Here's your NSFW reference point. Just look. I won't tell. Plus, it's 2016 so you're basically homophobic if you actively avoid it. Male nudity deserves clicks too. Equality, ever heard of it?
I don't want this to come off like I am some cocksmith whose manhood tickles the side of his kneecap when he gets out of bed in the morning. Truth is, if they took to the court for some one-on-one (no homo) then Draymond Green's dick would dunk over mine 100% of the time and probably squeeze in a nice teabag in the process. I'll tell you what though. My dick would leave each and every one of those matchups thinking that it had a chance to win the next one if it brought it's 'A' game, and that's really all I could possibly ask for in a cock-to-cock comparison with a professional basketball player. It might look like an 'L', but considering the competition it sure feels like a moral victory.
Now, I'm not saying that the package in question is small, I am just saying that UPS could fit it neatly inside a mailbox. It's not that it's not that big, it's that that's the biggest it's ever going to look. Not exactly what I was expecting from the dick pic of an NBA player that's clearly doing everything he can to seem more girthy. Trimming up near the base? Zooming in to give it the "objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear" effect? Blatantly matting down the comforter? Those are moves reserved for me. Reserved for you. Reserved for every like minded, self conscious male that needs the perfect set of circumstances to feel comfortable standing up in front of an audience. I'm not hating on Draymond Green for instituting them too, but I am questioning his ability to fit his whole hog on an iPhone screen during a 6 inch closeup. He still puts most common folk to shame, but I would imagine that in NBA circles he's hung like a dude who feels like his sac tapping and mouth running is an attempt to make up for something a little less intimidating.
Not sure changing a password is enough to stop a hacker so persistent that he hacked his way into a professional athlete's drawers after several attempts...
Ahhh okay, this makes a little more sense...
They say training camp is a learning experience and I would have to agree because I never knew getting a "golly" out of the backup quarterback was the benchmark for the incredible until right this very second...
Look, I'll preface this by saying that I know it was just one catch against an unknown player during the first week of what will be a very long, very arduous summer. My brain knows that. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for my heart. You see, my brain says promising second round pick, but my heart says Jerry Rice. My brain says NFL players lay out to make one handed grabs all the time, but my heart says that Michael Thomas' catch radius makes Odell Beckham's look like that of a T-Rex. My brain says temper expectations, but my heart has already put him in the Hall Of Fame. I guess my knowledge and my feelings will just have to compromise and say that Michael Thomas is far more "camp beast" than "camp body" and as of now that's the most you could possibly expect out of him. That being said, someone whose much more familiar with skill position talent looks like he's closer to siding with my heart, and I'll be damned if that doesn't make my brain start to question everything it's ever known about rookie wide receivers.
Apparently The Texas A&M Faithful Were Generous Enough To Give Their Wives A Day Off To Celebrate Aggie Pride
Sexist? Who said that? Did you even read the lyrics? It says take OFF the gloves. Put DOWN the towel. How can an event that champions a woman's right to stop cleaning the house for a couple hours marginalize her as a person? I don't see what the confusion is here. Seems a little disingenuous to be talking about a bunch of negative stuff like generalizations and stereotypes when all the Aggie housewives were blessed with the opportunity to put away their broomsticks, pack up their estrogen, and celebrate their husbands' love of football without them.
I would have thought they would appreciate being able to get out of their aprons for awhile. I gotta tell ya, I didn't see them trying to take advantage of it this quickly. What's next? Are they going to pass along dinner duty tonight too? HA! It's like you give a woman an inch or two of leash, and the next thing you know she's a mile away barking about equality. Take the all purpose cleaner out of her hands for one day and all the sudden she's protesting against folding the second load of laundry. This damn 'Chalk Talk' wasn't sexist. If anything, it was empowering! Now these broads think they can just go wherever they want whenever they want before all their chores are done. Uhhhh, hello, the kids' lunches aren't going to pack themselves! Can we at least wait until the season actually starts before we start discussing whether or not women can abandon their household duties to celebrate touchdowns? I keep hearing about this so called "glass ceiling", and I look up to find out it hasn't even been windexed yet. How about we get that figured out before we talk about tailgates and parades?
P.S. Damn, sarcasm and sexual innuendo directed at middle aged women usually plays so well...
They should be ashamed of themselves. I'm talking about every single party involved. The Milwaukee Admirals, their marketing team, the company whose making these bobbleheads, the glorified pawn shop that's sponsoring them, and every other individual that was complicit in the mass production of this caricaturized trash. You don't even have to be conservative to realize how wasteful this promotion is going to turn out to be. Never has a fan giveaway been more ripe to be thrown from the stands. I thought the Florida Panthers were stupid for giving out commemorative rubber rats under the advisement not to launch them on the ice, but the Milwaukee Admirals doubled down by coming up with the brilliant idea to give everyone harder, more dangerous representations of human vermin? Shit, even if they are smart enough to pass them out as everyone is leaving the building they are still going to cause so much unnecessary trash it would make a tree-hugger's fists clench. I'm not exactly sure of the most efficient way to "go green", but crapping away resources on useless memorabilia aimed at the red or blue party seems rather suicidal to the cause. Don't get wrong, there's a hell of a lot of symbolism in how spineless and big headed they are, but I can't see a way in which the facilitation of dolls portraying the two most hated Presidential candidates IN HISTORY doesn't end up being an unmitigated disaster.
The best part of this video, and I mean THE BEST part of this video is that Nick Kyrgios never really had to take a piss at all. No chance a man that contentious towards authority would have went person to person begging for permission if his need to relieve himself was that desperate. Hell, no one would be sitting there that calmly had they been "busting" to take a leak. Doesn't matter what the ramifications are, sometimes nature calls and if you don't pick up you're going to end falling in love with the wall like Ernie. That's why I love what the bad boy of tennis did here. He wasn't making a scene for no reason, he was making a scene to bring attention to the sheer stupidity of some of tennis' ridiculous regulations. He knew the camera was on him. He knew the first person he asked was going to tell him to hold it. He knew how silly an official would sound telling a grown man -that was doing nothing more than waiting out a rain delay - that he was forbidden from emptying his bladder. His plan worked hook, line, and sinker. Not only did he make the rule look dumb, but with a little bit of defiance he made it look like it doesn't even apply to him. He wasn't in dire need of a piss. He was in dire need of the right to piss -whether he planned on exercising it or not.
Assholes are more calculated people than you'd think, and there's no question that Nick Kyrgios is an asshole. He just happens to be a captivating asshole that doesn't mind making a mockery of the notion that his sport is considered a "gentleman's game", and every fun loving person that watches sports/uses the internet for entertainment is better off because of it.
P.S. Never forget when Nick Kyrgios told his opponent that his someone else was banging his girlfriend mid-match. From a non-tennis fan perspective that's quite possibly a 'Top 5' moment in tennis history.
YardBarker- Rousey claims that is a lie. UFC president Dana White told TMZ he spoke with her on the phone after Cyborg sent the tweet, and Rousey assured White she is not with child.
We know Rousey wants children eventually. The 29-year-old said in an emotional interview earlier this year (video here) that one of the things that kept her from wanting to kill herself after her loss to Holly Holm was the thought of having children with her boyfriend, fellow MMA fighter Travis Browne.
White has said Rousey will get a shot to reclaim her title when she returns, but it’s looking like that won’t come until 2017. Perhaps Cyborg, who has insulted Rousey on more than a few occasions, is trying a new strategy to pressure Rousey into fighting her instead.
The backhanded compliment to end all backhanded compliments! I think we can all agree that this the first time that a "congratulations on your pregnancy" directed at a non-pregnant person ended with laughs instead of with a silence so awkward that it would make Michael Cera look comfortable in his own skin. Nothing like using the potential miracle of childbirth as a double-edged sword to prematurely abort your biggest rival's athletic career. Cris Cyborg posting a candid picture of Ronda Rousey - looking like she just got out of bed the morning after polishing off two gallons of ice cream with an insatiable amount of pregnancy cravings - to bless her nonexistent baby was the lowest of blows, but that's mostly because it wasn't all that unbelievable.
This was a dirty joke, but it was a dirty joke that made light of just how long Ronda Rousey has been out of spotlight. I don't know about you, but with how much airtime she was getting when she was undefeated to how secluded she's been since it wouldn't shock me if she were already in her third trimester. Especially with how pumped she seemed to be about reproducing the last time she showed her face. Hey, being with child is certainly a better reasoning for her absence from the sport that brought her endless amounts of fame than the apparent lack of conditioning and desire that has sidelined her this long. Plus, someone's got to carry the torch for women's MMA while Ronda's on preemptive maternity leave. Might as well be Cris Cyborg reminding us that women can do anything men can do with a RUTHLESS barb that's generally more becoming of her male counterparts. Maybe when Ronda's done nursing her new born...sense of insecurity she can respond in the octagon.
This School Principle Is Under Fire For Punishing Children Due To Their Parents Failure To Pay For School Lunches
Okay, so regardless of what the question is, the preferred answer generally isn't going to be putting elementary school kids in solitary confinement. Especially when it's a punishment for something their parents did. That said, I'm not sure that there is better way to get your money in a timely fashion if you are an employee of the school. As far as I am concerned this letter was nothing more than a warning. It wasn't a notice that their children were already forced to change into prison garb and eat their poor person lunch in solitude while they think about their parents transgressions. It was just a threat, and the bigger the threat the more likely it is to achieve the desired goal. You know why the mob threatens to break your kneecaps if you don't pay up? Because threatening you with a slap on the wrist is probably going to be met with nothing more than indifference.
Sure, to actually follow through on this particular threat would technically be considered the mistreatment of a child, but it wouldn't be more detrimental to their development than having parents that couldn't scrounge up $75 with a week's notice. If a kid's future hasn't already been compromised by having negligent caretakers that can't afford lunch money than eating a crappy sandwich by himself like Steven Glandsberg isn't going to be what officially sends him spiraling into a life of crime. I'm sure this school would rather have the parents come in so they could hold them upside down by their ankles and collect every form of currency that fell out of their pocket. Unfortunately mommy's and daddy's that don't pay for their child's sustenance on time generally aren't that easy to track down either. That's why their kids have to suffer. As much as they are places that promote growth amongst our youth, some schools are still financial institutions. Sorry Billy, but eat your banana by your goddamn self because it's just business.
Vikings QB Taylor Heinicke Is Out For Training Camp After Injuring Himself Breaking Into His Own House
YardBarker-Taylor Heinicke, a third-string quarterback with the Minnesota Vikings, could be out up to three months after severing a tendon in his left foot earlier this month trying to kick open a door.
The second-year quarterback from Old Dominion saw “The Conjuring 2” with a friend. The two returned to the friend’s home and realized they were locked out, so Heinicke tried kicking the door open. His plan failed.
“I was locked out of my house after a late-night movie,” Heinicke said via the Pioneer Press. “I came back and there’s no one home, and I’m trying to nudge the door a little. It was one of those double doors. I thought it just needed a little nudge.
“Me and my buddy were getting it going a little, but when I put my foot to the door, my foot kind of slipped and it went through a window. It was just kind of a freak accident. I’m very embarrassed, but I’m just excited getting going with rehab and trying to get this going as soon as possible.”
Ironically enough, the moment Taylor Heinicke inevitably lost his job as the Vikings 3rd string quarterback was when people who aren't Vikings fans learned that Taylor Heinicke is the Vikings 3rd string quarterback. You see, you can make a pretty decent living as the relatively unknown backup signal caller whose job responsibilities include walking around with a smile on your face and a clipboard in your hand, but that's predicated on your ability to not turn yourself into a headline. The beauty of the 3rd string quarterback is that his performance doesn't really matter all that much and it's something that generally doesn't require anyone's attention. When you go ahead and start slicing tendons breaking into your own house then you sacrifice the one irreplaceable thing you provide to your head coach and that is anonymity. One job Taylor, one job. Unless it's with your stellar performance against camp bodies, don't make yourself the focal point of a question.
I'm not trying to be a hypocrite here, because I wouldn't put a late night injury incurred in a ridiculously stupid way past me, but I don't hold the single least taxing position in sports. A position that pays you a professional athlete's salary to be a professional spectator that is to be seen but not heard. Unfortunately - with an abrupt shatter of a pane of glass - we heard from Taylor Heinicke and that alone could leave his tenure as a Viking resting in shards. Especially since he just committed a poetic injustice by being the backup quarterback that didn't have a spare key at his disposal.
PETA Sending Warren Sapp Some Vegan Lobster After His Shark Bite Proves There's No Shame In Their Game
We heard about your interception of a defensive shark’s lobster dinner, so we wanted to pass along some delicious cruelty-free vegan lobster in the hope that it’s a winner with you and yours. We don’t want you running back to the water until you’ve tasted it—sharks work as a team to obtain food, so unwanted competition may be awaiting you. Despite that nasty bite, it’s humans who rank as the deadliest predator of all. We hope you look after yourself, so we invite you to tackle any health problems with vegan foods and to be a champion of lobsters. All your fans at PETA are wishing you a speedy recovery.
Andrew Bernstein and the PETA Team
Let's get this out of the way really quick. Everything about this letter says everything you need to know about the organization that wrote it, and that's that they are absolutely insufferable. It honestly doesn't get any more nauseating than reading a note riff with as many forced puns as possible pushing a lifestyle that the intended recipient undoubtedly couldn't be less interested in. We are talking about a 300+ pound, former professional football player that has recently dipped his arm - albeit to bloody results - in the fishing game, and PETA is trying to trick him into learning about the "dangers" of his new hobby by sending him fake lobster meat? They could have achieved the same amount of awareness for their cause if they stepped on their trash can pedal and sent the contents of that bag on their merry way to the nearest land fill. Just not even the most remote possibility that this little personalized brochure and a couple servings of rubber seafood were going to change anyone's mind - never mind that of Warren Sapp.
That's why I think - despite how much a loathe everything about them - that I actually have to respect PETA. They care more about the safety of animals than I care about making sure they are a hearty part of every single one of my meals, and that's saying a lot. They appreciate the livelihood of delicious, bottom feeding sea dinosaurs so much that took time out of their day to try to compromise with a man who probably ingests an entire herd of cattle each and every calendar year. It seems like PETA is the first on-scene after every semi-high profile incident involving a living creature that can't speak for itself. That's probably because they don't have anything better to do, but it doesn't make it any less tenacious. Their efforts may be futile. Their purpose may be fruitless. Their message may be self important. Their writing style may make Dr. Suess look like William Shakespeare. However, their persistence is praiseworthy...especially considering that they have basically just been running in place and making ZERO progress since their inception.
P.S. Yack city....
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, ladies and gentleman! Firing out the gates like Secretariat after being hit with some horse growth hormone! Zero to 60 so fast that there should have been a graphic at the bottom of the screen warning the viewers to beware of whiplash. Who would have thought that the soft spoken former Lakers great was going to show up to a war of words with a flame thrower? Donald Trump burn level....
That joke was so topical, so relevant, and so potentially - yet unlikely - true that I don't even care that it's been scripted for months. I don't care that he's been working on his delivery in the mirror for the last few weeks. I don't even care that Kareem undoubtedly tested it out on about 50 of his closest friends and family members. If you had to bet your net worth on it, would you say that Donald Trump could tell the difference between Michael Jordan and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? I know I wouldn't, and for me it's not even a race thing. Donald Trump thought referencing Joe Paterno like he was still alive in Pittsburgh would get applause. He thought a Tom Brady name drop was going to get a standing O in Maryland of all places. Either out of sheer ignorance or purely for shock value, Donald Trump's sports knowledge is about as cloudy as his views on pretty much anything that has to do with politics. Surely he has a good idea of what the most popular basketball player of all time looks like but all a good joke needs is a hint of truth, and if you held up a picture of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in front of Donald Trump you wouldn't be completely shocked if he called him Michael Jordan. Mostly because it would fit seamlessly with everything else he's said and done on the campaign trail.
Inquisitr- A Michigan man who placed a sign reading “Make The Township White Again” at a busy intersection has stirred up the ire of his neighbors, and may have even violated local laws in the process, MLive is reporting.
The homeowner told a local news reporter on Monday that he put the sign up as a joke last week after having had several pro-Donald Trump signs stolen from around his property. The sign references the Trump campaign’s slogan, “Make America Great Again.”
Whether it was a joke or not, his neighbors in Flushing Township, Michigan (which is already 96 percent white) haven’t found it funny at all.
You know, in fairness, the town is 96% white. When you're that close to full racial uniformity then you might as well just try for the perfect score due to the sheer novelty of it. Plus, I have reason to believe this more of an innocent suggestion than blatant racism. After all, how could something be prejudice against minorities when it was put up with the expectation that no minorities would see it? This wasn't directed at them. How could it be? There's like 3 non-white people total in the entire town. There's no way he could have known that anyone of them would happen to drive down his particular street.
In all seriousness though, you can't really be too surprised by this. Even if "Make America White Again" isn't the underlying thought process behind "Make America Great Again", there are still an overwhelming amount of Trump supporters that think it is. Implying that America was better in some previous era is basically the same thing as saying that America was better when white people (men specifically) had more power, so maybe they aren't too far off base.
Don't get me wrong, if you pay absolutely zero attention to what the words actually mean then Trump's campaign slogan is absolutely rock solid. It's just that sommmme people like to read too far into things like non-sensical, potentially discriminatory rallying cries during election season. If you ask me they are the people that are really putting a damper on this whole Presidential race, not the guy spray painting pieces of lumber with lewd and lascivious messages...and having to squeeze an 'E' in after the fact because he was too dumb to realize he spelled "make" wrong in the moment. Unfortunately some vandals can't see that...
Will Today Be The Last Time That Adam Henrique Teases Stephen Gionta On Social Media As His Teammate?
Soooooo, it's about that time the Devils give Stephen Gionta a job within the organization, no? I love the guy's heart, but with the influx of talent he's about fistful of catastrophic injuries away from even being considered for part-time work. Not sure where that leaves him hockey wise, but I know that his contributions last year hardly resembled that of a professional hockey player and could only be described as the wrong type of offensive. That doesn't change the fact that he's a great locker room guy, but it does mean that all parties involved might be better off if he were serving a different purpose in said locker room.
I'm fairly certain there's not another lineup in the league as depleted as the one the Devils have iced the last few years and even then Stephen Gionta was barely hanging on to his role in it. Can't think of too many options for him other than AHL or administrative duties, and personally don't want to see Adam Henrique go through the pain of losing his two favorite online targets (miss you Lars) in the same offseason. I know we've moved past the days of Lou Lamoriello passing out post-retirement paychecks to every player that wore a Devils jersey for longer than 5 minutes and their (literal) brother, but Little G has the feel of a lifer - even if it's not in an on-ice capacity. Whether that happens now or after a couple more seasons in Albany? Only time will tell.
‘The morning service began about 20 minutes ago, and there are no obvious signs of any security. In fact, this sign at the church door says “everybody is welcome”.’
‘There are about a dozen worshippers in there and one priest.
‘If I was a terrorist, I could have killed them all.’
GOO! There's no denying that went from 0 to Robert Durst about as fast as a seemingly innocuous live broadcast possibly could. Kind of makes sense since I wouldn't know on-scene reporter Martin Brunt from the butler hauntingly "finding" all the dead bodies around the mansion during a murder mystery movie. Maybe it's the British accent, but a guy that sounds that casually creepy about mass murder might have the ability to commit it. Not sure what his long term goals are, but he's got a future in playing homicidal maniacs if he wants to take it.
That said, the real blame here doesn't lie with Martin Brunt. He certainly made things worse with a proclamation so chilling that it should have immediately been followed by a crack of thunder and a momentary power outage, but the producer who gave him the assignment is the one I am concerned with...
"Hey Martin, I want you to go peak your head inside every parish within a 15 mile radius and tell the world whether or not they have taken the safety precautions to protect their congregation from an untimely death."
Quite honestly, I don't know how you sign off from that without sounding like you're an ISIS informant. We need an investigation into who is running this newsroom. Does he/she even know how places of worship work? Come on now. I am not even religious and I know it goes 1) church, 2) steeple, 3) open doors, 4) innocent people. Nowhere in that poetic little nursery rhyme are there security guards or metal detectors so maybe, just maybe, we can stop acting like their absence is newsworthy. After all, no one likes a half hearted invite. If you're trying to make your point clear than just ship the radical extremists a pack of ammunition and an address. Either that or fill the airtime with something a little less goosebump-inducing.
You know what my real problem with this entire situation is? Well yeah, the blatant racism and undying stupidity of the people that still perpetuate it obviously, but even more so than that. My problem is that Chelsea, despite going viral as a societal virus, doesn't have to deal with nearly as much backlash as she should after posting the most offensive of terms on social media for all to read. Clearly the restaurant had to fire her for their own sake, but can you imagine how much more of a punishment it would have been if they didn't?
Could you imagine if they kept Chelsea on staff and made her continue to wait the tables of patrons that could potentially know her as "the racist waitress from the internet"? Talk about awkward. She could never again serve a single black person without a lump in her throat the entirety of the meal. The overwhelming anxiety of not knowing whether the people recognized her or not would easily be enough to make her tiny little brain unravel. It would be like the never ending racist version of the feeling you get when you're talking to the person you've lied to but aren't sure whether they've caught you in that lie. She'd legit never have another comfortable day at work the entirety of tenure at Cheddar's. Paranoia every time the door opens. Heart sinking every time someone so much at directs their gaze in her direction. Crippling fear every time an African American asked to be seated. She'd probably think she was being threatened every time someone signaled for the check. Her working conditions would make sweatshop laborers - that she likely doesn't view as real people - look like they were living the high life. Sure, it would probably result in violence and end extremely poorly at some point, but making her feel the excruciating pain of the unknown and/or the shame that comes with being a social pariah in a public place would be so, SO worth it.
Now that's what I like to see! Not only because it's awesome when professional athletes invest time and seem to genuinely care about/contribute to the community that embraces them, but because I don't have a single irrational complaint about the state of the team yet! Already on to Day 2, and I'm not overly concerned about the offense because the defense played well or overly concerned about the defense because the offense played well. A solid sweat in the books and there's not a one person whose dismissal I am calling for over a dropped pass or a broken coverage. Count this is as the first time that withdrawals from football haven't manifested themselves in a "sky is falling mentality" one hour into training camp after a beat writer reports that someone had to be helped off the field. No sir. Not this year. One workout down and everyone still standing upright. Those that were healthy before are still healthy now.
God bless Sean Payton for tricking us all into thinking a team-wide act charitable activity was the start of training camp. That's how you get the fans spirits up... 24 hours prior to sending them spiraling down a rabbit hole of 6 second, out of context clips shot from terrible angles. That's how you keep things positive around the franchise immediately before the supporters of it evaluate the abilities of 100 different men based on second hand 140 character blurbs. They say you can't win anything on the first day of training camp, but by postponing my inevitable preseason paranoia Sean Payton and the boys just won my approval.
Never has "no publicity is bad publicity" been more true than when a no name team in a no name hockey league doubles down on a theme that couldn't possibly be more widely criticized across all forms of sport. Releasing the most disrespectful portrayal of a Native American these eyes have ever seen as their logo in the eye of a politically correct shitstorm? There's no other explanation for this other than them doing it on purpose to get their name out there, and honestly - no matter how negative the backlash is - it's not the worst PR move in the world.
I think I speak for everyone that doesn't play or work for the National College Prospects Hockey League when I say that I had no idea the National College Prospects Hockey League was a thing that existed. Well, now I know one team in it and it's specifically because they went out of their way to make their emblem as socially unacceptable and downright offensive as possible. There's literally nothing else they could have done - other than rally the social justice warriors (irony) against them - to gain notoriety. So sure, Daniel Synder is almost certainly in his office furiously retweeting this hoping that it makes the Redskins logo look respectable in comparison. The guy responsible for 'Chief Wahoo' without a doubt just sent this link to the rest of the Indians front office with a note that said "See, I told you mine wasn't that bad". They don't care if you criticize them for doing the equivalent of showing up to a 'Black Lives Matter' rally in blackface, because the Lake Erie Warriors are on the map - even it's only because they just placed a target on the front of their jerseys.
I think I just got a glimpse into Dirk Nowitzki's childhood, and boy - it was NOT pretty. No wonder he ended up becoming one of the best on the planet at an extremely non-German sport. He probably had all the practice time in the world available to him when he was repeatedly getting shunned from neighborhood futbol games. I can almost see the awkward moving, freakishly tall kid sulking away with his bowl cut in his hands after being the 17th man in an 8 v. 8 pickup game. Picking up some worn down basketball and heading to the rarely used courts to shoot one-footed fadeaway jumpers alone until the sun went down because he was ostracized by his peers because of his looks and inability to make fluid movements with his feet. It couldn't make more sense. How else goes a German born kid take to basketball other than using it as a coping mechanism for the shame he felt the few times he was allowed on the soccer field?
I bet that's the only reason he travels back to his homeland so often during the offseason. Just a little "look at me now" for all his old classmates. When's the next reunion? Remember 'Dirky the Jerky' that looked like a young Forrest Gump trying to get up and down the pitch when you were 12? Yeah, well he's got a 50 million dollar loyalty contract to shove in everyone's face. Still runs like a hobbled Clydesdale, but his back-to-the-basket footwork is so flawless that it would make Germany's soccer coach touch himself...as if he weren't doing that already anyway.
P.S. I have said it before and I will say it again, Dirk Nowitzki was supposed to be born an African American. If you ignore every single aspect of his appearance then it couldn't be more clear...
Classic (social) media bias. Such a shame that with the amount of information we are privy to that it still manages to paint certain demographics in such an awful light. I mean, the internet would honestly have you thinking that Warren Sapp was the first person to every get bitten by a shark while lobster fishing. Do you know what kind of message that sends to the black community that is already, by nature, skeptical of the ocean? If we are not careful we are going to turn sharks into the law enforcement of the sea. African Americans everywhere will be overly suspicious of their intentions at every turn. They'll have to start treating a quick wade in the water like they treat getting behind the wheel of a car. Head on a swivel and expecting the worst at all times. Unintentionally drawing more attention from the most ferocious predator on the planet that is attracted by their fear and uneasiness.
I don't know who this 'twoconchs' character is, but I don't appreciate the narrative that he's pushing. I know black lives matter, but so do shark's lives. They are just doing their best to patrol their territory. They may seem like the bad guys, but they are just fulfilling their occupational duties. Sometimes that's going to end in excessive force towards a minority, but most of the time it's not. Bet you don't hear about those times, do you? Of course not, wouldn't want to use a widely disseminated platform to make it seem like any less than all African Americans that come in the most minute amount of contact with marine life end up bloodied.
P.S. Never want to see anyone get bit by a shark but - seeing as it's non-fatal - if it really had to be someone then there's something to be said for his choice...
If Kevin Durant Really Is Just Like Your Average 9-5 Employee Then He's The Worst Co-Worker Of All Time
NBC- Three weeks ago, Kevin Durant’s sitting there at dinner, telling him “Hey, I’m coming back, man. Don’t worry about it.” And now, Russell Westbrook has been kind of thrown into this in having to decide his future a summer earlier than expected.
Kevin Durant, more so than even that, was telling people, “Hey, yeah, I mean I’m coming back.” Like I said in there, a week before Kevin Durant sat down in the Hamptons, he was in Oklahoma City ready to make an offer on a multi-million-dollar house. So, the guy was pretty serious about coming back, and then things turned rather quickly for him to leave. And there’s no doubt that the organization felt a little bit burned by this.
You heard the narrative. Pretty sure we all did. It seemed like the en vogue perspective was to treat one of top 3 players in the NBA signing with the team that just beat him in heartbreaking fashion like it was simply a move made to further his career. I couldn't be the only person that heard people spouting off these types of questions like Kevin Durant was Fred in the Sales Department...
- "Wouldn't you take a better position if it were presented to you?"
- "All things being equal, wouldn't you choose to live in a nicer city with more opportunities?"
- "Wouldn't you choose to make your job easier if you could?"
Now, being a competitive person I have always felt vengeful in defeat. That's why I find the idea of comparing one of the best athletes of my generation to some schmuck rummaging through spreadsheets and staring at the clock 30 times an hour to be absolutely preposterous, but if you want to play then I'll play. Let's say Kevin Durant - despite being 6'11 (7 foot on a good day), possessing an unforeseen skill set, and participating in a profession based solely on head-to-head competition - is just like every one of us. Does that not make him the single worst co-worker of all time?
I don't care that he lied in retrospect. That's what athletes do. Hell, that's what everyone does. People change their minds. I'm just not going to sit here and praise the guy for doing what's best for him when the people whose jobs he made exponentially more difficult with his departure had to find out second hand. Russell Westbrook worked in close proximity with Kevin Durant for 8 years. They depended on one another. They made each other's lives easier (for the most part). I don't want to speak on their friendship because I don't know the extent of it, but I do know that KD was at Westbrook's wedding. Safe to say that level of familiarity is worthy of a phone call, no? Not saying it would have been a fun conversation. Hell, maybe it wouldn't even have been a cordial conversation. Fact of the matter is that it was a necessary conversation, and Kevin Durant is pretty goddamn cowardly for actively avoiding it. As long as we are asking questions that don't take career paths into consideration, how about this one...
- If you worked side by side with someone for damn near a decade and told them you had no plans to leave would you tell them directly if you had a change of heart that was going to negatively effect them?
Don't worry. It's rhetorical.
The 24 Year Old Teacher That Slept With Her 17 Year Old Student Is Blaming The School For Putting Her In That Position
Metro- A female teacher accused of having sex with a 17-year-old pupil has said that the school is partly to blame for her crimes.
Mary Beth Haglin, 24, was arrested for her relationship with the 17-year-old, and will appear in court charged with sexual exploitation of a minor.
But she says that the school is partly to blame for ‘turning a blind eye’ – and claims they knew about the relationship long before reporting it.
She said, ‘I am not shying away from this. I am not running away from this. I am facing this head-on. Previous abusive relationships led me into this. The environment the school put me in didn’t help to curb anything.’
She claims, in particular, that the school assigned her to other Cedar Rapids schools as a substitute, while investigating her. She showed records to a local news station which revealed that even after she was released from Washington High, she was re-assigned to other schools in the area.
‘They allowed this to happen. They knew in February.’
Let me start by saying that I am aware that this is a blatant deference of blame, and those generally shouldn't be lent any credence when discussing inappropriate relationships where a much younger party is taken advantage of. That said, the "victim" in this case is a 17 year old boy that already has a hot teacher whose undoubtedly good in the sac as a notch on his bedpost, so I don't even feel a little bit bad about saying this crazy bitch has a point.
I don't know the amount of information that the school had access to regarding Mary Beth Haglin's past, but I am under the assumption that the person that willfully put her in charge of a bunch of sexually charged high schoolers has the ability to see. That vision clearly should have picked up on the fact that the teacher she was about to hire looks like she's straight off the set of every "good girl gone bad" movie ever made. Just take a look at her eyes, because they tell a story that would be rated X if were turned into script. That's the type of girl that grown men look at from across the bar and weigh the pros and cons of a one night stand because the daddy issues are basically emanating from her aura. I hate to say it, but this school technically did put her in the position and they should have known after one head-to-toe glance that she was going to fuck a 17 year old once she took it. Partially because every single mouth breathing male teen was dying to look up her skirt the second she walked though the door, but mostly because the terrible job her parents did is basically written across her face and it's a face that reads "I starting smoking cigarettes after my Uncle touched me inappropriately at my 14th birthday party".