DeAndre Jordan. In fact, they need DeAndre as much as DeAndre needs them, even if he doesn't know it yet. Signing Paul Pierce while Jordan is still undecided is like hearing that your side chick is coming into town while you and your wife are in the midst of a trial separation. It's nice to hear, but it doesn't do you much good in the long term. Its like getting invited to a BBQ when there is 50% chance of rain. Could be the greatest of days, or it could all be ruined on a coin flip of sorts. As nice as the moves that the Clippers made this offseason are, they are for naught without convincing DeAndre Jordan to spend the next 3-5 years in the Clippers absolutely hideous new uniforms. The optimist in me says that Paul Pierce's decision was predicated on the Clippers having a firm belief that DeAndre will be back, but like they say, it's not done until the pen hits the paper. Either way, this was the right move, and one that probably occurred one year later than it should have. As Mark Twain once said "If you tell The Truth you won't have to remember anything". That might be good for a player like DeAndre who is prone to having a couple lapses in judgment. Perhaps more appropriately, as Gloria Steinem famously said, "The Truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off". The Clippers could use that attitude in the locker room from a guy that has shown he saves his best for the biggest moments. 

Larry Brown Sports- After abruptly leaving the Montreal Alouettes earlier this month, Michael Sam returned to the team on Sunday night and explained that he needed to take care of some issues in his personal life. We now have an idea of what may have been going on.

It appears Sam and his boyfriend Vito Cammisano, to whom the former Missouri star was engaged, have broken up.

As TMZ pointed out, Sam has removed several photos of himself with Cammisano from his Twitter and Instagram pages. One of them is the photo that shows Sam down on one knee proposing to Cammisano during a trip to Europe. Sam and Cammisano have also not been spotted together in roughly two months, and Vito said nothing on social media after Sam left the Alouettes.

There has been speculation that Sam left the Alouettes because he was “pouting” after a teammate made a comment about him, but relationship trouble would make more sense. If you remember, Sam and Cammisano kissed on national television after Sam was drafted by the St. Louis Rams. They have been very public with their displays of affection since Sam came out. Something has to be up.



I know this may seem counterintuitive given what we are talking about, but is it too much to ask of the first openly homosexual player to attempt to play in the NFL to not be sooooo.....gay? Talk about terrible representation. Jesus Christ. I didn't like the path we started down when he and his then boyfriend were giving each other cake facials after his 6th round selection, but I'll be damned if we haven't fallen off a cliff since then. I guess I should have seen this coming when he was trying to turn the Rams locker room into an episode of 'The Oprah Show' before he even strapped the pads on. I feel like the NFL could have recruited a more manly homosexual off the cast of 'Queer Eye For The Straight Guy'. 

Be a little more melodramatic Michael. Leaving your CFL team because you and your 'One Direction' stunt double of a fiancé broke up is pretty much the worst reason I have heard for someone to take a leave of absence from their job. That reason is so gay I think I saw it eating a unicorn's ass underneath a rainbow. I'm not even talking about professional sports either. When is the last time a person, gay or straight, took time off from their occupation because of a breakup. How about a little bit of mental toughness Michael? There are gay men working 12 hour days in the fashion industry saying "don't be such a fag". Instead of going through your Instagram deleting every picture you have taken with your ex-boyfriend like you are a 14 year old girl, how about you try taking your breakup like a man? The best way to get over someone is to get behind someone else. Go find a new metrosexual little white boy with jungle fever. It can't be too difficult, you're the first openly gay football player. That's got to count for something in the homosexual community, right? You begged for this attention, how about using it to your advantage for once?
 
It doesn't even surprise me in the least that the Supreme Court rules that gay marriage is officially legal and all the sudden Michael Sam is newly single. I hope someone asks him what he thinks of the ruling. "Gay marriage? That is likkkke, sooooo 2014". Now that it's mainstream it's not even all that desirable to the biggest drama queen in sports history. He's not worried about taking steps to help those of the same sexuality progress, he's worried about using his sexuality to help himself progress. The guy tried so damn hard to be a trendsetter instead of just being himself that he just turned into a walking stereotype. Thank God we aren't basing the ability of homosexuals to co-exist in professional sports off Michael Sam or the concept would already be extinct.  

CBS News- An American Airlines employee from Texas has been arrested in Pennsylvania as part of a child sex sting.

Ray Howland, 55, of Arlington, was arrested Friday in Moon Township and charged with attempting to set up a sexual encounter with a mother and her 10-year-old daughter, Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane said in a news release Monday

According to Kane, the "mother" and "daughter" were actually an undercover agent.

According to a criminal complaint, Howland was allegedly "looking for a family or a couple of girls" to engage in sexual relations while on a business trip to Pennsylvania.

Authorities allege Howland attempted to set up a meeting with the mother and her 10-year-old daughter for the purpose of engaging in sex with the child. He allegedly detailed his intentions though e-mail and text messages.




Things more believable than a mother agreeing to bringing her 10 year old daughter to engage in a sexual encounter with a 55 year old man:

- A big, old, giant, bearded fat man that has been narrowly avoiding diabetes for centuries traveling around the world delivering gifts to every household in one night.

- An enormous fucking bunny bringing chocolate to all the kids right before Easter morning, yet managing not to scare the shit out of any of them despite being A GIANT FUCKING BUNNY.

- A fairy flying around with more singles in her purse than a fucking stripper looking to collect old teeth like she's got some weird fetish that's straight out of an episode of Criminal Minds.

Bottom line? Kids are dumb, but I am honestly starting to think that pedophiles are dumber. Do child molesters lack the capability to realize when things are too good to be true? You know when you get a random 'promotional' e-mail saying that you won a free vacation to the Bahamas and all you have to do is enter your credit card information to receive your prize? Most logical people delete that e-mail because things like that are too good to be true. Texting a stranger about messing around with their vastly underaged daughter is the predatory equivalent of giving away your credit card number. This guy is just as guilty of being an oblivious moron as he is of being a disgusting human being.

I thought we cleared this up when Chris Hanson was busting every halfwitted moron that showed to a 13 year girl's house with rope, handcuffs, and condoms after her parents left her home 'alone'. I guess kiddie touchers have a selective memory? Either that or they were turned off by the show's premise. Understandable I guess. Though, if I was a murderer I would probably watch every murder mystery show on television just to avoid stupid ways of getting caught. It's not even like this was that elaborate of a ruse. Pretty standard bust if you ask me. Some random 'mother' just texting a complete stranger asking him to diddle her daughter without any money changing hands? Hmm, that seems pretty legit. What could go wrong when you are scouring the internet for pre-pubescent children? Why would anyone claim to be someone other then who they actually are online?

There has to be some correlation with a pedophile's inability to notice obvious clues and their victim's inability to do so as well. Maybe these old, creepy bastards prey on those younger than them because they are the only people they can relate to. Their brains are equally developed. I bet I could convince this 55 year old bastard that Santa was real if you gave me a bottle of scotch and a couple of hours. Why not? If you believe that parents search for ways to exploit their children sexually via text and email then you'll believe anything. 

Vocativ- A new Twitter campaign takes aim at the idea that white men are oppressive and privileged. Vice Media co-founder Gavin McInnes, who left the company in 2007, launched the campaign last week which uses the hashtag #TakeUsDown and features dozens of pictures of white men—and even babies and boys—lying face down on the ground. The images are captioned with statements that are jokingly self-shaming for white privilege and “transgressions.”

The hashtag made its way to white power forums, where users applauded the effort and added their own variations, including #AwayWithUs, #WeWhitesDeserveToDie, #BlacksKillUsNow, and #WeWillHangOurselvesForBlacks. Another user described the hashtag as “funny, fair and actually brilliant.”

McInnes has a history of making inflammatory statements. He blamed women for the gender pay gap, and said two years ago that feminism has made women “less happy.” After writing an article titled “Transphobia is Perfectly Natural” in Thought Catalog last year, he was placed on indefinite leave from his position as Chief Creative Officer at the Rooster advertising agency.


Okay, can we all agree to look past the fact that Gavin McInnes, and whoever he convinced to lay on the ground like an asshole along with him, is poking fun at something that absolutely exists? I am not saying it is each and every white man's fault that we are more often than not granted the benefit of the doubt. However, it is a phenomenon that is prevalent in society. Hey Gavin, maybe, just maybe, we could be better 'winners' for once. Especially since the advantages we get from being white males are based on no merit of our own whatsoever. 

I think the bigger takeaway here is how goddamn uncreative white dudes are. We can't dress cool. We can't dance cool. Now we can't even fucking hashtag advocate cool? I wasn't a huge fan of twitter campaigns as is, but taking it to these lengths makes it completely unbearable. That's the best we can come up with? Laying face first on the ground? Jesus Christ, we do deserve to be taken down. We aren't even trying to stay on top anymore. All this time watching groups that are actually marginalized come up with innovative ways to get their message out and we didn't learn a damn thing. Be careful what you wish for guys. Gay marriage is legal. Confederate flags are coming down by the dozen. Soon a bunch of racist white bigots while be the oppressed minority group. Can guarantee you that you won't want to take that one lying down. With the success of the feminism movement and the acceptance of transgenders, I would caution Gavin to tread lightly. He doesn't exactly have the best track record right now. You can't get taken down much lower than 0-2.

The Daily Beast- Days after the massacre at a black church in South Carolina, some Americans woke to a vile surprise: KKK fliers with candy on their lawns.

The propaganda—stuffed into plastic baggies with pieces of peppermint and Tootsie Rolls—included a phone number for the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. Planted under the cover of darkness, the fliers were distributed in California, Kansas, Alabama, Mississippi, and Georgia.  

It’s not something local police departments are taking lightly, and some have even reached out to the FBI for assistance. The Rockdale County sheriff’s department in Conyers, Georgia, collected more than 80 fliers and is investigating whether anyone can be charged with criminal trespass or littering.

“Whether it was a joke or from an organization doesn’t matter to me,” Sheriff Eric Levett told The Daily Beast. “The fact that it was done during this time is ignorant and cowardly.”

A message on the hate-spewing hotline, based in North Carolina, salutes 21-year-old Dylann Roof, who was charged with murder for the killing nine people in Charleston. Roof penned a racist manifesto before the June 17 mass shooting and wanted to start a “race war.”

“We in the Loyal White Knights of the KKK would like to say hail victory to … Dylan S. Roof who decided to do what the Bible told him,” a man chirps in the recording. “An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. They [black people] have spilled our blood too long. It’s about time someone spilled theirs.”


Okay, I'll admit the candy is a bit much, but my premise remains the same. Of course The KKK is in the middle of a recruiting push. You can be mad. Scratch that. You should be mad that such an organization exists, but at the end of the day they are still an organization. An organization that is lacking willing participants and in the midst of having their century old logo/flag tarnished. When the amount of reliable quarterbacks diminishes you start recruiting quarterbacks harder. Sure. I am outraged that these scumbag racists still exist, but I'm not going to be outraged that these scumbag racists would prefer if there were more scumbag racists. That's just common sense. There is power in numbers. The KKK has never been in more need of numbers than right now. Sometimes you need to undergo a youth movement. The KKK is just in the beginning stages of a rebuild. Probably going to have to try a little harder than a few peppermint suckers, but at least their head is in the right place. The thoughts might be complete outdated and their mission statement might be a bit flawed, but at least they know what they have to do to avoid dying out completely. Sure, they will probably fail, and they will undoubtedly get a ton of bad publicity for these fliers. However, I don't really think the group that's sole purpose is to people for the color of their skin is to worried about public perception. If I had to guess I would say that passing an ethics test isn't a requirement to gain admission to the Klan. More than likely all you need is white skin, a closed mind, and the ability to reach a porch from the street with a bag of candy and a hateful message. There's no regulations to worry about when you recruiting racism, plus, whose practices are completely clean these days anyway?

Complex- Amy Schumer was recently criticized for her jokes about race in an essay published by the Guardian, titled "Amy Schumer: comedy's viral queen." "For such a keen observer of social norms," the author wrote, "Schumer has a shockingly large blind spot around race."

This is not the first time Schumer has been criticized for the use of race in her comedy—earlier this month, the Daily Dot published a piece called "Amy Schumer isn't as feminist as the internet thinks." In her jokes, she's speared Hispanic men ("I used to date Hispanic guys, but now I prefer consensual.") and women ("How good was Gone Girl? If you didn't see it, it's the story of what one crazy white woman, or all Latinas do.") In response to the Daily Dot essay, Schumer tweeted "hahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahshahaahhsshahahhahahaahah."



Well, here we are folks. This is what our overly politically correct society requires these days. Comedians to outwardly state that their jokes are indeed jokes. People who get paid to make people laugh having to apologize for making people laugh. Amy Schuler basically just wrote down the long winded definition of 'comedian'. That's not so much an apology or an explanation as it is a job description. 

Oh no, Amy poked fun at race and gender stereotypes. I can't believe she didn't go with the far less controversial knock-knock jokes or cringeworthy puns. Has society forgotten that basically all comedians do it is make light of certain aspects of society? We are talking about a woman that spends about half the time making fun of herself. You can't be prejudice if your jokes are directed towards everyone. If Schuler got on stage and did a half hour on why she hates Latino people then you might have an argument. Until that happens she is just taking divisive topics and making them funny. Here's an idea, if you don't want to be offended don't watch a comedy show. I think almost every joke I have laughed at over the last 5 years could be construed as offensive to someone. 'Safe material' isn't funny. Who was the last successful 'safe' comic? Bill Cosby? We all saw how that one worked out. Generally the people that get on stage and marginalize a group of people for a laugh aren't the same people that do so in real life. Call me when Amy Schuler is pulling a Mike Richards and dropping enough 'N' bombs to fill a Klan rally. Until then can't we just accept that comedy is an outlet to laugh about sensitive topics like race, gender, and sexual orientation? Everyone is so concerned with being mad about something these days that now we have people using comedy to satisfy their need for anger instead of humor. Laughing at a black joke doesn't make you Dylann Roof and laughing at a Jewish joke doesn't make you Hitler. However, being outraged at either one in the context of a comedy show does make you a fucking asshole. 

Reason- A school administrator from Hartford City, Indiana, recently told a House subcommittee that a “contraband economy” in food flavoring packets had arisen in response to the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act, according to The Washington Free Beacon:

“Perhaps the most colorful example in my district is that students have been caught bringing–and even selling–salt, pepper, and sugar in school to add taste to perceived bland and tasteless cafeteria food,” said John S. Payne, the president of Blackford County School Board of Trustees in Hartford City, Indiana.

“This ‘contraband’ economy is just one example of many that reinforce the call for flexibility [with the rules],” he said.

Payne noted other problems with the “one-size-fits-all” approach to providing healthier meals to students, including fewer kids participating in the program and higher food waste. The trend started in 2012, when the school lunch law, which was championed by Mrs. Obama, went into effect.

“Students are avoiding cafeteria food,” Payne said. “More students bring their lunch, and a few parents even ‘check out’ their child from campus, taking them to a local fast-food restaurant or home for lunch.”

Payne also said school fundraisers like bake sales, have been canceled due to the rules, and “whole-grain items and most of the broccoli end up in the trash” in his district.


Thanks a lot (Michelle) Obama. 

Well, her heart was in the right place, but execution is a little off. Tried to make kids eat healthier and she fucked around and sent them down the preliminary path of selling illegal items on school grounds. I bet this doesn't have any unintended consequences once they hit high school or college. Just goes to show you if you tell kids they can't have something they are only going to want it more. Hell, I eat healthier now because I choose to, but if there was some one over my shoulder telling me that I absolutely had to I would order Chinese every single night just to spite them. Did she think putting a couple pieces of broccoli next to a bunch of bland cafeteria slop was going to turn kids from bags of fat to health conscious robots? People love their salt. Salt basically is a drug. A former roommate of mine once gave up excess salt for lent. That's right, he didn't give up salt. He gave up excess salt because he simply couldn't go without getting his fix. Don't tell me that's not a addict's mentality. You try to ban something people feel so passionately about when it is readily accessible in each and every home in America and this is what happens. 

Hey, you can't hate on kids for making an extra buck. It's the American way. Supply and demand. Everyone knows the only way to offset a lack of physical well being is by having a wealth of financial well being. We don't mind if you are fat as long as you are successful. That's why Chris Christie is allowed to clamor on and on about making sure our youth takes care of their bodies while he is as big as a house. If he wasn't rich people might even say that he is being hypocritical. However, he holds office so he can use as much salt as he wants and no one can say shit about it. If kids aren't going to slim down their sodium intake they might as well fatten their wallets while they are at it.

Today- “More than 33 years since the show premiered on CBS-TV on Friday nights, Warner Bros. has issued a new and terribly insulting attack on the South, a region and a culture which Hollywood has trashed for decades," Jones wrote. "Some unnamed genius at the company feels that the flag is 'offensive to some' and therefore it has no business on a classic TV comedy about a bunch of good ol' boys and girls in the Southern mountains. This is a new level of "P.C." idiocy. I don't know about you, but I am tired of being insulted by morons.”

Jones tells TODAY that the decision could hurt the "Dukes of Hazzard" brand by misrepresenting the nature of the flag to young people who watch the show.

“It will make kids unhappy and confused,” he says. “To me, they’re destroying innocence. They’re not responding to people who watch the show, they’re responding to those who don’t follow it. It’s insulting to my culture and my work.”

He adds, “The flag is a part of the almost perfect design of that car, which has been voted the most popular car in the history of film and television. That’s not going to go away. It’s an idiotic decision.”

Jones stresses that he was an avid supporter of the Civil Rights Movement, participating in countless demonstrations in the South in the 1960s. He says he believes in a deep respect for all people, but believes that to assume the Confederate flag merely represents slavery is to overlook history.

“I have a good feel for where people’s heads are on this thing and I don’t understand why it’s happening,” Jones told TODAY. “When “The Dukes of Hazzard” was a big show, it was this positive thing about the car and the culture and the kids, and that went on for years. It is a permanent part of Americana.”



Fucking Southerners. I swear you can't make it up. Upset that they are a pulling an offensive flag off a toy car that is from a show that is 30 years old. What will their children do now? Oh, I don't know, probably the same shit they were already doing. Which probably didn't involve watching much 'Dukes Of Hazzard'. Never mind playing with any 'Dukes Of Hazzard' toys. Hell, When's the last time you have seen a child play with a toy car period? Any child that is still playing with replica cars is not only too young to play with an iPad or a smart phone, but they are also too young to give a fuck about a logo on said car. Oh no, the innocence of children everywhere has been destroyed by removing a sticker that represents slavery. Well, as long as it's already ruined I guess we can add 'Roots' to the family movie night lineup. The real damage has already been done by tarnishing the 'almost perfect' design of a model car from a fictional show. 

I don't know. I think it's time to abolish the confederate flag from our culture too, but I can't help but think it could do more harm than good. We are basically taking away the one symbol that a bunch of irrational, illogical lunatics hold near and dear. The last group of people I would want to instigate is the group that lacks any and all common sense. Gee, I wonder who a bunch of torch carrying, prejudice assholes are going to wrongfully direct their anger towards this time? Why not let them keep their loser flag? I mean, a bunch of bigots in the South honoring the confederate flag is essentially the same thing as the Indianapolis Colts raising an 'AFC Finalist' banner. All it represents is their biggest failure as a region. If that's what helps them sleep at night then at least they aren't working themselves into a frenzy with baseless hatred. Plus, it serves as quite the reminder of what people to avoid associating with. Nine people lost their lives to a sick, twisted teenage racist. Why the fuck are we worried about what flag he liked on his toy car when he was a kid? Taking the flag away hasn't changed anyone's beliefs. It hasn't made those people more accepting. It's hasn't made society more progressive, it's just created an illusion of progression. It has redirected our focus to the positive (the banning of the flag), when the situation is overwhelmingly negative. Racism is still prevalent in society no matter how many flags we take down. Yeah, the flag has no place in society, but neither do the people that find it's presence necessary on fucking children's toys, of all things.

I'm a simple man. A simple, simple man. So yeah, sue me if all it takes to cause some commotion in my boxer shorts is the Devils first round draft pick and his luxurious hair chilling shirtless with his smoke bomb girlfriend in a Devils hat. Seriously, I'm only human. You put that that much sexy in a bed and I am feeling some type of way about it every single time. Even if it is a couple of 18 year old Eastern Europeans. Pretty sure that's the age of consent, and thus it's not weird. Honestly, I am just happy this guy has a girlfriend. Six months in the states as a single man and we would have to wrap him in a latex body suit to avoid an Antonio Cromartie situation. I am pretty sure the entire city of Hoboken's water broke just looking at these pictures.  God forbid he finds out that New York City is only 15 minutes away. The last thing I need is this kid going under the knife before training camp to have women surgically removed from his cock. We should at least give the women of the tri-state area a chance by making him wear a hat in public. Watching him run his hand through his hair is the closest I have ever come to having a religious experience. Pretty sure he moistened my underwear with that move.

And by the looks of this video, I don't think we need to worry about Pavel having a confidence issue. That fucking firehose looks like it could replenish the entire California water shortage. We should give Katie Kindrachuk the 'Arthur Ashe Courage Award' for having sex with her boyfriend and the 2x4 in his athletic shorts on a regular basis. I'll tell you one thing I am not worried about is his stick handling. If it were anything less than superb he would already be wanted for murder by now. This draft pick is growing on me faster than he is growing underneath his girlfriend's ass cheek. You just don't go into the corner with that kind of testicular fortitude and not come out with the puck. Winger, center, I don't care. Pavel is already leading the All Star balloting for starting cocksman, and I couldn't be more excited about it. No homo....yet.

On the surface, this looks like a terrible pick. I mean, the Devils have the goaltending position locked up for the foreseeable future. I know you don't always make draft selections based on need, but the Devils goaltending situation is the one aspect of the team most fans feel comfortable with. The collective forward depth in the organization is what we would call a goddamn cess pool, and that's putting it mildly.

That's why the only explanation for this pick is that new General Manager Ray Shero is trying to temper expectations. You don't start a new job and go in guns-a-blazing. It raises expectations too high. That goes from cubicle dwellers to professional GM's alike. Shit, if Ray Shero turned his first three picks into 2 forwards with a high ceiling and third forward that has already started to get closer to his potential then Devils fans would already be building him a statue outside Prudential Center after his first big weekend. There would be nowhere to go but down after that. You got to throw a 'what the fuck' draft pick in there to bring everyone back to reality. Make sure the fan base realizes you have flaws as well. You're not always going to be right, so sometimes you have to be intentionally wrong to remind people of that. 

I don't want to hate on Mckenzie Blackwood too much. Hell, I don't even know what he looks like. He could come up to me and kick me in the dick and fuck my hypothetical girlfriend in front of me while I withered in pain and I still wouldn't be able to address him by his name. Plus, his measurables and skill set do fit what the modern NHL goaltender possesses. In fact, by the time he's 22 years old, Cory Schneider will be in his mid-30's. So maybe it's not the worst pick in the world....but it's safe to say it's far from the best. 

At least the Devils were able to make up for it by picking another skilled, and more importantly, fast forward (Blake Speers) and a slick skating defenseman (Colton White) with a high amount of potential later in the day. Honestly, reading a scouting report on these guys is like trying to read brail. However, as long as I see 'fast' or 'quick' I assume it is a good pick. Hell, I would put a well trained monkey with no arms in the top 9 as long as he was under 30 and had above average acceleration.
 
Time for some highlights!!!

A right wing? What the fuck is a right wing? From the looks of the Devils depth chart I thought that position was abolished from the league years ago!

Ray Shero, you sly creepy looking Devil, no pun intended. Maybe I am actually starting to come around on you after all. Basically flipping the picks obtained in the Jagr trade for a young Jersey kid with the potential to put up 25 goals a season if put in the right situation. I do not hate this one bit. The Devils acquired a cost controlled player that hasn't reached his full potential, yet isn't a complete unknown in terms of what he can offer. Can only imagine the .5 PPG clip he was scoring at while playing as a 3rd liner in Anaheim will go up as he is capable of instantly sliding right into a top 6 spot on the Devils roster.

The best part about this trade is that Palmieri is 24 years old. No matter how impatient Devils fans may be, the team is in it for the long haul. It's not about what Palmieri can provide for this team next year, it's what he can provide as he grows with the youth that the Devils are incorporating into the franchise. Hopefully the days of overpaying 30-somethings to underperform are over. This is the type of move that will change the culture of this franchise, and it's a culture that has needed changing since Parise and the Communist walked out that door. It's time to get younger. It's time to get faster. God dammit, it's time to start acquiring players for that they can potentially be, instead of what they already are. Welcome home Kyle!!!

P.S. I won't address the Beleskey situation too much, because it's speculation. However, if the rights to negotiating with him help to get him in a Devils jersey cheaper than had he hit unrestricted free agency than I am on board with that as well. Really, that would just be a bonus, because this is a great trade in and of itself.

P.P.S. Such a Lou move to wait until coverage has ended to announce a trade. Shero, you learn well, my son.