BSO- “Things get kind of frustrating. You know what I’m saying?” Sproles said. “You’re standing on the sidelines. It’s kind of frustrating. But what can you do?”
“I’m not really on the field. But I don’t get into that,” Sproles said. “If they’re going to put me on the field, they’re going to put me in. If they’re not, they’re not. You know what I’m saying? If they do put me in, I just try to make the best of it.”
Question. What's the NFL equivalent of a retirement home? Oh, the street? That's fantastic news. Someone pack up CJ Spiller's bags real quick and we can leave on the nearest corner. I don't know if CJ Spiller has forgotten how to play football, or if Sean Payton has forgotten how to successfully utilize a satellite back, but I'm prone to believing in the one that has a far more extensive resume than the other. For that reason CJ Spiller can kicks rocks, and Darren Sproles can come right back on down. Now that I think about it, Sprolesy is the perfect addition to this team. No, not really football wise. In fact, it probably wouldn't make much of a difference at all on the field, but at least I could squint really hard while we were on offense and pretend it was 2011 again. That would provide quite the interruption from sitting naked on the toilet crying while we are on defense. Not sure why I have to be naked, but that seems like the next logical step after giving up 40+ points to Kirk fucking Cousins.
Hey, I just want a reminder of a better day. A better day when Sean Payton's offense wasn't just ranked #1 in the league, but it also passed the eye test of being the best in the league. A day when he would use quick pass catching running backs to give opposing defensive coordinators aneurysms. A day when screen passes were actually effective in New Orleans. Is that too much to ask? Just bring back that shifty, 'Sonic The Hedgehog' looking motherfucker so I don't drowned in my sorrows by week 16. You don't even have to play him, just keep a camera on him at all times so I can continue living in the past, but because the present is starting to resemble 'The Great Depression'.
I Guess We Shouldn't Be Surprised THat Rob Ryan Used A Hurricane Katrina Joke To Describe His Firing
Yahoo- During a segment about Washington, Ryan said the team turned his "bye week into a bye-bye week," referring to the 47-14 loss last Sunday that saw quarterback Kirk Cousins post a perfect passer rating against Ryan's defense, and quipped that New Orleans was so bad this season it is "ranked 33rd in the league and there's only 32 teams."
But then Ryan went where he shouldn't have gone, as you can see in the Vine above, saying "everything in New Orleans is being blamed on me, including [Hurricane] Katrina."
Thank you Rob. No, not for your work, or lack thereof, in New Orleans. Thanks for helping me get over your firing. I got to be honest. I knew it had to happen. I knew Rob Ryan was never going to turn this sieve of a defense around (although at this point I am not sure who could). Still, I was going to miss seeing that hollow legged, gluttonous bastard with his flowing gray locks. During a season that hasn't produced much to watch football wise, it is was always nice to see that friendly, lovable face on the sidelines. Well, Rob Ryan, thanks for demolishing whatever amount of respect that remained for you in New Orleans with one unnecessary, classless comment. Thanks for invoking the use of the most tragic natural disaster the region has ever seen just to get one super uncomfortable laugh. All it took was one or two minutes on network television for you to remind the world that you are better suited for that than coaching an NFL defense.
Hey, this is what you get with the Ryan brothers, right? Coaches that are sometimes more concerned with being entertaining than actually doing their job. I don't have an issue with that. I guess my main problem with this joke is that it's only more untrue than it is unfunny. Don't get me wrong, Rob Ryan was used as a scapegoat. He is receiving a significant portion of the blame for the failures of this team. However, that's the risk you sign up for when you accept a job as a defensive coordinator. When YOUR defense, you know, the one that YOU just described as "ranked 33rd in the league out of 32 teams" stinks that bad you should expect any and all forms of negativity directed your way. Still, I don't think many Saints fans thought that Rob Ryan was the sole problem this team had. In fact, it's insulting to such a loyal fanbase to think that they are naive enough to believe that the New Orleans Saints are a new defensive coordinator away from being successful. Most of us knew that Sean Payton had too much input on defense. Most of us knew that there was a severe talent deficiency on both sides of the ball. That doesn't mean that the person responsible for the worst defense in NFL history should be immune to criticism. For Rob Ryan to say that he is being blamed for EVERYTHING is just downright false, and for him to use a storm that killed thousands of people to garner sympathy is not only senseless, but it's disrespectful. I didn't expect him to shower the organization with praise after being unceremoniously let go, but even Rex stopped short of bringing up 9/11 when the Jets canned his ass.
Some may consider a 1-2 road trip a disappointment considering how well the Devils had played leading up to it. I would not be one of those people. Not only because my expectations coming into the season were so low that one little two game skid feels like one hangover during a month long drinking binge, but also because I don't count games played in Western Canada. No, I am dead serious. I don't even know how teams perform in those conditions. Calgary? Edmonton? Vancouver? I applaud the Devils for even showing up. Playing in Western Canada is like playing in Western Pennsylvania. Ever spent multiple days in the middle-of-nowhere Pennsylvania? Exactly. It's because there's nothing there. Just a barren state of bleakness. I'm surprised the Devils iced a full lineup last night. I would have thought at least two lines would have been held out with clinical depression. For that reason coming away with a win, against the best team, in the most meaningful game, is praiseworthy. If the Devils were going to lose two in a row this season it was going to be in Western Canada, where it's always the dead of winter, and the only thing colder than the weather is the hearts of it's citizens.
The main takeaway from this road trip? The fact that Devils were able to bounce back from what was likely their worst performance of the year in Edmonton. This team has proven that they don't let the results of one game effect their play in another. Going into Vancouver and getting Cory Schneider a much needed win over the team that traded him was exactly the kind of emotional lift the Devils needed coming out of Serbia...I mean Western Canada. Now sure, that win could be placed predominantly on the shoulders of Schneider himself, but the Devils still got timely goal scoring and made huge defensive plays when it mattered. It might not always be pretty with this team, but when you have one of the best goaltenders in the sport, thanks to the ineptitude of the Vancouver Canucks, it doesn't have to be.
It may sound stupid, but this is the kind of shit that gives me a good feeling about this team. The Devils talent level isn't going to leave anyone's jaw dragging on the floor. I don't think you'll find too many people that would argue otherwise. However, a team, in every sense of the word, is greater than the sum of it's parts. Not only has this team shown a proclivity towards playing together of the ice, but they have shown a camaraderie off of it. That's why I don't think this unlikely start to the season is a fluke. These players have bought into a system, and in turn bought into each other.
This is what being a team, a good one anyway, is about. It's about making your goaltender's interview with the media, after returning to the building he used to call home, even more awkward than it needs to be. It's about inside jokes, nicknames, and generally giving your teammates a hard time. Maybe that environment existed the last two years while the Devils were laying on the cold, hard basement floor of the Eastern Conference. Maybe it didn't. We likely will never know since Lou Lamoriello allowed as much internet access amongst the organization as an Amish community. All I know is that these players, the ones who were oft-criticized by pretty much everyone prior to the season, are embracing that doubt. Who knows if they can continue to win at the rate they have been? Who knows if the playoffs are in their future? What we do know is that they believe they can, and that's exponentially more important than the expectations of others. For a franchise that underwent so much turnover it's a minor miracle that chemistry has been the least of their problems. If they can overcome that hurdle then who is to say these ball busting overachievers can't overcome anything that's put in front of them.
Doc Better Start Getting Creative With The Prescriptions, Or This Clippers Team May Die A Painful Death
A lose to the Golden State Warriors, after leading by 23 point earlier in the game, will get the most publicity. That's the game outsiders will, unfortunately, look at as a vintage Clippers collapse. What those people would be failing to see is that that very game was probably the best basketball the Clippers have played all season. The problems with this team run far deeper than the most explosive team in basketball getting 'NBA Jam' hot in the 4th quarter. If you need anymore evidence of that then look no further than demoralizing losses to the struggling Trailblazers and Raptors. The Clippers have no identity, and even worse, it doesn't look like their Head Coach/General Manager has any interest in developing one.
Clippers fans should have seen the early season struggles coming. All things considered, 6-7 isn't a completely tragic onset to a season for a team that underwent nearly 50% roster turnover and has shown the ability to go on a run. What is disconcerting is that Doc Rivers has not only shown an inability to find a successful rotation, but he shown an inability to even try. Lance Stephenson, one of the bigger offseason moves, albeit a risky one, can't buy playing time with all the undeserved money in his bank account. Josh Smith looks so confused and hesitant out on the floor that you would swear he's doing Calculus instead of playing basketball. The only thing backup "point guard" Austin Rivers, also known as 'The Son That Doesn't Shine', is dishing out is a false sense of confidence. The team looks disjointed. The 19 turnovers, that felt like 35, against the Raptors speak to that, and even the numbers don't describe how elementary some of them were.
Doc Rivers needs to get it together. This isn't the same team as last year. There is a whole different set of problems, and he need to stop prescribing the same old aspirin. He made a conscious decision as the General Manager of the Clippers to bring a bunch of new faces. A bunch of new faces that came along with enigmatic personalities. A bunch of new faces that were sure to result in a bunch of brand new headaches. Coaching the team the same way it was coached last year isn't going to work. Most because it's a completely different team, but also because this team, the one that was so adept at limiting the opposition's possessions last year, hasn't out rebounded their opponent in ONE SINGLE GAME this year. Even if this team is losing games there should still be signs of improvement, yet yesterday afternoon was probably the single worst game in the history of the Doc Rivers/Chris Paul era. Something needs to change and fast, because if they keep trending in the wrong direction Doc Rivers has nowhere to look but in the mirror, and if you think he is immune to an impromptu early dismissal you haven't been paying attention to the NBA. Just ask Kevin McHale...
I Appreciate What Blake Griffin Was Trying To Do, But The Clippers And Warriors Are Most Definitely Rivals
Two upper echelon teams. Both calling the state of California home. They hate each other on the floor. They bicker at each other off of it. They have a playoff history. They play early November games that have the distinct feel of games that should be played in June. Sure, one team is better than the other, but the inferior team has been one of the only teams that has constantly given the superior a team a run for it's money. If the Clippers and Warriors aren't rivals then the concept of a rivalry doesn't even exist in the NBA. It doesn't matter that one team has the upper hand. That is true of almost every rivalry. If participants in a rivalry were always even matched then they wouldn't inspire near the amount of hatred between players and fans bases that they do. You can argue whether or not the Warriors were lucky last year (although that only seems like a sillier premise by the day). You can argue whether or not the Clippers pose them a threat in the Western Conference (although that would be a tough sell right about now). You can't argue that the animosity that exists between these two basketball teams is not a rivalry.
I do, however, appreciate what Blake Griffin was trying to do by saying so. This team needs to be motivated somehow. Judging by the results of the next two games the WiFi signal in the Clippers locker room is pretty weak, because that message did not get sent. However, it's pretty obvious it was meant to make it clear to his teammates that they don't yet deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as the Golden State Warriors. While it doesn't mean that the rivalry is dead, the Clippers are nowhere near as good as the Warriors right now. While literally every other team in the league can say the same, it's not something that Clippers thought they would have to say after two early meetings against them. The Clippers organization currently has more question marks than a text convo with a overly obsessive teenage girlfriend, but the one that Blake Griffin chose to answer didn't even need to be asked.
Nate Newton's Ex-Wife Claims The Cowboys Knew he Was Physically Abusing Her And Did Nothing About It
BSO- Dorothy Newton, the ex-wife of former Dallas Cowboys offensive lineman Nate Newton, claimed in an interview with Sports Illustrated on Wednesday that the team allegedly knew that she was being domestically abused during the 1990s, but did not do anything about it.
In the interview with SI, Newton goes into detail about some of the incidents of domestic abuse she claims to have experienced while being married to Nate.
“In the beginning … there was a lot of verbal abuse, and I didn’t recognize it as abuse,” Newton said. She said the verbal abuse shifted to physical violence after Nate’s first Super Bowl victorywhile with the Cowboys.
According to Dorothy, one of her friends eventually told someone within the Dallas franchise about what was going on between her and Nate once the relationship got more violent. Afterward, Dorothy claimed, Nate shot at her and shoved a table into her stomach while she was pregnant.
Um, was Nate Newton an abusive parent? Was Nate Newton's ex-wife seven years old? Were the Dallas Cowboys her first grade teacher? What are we talking about here? I know the NFL logo is a shield, but it's employees do not wear badges. Does she expect us to be surprised that Dallas Cowboys weren't beating down the Newton's door ready to drag their All-Pro offensive lineman down to the police station? I have an idea, and I know it's easy to say 20 some odd years later, but if she had no problem telling her friend, who in turn told the Cowboys, why not just tell someone that can fucking do something about it? Like, oh I don't know, the fucking cops. There seems to be a common theme with all these cases of domestic abuse amongst athletes. People are always looking to the Commissioners and the General Managers to see how they are going to fix the problem. If these women were really worried that much about their safety then how about doing something, or talking to someone, that can ensure their safety? If you are going to blow the whistle anyway then why do it in front of someone that stands to benefit from the person who the whistle is being blown on?
The NFL, and more specifically the NFL franchises, do not care about domestic abuse. They don't care now, and they CERTAINLY didn't care two decades ago. The only reason it gets so much attention now is because the state of the media brings it so much more exposure. A level of exposure that didn't exist in the mid-90's. The suspensions of players like Ray Rice and Greg Hardy weren't made because the NFL takes domestic abuse seriously, they were made to make you think that the NFL takes domestic abuse seriously. Of course players used to get away with domestic abuse. It's not like 2014 was the first time an NFL player ever lay hands on a woman. It was just the first time we saw it broadcast to the world. The NFL is a business. The Dallas Cowboys are a business. There's no moral code they have to uphold unless upholding that moral code means that they maintain their bottomline. It's always been about making money and winning football games, and it wasn't until recently that battered women stood in the way of that. That might not be ethical, but the NFL doesn't have to be ethical. That should be left to the actual judge, jury, and executioner, not the league that tries (and fails) to play those roles from time to time.
A Nurse Basically Tried To Kill A Motorcyclist When He Told Her To Stop Using Her Phone While Driving
Metro- A nurse who hit a motorcyclist with her car after he told her not to use her phone while driving was spared jail today.
Leah Keyworth was driving near her home in Swindon with her young daughter in the back seat when a motorcyclist verbally remonstrated with her for using her phone behind the wheel.
The court heard how Ms Keyworth, 42, then drove her car into the back of the motorcycle, before pushing and slapping the rider and finally throwing his £300 helmet into the road.
Both the helmet and the motorbike were written off during the incident, which Ms Keyworth drove away from without swapping details with the man she hit.
Despite pleading guilty to driving without due care and attention, assault, criminal damage and failing to stop after an accident and failing to report an accident, she managed to avoid jail at the hearing in Manchester and Salford Magistrates’ Court, and was given a 12 week prison sentence, suspended for one year.
Okay, here we go. Messing around on your phone while your driving is stupid, irresponsible, and dangerous. I still do it from time to time, but that doesn't make it right. Does it still count as hypocrisy if I admit it's hypocritical?
Regardless, the last person I want giving me lessons on safety protocol is a goddamn motorcyclist. If this broad didn't knock him off his crotch rocket he probably would burned through the crosswalk, winded his way through standstill traffic, got off on the nearest highway, and obnoxiously revved the speedometer up to 120 MPH just to "feel the wind in his hair". Fuck that guy. You know why he took it upon himself to play police officer and yell at a random motorist? It's pretty obvious it's because he was concerned about his own safety. A level of safety he likely doesn't hold himself to while he's popping the clutch on his Yamaha. The most logical explanation is that this guy crossed the wrong menopausal woman and made her tick when her biological grandfather clock was ready to tock. Still, he's an idiot for telling someone how dangerous driving while texting is then getting in front of the person he knew damn well was driving and texting. Guess what Mr. Citizen's Arrest, you just learned the risks of driving a motorcycle, because the best way not to get pushed and slapped by a stranger is to be within the friendly confines of a car. Now we are all aware of the risks that we take when getting behind the "wheel" of our vehicle of choice.
P.S. The real lesson to be learned here is to keep to yourself while driving, because you just might piss off a mother with her child, and there's nothing an infuriated mom isn't capable of.
Is this Mike Babcock's fault? Is that who I have to blame for this shit? How many times do we have to change the rules, or the entire landscape of the sport, to increase scoring? I won't lie. I love goals. Goals are fun. However, I don't need to see each team score 6 of them a game to enjoy the intricacies of the game. Here's the bottomline. We have been through this crap before. We have gotten rid of two line passes. We have put in ridiculous quadrilaterals to stop goalies from acting as third defenseman. We have placed a strong emphasis on enforcing penalties more strictly, and in doing so have increased the volume of free flowing play. I feel pretty confident in saying that the number of powerplays per game is at an all time high, and the same goes for odd man rushes. I don't necessarily disagree with any of those changes (other than the trapezoid), but it's pretty clear that none of them had anything more than a temporary effect on the amount of scoring in a hockey game.
The fact of the matter is that, unless we plop a fucking soccer net on each end of the rink then the amount of goals being scored in a hockey game is always going to retreat back to it's mean. The coaches will adjust and the players will adjust. And really, even if they didn't, is another half of a goal per game going to get more people to watch the sport? I think we all know the answer to that. If you truly love hockey then you should love a tightly contested 3-2 game just as much as you love a 6-5 shootout. I may be in the minority here, but I enjoy witnessing the golden age of goaltending. My apologies to my forefathers, but watching the goalies of yesteryear incoherently kick at completely savable pucks kind of took away from the mystique of how good professional hockey players actually are. Since when is a great save not equally as entertaining as a beautiful goal? How many times do we have to be put defense and goaltending at a disadvantage before we realize that the players are talented enough to overcome that disadvantage.
Talent is at an all-time high. The game is quicker then it's ever been. Scoring chances are up. Shots are up. I just find it funny that people, seemingly out of nowhere, think that hockey will benefit from a change as drastic as increasing the size of the nets. I don't even consider myself a hockey purist, but I really don't think you have to be to think the something as sacred as the size of the net should stay remain constant. I don't give a fuck if you enjoy the sport or not, but don't ruin it just to increase some stupid stat by a fraction of a percentage point. A stupid stat that doesn't even begin to tell the whole story in regards to the entertainment value of an NHL game. If a change has to be made then reduce the size of the goalie pads. Just don't say I didn't warn you when that only works in the short term, but eventually averages out in the long term. It's just making change for change's sake, and with the game potentially being played at it's highest level ever, I don't understand how or why that's necessary.
Hey, you guys hear about Holly Holm? HUUUUGE clit. Actually not totally convinced it's not a small penis. Would certainly explain the man strength I watched her flash against Ronda Rousey. Steroid use will always be a topic of conversation in combat sports, especially when a dominant fighter gets her face, and pride, demolished in the unlikeliest of outcomes. Still, the vagina don't lie, and that is one....
You know what, I don't have a single problem with Holly Holm taking steroids (yes, I am now convinced that she took steroids based on a couple pictures of her crotch). I have a problem with the people in UFC that aren't taking steroids. There's millions upon millions paying to watch MMA in hopes of seeing two people inflict the maximum amount of bodily harm on each other. As far as I am concerned, Holly Holm is just upholding the terms of her contract, and they are to go out there and try to kill the person in front of her. So what if she has a huge clitoris as a result of it. An unsightly vagina is just the cost you have to pay to be the best. Ronda Rousey should be ashamed of herself. Sacrificing her true potential to maintain the size her reproductive organs is selfish. Can you imagine how much shorter her previous fights would have been if she was packing a racquetball-sized engine under that hood? Hey Ronda, you aren't getting paid millions of dollars to look good naked, you are getting paid millions of dollars to cause people pain, and it's a well known fact that women with huge vaginas punch harder. Holly Holm is to be applauded. She willingly accepted a couple of super awkward future sexual experiences in exchange for a title belt, and that's what I expect out of my female mixed martial artists. It may not take balls to reign supreme in female combat sports, but it certainly takes a significantly sized lady boner.
NY Post- “Once he lost weight, it seemed as though in a short time he had hyper-sexuality,” forensic psychiatrist John Bradford testified for the defense at Fogle’s sentencing Thursday morning in Indianapolis. “There are brain disorders that can be associated with sexual drive.”
Bradford, of the University of Ottawa, testified shortly after Fogle pleaded guilty to child-porn charges.
Fogle — who famously dropped 245 pounds on a diet of turkey and veggie subs — will be sentenced later Thursday.
The psychiatrist said Fogle had “mild or infrequent fantasies about pre-pubertal children,” but the psychiatrist said his diagnosis is “mild pedophilia,” the Indianapolis Star reported.
Asked about Fogle’s sex with 16- and 17-year-old minors, Bradford said, “16- or 17-year-olds are not pre-pubertal children,” the paper reported. “He didn’t have those types of cognitive distortions that you would see in those individuals.”
Bradford said Fogle had fantasies of young girls, age 12 or 13, but his main interest was older minors.
“Looking at all of this, I believe he did suffer from pedophilia, except it didn’t involve acting out with a child. He denies he ever touched a child.”
Riddle me this readers, what came first, the chicken or the egg? Forget the fact that chicken was precooked, bland, and tasteless. Forget the fact that the egg probably traumatized the lives of a bunch of teenage girls. Just answer the question, what came first? You can't, and that is the exact reason why "Subway sandwiches made me molest underage children" is the perfect defense for Jared Fogle. Don't get me wrong, it's not going to work. He's still going to prison for the foreseeable future. However, if you are going to jail anyway, you might as well give the public something to think about as you do. Now, I know that I, personally, would never lay a hand on a child in a sexual manner, but I also know that I wouldn't eat Subway every single meal for years and years on end.
You ever have a really bad meal and have it ruin your entire day? Imagine if you had to do that 3 times a day, 365 times a year, for how ever many years Jared was losing weight. It would ruin your entire life. It would cause you to act irrationally. You certainly wouldn't be the same person you were before doing so. At the very least you would develop a drinking problem just to be able to force yourself to stuff that below average crap down your throat every few hours. I am not saying it would make you fondle kids, but I am not saying it wouldn't either. Let's just take a look at the numbers...
People that have eaten Subway for every meal and became pedophiles- 1
People that have eaten Subway for every meal and not became pedophiles- 0
The proof is in the pudding, and I am not talking about the stuff that Jared used to lure in his prey. Statistically speaking, Jared's defense is completely bulletproof. It's a shutout bitches! Enough shitty lunch meat, stale bread, and compromised vegetables and there is an infinite percent chance you end up becoming a pedophile. You do a juice cleanse for long enough and you became an irritable asshole, and if you do 'The Subway Diet' for long enough you're just one sandwich away from sexual misconduct. Men lie, pedophiles lie, numbers don't.
Let's be honest, this day in age good deeds are few and far between. Most people care far too much about their own lives to insert themselves in the lives of others. That goes for me too. I am not out there grabbing every cat from a tree or escorting every senior citizen across the road. As much as I would love to pay it forward, time is money, and there is never enough in the day to be wasting it on people I don't know. Now, that being said, there are circumstances where if you don't help someone out then it is a reflection on how good, or bad, of a person you are. It may be opening up a door for someone in a wheelchair or picking something up for someone that didn't realize that they dropped it. Those are moments where it is so blatantly obviously that the right thing to do is help out that you would really be an asshole if you didn't.
Putting a hub cap on a random stranger's car may not fall into the "I have to do something here" category, but it's pretty close. Especially when the guy who did it has a full set of the SAME EXACT hubcaps more than likely sitting in his trunk. It's really all about awareness. The chances of this guy noticing that he could potentially help out are so remote that once he did he had no choice but to take action. I am sure he didn't necessarily want to bust out his spare hubcap and pop it on random car, but he felt obligated to. That doesn't mean he doesn't get potential heaven points, and self satisfaction, for doing so, but it does mean that the unlikelihood of the situation kind of forced his hand. The chances of him being able to help were so microscopic that it almost has to be a test. I'm not a religious person, but this has "God works in mysterious ways" written all fucking over it. If you can unload a hubcap, while making someone's car more aesthetically bearable, all while getting yourself closer to an eternal bliss (that may or may not exist), then you have to do it and you might as well throw in a 'Pimp My Ride' reference when you do.
P.S. The dickhead in me thinks this guy should have just put the hubcap on and not left a note. Done the guy a favor, and sent him into a never-ending state of confusion.
Kelly Olynyk Showed Some Love For Dirk Nowitzki After Taking One Of His Patented, One Footed, Fadeaway Jumpers
Source- On Wednesday night, however, Olynyk honored Nowitzki in the most brazen way possible: He attempted to use his signature move against him.
On the final play of the first quarter, Olynyk got Nowitzki isolated at the top of the key following a Boston offensive rebound. As the final seconds ticked off, Olynyk drove hard at the basket with his left hand, then stepped back for a one-foot fadeaway as Nowitzki watched helplessly from his heels.
The shot kicked up off the front of the rim, then rolled off the side at the buzzer. Both Nowitzki and Olynyk smiled and, as the two crossed paths going to their respective benches, Olynyk could be seen saying, "I had to."
After the game, Nowitzki was asked about Olynyk stealing his move.
"That was cold-blooded, but it looked pretty good, and it almost went in. So I was a little fortunate there."
What did Nowitzki say to Olynyk after the play?
"I said, ‘Don’t give me my own move,'" Nowitzki said with a laugh.
Can we all just take a second to recognize how ridiculousness of this exchange? A player was forced into taking a last second, off-balanced bad shot, and he had to pay respects to the player that was guarding him when he did it. Is it possible that we don't give Dirk Nowitzki enough credit? Of the older players still in the NBA, outside of Kobe Bryant who is a shell of his former self, Dirk may be the most legendary. He basically revolutionized the power forward position. The entire concept of the stretch 4 has become such commonplace mainly because of him. So much so, in fact, that I am pretty sure he lays claim to the most patented move in the NBA right now, and it's essentially just an ill advised jump shot. Obviously with Dirk's skill set, and proclivity towards knocking down the mid range jumper, it's never a bad shot, but for literally EVERYONE else in the league that shot choice would leave coaches eyes rolling into the back of their skull. That move has been so clearly copyrighted by Dirk that you can't even use it in his presence without acknowledging him afterwards. That is actually insane. Props to Olynyk for dapping him up and to Dirk for being a good sport about it, but this sequence of events just shows that while we watch Dirk Nowitzki play out his last few years in the NBA, we are witnessing a historically great career come to a close. He will end up being one of those players you tell your kids about, but we likely won't truly realize what he meant to the sport until he's done playing it.
CNN- Isis Books & Gifts in Denver has the misfortune of sharing its name with the terrorist group.
Over the weekend, someone threw a brick through the sign outside the business. It's the fourth time in recent months someone has vandalized the bookstore.
"We're all very heartbroken (about the Paris attacks) so I don't know if somebody walking down the street just saw our name on the sign and kind of lost it for a moment and threw a rock through it," Karen Charboneau-Harrison, the store owner told CNN affiliate KDVR. "Or if it was an ignorant person who actually thought this was a bookstore for terrorists, I don't know."
Isis Books & Gifts takes its name from the Egyptian goddess of childbirth and healing. It's a spiritual store that has been in business 35 years and embraces many faiths.
Oh yeah, no problem. We'll just convince every single American to start referring to a radical terrorist group as something other than what they have been commonly referred to for the last decade. After all, how could anyone continue to successfully run a boutique book shop with an unfortunate name otherwise? Constantly replacing $50 signs every other week? That's simply not fair to any business. Plus, this change sounds totally feasible. I am sure everyone, including the people that are just walking down the street throwing rocks through all things that simply say 'ISIS' will be super receptive. Why wouldn't everyone want to use the more correct term that the terrorists are threatening to cut people's tongues out for uttering? Nothing I want to do more than get under the skin of the morally bankrupt Islamic State.
Hey, I don't want to be too forward, but you could consider changing the name. I know, I know, It's not the best thing for business, but it can't be worse than being recognized for supporting a group of people that literally want to see the world burn. It's not exactly convenient, but neither is worrying about vandalism literally every single day. I can't imagine that a book store named 'ISIS' marked with a foreign illustration is getting too many first time customers, and I am sure the regulars won't refuse to come back if you happen to stop unintentionally affiliating with a bunch of homicidal extremists. If your plan of attack is asking the aggravated, emotional citizens of Denver to use some weird name they have never heard of before then you might as well just try prayer. Just don't do so outside your store or it won't be the only thing getting a brick heaved at it.
Uproxx- While players tried to keep details of the meeting private, two themes emerged, three people told USA TODAY Sports on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the situation. Harden’s play and aloofness have frustrated teammates, and McHale took the brunt of the blame for the team’s play. Practices were not resulting in improved play in games.
Let me ask you a little question, who is the most widely criticized superstar in the NBA? Need a hint? He's kind of chubby. His wife tastes like 'Honey Nut Cheerios'. His name is better suited for an Italian fella in the 80's. Why yes, of course it's Carmelo Anthony. And what, prey tell, makes Melo the target for such a vast amount of negativity? Well, he usually just gets the "you can't win a championship with him" treatment, but in reality the answer is more complex than that. He's a lackadaisical defender. He's not a very good, or willing, passer. He's a low percentage, high volume shooter. He's a ball stopper. Basically he's just an inefficient James Harden. So, vis–à–vis, when James Harden isn't making a majority of the bad shots that he takes he's more or less just Carmelo Anthony, and by all accounts Carmelo Anthony isn't the most attractive option to play alongside.
This is the NBA we are talking about. Quality scorers are at a premium. A lot of inefficiencies and unfavorable character traits can get swept under the rug if you are carrying your load on the offensive end. It's when you are not that your potential 'aloofness' can become a problem in the locker room. It's really just as simple as this. If you don't play defense, don't involve you teammates, take a ton of shots, and make most of them then you are an MVP candidate. If you don't play defense, don't involve your teammates, take a ton of shots, and miss most of them then you are selfish dickhead. If Harden goes out later this week and puts up 30+ points on 55% shooting in a win then he's no longer a problem in the locker room, but until that point comes he's just a selfish dick. A selfish dick that probably had a pretty big hand in unintentionally getting his Head Coach fired.
Okay, let's get the sappy shit out of the way. JPP would barely communicate with the team that employs him until about two weeks ago, so it's pretty cool that he took time out of his day to comfort a young football player that incurred a similar injury. Anytime a professional athlete does something special for a fan, outside the requirements of his job, it is to be commended.
With that said, there is going to come a time in that kid's life when he sits back and says to himself "I am not nearly as stupid as JPP". It's not going to be now. It may not be for a few years. However, at some point, he will realize that a kid losing a couple fingers in a biking accident is an exponentially more acceptable injury than a professional athlete not knowing how to light a firework. As far as celebrity FaceTimes go, he was clearly the choice. The parallels that exist between their wounds are just too obvious to ignore. Still, that doesn't mean that JPP is some sort of great role model. Unless, of course, you want your kid to grow up to be an idiot who puts his livelihood at risk and then hides from his boss when the risk wins handily (zinnnng).
You just know that this kid's father, unless he's most the diehard of Giants fans, was pissed that there wasn't a more honorable athlete that his son could relate to. Just sitting there like "look at this buffoon who cost himself millions just to see some lights explode in the sky". The difference between JPP and this kid is pretty much the difference between someone who breaks their leg playing with friends and someone that breaks their leg jumping off a bridge. It's the same injury, but only one person is really deserving of our sympathies. At the end of day, this kid still got a pretty awesome experience, and more importantly, a reminder that there will always be someone dumber than him. Sometimes that's even more invaluable than having all 20 digits.*
*Not really, I'm just trying to make the kid feel better, alright?
The Mother Of A 9 Year Old Girl Is Upset She Can't Press Charges Against The 8 Year Old That Stabbed Her In The Head
ABC- An east Houston mother is demanding answers after her nine-year-old child was stabbed in the face several times by another student in an after-school program.
"They said I'm tough," said nine-year-old Saniya Jones.
Saniya and her friend started arguing at an after-school program at Pleasantville Elementary. One thing led to another, and an eight-year-old stabbed Saniya multiple times with a pair of children's scissors.
School officials didn't call 911. They called grandma.
"It was like a crime scene," said Saniya's grandmother Faye Dorron. "There wasn't nobody at the front when I got there. I tracked the blood to this back room and that's where I found Naya."
As for the eight-year-old, she has been disciplined at school, but she's too young to legally face criminal charges.
You know, you see the picture above and your first instinct is to say that kids will be kids. That an 8-year old doesn't understand the ramifications of his actions. It's not until you see this picture...
...that you realize that this demon seed needs to be locked up forever. On second thought, the prisons are already overcrowded. Just execute this kid and save the lives he will inevitably take in the future. Eight year old kids that stab their classmates in the head with safety scissors until they are bleeding profusely don't grow up to be productive members of society. In fact, it's more likely they grow up to become unproductive members of ISIS.
I know that anyone under 10 years old can't legally face criminal charges, but please, I beg of you, can we make an exception just this once? If he can't be taken to court then let's just kick him off the side of a mountain and pretend he never existed. Usually I am for the sanctity of life, but this kid is simply not human. We should be counting our blessings that this girl survived and that we caught him before he did any fatal damage. Yet, here we are providing our classrooms as a safe haven for this little bastard to blossom into the serial killer he was born to be? I challenge the ruling on the field. This kid is tossing out red flags left and right. We have to nip this little fucker in the bud before Timothy McVeigh Jr. is blowing up buildings in Oklahoma City. Nothing says "I am eventually going to shoot up a school with my parents poorly hidden hand gun" than invoking serious injury with scissors that are specifically designed so that kids can't harm themselves. Punishing this kid with a timeout and slap on the wrist is like putting a bandaid on a battle scar, and if we aren't going to take action now then we are going to need much bigger bandaids sooner rather than later.
What Alex? You thought there were no risks to being a high flyer? You thought you could just soar above the clouds without consequence. Guess you learned your lesson now, didn't you? When you play above the rim the net might get jealous and bite back.
In all seriousness, I feel bad for the kid. He's probably been dunking a basketball in his sleep since the 8th grade. He's never even had to think about it. All of us athletically uninclined folks out there that have been putting every ounce of focus into trying to touch the rim whenever we get close to a basketball court will never understand that feeling. That feeling of effortless doing something fairly incredible without thinking twice. Well, the true crime here is that Alex Poythress can never do that again either. Oh sure, he'll be able to dunk until he's old and gray, but he won't be able to do so without thinking about the time he almost lost a tooth. You never forget what you were doing in moments where your dental health was jeopardized. I would imagine that small window when you are putting your hand to our mouth to make sure all your teeth are there rivals the feeling of patting down your body after watching a gun get fired in your direction. At the very least it's comparable to the time between stubbing your toe and looking down at your foot to make sure it's not bleeding profusely. Hell, I have had dreams about losing teeth, and spent the entire next day double checking the sturdiness of each and every one of them with my tongue. That shit will scar you for-ev-er. No longer can Alex Poythress go up and throw one down without hesitation, and for someone that has NBA talent (assumption based completely on the team he plays for), that could be of detriment to his career. He should just go ahead and get hypnotized now, because a dunker that has to worry about dunking is not really a dunker at all.
Metro- Do you love to pound green Monster energy drinks with exaggerated manly roars of satisfaction?
Bad news: you’re probably a total bell-end.
Researchers from the University of Akron found that men who just love to chug fizzy energy potions tend to agree with statements which make them total choppers.
The study of 467 adult men between 18 and 62 found that energy drink-chuggers agreed were more likely to agree with statements such as ‘A man should always be the boss,’ and ‘Homosexuals should never marry’.
I guess a study of 467 people isn't exactly the biggest of sample sizes, but not so deep down I think that we all knew this was the case anyway. Chugging is, or should be, reserved for very few occasions. Basically those occasions include college, college-like environments (i.e. tailgating), and when you are in a rush. Those are really the only times it's acceptable to drink things as fast as you possibly can. Any other situation and you are essentially just trying to assert dominance over someone in the lamest of ways. This study makes total sense. If you think you are better than someone because you can drink something faster than them, never mind something as stupid as an energy drink, then you are basically the 2015 version of a caveman. I would expect someone like that to be part of the 'He-Man, Woman Haters Club'. I would expect him to think gay people should be lonely forever. I would only be half surprised if the person slamming a 20 ounce 'Monster' then crushing the can on his head didn't know the world was round. They don't live on the same planet as us, which is ironic, because I don't think that 62 year old men that down ginseng on the reg and partake in ridiculous street-side studies do either.
P.S. I can still chug a beer with the best of them. As long as it's in a can that's totally not douchy.
The Hockey Writer's- What it’s about is their watchability. If you’re flipping through Gamecenter on a busy night trying to find a game to watch, if you’re not a Devils fan, you’re probably not tuning into a Devils game.
While the majority of hockey fans can enjoy a low-scoring game, this kind of game is a different beast, though it doesn’t mean by any stretch that the team is terrible. They’ve suppressed shots at an incredible rate over the last eight seasons.
They have also posted a +99 goal differential, which is the 14th best mark in the league over that stretch.
High event hockey may be exciting, but it doesn’t make the team great. As we said in the Devin example, the team with the most shot attempts in that time is the Toronto Maple Leafs.
As much as we’d all love to go the easy route a blame Jacques Lemaire, blame the trap, find something to blame, they’re a team with an identity that has worked very well for them. And it’s worked across quite a few coaches with Brent Sutter, Lemaire, John MacLean, Lemaire (again), Pete DeBoer, a combo of Scott Stevens and Adam Oates and then John Hynes.
The common thread was largely Lou Lamoriello, but the team has maintained that identity under new GM Ray Shero. Is that the result of the roster he was left with from Lamoriello? Maybe.
It’s a style that works for them, but few teams have such a strong identity and while it can win games, it’s a boring affair.
Good news Devils fans, absolutely nothing has actually changed since 1995. I mean, the players have. The coaches have. Even the fucking Owner and General Manager have. Still, by all accounts from 'The Hockey Regurgitators' this is still the exact same team it was TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. Different strategy, different style, same old Devils. I think we should be thankful. If that is indeed true then I am pretty sure we are Stanley Cup contenders? Didn't see that coming this year, but I will gladly take the designation. Sucks for the Buffalo Bills, but I'm sure the Dallas Cowboys will be glad to hear it. Someone should let the Chicago Bulls know that everything that happened two decades ago is completely indicative of what you see today. I thought we had to wait awhile for history to repeat itself, but apparently it is just on an annual loop. Ignore what you see on the ice. The Devils are still the team that revolutionized defense and used a high scoring offense to win FARRRRR too much for the liking of a bunch of uninformed assholes on a website no one gives a fuck about.
I understand that after the last two years it's easy to call the Devils boring. Even I can definitely say they were boring. Not because of how they played the game, but because their roster was completely void of talent. This year's team? The one that is actually scoring? The one that is predicated on speed, solid defense, and otherworldly goaltending? We are going to say this team compares, even slightly, to that team? The 2012 Stanley Cup team? The one that was led by Zach Parise and Ilya Kovalchuk, two of top ten players in the league at the time? That team was the same as a team whose leading scorer was the corpse of Scott Gomez? The cup winning teams that featured the likes of 'Hall Of Fame' players Scott Stevens, Scott Niedermayer, Patrik Elias, and Martin Brodeur? Those teams were all similar to the gigantic pile of shit the Devils iced the last two years? I understand if uninvested fans don't want to watch Devils hockey. Recently, with the exception of the last 20 games, that has been difficult for even the most diehard of Devils fans. However, saying that nothing has changed about this team since 19-fucking-95 is just proof that someone that takes time out of his day to write about the sport doesn't even watch it. That's fine, maybe we are too boring for him, but it's probably just that he is too lazy to tune in and find out.
So Dustin Nelson, take your biased statistics and shove them up your ass. Saying that the Devils will always be synonymous with boredom is like saying that your mother will always be the whore she was when she was sucking the cock of every Tom, Dick, and Harry in the schoolyard before she shat your useless ass out into the world.