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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Much Like Almost Every Football Thrown in His General Direction the Last Three Years, 100 Million Dollar Mike Finally Secured His Bag

7/31/2019

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The #Saints & star WR Michael Thomas have reached a blockbuster, 5 yr $100M extension. This contract makes Thomas the highest paid WR in NFL History. He’s also the first non-QB offensive player to sign a $100M contract. Agents @DavidMulugheta & Andrew Kessler negotiated the deal.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) July 31, 2019

For the #Saints and WR Michael Thomas, his 5-year, $100M extension includes $61M in guarantees, sources say. And one of training camp’s holdouts is over.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) July 31, 2019

It might read like a weird thing to write about a contract negotiation that resulted in a star player’s absence from a Super Bowl contender’s training camp, but I don’t think there was a more fitting way for the New Orleans Saints and Michael Thomas to finally commit to each other for the next five years. Honestly, given everything we’ve come to know of a braintrust that’s always been bullish on their ability to replace skill position players who are up for a raise and a wideout who was aggressively and openly aware of his need for a massive one, it wouldn’t have felt right had the two sides been ready to break the bank immediately after breaking the proverbial bread. If it had been as easy as we were being led to believe prior to his holdout, I’d have spent more time trying to find a catch than the Saints’ offense when Michael Thomas wasn’t the intended target last season. Therefore, in the sense that some of Mickey Loomis' funny money was necessary in the making of a milestone extension, the extra time it took to get signed, sealed, and delivered really reinforced the belief that Michael Thomas is the perfect Saint, as he basically reflects the near-stubborn confidence of the front office that just rewarded it.

Please allow me a 50 mile head-start before telling him I said so, but Michael Thomas isn’t the best wide receiver in the National Football League. What he is, however, is close enough to that crown to quite easily justify leveraging the Saints’ over-reliance on his efforts in the passing game into an amount of zeros previously unmatched amongst offensive players that don’t wear a different color jersey at this time of year. What he might lack in game-breaking ability he makes up for in the proficiency of his efficiency. Never mind keeping happy the go-to guy that’s helped a first ballot HOFer age gracefully as he looks to add another ring to his finger before waving goodbye to the game. Think it might matter that when Drew Brees inevitably rides off into the sunset that his replacement will be lucky enough to throw to a reliable playmaker who is such a guarantee to catch everything thrown in his general vicinity that it makes you believe he can't possibly come as advertised without there being some tomfoolery in the fine print?

This.

Michael Thomas caught 85 percent of passes his way last season. That catch rate is basically impossible, and he did it while facing double-/triple-coverage much of season. #Saints

AB: 62%
OBJ: 62%
Mike Evans: 62%
Julio Jones: 66%
Keenan Allen: 71%
D. Hopkins: 71% https://t.co/Pd5liluah5

— Jeff Nowak (@Jeff_Nowak) July 31, 2019

Historical precedent might say that paying top-dollar for receivers doesn’t result in a high level of organizational success, but all that history serves as to a player as profoundly prideful as Michael Thomas is a challenge...

Most catches through a player’s first three seasons in NFL history:
1. Mike Thomas: 321
T-2. Jarvis Landry: 288
T-2. Odell Beckham, Jr.: 288
4. A.J. Green: 260
5. Anquan Boldin: 259

— Field Yates (@FieldYates) July 31, 2019

We're talking about someone who is so self-motivated that I wouldn't be surprised if his biggest rival was his mirror. Someone who relies just as much, if not more so, on expertise as athleticism. Someone whose attitude and work ethic are infectious throughout the locker room. Position aside, Michael Thomas is the type of competitor you don't mind paying big money to because he makes everyone better and there is no amount of dollars that could pay away his undying desire to be dominant.

Of course, the Saints really had no choice but to pay him big money as the window to win a championship is closing by the day and they certainly weren't doing so without #13 on the field drawing attention and bullying open passing windows for Drew Brees. Still, the concerns that come with paying a premium for a pass-catcher aren't as worrisome when said pass-catcher has a chip on his shoulder than even surgery couldn’t remove and fully bought into a cohesive culture long before his annual salary allowed him to buy any damn thing he pleases.
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Who Better to Punctuate This Summer's Massive Migration of Talent to the New Jersey Devils Than The Goose Himself

7/29/2019

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Sources tell The Athletic the Golden Knights gave Nikita Gusev's camp permission to meet with the New Jersey Devils this weekend, to see if a deal on a contract could be reached.

No trade has officially been reached but I'm told a deal could be coming soon. #VegasBorn

— Jesse Granger (@JesseGranger_) July 29, 2019

pic.twitter.com/IZ3G1ZsESr

— New Jersey Devils (@NJDevils) July 29, 2019

Additionally, the club has agreed to terms with the restricted free agent to a two-year contract with an average annual value of $4,500,000.

— New Jersey Devils (@NJDevils) July 29, 2019

You know, when the celebration of this offseason title finally subsides, there should be no shortage of apologies addressed to the man that turned a bad team with money to burn into one of the NHL’s most exciting rosters in the short time it typically takes for some fans to convince themselves that they are better at his job. Honestly, I want strong consideration given to constructing a confessional booth on the Prudential Center concourse between now and opening night for preseason use by any and every idiot that slandered Ray Shero for his reluctance to commit the sins of cap-strapped teams before him by falling victim to the fool’s errand that is free agency. I don’t know about you, but the irony of him being able to give Devils’ twitter exactly who they desperately wanted - with the shrewd acquisition of the best player outside the NHL - solely because he left them to spend a season-plus screaming into an empty void of an echo chamber while obsessing over the prospect of overpaying for past performance isn’t lost on me. 

As for the actual player that serves as the next chapter of what’s been a quick and complete organizational rewrite, I’m not sure there’s anything other than his nationality that’s not to love. Once you get over the entirely understandable and otherwise undying trust issues that come with New Jersey signing another offensive-minded Russian, Nikita Gusev perfectly fits the bill of what the Devils openly prioritized at the very public request of their impending free agent of an MVP...

A summary of #NJDevils Taylor Hall saying smart things:

- Said NJ needs more talent, both additions + players here getting better

- Said it was better to finish (29th) instead of 5 pts out of the playoffs

- Said you can learn more listening to ppl close to you than talking

— Corey Masisak (@cmasisak22) April 8, 2019

If absolutely nothing else, he is pretty much the personification of talent. He might not be the most physically imposing or fleet of foot of talent, but the skillset of someone that compares favorably to a New York Ranger that shall remain nameless are as undeniable on the ice as they are in the analytics...

Gusev's age-23 KHL season 13G, 22A, in 33 GP (1.06 PTS/GP)
Panarin's age-23 KHL season 26G, 36A, in 54 GP (1.15 PTS/GP)

Gusev's age-27 contract (2-years/$4.5M AAV)
Panarin's age-28 contract (7-years/$11.64M AAV)

— CJ Turtoro (@CJTDevil) July 29, 2019

NHLe for KHL is set at 0.75 last time I checked. So Gusev's NHLe PTS/GP was 0.99 in this, his age-26 year.

In Panarin's age-26 year (2018) he scored 82 points in 81 GP with Columbus which is 1.01 PTS/GP

— CJ Turtoro (@CJTDevil) July 29, 2019

How well it’ll translate to the NHL can obviously be questioned, but its existence can not. The player that owns two KHL MVP awards and the second highest scoring season in league history has star-power potential and he’s joining a team that hardly even needs him to fully realize it as he is presumably the final, complimentary piece to a formidable Top-6. With the risk of throwing in some ‘B’ level assets in order to pay an unproven commodity nine million over two years being minimized by the fact that the Devils don’t need full financial flexibility until those seasons have elapsed, it becomes pretty hard to envision it not being easily matched by the reward of rostering a preposterous amount of puck skills.

Whether or not the Goose takes flight towards the top of a lineup that’ll cater to his creativity remains to be seen, but Ray Shero’s laser-focused vision for the long-term future of the franchise he’s built from the barest of bones is not. Championship contention isn’t exactly around the corner, but it’s a hell of a lot closer than it was in April. That’s due in large part to the possibilities that patience provides, and those possibilities appear damn near endless with the Devils renovating their roster by adding Jack Hughes, P.K. Subban, Wayne Simmonds, Ty Smith, Nikita Gusev, and potentially Jesper Boqvist to a flock that’ll look almost unrecognizable for all the right reasons.
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By Hook or By Crook, Kawhi Leonard Gave the Lakers Exactly What They Deserved in Spurning Them for the Clippers

7/8/2019

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Free agent forward Kawhi Leonard has informed runners-up teams of his plans: He's signing with the Clippers, league sources tell ESPN.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

Oklahoma City is trading All-Star Paul George to the Los Angeles Clippers for a record-setting collection of draft choices, league sources tell ESPN.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

Sources: Oklahoma City is getting a massive package of future picks, including Shai Gilgeous-Alexander and Danilo Galllinari, to deliver Kawhi Leonard who he wanted to partner with: Paul George. https://t.co/4bGpMNat8K

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

Kawhi Leonard has been recruiting Paul George to find a way to get to the Clippers and LA pulled it off tonight: George goes to the Clippers with Leonard, and together they walk into Staples Center to go head-to-head with LeBron James and Anthony Davis.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

After Leonard pushed George to find a way to get to the Clippers, Paul George approached the team and requested a trade, league sources tell ESPN. OKC was left with no choice and made the best out of a difficult situation, per sources.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

The Clippers are sending the Thunder four unprotected first-round picks, one protected first-round pick and two pick swaps, league sources tell ESPN. Those picks go to OKC with Gallinari and SGA.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

Sources: Leonard and George met in LA earlier in week. Clippers had long been frontrunners for Leonard, but it is unlikely he would've made final leap to sign without PG trade. Clippers imagined Leonard as part of a Lakers Big 3 --- and knew they had no choice. They did OKC deal.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

In the end, Kawhi Leonard didn't want to construct a Super Team with the Lakers. He wanted a co-star across the Staples corridor with the Clippers, and made it clear to Steve Ballmer and Lawrence Frank: Get PG, and I'm coming.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 6, 2019

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I don’t think Kawhi Leonard’s intention was to do anything other than put himself in the best possible position to win both now and later as the number one option for a team located in his beloved Southern California. He clearly accomplished just that in proving that robots are, indeed, en route to outsmarting and exterminating all of us by quietly forcing the hand of two separate franchises, while leaving two others lying in the lurch, to make an 11th hour trade that involved a record-setting return. At the end of the day, it's possible that the biggest reason the Lakers thought they had a real chance was because they convinced themselves they had a real chance, as the insertion of an exceedingly silent, ball-dominant assassin next to Anthony Davis in the LeBron James' media circus never made any sense whatsoever. 

That, however, doesn't make the collateral damage caused by his decision, with that being the complete compromising of the Lakers' superiority complex, any less sweet. I have a hard time believing that Kawhi Leonard had sticking it to Bron on the brain when he was playing hard-to-get with Jeanie Buss while going door-to-door around the NBA in trying to recruit a second star player to the Clippers...

The Lakers meeting with Kawhi Leonard was Tues afternoon at a hotel in Westlake Village. Only Jeanie Buss and Rob Pelinka were there, at KL’s request. The location had been switched from El Segundo, at KL’s request, w/ in 24 hrs. It appears KL met with PG, nearby, same day.

— Ramona Shelburne (@ramonashelburne) July 6, 2019

Real Gs move in silence.

Kawhi not only tried to recruit KD and Paul George to be his partner in LA but he tried to recruit Kyrie too.

More: https://t.co/g0CUs9XhtV pic.twitter.com/7ZcAdaVcdf

— Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) July 8, 2019

However, if one were to plot out a maniacally meticulous plan of attack on the insufferable entitlement of an organization that couldn't be bothered to show a baseline level of competence in expecting a third transcendent talent to just fall in their lap? Well, I'm not sure they could craft a better backstabbing than the one that Kawhi Leonard just pulled off in leading on the Lakers for nothing more than leverage in making the Clippers more competitive. 

Uniting two stars who, in consecutive years, more or less told LeBron & Co. to piss in the wind despite both having an obvious affinity for Los Angeles, and doing so in a form and fashion that brought the most formidable of foe in-house? With the way his free agency played out, eventually leaving Rob Pelinka to pick from the scrap heap of what was left over of the mid-tier free agents he missed out on by chasing the dragon that is star-power (which he did a decent job of, in all fairness), you'd think Kawhi Leonard was seeking vengeance after being Don King'd by Klutch Sports. I'm not sure his plan was as devious as it was determined, but reminding the Lakers of their most recent free agency failures by going above and beyond to have them call home the same building in a less prestigious uniform is how you pour gasoline on a dumpster fire in showing a legendary organization the error of its current leadership.  

Kawhi Leonard sent the Lakers their reality check by choosing to both join and actively reinforce the deeper, more complete roster in Los Angeles while putting his trust in the city's most accomplished coach and executive. Whether they deposit said "check" or refuse to withdraw their head from their ass in continuing to live in LaLa Land remains to be seen. Regardless, they are currently the second-most flexible franchise in their own arena due to dumbass decision-making that couldn't possibly have done less to earn the services of the most deadly three-headed monster in NBA history.

It never made any sense for Kawhi to subject himself to a high-profile power struggle for possessions. The Lakers being unable to see that while going against the wishes of the introverted player they had targeted in aimlessly leaking baseless bullshit like they lost control of their organizational bladder tells you pretty much everything you need to know. They are a franchise that's been made spoiled by LeBron and his team choosing to make them relevant in prioritizing local interests outside basketball. They are a franchise that can't seem to wrap their head around AD only finding his way into purple and gold because they got desperate in giving up the entirety of their future for a 7-foot pawn on Rich Paul's chess board. Lastly, they are a franchise that was dead ass wrong in thinking they had some sort of right to a player who needs not to be part of such a shameless sideshow to win championships in Los Angeles. Long story short, the Lakers got what they deserved in the Kawhi sweepstakes...which was absolutely fucking nothing. 
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Kyrie Irving is Just Happy to be Home, Emphasis on "Happy"

7/3/2019

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View this post on Instagram

Home.

A post shared by Kyrie Irving (@kyrieirving) on Jul 1, 2019 at 9:14am PDT


Look, if Kyrie Irving, who was raised in West Orange, is just trying to pander to the regionally protective and overtly proud New Jerseyians that still call themselves Nets' fans by speaking so glowingly of "home" then...well...it's working, and well enough for me to ignore that he did so while crossing (up) the Brooklyn Bridge. I'm of no illusion that the Meadowlands would have been able to outmaneuver the mystique of MSG in gaining the the NBA spotlight of two simpatico superstars simultaneously. However, if Ian Eagle says Kyrie has contacted him to reminisce about running around Continental Airlines Arena in awe of Jason Kidd & Co. then that's exactly the type of gospel that can make me reconsider a reluctance to organized religion that compares favorably to ye' who shall not be named's skepticism of the government...

“The #Nets have done things the right way.” -Brooklyn play-by-play man Ian Eagle dialed us up for some major reaction to the newest hot ticket in town: pic.twitter.com/2C6ZyJbeK6

— Rich Eisen Show (@RichEisenShow) July 2, 2019

Ian Eagle on the @RichEisenShow stated that Kyrie personally reached out to him to chat about the Jason Kidd Era Nets. Kyrie loved that team.

Eagle also stated “I don’t think they are done.” He states Marks is going to get the backing of ownership.

— Mr_Jose_82 (@Mr_Jose_82) July 2, 2019

That said, one flat-Earth truther's affinity for his old stomping grounds (...or a place a borough and change away from them) wasn't my main takeaway from his upgrade to Carmelo's "I'm coming home" video. Instead, my takeaway was that Kyrie Irving is...::cleans out ears and turns up volume::...currently happy?!

If his tenuous and bipolar tenure in Boston is any indication, that could change with the wind of one media member blowing hot air, but man - if working alongside his friends helps the NBA's foremost idiot savant keep that same cosmic energy then the New Jersey Nets of Brooklyn could have big, big things on the horizon. So long as he reallocates the time he would have spent getting ludicrous leadership lessons from LeBron to self-preserving his sanity, the team he's joining should be markedly better while his running-mate rehabs. If he just keeps that third eye on the prize and his young teammates out from under any and all cross-borough buses then the insanely deep and developing roster Sean Marks has assembled should only incrementally improve by leaps and bounds over the next few seasons.

I somehow have more faith in Kevin Durant making a full recovery from a crippling injury that's crapped on the course of plenty of promising career paths than I do in Kyrie Irving's ability to maintain his current mood or keep to catering to his crazy while off-the-clock. However, if "home" (or something like it) is truly where his heart is and said heart is set on making things work with a team he grew up enamored by then he should (...being the operative word) be far from the only person bouncing over to Brooklyn with basketball on their brain and a smile on their face.

TL;DR: Don't worry Kyrie, as you can leave that to Nets' fans, just please be fucking happy. 
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We Might Never Again See an NHL Offer Sheet With How Badly The Hurricanes Bodybagged the Canadiens and Their Attempt to Sign Away Sebastian Aho

7/2/2019

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The Canadiens have announced that they have tendered an offer sheet to restricted free agent Sebastian Aho of the Carolina Hurricanes. The proposed contract is for five years, with an average annual value of $8.454 million.#GoHabsGo

— Canadiens Montréal (@CanadiensMTL) July 1, 2019

Breakdown of Aho offer sheet: $11.3M SB plus 700k salary in Year 1; $9.87M SB plus 700k salary in Year 2; $6.95 SB plus 750k salary in Year 3; $5.25 SB plus $750k in each of Year 4 and Year 5

— Pierre LeBrun (@PierreVLeBrun) July 1, 2019

Waddell on offer sheet: "It's certainly a surprise, it's a surprise it wasn't more. Literally we got the email at 2:40 today so all people are not fully aware yet."

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 1, 2019

Waddell: Aho is our best player and we want to keep him longterm. If you go back in time I think every offer sheet but one was matched.

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 1, 2019

Waddell: I know my summer just got better because I'm not going to spend all summer working on a contract now.

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 1, 2019

Waddell says he doesn't know if they'll use all seven days to match the offer sheet, signing right away allows the other team to sign more players and (smirks) "maybe I don't want to help them out right now"

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 1, 2019

Waddell strutted into this pre-set press conference like “how is everyone’s day?” 20 minutes after he received an offer sheet and started dishing out the one liners. You love to see it

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 1, 2019

Will we match the offer sheet for Sebastian Aho?

— Carolina Hurricanes (@NHLCanes) July 1, 2019

Folks, I can tell you that Hurricanes team executives were literally cheering about how easy the offer sheet would be to sign. It doesn't matter who is saying what right now.

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

The Hurricanes are matching the offer sheet and an announcement is coming within the hour.

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

"There was no concern at any point that we would not be able to match this contract. Once again, the Carolina Hurricanes should not be underestimated. We have a plan and all the resources to win a Stanley Cup.” - Don Waddell from the top rope

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Waddell: Sebastian never wanted to leave Raleigh, the agent felt that this would move the needle down the road.

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Waddell: "I truly believe this was driven by the agent. He had a finite time to sell what he was saying and he did. And now we move forward."

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Waddell: "I truly have a hard time understanding this whole thing"

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Dundon: "This sounds terrible but writing that check is no big deal. The fact that you're (Canadian media) asking me if 20 million is a lot might be how we got in this situation."

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Dundon: "If this was a test...it was an easy one."

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

I asked Dundon if he's worried this strains things with Aho's agent going forward:

"I couldn't care less about Sebastian's agent. It doesn't matter at all."

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Tom Dundon: "There's no scenario where Sebastian Aho doesn't want to be on the Hurricanes. If he said that it would be different but he didn't. The fact that an agent said it means that there's no credibility to it, number one."

— Sara Civ (@SaraCivian) July 2, 2019

Checked in with Habs to see if Marc Bergevin has any response to developments today on the Aho situation. He will not be making any statements today.

— Eric Engels (@EricEngels) July 2, 2019

And that, my friends, concludes your two day emasculation of a once-proud, long-storied franchise that might have the most wins in NHL history but couldn't save themselves from taking one of the most monumental L's. I was half kidding about never seeing another offer sheet throughout a league that has stigmatized them in such a way that the signing of one is comparable to the targeted spreading of an STD. However, I'm probably not far off with how savagely the "bunch of jerks" running a small market team in the South are do-si-doing atop the occupied cap space of an Original Six organization.

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Marc Bergevin looks like a complete buffoon, as he presumably got duped by an agent into doing Don Waddell's job for him in inking a point-per-game centerman in Sebastian Aho to a ridiculously reasonable deal to stay in Carolina for the next five years. There's dumb, and then there is insulting your own intelligence. Which category do you think front-loading a contract in an attempt to price-out an owner that, without so much as a second thought, sunk $70 million into the fool's errand that is trying to contend with the NFL falls under? I'll give you a hint, it's the one that allows the entirety of the Carolina Hurricanes' front office to publicly bend you over their knee and mix in abject mockery between metaphorical spanks with the wooden spoon while your negotiation tactics get laughed out of the room louder than Dr. Evil's. 

A team that is no stranger to being the butt of the joke is basically sitting on the head of a legendary franchise like the Montreal Canadiens and belly laughing while bullying them without even having to lift a finger until Monday. Knowing how tight-assed NHL GM's are when it comes to the attempted robbery of restricted free agents, I can't imagine such a relentless roasting does anything to make them unclench any time soon. Though, I suppose the easy way to avoid being victimized by a similar spectacle would be to spend two seconds on a Google search of a team owner's net worth or six seconds scanning their salary cap situation before finalizing something as intricate as an offer sheet. 

We didn't really get an offer sheet. We just got a lesson in how not to offer sheet.

— Matt Larkin (@THNMattLarkin) July 2, 2019
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Alex Morgan Celebrated What Turned out to Be the Game-Winning Goal by Sipping the Soul out of England

7/2/2019

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Alex Morgan scores her first goal since the opening game and retakes the lead in the Golden Boot race (6 goals, 3 assists)

She's the first player in #FIFAWWC history to score on her birthday □ pic.twitter.com/EGWBNIyaxI

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) July 2, 2019

Drinking the tea pic.twitter.com/z7UP7ehceM

— Paid man gets bored (@cjzero) July 2, 2019

See, now THAT is how you do it! Not by tainting what was a thoroughly dominant win over a entirely under-womaned Thailand team by running a goddamn Conga line through them after every uncontested goal. Instead, by feigning class in displaying what overly repressed idiots would consider a lack of class following a legitimately meaningful goal on a massive stage.

Mocking the time-honored traditions of literally every other country in the world is a time-honored American tradition, so I'm not sure Alex Morgan could have possibly done a better job paying homage to her homeland on the day of her birth. As far as I'm concerned, that was a red, white, and blueprint for how to express yourself at the expense of your international opponent. Go ahead, try to write up a think-piece on her perfect pinky extension without sounding like you didn't already have that bee in your bonnet, I dare you!

As long as they are celebrating things that are worth celebrating I thoroughly encourage the USWNT to troll the entire globe a dozen times over en route to winning back-to-back World Cups. Especially if the birthday girl can teach her teammates some more incredibly dignified ways to clown the customs of actual competition.

Sip on that England, but beware the bitter taste it'll leave in your mouth. On behalf of Alex Morgan, CHEERS!

Greetings from London, where I am injecting this into my veins. pic.twitter.com/ULthPGTfEC

— Dieter Kurtenbach (@dkurtenbach) July 1, 2019
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I Can't Imagine Myles Garrett Believes in Gravity, and for Good Reason

7/2/2019

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Never seen boxjumps quite like this before - @MylesLGarrett getting after it: pic.twitter.com/PYJxoNLL1l

— Michele Steele (@ESPNMichele) July 2, 2019

Oddly enough, given the absurdity of the feat, I don't think the most impressive part about this clip is Myles Garrett going from flat-footed to jumping multiple feet in the air with the free-weight equivalent of a prepubescent teenage boy in tow. Rather, I think the most impressive part of this clip is that, somewhere along his path to NFL stardom, the Browns' quarterback crusher just assumed he was strong and agile enough to be able to do so.

Of all the exercises out there, I'd say a box jump is one of the few that you don't even consider attempting unless you're at least 90% certain of your ability to complete it. I imagine that also stands true for professional athletes who, while inherently more confident, are just as likely to fall backwards and bust their ass or bang their head if their eyes do happen to travel higher than their vertical. Therefore, there was a time when Myles Garrett instinctually knew himself to be capable of adding injury to injury, in the form of weight to body mass, while spitting on the laws of science and standing to tell the tale before even successfully doing so. 

That time probably wasn't the one we just watched. After all, he seemed a bit too casual in his otherworldly athleticism, as if he were a seasoned vet of such superhumanity. However, with there being a first time for everything, the first time Myles Garrett circumstantially proved gravity a farce makes the umpteenth time seem just ever so slightly less impressive than the most impressive thing ever.
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Dame Lillard Called Bullshit on Enes Kanter's Claim That the Blazers Only Gave Him 6 Minutes to Decide on His Future

7/2/2019

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New Celtics center Enes Kanter via text to @TheUndefeated on why he didn’t return to Portland. pic.twitter.com/kznF6CUmbU

— Marc J. Spears (@MarcJSpearsESPN) July 1, 2019

Sometimes there’s a chance you lose out on two ppl because you’re waiting on one. What I can confirm is that my boy was not given 6 mins lol... he was prob down to 6 mins from the original 45 https://t.co/vDn4cfxVHg

— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) July 1, 2019

I was there. 45 mins ain’t that long either but nobody wana be left empty handed https://t.co/mtvT3jPNqU

— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) July 1, 2019

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You know what? I'm going to go ahead and say that Enes Kanter made the right decision in turning down the Trail Blazers, because - despite a couple impressive postseason performances - it's very clear he learned nothing during his time as one. He's always been a bit overly dramatic, especially online, but to have spent time with Damian Lillard as your teammate and not think he's not going to take a no-nonsense approach to any nonsense directed at the franchise for which he plans to forever man the front lines is just plain old stupid.  

​To be clear, Dame is absolutely right in saying that 45 minutes is hardly an eternity when it comes to deciding on the fate of your future, but business doesn't give a fuck about your feelings and, at the end of the day, the NBA is one of most cutthroat. I'd expect a journeyman of a 10-year veteran to have realized that by now. 

To be honest, while I generally don't like to go this route, you're fighting a pretty steep uphill battle if you're trying to play the victim of time's essence in deciding which city you'd like to live lavishly in while playing a sport professionally. Mix in an exaggeration that makes your choice of where you'd prefer to surpass $100 million in career earnings seem as difficult as deciphering which cord to cut in trying to beat the clock to defuse a bomb and you're really setting yourself up to look silly. Never mind doing so at the expense of a team led by one of the NBA's most formidable flushers of all bullshit. 

Free agency is referred to as a frenzy for a reason. With all due respect, that reason is immeasurably more important than where a playoff-run rental like Enes Kanter plays defenseless basketball for the next two seasons.
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In Speaking From Experience, Giancarlo Stanton Offered Advice to the Angels on Dealing With the Difficulties of Grieving the Loss of Teammate Tyler Skaggs

7/2/2019

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RIP Bro, My heart goes out to your family□□ My message to the @angels while having no time for yourself to grieve is to hug each other, laugh, cry, lift the ones taking it extra hard up. You’re going to wonder why all of this is happening , is it real, why are u suiting up to play a game that seems irrelevant. Some Anger will ensue while u have to grieve in a fish bowl.. A lot will go through your mind. So stay together through that. The first days back to schedule are the weirdest feeling, from the energy to the questions to having to walk by his locker. Try to Focus & understand how important your strength is for his family, all of your supporters & anyone looking for the power to overcome something. They’re looking @ you for guidance. So you all really need each other right now. Stay strong fellas I’m thinking about you!

A post shared by Giancarlo Stanton (@giancarlo818) on Jul 1, 2019 at 7:17pm PDT


"RIP Bro, My heart goes out to your family. My message to the @angels while having no time for yourself to grieve is to hug each other, laugh, cry, lift the ones taking it extra hard up. You’re going to wonder why all of this is happening , is it real, why are u suiting up to play a game that seems irrelevant. Some Anger will ensue while u have to grieve in a fish bowl.. A lot will go through your mind. So stay together through that. The first days back to schedule are the weirdest feeling, from the energy to the questions to having to walk by his locker. Try to Focus & understand how important your strength is for his family, all of your supporters & anyone looking for the power to overcome something. They're looking @ you for guidance. So you all really need each other right now. Stay strong fellas I'm thinking about you!"

---------

Well, when you put it like that. 

That's not to imply that anyone would ever assume it's easy to mourn the gut punch that must be the tragic, midseason loss of a beloved teammate. However, it is to say that the way Giancarlo Stanton spoke from his experience in doing so, following the disastrous death of Jose Fernandez in 2016, really makes real the impossibilities of grieving during the daily grind of which the absence of the dearly departed is ever-present. 

Considering the inevitable emotional toll to be taken by the constant reminders that Tyler Skaggs is no longer with them, the rest of the Angels roster having to lace up their cleats at least another 77 times before having any extended period of time to themselves must feel pretty damn daunting. Trying to battle their own innately human brains in trying to push heartbreak to the back them and focus on playing a game that offers as much time to think as baseball at a professional level on a public stage is just not an undertaking I can even wrap my head around, for a variety of reasons.

The true test of a team shouldn't be something that you'd hope and pray no team would ever, in a million years, have to go through. However, I can't imagine there is any one circumstance more trying of a clubhouse's cohesiveness than having life and death unexpectedly intervene in it's day-to-day operation. Here's to keeping the Angels in mind as they find their way in...well...finding a way, for the best way to honor the unforgettable and disturbingly abbreviated existence of Tyler Skaggs is to keep playing the game he was so passionate about at the highest level possible, as impossible as that currently seems.

Rest In Peace, kid.  

Due to the tragic passing of Tyler Skaggs, Alex and I have decided it best to not record On The Corner this week. The List will be pushed to tomorrow as well.

Instead, let's watch 47 seconds of Tyler Skaggs throwing one of the prettiest curveballs in the game. pic.twitter.com/F10bqKq1wi

— Pitcher List (@PitcherList) July 1, 2019
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The Warriors are Unofficially "Retiring" Kevin Durant's Number, In Case You Were Wondering Exactly How Guilty Their Conscience Is

7/1/2019

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Statement from Warriors Co-Chairman & CEO Joe Lacob on Kevin Durant: pic.twitter.com/D2TPPZPuz1

— Warriors PR (@WarriorsPR) July 1, 2019

To be clear, I have absolutely no idea how guilty the Warriors organization should feel about letting Kevin Durant make an appearance in a must-win game that ended up costing him a full season of his prime and the certainty of his future as one of most transcendent talents in basketball. I'm quite sure there was plenty of inquiring minds mending together to make an extremely difficult decision that ultimately spelled disaster. While I definitely  think some were swayed by the situation, even more so after listening to Andre Iguodala's story, I highly doubt all of them were only acting in the best interest of Golden State's dwindling chances at winning a third straight championship. 

That being said, I think I have a pretty good idea of how guilty the Warriors' organization does feel, as the idea of "retiring" a player's jersey after three seasons, no matter how successful, is laughable to say the least. I can understand not immediately giving out the number of your back-to-back Finals MVP to some schlub off the street, but going out of your way to express exactly how off-limits it is in a press release the day after he asked "where Brooklyn at?!" in telling you "thanks, but no thanks"? Especially when you could just not say anything and easily go a decade without anyone voluntarily requesting to wear a number as unsightly as 35? That seems to be about as desperate a play/ploy for good will as...well...blubbering all over yourself in a postgame press conference while deflecting from a devastating injury by giving a sermon on the sainthood of the person who suffered it...

"It's an Achilles injury. ... He'll have an MRI tomorrow."

Bob Myers holds back tears as he explains the magnitude of Kevin Durant's injury. pic.twitter.com/glQ6j5hATe

— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) June 11, 2019

Simply put, Kevin Durant was a mercenary. He may have been a good person, a great teammate, and a quality leader in coming within one "calf strain" and two wins of being the most valuable part of a 3-peat in Golden State, but he was still a mercenary. Mercenaries don't get special treatment. Unless, of course, they are still owed payment for services rendered. KD rendered a hell of a lot in being left without time restriction in putting his career in jeopardy on behalf of a team that was, for intents and purposes, already beaten. Therefore, if the Warriors really want to settle things in the court of public option they should get to work on immortalizing him in bronze outside every gate of their new arena. Everyone already knows what they are doing in shamelessly kissing his ass as he limps out the door anyway. Might as well do it right by offering up more than some half-assed and likely unnecessary hold on the #35 disguised as a grand gesture. 
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Jimmy Butler Either Loves Miami or Loves Masochism, As I Can't Think of Any Other Reason He Would Turn Down the Sixers Max Offer to Sign With the Heat

7/1/2019

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Jimmy Butler deal is complete with Heat -- with Clippers added as a fourth-team in trade that also includes Philadelphia and Portland, league sources tell @ZachLowe_NBA and me.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 1, 2019

Miami is also sending a future first-round pick to the Clippers, league sources tell ESPN. https://t.co/q4cip3sR0X

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 1, 2019

The Sixers get Miami's Josh Richardson in the deal, too. And ... Jimmy Butler gets his four-year, $142M max deal.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 1, 2019

I’m told that Jimmy Butler did receive the 5-year full max offer from Philly and he turned it down to go to Miami. https://t.co/RqmYcHLD8c

— Tom Haberstroh (@tomhaberstroh) July 1, 2019

I'm starting to think that Jimmy Butler's favorite song might be 'Only Happy When it Rains', and that's not so much an acknowledgement of his new city's on again, off again relationship with precipitation as it is an observation that he seems pretty damn content in being perpetually pissed off. 

To be clear, I'm totally fine with a player prioritizing quality of life over quality basketball. It's just that Jimmy Butler hardly strikes me as the type to plop down on the 142 million dollar, state tax-free bag he just secured and enjoy sitting South Beach-side while calmly resting on his laurels as a great veteran player on a middling team whose cap is as strapped as its potential. In fact, his career speaks to him taking a much more, shall we say, incendiary approach to how things go down when they aren't quite looking up basketball-wise.

I guess I can see Philly having too many young, developing mouthes to feed for an overly proud player to picture himself staying there as nothing more than a complimentary option throughout the remainder of his prime, but Miami as the alternative? I'm sure him and Pat Riley will get along swimmingly in chastising everyone who doesn't come within a BPM or two of hustling their way into a heart attack during any given practice. However, that on-court marriage between a hyper-competitive malcontent and an unworthy roster is so obviously asking for trouble that I can't but think Jimmy Butler only agreed to it because he derives pleasure out the process of messy divorces. 
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In What Will Surely Serve as a Stick to the Craw of Flyers' Fans, The Devils Have Signed Wayne Simmonds to a One-Year Deal

7/1/2019

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#NJDevils news:

The club has agreed to terms with right wing Wayne Simmonds on a one-year contract worth $5,000,000. pic.twitter.com/6HrpsM99Xt

— New Jersey Devils (@NJDevils) July 1, 2019

Please welcome all the impatient Devils' fans that spent all of last offseason (and, unbelievably enough, the last couple of hours of this offseason) incessantly whining for Ray Shero to go blind to his future budget for the temporary thrill of overspending to the wonderful world of free agency! It's a highly stressful place where your options are either obnoxiously expensive, entirely over-the-hill, or all of the above. Can't believe the Devils didn't decide to vacation here sooner!!!

​In all seriousness, as far as flawed players who aren't worth 5 million dollars are concerned, I actually like Wayne Simmonds fit in the Devils' lineup. So long as his role is limited one, there is very little risk associated with adding a player who adds a rare combination of talent and toughness to an undersized lineup for one season during which the continuation of his career as an impactful NHLer hangs in the balance. 

If that's not convincing enough for you then go rewind last season's game tape and try to watch the Devils' 2nd powerplay unit operate for more than 45 seconds without being brought to the saltiest of tears. If absolutely nothing else, Wayne Simmonds gives them endless options with the extra man as the type of net-front, pain-in-the-ass presence that actually has puck skills. 

Now, I can't say I love inserting an old and slow defensive liability into a lineup that has young players who better fit the team's collective style banging on its door. For example, if Wayne Simmonds is what gets an NHL-ready Jesper Boqvist sent back to Sweden for another season then I'll lose my shit. I have an extremely hard time believing that's a legitimate possibility at this point in their rebuild, but it's one of the very few concerns I have about adding a player that brings attributes that the Devils don't otherwise have.

All in all, the reward might be limited to a 15-20 goal prick of a powerplay specialist who plays sparingly at even strength in the bottom-six. However, the risk is next to nothing for a team that's got a pretty populated nest to protect and could easily afford to sign a burning pile of money to a ten million dollar deal so long as the fire extinguished after this season.

Plus, can you really put a price that can be measured in AAV on the Flyers signing Kurtis Gabriel within the same 60-minute span as their fans finding out that one of their most beloved shit-stirrers took his tenacity up the Turnpike? 

OFFICIAL: The #Flyers have signed the following UFA’s:

• Andy Andreoff (two-year, one-way contract)
• Kurtis Gabriel (one-year, two-way contract)
• Nate Prosser (two-year, two-way contract) https://t.co/ckAxjms5de

— Philadelphia Flyers (@NHLFlyers) July 1, 2019
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Harrison Barnes Celebrated Signing His 85 Million Dollar Extension With a Pic of Him Bricking a Jumper, Which is a Hilarious Commentary on NBA Free Agency

7/1/2019

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Some Kings news...
Source tells @TheAthletic that Sacramento will finalize a four-year, $85 million deal with Harrison Barnes today. The deal declines annually, accounting for just 14% of the cap in the fourth year.

— Sam Amick (@sam_amick) June 30, 2019
View this post on Instagram

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭NASB‬‬

A post shared by Harrison Barnes (@hbarnes) on Jun 30, 2019 at 5:28pm PDT

Harrison Barnes posted this on his Instagram page moments ago, after agreeing to his deal to remain in Sacramento. pic.twitter.com/jj4KGgv9k8

— Sean Cunningham (@SeanCunningham) July 1, 2019

Contrary to what some bungee-less conclusion jumpers on the internet may think, Harrison Barnes didn't accidentally post a picture of him missing a jump shot nor was he intentionally making light of how profitable his career has been relative to his production. 

​What he did do, however, was unintentionally make light of how profitable his career has been relative to his production. All you really have to do is read to see this was clearly supposed to be a spiritually-driven narration on persevering past your failures and remaining unconditionally confident in yourself. That's not exactly the type of social media celebration I would have chosen after cashing in on another 85 million dollars, but it's also not one that's entirely senseless. 

That said, as I find the Bible to be largely senseless, I can't help but laugh at the objectively funny visual aide that Harrison Barnes chose to go along with his excerpt, as it makes for quite the indictment of the mystifying money monsoon that it is NBA free agency. Teams that stand next-no-chance at contention just holding their form on long shots that will serve as a swing-and-miss the second the ink dries. I think Harrison Barnes is worth what he got relative to the market, but only because the market when it comes to shameless summer spending on supplementary talent is absolutely insane. So much so that the following might be the only better portrayal of it...
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The City is Under New (and Competent) Management

7/1/2019

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Brooklyn is making a clean sweep tonight: Brooklyn will sign Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving and DeAndre Jordan, league sources tell ESPN.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) June 30, 2019

Sources: Durant will sign a 4-year, $164M deal with the Nets; Irving will sign 4-years, $141M.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) June 30, 2019

Free agents Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving are taking less than the max to allow DeAndre Jordan to get the $10M annual salary with Brooklyn, league sources tell ESPN.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 1, 2019

Finally. That admittedly feels like a weird word to use in reference to the comeuppance of a franchise that relocated from New Jersey seven years ago and almost instantly made a devastatingly dumb trade that paralyzed the team in basketball purgatory while suffering through it's unforgiving aftermath. However, the truth of the matter is that the Knicks have basically been begging to be overshadowed in their own city for ages. So much so that the Nets' rebuild, that was pretty quick relative to the complete lack of lottery picks that a team so demonstrably bad should have been privy to, put them in a far, far better position to make entice top-end talent than the most stupefyingly self-important organization in sports. It took a bit longer than he would have hoped, but Jay-Z's words just went from punchline to prophecy, as "little brother" made big brother's dream his reality - albeit one that is about 14 months from true fruition - in sending Knicks' fans scrambling for the shattered remains of their superiority complex from mere miles away...

The city is under new management.

— Mr. Carter (@S_C_) November 27, 2012

The Knicks have lost 17 straight.

This time next year could look A LOT different. pic.twitter.com/r8H0eKLkGS

— ESPN (@espn) February 12, 2019

Brooklyn’s finest. pic.twitter.com/PyLjwMlPcG

— NBA on TNT (@NBAonTNT) June 30, 2019

The key word in that prophecy, of course, being management. With that of the museum of mediocrity that is "The Mecca" being entirely incompetent in a way that's long shown itself  throughout every level of the Knicks' organization, it was somehow more likely than not that James Dolan would let the Knicks get lapped in relevance in their own city. Tough to deny that that's exactly what he's done, as it was he who led the season-long suckfest at the feet of Kevin Durant before only choosing to change his stance on paying top-dollar for damaged goods when the goods in question were an all-time great...

The Knicks and owner Jim Dolan were not prepared to offer Kevin Durant a full max contract due to concerns over his recovery from the Achilles injury, league sources tell me and @wojespn. Knicks officials are in Los Angeles tonight, meeting with free agents such as Julius Randle.

— Ramona Shelburne (@ramonashelburne) June 30, 2019

Make no mistake, this is a massive win for both the Brooklyn Nets and the team-building process. That said, it's also a demotion-to-the-G-League worthy 'L' for a franchise that crapped away an unfathomable competitive advantage in a media market that should realistically be entirely their own. Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, and - to a much lesser extent - DeAndre Jordan could easily be bringing the magic back to MSG, be it not for MSG making a mockery of itself. The long-held belief of both the Knicks and their fans that if you can make it there then you can make it anywhere isn't entirely untrue, but I hardly think Frank Sinatra was referring to extinguishing an organizational dumpster fire when harmonizing (not to be confused with harmonica'ing) about the mystique of Manhattan. 

Obviously, there is plenty of risk that comes with putting your young team and selfless culture in the hands of an objectively in​sufferable asshole, who just lit the fuse that led to the implosion of a somewhat similar roster, for a year while his 32-year-old running mate recovers from an injury that has all-but-ended plenty of promising careers before. It's just a risk that any team would be stupid not to take, as Kyrie Irving eventually falling back into the Robin role (in which he ended a 50+ year championship drought for the city of Cleveland) to KD's Batman (at even 75% of his former freakishly talented self) is a recipe for title contention.

Be it Spencer Dinwiddie, Caris LaVert, Taurean Prince, Joe Harris, Jarrett Allen, or even Rondae-Hollis Jefferson, the Nets put together a playoff-level team that was simply a superstar or two away from becoming a championship-level team. Meanwhile, the Knicks pissed away money on contracts that were more inflated than clown shoes in continuing to run an absolute circus of an operation on a wing and a prayer (See: trading a unicorn for cap space). Take out the alleged allure of a building that hasn't hosted a truly meaningful basketball in decades and this decision seems all-too-easy. From the Sean Marks on down, Brooklyn was a better basketball situation and for that reason they have a basketball team whose intrigue and potential is so exponential in comparison to the team whose city they just took over that it managed to rewrite the harrowing history of the Celtics' heist.  

Everybody who said I shouldn’t sign the extension gtfo my mentions □ pic.twitter.com/E6sqlujjXs

— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) June 30, 2019

Oh and @nyknicks fans I didn’t forget about y’all either □□□ pic.twitter.com/h6f0Xy1hr3

— Spencer Dinwiddie (@SDinwiddie_25) June 30, 2019

Looking at @knicks fans like pic.twitter.com/IL9usN2eOu

— Richard Jefferson (@Rjeff24) June 30, 2019
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