Yahoo- The Eagles are 3-0, one of the few undefeated teams left in the NFL. You'd think all would be harmony and happiness in the locker room. And then you'd remember this is Philadelphia we're talking about, where nobody ever takes the easy path when there's a more prickly one to travel.
Cornerback Cary Williams heralded the end of a triumphant, hard-won victory not by taking pride in the team, but by griping about practice.
This is we can't let Philadelphia ever have nice things. They start 3-0 for the first time since Jerry Jones got his last natural erection and all the sudden players are complaining about being burnt out…3 games in to the season. I am not saying I know Chip Kelly's workout program or practice schedule. They may very well be carrying heavy legs. After pulling out a hard fought win over a divisional opponent is definitely not the time to address it though.
Why are athletes so dumb? It really is a mystery. The best way to not get yourself an off day is by going to the media about how much you need an off day. I'm sure those are the questions Chip wants to be answering after a great win. Go to the coaches', present a decent case, show some leadership. Chances are Kelly was going to give them an off day after this win anyway. Why cause a rift in the locker room of an undefeated team? That's what going to the media does. I bet this reporter had a shit eating grin on his face as soon as Williams started talking. They live for sounds bites like this.
Cary Williams, of all people. Possibly my favorite part of this story. This guy gets absolutely roasted by his ex teammate for a crucial touchdown and his first response is that he's tired. Come on man! Excuse train is pulling in, right on time too. I love how he uses this reason for his subpar play by shielding it with the old 'I'm doing it for my teammates' cop out. You want to do something for your teammates Cary? How about doing your job and covering someone. If you are going to say something dumb to the media the best approach is to speak for yourself, not the rest of the team.
There are EX-NFLers rolling in their grave at these statements. The league practice schedule is so watered down now compared to the past. You are restricted by rule to only a certain amount of padded practice hours. Years ago two-a-days were as common as television antennas and cheap gas. I understand why they changed that policy. The players are bigger, stronger and faster and it takes a toll on their bodies. Still though, bitching to the media 3 games into the season makes you look softer than baby shit. Someone tell Princess Cary to let his nuts drop.
Plus, full disclosure…...
….Chip Kelly practices look fun.
Buzzfeed- Emma Watson delivered an inspiring speech about feminism at the UN Headquarters in New York yesterday, saying there is a need for more feminists in society and called on men to advocate gender equality.
Why? Why do my celebrity wives keep fucking up? First Kelly Rowland gets knocked up and cuts her hair like a 12 year old boys. Then Scarlett Johansson broke my heart by ballooning up with child. Then Hayden Panettiere forgets how to use birth control and is expecting. Okay, so maybe they didn't fuck up. Maybe they just decided to grow up, fall in love and have babies. Whatever, in my book that's considered fucking up.
Now it's Emma Watson's turn to piss me off with her diatribe on how she is a feminist. Female celebrities are supposed to stand around, get photographed, and most importantly, look pretty. Above all, that is their job. That is why they are rich. Do they have talent? Yes. Does that talent mean shit without their looks? Fuck. And. No.
For this reason, Emma Watson's monologue about feminism holds water. Are females still discriminated against in some walks of life? Yeah, sure. It certainly isn't prevalent enough to be giving a speech about it at the UN. Don't we have more important things to talk about?
The world is full of double standards Emma. Get over it. It's the reason why no one cares that Hope Solo beat the shit out of her whole family while Ray Rice is being crucified. It is the reason why females are looked down upon for sleeping with multiple people while men are praised for it. It is the reason why attractive females are able to get sideline gigs at sporting events based almost exclusively on their looks. These are just facts of life. You win some, you lose some. It's give and take.
This speech was all over the place. Complaining about being overly sexualized at 14? Complaining that men can't speak their feelings at 18? First of all Emma, You know why you are a millionaire? Because you were an attractive 14 year old. That's why you got the Harry Potter role. That's why I know who you are. Your foot in the door was your looks. Shit, I would let a catholic priest over sexualize me at 14 if it meant I had Emma Watson money now. I would be at the UN making it rain, not being a whiney little bitch like you.
Also, maybe men don't want to speak their feelings. We didn't ask for your help. If there is something men want more of it is the right to say what they feel even less. Why is the feminist speaking on behalf of men? That seems ironic to say the least.
It is not that I have a problem with women fighting against discriminatory actions against them. Emma Watson as a spokesperson though? Get real. The beautiful millionaire who hasn't had a problem getting a job since she was in middle school. When millionaires complain they start losing my attention rather quickly. You really want to grab my attention? Give me a 220 pound women that hasn't been able to get a job that doesn't involve wearing a mask in 20 years. Throw her on stage. A woman so hideous that the mere site of her makes me cringe. Then, like a bad car crash, I won't be able to look away. Emma strikes me as the type that has no idea how much shit she has been given due to her appearance alone. Emma Watson complaining about discrimination is like having Antonio Cromartie giving a speech on the trials and tribulations of impotence. It's like Bill Gates talking about the hardships of homelessness. It's not something they have had to deal with.
Are we really still complaining about gender inequality? There are advantages and disadvantages towards being both male and female. For example, If Emma Watson entered the finance world she may get paid less for the same job done by a male. However, I bet her ass still wouldn't have to pay on a date. That girl has been paid for every single time she has been taken out. Maybe she split the check once on her boyfriend's birthday….maybe. The next time she buys herself a drink it will be the first time.
Something tells me she won't me happy until men are able to get pregnant too. Let me tell you something Emma, the world won't be a better place if we just have a bunch of genderless pansexual weirdos inhabiting it. Both sexes have found their niche in society and I think things are going pretty smoothly. I can't believe the hot actress is sitting here complaining about the 'glass ceiling' when her life has a retractable roof.
P.S. If she's allowed to be a feminist then I am allowed to be a masculinist. Who's paying for my drinks?
P.P.S. If she wants there to be no differences between men and women in society then this look was a hell of a start…
I don't know why I did it. Maybe the fact that I have embraced the degenerate attitude in every other facet of my life. Sports betting seemed like the next reasonable step. Regardless, Saints -10 seemed too good to be true. Maybe I was just putting a couple hundred on the Saints' season not being over. If I was going to feel emotional pain I might as well have it hit my wallet as well. Because, make no mistake about it, if they couldn't beat the Vikings at home by more than 10 then Saints fans don't have much to look forward to for the foreseeable future.
When I woke up this morning my heart and my brain said 'the Saints are going to win by 60 today'. Eh, close enough. So I was only 49 off. What fun is sports betting if you don't feel like you need a diaper come the 4th quarter? Was it an overwhelming performance? Meh. Not all that impressive from a team I have seen absolutely demoralize the competition at home for the better part of a century.
A win is a win. Just win baby. Need I go on? 1-2 and a primetime matchup with Dallas next Sunday night on the horizon. That's what I am talking about. Without looking it up I can say with confidence that the Saints are 306-1 in primetime in the last 8 years. We're back. Super Bowl…here we come. Sure it was the Vikings at home without Adrian Petersen, but every baby has to take it's first step, and the Saints will be running marathons on the NFC by November.
If I had to give a grade I would say all sides of the ball were satisfactory. The boys will have to get the killer instinct they are famous for sooner, rather than later. This game could have, and should have, been put away in the first quarter. We are a long ways from a finished product. However, until next Sundays dismantling of the Cowgirls on national TV….drinks are on me.
Saints -10, Lock of a lifetime.
P.S. There's levels to this shit Minnesota!
Rutgers fans can forget the first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes. The other 50 were complete and thorough domination. The running game was stellar and able to give Gary Nova a much needed opportunity to rest his arm. James (pre-injury), Peoples and Goodwin left tire tracks all over the Navy defense. Was I one more touchdown away from an aneurism in the first quarter? Sure. Was I one false breath from a stroke in the 4th quarter? 1,000,000%. Doesn't matter now though. 1-0 this week. Fuck Navy. Bring on Tulane. As heart breaking as the Penn State game was, the Scarlet Knights still have an opportunity to take on a weakened Michigan team to go 5-1 if they play their cards right. Good Lord I needed that win. Go KNIGHTS!!!
P.S. The triple option is the biggest mind fuck in the history of sports, and to be frank, it can kiss my black ass.
Elite Daily- The Baltimore Ravens held a Ray Rice jersey exchange at M&T Bank Stadium this morning. Every fan who showed up with an official team jersey with the number 27 and Rice’s signage on the back was allowed to get a new replica jersey of any new Ravens player he or she wanted.
It's been a rough few months for the Baltimore faithful. It's always tough to fight your instincts when one of your own does some unjustifiable shit; Just ask Penn State fans. Truth be told, Ravens' fans have made themselves look pretty, pretty, prettttttty bad up until this point.
After the first Rice video, and the subsequent suspension, they continued to stand behind him. It seemed like every time Ray Rice was spotted in public without a lifeless female body on his arm he was given a heroes' welcome. A little bit much for someone that knocked his wife into oblivion. Beating your wife is one of those things where once is enough. For instance Josh Gordon not smoking weed for a month is a milestone accomplishment, not really the same for Ray Rice. I think we got a couple years, or decades, to go before we can judge his progress.
Anyway, Ravens fans really looked like the bane of human existence when the second video came out. The outpouring of support for Ray really came to a head even after he was cut. Rice jerseys littered the stadium and interviews of women defending Ray's actions went viral. Pretty awful look, especially when Rice was no longer a member of the organization.
Today though, I understand it all. It's not that people were backing Ray Rice, or his actions. They were simple protecting an investment. Everyone knows that feeling in the back of your head when you buy a jersey. You always think the player will spend 10 years in the franchise and retire there, only to have him be shipped out a year or two later. Fuck that. However, in most of these circumstances the player's are traded or their contracts run out. Simple sports business stuff. At least it means your team is able to receive something in return. A draft pick maybe. Possibly another player that can help your team.
Ravens fans didn't have that. With one full swing Rice stole every bit of value from the countless jersey that bear his name, without his fans receiving anything in return. A NFL jersey usually goes for around $100-$150 bucks. That's a nice chunk of change. I would pretend Ray Ray was a good guy too if it meant I could justify dropping my hard earned money on his jersey. So now, with the Baltimore Ravens holding a jersey exchange, we see what the real issue was. Fans just wanted some value for their investment, and they finally got it. Supporting a known domestic abuser was 'Hedging 101'. Plain and simple.
….Or they are really just a bunch of nut jobs, they do have a statue that more than likely represents a murder sitting outside their stadium. Fuckin' Baltimore.
Can't make this shit up….
You would never know how poor of a hand Eric LeGrand was dealt. It's the ultimate poker face. Except for the fact that it is 100% genuine. It truly is unbelievable. When I see tweets like this I laugh hysterically, and then I just sit back and say 'wow'. How many people, in their heart of hearts, could say they would remain this happy, positive and inspiring given the situation Eric is in? I would venture to say the percentage is microscopic.
In a world full of negativity, where people are so seldom able to laugh at themselves, this tweet and the person responsible for it are a breath of fresh air. There is no way anyone could repay Eric LeGrand for what he has given us, and that is the belief in a better tomorrow. The belief that nothing is insurmountable. And most importantly, the belief that no circumstance is too awful for a good laugh. He just understands life better than any us ever could.
We'll always bELieve Eric!
USA Today- Pabst Blue Ribbon — a sub-premium beer brand that embraced savvy marketing to stay relevant in a craft beer age — has been sold, along with its parent, Pabst Brewing Co., to Russian company Oasis Beverages.
Look at that ad. Look at it closely. What is more American than that ad? A goddamn leather head enjoying an ice cold brewski on a Sunday afternoon. Today is a day of mourning. The American beer distributor Pabst Blue Ribbon has been sold to a Russian company. The owners that sold have to go. Preferably to France, that seems like a great place for such frivolous decision making. We as a nation can not stand for this. Ship them out ASAP. Soon enough the all too familiar blue and red decor of the unmistakable can will be sporting a hammer and sickle and anti-gay propaganda.
Unfortunately, Respect where respect is due. This move by Russia was, in a word, calculated. Not the biggest American beer distributor, but one that strikes a chord with a large demographic of Americans. Russia now has their hand in every American college students' pocket. Make no mistake, this was not simply a business move. This was a dagger to the side of what we, as Americans, stand for...mass produced, cheap, shitty beer.
It's not that anyone really likes Pabst Blue Ribbon. In fact, I would go out on a limb and say no one does. We don't need to like it, because we love it. Walking into a dive, dropping a single and 2 quarters on the bar, and walking away with an ice cold beer is as American as apple pie.
I don't know what's next, but I do know that Russia just swung first. Our move red, white, and blue…
"They can take our beer, but they'll never take OUR FREEDOM!!!"
P.S. Best ad ever?
NJ.com- Following a NJ Advance Media investigation that included statements from more than a half-dozen people inside the Rutgers athletic department, university officials acknowledged Hermann made the Sandusky-related remark at a staff meeting last fall.
Multiple people interviewed by NJ Advance Media -- who would speak only on the condition of anonymity because they feared retribution -- said Hermann was talking about "reaching out and touching the donors" of the program and her punchline was to not do it "in a Sandusky way".
Yawwwwn. Do not care. Rutgers' athletic director made a joke about a pedophile a year ago. Why does everything have to be a thing? The statue of limitation has run out on this joke guys. All that says to me is that she has a sense of humor and I would probably enjoy grabbing a beer with her. Listen, I get that Sandusky jokes are in poor taste, but they are also kind of funny. Are there people out there that haven't made a Sandusky joke in the last 2 years? I don't want to know them. We aren't talking about a 'Danny Ferry comment' that has any derogatory or discriminatory implications. She just chose a poor time to remind everyone in the meeting that Penn State coaches touch kids. Sometimes we forget these things.
Fantastic investigative reporting Star Ledger. A year later you uncovered an off the cuff joke made in front of the 'privacy' of her own staff. Who was responsible for getting the scoop on this? They should be the 168th person laid off.
The real question here is who is the mole? Fucking narc. Yeah, I'm sure everyone in the room gasped for breath and was appalled when she made the joke. 1000% chance half the room laughed. Who are these stick-in-the-mud Rutgers' officials? Don't give me that anonymous bullshit. Sac up pussy. If you are going to rat on the athletic director on your own staff you deserve the firestorm that's coming your way.
Lest we forget Julie Hermann apologized no more than a few days ago on behalf of the University. This joke was made a year ago, and she already apologized on behalf of the University of which she is a part. Bases covered, Good work Jules.
P.S. This is the exact reason I KNOW apologizing for Saturday was not Julie's call. She doesn't give 1/8th of a fuck what people think. She didn't regret making this joke. Probably made multiple similar jokes since. She probably laughed while reading this article. Scratch that. She probably read the headline and set it aflame right in front of whoever gave it to her.
CBS- Libertyville resident Cliff Hieronymus — after watching last weekend’s NFL pre-game shows with his 7-year-old son jack — made a bold decision.“The NFL is suspended indefinitely in my house. I can’t get up on Sundays and have to have those conversations all day with my son,” he says.
Apparently explaining that beating women and children is too hard for some people. So because some NFL athletes are morons and do awful, awful things you are going to take away something your son probably loves, for no fault of his own. I can see the logic there. Makes total sense. Classic case of over parenting, while not doing any real parenting at all. What is this guy going to do when his son needs the 'birds and bees' talk? Probably block every adult website on the computer and pray none of his friends tell him about sex at school.
If you don't want to have that talk with your child because you feel he is so young how about you just turn off the pre game show? Not all that difficult. Pretty sure you can watch the actual sport of football without having to explain to him what's right and wrong. Does this guy realize that bad things happen in all walks of life? That terrible people exist outside of the television as well? Is the news banned in the household too? Maybe you should just lock your kid in his room until he's the appropriate age to learn that there is some fucked up shit out there. What is that age anyway? 10? 11? Pretty sure you can start laying your child's moral foundation at 7. If you didn't want to parent then why did you become a parent.
What sparked this anyway? There is very little chance his 7 year old was paying attention during the pre game show, never mind nailing him with some hard hitting questions.
"Colker calls it a chance to explain that even sports stars are regular people, with regular problems — and a chance to discuss best behaviors."
Yeah okay dude. You sure you're a psychological expert? I see the point you are trying to prove, but do better. Be better. Yeah sports stars are regular people with regular problems. Regular millionaire people with regular beating their wife problems. Calling child abuse and domestic abuse 'regular problems' just sends the wrong message all in itself. He is right about one thing though, seven is definitely not to young to start raising your child.
NY Times- “Twitter is hard to evaluate,” Mr. Thiel said in an interview on CNBC on Wednesday. “They have a lot of potential. It’s a horribly mismanaged company — probably a lot of pot-smoking going on there.”
Before we get started, lets get this out of the way…..snitch.
Ohhhhhhh shit, people at twitter smoke pot! Yeah dude, we all knew that. Everyone that has ever created a social media outlet smokes pot. I am like 99% sure of that. You think Mark Zuckerberg was chilling in his room clear headed when he wanted to see all the girls on campus without leaving the comfort of his dorm room? No shot. He was half baked with his dick in his hand. Left that one out of the movie.
I can't believe he thought he was dropping some kind of bomb with this. Oh, got em! Dude, twitter is the pothead's dream. You basically get all the news that you want in a two sentence blurb. Also, it is the best outlet a stoner could ask for. All the 'what ifs' you could possibly ask for fit snugly into 140 characters.
Clearly this plug doesn't know what goes on in your head after you smoke. His friends probably offered him a puff in college and he decided to skip on the social scene and join the finance club. He wouldn't know the smell of weed if it was burning on the tip of his overly pretentious nose. I bet this dork drinks twisted teas, maybe Mike's Hard if he's really letting loose.
Best part of the video? Watch his eyes as he says 'pot', it's like he's afraid of the word. Like he's going to get canned for mentioning a drug that is already legal in some states. The only surprising thing is that he didn't call it 'dope' or 'the weed'.
Dick Costolo, CEO of Twitter, had this to say….
USA Today- In his first public comments since abruptly resigning Sept. 5, former Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington said he was embarrassed and at a "very low time in my life" after not being true to his wife after 42 years of marriage.
First of all, where have I been? Literally had no idea Ron Washington resigned out of the clear blue. What could it have been? Health issues? Problems with his kids? Nooooope, just fucked another broad.
Waiiiiiit a minute…No chance this is a thing. You can't just resign because you cheated on your wife, that's the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Now let's just say what it is. You didn't resign because you cheated on your wife. You resigned because you got caught cheating on your wife. That's the truth. If you are going to just up and leave your team at least tell the truth.
Now the question weighing on everyones mind…Is Ron Washington the worst cheater ever? You never have to use the 'I gotta work late' or the 'I gotta go away on business' excuse. It's literally built into your job description. Your wife can find your exact schedule with the click of a button or by looking at a magnet on her fridge. He is in a different city every week. Never has to worry about his wife coming home or wondering where he is. As long as he doesn't give his phone number out he can sleep with countless different women a year, and never have to worry about getting caught. If you don't tell women you're Ron Washington, Texas Rangers coach, they would never have a damn clue.
Save the crocodile tears Ron. You can't just quit your job because you cheated. ESPECIALLY when you are the manager of a professional sports team. What would a team say if all the players that cheat came out and said "my wife is making me quit"? That would be roughly 60%, maybe 70%, of the league quitting.
This is such a cop out I can't even believe it. So if the Texas Rangers were in contention for a World Series like they have been in recent years Washington still would have quit? 0% chance. The Rangers are absolutely putrid. Basically instead of losing for a few more weeks then dealing with an inevitably crazy wife, he just expedited the process.
Don't give me this sob story. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He should have just rode out the rest of the season and banged all the strange he possibly could on the road. You're already a cheater who is about to go home to an absolute buzz saw, might as well.
P.S. He is officially on lockdown for life now, right? You don't just quit your job as a professional coach and get another gig in the future.
C'mon Ron, When all else fails, ask Shaggy….
TheHockeyNews- There is no truth to the rumor that the New Jersey Devils had extra defibrillators on hand when their players showed up for fitness testing on the first day of training camp today. But you can understand how these things get started.
When the Devils opened camp, they did so with a decidedly older bent to their roster of hopefuls. Among those who are in Devils camp this fall on tryouts are defensemen Tomas Kaberle and Mike Komisarek, centerScott Gomez, right winger Jordin Tootoo and left winger Ruslan Fedotenko. Combined number of NHL games last season: 89. Combined age: 171 years and 93 days.
Just to address this real quick…The writer of this article is a fucking dweeb. Either be funny or don't be funny. Don't spout out some haphazard joke about defibrillators you disingenuous fuck. Better pray I don't email this to Lou. You'll be sleeping at the bottom of the Hudson with bricks tied around your ankles. Seriously though, doubt Lou has email anyway. Strictly deals in the written or spoken word. That's how true gangsters do it. Can't have all that private information floating up there in the cloud. Fuck 'The Fappening'. If any of Lou's info gets out its gonna be 'The Whackening'. Anyway...
See that GIF. 42 years young, right in your mouthpiece. Whatever, so the Devils average age is 51 and change. That doesn't change anything. We have entered the Schneider era, and by all counts are looking at a 72 win season. Gotta account for the 10 shootout losses. Jagr easily has 80 goals in him. 67 points his first year in the system? Expect him to easily double that. I'm taking him first round of my fantasy draft and Schneider 2nd round. Impossible to lose with those two.
I have seen a lot of armchair GM's making comments on the Devils bringing in some wily veterans for camp. My response? Who cares. Chances of any of them making the team are slim, and on the off chance they do, it means they outperformed the players in front of them. If anything, it's ironic. Remember that 7 year monster deal the Rangers gave Scott Gomez? Well, if he didn't get bought out about 5 years ahead of time it would be expiring this upcoming summer. Gonna be kind of fun to push him back out the door into Lafayette Street traffic when he gets cut.
Do people forget Petr Sykora? I'm not saying every camp tryout turns into a 20 goal contributor for a Stanley Cup finalist, but I'm not saying they don't. The Devils have accepted what they are; An older team with little young depth up front, and a lot of defensive prospects. Regardless of their old age they have a style and a coach that gets the most out of its' players. People forget that with very little talent the Devils were a handful of shootout losses away from the playoffs. Bad luck doesn't strike like that twice. All we need to do is get in the playoffs and face a bunch of backup goalies, including Fleury, and were off to the finals again. Sound familiar Rangers fans?
Sidenote: Shout out to Dan Girardi. I wouldn't have been able to live in a world where the Rangers were Stanley Cup champions. Thanks for saving me from a pool of my own blood, one turnover at a time.
The fact is that the Devils are better, talent wise, than last year. They have opened up some room for promising young players on the blue line. Also, once I run Michael Ryder over with my car, there will be a glaring hole at right wing to fill with a younger player. The point is, while not in the best spot age wise, the Devils don't rebuild. That's for the birds. Give me a GM that is going to try to win every season 100% of the time.
When it comes down to it, anything can happen in the playoffs, and what's the one thing you need in the playoffs? Oh, thats right…Veteran leadership, and according to the AARP cards, we've got it by the dozen.
Vintage. The plaid shirt tucked into the jeans,and he threw the blazer on top? Classic herb move. He's seen here promoting his book "Selling The Dream: How Hockey Parents and Their Kids are Paying the Price for Our National Obsession".
It should be called "Selling my Soul: How Hockey Parents and Their Kids are Paying the Price by Looking at My Wardrobe"
P.S. Spread the world, Ken's a communist hockey hardo...
…..and the only person in the world that likes the spin-o-rama
I would expect nothing less.
What the fuck you just say to me Ken?
CBSSports- Then Boeheim added something interesting: he made clear how Kentucky coach John Calipari has been the one consistent dissenter of Krzyzewski's involvement with Team USA. Ironic, given Calipari is no-doubt-about-it the most successful recruiter in the game (and it's no secret he'd one day love to sit in Coach K's chair, coaching the Olympic team).
If the question is "Does Coach K receive a recruiting advantage by coaching Team USA?" then the answer is undoubtedly yes. Of course he does. Any recognizable coach held in high regard, and put in a position as prestigious as coaching the best players in the world would.
Do I care? Fuck no. I hate Duke as much as the next person, but good for Coach K. Complaining about the advantage Coach K receives by coaching Team USA is essentially just complaining about his overall success. As big of a recruiting chip as coaching Team USA is, being able to say "I have the most wins in college basketball history" is much, much bigger. There's a reason Coach K was chosen to head the USA men's basketball team. Because he's a damn good coach. I'm fairly certain he didn't hand pick himself for the position.
Also, of all the people to be complaining, John Calipari? The same guy that announced an NBA scouting combine for his players no more than a month ago? You think the exposure to NBA scouts and executives while still in school makes recruits ears perk up a little? He is by far the best recruiter in the nation, and has possibly the easiest sell to any potential recruits. On a yearly basis Kentucky has 2-3 future NBA players starting for them. Regardless of championships, it's not ridiculous to say that Kentucky has had the most talented team each of the last 5 years. So cry me a river Calipari, because if were talking recruiting malpractice then you're suspect #1.
I have a question for all the advertising agencies out there. How is this the first time the Apparently Kid has blessed me with his presence since his interview went viral? He should have had a job the second his auto-tuned interview hit the worldwide web. And how was the healthy pet food company the first ones to jump all over him? This kid is marketing gold. Just give the him a mic and a general idea of what he is selling and start counting your cash. He could sell beer to a mormon family. Typewriters to a tech company. Popular opinion to a hipster. If there is one thing Noah was blessed with, it is the gift of gab.
He already has better stage presence then most of the people on television. Sure theres a little bit of stuttering in there, but thats what you get with genuine improv. Noah is more fire flames than the amber mop a top his head.
This kid has the market cornered on green stripped polos by the way. His agent better be scouring department stores to find new shades of green for this kid to pull off. Part of me will die if I see this kid in the same shirt twice, or wearing anything but green stripes. Which brings me to my next point. Barring a drastic life change during his formative years, he will always be know as the Apparently Kid, right? A chubby kid named Noah with fiery red hair, a voice as distinct as the day is long, in his patented green striped shirts? Never change Noah, stay golden.
This kid is going to grow up and either become the best story teller ever, or the worst story teller ever. My money is on best, but it could really go either way. The ability to clamor on about nothing is useless without the development of some quick wit and the ability to deliver a punchline. However, if that mic drop is any indication this ginger has a bright, bright future…
P.S. Respect the attempted phone number plug, panties just dropped across the nation.
Now cue the motherfuckin' music...
SI- Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer was arrested for domestic violence on Wednesday, reports Arizona TV anchor Tyler Baldwin. CBS confirmed Dwyer's arrest and reported that he has been charged with aggravated assault and preventing someone from calling 911.
Jonathan fucking Dwyer. Can you believe this asshole? First this guy costs me my fantasy game in week one with a meaningless carry with 30 seconds left, and now he becomes the latest jackass in a dangerous trend.
No will power what-so-ever. Part of me this thinks the crack down on domestic abuse somehow planted this seed in the minds of NFL players. Maybe the fact that they absolute can't do something anymore makes them that much more likely to do it? I just picture Dwyer whispering to himself, "don't hit her, don't hit her, don't hit her, BAM".
Here's a little tip for future perpetrators of the law. Pick something new. Don't pick the crime that the NFL spotlight has been shining the brightest on for the last few months. Don't pick the crime that has people asking for the commissioner's resignation. Do anything else. You'll probably get a shorter suspension if you murder somebody. Look at Ray Lewis. He murdered somebody and now he goes on TV and gets paid to talk about domestic abuse, child abuse, and now, Jonathan Dwyer.
For the time being this makes Jonathan Dwyer the dumbest person in the NFL, correct? Ray Rice was cut 9 days ago. Nine days you found out a pro bowl running back lost his job for hitting a woman, and you only made it to today? Ray Rice was actually a top back in the league and lost his job. Greg Hardy is a premier pass rusher and was just dismissed from all team activities. You, Jonathan Dwyer, are a backup. If you are a backup running back in the NFL you should have the highest moral fiber of any athlete in the world. You're basically excommunicated from the sport at 30, and there's about a billion guys available on the free agent market that can fill your role adequately.
Is there some type of inverse correlation between athletes progressing physically and regressing intellectually through time? It's either that or Dwyer has taken way too many hits to the head. It's probably the Saints' fault. Blame the bounties.
Either way, this news has to have Petersen smiling…
Yahoo- So with spirits high, one group of fans has decided it's time to honor and celebrate Joe Paterno at this Saturday's game against UMass at Beaver Stadium. Instead of the "white-outs" the venue is so famous for, the group is proposing a "Joe-out," which is a little more difficult to pull off than waving white towels in the air.
Love this move. Absolutely love it. If there is anything we learned from the Ray Rice scandal it's that Americans are visual learners. Sure, a couple hundred people chanting Paterno's name in the street sends a message. You know what really sends a message though? An entire stadium full of people dressed as a creepy looking old dude that covered up child molestation.
I can't believe it has taken this long to organize this rally. What better way to show the NCAA they made the wrong decision by flaunting it right in their face. Everyone knows that relieving the football program of their sanctions means that Joe Paterno was completely innocent. Duh, common sense people. I love this move so much I am going to organize a 'Knock-out' at the next Rutgers' home game. We already have a blackout game, why the fuck not? Everyone will punch the woman nearest to them directly in the face after every score. How else could we possibly honor Ray Rice, the best athlete in Rutgers' history?
Seriously though, when does construction begin on the 30 foot walls we are clearly going to have to build around the entire university? These kids are going to spend 4, maybe 5, or their formative years thinking in this clan mentality. We can't possibly let them out in to the real world where people are expected to make their own decisions and think logically.
Is there anymore proof needed that the Penn State football program should have gotten the death penalty? It took one week of sanctions being lifted for them to decide to have their very own Joe Paterno halloween. Give 'em an inch, they take a mile.
"It's honoring our past. We are Penn State. If that's not JoePa then who?"
Easily my favorite quote in the article. Mostly because it's not from some dumb ass 19 year old college student. Its from a 4th generation graduate. Honoring your past? Your past is what you have been penalized for. It's exactly what you should be trying to forget while moving forward and getting past this whole saga. You don't need to honor one person. And shit, if you are going to honor one person, make sure that person is at least an honorable person in the first place. Take pride in your university as a whole like the rest of the rational thinking public.
Hitler University, coming in hot…..again.
P.S. Food for thought. What percentage of Paterno supporters are absolutely outraged by the Adrian Petersen mess?
The look of a man that will never know what a vagina feels like. Probably gone through more apple pies than Jason Biggs at a bake sale.
NOLA.com - Darren Sharper is taking legal aim at the New Orleans Saints from his California jail cell, pressing on with a previously denied workers compensation claim that his former employer owes him more than $95,000 because of a November 2009 knee injury he says shortened his career.
Darren Sharper feels he was wronged to the tune of $95,000 in 2009, and just now decided to file a law suit. Well, if you believe that then you probably believe people when they tell you they will be there in 5 minutes. This is a blatant money grab. Sharper has gotten himself in a plethora of trouble with the law. In fact, he's been collecting rape charges like some people collect coffee mugs. You know the person who gets the boot put on their car, and then they find 100 parking tickets in their glove box? That's like Darren Sharper with rape charges, except they need to put the boot on his dick. Sharper has now been in prison for over 200 days, and has at least 6 pending charges for drugging and raping girls all across this fair country of ours. You think it's a coincidence he all of the sudden needs $95,000 out of nowhere? He is going to need the best lawyer team in the history of history.
I totally get why he's doing it. The guy is in deep. Up shit creek without a paddle would be putting it mildly. Chances are by now his shit creek has been used and abused. Doesn't look good for one of the main reasons the Saints were able to win their first Super Bowl in 2009. Thanks Darren, we will never forget it. But it's time to find the nearest belt, because you aren't getting out of prison for a long, long time.
P.S. NFL players can get worker's compensation? Darren Sharper was 34 in 2009. That's like 50 in NFL years. Why would the Saints owe him anything more than a thank you after not resigning him? It's not like they made him play with an injured knee. Not sure retiring at 36 falls under the category of "premature retirement". Oh well, I'm sure it makes sense in his head. Something tells me the Saints aren't going to shell out $95,000 just to make this go away. Especially since it would be used in an attempt to save him from the numerous egregious crimes he has obviously committed.
Elite Daily- A Staten Island public school is taking a few steps back from freedom of expression. Tottenville High School’s updated dress code bans halter tops, hats, hooded sweatshirts and sunglasses. In the first two weeks of school, over 200 students have already been sent to the principal’s office for violating the code.
First of all, Not entirely sure what is being cracked down on dress code wise. The picture above makes it seem like they are making females dress in traditional Muslim garb, but every news outlet I have seen doesn't seem to mention that. Some students have mentioned via twitter that they are also banning skinny jeans, leggings, and sweats. Either way, Turning a Staten Island public school into a police state is a bad idea. Essentially Staten Island fashion is the traditional dress of the mongoloids you used to see on the 'Jersey Shore'. So, when you tell them they can't wear halter tops or sunglasses you are basically eliminating essential elements of their wardrobe. Girls from Staten Island aren't even aware that the original concept of shirts was to cover ones' stomach. People from Staten Island wear their sunglasses inside. I am not saying that is a fact, but it's definitely not a fabrication. The following tweet speaks to that…
These kids might, quite literally, have nothing else to wear.
Anyway, this dress code sounds psychotic. This is a public high school? Isn't the only benefit of public school that you can show up looking like a bag of shit? I'm not even sure I owned a jacket in high school. Basically every day from October to May was hoodie season. I understand hats and halter tops, those aren't absurd things to ban. You don't want 14 year old girls going around flaunting their stomach, and it's a matter of respect to remove your hat indoors in certain places. I draw the line at skinny jeans and leggings though. Thats's just not good for anyone. As a female what would you even buy? Is there another option for girls other than skinny jeans and yoga pants? I don't think I have seen a female in anything else since the Reagon administration. And for the love of God, school sucks enough, male violence is going to go through the roof if you take away yoga pants. It's like the one glimmer of hope a high school boy has when he wakes up in the morning.
Now to focus on the note the girl is holding above. Jesus Christ that thing is all over the place. My interpretation of that note is that the dress code is the boys' fault, because God forbid male high school students are nothing more than horny teenagers. She wants to be able to dress like a whore because to not do so would promote the 'rape culture'? Can people stop throwing around the term 'rape culture'? Rape culture refers to a "societal norm in which rape is pervasive and normalized". Yeahhhh okayyyy. Rape is just normal now? I don't know what is going on in Staten Island, but rape isn't pervasive where I live or where I grew up.
Sure, younger generations are as overtly sexual as they have ever been. I am shocked when I hear stories of kids losing their virginity at 13 in the school bathroom. Yes, girls are dressing as slutty as ever. Yes, guys are as degrading and disrespectful as ever. I'm not going to debate the cause and effect of those two things, but neither one actually promotes rape. Holy overreaction Batman.
Typical chick reaction. Complaining how this dress code is sexist? Shut the fuck up. That doesn't even make legitimate sense. Dudes can't wear hoodies, or stare at asses in yoga pants all day, they are just as much the victim as you are.
So, the first thing that came to my mind when I saw this was Tammy in the Mighty Ducks doing pirouettes in front of the net until everyone got confused and she ended up scoring. Generally speaking, when actual sports plays bring to mind those of children's sports movies it is not a good thing.
First of all, if you are going to play dead/fake faint/whatever the fuck that was make it a little more believable. Falling down like you are a cartoon character running into a brick wall has a 0% success rate. If the plan of attack is to get their attention bust out a little fake seizure, or maybe fake a heart attack. You're telling me there is nothing else you could have had that guy do? You think college football players are going to lose their train of thought by someone falling down lifeless. These guys go out there and try to take each others' lives on a play by play basis. The last thing on their mind is another player's well being…at least until the play is over. I mean, I had to watch this video 3 times before I even realized what was happening. That's how inconsequential this guy was to the play and everyone else involved in it.
Then again, maybe I didn't notice the guy playing possum, because of how goddamn bad that play call was. Did they even practice that? That pass was about 15 yards short of making any sense at all. Is Arkansas State so bad that they don't know when to call an audible or change up their plan on the fly? Miami was pretty much playing base defense on this play. I realize that Arkansas State has to pull all the tricks out of the book when playing Miami, but Jesus, be a bit more creative.
Seriously, being a kicker sucks. You get like 2-3 chances a game to prove your worth. You are basically expected to make every single kick or else everyone hates you. And last, but not least, you pretty much only play when the game is on the line. Those negatives easily outweigh the positives of being on the football team despite any real athletic talent. Being paid to be a kicker is one thing, doing it for an insignificant college football team like UMass is another.
When something like this happens you just have to hurt for the guy. Don't get me wrong. This celebration is a 15 out of 10 on the hilarious scale. The presence of mind to hug the kicker is uncanny. Also, it's probably the most disrespectful thing you can do on a football field. That kicker just missed an absolute chip shot to tie the game. Easily already contemplating if he is going to bathe with a toaster that night and then this 7 foot monster from the other team comes to give him a hug.
That's what is happening here right? Either the defensive player is 7'3 or UMass has an affirmative action policy for midgets in the athletic program. Just absolutely towering over him. Not that a kicker with average height would have the nuts on him to fight back when being hugged by an absolute behemoth, but definitely not this little guy. He just has to stand there and take the hug like a bitch. It's not like any of the teammates he just let down are going to come to his aid. Meanwhile, you know as this happens he is saying to himself, "No one fucking cares about UMass football, but I'm going to be all over the internet anyway cause of this asshole". How many people would see this missed kick other wise? Just unbelievably, hilariously degrading. Poor guy…
P.S. Does he have to quit the team now? This is the only thing I know about UMass football. Is that their kicker gets hugged after he blows games. It would have to get tiresome to have people bringing it up every single week, no?