As Much As It Pains Me To Agree With Draymond Green, Damian Lillard Probably Shouldn't Be Talking About The Warriors
“I can only imagine what it would be like having him iso’ing on one side, and C.J. in a corner, and me on the opposite wing and Nurk (Jusuf Nurkic)…I can only imagine how hard it would be to guard us when it’s already hard to guard us.
“We can compete with anybody in the West, but I think when you get to those teams like Golden State, if we happen to run into them in a playoff situation now—we getting in the paint, and if they want to help off someone like Melo…good luck.”
I actually don't even think that's enough crying faces. I'm not the biggest Draymond Green enthusiast, but he easily could have doubled up on the emojis and I still wouldn't have thought it was overkill considering the absurdity of the statement in question.
Now, I certainly don't want the rest of the NBA to kneel at the Warriors' feet (though they'll inevitably be forced to do so anyway), so it's nice to see that there are still players out there who are far too confident in their team's ability to compete. However, maybe - just maybe - Damian Lillard should wait until a player is actually on his roster before touting how dangerous of a fit he will be in the offense. By all accounts, Carmelo Anthony wants no part of Portland, so it's a littttttle bit premature to be penciling his 20+ PPG into the Trail Blazers lineup.
I'm not a big "keep our name out of your mouth" guy and Golden State is certainly the benchmark by which all other teams should be fruitlessly measuring themselves. That said, it's probably wise for the leader of a team that got casually swept off the floor while Kevin Durant spent two of those games nodding in approval from the sidelines to not jump to some glorified conclusion before busting out the tape measure.
Even the Trail Blazers almost inconceivable addition of Melo wouldn't subtract from the Warriors championship odds, so using his extremely unlikely presence as the proverbial soapbox to stand on before trying to stand back-to-back with the the most statistically dominant team of all time is worth all the hysterical tears. Damian Lillard should be pushing his organization to add another All Star caliber player, but asking Draymond Green to bust out his lucky rabbit's foot in the process? Well, that just seems a tad excessive for an 8 seed whose leader is bragging about a team that's closer to coming to fruition on NBA2K.
No Sergio, NOOO! Never let 'em see you sweat, bud!
I think anyone that's ever picked up a golf club can relate to the feeling of wanting to use it as a weapon towards an in animate object, and every person walking this planet can relate to causing themselves pain in an extraordinarily stupid way. You just can't let observers know that you've done both at the very same time when your every move is sure to be caught on camera. If Sergio Garcia had waited until the next hole before he self soothed the shoulder that he injured out of anger than he could have pointed to any number of swings as the cause of his injury, but doing so immediately after trying to decapitate the shrubbery left no room for ambiguity. Showing weakness in a sport like golf isn't the worst thing in the world, but you certainly shouldn't be doing it at after taking unnecessary hacks at the hedges. Just got to grin and bear it in that scenario.
Although, if there's a person who has bought themselves some leeway to worry about nothing for the rest of the year, it's Sergio Garcia...
Ole Miss Head Coach Hugh Freeze Resigned, But Not Before Getting Busted For Calling An Escort Service From His Work Phone
Yahoo- In a stunning turn of events, Hugh Freeze has resigned from Ole Miss. The move comes after the school found at least one call from the coach to an escort service on his school-issued cell phone.
Athletic director Ross Bjork said the initial phone call originally was “attributed to a misdial.” But further vetting of Freeze’s phone records disclosed a “pattern of conduct” that led the school administration to confront Freeze this week. Bjork said he and school administrators spoke to Freeze Wednesday night.
“Coach Freeze was very transparent, open, honest and admitted the conduct,” Bjork said, without specifying what that conduct was.
Freeze met again with the Ole Miss administration Thursday morning and offered his resignation, which was immediately accepted. Bjork said that if Freeze had not offered his resignation he would have been fired for cause, citing the “moral turpitude” clause in Freeze’s contract. Bjork said there was no buyout of the contract and no settlement.
“He admitted that conduct to us,” Bjork said. “None of us are perfect. Nobody in this room is perfect. I think we need to respect how he resigned and respect his privacy.”
I can't be the only one that finds it hilarious that a short, preliminary call to an escort service is what ultimately got Hugh Freeze to resign from a tenure that was littered with transgressions that were exponentially more detrimental to the organization that employed him, right? There's no doubt he had to step down, because if you have the balls to use the company landline to get laid then there's no shortage of problematic behavior that's yet to be uncovered. If you feel you've got the authority to have your dick out at your work desk then you certainly have a looseness in understanding of "there's a time and a place" that your lack of common courtesy would surely allow you to shamelessly sweep a few hundred skeletons in your closet.
Still, the fact that calling an actual hooker got him "mutually" canned is laughable when he's long assumed the role of the college football's equivalent of a hooker in getting Ole Miss back to SEC respectability. We are talking about a guy that's been offering universally frowned upon services to recruits/players for years, but being willing to pay for a quick nut is what served as his last straw. It makes sense since breaking damn near every NCAA regulation technically/apparently only tested his "moral turpitude" clause, but I'll be damned if it's not funny/fitting that a guy that engaged in just about every professional violation his insanely public job had to offer was inevitably brought down by the perils of having an erect penis.
P.S. Considering Ole Miss held on to Hugh Freeze far longer than was socially acceptable, what would be a more interesting view, those phone records or his office under a black light?
An Army Veteran Was Asked To Take Down His American Flag While Tailgating For An Atlanta Braves Game
TheBigLead- A veteran wants an explanation as to why he was told he couldn’t fly an American flag during a tailgate before an Atlanta Braves game Monday night. Adam Mourdock was told by a parking attendant that flying an American flag was against team policy. When he asked to see a supervisor, she told him she was the supervisor.
Mourdock told CBS 46 the following about the incident:
“My whole life, it’s been our country, our family and the Braves. I fly a flag, an American flag directly above an Atlanta Braves flag at all home games.
“She said you need to take it down. It’s against the policy. There was no explanation, there was no policy in writing other than today that flag needs to come down.”
Mourdock, an Army veteran met his wife more than eight years ago, they’ve been married for six years, have two kids and are season ticket holders. They were tailgating in Braves Lot 29 North at SunTrust Park before Monday’s game when the incident occurred.
The Braves apparently don’t have a policy that says fans can’t fly flags, which makes you wonder what this parking attendant was thinking.
Alright, what am I missing here? Does anyone have footage of this inherently un-American suggestion and any pseudo-logical reasoning as to why is was made? I simply cannot let myself get roped in by this story, because there has to be an aspect of it that's being left out. An Army veteran was flying an American flag while doing the most American thing one can do - drink store bought beer in excess while loitering amongst parked cars - in preparation for a sport that's been dubbed "America's Pastime" and he was just asked to take it down out of the clear blue? There must have been thousands of flags - American or other - flying that day, seeing as it was a tailgate, so I am going to need more information here. I know there's no shortage of stupid things that people find themselves triggered by nowadays, but I thought that the stars and stripes were nationally considered a welcomed guest at the parking lot party.
That's why, in my estimation, one of two things could have happened here. Either the parking attendant is a terrorist, or the Army veteran was using the post as a weapon while he had his pants around his ankles pissing on every person whose parents didn't appear to be born in the continental United States. Neither of those things are included in this story, and it's really left me at a loss for an opinion until further notice. I simply won't take sides until I get an explanation, even if the red-blooded American in me wants to blindly support the troop.
Nick Saban And Kirby Smart Are Basically Predicting Football's Demise Because A Couple Players Skipped Bowl Games
CBSSports- It's been seven months since Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey skipped their bowl games, but their actions have created one of the hottest topics of the offseason.
What if, Saban wonders, ducking out for the pros before a bowl game becomes a college trend? Or worse…
"Same thing will happen in high school if they make the signing day before the season," Saban told CBS Sports. "It will take a few years, then some kid will say, 'Hey, I'm going to Notre Dame. I'm not playing my senior year.'
"Then the high school coach will go nuts."
"It's a major negative to me because it takes away from the team aspect of the sport," Georgia coach Kirby Smart said. "… Are we going to get to a point where someone commits to a college and says, 'I don't want to play my [high school] senior year for fear of injury?'"
Full disclosure? I find myself mildly disappointed by these quotes. You'd think that disappointment would stem from the fact that well compensated, highly esteemed college coaches are making a goddamn mountain out of a molehill because - for once - a select minority of athletically superior student athletes have finally chosen to take back a small sliver of power by sitting out meaningless games that could jeopardize their immediate financial future.
Shockingly, the opposite is the case. For the sake of humor, I actually wish that Nick Saban and Kirby Smart put a little more effort into drawing up fictitious dots just to connect them to the impending death of high school football. Can you imagine if they spent a couple more hours spent concocting reasons why it's wrong for unpaid laborers to opt out of risking their health in one last incredibly physical game that would be worthless if not for it's ability to put money in the pockets of everyone except for those participating in it? Surely they could have found a way to link the inevitable demise of society as we know it to their starting running back's absence from the lineup in their senseless season finale.
Think about all the absurd ways in which college football coaches blatantly ignore just how big of an injustice it is that they are basically paid millions to run a dictatorship whose success is predicated on the hard work of kids that can't get gifted a meal without being the subject of an investigation. You mean to tell me two of the best in the game couldn't draw up a better doomsday scenario than high schoolers with scholarships deciding not to play their senior year? Shame on them. If they absolutely had to paint some picture in which the sport or the coaches - at any level - are the victims then they should have used that brush to stroke a fire that was inevitably capable of burning the entire landscape of the billion dollar bullshit business that is collegiate athletics to the ground. They lubed up this supposed "slippery slope" with their nonsensical posturing, they might as well set it aflame....if only for the comedic purposes of those that know exactly what they are trying to do.
The Suns Hired James Jones As Their VP Of Basketball Operations, Because What Better Way To Get LeBron's Attention?
I actually love this move. Some might be critical of hiring an inexperienced, laughably unqualified former player whose career is vastly more noteworthy due to his close personal friendship with a certain superstar, but to that I say that there is levels to this shit. "This shit" being the desperate, likely fruitless pursuit of NBA relevance through the desperate, likely fruitless pursuit of LeBron James, and I'm pretty sure the Phoenix Suns just hit the top rung. Never mind clearing out cap space for max contracts, they cleared out a goddamn front office position for the person most likely to lure the league's most sought after player to a place that he has next to no interest in going.
If nothing else, I can't help but respect the creativity. Sure, by playing the "if your best friend jumped off a bridge, would you jump too in hopes of saving him?" angle they only increased their chances of signing LeBron in 2018 from non-existent to a complete pipe dream. However, is there really any downside to what stands approximately a 99.9% chance of playing out? Is James Jones really going to make a team whose one shining moment of the season was a lopsided loss in which their best player happened rack up 70 points notably worse? I think not.
Maybe it's not likely that LeBron's locker room leader is already some organizational wizard that is ridiculously adept at talent evaluation, but it's also not likely that we'll be able to tell the fucking difference when James Jones is frantically texting his BFF from rock bottom next summer. Hell, if I were the Suns I would see if Maverick Carter is interested in the GM job. Devin Booker is only getting you so far, so you might as well as upheave your entire front office to placate to a guy whose biggest issue is how much he mistrusts his current team's braintrust. Worst case scenario is that their franchise's championship aspirations remain resting firmly at the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean when LeBron goes to Los Angeles in 11 months. No harm, no foul as far as I can tell.
Dallas PD Has Put An End To The Investigation Of Ezekiel Elliott's Assault...Three Days After It Took Place
First, a casual reminder of the aftermath...
Yeaaaaah, I'm not exactly sure it should be considered commendable, but I'll be damned if it's not impressive how much the fine folks of Dallas care about their football. Seriously, it's like they aren't even trying to mask that their moral compass has basically been replaced with a 'Make Some Noise'-O-Meter.
Consider this, the goddamn police department put an end to an investigation regarding a physical assault that was at least partially caught on camera because the victim - who is likely trying to figure out how to eat through a straw - didn't pick up his home phone. Poor bastard is probably heading under the knife to get his face surgically reconstructed, and local law enforcement has deemed that the statue of limitations for justice in Cowboys related incidents is nothing more than an amount of unreturned missed calls that wouldn't even have his mother in a panic. While it's unbelievably shocking that the guy who was bleeding profusely out of his mouth just three days ago doesn't have his testimony at the tip of his tongue quite yet, I would think it would be wise to let him recharge his battery (literally and figuratively) before determining that he's unreachable.
Unfortunately, intelligently-led, unbiased investigations are impossible when they take place in Texas and the culprit has a star stuck to the side of w his helmet. You play under Jerry Jones and know how to tot that rock then all you have to do is beat someone silent for the better part of a work week and you're free to go, my friend. I don't know how well that sits with a league that loves nothing more disciplinary action, but it's sure as shit a testament to the prioritization of patrolling the gridiron over patrolling the city. Realistically, some hush money more than likely exchanged hands, but I'm not even sure that it was necessary since that punch probably kept the victim's broken face muted until well after Dallas PD apparently felt this easily solvable case was better left cold.
TSN- Nolan Patrick, the second overall pick in last month's draft, has been sidelined again, this time by an infection in his face.
The Flyers confirmed Thursday Patrick would be held off the ice due to the issue.
Patrick was unable to take part in on-ice activities at the team's development camp earlier this month due to his recovery from a second abdominal surgery.
The 18-year-old played in only 33 games in the WHL last season due to a misdiagnosed sports hernia, leading to his second surgery in late June.
The Brandon Wheat Kings centre was also unable to appear in the WHL playoffs due to a leg injury. He's broken his collarbone twice and underwent the first sports hernia surgery last summer.
I don't want to question the words of the late, great Tupac Shakur because revenge very well may be the sweetest joy next to getting pussy, but I do wonder whether he passed away before getting a taste of true vindication. I suppose it's inherently wrong that I laughed maniacally when I saw that an extremely talented 18 year old kid had to be kept off the ice with a facial ailment. I just feel less bad about doing so since the 18 year old in question happens to be a Philadelphia Flyer who had the most punchable face on the planet before it got invaded by a mystery bug.
Maybe the day will come where I'll feel empathy for Nolan Patrick due to the fact that his brittle body is only surpassed in vulnerability by an immune system that rivals that of a toddler. That day, however, damn sure ain't today. Not when the proud members of 'Team Nico' are too busy celebrating the fact that their preferred prospect has taken a commanding lead before a single meaningful puck has been dropped. I like to think I have the ability to be compassionate towards members of organizations that I loathe, but pity isn't currently my top priority after spending two months touting Nico Hischier as the future #1 center that isn't a pimple away from being physically unable to perform.
Seriously though, isn't about time that everyone else follows my lead and dismisses this notion that a player can't be injury prone at such a young age? The Flyers are like one more health problem away from investing in a padded quarantine that leads right onto the ice just so the #2 overall draft pick can participate in warmups, and I don't even blame them. Maybe the team doesn't want to disclose the nature of the "facial infection" because it's really just pink-eye that was obtained from breathing the air in Philadelphia, but if it's not then Nolan Patrick's body is such a liability that it's managed to discover an unknown illness. As if having yet another hernia surgery that brought his yearly total of exposed groins to a number that's only seen in the most widely attended of gang bangs wasn't a bad enough sign, now he's become patient zero for a nameless virus. It's totally possible that the kid starts drinking his milk, gets shot up with enough vaccinations to send Jim Carey screaming towards his apocalypse bunker, turns things around, and has a lengthy, successful career. However, let's not act like that isn't far less likely due to his genetic predisposition to watching Nico Hischier highlights from the trainer's table.
We should probably let him play an NHL game first, but I'm pretty close to suggesting that the Swiss phenom drop that mic....
Shockingly, The Man Who Stole Chad Johnson's Identity In An Attempt To Spend 18K At Louis Vuitton Got Caught
AspenTimes- Mervin Cabe of Miami told employees at the high-end luxury goods store that he was Chad Johnson — who is formerly known as Chad Ochocinco — in order to be able to make the purchase. Customers at Louis Vuitton must have a "profile ID" in order for their transactions to go through, according to an affidavit filed in Pitkin County District Court.
Cabe could not come up with the matching phone number to Chad Johnson's profile ID, though an employee did allow him to purchase $18,548 worth of items. Cabe initially tried to use a credit card that was twice declined to make the purchase, then pulled up an Apple Pay account on his cellphone, which worked, the affidavit states.
Cabe also told Aspen police officers he was Chad Johnson, though he gave them a date of birth different from the former football player's, the affidavit states. He also declined to show them the Apple Pay account and credit card number he used to purchase the items.
Officers described his behavior as "highly evasive" and said he "kept making excuses and repeating the same nonsensical story," according to the affidavit.
Cabe was charged with identity theft and unauthorized use of a financial transaction device, both felonies.
You know, I generally don't give credit to identity thieves that don't have the presence of mind to choose victims that aren't easily recognizable former professional athletes that look absolutely nothing like them. After all, if you told someone you could get away with walking into a high-end retail outlet dressed in a $10, printed-on tee-shirt and spending 5 figures of a universally known public figure's money then they would surely respond with "child please".
That said, if you are going to try to do so then you might as well target a guy whose name used to be a much brighter red flag. Everything is relative, and Chad Johnson as Chad Johnson is much more discrete than Chad Johnson as Chad Ochocinco. Not nearly as discrete as Rick Johnson the friendly neighborhood accountant or Mike Johnson the town dentist, but I can still see how Mervin Cabe thought he was catching the loudmouth, trash talk expert with a nac for electric catchphrases while he was at his most vulnerable.
Unfortunately, that level of vulnerability pales in comparison to the level of vulnerability of literally anyone that hasn't had their own reality show spinoff from a wildly successful NFL career. That's just a lesson that this frumpy, nervous, and unprepared crook surely will have learned after going over it in his head every day for the next 15-20 years.
I appreciate a passive aggressive dig at a former coach/teammate/player as much as the next guy, but are we absolutely sure that's what this was? I'll admit I prematurely had visions of fire emojis dancing around in my head when I read the caption to that tweet, but I would be lying if I said I didn't feel a little disappointed after listening. Seriously, how the hell is Doc Rivers supposed to answer that question?
"Biggest difference in our style of play? Hm, what the fuck do you think?"
"Biggest difference in our style of play? We'll be much more dependent on players that are a bug bite away from the injured reserve."
"Biggest difference in our style of play? ::looks woefully down at the floor and quietly weeps::"
Saying that the Clippers will rely more on ball movement might sound like a shot at a guy that is one of the best passers of all time, but really it's just a glorification of an offensive strategy that could very easily turn out to be a disastrous downgrade. Did people want the coach of an NBA team to sit in front of fans and media members alike and tell them that this experiment, generously speaking, has about a 50% chance of blowing up in their face?
Of course the Clippers will move the ball more. Even if Blake Griffin turns out to be the unstoppable point forward that we all stared at in awe as he dominated the Spurs in the first round of the 2015 NBA Playoffs, he's not going to be able to hold a candle to the basketball theologist known as "the point god". Milos Teodosic might make an international transition so smooth that it has 'The Office' hanging it's head in shame and he still wouldn't scrape Chris Paul's skill set. More Clippers will now touch the ball because they can no longer give it to one guy, say "make something good happen", and have that work out in their favor far more often than not. That's just a fact. It's a fact that comes off as a veiled insult when written without context, but it's a fact nonetheless.
And there it is, your weekly (probably daily if you're observant enough) reminder that the harder you try the more likely it is that you wind up looking stupid. When life launches lemons your way it's more realistic that you accidentally end up juicing them into your eyeball than conjuring up something that rivals 'Minute Maid'. That's not to say that Carlos Gomez shouldn't have tried to turn a long fly ball into a web gem, but it is to say he accepted the high risk of alley-ooping it into an embarrassing two run homer when he did. So often we expect life to play out like a movie, but those bullshit parodies tend to parallel reality more closely than we think.
That's why I don't want to be too hard on the Rangers' centerfielder. It was objectively funny to watch him swat his team into a three run hole, but it's not nearly as goddamn ridiculous as any of the times I have drawn blood trying to prove to myself that all Emeril Lagasse has on me is a wealth of fame (and money, for that matter), some sweet catchphrases, and countless businesses. You step out of your comfort zone and you might find out all that you're capable of....or you might get laughed at after uncomfortably running face first into the wall that is your potential.
Am I Supposed To Feel Bad For The Predators Fan That Found Out He Won Free Tickets To The Stanley Cup Final A Month Too Late?
Look, I'm not so far trapped in own bubble that I expect every single person to spend the hours between 9AM and 5PM scouring the cesspool of opinions that Twitter can often be. I know some people have jobs that are more important than the versatility of the latest meme.
That said, you just aren't going to convince me that a die hard fan who entered an online contest for some of the most elusive Stanley Cup Finals tickets in recent memory just forgot to check twitter for a full month. Andrew Fudge might be a Predators fan, but he's not a Predators fan that was deserving of seeing them play their most important game in franchise history live if he didn't have his phone glued to his hand during work hours during their entire cup run.
Hell, by the time the time the Devils finally got knocked off by the Kings in 2012 I'm pretty sure my boss knew to only disturb me when I was doing company related work, because the only times I looked truly focused were when I was turned into a paranoid schizophrenic by up-to-second line decisions and injury updates. Being a slave to social media isn't exactly a good thing, but i'll be damned if isn't a sign of how invested you are in your team come playoff time. That's not to say there's a direct correlation between twitter activity and fandom, but there is when the person that tries to use twitter activity to get free tickets doesn't even remember doing so. I guess I can applaud him for using a "woe is me" attitude to get some future freebies, but I'm not shedding any tears for the guy that should have been sweating while staring at his phone screen until he saw double while checking up on Ryan Ellis' playing status...
A lot of hockey fans are going to let this clip bunch their panties worse than running to catch a train on a humid summer day. After all, a lot of hockey fans are oversensitive ninnies that take offense when not every single person in the continental United States has the NHL box scores from the previous night memorized.
Now granted, the panel that just came to the agreed upon conclusion that the Atlanta Thrashers moved to a completely differently country than they did about a decade and a half before they did should know better considering they are paid handsomely to discuss sports on a national broadcast, but your outside of your mind if you think if you think it surprises me that they didn't.
ESPN has made no bones about their lack of interest in the NHL. Whether that was justified or not given their lack of financial incentive to cover the sport is irrelevant, because they made it pretty clear that they aren't going to do so in any respectable way when they laid off every employee that knew what a puck was (sans Buccigross) the second they started cutting staff.
If anything, hockey fans should treat this incredibly inexcusable slip up the same way they treat that Instagram photo of their ex tongue kissing the guy that she left them for. It's a undeniable sign that they can stop looking for signs. It's over. No matter how hard you plead, ESPN doesn't care about your sport and they don't care that they don't care about your sport so trying to shame them for it falls on ears so deaf that would make Hellen Keller look like she has the hearing of a Jack Russell Terrier. You want to start mapping out the miles between Winnipeg and Nashville to send some message then be my guest, but you might as well stick that message in a bottle and send it out to sea, because it would have just as good of a chance of reaching an unwilling recipient.
Ah winning, the ultimate elixir. Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a bad baseball team having some fun by taking time out of their monotonous schedule to lay to rest the quickly antiquing equipment of their quickly antiquing outfielder. However, there are definitely some fans and media members out there that take umbrage with athletes that have a good time off the field despite their failures on it.
Shockingly, those people tend to shut the hell up when the team has a .667 winning percentage and is 15.5 game lead on the next best team in their division. If there is a time where a fictitious funeral is objectively funny to even the most skeptical pessimist with the sharpest of sticks up their rectum then it's when the congregation is 62-31 and proven they can do absolutely no wrong on the field. Never mind burying a glove, they could bury a body and the Houston faithful might still be inclined to turn a blind eye to the Astros' extracurricular activities. They could all show up to the ball park half in the bag and reeking of the cheap perfume found only on the undergarments of scantily clad women of the night and they would still be lauded for their ability to find entertaining ways to come together as a team. You win games and every thing you do during your down time is considered bonding, but if you lose games then literally everything you do during your down time is considered a reason as to why you are losing. Essentially, the media will let you mourn a mitt without criticism....you just have to have far and away the best record in the American League first. Good thing that's exactly what the Astros have or Carlos Beltran's days in the field would have died the loneliest of deaths.
TBL- Michael Vick appeared on The Herd with Colin Cowherd, hosted today by Jason Whitlock. After being asked about Colin Kaepernick, Vick first said that Kaepernick’s protests were “a good thing,” and then expressed his opinion on Kaepernick this year.
“The stand that he took has nothing to do with him not having a job and playing in the National Football League right now,” Vick told Whitlock. “And being frank, Colin didn’t have the best two years his last two seasons. It wasn’t as productive as what we’ve seen him do.
Is 'Speak For Yourself' not the most ironic name for a talk show in the history of television? Seriously, considering Mike Vick has never made any asininely conservative statements before, I don't think I am stepping too far out of bounds by thinking his ultra-contrarian platform had a little bit of an influence on his outlandish opinion about the importance of haircuts that also features blatant hypocrisy.
Trust me, I would love to be able to take Mike Vick's word as gospel. I don't want to believe that a predominantly white group of NFL owners are taking a stand against the seated stand against oppression when they actively let a man who orchestrated the brutal, mass murder of pets for sport back into their league. To do so would require an insanely ass backwards set of priorities. Unfortunately, it's impossible to think there is anything else other than the active muting of (what shouldn't be) an unpopular opinion at work when a man who had relative success on a laughably shitty team while playing a position whose league-wide talent is relatively woeful remains unemployed. If quarterbacks that relied heavily on their athleticism - as well as a resume featuring a pretty small sample size of otherworldly success - had no place in the NFL then Mike Vick would have retired a hell of a lot earlier than last year. That's just a fact, so either the man that ultimately set the stage for players like Colin Kaepernick undercut his fight for equal rights by attacking his skill set in order to pander to the programmers at FS1, or this dragnosis might not be too far off...
....that is, unless you truly believe that NFL teams are making business decisions based on the frequency with which a player visits the barbershop.
Redskins President Bruce Allen Was Unable To Ink Kirk Cousins To A Deal After Repeatedly Calling Him "Kurt"
...because what better way to talk your dorky starting quarterback into signing a long term deal that is well below his market value than by negging him into thinking he's less important than he is by repeatedly getting his government identification wrong? I'm not even being facetious. Literally denouncing Kirk Cousins by name doesn't seem like the worst idea if you're trying to get him to sign on a fairly insulting dotted line. Obviously it didn't work because most athletes have far too many money men on their side to get financially manipulated by the passive aggressive actions of tight wadded executives. However, if there were a professional athlete whose heart was vulnerable to games than Kirk Cousins certainly fits the profile.
That's why my biggest issue with Bruce Allen wasn't his decision - and don't let him tell you differently, it was a decision - to merely get one letter of his most important player's first name right. My biggest issue with Bruce Allen is that he went too far with it by doing so six goddamn times in two minutes. As anyone that has hit on a girl that is out of their league can attest, a timely backhanded compliment can work wonders. It's when those backhanded compliments start to pile up that their target begins to sense their intention. Subtlety is a fine art, and Bruce Allen was scribbling so far outside of the lines that it would lead one to believe that he were trolling. Slip in one "Kurt" and maybe it leaves the marginalized party thinking his name could easily be replaced by any other stereotypically white name that is attached to someone with an NFL arm. Slip in six "Kurts" and it becomes mighty easy to catch the Redskins President red-handed.
The Phillies Got Gifted A Run When The Pirates First Baseman Got Mesmerized By A Flying Louisville Slugger
This - right here - is why 162 games are simply too damn many. You know why? Because it's not every day that Josh Bell sees a baseball bat get sent into orbit, but it's basically everyday that he stands at first base during the dog days waiting for something fucking interesting like that to happen.
I know that professional athletes get paid millions of dollars so they should be more wary of the game they are playing. However, since that game is played daily throughout the summer months I can kind of understand getting caught looking at a piece of lumber heading towards the unsuspecting face of a fan in the 25th row during the 3rd inning of a mid-July contest between two crappy teams. You do that much monotonous work and you're bound to get caught daydreaming once awhile. It's not always going to result in a laughable error in which the ball zings right past your chin as you like up into the sky like you've just seen a pretty butterfly, but - speaking from the perspective of the casual, unbiased viewer - it's a hell of a lot more hilarious when it does.
Ah, hockey. The only sport where a competitive athlete can be ready to give the person whose teeth his fist just whizzed by shoulder to lean on before that final punch has even finished hitting nothing but air. That may look like not-so-friendly fire to you, but I see team building. After all, what's a bonding experience is it doesn't have the potential of requiring a dentist's visit? I don't know a damn thing about Zach Saar or Jared Wilson, but I do know they just beat some mutual respect into one another. You see that hug? That was essentially an agreement to only fight on another's behalf for the rest of their careers. May have been a pretty aggressive way to get to such an adorable understanding, but I'll be damned if it didn't give them something to laugh about over dozens upon dozens beers.
Patrick Beverley Needs A New "Hotel Alias" After Becoming Teammates With The Source Of His Former One
I can't tell you how the game of newest Los Angeles Clipper, Milos Teodosic, is going to translate internationally. I do know it was a pretty savvy pick-up considering they basically got left at the alter by Chris Paul and needed to stay relevant by any means necessary in a huge market. I'm no basketball savant, but taking a chance on a guy that freaks this many foreigners with okey-doke dishes seems like a worthy gamble...
And if a highlight video wasn't enough to prove that then an endorsement from a proven NBA player who also happens to be a former teammate certainly should be. It's one thing for Patrick Beverley to applaud Milos Teodosic's obvious ability to thread the needle more precisely than the most crafty of grandmother, but to use his government name as an alias? Looks like someone made an impression. Obviously it's also a pretty sweet pseudonym to take on, but pro athletes aren't tipping their hat to players overseas by adopting a name that could easily be Googled if that search ain't returning some awe-inspiring results. I have no idea how Milos Teodosic's NBA career is going to turn out, but I'm confident that anyone who has tried stealing his identity in the past has faith in his prowess as a professional point guard, because no one is trying to go undercover as a bum.
The Knicks Signed Tim Hardaway Jr. To A 71 Million Dollar Offer Sheet, And Must Really, Really Hate Their Fans
Annnd all it took was a week and a half for the incompetence of the New York Knicks to completely restore the tattered legacy of the senile old man whose idea of team building was taking a sledgehammer to their organization infrastructure. Okay, so maybe Phil Jackson can't be left completely off the hook for doing such a bad job that he made James goddamn Dolan look like a heroic figure upon his firing. Still, it has to be considered a win that the team he actively tanked is trying to tie a 71 million dollar brick to their foot instead of coming up for air.
To be quite honest, on the surface I don't hate this decision as much as most people. Paying top dollar for a pure scorer whose barely average at scoring is inherently a silly decision, but it's not like there will be any superstars fighting tooth and nail to get max contracts from a sports franchise that's run like a circus any time soon. That doesn't mean you should be backing up the truck to the doorstep of every Tom, Dick, and Legacy that can average double digit points at a below average clip for a brutal team, but it does mean it likely won't hamstring their immediate future.
What makes this decision so much worse in theory than it is in execution is that the all the New York Knicks needed to do was trade Carmelo Anthony for literally anyone that either has a pulse or could hypothetically have a pulse in the future then lock themselves in a closet until October to appease their fans. Honestly, that's how low the bar was for a successful offseason was. Excommunicate the executive who has two fists full of championship rings, cut ties with one of the best - albeit beleaguered - scorers in the NBA, and design a game plan that allows Kristaps Porzingis to do literally whatever the fuck he wants at all times. If they had done just that they would have gotten a reaction that had the casual observer pinching himself thinking that Willis Reed just hobbled back out onto the court with a broken leg during Game 7.
Instead they decided to create one of the worst optics in sports history by offering 1,000 dollars on the 6 cents they originally made on the same damn asset. The blindly run organization that oddly enough would have benefited from playing possum just bit the bullet on a bear of a contract for no apparent reason, and now has to pray that another team is dumb enough to do the same. The Knicks are to moronic decisions what a set of keys is to a baby...if that baby couldn't tell the difference between a set of keys and a basket full of steak knives. That actually makes me feel bad for their battered and beaten fanbase that - at this point - has to consider no news to be the best kind of news.