Oh, Clippers: Danilo Gallinari Fractured His Hand Punching An Opponent In A Meaningless Game Overseas
I got to say, when I heard that the Los Angeles Clippers were going to undergo some cultural changes after the departure of Chris Paul I thought they would be slightly more drastic than this. I mean, if you are judging on a scale in which the increments of measurement are the feet of children who are literally too small to wear shoes with laces then I suppose this could be considered a step in the right direction. I guess what I am trying to say is that the franchise probably could have benefited - on and off the court - from going a couple seasons without having one of their most important pieces break a bone or two throwing a senseless punch at someone that doesn't even play in the NBA.
Oh well. Rome wasn't built in a day, so I am not so sure we should have expected the Clippers to go from assaulting employees to saving all their destructive aggression for games that actually matter. They probably could have addressed "unnecessary haymakers" in their new organizational handbook. However, if you want to look at silver linings than having a secondary scorer sacrifice his offseason to surgery after predominately making contact with the air surrounding the face of his intended, basketball-playing target is more excusable than having a star power forward sit out half the season after destroying his fist on the face of a trainer half his size. Danilo Gallinari still looks like an idiot after fracturing his hand with a half-assed sucker punch during a meaningless "friendly", but at least he doesn't have to look very far for an example of a similarly "friendly" situation turning contentious that makes him look relatively less stupid by comparison.
Chargers Coach, Anthony Lynn, Is Insisting That Philip Rivers And Antonio Gates Don't Attend LT's 'Hall Of Fame' Induction
TheSportingNews- Two of LaDainian Tomlinson’s former teammates with the now-Los Angeles Chargers are being blocked from attending the running back’s Pro Football Hall of Fame induction ceremony in Canton, Ohio, on Saturday.
Two sources told Sporting News that new Chargers coach Anthony Lynn is insisting that quarterback Philip Rivers and tight end Antonio Gates instead participate in the team's first training camp session at the StubHub Center. One source said Gates is considering going, anyway, even if the trip draws a fine.
It's common for coaches to give active players who are close with a Hall of Fame inductee the chance to attend the ceremony. One example is Arizona wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, who was given permission to miss Cardinals practice this weekend so he can see Kurt Warner’s induction in person.
Ah, what better way to ingratiate yourself to the two veterans who surely have the most well respected voices in the first locker room you've ever been given complete control of than by denying them the opportunity to celebrate the career of a former teammate that is a legendary figure in franchise history. Honestly, how could Anthony Lynn ever be taken seriously as a Head Coach if he didn't put his foot down and prioritize a single practice over the attendance of beloved players at a silly little 'Hall Of Fame' ceremony?
Sure, it's in honor of the one guy whose career could elicit much-needed happy memories and nostalgically pander to the scorned fans of San Diego that are currently sitting on the fence as they consider jumping off the half-full bandwagon as it pulls into the apathetic city of Los Angeles. However, it's simply not worth it to give a 35 year old quarterback and a 37 year old, injury prone tight end a day off due to the message it would send. Can you imagine their teammates thinking that forming such a close bond with other teammates that they would feel obligated to appreciate their historical efforts in person years later is something that the Chargers' franchise holds in high regard? You might not think that giving proven professionals a single excused absence and an opportunity to celebrate the greatness that they were a part of spells disaster. However, in the organizational culture that Anthony Lynn is instituting in a brand new city that already has a more popular team to root for 'disaster' is spelled R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
The Ravens Owner Asked For Spiritual Guidance In Trying To Figure Out If Signing Colin Kaepernick Is Worth It
PFT- The issue arose at a fan forum on Sunday, when someone asked Bisciotti whether he’s concerned that adding Kaepernick would hurt the team’s “brand.”
“We’ve very sensitive to it and we’re monitoring it, and we’re still, as [General Manager] Ozzie [Newsome] said, scrimmaging it,” Bisciotti said, via the team’s official website. “So pray for us.”
Bisciotti also addressed the inherent presumption within the question that signing someone who protested during the national anthem throughout 2016 would harm the team’s image.
“Quantify hurting the brand,” Bisciotti said. “I know that we’re going to upset some people, and I know that we’re going to make people happy that we stood up for somebody that has the right to do what he did. Non-violent protesting is something that we have all embraced. I don’t like the way he did it. Personally, I kind of liked it a lot when he went from sitting to kneeling. I don’t know, I’m Catholic, we spend a lot of time kneeling.”
“Talk to your neighbors and your friends and your co-workers, because I think you’ll get the same sense that I got, which is every time I hear something negative, I hear something positive and sometimes it shocks me who it’s coming from,” Bisciotti said. “I hope we do what is best for the team and balance that with what’s best for the fans. Your opinions matter to us, and we couldn’t get a consensus on it in [this room] either.”
Everyone, drop to your knees. Actually, scratch that. First listen intently to make sure the National Anthem isn't inexplicably playing anywhere within a one mile radius and then drop to your knees. The Baltimore Ravens owner asked nicely for our prayers, and - considering he was forthright enough to admit to a league-wide thought process that everyone with even a loose grip on reality have seen taking place for months - dare I say that we at least owe him that much.
After all, Steve Bisciotti is the person in charge of the franchise that has glorified the career of someone who - at the very least - was an accomplice to murder to such an outrageous extent that his likeness is literally immortalized in bronze outside of their stadium. Yes, the very same man that was willing to look past a little domestic abuse until the downright sickening visual evidence of the crime that he damn well knew took place forced him to reconfigure his backfield. Of course that same guy needs a little religious enlightenment to help him decide whether or not a peaceful protest of police brutality is an unforgivable offense that's worthy of a forcing a qualified candidate out of a job. If there's one thing that he's made clear throughout his tenure it's that when it comes to differentiating right from wrong he can't tell his ass from his fucking elbow.
So please, look up towards that mystery man in the sky and beg him to deliver Steve Bisciotti from the undeniable evils that he has already excused in the name of winning football games. Christ Almighty, please show him the light by reminding him of the time that hundreds of morons showed up to a Ravens preseason game in Ray Rice jerseys because fans are completely full of shit and will recalibrate their moral compass for anyone that can hypothetically help their team win. Please most holy and divine, intervene and bless this billionaire with the knowledge that being "unAmerican" isn't an actual crime, and - even if it were - taking a knee during a memorial song on behalf of an honorable cause before investing millions of dollars and a wealth of time into it's growth wouldn't fall under it's incredibly vague legislation. As you know best Lord, he sure as shit ain't going to figure it out by himself.
In a perfect world, this little snafu would help the people that get irrationally mad at fairly baseless guesses made by those that forced into producing completely mindless content by the 24/7 offseason schedule of their employer see the error of their ways. The truth of the matter is that year old postseason predictions are equally as intriguing and insightful as timely preseason predictions. In fact, the laugh that this obvious fuck-up provided me was the most value that I have derived from a segment in which two guys stood around using a loose grip of history to prognosticate results out of their even looser rectums. I'd probably pay more attention if NFL analysts were tasked with trying to remember just how goddamn wrong they were a year ago, so I consider this production failure a complete success in terms of entertainment value.
Unfortunately, the current state of social media provides us a painful reminder that those that take far too much umbrage with what random people think about their team's chances to win games that won't be played for 2-3 months aren't exactly quick to accept how stupid they are being. If they were, then surely finding themselves aggravated about what random people think about their team's chances of winning games that were played 9-10 months ago would shame them to silence.
"You're either with us, or against us.
You have to be tough to thrive here.
And if you don't want to be part of our story, that's fine. This city belongs to The King. ...
Oh yeah, enjoy the ring."
There's only one thing funnier than a local news station prematurely taking an undeniable shot at an incredibly gifted player that is still very much on the roster of a team that just leisurely won the Eastern Conference for the 3rd straight time. That is the fact that it's somehow been the best attempt that someone associated with the Cavaliers has made to keep to LeBron in Cleveland after next season.
Take a quick second to think about that...
Dan Gilbert has done such a piss poor job setting himself up for next summer throughout this summer that a commercial which further drives a wedge between the two players most responsible for bringing the city their first championship in over 50 years plays as a desperate plea to the most insatiable superstar in NBA history. At this point....
...it became pretty damn clear that the relationship was unsalvageable, and it's now all but a guaranteed that the best basketball player in the world will take his talents to whatever city gives him the best chance to win. However, the organization that is putting their pride on the line to keep him home isn't the one that's exponentially more valuable when they employ him. It's the one that covers his socially-handicapped antics on the nightly news. Fox 8 just chose sides in an unwinnable battle that will ultimately result in the outright destruction of the franchise they follow, but that's more than can be said for the people in charge of said franchise that stood idly by as this Civil War ignited on their own turf. This commercial was super petty and will be worth more than a few laughs when LeBron inevitably breaks Cleveland's heart with his impending decision, but at least someone is willing to risk looking stupid in order to say relevant.
TheAdvocate- Adrian Peterson's wife sent him a text message with a link to NFL.com a few days ago.
Peterson's jersey, the No. 28 he's now wearing for the New Orleans Saints, is the top-selling jersey in the state of Minnesota right now.
"My fan base there is still strong, so it'll be good to get back out in front of them," Peterson said. "It shows that I was appreciated, which I knew, but that's just confirmation."
New Orleans opens the season on Sept. 11, a Monday night game against the Vikings at U.S. Bank Stadium, in front of the fans that have loved him for a decade.
Peterson has caught himself thinking about that game.
"A little bit," Peterson said. "Just to kind of get back and see some familiar faces, play in front of the fans I played in front of for 10 years, that'll be pretty outstanding."
Being a fan of literally any sports team is all about finding glimmers of hope. That hope might be as fleeting as the excitement felt by someone whose metal detector goes off on the beach only for them to find out they've uncovered a balled up sheet of tin foil covered in seagull shit instead of some buried treasure, but in the moment even the most blind of optimism is comforting.
The following isn't an indictment of how Saints training camp has gone so far, because reports have actually been eerily positive. However, there aren't fans that are more in need of a reason to believe this year could begin differently than those that have begun to feel like there is some deja-voodoo working to make a lackluster start and a 7-9 finish their own hellish, season-long version of 'Groundhog's Day'. The team that lost their second best pass rusher and their starting left tackle for extended periods of time before one whistle even blew could probably benefit from a little false machismo. What better to provide it than knowing the stadium they will be visiting to start the year is full of fans that are currently out buying up all the jerseys of their opponent's backup running back?!?
I am not dumb enough to truly believe that merchandise sales can have a tangible effect on the laundry list of intangibles that go into winning a professional football game (or at least I'm not dumb enough to put it in writing). I'm also aware that Adrian Peterson's Saints jersey doesn't have much competition due to the fact that rocking a Sam Bradford jersey is about as "cool" as the sleeves that have become an iconic representation of his lack of swag. The confidence boost I got from envisioning a little black & gold popping out of every closet in the greater Minneapolis area might get chop-blocked through the turf as soon as the ball gets kicked off. That said, for now it's making me feel better about New Orleans' chances of rewriting recent history and not falling to 0-1 with the reigning Super Bowl champs coming into town on 10 days rest...even if those chances are realistically higher than I want to admit.
A Cardinals Announcer Took Off His Headset To Boo A Rockies Reliever That Was Taking Forever To Pitch
Honestly? I don't think there is enough of this happening in sports coverage, and by that I don't just mean that baseball is so short on hecklers that we need the analysts to drop their mics and get in on the immaturity. What I am trying to say is that this website that I am currently writing on is proof positive that the current state of sports "reporting" is chalk full of hyperbole, facetiousness, empty threats, and false promises. Dan McLaughlin might lack professionalism, but I'll be damned if he's the type of guy that doesn't even need someone to chime in with a "you won't..." before executing an over-the-top gesture that couldn't be further from fitting his job description.
And what better time for him to flash that proactive, asshole-ish attitude than when a reliever is fighting his way through an inning so slowly that you'd swear his actual opponent was Father Time himself? I only got this short glimpse of Jordan Lyles' relief appearance against St. Louis, but by the looks (and sounds) of things it may have very well ended up lasting longer than Anthony Scaramucci's tenure as the White House Communications Director does. I don't know how long between pitches is considered "too long". However, a teammate - that should be immune to boredom given the years he's spent patrolling the outfield during the dog days of summer - feeling the need to mock his own pitcher by making sure he's not in the process of flatlining should be a solid indicator that your inning efficiency could use a fast forward button.
If nothing else, that checking of the pulse was reinforcement that someone who is contractually obligated to sit through that entire game without a channel changer was well within his rights to boo the ever living of hell out of a guy who was playing an inherently slow game so slowly that it became painfully noticeable. I don't watch enough baseball to know whether or not Dan McLaughlin passed away during the bottom of that 5th, but - even if he did - at least he didn't bow out quietly.
It truly blows my mind that this is the type of shit that has baseball purists waking up in a cold sweat. Emotional displays, revenge, and naturally formed rivalries are just a few of things that contribute to the allure of competitive athletics. Meanwhile, the old white people in charge of the one sport whose popularity is dying a slow death amongst the demographic that actually matters - the next generation - never cease to hike up their belt buckles to their nipples in hopes of shaming the fun out of their own game.
Can you imagine a world where disdain between baseball players on opposing teams could be palpable without having to see a 100MPH fastball fly past someone's temple? I know this is a crazy concept that definitely has yet to be proven successful in other sports, but what if proud professional athletes were allowed to express just how much success - or failure, for that matter - in their multi-million dollar profession meant to them? Just hear me out here. It probably won't work, but as a last gasp to draw casual interest could the MLB benefit from changing it's focus to literally anything other than the constant repression of it's employees? I know that having an on-field personality is strictly forbidden, but maybe it's not so bad for viewership if competitive guys spark a visible feud that doesn't involve headhunting during a series of consecutive games against each other during the dog days of summer.
Then again, what do I know? I'm just a millennial with the attention span of a goldfish that doesn't appreciate the long standing traditions of a sport that prides itself on respect of the opponent...unless the opponent tosses the bat a little too aggressively after hitting a ball 400+ feet.
Kyrie Irving Reportedly Wants To Be A New York Knick, And Apparently We Have Given Him Far Too Much Credit
And just when you thought that Kyrie Irving was "LeBroning" LeBron James in an effort to preemptively put himself in the best position going forward, he turns around and pushes for a trade to an organization so self-mutilating that they have managed to bleed New York City dry of all it's basketball cachet.
He was doing so well too. The passive aggressive slight at a teammate from "sources close to him". Ridiculously unsubtle social media posts. The flat out refusal to answer or return phone calls. All very LeBron-esque moves to be partaking in during the summer before the 'King' of posturing and planning chose where to next take his throne. This is going to read like a weird thing to say about a guy who asked out of a partnership with the best player on the planet after going to three straight NBA Finals, but it was almost commendable of Kyrie Irving to see the writing on the wall and frantically attempt to get out of the building before his career got REDRUM'd. That is, until his preferred destination became public information and it became clear that he's the type of person to walk directly into an early death during the first scene of a horror movie (not entirely a black joke, btw).
The Knicks? The fucking Knicks? The franchise that is run so poorly that it doesn't even have the assets to work a trade for the one superstar that is apparently too dumb to take notes from the catastrophic career trajectory of Carmelo Anthony? James Dolan has dumped so much gasoline on the dumpster fire that is his organization that it's literally saving a 25 year old with instant offense, absurd handles, and an ability to finish at the rim that defies physics and geometry from himself.
I thought Kyrie Irving was pulling a "LeBron", but this would be like LeBron making 'The Decision' to leave Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and the Miami Heat to go play with Larry Hughes and Delonte West after the latter had an unforgettable night with his mother. Of all the places to request a trade to, Kyrie Irving chose one of the only teams that has the potential to be worse than the Cavaliers after next summer. Literally the only organization that is under worse management than one that has basically called the Uber in the process of driving it's championship-caliber talent out of town. He might have aspects of LeBron James' incredibly contrived exit strategy down pat, but the poor bastard must be color-blind if he thinks the barren wasteland ironically known as 'The Garden' that's been poorly landscaped by the contracts of Joakim Noah and Tim Hardaway Jr. has greener grass.
“I believe that I will be, hopefully not just the highest-paid receiver in the league, but the highest paid. Period.” - Odell Beckham Jr.
I just want to be the first person to say congratulations to the New York Giants, or whatever other team decides to make Odell Beckham the highest paid player in the entire NFL. Having the #1 overall pick in the next three consecutive drafts after that ink dries should go a long, lonnnng way in a rebuilding whatever franchise commits salary cap suicide by allotting 26 million dollars a year to a wide receiver. I mean, doing so would all-but-guarantee that he would have a bargain basement quarterback throwing to him, but who better to be on the receiving end of wildly inaccurate throws from a well below average passer than the guy that loves nothing more than making unnecessary one handed catches?!?!
In all seriousness, I have no problem with professional athletes being irrationally confident in themselves, or doing whatever they can to max out their value in the limited earning window their extremely unpredictable profession provides them. With how badly he's outperformed his rookie deal, Odell Beckham Jr. should push for an asinine contract that ultimately handicaps the organization stupid enough to come anywhere close to meeting what are apparently absolutely laughable demands.
That said, he should probably realize why people consider him to be an egotistical, self involved camera whore when his view of his own worth is historically delusional. The narrative that Odell Beckham Jr. is detriment to his team by being a distraction is dramatically overblown, but his penchant for doing and saying the patently narcissistic sure fucking isn't. He definitely doesn't deserve to be criticized with literally every move he makes. However, I'll be damned if he doesn't make it easy to question how team-oriented he is when he implies that he wants nine million more per season than the most well compensated (not to mention, a more successful) player at his position. He very well may have been speaking facetiously but honestly, who the hell knows with the guy that would stop at nothing - not even third base while having sexual relations with a field goal net - to get people to pay him more attention, money, or anything else that satisfies his insecurities.
You know what, I'm happy for John MacLean. I'm genuinely glad that he's getting another shot behind an NHL bench. That's partially because that NHL bench doesn't belong to the New Jersey Devils and partially because I think MSG could do better in terms of on-screen personalities, but mostly because I think he's a good guy that can be successful in a limited coaching role. I'm not sure I would want my team to test that last theory after the traumatizing debacle that was 2011, but I have no problem applauding another team's decision to do so from a distance.
At the end of the day, he's a guy that's been around the game for decades and has won a Stanley Cup in multiple capacities as a player and an assistant. His legacy should only be mildly tarnished in the eyes of even the most young and naive Devils' fan, and it's a legacy that makes him an integral figure in the franchise's history. Hopefully he can continue coaching long enough to make people forget about the one disastrous season he had calling the shots, because - with a career as great as his - he deserves at least one mulligan.
MSN- Dallas Cowboys defensive end David Irving tweeted that he lost his nipple ring during the team’s training camp, and as a result, injured his nipple.
“It hurt so bad I just had to let the world know,” Irving told reporters after practice on Wednesday. “But (the nipple) didn’t completely tear through. It must have been loose and yanked the side out. Thank God it was loose.
“I guess I gross some people out,” Irving added of the nipple ring. “Pretty funny to see people’s reactions. I have no shame.”
Asked why he had a nipple ring in the first place, Irving responded, “The girls love it. That’s why I got it.”
Irving is set to serve a four-game suspension to start the 2017 campaign after failing a drug test.
You know, I generally just assume that all drug test-related suspensions are a result of recreational weed usage, but I think I'm inclined to believe that the defensive end that thought rocking a titty ring during NFL training camp was a good idea may be twisting up something a hell of a lot stronger. I can't speak to how difficult it is to remove and replace nipple accessories, but it's got to be more convenient than testing fate and having them inevitably ripped out of your chest during an entire summer's worth of clutching, grabbing, and battling for leverage with the massive paws of professional offensive linemen.
I'm not trying to question anyone's fetish or claim that I know more about the turn-ons and turn-offs of NFL groupies, but maybe it's best to pander to them strictly during the offseason. Or - oh, I don't know - at least tape up like a distance runner so your apparent pleasure spot doesn't end up responsible for an ungodly amount of pain? I'm far from an unorthodox jewelry expert, but I would imagine it's safer to put in your breast bling prior to physical interactions that don't occur with 300 pound men that are looking to use anything and everything to fling you to the ground.
Jason Garrett Channeled Marshawn Lynch In Repeating The Same Answer To Questions About Lucky Whitehead
Well, if you want to get people to stop asking you invasive questions then that's certainly the way to do it.....assuming you're a Skittle-loving fan favorite whose biggest slip-up was giving reporters too much leeway and credit at the start of your professional career as a running back.
Not sure if that same "push the tummy to get it to repeat the same crap" strategy is as effective when you're the head coach of a football team in a massive market that just fired an innocent player for a crime he didn't commit after excusing about a dozen more egregious crimes that your more accomplished players undoubtedly did commit. Call me crazy, but that might not have been the time or the place for the repetitive answer that doubles as an unapologetic non-answer approach.
Now granted, echoing "we made a decision that we deemed in the best interest of the Dallas Cowboys" is a touch more appropriate than "I'm just here so I don't get fined", but presumptuously cutting a player for having their identity stolen is a bit more deserving of an actual response than run-of-the-mill media unfriendliness.
That's not to say I am surprised that the guy that called a professional athlete a liar right to his face without even letting a day long investigation play out first decided to opt of answering to his unprofessionalism, but it is to say that that's exactly what he did by reiterating the same vague, blanket PR statement over and over again. I can actually empathize with Jason Garrett's lack of faith in a guy that's gotten caught up in two of the strangest scandals that the NFL has ever seen in one single offseason. I can't, however, respect him hiding behind his sunglasses and reading off a script instead of owning up to an obvious mistake.
LATimes- Julio Jones wasn’t hurt when he recently fell off a jet ski on Georgia’s Lake Lanier. That's the good news.
But when the Atlanta Falcons receiver emerged from the water, he realized something was missing from one of his ears — a diamond stud valued at somewhere between $100,000 and $150,000, according to WXIA-TV in Atlanta."It was worth a little bit," Jones told the station.
So Jones hired two divers, who searched the bottom of the lake some 65 feet deep for the missing piece of jewelry. Down there, it’s pitch dark. And the surface is soft and covered with old tree branches.
The divers tried shining their lights along the lake’s bottom, hoping to see the diamond reflect back at them. But eventually they gave up their search.
"It's down in crevasses and nooks and crannies," diver Richard Pickering said. "It's impossible, absolutely impossible."
The search may have come up empty, but Jones said he is just happy he didn’t hurt himself during the fall.
"As long as I'm good, it's materialistic stuff," he said. "You can always get that kind of stuff back."
Just in case you woke up this morning foolishly thinking that you had a single thing in common with a professional athlete, Julio Jones is here to provide you with a painful reminder of just how much your life sucks. If hearing that he owns his own jet ski wasn't enough to make you feel like a lesser human being than knowing that he carelessly whips it around without feeling the need to remove a pea-sized piece of jewelry that could be traded in for a luxury car would certainly do the job.
That's why his decision to hire a goddamn team of divers to undertake a task that basically equates to finding a needle in an underwater hay stack just adds insult to the injury that bruised a vast majority of society's egos. I don't know the price tag on eliciting the help of those looking to make waves in the Coast Guard equivalent of the minor leagues, but the idea that the Falcons' All-World wideout even thought to enlist professional help to recover the sunk cost of his own stupidity/recklessness is a tell tale sign that he's doing far better at this crazy thing called life.
He may not understand that the terrain underneath some murky ass lake is much different than that of a swimming pool, but he sure as shit understands that being rich and famous allows you to treat an earring that was lost in ridiculous fashion like it's the body of a young boy who is reportedly lost at sea.
P.S. Perhaps I am being too hard on him. After all, it's definitely easier to lose jewelry in a lake than it is to lose a 25 point lead in a Super Bowl.
Jason Garrett Basically Called Lucky Whitehead A Liar Before Cutting Him...Due To A False Allegation
TMZ- Lucky Whitehead was telling the TRUTH -- he was not the man arrested for shoplifting on June 22, this according to Prince William County officials who say the REAL perp was an imposter.
We spoke with Commonwealth's attorney, Paul Ebert, who says the case against ex-Dallas Cowboys WR Lucky Whitehead has been dropped after an internal investigation into the arrest.
Long story short ... Ebert says the man was only "verbally identified" by the arresting officer at the crime scene. The arrestee did not have I.D. on him.
The man told cops he was Lucky Whitehead and gave them Lucky's information, including birthday and social security number, Ebert says.
The officers ran the information through the DMV system and believed the man they had arrested matched the photo of "Lucky Whitehead" that was on file.
After Lucky publicly declared his innocence, claiming he wasn't even in the state of Virgnia at the time of the arrest, officers went back and reviewed surveillance video at the convenience store.
Footage showed the suspect was NOT Lucky Whitehead.
Lucky's agent, Dave Rich, tells TMZ Sports, "Lucky is thrilled justice was served and his name was cleared. It's a shame that he came into town to do a camp for kids and he ended up getting cut by his professional football team."
In a weird way that completely lacks any logic whatsoever, I think the Dallas Cowboys just managed to achieve vindication for failing to recalibrate their organization's moral compass throughout the years. Consider this, they just caused themselves more trouble trying to rid themselves of an alleged troublemaker than they did while repeatedly turning a blind eye to their starting running back's laundry list of precarious situations that have just magically (i.e. monetarily) managed to avoid litigation.
It's generally a bad idea to take professional athletes at their word when those words are "I'm innocent!", but the organization that finally decided to concede talent due it's rap sheet just got validated for having a long standing absurdly high trust/bullshit tolerance in it's players. For maybe the first time ever, the Cowboys didn't defend a seemingly indefensible story...and it's ended up being as bad of a look for them as that time they knowingly signed a sociopathic domestic abuser to channel his psychosis into sacking the quarterback. They took a seemingly honorable stand against dishonesty and the results were somehow worse than when they refused to take an honorable stand against multiple accounts of assault.
I know Lucky Whitehead wasn't only cut because "it wasn't me" is a terrible defense when the culprit was identified by your name, birthday, and social security number. Obviously the fact that he's just not that good of a football player had a significant impact on the damage that a false allegation did to his job security. Hell, Ezekiel Elliott could tell Jason Garrett that he didn't spit in his eye while Jason Garrett was wiping the spit out of his eye, and the Cowboys Head Coach would act as if he were 'Half-Baked' and respond with "I believe him, yo. I don't know why, but I do". Ultimately, there's a direct correlation between talent and how much shit it's possessor is able to get away with. Just don't think for a damn second that Jerry Jones is the type of person to admit that instead of saying "see, that's why you should always defend your employees, no matter how absurdly guilty they look!".
Lucky Whitehead is currently heading to the Jets wondering whether or not he would have been better off getting locked up for stealing a 'Kit-Kat', and his former team gets to pretend that they gave morality the old college try when all they really did was try to make people forget they only employ criminals that offer more than mediocre kick return skills. Between this and the stolen dog ransom situation, I can't help but think it might be time for a name change.
In a super depressing way, this is oddly poetic. I don't want to make light of a player's never-ending battle with his own body to stay on the field, because Danell Ellerbe showed flashes of greatness (relative to the piss poor defense he was a part of) during the fleeting moments in which he wasn't injured. However, I would simply be ignoring the irony if I didn't point out how fitting it was for his last days as a New Orleans Saint to play out with him physically unable to contribute a damn thing to the New Orleans Saints.
Due to no fault of his own (other than questionable genetics), Danell Ellerbe basically strung along an entire franchise and their fanbase. He led them (i.e. us) on with an unspoken promise of better days being ahead when he proved capable of defending the pass and rushing the passer, and left us standing their unfulfilled when his name inevitably popped up on the injury report just three days later. Knowing the Saints' luck/medical staff, some team will scoop him off the waiver wire and he'll magically become more durable than 'Deadpool'. Until that day comes, my skepticism about whether or not 6-8 games of Danell Ellerbe is better than 16 games of the 53rd man on the roster is temporarily quelled by freeing myself of the bi-weekly stress of wondering when those 6-8 games were going to come. Plus, if the goal was to find some defensive consistency then this was simply a move that had to be made.
Now, I certainly hope that Sean Payton's optimism about the additions the team made over the offseason played a large part in the decision to cut ties with Danell Ellerbe. Given his track record, I'm not sure his positivity and confidence means all that much. That said, he damn well better have at least seen the makings of a solid, yet unspectacular linebacking core before he preemptively cut potentially the most skilled person in it. If nothing else, this puts more pressure on players like A.J. Klein and Manti Te'o to make seamless transitions into a new system and players like Craig Robertson and Nate Stupar to build on fairly promising seasons, because the Saints damn sure didn't have enough proven talent last year to risk losing even the most unreliable of talent this year.
Dan Gilbert Continued His Hot Summer By Putting Out An Extremely Caucasian Ad For His Detroit-Based Real Estate Company
TheComeback- It’s been a bad summer for Cavs owner and real estate mogul Dan Gilbert. While he’s been busy blowing up a potential Cavs dynasty to rival the Warriors, his Detroit real estate company, Bedrock, put out a controversial ad in downtown Detroit that started a public firestorm.
According to a 2010 census, 83 percent of Detroit’s population is African-American. Bedrock put out a new ad campaign, captioned “See Detroit Like We Do,” displaying a very different image of the city, in which almost everyone is white...
What else can ya say, really? When you're hot you're hot, and I'll be damned if Dan Gilbert is going to leave a heater. I'm not sure the father-in-law from 'The Hangover' had executive incompetence in mind when he dropped that timeless quote. However, you can bet your sweet ass that the owner of the Cleveland Cavaliers has turned up the heat on himself this summer with what can only be considered business so bad that it could masquerade as professional trolling.
Honestly, shame on us for thinking that it was impossible to top (well, to be more accurate, bottom out) decision making so poor that it has almost guaranteed the impending departure of the best basketball player on the planet. We should all slap ourselves on the wrist from believing that Dan Gilbert couldn't do worse than somehow getting his All-Star point guard to demand a trade away from LeBron James during his ongoing streak of seven straight NBA Finals appearances. How could we be so dumb? Of course the man who has singlehandedly given morons a reason to believe that they too can beat stupidity's odds and become rich as fuck was capable of signing off on a casually racist advertisement that basically took a predominantly black region of the country and draped it in the country club's most ivory of linens.
Say what you want about the absurdity of having a caucasian jazz musician represent Detroit, but don't say that 'Bedrock Real Estate' didn't paint a whitewashed picture so "pure" that it could double as an ad for Benjamin Moore's newest shade of privilege. I mean, if you're going to drastically misrepresent the population of a predominantly African American city then you might as well push your agenda so far that it's impossible to dismiss. Dan Gilbert's might be unfathomably dumb, but you can't say that he doesn't own his absence of a functioning brain through the way he conducts just about all of his business ventures.
I don't know if the point was to pander to Klan member clientele, but if it was then he's pretty much begging for his Yelp! reviews to turn into a proverbial torch burning once his customers meet the neighbors. The fact that he apparently views Detroit as whiter than Kyrie Irving's yacht parties is either a testament to the prescription on his billionaire-colored glasses, or a testament to his lack intelligence. Either way, it's so impressively tone deaf that it almost makes you forget that we are talking about the same guy that essentially set the clock on the ticking time bomb that is his own professional sports franchise, and I truly didn't think that was possible.
::checks bank account::
::looks in mirror::
Well shit, it appears that I didn't get caught up in some 'Freaky Friday'-esque scenario and morph into one of the best left wings in the entire NHL over night, but I'll be damned if Taylor Hall and I aren't temporarily sharing a brain. In fact, I think it's safe to say that the unbridled optimism of the Devils' forward who is most desperate to expedite the rebuilding process falls in line with that of every fan that has gone on the offensive in repeatedly checking Twitter for that inevitable defensive upgrade.
With each passing day it becomes ever-so-slightly less likely that it's coming, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't breathing easier knowing that someone inside the organization has the confidence that I have started to lack. Taylor Hall could very well be trying to speak a competent blue line into existence and he very well may be using his rectum to do so. That, however, is certainly a better source than the wall that Devils' fans have been using as a sounding board in an effort to sooth their concerns about the upcoming season.
Honestly, it's just good to know that someone far more in the know than myself hasn't given up hope/delusionally convinced themselves that Severson-Santini are on the verge of channeling their inner Niedermayer-Stevens. Taylor Hall could be setting himself up for disappointment, but not as badly as he would be if he expected last year's defense to be making any drastic strides going into next year.
Here's to praying that Ray Shero does what Ray Shero does and makes this summer even more exciting. If not for us fans then for the mental health of Taylor Hall who - I would have to imagine - is only saying exactly what Cory Schneider is thinking as he wakes up in a cold sweat having relived the defenseless nightmare that was last season.
Kyrie Irving Has Reportedly Asked To Be Traded, And Dan Gilbert Has Lit The Fuse Under His Own Championship Team
I can't sit here and say that I knew what LeBron James intended to do next summer when this offseason began. Only the most calculated player in NBA history knows that, and he's probably known it for months (maybe years) on end at this point.
That being said, you really just have to sit back in awe at the level of complete and total organizational incompetence that has all-but-guaranteed that a team that has gone to three straight NBA Finals will be left to rot in NBA purgatory in just 12 short months. Dan Gilbert refused to pay David Griffin - the man most responsible for helping to build Cleveland's first champion in half a century - and by doing do he essentially dumped gasoline on his entire own damn franchise and started flicking lit matches at it. It's literally only a matter of time before the relevance of the Cavaliers goes up in flames, and it's solely because a multi-billionaire didn't want to pay a couple extra million to the person whose efforts exponentially increased the value of his product.
Just take a second to think about this. Kyrie Irving is currently on the second best team in the NBA and on the same roster as the otherworldly player that turned his entire career around, and - because that roster is under the watchful eye of a man so goddamn stupid and stubborn - he preemptively wants off of it. It's almost unthinkable to imagine someone demanding a trade away from LeBron James, but apparently it's only equally as unthinkable as doing almost everything in your power to neglect the wishes of LeBron James prior to the last season that you have him under contract. Dan Gilbert has taken executive buffoonery to such an asinine level that I can't help but prematurely picture what is sure to be a messy aftermath that is tentatively scheduled for the Summer of 2018...if not far sooner.
The Parole Board Member That Rocked A Chiefs Tie At The OJ Simpson Hearing Offered His Explanation For Doing So
LBS- Perhaps the most bizarre storyline from Simpson’s parole hearing was that a member of the board was wearing a Kansas City Chiefs tie. That man was Adam Endel, and he explained his wardrobe choice to Sam Mellinger of the Kansas City Star.
Endel, who moved to Kansas City with his family when he was a young boy, knew how highly-televised Simpson’s hearing would be. He says his decision to wear a Chiefs tie had more to do with the cameras and less to do with Simpson himself.
“Yeah, that’s safe to say,” Endel explained. “It was one of those little things I figured someone might spot from Kansas City, but I didn’t realize it was going to blow up that much. It’s crazy now.”
“I can’t match things very well,” he said. “So I have to wear solid colors most of the time. My wife’s not around always.”
“I realize some people are going to be upset I wore a Chiefs tie,” he said. “That’s OK. They can be upset.”
You just can't help but to respect that level of fandom. I mean, literally nothing else in the world matters more to Adam Endel than rocking his team's colors and showing them the support they deserve. Not professionalism, not the perception of impartiality in the justice system, and certainly not fashion.
So his outfit made an ever-so-slight mockery of a hearing that ultimately resulted in the eventual release of a guy that probably murdered two people in a horrific manner without regret and still vehemently denies it so often that he's likely convinced himself that he didn't do it at all. I guess that's not the greatest of optics, but what else was a proud member of Chiefs Nation supposed to do? Let the viewing audience think that his rooting interests were one of the 31 other teams in the NFL? Not now, not never. He had one opportunity to let the world know his allegiance, and he wasn't about to let it slip just because it made him appear to care more about sports than the safety of society while making a critical decision about a legendary football player turned sociopath. Those that are upset about it can harbor as much ill will as they want, because none of them will be in attendance at 'Arrowhead Stadium' this upcoming season and those are the only people that this particular parole board member cares about. I, for one, can salute that level of dedication.