A Bunch Of Incoming Duke Freshman Were Offended By Summer Reading That Featured Pornographic Images8/25/2015 Source- For some members of the Class of 2019, the choice of “Fun Home” as a summer reading book was anything but fun. Several incoming freshmen decided not to read “Fun Home” because its sexual images and themes conflicted with their personal and religious beliefs. Freshman Brian Grasso posted in the Class of 2019 Facebook page July 26 that he would not read the book “because of the graphic visual depictions of sexuality,” igniting conversation among students. The graphic novel, written by Alison Bechdel, chronicles her relationship with her father and her issues with sexual identity. “I feel as if I would have to compromise my personal Christian moral beliefs to read it,” Grasso wrote in the post. “The nature of ‘Fun Home’ means that content that I might have consented to read in print now violates my conscience due to its pornographic nature,” he wrote in an email. “There is so much pressure on Duke students, and they want so badly to fit in,” he said. “But at the end of the day, we don’t have to read the book.” “I thought to myself, ‘What kind of school am I going to?’” said freshman Elizabeth Snyder-Mounts. Grasso noted that he felt the book choice was insensitive to people with more conservative beliefs. “Duke did not seem to have people like me in mind,” he said. “It was like Duke didn’t know we existed, which surprises me.” Zhang said that she supports the book choice, which she believes shows that Duke is a place that does not shy away from issues of sexuality. However, she added that the choice of whether or not to read the book ultimately belongs to each individual student. Reasons to go to Duke University: - Coach K - JJ Redick (hindsight is 20/20) - Hatred of minorities that aren't good at putting a ball in a basket - Love of team building activities (i.e. gang rape) Reasons not to go to Duke University - Greg Paulus - Jon Scheyer - Apparently summer reading - Bible thumping Catholics - Prude freshman - Literally all the other reasons Where do these kids think they are going exactly? Oh Elizabeth, you didn't know what kind of school you were going to? Let me help you out here. It's called college. It's basically a 4 year all you can drink and fuck buffet with some classes mixed in. It's really only an institution of higher learning once you find a decent weed guy. These kids know that one of the major reasons that college exists is to open up the minds of young adults, right? I highly doubt that 'Fun Home' is just a quirky name for the Kama Sutra. I would go out on a limb and say it's not just a picture book of full length centerfolds. If I had to guess, I'm sure there's actually a lot of substance to the plot. I don't think the professional educators at Duke are passing out erotic fan fiction to incoming freshman. And you know what? Even if they are, I applaud them for it. Someone has got to raise the bar of what is appropriate and what's not before these holier than thou, prudish bastards get through orientation. You want to be offended by a book that features nude illustrations then go right ahead, but no matter what the literary content is, college is going to be an eye opening sexual experience. Even if you do keep them closed while your roommate is 4 feet away plugging away at a sloppy 5 after 6 too many tequila shots. I appreciate that Duke University recognized that they annually have a contingent of sexually repressed incoming freshman, and are using literature to help them adapt to their surroundings. Yes Brian, Duke knew people like you existed, that's they they are making you guys read softcore porn during the summer. So you don't nail yourself to a cross the first time you see a pair of tits that you didn't used to feed from. Books and boning. Mix in some booze and you have the perfect microcosm of what college actually is all about. The sooner these kids realize it, the better. P.S. So glad I get to post this again...
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PBT- The NBA announced today that it has fined the Los Angeles Clippers $250,000 for violating NBA rules prohibiting teams from offering players unauthorized business or investment opportunities.
The violation involved a presentation made by the Clippers to free agent DeAndre Jordan on July 2 that improperly included a potential third-party endorsement opportunity for the player. While the NBA’s investigation ultimately concluded that the presentation of this opportunity had no impact on Jordan’s decision to re-sign with the Clippers, the team’s conduct nevertheless violated the league’s anti-circumvention rules. The NBA’s anti-circumvention rules prohibit teams from, among other things, providing or arranging for others to provide any form of compensation to a player unless such compensation is included in a player contract or otherwise expressly permitted under the CBA. So, this is basically just the NBA's way of admitting that the Clippers did nothing wrong, right? I mean, if the purpose of a fine is to discourage a team, or other teams, from similar behavior in the future than a quarter million dollar fine isn't exactly cutting it. We are talking about a team that shelled out $88 million dollars, as well as solid chunk of time during their offseason, to lure DeAndre back to Los Angeles. If they really acted against the letter of the law in doing so I would suggest a monetary penalty that reaches AT LEAST seven figures. If I were Steve Ballmer I would write that check but instead of signing it I would put on lipstick and kiss that baby right where it calls for a John Hancock. Just as a sign of gratitude to show that the Clippers appreciate the league letting them of the hook for their slightly questionable antics during the free agency period. The funny thing is that the Clippers are technically being fined for offering up third party endorsement opportunities to a potential member of their roster. Which is fine, except for the fact that it's exactly the same thing that the Lakers and Knicks did in their failed attempts to woo free agents. Again, not complaining, but it really just shows that the league had nothing concrete to penalize them for. They are basically just paying a small fee, relatively speaking, for taking advantage of an extremely stupid moratorium period that the NBA still has in place for some reason. The league knows that, the Clippers know that, and all the teams around the league desperately offering up advertisement money to free agents know that. Whatever, $250K is pocket change. Ballmer should send $300K in cash and tell them to keep the change. Just don't take it out of the money that's been stashed aside for their first night out on the town after DeAndre Jordan helps them win the Larry O'Brien trophy.
Upon reading this news only one question came to mind. What the fuck took so long? No, a 35 year old Ron Artest, or 'Metta World Peace', or 'Panda Express', or 'Kung-Fu Panda', or whatever the fuck he goes by these days, isn't going to hop off a plane from China and contribute much. That's not the point. He's a storyline for a team that desperately needs one. Right not the only narrative to discuss is which grave they should dig first, the one for Kobe's career or the one for Swaggy P's corpse when he undoubtedly pisses off Kobe during the last season of his career?
Let's be clear, publicity isn't as important as winning, but winning is already out the window as a concern for this year's Lakers squad. At this point, they need to maintain a presence in a city where they have become second class citizens. Not only are the Clippers far better at basketball, but at this moment in time they have are far more interesting off the court as well. If there is anything that is nearly as important as success it is relevance, especially for a team that plays in Los Angeles. Is Metta World Peace going to make the Lakers better? FUCK NO. However, he's probably not going to make them worse. More importantly, he will definitely have a handful of nights where he does something stupid or funny enough to distract people from how bad the Lakers are at the sport they are paid handsomely to play. He would basically just fill the role of the shiny toy that you waive in front of a toddler when you want to make them stop crying. Given the lack of talent on the Lakers roster that role is more of a necessity than a luxury. Especially since there should be no shortage of tears when the Lakers take the floor in the Staples Center this year. If you're a Lakers fan that is going to be forced to struggle through 82 games of misery, how could you not want this guy, and hopefully those shoes, there to lighten the mood? How About The Game Just Fingering His 18 Year Old Girlfriend In The Park Like It Wasn't Nothin'8/25/2015 Yeah, I know. I think it's extremely questionable behavior for a 35 year old man to be dating a 18 year old girl too. Hell, I wouldn't even sleep with an 18 year old now (outside of Kylie Jenner), never mind fucking DATING one in six years. However, The Game is basically the celebrity spokesperson for the Bloods so it kind of makes sense that we don't exactly have the same moral code. Also, I don't really want to be the one that questions the intentions of a man with 15 teardrops tatted on face.
Regardless, the only take away here is that this girl is a ratchet hoe. You can say that The Game is a vile, disgusting pervert and you would be absolutely right. The fact of the matter is that 95% of the men on Earth are vile, disgusting perverts. It's just that most of the time we are with women that we respect too much to show our true colors. I would finger fuck girls in a public park daily if I could. I have wanted to put my fingers to the nose of every single girl my fingers have ever entered. You know why I don't? Because I am a upstanding gentleman. Fine, that's a lie. The reason I don't is because I know that a majority of women I have slept with have enough pride to kick me directly in the dick if I did so. You can't chastise The Game for his lewd and indecent public sex acts without criticizing the girl that was a willing participant. You don't try to finger bang a girl in the park and make her smell her own pheromones without knowing that you have a girl that wants to be finger banged in the park and smell her own pheromones. Just because it's not uncommon for men to treat women like objects from time to time, doesn't mean we don't treat them as valuable objects. The Game may be ethically challenged, but don't tell me he's not giving this girl exactly what she desires. The plot of 'What Women Want' would have been way different if this chick was producing. Safe to say that it wouldn't have starred Helen Hunt, but with the skeletons in Mel Gibson's closet he probably would have remained a viable option. P.S. If you can look at that last picture without laughing I don't want to know you as a person. h/t MediaTakeout Metro- Two people have committed suicide after their details were published online by hackers in the Ashley Madison data breach.
At least one Ashley Madison client in Canada is reported to have taken their life, and a senior American policeman in San Antonio, Texas. Both are thought to have had details leaked in the hack, although it is not confirmed whether the suicides are directly linked to the leak. Captain Michael Gorhum, who had served in the San Antonio Police Department, died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound last Thursday. His official email address had been linked to an Ashley Madison account – part of a trove of 37 million contact details leaked online last week. Toronto police held a press conference today to announce that they were aware of two deaths. ‘As of this morning we have two unconfirmed reports of suicides associated with the leak of Ashley Madison’s customers’ profiles,’ said acting staff superintendent Bryce Evans. ‘Today I can confirm that Avid Life Media is offering a £240,000 reward to anyone providing information that leads to the identification, arrest and prosecution of the person or persons responsible for the leak of the Ashley Madison database,’ Mr Evans said. Now, I partake in my fair share of behavior that may stretch the limits of morality a little bit. However, I can proudly say that I am not a cheater. Now, the fact that I hardly ever enter into a committed relationship makes that much easier. Loop hole baby! Regardless, if you are out there cheating on your girlfriend, or boyfriend, or spouse then you are a scumbag. No, monogamy is not natural. No, cheating is not uncommon. That doesn't change the fact that those that do it are cowards. There's a certain risk/reward that comes with infidelity. The reward is that you get some strange, or not so strange depending how often you do it, ass on the side. The risk is that your significant other may find out and it could potentially ruin your relationship or marriage. That risk should always exist if you are stepping out on your partner. The only thing more cowardly then cheating on someone? Committing suicide. Why you ask? Because there is no personal risk involved with committing suicide. You face no repercussions when you willingly chose to seize living. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances that could make suicide understandable, but I feel comfortable saying that unless your wife is Ronda Rousey, getting caught cheating does not count as one of those circumstances. Two negatives don't add up to a positive. Doubling down on your cowardice by cheating and then killing yourself is essentially the same as having your cake, eating it too, and then kicking the chair over when someone else asks for a slice. Come on guys. I find it very hard to feel bad for a couple of careless dudes that couldn't bother to put more effort into cheating than signing up for a fucking website for cheaters. I find it IMPOSSIBLE to feel bad when those same guys blow their brains out to avoid the consequences of that apathy. These dudes are lazy, they are immoral, and they are cowards. I'm actually feeling pretty generous today so I'll even go as far as saying that you can be two of those three, but all three at the same time is unacceptable. Think about this for a second. These dudes opted out on living because they didn't have the balls to call it quits on their marriage. The lion from the 'Wizard Of OZ' just called, I told him he was too late in letting you guys know that you were pussies. Dwight Howard is out somewhere knocking up his 9th different women this calendar year and even if he laughing your lack of personal responsibility. I don't know if these guys had children, but if they did then those kids are probably better off being raised by a single mother instead of a greedy, self serving douchebag of a father. Safe to say a husband of that caliber wasn't much of a Dad either. Pretty Sure Hayden Rettig Just Won The Rutgers Starting Quarterback Job By Default, And I LOVE It8/25/2015 CFT- You have to love half-game suspensions against FCS opponents. That is what Rutgers has handed to quarterback Chris Laviano and star wide receiver Leonte Carroo. Laviano and Carroo will each serve a half-game suspension when Rutgers takes the field next week in the season opener against Norfolk State. Both will be eligible to return in the second half, and Rutgers hopes to avoid needing either to have an impact in the second half when they do. A curfew violation reportedly is what led to the mild suspensions.
In addition to the suspensions of Laviano and Carroo, linebacker Kevin Marquez, punter Tim Gleeson and cornerback Ruhann Peele will also serve half-game suspensions. With Laviano now out of the quarterback mix at Rutgers, for a half at least, Joe Schad of EPSN.com reports Hayden Rettig will assume command of the offense. The two had been competing for the right to replace Gary Nova. Rettig is a transfer from LSU who sat out last season due to NCAA transfer rules. Listen, if you want to be pessimistic and read this as "Rutgers suspends it's senior captain, potential starting quarterback, and three other players for breaking curfew" then that is your prerogative. However, I happen to fancy myself a glass-half-full kind of man. After spending the morning fighting off the Star Ledger's repeated attacks at the character of one Kyle Flood, I just don't have it in me to discuss more negativity surrounding the Rutgers football program. Especially since the itch I have gotten for football season is like two scratches away from breaking out into a full blown eczema. So you know what? This isn't about Chris Laviano and Leonte Carroo acting like normal college kids, most likely having one too many drinks, and losing track of time. This is about Hayden Rettig starting the season in charge of the Rutgers offense. I think this is what a majority of Rutgers fans wanted to see. Well, not like this obviously. However, Rutgers fans want to see the best possible quarterback be the signal caller for this team. Through training camp Laviano and Rettig have remained fairly equal in terms of performance, hence why it has taken so long for Kyle Flood to announce a starter, but the fact still remains that Rettig has more god given ability than Laviano. While Rettig may not have the experience, it makes way more sense to take a chance on his potential when the rest of the offense is littered with playmakers. Rutgers could easily be an average team with either quarterback at the helm, but starting Rettig gives this team the possibility of becoming something more. Sure, right now he is the starter by default, and that very well could change after Laviano serves his suspension. Although, given my optimistic view of a suspension, I am going to roll with this whole positivity thing and assume that once Rettig takes the reigns of this offense that'll hell ride that sum' bitch into the sunset. P.S. I don't know if the timing of this news is ironic or intentional considering the controversy around Kyle Flood, but I'll tell you this. A guy that suspends important members of his team for coming home after hours isn't the kind of guy that is going to risk an entire season, and possibly his job security, by sending an email to a professor with foul play in mind. Even if it just a one half suspension against an FCS opponent. Joke Of The Day: Rutgers Coach Kyle Flood Being Investigated For Contacting A Professor About Grades8/25/2015 CFT- The 2015 season may not start off with a bit of controversy off the field for Rutgers head coach Kyle Flood. NJ.com reports today Flood is being investigated for impermissible contact with a university faculty member over the status of one of his players. The report suggests Flood could ultimately face a suspension, or perhaps even be fired, although that is purely speculation at this point in time. Either way, it sure makes it sound serious.
Per NJ.com‘s Keith Sargeant, the investigation at Rutgers is centered on an email from Flood’s personal email account to a faculty member of Rutgers’ arts school. The player in question is reportedly cornerback Nadir Barnwell, a junior. Barnwell reportedly faces academic ineligibility for the upcoming season. Depending on the outcome of the investigation, the punishment Flood could face ranges from a public reprimand to a termination of his contract with the university. If the worst-case scenario plays out, Flood could potentially be out of a job before the start of the season, as the investigation is expected to be wrapped up in short order. Rutgers prohibits coaches from having direct contact with instructors of student-athletes, which is why Rutgers is investigating this manner. At this point there is no word on whether the NCAA or Big Ten have taken a look to see what is happening, although it would be wise to assume each will monitor the situation closely and weigh in if needed. I swear, only at Rutgers could something this trivial become a full blown investigation. A Head Coach of a football team emails a professor about the academic status of one of his players, and all the sudden everyone is ready to call for his firing and public stoning. Are we fucking kidding here? We are just going to act like this is something that doesn't happen, probably to a much worse extent, at every other major athletic University in the country? Is it against the rules for a coach to contact a professor? Apparently it is. So yeah, he's technically in violation of a rule. However, it's a rule that is broken so often that it's hardly ever enforced. This would be like if you ran across the street 20 feet to the left of a crosswalk. Sure, it's technically jaywalking, but if a cop gave you a ticket for it you would have the right to laugh directly in his face. There are schools out there that ran full blown rings of fake classes for athletes (looking at you UNC). All the sudden we are going to act like college athletes have earned every passing grade they ever received? Isn't it public information that student athletes sometimes receive preferential treatment in the classroom as well? I thought that was a long standing joke? If anything, Rutgers has been known for it's academic legitimacy throughout the years. So no, I refuse to sit here and think it's big fucking deal that a Head Coach, especially one as respected as Kyle Flood, asked if there were any extra credit opportunities for one of his players. Anything short of going full Tony Soprano and threatening the life of professor in question, and this whole fucking thing is a disgrace to everyone that's making it out to be more than it is. The only person that deserves criticism in this situation is Nadir Barnwell for being so goddamn stupid that he can't make the grade in an Art School summer class. I recognize that Kyle Flood sent that email with his the well being of his football team in mind, but if you think he's the type to be strong arming teachers than clearly you haven't been paying attention the last 4 years. I'll get into this in the next blog, but this is a guy that just sat his star WR and one of the potential starting quarterbacks for a half for breaking curfew. Yeah, that's right. He's sitting college kids, who are imperative to the success of his team, for coming home late. He is clearly a guy that runs a tight ship, and is just as concerned as turning these players into respectable men as he is winning football games. Any hatchet job on his integrity only takes away from the integrity of it's author. A look into his statement regarding the matter really shows everything you need to know... "Let me start by saying I'm disappointed at the tone of the article that (associate athletic director for media relations) Hasim (Phillips) showed me this morning," Flood said. "I've been the head coach now, this is going into my fourth season, and I've had a lot of interaction with the teachers on our campus. I think that that article not only insults my integrity, but insults the integrity of our faculty. I've come to realize that our faculty here at Rutgers is beyond reproach and I have a tremendous amount of respect for them." "Our faculty are part of our program," Flood said. "Just as recently as the other day, we had two faculty members at our practice. Now, any correspondence that I had with a professor in regard to a student-athlete would really be of this nature: One, to be in support of whatever decision that faculty member made, and two, to inquire as to whether or not there would be an opportunity to earn a better grade. Now, this practice is not unusual at Rutgers. Many students all over campus receive what are called 'T grades' (temporary grades) doing work outside of when the class ends that semester to earn a better grade."
Fox News- When Arthur Blank announced that the new sponsor for the team's new stadium in 2017 would be Mercedes-Benz, it came with a lot of excitement and a little bit of confusion.
While the excitement surrounding the new stadium is obvious, many fans wondered what would happen since there's another stadium sponsored by Mercedes-Benz. That stadium, is the rival New Orleans Saints, who play in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Fortunately, Vaughn McClure of ESPN took to Twitter to give a bit of an explanation on the situation. So while we'll be looking at an overlap, it just means that there's even more fuel to this already great rivalry. The Saints will be playing in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome, while the Falcons are in the Mercedes-Benz Stadium.
Well, I hope that helps the Atlanta Falcons sleep better at night. How adorable, the Mercedes Benz CEO says they are going to treat and love the Mercedes Benz SuperDome and Mercedes Benz Stadium like their children. Perfect analogy as a matter of fact. Considering the Falcons have been around longer I would assume that makes them the older brother, correct? The loser older brother that's still living in his parents basement and constantly talking about how their younger brother gets treated better. I don't know if you guys know how this is supposed to work, but the younger brother is supposed to mimic the actions of the older brother, and not vice versa. The Atlanta Falcons are the older brother thats following the younger brother around begging for acceptance. Just frantically trying to keep up with the footsteps set in place by the younger sibling. Have some fucking respect for yourselves for Christ's sake.
Saints fans used to appreciate the Falcons repeated attempts to duplicate their success. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It meant the Saints, as a franchise, were creating something that was worthy of jealousy. First the Falcons drafted a broke ass version of Drew Brees in Matt Ryan. Then they starting pumping crowd noise into their excitement barren dump of stadium hoping maybe, just maybe, they could create the atmosphere that comes so naturally to their rivals. But this? This is over the top. This reeks so much of desperation that I can smell it from the 50 yard line of the SuperDome. There is a difference between trying to be like someone and trying to be mistaken for someone. To be honest, I'm not even mad. I want you to stay with me here because this is going to be one of those "I know you know I know" situations. Ready? Not only do I pity Falcons fans, it's gotten to the point where I pity the fact that they know Saints fans pity them. Does that make sense? Even Falcons fans know how pathetic it is to name your stadium the same damn thing as your division rivals. I feel bad that the team they root for every Sunday has forced them to put their head in their hands in shame...before meaningful football has even started. Just a reminder, this is what a real stadium looks like...
...but hopefully that glorified greenhouse they are building in Atlanta will be able to properly house enough flowers for their annual season ending funeral. I already see more Falcons fans in that blueprint than I know actually exist in reality.
You know, I read the headline for this story and my original thought was "wow, talk about delusional. I can't believe that Eazy-E's son is a crazy conspiracy theorist". Low and behold, no more than two minutes later I was thinking "wow, that actually makes a lot of sense, am I a crazy conspiracy theorist?". Now, don't get me wrong. I don't think Ice Cube named his fucking studio album after the time someone from another record label injected his former group mate with what was, at the time, the world's deadliest disease. The only thing that is more illogical than that is thinking that Suge Knight was smart, or connected, enough to get his hands on a vile of MOTHERFUCKIN' HIV. If you are asking me if I think Eazy-E got AIDS from fucking 5 different women a night for a decade without a rubber, or if I think he got it from a glorified bouncer injecting into his bloodstream then I think you know the answer. However, the pieces do fit together oddly well. Shit, it makes more sense than the 9/11 conspiracy theories. I'll say this, if they did give Eazy-E some AIDS blood then there's no way he would have admitted it on his death bed. Dude had a reputation to uphold. Fucking your way to a early grave is exponentially more gangsta than having someone stick an infected needle in your ass after they bludgeoned you.
Here is what more than likely happened. Suge Knight's maniacal ass heard that Eazy-E died from AIDS and, as sick as it sounds, a little lightbulb appeared above his head. I can just see that fat fuck smoking a cuban cigar, with one finger raised proudly in the air proclaiming "yo, giving motherfuckas AIDS is the new shit!". There's just no goddamn way that goon was creative enough to be responsible for the first, and last, death via biological warfare in hip hop history. He's a bully, not a terrorist. Anyway, the name of Ice Cube's album, 'Lethal Injection', is just a crazy coincidence in retrospect. Like Dre said, "blame it on Ice Cube...". We can just forget that the end of that line is "...because he says it gets funky when you have a subject and a predicate". With that said, the fact that I just wrote an entire blog discussing the possibility of a co-owner of a record company intentionally killing a rival rapper with a sexually transmitted virus makes me miss old school hip hop. Today, we got rappers getting metaphorically "killed" through internet memes while back in the glory days you had to exhaust all options in finding the source of your degenerative, terminal disease. Drake and Meek Mill will probably shake hands and pose for pictures at the next award show, while Jerry Heller came out just last week and said he should have let Eazy-E kill Suge Knight. It was just a different era. An era that is probably better for everyone's safety, but undoubtedly worse for their music. P.S. Somewhere in the middle of writing this I got a mental image of Suge Knight walking around a third world country with a t-bone steak in his mouth taking blood from the most sickly looking children he can find. It made me laugh, and now hell is but a certainty. h/t BSO
LBS- Steve Sarkisian apologized Sunday for his behavior at a USC football event on Saturday night where he was drunk and reportedly had to be pulled off stage after embarrassing himself.
The incident occurred at a Salute to Troy event, which is the annual school-sponsored event marking the beginning of the Trojans’ football season. It’s attended by big donors and it’s an event where the coaching staff is introduced. But Sark didn’t exactly comport himself like a professional at the event. Pacific Takes gives a rundown of Sark’s behavior, which culminated with him being pulled off staged by AD Pat Haden and John McKay Jr. – Sarkisian was definitely drunk at the event and slurring his words during the speech. That’s been confirmed by multiple sources at the party. – Sarkisian dropped an F-Bomb while introducing his team to the donors. – Sarkisian said that Oregon, Arizona State and Notre Dame all suck. Sark is 0-9 against Oregon and Arizona State and has always lost to the Ducks by three scores or more. Did I just become a USC fan? Okay, no, I still don't like the Trojans, but I am definitely a Steve Sarkisian fan. How am I NOT watching a viral video of this performance? The NFL and TMZ spent months upon months uncovering (or trying to cover up) footage of Ray Rice beating his wife, then a feel good story like a college coach getting hammered and saying everyone sucks is out there and Sherlock Holmes goes into hibernation? Such bullshit. Society is too damn obsessed with the negative that we miss all the positives. Like a guy that is known for being a stern, hard ass finally letting loose and showing his true colors. That's how you relate to your players. Sarkisian deserves a goddamn raise for getting yanked off stage like a white country singer at the Apollo. Now his players finally know he's human. You think I am going to sit here and criticize a guy for prioritizing getting blind drunk over his MC responsibilities? Hell no. He's basically just the best man that goes 0 to 100 at the cocktail hour. It's hard to hold off from drinking when the situation so clearly calls for drinking. Yeah, maybe the guest of honor shouldn't be mixing in the hard stuff before he gets on stage, but hindsight is 20/20. Plus, considering how inebriated he was, his list of transgressions isn't all that bad. Slurring some words? A college coach accidentally saying 'fuck'? Talking about how all your rivals suck? Yo Sark, my birthday is on February 17th, you pick the place, just came sure it has a stage. That's a man that I not only want to play for, but would love to drink with. I have a soft spot for anyone who gets drunk and their first thought is how much Notre Dame fucking sucks. This is basically the last party that Sarkisian gets to attend where he can test the limits of his liver. He's probably been looking forward to this the entire offseason. If you haven't gotten so excited for an event that by the time it finally got there you drank yourself into a stupor before all the guests even arrived then you ain't no friend of mine. Once college football starts the only drinking he will be doing will happen alone on his couch after a loss, and feature an expensive bottle of scotch, glass optional. Can't we let the man get his spirits up (literally and figuratively) before he embarks on a tough season of trying to teach a bunch of teenagers how to ignore hot, dumb blondes and focus on football? P.S. Worst case of "what the fuck happened last night?" EVER. I'm turnt. #TeamSark
— Steve Sarkisian (@CoachSark) July 18, 2014
Ain't broke don't fix it, right? Hell, I don't know if a bunch of dudes dancing around in ice baths helped bring them together enough to go 8-5 in their first season in the Big Ten, but it certainly didn't hurt their performance last year. You can say what you want about Coach Flood's gameday coaching decisions, but stuff like this just shows that he understands his players. That's nearly as important as putting them in the right position to succeed on the football field. Now, that doesn't mean he looks any less awkward making his way through a bunch of smoke machines while avoiding inflatable parrots, sharks, and glow sticks. It certainly doesn't mean he feels more comfortable maneuvering his body, or some may call it dancing, to brain rattling EDM music. However, that doesn't change the fact that he is clearly in touch with what his players need to let loose. With the season right around the corner, you can't hate the attempt to break up the monotony of training camp. Certainly seems to be turning into a tradition that the players look forward to. Anyway, is it September 5th yet?
P.S. I chuckled when I saw that they had a bouncer, and laughed out loud when he actually turned someone away. Back of the line rook, there's levels to this shit! An NFL Head Coach Basically Implied That Jay Gruden Left RG3 In Against The Lions To Get Him Hurt8/24/2015
Larry Brown Sports- Mike Freeman of Bleacher Report says he spoke with an NFL head coach who expressed shock over the way Gruden has been treating Griffin.
“I have never, ever, on any level, seen a head coach treat his quarterback with such a lack of respect,” the anonymous coach said. The coach went on to explain how Washington’s offensive line was “in shambles” with starting left tackle Trent Williams sidelined and others playing poorly. Despite that, Gruden apparently felt that RG3 needed the reps. “That Lions front, even without [Ndamukong] Suh, is pretty ferocious,” he said. “As a coach, you see your guys getting beat, and you see your quarterback especially take that first shot, every coach I know would have taken their quarterback out of the game. “What is baffling is that I can’t think of a single head coach in the NFL who would take an injury-prone quarterback, put him behind a very shaky offensive line, in a preseason game, watch him take those kinds of hits and leave him in the game. It looks personal to me.” Wait, is this a game? Are we just supposed to shout out things that are known facts? The sky is blue! The grass is green! Females occasionally fake orgasms! The Redskins are never going to be good at football! Am I doing it right? Seriously though, I thought about blogging this very same thought the day after RG3 got absolutely trampled by the Detroit Lions front seven, but I thought it was too obvious to spend more than 5 minutes writing about. It would have to be, right? For a head coach in the NFL to call into question the intentions of another head coach in regards to the health of his quarterback then that head coach would have to be absolutely, 100% positive that's what took place. I don't know about 100%, but I certainly don't have any doubts. I have seen the most durable of quarterbacks trip over their own shoelaces and get pulled from a preseason game for fear of injury. Meanwhile, the Lions are performing WWE finishing moves on a quarterback that's ankles are made of paper mache. I don't know what's going on behind the scenes of the Washington Redskins organization, but it's pretty clear to me that RG3 meeting a premature demise might go a long way in fixing it. If leaving Robert Griffin the 3rd in the game was a blatant attempt to get him injured, and thus solve a front office disagreement than it wasn't a very subtle one. Jesus, has it gotten to the point where I have to silently root for RG3 because literally everyone, including his own head coach and team, hate him? I refuse to pile on a man who ankles are about to shatter simply from all blame being placed on his shoulders. The disconnect in Washington is so absurd that they are about to get a a 25 year old kid murdered instead of just trading him for what he's worth, which at this point is probably a bag of kickoff tees. Regardless, tough to not feel at least a little sympathy for him. Mike Bossy's Daughter Gave Away His '50 Goals In 50 Games' Puck to Her Swimming Instructor8/24/2015 Puck Daddy- In the 1980-81 season, Mike Bossy of the New York Islanders accomplished something that many felt would not be accomplished again in NHL history: Scoring 50 goals in 50 games, a feat reached just once before by Maurice Richard in 1944-45 with the Montreal Canadiens. One would assume the puck that set the record would be in the Hockey Hall of Fame, or resting in a trophy case in Bossy’s home. And it would have been, had it not ended up in the possession of a youth swimming coach. As the story goes, Jake Jacobson coached Bossy’s daughter in 1988, and as a token of appreciation she gave him a memento from her father’s playing days: The puck from his ’50 in 50’ goal, scored with just 1:29 left in a game against the Quebec Nordiques on Jan. 24, 1981. (Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux and Brett Hull subsequently matched the achievement.) Jacobson, an Islanders fan, attempted to meet Bossy to return the puck to him but was rebuffed by the Hall of Famer several times. So he decided to profit from the puck instead, placing it on eBay, where it sold in May for $6,850. The auction winner? Gavin Maloof, former co-owner of the Sacramento Kings and minority owner of The Palms in Las Vegas, which had hosted the NHL Awards in the past. "I said, 'We need to get this puck. It means a lot to Mr. Bossy,'" Maloof told TMZ Sports."Fifty goals in 50 games. Only a handful of people have ever done that. I needed to buy this puck. I don't care how much it costs." So he purchased the puck, invited Bossy to Vegas, took him out for a steak dinner and reunited him with the puck. Is this what having kids is all about? Let me know now, so I can have the vasectomy done before sun down. Seriously, there are little girls out there giving away one of their father's most prized possessions to their swimming instructor? If that's the case then my idea of swimming classes will to toss my kid in the deep end, walk inside, and casually put my soundproof head phones on. I don't exactly have a hockey puck that speaks to a monumental accomplishment or anything, but I am sure one of my possessions is valuable enough to go to to prison for. I don't even understand this story. Are you just required to expect your child to do the dumbest thing they possibly could upon birth? Like you make a conscious decision upon looking at a baby for the first time that you will automatically forgive everything it ever does over the course of it's entire life. I got to say, I don't like the sound of that one single bit. I may not have been the most pleasurable child to raise, but I like to think that if this story is the precedent for stupidity than all my actions fall extremely far under it. I didn't think that infamous scene of 'The Sandlot' was anything more than a dramatization of chid rearing. Shame on me, I aways thought those lunatic parents that put child proof locks on EVERYTHING were the real assholes. Turns out they are just the assholes that don't have a single worry about the whereabouts of all their worldly possessions. Someone want to tell me how there are four people involved in this story and only one that did anything right was the guy that paid nearly $7,000 for a puck just to go out and have a steak dinner with it's rightful owner? At least that's a level of dedication to history that I can respect. Especially since the guy who bought it is a millionaire. Everyone else though? Jesus Christ, talk about FUBAR-ing a situation. First, you got the eight year old girl who probably should have met her foster parents about 6 seconds after she handed over that puck. Then you got the swimming coach that probably wouldn't know what hockey was if a game broke out poolside. I don't care how many times Mike Bossy "rebuffs" you. When a naive 8 year old gives you a puck you are not allowed to sell it. Maybe, oh, I don't know, put it in a box and ship the thing back to him? That's better than being the scumbag that profits off a partially stolen puck. Then you got Mike Bossy who is about 27 years late putting his child up for adoption. Yeah, I know, blah, blah, blah, great parent. Such an overrated attribute these days. All's well that ends well I guess, but this should really give us all a look in to the horror that is child birth. Mike Bossy scored 50 goals in 50 games and it took him damn near 30 years to get back HIS puck. Just goes to show that once you wait too long to pull out the only thing that is rightfully yours for the rest of eternity is the kid that's doing everything to make you want to give up it's rights. P.S. THE GREAT BAM-BI-NO! Independent- A French couple have fallen to their death while having sex at a historic fortress, it has been reported.
The couple in their early thirties apparently fell into the moat from the walls surrounding the castle at the Vauban Fort on the island of Chausey Archipelago in the English Channel. Reports have said the drop into the moat is 40ft high. The naked bodies of a man and woman, who were both born in 1984, were found on Thursday morning. Their belongings were reportedly found "above" at the castle. The man was found in a dried-out part of the moat while the body of a woman was found immersed in shallow water. Police in the area told French Le Figaro newspaper that it was possible the pair were engaging in "lovemaking that could have gone wrong". It's easy to pick on people when they basically reenact a scene that was cut from '10,000 Ways To Die'. However, I feel like we collectively harp too much on the misfortunes of others when maybe, just maybe, we are doing so to cover up some insecurities in ourselves. Yeah, this couple is dead, and that sucks, but if they were alive they would have the best fucking answer ever to "where is the craziest place you've had sex?". Sure, it would be easy for me to sit here as a living, breathing human being and criticize their choices, or balance for that matter, but you know what? I refuse to do that. I've never had sex on top of a castle wall? Have you? Yeah, exactly, jokes on us, that's probably the best climax ever. I don't know everything about sex, but I do know its way more enjoyable when you either have the potential to get caught or die. That's just a fact. Autoerotic asphyxiation, ever heard of it? Now, I will never do that, but that just makes me a big, prudish pussy that apparently doesn't respect a life changing orgasm enough, it doesn't make the castle fuckers any less respectful of their own lives. How dare anyone that is suffering through the monotony of mundane midriff money shots chastise the deceased. Ohhh, the guy that's been leaving the same pool of sperm in the swell of his girlfriend's back for the last decade is going to question the sexual conquests of others? That dead guy probably didn't even get to cum and he had more pleasure in the 5 minutes of sex he had prior to plummeting to his death than 90% of the people reading this have had in the last year. Congrats on finally slipping it in the butt bro. Too bad King fucking Arthur over there just wheel barreled some broad 50 feet into a moot with one over exuberant pump. That fucking story would be a show stopper every time. I might just steal it since they'll never get to use it. Something that kinky is deserving of reaching the next generation. BSO- "I think it’s ridiculous the way they’ve treated him,” Trump said. “He’s a friend of mine — a great friend of mine. He’s a great guy and I think it’s terrible the way they’ve treated him. To spend $10 million in legal fees, and now it’s probably much higher than that. It’s crazy what they’re doing. He’s a great star. They ought to go back to playing football. This country has bigger problems."
-Donald Trump I got to be honest, I am starting to get a little soft spot for Donald Trump. Still not on board with him becoming a viable candidate quite yet, but I think he's worked his way above 'Deez Nuts' on my leaderboard. I get that Trump is an idiot, but the problem is that literally every presidential candidate is an idiot. Watching the Republican National debate was like listening to sports radio. Just a bunch of guys taking absolutely ridiculous stances on a variety of subjects. Except, unlike sports radio, they aren't just trying to create controversy for controversy's sake, they are trying to run the entire country. I guess what I am trying to say is that all politicians are full of shit grease balls that are just saying what they think the public wants to hear. The difference is that Donald Trump, and I can't believe I am saying this, has his ear to streets. He knows what people want to hear. It's only a very small minority of the American public that wants hardline stances on abortion or taxes. Generally speaking, we just want to be entertained. Donald Trump is basically just a bachelor and the entire nation is his dating pool. He's just trying to make us laugh and find something that he has in common with each and everyone of us. That's basically all a presidential campaign is anyway. Donald Trump is just doing a fantastic job of pandering to the morons that inhabit this country, myself included. Why do you think Donald Trump even said that we have bigger problems than DeflateGate? Do we really believe that's a statement that can't go without saying? I really need a potential presidential candidate to tell me that a pump of air in a football isn't society's biggest concern? The whole reason he even mentioned it was so that he could slip in the fact that he's friends with Tom Brady. Well, would you look at that, Massachusetts is leaning Trump, wonder how that happened? First, it was Ronda Rousey, now it's Tom Brady. Not only does America love it's sports, but we love people that agree with our opinions on sports. Might as well take the nation by storm and name drop Derek Jeter. Maybe throw in a Drew Brees or a Ken Griffey Jr. Connect your name to enough people with a high approval rating and you might just gain one yourself. I'm surprised he hasn't started going the route of the deceased so they can't rebuke his claims. Can you imagine Trump claiming he was homies with Pat Tillman or Tony Gwynn? Street cred for days. The only reason it would take Hilary a couple minutes to throw in the white towel is because she would have to dry her tears with it first. You don't have to like Trump, and you certainly don't have to like his campaign, but so help me God you better respect it. The Jackson, Mississippi Mayor Has A Bulletproof Plan To Fix The Roads: Pray The Potholes Away!8/24/2015
WJTV- Jackson Mayor Tony Yarber is addressing the city’s infrastructure problem on Twitter.
He tweeted “Yes….I believe we can pray potholes away. Moses prayed and a sea opened up. #iseeya #itrustHim #prayerworks”. This is not the first time the Jackson mayor has talked about the city’s issues on the social media site. Just last week, Yaber tweeted about the possible Costo deal that’s being talked about in Ridgeland. He said in statement sent to WJTV that he was disappointed that some key leaders could not come together to make Costco a reality for the City of Jackson. The tweets read, “I am disgusted to know that there are public officials both present and past who were deliberate obstructionists in my Costco efforts.” Another tweet said “Very poor display of your love for Jackson while obstructing it’s progress.” Okay, so let's look past the fact that this tweet was probably in jest. Deal? Trust me it's way funnier if you just take it at face value. Anyway, I think by now I have made my thoughts on organized religion very clear. For that reason, people might expect me to disagree with Tony Yarber's insane plan of action to fix the roads in Jackson, Mississippi. Well, those people would be sorely mistaken, because if there if one thing that I love about Christianity it's that you can pretty much use it to justify anything. Oh, the citizens of Jackson wanted a Mayor in office that actually wanted to work? Looks like you shouldn't have voted in a man of the faith. Christianity is the lazy man's religion. Why would Tony Yarber pay money out of the city's pocket to have a bunch of dudes fix some potholes? Jesus turned water into wine, but that asshole is too busy to make sure I don't get a flat tire on the way to church on Sunday morning? Parting seas and shit when he could be over here parting traffic on the 405? Can't even make sure I blindly drive right past his house of prayer without being inconvenienced? I think I might get down on both knees bedside tonight just to ask him why he's so selfish. Why are we getting mad at a mayor when it's the Lord's will that those potholes exist? Everything happens for a reason. Probably didn't say enough 'Hail Mary's' after your last confessional. That'll teach you. I heard that Judaism has a few openings if you don't like the lesson. Fuck it, I might just rejoin the church right now. If God wanted me to go to work he would have woken me up on time. If he didn't want me to have premarital sex he wouldn't have put dumb women that are willing to fuck me on this planet. If he wanted me to never question my belief in him he wouldn't have given me a rational, free thinking brain. How can I be the sinner if God just keeps feeding me sins to commit? Free will, free schmill. Even if these are ultimately my decisions, I can just pray that shit away when I'm done. What do you think the big guy in the sky does when he accidentally introduces another terminal disease into the world? Shit, another school shooter? Looks like you got a long night of 'Our Fathers' ahead of you Messiah. Jesus Christ baby! My Lord and Savior, and more importantly, my favorite scapegoat! Puck Daddy- The National Women’s Hockey League (NWHL), a rival of the Canadian Women’s Hockey League (CWHL), completed its first free agency period last Monday. As the first league in the modern era to pay women for playing hockey professionally, the NWHL easily filled all 72 spots available.
Yet, when the clock struck midnight on the east coast, only 61 players had officially been announced as joining the league. The league quickly released a statement to clarify the variance: “Out of respect for the players, the NWHL has agreed to not announce the remaining players' intent to play in the league until they receive official releases from other leagues ... The NWHL still plans to announce the final team rosters and contract details as soon as the players are ready.” According to multiple sources, the remaining 11 "mystery" women are players who participated in the CWHL this past year. The players are unable to officially sign contracts with the NWHL because they have not been granted a termination of their player agreement by the CWHL -- despite following the steps laid out by the league to earn their release, and in some cases having asked for one as far back as May. Okay, so I know I blogged it when I found out about the formation of the NWHL. To save myself the time of going back through the archives, I am going to go out on a limb and say I sarcastically poked fun at the legitimacy of female professional sports. Again, just a hunch. Regardless, how did it not get mentioned in that previous article that there is ALREADY a professional hockey league for women? Ladies, you can't be this stupid, right? Only women could create their own league that is doomed to fail when a superior league that is doomed to fail already exists. This is the most female move of all time. The way I picture these two leagues is like the way I view two cliques of girls in middle school. I know in my school we had the 'Fab 5' and the 'Sexy 6'. Having two women's hockey leagues is the equivalent of both of them throwing a huge party on the same night and battling over which cool boys would go to which party. We are talking about a limited handful of talent as is, and now they are going to split that talent down the middle for no rational reason I can think of other than ego? Not to be too forward, but the NHL seems to be doing just fine using a formula that features Canadians and Americans. Girls, take note from Kim Kardashian's husband on this one. There's leaders, and there's followers, and not to be a dick, but in this case you should probably all be swallowers. Swallowers of your pride, that is. God forbid women put the bigger picture in front of their dignity for once. Isn't it females that are always talking about how they are marginalized in sports, and on a larger scale, society? Yet, they have a chance to merge into a formidable league, relatively speaking, and they decide to segregate themselves? I don't want to get racial here, but the similarities are far too glaring. This would be like Jackie Robinson just saying "nah, I'm good", and letting Major League Baseball and The Negro League continue to exist separately. At least they had something tangible, like a difference in skin color during a time of racial unrest, to worry about. These gals are shooting the potential growth of their sport directly in the foot over a preference of Tim Horton's over Dunkin' Donuts. Why don't they just take a league wide field trip to Susan B. Anthony's grave, that she undoubtedly already rolled over in, and spit all over it. Women didn't overcome suffrage just to let an arbitrary border and an obnoxiously long line at customs get in the way of progression. I think this whole feminism thing is becoming too much about pride and it's getting in the way of common sense. Oh well, to each their own. I wish the best of luck to both business models. Divide and conquer, or something like that. Maybe next we can start an all white professional basketball league. The less talent the better. Cris Carter Offers Up His Best Piece Of Advice To NFL Rookies: Make Sure You Have A 'Fall Guy'8/24/2015
SI- Hall of Famer Cris Carter has apologized for comments advising players at the 2014 NFC rookie symposium to have a “fall guy” ready to accept blame should they encounter legal trouble.
“Seeing that video has made me realize how wrong I was,” Carter wrote Sunday night in a series of tweets. “I was brought there to educate young people and instead I gave them very bad advice. Every person should take responsibility for his own actions. I'm sorry and I truly regret what I said that day.” Though the comments were made more than a year ago, the NFL did not take a stance until attention was called to video of Carter speaking at the event, which was originally posted on NFL.com. It has since been removed.The NFL issued a response to Carter's original comments earlier Sunday. Uhhhh, am I watching Cris Carter give a monologue at the NFL rookie symposium, or am I watching the beginning of his interactive comedy set? That video kind of reminds me of when Bill Cosby's old ass used to go on Jimmy Fallon and would just wander around and make awkward remarks that people had no idea how to respond to. Probably never good when you remind someone of a delusional senior citizen with a rape problem, but what do I know? I'm actually leaning towards blaming the NFL for this. This is what you get when you give an ex-drug addict a mic and tell him to give advice to the youth of America. Especially an ex-drug addict with a big fucking mouth. This is what Cris Carter does. He's the black, ex-athlete version of Skip Bayless, except he actually believes the shit that is spewing from that gutter he calls a mouth. Skip Bayless knows he's a caricature of himself when he goes on 'First Take'. He knows he's famous because he says outlandish things that no rational person would agree with. Meanwhile, Cris Carter is already famous for being a Hall Of Fame wide receiver, but still can't stop himself from making headlines for all the wrong reasons. So Roger maybe next time let's just stick to having Herm Edwards up there. I think he has a better pulse for what's appropriate than the player who almost lost his career to drugs and alcohol. All that being said, it is a good idea for NFL players to have a fall guy in their circles, but the rookie symposium is probably not the best place to discuss that. I thought the entire point was to teach rookies how to carry themselves as professionals, not how to get themselves swiftly out of situations where they act like criminals? Maybe we shouldn't admit defeat before their careers even start? What do you think about that Cris? Having a fall guy is like one of those things that goes without saying. Let the players with any semblance of street smarts figure it out for themselves. We don't have to make it rookie protocol to intentionally circumvent the law. You know in movies about college when the hard ass professor walks in and says something to the effect of "Look to your right. Now look to your left. Only one of you is going to pass"? If the professor followed that up with "...so you should probably cheat your ass off" then it would basically be the exact same thing as what Cris Carter is saying. Let the necessity to cheat be implied. Let the necessity for a fall guy be implied. How are we going to weed out the players that are too stupid for the league if CC is going around teaching them the intricacies of crime? P.S. In retrospect it's HILARIOUS that Warren Sapp is up there nodding along in agreement about 'fall guys' less than a year before he got arrested, and subsequently lost his job, for soliciting two hookers. No fall guy is going to save you from that crime. P.P.S. Here's how I read these tweets... "Talking to my employer made me realize that I am a fucking idiot that is lucky to receive a paycheck for formulating half conscious thoughts on national television. I truly regret being myself and if anyone had an ounce of social responsibility they would assassinate me....just don't forget to have a fall guy when you do it."
This Cop Choose Quite The Politically Incorrect Way To Start Fundraising For The Police Department8/24/2015 Just buy these tickets or we'll take your car.... WTH?
Metro- The Philadelphia Police Department is investigating a video that apparently shows a police officer selling tickets to a police fundraiser — and making homosexual slurs.
"Either you buy these, or I take your car, because it's unregistered," the officer, identified as Officer Charles Zagursky, 32, says in the video. The driver, identified on Facebook as Rob Stay Faded, buys the tickets as the officer encourages him to buy more, telling the men in the car they should avoid looking like "fruitcakes." "You got any kids," the cop says. "You got any sweetheart?" In a second video, Zagursky commented on the driver's pink windshield wipers, asking, "What's up with the f----t-ass wipers?" The 9-year veteran, assigned to the 24th District, was placed on desk duty pending investigation. "There's no excuse for his conduct at all," Ramsey said. "There's nothing good I can say." Goddamn it, just about the last thing I wanted to do was wake up on a Monday morning and defend a homophobic cop from Philadelphia. Full disclosure, I would probably rather take the stand on behalf of Jared the Subway guy. That's most because I know next to nothing about the law and he would have ended up with a worse sentence with me as part of his defense, but that's neither here nor there. I think the thing we need to take away from this is that you should never put yourself at the mercy of a Police officer. Know the best way not to get extorted for $30? Don't drive an unregistered car. However, if you are going to drive an unregistered car, just about the best thing that can happen to you if you have a run-in with the law is being offered a couple of cheap tickets to a benefit as a lifeline instead of having your vehicle taken. If the alternative is having your car seized and getting hit with a massive ticket plus towing and impound fees then I would have sold out that entire show by my goddamn self. Yes officer, I'll take ALL the tickets. Shit, I would have gave this closet homosexual a handy while he spit in my face and called me Susan if it saved me over $1,000 and a year's worth of frustration. Now, about the homophobic comments. No, it's not right, and I am glad that they took this officer's badge. Really, with that lack of self awareness it was just a matter of time before someone stuck a camera in his face while he was being a discriminatory, bigoted piece of shit. However, all confrontations with the police force are awkward and unsettling. Even when a cop isn't always calling you a "faggot", he might as well be. That's what cops do, they talk down to people. Usually they are just a little more passive aggressive about it. I think I would prefer an officer that just came out and said what was on his mind. Give me the cop that says "yo dude, are you a fucking idiot? This is a school zone" over the cop that says "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" like I am some blind motherfucker who is incapable of reading a speedometer. Now, trivializing breast cancer and bringing the term "fruitcake" back from the grave is a little extreme, but this is Philadelphia we are talking about. Come on Dorothy, we aren't in fucking Kansas anymore. You can't just send out happy-go-lucky cops to patrol citizens that are generally rough around the edges. I think the city that tried to stone Santa Clause and once used Duracells as their weapon of choice can handle a couple politically and socially incorrect jokes about the sexuality of their windshield wipers. Take away an ill timed gay joke or two and this cop was basically this guy's guardian angel. I don't even know what the event is that he bought tickets to but I would have been sitting front row with a Philadelphia PD shirt on and a foam finger on my hand. You can call me a pussy, but I'm a pussy that still has a way to get from point A to point B. P.S. Not sure I'm getting involved with the law via social media if my Facebook name is "Rob Stay Faded". Didn't need any help to draw that target on his back.
Aren't twins supposed to have that telepathic thing where they think alike? Then how come Jarron Collins is still chillin' in the blind spot of the public eye? Not only that, how come he is giving his twin brother even more notoriety by broadcasting his terrible golf swing? Hell, after Jason did that whole "being the first active, openly homosexual NBA player" thing everyone had already forgotten Jarron Collins even existed. Now he's going use his Instagram account to give his brother even more popularity? Seems a little counterproductive to the sibling rivalry. Sure, posting your brother swinging a golf club like a gay dude, for lack of a better term, may seem like a good way to poke fun of him, until you realize sucking at golf is actually good for your brand. Don't believe me? Ask Charles Barkley. He follows through with a 4 iron like someone accidentally sat on the remote during his swing, and he gets to play in charity golf tournaments every other weekend because of it. He's a Hall Of Fame basketball player, and he's most beloved for looking like he has Parkinson's when he's on the tee box. The best thing you can do for your approval rating, other than coming out of the closet, is to look like you're taking a 'goofy' stance on a skateboard and whacking away aimlessly like a kindergartener playing tee ball. I got to give it to Jason Collins, for someone whose post game left much to be desired, he certainly knows the right moves to make to keeping himself relevant. Maybe one day he can teach Jarron, you know, the straight one.
P.S. No, but seriously, someone needs to help him fix whatever the hell that was. You can't be a pioneer for homosexuality in professional sports and get up there hacking away like a toddler who just got his first set of orange and yellow plastic clubs. Feeds into far too many negative stereotypes. Especially when the LGBT athletic community is still trying to recover from all the damage Michael Sam did to their reputation.
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