I swear I will never understand it. Paul Pierce is a professional athlete that not only can't reach home plate with a first pitch, but can't even look moderately coordinated in doing so. You give Paul Pierce a basketball and he could baseball pass it into middle of the mitt from second base. You give him a small ball that every child in America has thrown a million times and he looks like he's about to have a seizure. A pessimistic, racist asshole would make some joke about Paul Pierce not having a father to play catch with (get it, cause he's black), but jokes on you bigots because I bet George Pierce has a hell of a change up. Seriously though, Paul Pierce probably looks more natural shooting a hockey puck, and I don't know how that's even relatively possible. The guy has played in the NBA finals and is one of the clutchest players in NBA playoff history, but you put him on a mound 60 feet away from a dude squatting over a plate and he soils himself. One of the strangest phenomenons in sports. Professional athletes that can't do the first athletic thing most children accomplish in their lives.
And we can fall back on saying that Paul Pierce got booed because his pitch sucked. 90% of first pitches suck. Paul Pierce got booed because that crowd was most likely 80% Lakers fans. Not only did they hate Paul Pierce before, but he certainly didn't help his cause when he said he would never play for them like a week ago. The shitty pitch didn't help his cause. It probably didn't make the boos any quieter. However, he got shunned for being 'The Truth', not for giving false hope before a terrible throw. Enjoy the Dodgers Lakers fans, because everyone knows who now runs LA when it comes to basketball. Don't worry, Pierce and the boys will make sure the Staples Center gets plenty of use come playoff time. It's not just "Clipper Night" in Dodger Stadium, it's the Clippers time in Los Angeles.
Fire & Ice- The Devils placed forward Dainius Zubrus on unconditional waivers at noon today with the purpose of terminating his contract.
If Zubrus is not claimed at Thursday's noon deadline, the final year on his contract will be bought out.
The Devils have a 48-hour buyout window that began Tuesday after settling their final arbitration case Saturday by signing defenseman Adam Larsson to a six-year, $25 million contract.
Zubrus, 37, is due to make $3.1 million in 2015-16 in the final year of a three-year, $9.3 million contract he signed with the team two summers ago. The buyout will for two thirds the remaining total value ($2,0) spread out over twice the remaining years on the deal. So, the Devils will pay Zubrus $1,033,333 over each of the next two seasons.
Zubrus' full average salary of $3.1 million will count against the team's salary cap in 2015-16, however, because it was a contract signed at age 35 or older.
Zubrus is coming off a tough 2014-15 campaign in which he had just four goals and six assists in 74 games.
The move is somewhat surprising, though, because general manager Ray Shero said Saturday it was "not on our radar" to utilize this second buyout window.
Honestly, I don't know what it was about Dainus Zubrus that made him so endearing to Devils fans. When he was signed, seemingly to replace Scott Gomez, there was definitely too much expected of him in filling that role. Predictably he failed to fit into the top 6 as the consistent offensive threat that his contract stated he should be. However, there was always something about the way he played the game that made him easy to admire. The goal scoring and the playmaking may not have always been present, but the effort certainly was. I can probably count on two hands the number of board battles that Zubs has definitively lost over the course of the last eight seasons. He was the definition of a 'team guy'. A player that never spoke ill of the team or the coaching staff. A player who played whatever position you could possibly ask of him, and did so admirably almost every single time. In many ways, he was like the bigger, more physical version of Sergei Brylin. He just doesn't have the Stanley Cup rings to show for it. Whether he was experimenting with a new type of coffee, or playing DJ (debatable how well) to the rest of the locker room, he was a player that was well liked by his teammates and fans alike. Not a player that whose presence would right the ship when things were going poorly, but a player that played an imperative role when the team was successful. With the way the Devils possessed the puck under Peter Deboer's system, Zubrus was basically a perfect fit, and thus an important part of a team that clawed their way to the Stanley Cup Finals in 2012.
Alas, it was time to part ways. It was painful watching Zubrus try to keep up last year, and that's coming from someone that time and time again hoped he could. I would have been very surprised if this move didn't happen, so it's not surprising, but perhaps a bit upsetting. Just another shoe dropping as the Devils continue to cleanse the closet in an effort to transform this team into a contender. Zubrus probably won't be missed too much on the ice, as defensive positioning and toughness are easily forgotten, but what he provided to this franchise over the course of the last eight years definitely will be. Let's hear it one last time....
BSO- The Celtics offered four first-round picks for the chance to move up from no. 16 to no. 9: that 16th pick, no. 15 (acquired in a prearranged contingency deal with the Hawks), one unprotected future Brooklyn pick, and a future first-rounder from either the Grizzlies or Timberwolves, per sources familiar with the talks.
Some members of Charlotte’s front office liked the Boston deal, but Michael Jordan, the team’s owner and ultimate decision-maker, preferred Kaminsky to a pile of first-rounders outside the lottery, per several sources.
Here's the thing, it's easy for us to sit here and criticize Michael Jordan. It's easy to say he has no idea what he is doing as General Manager of the Charlotte Hornets. It's easy to say he made a far better player than an executive. Well, before we go too far chastising 'Sir Airness', let us not forget this quote...
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed." -Michael Jordan
Sure, the last time MJ spent an extremely high draft pick on a white, athletically limited, four year college player it turned down out comically bad (shoutout to Adam Morrison, two time NBA champion, 0 time contributor). Yeah, a blind crossing guard would have done a better job of directing his franchise in the right direction up until this point. However, you've got to fail in historic fashion before you can succeed. One day he's going to draft a white player in the first round that is worth what he cost. Now, it's probably not going to be Frank Kaminsky, because let's be honest, there probably isn't a white player on the planet Earth (assuming Larry Bird was just an albino African American) that is worth four first round picks. Cut him some slack. You never learn anything if you are right all the time. Why do you think I'm such an idiot? Never been wrong in my life. It's the same reason why I am not the greatest basketball player to ever walk the Earth, and the same reason why I would have accepted that trade and taken the four first round picks. I don't know the sacrifice that it takes to win an NBA championship. Michael Jordan does, and that's why he is turning down completely lopsided trades in his favor. So one day he can rise to the top of the mountain as the best basketball mind in the game. He's only like 8,845 missed "shots" away from another dynasty.
....Or he's just an drunk, gambling addict that bet against himself making that trade when it was on the table. Have to imagine the odds were pretty high. Got to trust your gut and take the long shot.
Devils' Pavel Zacha Got Matching Tattoos With His Teenage Girlfriend Because They Are, Like, Soooo Soulmates
Okay, so here is the part where I really want to do anything I possibly can to defend Pavel Zacha's decision. Mostly because he is pretty much the immediate future of the franchise, and one of the lone bright spots at forward in an extremely shallow prospect pool, but also because he's a goddamn dreamboat.
However, this? This is a little over the top. Man, oh man, I wish Pavel decided to spend a little time in the states traveling around to city after city filled with cock hungry puck bunnies before he inked his loyalty on his chest. Luckily, with that hair, there won't be a single chick that is questioning his body art when he is standing in front of them shirtless. Whatever, at least it's small enough to get covered up. Who hasn't done some extremely stupid shit for someone they thought they would spend the rest of their life with when they were a teenager? Pretty funny how quickly you grow out of that, huh? In high school you're falling head over heels for anyone that will let you penetrate them, and in your 20's you're trying to figure out how to make sure that sex doesn't make it a 'thing'. The better person in me almost wished his smoking hot girlfriend the best of luck, until I realized the last thing I want my potential franchise player doing is dating a teenage girl. Not only do I want my first line center to live up to all that he is capable of, both on the ice and in the bedroom, but teenage women are the FUCKING WORST. I think back to some of the irrational, illogical arguments I had and I legitimately start to develop, what I can only imagine is, the beginning stages of PTSD. And I'm just an average guy that was dating an average, soul sucking girl. How can Zacha be expected to perform to the best of his abilities with a mental terrorist constantly poisoning his brain. I need him slanging dick from sea to shining sea during his off days, not feverishly texting himself into a wrist injury. The only reason he should have a sore thumb is if butt stuff took a turn for the worse, not because he is trying to rub away a girlfriend-induced migraine.
Pavel Zacha may be talented beyond his years, but he's certainly not wise beyond them. This dude has a better chance of scoring 75 goals and becoming a Presidential candidate next year than he does of remaining monogamous in this country. If his skating and shot strength are any indication he's got a strong enough back to take down triplets and I'm not talking about the ones that reside in Tampa Bay. I don't care how sexy his significant other may be. When you are destined to be an NHL superstar then one girl, no matter how hot, is considered underachieving. I want Pavel Zacha's little black book to look like the judge's table after a Vince Carter dunk contest. 10's on 10's on 10's. More dimes than a Jewish woman's change purse. All the satisfaction, none of the headaches. He's going to need a clear head to resurrect this franchise from the dead. Can't achieve that when his relationship is destined to be a live mine field.
P.S. Veteran move to simply get the date in roman numerals. A date could stand for anything. Right now it just happens to stand for the death of his freedom.
P.P.S. I'll miss you Lou, but this new age of Devils players on social media is about to flip Unsportsmanlike-Conduct.com (inception plug) on it's fucking skull.
New Orleans Saints- On what led to the release: “There are a series of things. For one, I think it would be unfair to say the 2014 season went awry and we finished 7-9 because of one person or begin to assign (blame) to any one person. There were a number reasons we weren’t a good football team last year.
“Dealing specifically with the contract Junior received, when it’s all said and done there was more expected off the field. I think there were too many inconsistencies and things took place where we didn’t feel comfortable as a club. Obviously, when you write a check like that and make a commitment like that, you have a long-term vision. That same vision when we signed Junior as a rookie player.
“As a head coach, you feel like you failed because you take a vested interest in seeing him have success and all the things you want. At the same time, there is a team element that was really paramount. It was in the best interest going forward for our team. I am sure he will have a handful of opportunities with other clubs. We wish him well. For our team coming up to this season, it was the right thing to do.”
On what he would say if another coach calls him about possibly signing Galette:
“You know you are going to get a guy that gives great effort. He is someone that works hard. He is passionate and I love that about him. He plays with passion. The key thing, and the area I get frustrated with myself, is making sure that there is that communication of what we are doing and what the expectation level is. Guys are going to make mistakes - all of us are. At the same time it had gotten to a point for this upcoming season it was a decision we had to make.
“With all that said, we have had guys come to our roster (after dealing with off-the-field issues). Anthony Hargrove, battled a handful of demons in his career. It’s about the fit. I would be more than happy to visit with another coach or general manager with regards to signing Junior. You want to see him do well, have success and realize all of his dreams.”
Well, well, well. Look who put down the whiskey and molly, and stopped fucking his whore of a girlfriend in West Virginia long enough to give us a nice little soundbite on the controversy surrounding Junior Galette. How dare you Sean Payton. How dare you take the high road and praise Junior for his work ethic and passion. How dare you wish him the best going forward. How dare you respond to his scathing allegations with class and dignity. Do you know how hard Gallette worked to offend you and disparage the organization? And you're not even going to defend yourself with a passionate response? At least acknowledge him in a stern tone. This is like when you spend hours upon hours writing a paper that you can is an 'A', and you teacher marks it with a 'C' and throws it in the trash. Maybe it's the fact that I just listened to Drake slaughter Meek Mill on wax before 8AM in the morning, but I think the only way to settle this is with a good, old fashioned rap battle. I need some passive aggressive bars about Junior Galette beating bitches with belts or failing to keep containment during running plays. I'm not saying I want the head coach of my football team to stoop to the level of a hardly educated idiot who is about to talk himself out of the league, but...well, fuck it, that's exactly what I am saying. For someone who is such an aggressive play caller and personality you know Sean Payton has a heap-helping of insults just sitting on the tip of his tongue.
Really took me by surprise that Payton said he was frustrated with himself for failing to properly communicate with Junior. Can't believe that didn't go smoothly. Sean Payton and Junior Galette discussing the intricacies of football is like Shakespeare trying to explain one of his plays to the half retarded guy that revived the 'Deez Nuts' phenomenon. It's like trying to teach a toddler to use a fork and knife while he's busy throwing apple sauce at his grandmother. Two men that are on completely different wavelengths intellectually.
I got to give Sean Payton credit. A lesser man wouldn't have been able to to sit there and just ramble off a bunch a cliches and continue on with his coach-speak. Especially when a player basically called him a drug abusing alcoholic that sacrificed the success of the team for sexual satisfaction. Sure, dignifying those allegations with a response would have only made it look like there was a modicum of truth to them. However, it's easy to sucked in when the accusations are as potentially damaging to his reputation as Galette's were. I guess that's what makes Sean Payton a multimillion dollar head coach, and myself a person that satirically writes about him. Good thing Junior is far too dumb to ever be taken seriously or Saints fans might actually have something to worry about. I think Sean Payton speaks for all of us when he says he wishes Junior Galette the best. Especially since that 'best' is likely to come when he's the Assistant Manager at a Wal-Mart in 6 months.
Listen lady, I don't know how they do it in Sweden, but here in the states solo riders sit in the back. As if it wasn't awkward enough that the one English word that you know was 4 letters long and took you 15 seconds to say (IKEA)? Now I have to look at some sexy Swedish chick next to me that I can't even begin to attempt to have an actual conversation with? It honestly felt I was either about to get carjacked by one of those foreign chicks in an action movie that's wayyyy to hot to be a villain, or end up in a Vandersex-esque porno. Both of those situations were equally as worrisome. This is a business-client relationship. Sure, it's a loose business-client relationship. However, it's certainly not loose enough for you to take the front seat and make me feel obligated to entertain you when we, quite literally, aren't speaking the same language.
Maybe I have been living wrong all these years. Either that, or 2015 has gotten far too progressive. When the second consecutive rider sat shotgun I damn near had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't in the midst of some super socially awkward nightmare. Now granted, I feel more comfortable giving him a pass. Mostly because he was high as a kite, and I think he got caught making a stoned split second decision. How do I know he was high do you ask? Was it the eyes so red that he looked like he got captured in a bad Polaroid? Was it the fact that he was sweating profusely in his shorts, and sleeveless puffy jacket in the California heat? Was it the distinct smell of reefer emulating from his body? Nah, mostly it was just him getting in and asking me if I knew where the closest marijuana dispensary was. Then following that up by giving me an address, and then when asked again to confirm, giving me a completely different address. I guess I should have known what I was getting into when I was parked outside of a Wendy's.
All in all, I had one person that didn't know English, one person that was three bong hits past understanding English, and a trio of women that I can only describe as the Asian PowerPuff Girls. That ride was pretty uneventful. I'd love to know what they were blabbering about in Chinese, but hey, at least they sat in the backseat.
Interaction Rating: *
Entertainment Rating: ***
This was all too much. The controversy surrounding the PSI of a football during media week and prior to the Super Bowl. The six months of bitching and moaning back and forth between the Patriots and the NFL. The 240 PAGE Wells Report on an ounce or two of air. The 4 game suspension of Tom Brady. Talks of Tom Brady destroying and/or withholding evidence. Every last second of it has been too much. It's gotten to the point where it has become nauseating. Do I think Tom Brady should have gotten suspended for 4 games? No. Do I give a fuck anymore? Absolutely not. At this point I just want people to stop talking about it. Granted, neither upholding the suspension or reducing the suspension would have silenced the critics, no matter what side of the fence they happened to be on, but at least we finally have an actual decision. You know, until Brady sues the league and turns a deep breath's worth of air into another year of news stories.
Are people surprised by this ruling? I thought the number of games would be reduced, but I wouldn't say I am shocked by it standing. Do you know how bad Roger Goodell and the NFL would have looked had they succumbed to Robert Kraft and the Patriots? Upholding this suspension was just a way of saving face, whether they agreed with their original terms or not. You can't let one franchise push you around and compromise your authority. Not without 31 other teams knocking on your door wondering why the most successful franchise of the last 15 years gets preferential treatment. Especially not when the Commissioner has a very close relationship with the Owner of that very franchise. When you win you put a target on your back. That's why the Saints team that was guilty of bounties, based on circumstantial evidence at best, lost their head coach for a year. That very team won a Super Bowl. When you have a team competing in a multibillion dollar organization you can't let that team succeed while sacrificing the integrity of your product, no matter how petty the infraction. Changing the suspension would have been worse than not punishing them at all. Nothing has changed since the Wells Report came out, so the the terms of the discipline shouldn't change either. This is nothing new. The NFL is completely inconsistent in their penalties, but it's better to stand for something than fall for anything, even if what you stand for is an absurdly long suspension relative to the crime.
NY Times- The Boy Scouts of America on Monday ended its ban on openly gay adult leaders.
But the new policy allows church-sponsored units to choose local unit leaders who share their precepts, even if that means restricting such positions to heterosexual men.
Despite this compromise, the Mormon Church said it might leave the organization anyway. Its stance surprised many and raised questions about whether other conservative sponsors, including the Roman Catholic Church, might follow suit.
“The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is deeply troubled by today’s vote,” said a statement issued by the church moments after the Scouts announced the new policy. “When the leadership of the church resumes its regular schedule of meetings in August, the century-long association with scouting will need to be examined.”
Hmm, how I approach this one with sensitivity? I mean, I am all for homosexuals being able to participate in all facets of society. If they can get married, they can do anything, and they should be able to do anything. You want to be a gay boy scout? Have at it. In retrospect, during the small amount of time I spent in the boy scouts, I can say without question that 'ban' wasn't doing all that much anyway. If I could gather the 'troops' for a reunion I am thinking at least a third of them show up with parted hair, a fitted shirt, and their boyfriend.
That, however, is neither here nor there. I still think, with all due respect to openly homosexual males, that it's a much better idea to keep the gay adults phased out of the program. In fact, I am pretty sure the entire ban on homosexuals had WAY more to do with pedophilia anyway. I could be way off base, but I think the potential kiddie touchers were a much bigger issue then the adults that happened to enjoy cock in their free time. Now, I am a rational human being, so I know that there isn't the slightest of ties between pedophilia and homosexuality. You, most likely, know there are no ties between pedophilia and homosexuality. You know who doesn't know? The pedophiles that were phased out by the ban on homosexuality. They just read this article, jumped as high as they could and clicked their heels together in celebration. Of course this ruling has nothing with them, but I wouldn't want to be the one that had to convince them of that. They just left their tree house that overlooks the public park to sign up for their very own cluster of underage boys. They are back in the game. If anything this ruling includes them by omission. I know it should be something that goes without saying, but we aren't exactly talking about the most down-to-earth demographic of civilization here. It may not be politically correct to write in a pedophilia clause into a progressive new ruling celebrating the openness of society, but it just might save a child or two. I would imagine that's worth offending a couple of people in the process. Yes, child molestation is more of a mental disorder than a sexual preference, but do we honestly want to take that chance.
P.S. It might not seem like it, but I'm on your team gays. Teaching a group of young, stupid kids how to do outdoorsy shit sucks. My advice? Wait for a bunch of bored heterosexual fathers to teach them how to build a fire then adopt them when said heterosexual fathers inevitably disown them for their sexual preference. Win-win situation.
Mavericks fans have every right to be pissed. They have ever right to start yelling shit at DeAndre Jordan as he leaves a pool party in Las Vegas. However, at some point don't you have to look at yourself in the lens of somebody else sunglasses and realize that you are the asshole that is ignoring millions upon of millions of drunk, scantily clad women? That you're the asshole wasting valuable drinking time to yell at a professional athlete that is paying you no mind? You're in Vegas bro. I know the departure of DeAndre Jordan hurts your feelings, but I promise it's nothing another $15.00 frozen beverage in a novelty cup can't cure. I'm not completely innocent of yelling at sporting events or bars. I don't think anyone that has become intoxicated and far too invested in the outcome of a game is innocent of being outspoken. However, there's a reason that Vegas pools have no deep end, an that's because everyone there is as shallow as they come. Yeah, yelling at DeAndre Jordan might feel better for a second or two, but the woman that you just turned off and the blowjob she may have been willing to offer you would have been worth at least a couple more minutes of satisfaction. It's the offseason. There is plenty of time during the basketball season to curse the very existence of DJ and the Los Angeles Clippers. Until then, get drunk, get laid, wake up somewhere unfamiliar. That's what Las Vegas is for, not making an ass of yourself in front of people that refuse to even acknowledge your existence as a human being. The only person whose image you are negatively affecting is your own. A handful of insults doesn't ruin a person's mood when they can walk around with 7 figures in their board shorts.
Hey Mavs fans...
DailyMail- A New Mexico cop is accused of sparing a woman DUI charges after he started dating her following a traffic stop, according to reports.
State Police Officer Marvin Goke arrested the woman, Angela Torres, 34, on May 2, 2014, after she was seen swerving through a street in Albuquerque in her Lexus.
Dash cam footage of the incident shows Torres wearing a denim mini-skirt during the stop and telling Goke: 'Yeah, I…had a bad breakup so I have a lot on my mind right now.'
However, eight months after the arrest, all charges against Torres were dropped when Goke failed to show up for a court appearance.
Then two months ago, an internal complaint was filed against Goke.
He has now been placed on administrative leave as the complaint is investigated.
While State Police will not comment on the basis of the complaint, local station KRQE are reporting that Goke is in a relationship with Torres and has been for some time.
Facebook photos show the pair seemingly 'loved up'.
Torres has commented on one of the photos saying: 'My guy!'
Other comments from friends speak about what a nice couple the two make.
Credit where credit is due. It's never right into enter into a relationship with someone based solely on an ulterior motive. However, if you are going to do so, the most commendable, for lack of a better word, reason to do so is to free yourself from the burdens of a DUI charge. Hey, most of the time women try to find a rich guy so they can help themselves to his money. This women isn't trying to take his money, she was just trying to protect her own. DUI's are expensive as shit. Luckily I don't have one despite some very questionable decision making in my past. However, if I did I might very well think about bending over backwards for a guy with a tribal tattoo just to have it expunged from my record. Maybe it's not the most noble affair, but it's certainly a profitable one.
Let's say we were going to give these two the benefit of the doubt. A cop meeting his soulmate after pulling her drunk ass over after a night on the town isn't exactly straight out of a romantic comedy, but hey, fate works in mysterious ways. Who am I to say they aren't perfect for each other? If they are perfect for each other who can blame this cop for failing to show up to court? First, I didn't know you could be free of a DUI just because the arresting officer didn't show up to court. I feel like cops refuse to show up to court like 95% of the time, but maybe that's just because I get stupid moving violations that they can't be bothered to acknowledge. Second of all, men will do anything to avoid the wrath of their significant other. Can you imagine how long you would be sleeping on the couch if you did your job and showed up to court, thus taking thousands upon thousands of dollars out of your girlfriend's wallet and leaving her without a license? Jesus Christ, that's the equivalent of Officer Goke arresting himself. Where do you think that money is coming from? The drunk that met the love of her life during a roadside sobriety test? Something tells me she's not swimming in benjamins. Who do you think is driving her around when she loses her license? It's certainly not her dumb ass friend that sat shotgun while she used the curb to turn her car into a low rider. Marvin Goke may have let this woman off because she was she girlfriend, but if we are being honest, he only did it for his own happiness. Fucking men...One day we will learn that some pussy is better left patrolled, but it probably won't be until after we penetrate it.
DailyMail- Khloe Kardashian has defended Kylie Jenner's relationship with rapper Tyga.
The 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians' star doesn't think it is fair that her younger half-sister, 17-year-old Kylie Jenner, has been criticised for dating 25-year-old musician Tyga because the teenager's life is so different to that of most people her age.
Asked if she thinks the criticisms of the couple are fair, she told Complex: 'I think at 16 I was probably f***ing someone that was in their 20s, for sure. I wouldn't say I was even dating, probably just sleeping with them.
'But again Kylie is not a normal 17 year old. You're not gonna say, 'Hey, so what are you doing this weekend?' and have her say, 'Having a slumber party at my girlfriend's,' or 'Going to prom.'
'That's not what Kylie does. Kylie is taking business meetings and bought her first house, or she's going on a private plane with Karl Lagerfeld to take a meeting.
Tyga has a two-year-old son, King Cairo, with former fiancée Blac Chyna.
The 31-year-old reality star has previously been embroiled in a war of words with Amber Rose over the model's remarks towards Kylie but Khloe insists she wasn't 's**t shaming' her rival - because she used to be 'sl*tty' herself.
She told Complex magazine: 'I just feel like it was unnecessary for her to say anything, and I used her own quote back.
Well, thank God. Have at it Tyga. If Khloe was getting dicked down at 16 by her 20-something year old fuck buddy, what the hell are you waiting for? I don't really think Khloe Kardashian knows how this works. I know narcissism is basically the Kardashian's blood type, but the rest of society generally tries not to define right and wrong by the actions of the most money hungry family of hookers the world has ever seen. We have these things called laws. One of them happens to be called statutory rape. I know, crazy right? I would think that a 16-17 year old hopping on a plane and taking a business meeting would make her exempt from being a naive moron capable of a plethora of bad decisions in the bedroom too. Guess not. Is fame even worth anything anymore if people still view the sex lives of famous children and normal children the same way? If Kylie Jenner can't go around acting like Khloe used to then who the hell is going to grow up and fuck the next generation of athletes and rappers? Come on people. We have a social ecosystem to uphold. If Kylie can't starting banging mediocre 31 year old rappers with children at 17 then how is she supposed to marry a professional basketball player and turn him into a relapsing coke-head by age 30? We've got to start these Kardashians young or they will never reach their full whorish potential before their good looks are but a distant memory.
Love the move by Khloe to say that she's not capable of slut shaming because she used to be a slut herself. For one, don't sell yourself short Khloe. You are every bit the slut that you used to be be. And two, sluts can't shame other sluts, everyone knows that. Does a fat person ever take an insult about their weight seriously when it comes from someone heavier than them? That's why it's okay for black people to use the 'n' word or Polish people to call each other Polocks. Take a chill pill Amber Rose. Khloe isn't insulting you, she's welcoming you into their family. It's the sisterhood of the traveling sluts. With your propensity to sleep with rich, famous black guys you should fit right in.
Larry Brown Sports- Larry Bird is one of the greatest basketball players of all time and rarely conceded anything on the court. The Hall of Famer is 58 now, and he admits that former rival Michael Jordan could take him one-on-one. Check that, he says MJ would “kill” him on the court now.
“I hate to admit this, but he’d kill me,” Bird said on “The Dan Patrick Show” Monday. “I’m 40 pounds more then when I played. I’m broken down. I really don’t care like I used to. I have a fight in me but it’s not the fight that I once had, but it’d be a pretty close game.”
Leave it to Larry Bird to wait until he's a crippled old white man with a literal dad bod to finally concede that potentially the best basketball player of all time could beat him one on one. You almost got to respect Bird's stubbornness in regards to his own talent. Unfortunately, he waited until there was no longer any doubt to who the superior player was to come clean. Oh yeah Larry? You don't say? The black all-time great basketball player is currently better than the white all-time great basketball player? As if that were up for debate. I could have told you in the prime of their careers that Larry Bird would be 40 pounds heavier in 2015 and that Michael Jordan would look like he's one super active summer away from game shape. That's just how it works. MJ has got the good genes Larry, and by good genes I mean he is African American.
Black people just age better than white people. That's not a racist statement or a racist stereotype, it's a racial observation. I can barely tell the difference between a 30 year old black man and a 50 year old black man, and if they are bald you can fucking forget about it. Black don't crack baby. My college roommate is 29 and he's one shave away from getting carded at an 18-and-over club. You could throw a Kangol hat on LL Cool J tomorrow and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between his 45 year old ass and the guy that wrote 'Momma Said Knock You Out'. Stacey Dash is 46. Halle Berry is 47. Gabrielle Union is 40. If those three weren't famous and you threw them in a bar tomorrow you would have 23 year olds buying them vodka-red bulls. Pharrell Williams looks like he's 12 years old. Dude is FORTY. Larry Bird can't get out of bed without cracking every bone in his body. If he left the floor to take a jump shot his ankles would explode into a cloud of dust upon impact. Jordan wins by default. This is one case where someone's race matters, because people of color have found that fountain of youth, and there ain't no damn way they are giving us it's whereabouts.
CBS- On Monday, the Arizona Cardinals did something that no other NFL team in the history of the league has done before. The Cardinals are believed to be the first team to add a female coach to their staff.
Jen Welter, 37, will join the Cardinals coaching staff for the summer. Welter will help coach the team's inside linebackers during training camp and the preseason. Welter's role isn't a long-term job, as she'll be a coaching intern during the summer, but it's still a likely NFL first and has the potential to lead to further opportunities.
"I really believe she'll have a great opportunity through this internship to open some doors," said Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians (via the team's website).
Prior to likely making history, Welter played rugby at Boston College and has 14-plus years of football experience, mainly with the Women's Football Alliance's Dallas Diamonds. In 2014, Welter played running back and special teams for the Indoor Football League's Texas Revolution. And, this year, Welter was an assistant coach for the Revolution.
According to The Arizona Republic, Devin Wyman, the head coach of the Revolution, recommended Welter to Arians after hearing Arians mention that a woman could coach in the NFL.
"I wanted to open that door," Arians said. "Coaching is nothing more than teaching. The one thing I've learned from players: All they want to know is 'How you going to make me better? If you can make me better, I don't (care) if you're the Green Hornet. I'll listen.'"
I don't doubt that a woman can successfully coach in the NFL. I don't doubt that Jen Welter could absolutely shame me with her wealth of football knowledge. What I do doubt is the motives behind this move. Am I just supposed to believe that Jen Welter is the most qualified person for the position? It would be one thing if Bruce Arians hadn't publicly endorsed the idea of a female coach no more than 4 months ago. Oh man, what a coincidence. The first man to speak on behalf of a female's qualifications just so happens to have found the first qualified female. It just seems far too set up to me. Is it still considered progressive if it's done intentionally with public relations in mind? Furthermore, is this move still happening without last year's array of domestic abuse cases? First it was female officials, and not it's female coaches? It just feels like the NFL is consciously trying to get more women involved, which makes a lot of sense considering their reputation over the last 12 months. However, don't sit here and tell me she's the best person for the job when in reality it's not about her, but what she represents. Just look how this all unfolded. Arians mentions female coaches, gets contacted about a female coach, hires her and then says in an interview "I wanted to open that door". That seems like the very definition of affirmative action if you ask me.
Quick question. How many coaches, men or women, have been hired after one year's worth of work in the 'Champions Indoor Football League'? That question doesn't even deserve an answer. You know why Arians is giving her an internship? Because she doesn't know enough with her minimal experience to coach professional football players. "Come on in Jen, and while you're at it I'll take a coffee with two sugars". If anything this shows that women aren't being treated as equals. How many men get brought in for a preseason internship? Giving a woman a job that was never available to men doesn't make her equal, it makes her a distraction. I appreciate Bruce Arians trying to go the route of Gregg Popovich and Becky Hammon, but at least in basketball women have a respected professional league that doesn't require them to play in their underwear. Jen Welter may work for an NFL team for a period of time, but she's not an NFL coach, nor does she deserve to be.
PFT- Shortly after Junior Galette was cut by the Saints, someone took to Twitter and blasted the team, some players and coaches. Some websites published the Twitter rant and said that it was written by Galette, using his girlfriend’s Twitter account.
But Galette says that’s not the case.
“I don’t even have a Twitter. I haven’t used it since January. Neither does my girlfriend,” Galette told Nick Underhill of the New Orleans Advocate.
Well, well, well, it looks like it's time for me to eat my words. Anyone got a glass of water? With the amount of blogs I have written criticizing Junior Galette the last week this looks to be quite the meal. All this time, I just assumed the guy that was ranting, raving, and exposing the inner workings of the Saints locker room was their bitter, scorned, recently unemployed linebacker. How could I do such a thing? Such a callous, presumptuous move to blame a knowledgeable, yet uneducated, series of Tweets on a player that has been able to handle social media so swimmingly to this point in his career. So easy for me to type away at my computer incessantly bashing an ex-Saint without even confirming the truth. Silly me. He doesn't even have twitter. Jesus Bob, check a handle for once in your life. Are you just going to believe every person on the internet that claims to be the significant other of a professional athlete? Be more naive. Clearly my allegations of libel were misguided. They should have been directed at the other person that has a big mouth and a huge ax to grind with the organization. I'm not exactly sure who else that would be, but apparently it's not Junior Galette. Don't believe me? Just ask him.
I suppose it's possible that Galette, or his girlfriend, weren't responsible for the slanderous accusations that littered some random timeline. However, when you are notoriously a loose cannon that is capable of the most child-like antics you no longer get the benefit of the doubt. The NFL isn't like the court of law. You can be guilty until proven innocent. Just look across the landscape of the world wide web Junior. It's not just Saints fans, no one is questioning who composed those tweets. We don't just think you did it, we are damn near certain of it, and now we are just waiting for you to be stupid enough to accidentally confirm that you did it. Shouldn't be long now...
PIX- The Fogoe family was among those who made it out, but lost everything they owned. Their 17-year-old son, Akiel Fogoe, was forced to cancel his plans to attend a hockey goalie camp. He had just saved hundreds of dollars to buy new skates, which burned along with his other gear.
Akiel told PIX11 that goaltending has shaped him both on and off the ice.
“It puts me under a lot of pressure and I think that will help me through life,” he said.
Hockey coach Tom Fogu runs the week-long camp and heard about Akiel’s story. He posted a plea for help on Facebook. Fogu had met Akiel only once before.
“I knew it was something we needed to get involved with,” said Fogu.
The New Jersey Devils and equipment company CCM found out. Today, they delivered new equipment for Akiel on the first day of hockey camp.
“I’ve been playing high school hockey with all used equipment,” said Akiel, “It feels good to have my own.”
Akiel and his family were also invited to the Prudential Center on Friday, where Akiel’s name was hung over Cory Schneider’s locker, the Devils’ goaltender. He put on Schneider’s skates and played on the Devils’ ice.
Good to see that even with Lou Lamoriello, a General Manager that has always prided himself on doing things the 'right' way, away from the organization the Devils still know when to get involved and help out. Not only did they, as well as CCM, get the kid all brand new equipment, but they got him his first ever set of brand new equipment. Growing up a hockey player, I can say that there is nothing more satisfying than getting a brand new stick, or even gloves. I vividly remember sleeping with my brand new skates on multiple occasions as a kid. I can't speak for the goaltender position, but I imagine it's the same considering how much more expensive it is. Not granted, you would hope a kid wouldn't have to go thorough something as traumatic as a house fire to experience that feeling of excitement that comes with a brand new pair of pads, but it's a cool story nonetheless. It's always fulfilling to be able to make a kid happy, no matter how tough times happen to be for him and his family. To help them, and specifically him, forget about things, even if just for a day, is a win in itself. For a kid that never even had gear to call his own it's got to be pretty surreal to walk in and see his name on an official Devils jersey in the Devils locker room. Hopefully that feeling is enough to keep that smile on his face for a long, long time.
P.S. Elephant in the room? It's always good to see you a young black Devils fan that not only loves the sport, but loves playing it as well.
This may very well be my ignorance talking, but I honestly didn't even know that Nick Saban understood that there are things that exist outside of football. His work at LSU and Alabama clearly show that he is a very smart guy. However, I was under the impression he was just a very smart football guy. I thought that he was like Jim Harbaugh in that he couldn't exist in an environment that is not predicated on the x's and o's of football. My bar for Saban was so low that simply reading that he said "pussy" out loud, in that context, to his players gives me a whole new respect for him. I kind of figured that Saban would be too busy dissecting game tape from their losses to Ole Miss and Ohio State to talk to his players about rummaging around for loose ass in the wee hours of the morning. I would have never imagined that Nick Saban would be a cool person to have a beer with until I knew that he understood what it meant to "lock up" a chick for a late night rendezvous. It would be disingenuous for me to dislike anyone that flawless fits a "Hilary Rodham Fucking Clinton" into a monologue. Who knew behind the yelling, screaming, heartless facade that patrols the Crimson Tide sideline there was a man that understood sex, humor, and the combination of the two.
You don't have to like what Saban said here. You don't have to think that it's politically correct. I can certainly see how it could offend those with thin skin and a proclivity to becoming outraged. However, don't you dare tell me it's not true. Nick Saban basically just took the concept of a prenuptial agreement and put it in relatable terms to a college athlete. It's something that those players, who are undoubtedly sliding into every sloppy, attention seeking co-ed that throws herself (or himself, I see you gays) at them, need to hear. If you are playing football at the University of Alabama you are more likely then not being gifted with a free education and an above average chance of playing a sport as a career. Some dumb slut, that has far less to lose than the things I just mentioned, can easily send that money train off the tracks. It's fine for the average college student to take some drunken mess of a human home from the bar at 2AM for some extra curriculars. They are on the same playing field. They don't have to worry about the possibility of sacrificing some of their potential multi-million dollar contracts one year out of school. I'm not saying that big time college athletes shouldn't be sexually active, but they should absolutely have a screening process of sorts, even if it simplistic. At the very least to avoid getting hoodwinked by a some broad that's trying to roll the tides, financial or otherwise, in her favor.
P.S. Plus, if you play football in the SEC, and at Alabama specifically, and can't close the deal before midnight you don't deserve to get your dick wet. At least give the non-borderline celebrity students a two hour window to hook some stragglers. It's only fair.
LA Times- Boston’s short-lived campaign to bid for the 2024 Summer Olympics ended Monday after months of struggles with local opposition and low public support.
Officials from the city and the U.S. Olympic Committee issued a joint statement announcing the withdrawal. The USOC also said it will immediately begin exploring the possibility of a replacement city -- which opens the door for Los Angeles.
It was just in January that Boston edged out Los Angeles in a USOC competition to become the sole American bidder. Though USOC officials say they have not spoken with Mayor Eric Garcetti’s office since then, it has been no secret that Los Angeles would be ready and willing to step in at the last minute.
If the USOC intends to move forward, it must submit an official bid to the International Olympic Committee by mid-September.
“I continue to believe that Los Angeles is the ideal Olympic city and we have always supported the USOC in their effort to return the Games to the United States,” Garcetti said in a statement. “I would be happy to engage in discussions with the USOC about how to present the strongest and most fiscally responsible bid on behalf of our city and nation.”
A lot of my friends have asked me when, or if, I plan on moving back to the East Coast. At first I found the question ridiculous, but I have got to say that I may finally have an answer for them. If there is even a shred of a possibility of the Olympics coming to Los Angeles then I am without a doubt moving back before 2024. God lord, You could hit an hours worth of traffic heading down the 405 at 9PM on a Wednesday. I can't even begin to imagine what traffic would be like if the biggest global sporting event were to take place here. The Olympics actually seem like a cool, once in a lifetime event to attend, but there's no chance in hell I would even entertain the idea of navigating trough millions of tourists as well as the usual Southern California traffic.
You ever see the movie 'Idiocracy' when he gets sent into the future and looks out over an entire city in ruins? I imagine that's what Los Angeles would look like after the Olympics. Hell, it was a nightmare just getting home from the 'Made In America' concert last year and that was just a bunch of drunks trying to avoid sleeping in an alley in downtown LA. You ever been sitting in traffic so bad that you legitimately contemplated getting out, leaving your car, and walking to your destination? If the World Games were to take place in a city that prides itself on terrible transportation I would pull my car out into the middle of the street and set it on fire just to send a message. Shit, if i had somewhere else to be I might do so with myself inside of it. I don't even know how people would manage to avoid suicide? What would the options be? 6 hour commutes to work? Sleeping in the office? You know every hotel in a 100 mile radius will be completely booked a year or two before hand. That sounds like anarchy. It might actually be the surest sign of apocalypse. Start the countdown folks. You got 9 years. If the Olympics come to LA the whole world will implode before the opening ceremonies get off the ground. Of that, I am certain.
I got to be honest, I am already tried of blogging about this idiot and his continually increasing number of Twitter handles. You can only discuss the actions of a moron for so long before they begin to affect how quickly your brain cells fire as well. Alas, stupidity is nearly always blog-worthy and thus it's a cross I have to bear.
Well, looks like Will Smith went with the more confrontational approach than Keenan Lewis and Kenny Vaccaro did. Makes quite a bit of sense since Smith, now retired, can no longer do his talking on the field. Plus, I would think it's tough to remain quiet when an old teammate, that didn't accomplish nearly as much as you, makes outrageous claims about an incident that resulted in no injuries and dropped charges. I think Galette actually owes Will Smith a 'thank you' for having enough belief in him to think that it was actually someone else other than Junior on the other end of those tweets. That's some good old fashioned, irrational benefit of the doubt that only an ex-teammate could provide. He also owes him a thank you for blaming Junior's release partially on the lack of intelligence of the females that he associates with. Make no mistake, it's no dumb bitches fault that Galette is unemployed. That's all on him. Junior Galette could start hanging out with the ghost of Mother Teresa and he would still find time in the day to jeopardize his career. He could strictly use Tinder on the campuses of Ivy League institutions and he would still find a way to dumb down the conversation.
The "doing dumb shit" part, however, is spot on. To put it VERY lightly, "doing dumb shit" is pretty much exactly the reason Galette was cut. I don't know how else you can describe a self shot video criticizing the man that is responsible for your professional career and a viral video of you beating a defenseless woman with your belt. Simply calling that "dumb shit" is like painting a turd gold. At the end of the day it's still shit, and so is Junior Galette's decision making. Respect your elders Jr. It wasn't you that drove Will Smith out of town. It was his age and injuries. Regardless of his playing status, he still gets to wake up to a trophy case that boasts a Super Bowl ring. That's something you'll never be able to buy, no many how many hundreds of millions of pennies the Saints paid you.
PFT- Paraphrased tweet from Galette: "Said Julio Jones exposed Keenan Lewis in their one on one matchups and implied that Lewis is an 'ostrich looking bitch'. Also said Payton played favorites by giving Lewis a raise when he pouted."
One unnamed Saint said “the real Junior came out” after he got paid, which went along with a locker room fight to paint a picture that doesn’t make much of an advertisement for future employment. Cornerback Keenan Lewis had a friendlier appraisal of Galette when asked about his former teammate at Lewis’s annual youth football camp.
“You know, that’s a guy who I think is a good guy. Probably made a couple of bad decisions lately, but I don’t want people to judge him,” Lewis said, via the New Orleans Advocate. “Give him a chance, give him an opportunity. Wish the best for him. Don’t talk down on him and say this guy’s that. Like they say, don’t ever judge a book from the first two pages. Always read the middle.”
Safety Kenny Vaccaro was also at Lewis’s camp and stuck to Galette’s football ability while discussing the departure.
“I really didn’t follow all the stuff closely,” Vaccaro said. “Junior’s a great player, he played his heart out every game. It’s unfortunate that we can’t have him, because he’s a great pass rusher.”
How you respond when a scorned teammate takes to social media to insult you under the guise of a girlfriend that he may or may not have says a lot about you. Actually, if we are being honest, it probably says a lot more about Junior Galette. If there is anything that can make an idiot look more stupid than his own formulated thoughts it's an apologetic victim. If there was one person that Junior Galette should have avoided in his now man Twitter show the other day it is Keenan Lewis. For better worse, Lewis has been steadfast in his support of the city and every one of his teammates since signing to play in his hometown of New Orleans. So while he may look a little bit like an ostrich, and may have fallen victim to Julio Jones athleticism once or twice, he is still something that Junior Galette is not. A star caliber NFL player with a job, a contract, and the respect of his teammates and opposition alike. Not sure I would go around accusing one of the few players that performed admirably last season, despite a grotesque knee injury, of being a 'bitch'. Especially when your a player that resorted to airing his teammates dirty laundry for the world to see, despite them having nothing to do with his release. I'm not saying Junior Gallette is a 'bitch', but that's a very bitch-like move.
Unfortunately, while I appreciate Lewis taking the high road, I highly doubt new scenery, or any number of second chances is going to change Junior Galette. I think we have made it A LOT farther than two pages into the book on JG. We are probably getting pretty close to the conclusion. The pages are dwindling down and, if I recall correctly, children's books don't have chapters. He's been given the benefit of the doubt far too many times to start believing that the next one will make a difference. If anything, the disparaging remarks on Twitter proved that he doesn't appreciate how lucky he is to be a professional football player. It's never Junior's fault. Not once has he taken even the slightest amount of responsibility for the myriad of situations which led to release. I wish I could say that one day he will learn that his personality and decision making outweigh his abilities on the field, but I'm afraid that day won't come until his talent has passed him by. For that reason, I pity him, and I think Keenan Lewis and Kenny Vaccaro do too. Why waste anger and hurtful words on a player who will soon be irrelevant? That's not how professionals conduct themselves, and that's why I can't see Galette being a professional for too much longer.
P.S. Kenny Vaccaro saying that Galette is a great pass rusher after he pretty much called him a queer that stinks at safety is just as commendable. As the old saying goes, you can't argue with stupid without, in turn, sounding stupid as well.
Metro- Don’t let people tell you that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, because people who employ it – by saying the opposite of the truth to get a laugh or make a point – are actually brighter and more creative.
Researchers from US graduate business schools (including Harvard and Instead) hosted a series of experiments to analyse how the comments affected our creativity.
After bizarre and tricky tests such as lighting a candle and attaching it to a wall without letting wax drip on the floor, the study found that both saying and hearing sarcastic comments benefited the creative process.
Lead researcher Dr Li Huang said: ‘We found that sarcasm may stimulate creativity, the generation of ideas, insights or problem solutions that are novel and useful.
‘As Oscar Wilde believed, sarcasm may represent a lower form of wit, but we found that it certainly catalyses a higher form of thought.’
Creativity on a hundred, thousand, trillion. Here you guys were, thinking you were reading some mindless collection of thoughts from a half-witted asshole when in reality innovation was just seeping through your computer screen. Shit, I should charge for the amount of knowledge I am dropping on my mediocre website. You know, ever since I made my first counter intuitive joke at the expense of another innocent human being I knew I was special. Sarcasm the lowest form of wit? Ha, who came up with that line of reasoning? I bet it was some jerk that prides himself on his puns. Those punny motherfuckers will do anything to soil the name of truth comedic genius.
You guys think it is easy to never, ever be serious? You think it's easy to take every statement out of your mouth and turn it around in an effort to shame you? Well, I got news for you. It's basically a full time job to be concerned with getting a laugh everytime you choose to open your mouth. Sarcastic people have a reputation to uphold, and that reputation doesn't require the ability to talk about politics, or religion, or everyday life. It requires the ability to make you simultaneously love us and hate us. It requires the ability to leave you speechless after exhausting you verbally. If witty banter was so highly attainable then everybody would use it. You thought we were just being difficult? Nope. We were just putting our overactive brains to work. That much intelligence needs an outlet or else it gets bottled up and drives you insane. Why do you think Albert Einstein lost his damn mind? Too many inventions and not enough good natured mockery of those around him. That's the secret to true brilliance. I may be a dickhead, but I'll be damned if I'm not a dickhead capable of a higher form of thought. Get on my level, or at the very least, get ironically insulted while trying.