Anyone that has watched the Saints defense over the last year and half knows it's failures weren't completely predicated upon poor coaching. After all, Rob Ryan, the guy that just got axed for leading quite possibly the worst defense in NFL history, is the same guy that coached the same team's top 5 defense no more than two years. Coaching is a funny profession. It's a profession in which the employee is judged on the work of others. That's not to say that there is no difference between good defensive coordinators and bad defensive coordinators. There absolutely is. However, it's not a coincidence that the "good" ones always have players that are reliable, and the "bad" ones have players that are typically capricious.
Was Rob Ryan's scheme too complicated? Probably. Did he put players in the best possible position to succeed? Probably not. Still, despite all the questionable coverages and ill timed blitzes, this defense failed because it's players failed too. Rob Ryan wasn't the one handing the opposition five first downs by penalty per game (HI BROWNER). Rob Ryan wasn't the one failing to get to the quarterback. He wasn't the one misdiagnosing plays or missing tackles. Unfortunately, that's just an occupational hazard in his line of work. A coach is only as good as the players he counts on. There is no doubt that Rob Ryan needed to lose his job, and his track record shows that maybe he's just not that good at it. Be that as it may, it's still nice to see a player stand up (or the online version of standing up) and take responsibility for the role that he and his teammates had in that firing. This defense stinks to the highest of heavens, and it's not solely the fault of the man that designated to clean the shit up.
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Bristol Post- A blind girl has been banned from bringing her walking cane to school for "health and safety" reasons. Lily-Grace Hooper, who is seven, suffered a stroke when she was just four days old, which left her virtually blind. But her school, Hambrook Primary School, has now told the youngster she can no longer use her walking cane, because it could trip up teachers and other pupils at the school. A risk assessment by Gary Learmonth from Sensory Support Service – done on behalf of the school – said the cane caused a high risk to other people around Lily-Grace, and that she should instead have full adult support "100 per cent" at all times. But her furious mother, Kristy, is worried her daughter will become to dependent on having someone show her around, and said having a helper following her around will set her daughter apart from the rest of the pupils. Ladies and gentleman, I regret to inform you that, against the wishes of Robert Downey Jr. in blackface, the world has officially gone 'full retard'. We have pussified society so much that there is no more concern left for the people that actually need it. Treating average, able bodied human beings like idiots has inserted uncertainty into a very delicate dichotomy. We used to treat full functioning people like they were fully functioning people, and handicapped people like they were handicapped people. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way we started pushing healthy, fortunate people into the handicapped category and actual handicapped people were in turn pushed out into the street without their walking stick. We started to lean too hard in the wrong direction and we went ahead and flipped the whole fucking kayak upside down. Now the whole world is just drowning in it's own stupidity. There is too many people in society to worry about everyone, yet somewhere along the line we decided that everyone was deserving of concern. For some reason, in doing so, we started rationing it at the top of the food chain. We are now serving seconds to the people that just ate, while the less fortunate are starving for our attention. The self-reliant blind girl that just wants to be granted the ability to get around school grounds on her own accord? Fuck that bitch. We can't risk Little Billy's self diagnosed ADHD kicking in while he's walking down the hall. He might trip and scrap his knee, and these kid gloves we are treating our youth with aren't meant to clean up blood. Up is down. Left is right. Black people are wearing skinny jeans. White women are winning Hip Hop Awards. I guess it's only makes sense that the most disabled people have a full mental capacity and complete use of their limbs, because the world has officially gone full retard, and everyone knows you never go full retard... BigStory- A state disciplinary panel filed civil administrative charges against an Arkansas judge Tuesday, alleging he carried on inappropriate sexual relationships with defendants.
The Arkansas Judicial Discipline and Disability Commission lodged the charges against 69-year-old Cross County District Court Judge Joe Boeckmann. If the charges are substantiated, the commission could recommend that the Arkansas Supreme Court remove him from his part-time judicial position in Wynne. David Sachar, executive director of the commission, said the original complaint lodged against the judge was filed by an investigator at the Department of Human Services' Adult Protective Services division. That complaint alleges the judge inappropriately handled at least one case involving the sister of a man with whom the judge had a long-term intimate relationship. Several defendants alleged Boeckmann took pictures of their buttocks as they bent over to pick up cans. Another defendant alleged he entered into an agreement to allow Boeckmann to spank him in exchange for reduction in his fines, and another alleged he agreed to pose naked for photos in exchange for cash. At least one defendant alleged he entered into a long-term sexual relationship with the judge that included living at his home and the judge buying him two cars and a boat, according to the complaint. A tale as old as sexual misconduct itself. A person of authority using that power to satisfy their animalistic needs. Can't we just appreciate the man's work? It's pretty much the most fool proof way of use your status to get what you want out of people. Think about it. Most of the time it's a boss using job security to get what they want from their employees. Sometimes it's a teacher using grades to get what they want from their student (or at least that's how every porn set in a classroom tells it). You know where those people go when they get caught? Yup, that's right. To sit in front of a judge. Just because it doesn't fit my moral code doesn't mean I can't respect a man for going all-in with the ultimate bargaining chip. You really want to prosecute someone that has your freedom in his hands? It's not right for people to extort sexual favors, but some ways of doing it are certainly more effective than others. The most effective way being the person that hands out punishments for the very same extortion. That's not to say that a judge is immune to the law, as this Arkansas man proved, but it is too say that the people leveeing those accusations better be pretty damn sure they hold merit before they do so. You know why I can't take this seriously? Because if you read closely, every last person that this judge used for sexual gratification was male. This guy was gayer than every single person I called gay in High School. Everyone knows you can't bang the proverbial gavel when the victim is a man. That's why man rape is funny. That's why there's a 'drop the soap' joke every time someone mentions prison. Gay, straight, or otherwise, if men let themselves get coerced, physically or emotionally, then the only real victim is their pride. I firmly believe that homosexuals are equal, but that doesn't mean they are immune to the same gender roles as heterosexuals. Gender roles that state that sexual harassment is only taken seriously when the person on the receiving end has a vagina. Plus, all things considered, I would rather be a free man that got spanked by a judge than an inmate that got ass raped by a 3-time felon. It's all a matter of perspective. TheDreamShake- The Rockets got together for a players only pow-wow today in an effort to build communication and chemistry, as reported by Calvin Watkins at ESPN.
After their fourth consecutive lopsided defeat, it was newcomer Ty Lawson who pushed for and got the meeting, as he told Watkins: "We brought everything up in the meeting. Everything turned out well. We got open feelings and communication. I feel like we're on the same page now." The Rockets obviously have not all been on the same page, but it sounds like there may have been some behind-the-scenes things going on as well which may have been contributing to the obvious lack of on-court chemistry, though the comments are certainly open for interpretation. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. From the Western Conference finals, to the top of preseason power rankings, to fired Head Coaches and Players-Only meetings. I guess now we know why Kevin McHale wasn't invited. Poor guy was too busy packing his belongings. Shouldn't even have been called a Players-Only meeting, they should have just called it a 'Gainfully Employed-Only' meeting. Either way, this is not good news for the Rockets. Ty Lawson knows what a dysfunctional team looks like. So much so, as a matter of fact, that he's calling his own meetings when he's only been playing meaningful basketball as a member of the Rockets for like two weeks. That's like a new hire calling a company-wide conference before he even gets his first paycheck. Except in this case that new hire is basically someone who is working from a first floor cubicle. Look at who we are talking about. Ty Lawson, the player who was allegedly drunk at practice no more than a year ago. The guy that has had new life breathed into his career. A guy that has been given a second chance to prove that he can overcome his demons.That's the self proclaimed leader of the Houston Rockets. The guy who is a couple of months removed from being too much a problem for the Denver Nuggets. This meeting reeks of desperation. Not because of the state of the franchise, but because of who called it. In volatile situations Ty Lawson's natural instinct is to turn to the bottom of the bottle for help, and nothing screams "trouble" like a brand new trade acquisition gathering the troops. When Ty Lawson gets fed up he tends to drink himself down. This ship (no pun) better get righted quickly or the apparent driver might get pulled over for a DUI.
If you want my take on Barack Obama's use of the phrase "pop off" during a press conferencehere it is, but for now let's get to more pressing issues...
This song is a JAM. POTUS on the beat baby! The production might start off a little nursery rhymey but hey, no first draft is without need of some tweaks. The important part is that you can't not start nodding your head once the beat drops. Call up Yeezy, how can he turn down an opportunity to hop on a Presidential track and put on for his city? Drake will jump on anything these days. Get that racially ambiguous Canadian Jew over here and let's keep things real diverse. Get Bill Clinton on the bridge to maintain the political integrity of the song, and BANG, top 40 here we come! Oval Office Records bitches, throw the diamonds up, it's BA-RACK!!!
Ridiculous. Ridiculous, I tell you. We claim we are so concerned about equality while we let the NFL get away with banishing one man for domestic abuse and employing another that is guilty of the very same thing. Of course the white man that laid his hands on a woman can still get a job. Just another sign of the racism that continues to exist in this country. When will these blatant acts of discrimination in the workplace end? Wait, what's that you say? They are both black? Oh, my bad guys, must have taken a sip of Al's overly sweetened Kool-Aid there for a second.
Hey Al, what the fuck are you talking about man? Maybe go a day without crying about double standards and the phrase won't just dribble out of your mouth during very single conversation you have. Have a meaningful discussion that's not race related for once in your life and you won't be applying non-applicable prejudicial strategies that aren't even moderately close to existing in this situation. There is only one double standard that is keeping Ray Rice out of the NFL and Greg Hardy in the NFL. It's the same double standard that keeps me out of the NFL and Drew Brees in the NFL. One is really good at football, and one is not as good at football. They both served their suspensions, although it's debatable whether or not they were harsh enough, and they both are able to be signed by NFL teams. Ray Rice isn't being held back by anything but his talent. Talent that would have to be far less excessive if he wasn't caught on video punching his future wife. Greg Hardy isn't in the NFL because he's a middling pass rusher. He's in the league because, unfortunately, he's one of the best the NFL has to offer. If Ray Rice could say the same then we likely aren't talking about Al Sharpton's frivolous utterance of the term "double standard". MCall- According to a 2013 criminal complaint, a state trooper stopped the Mercedes' driver, 26-year-old Annadel Cruz of New York, on westbound I-78 near the Cedar Crest Boulevard exit because she was approaching 60 mph in a 55 mph zone and was riding a traffic line for about a half-mile.
When questioned, Cruz told the trooper the car was a rental and they were driving from New York to Florida. The trooper told her he smelled marijuana and she said she had smoked earlier in the day, but not in the car. She gave police permission to search the car. According to the police report, Bernstein told police he had a bag in the trunk and gave police permission to search it. In the bag, the trooper found two brick-size packages, which were covered in clear plastic wrap and red tape. Cruz told police the packages contained soap she had made for her sister in Florida, but a field test showed that the substance was cocaine. The packages weighed 5.2 pounds. Police said they also found a small amount of marijuana in Cruz's bra. The couple were charged with possession with intent to deliver cocaine, possession of cocaine, conspiracy and possession of drug paraphernalia. Cruz also was charged with possession of a small amount of marijuana, disregarding traffic lanes and speeding. In the lawsuit, Bernstein claims he pretended to be asleep at the barracks after he was arrested, and overhead troopers discussing the field test. One trooper said the package tested negative for cocaine, the suit states. "Well … make it positive," another trooper replied, according to the suit. I don't often find myself siding with law enforcement. Especially law enforcement that conspires to put 26 year olds, that had a little pot in their bra and were driving merely 5 MPH over the speed limit, behind bars. With that said, I am standing up for the boys in blue on this one. Sure, it's fucked up to fake a false positive on a narcotics field test. However, it's nowhere near as fucked up as a person that is driving through rural Pennsylvania with a bunch of homemade soap that's cut and packaged EXACTLY like cocaine in their car. That person deserves to go to prison whether they were possessing illegal drugs or not. As a matter of fact, they should go grab the sister too for using soap that someone made for her. People with the time and patience to make soap aren't to be trusted and neither are the people that willingly test out their product. They all belong in prison. Even if they didn't do anything that was worthy of hard time, if given enough freedom they inevitably will. I can't think of too many things that I would want to do less than go about manufacturing my own grooming products. I'm pretty sure that's the last legal step before you are out killing animals (or people) with your bare hands. Give a man a bar of soap and he'll clean himself for a month. Teach him how to make soap and he'll be bored enough to do a bunch of psychedelics and go on a murder spree in an hour. I know cops are getting a bad rap these days, but their job is already hard enough without having to distinguish cocaine from soap wearing a cocaine costume. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck then the people who are looking out for the safety of the public shouldn't have to take time out of their day to give a duck test. The Hill- Anonymous is in the middle of a cyber campaign to uncover and shut down ISIS-affiliated websites and social media accounts. On Tuesday, the team orchestrating the attacks, OpParis, said it had already claimed 5,500 Twitter accounts.
ISIS warned its followers not to respond to direct messages on Twitter from people they don’t know. It also told them to avoid conversations with unknown people on Telegram, “cause there are many glitches in telegram and they can hack you by it.” The list also warned ISIS members to avoid using the same name for their email and Twitter handle. “This mistake cost many,” it cautioned. The release also mocked Anonymous, calling the group “idiots” and questioning the anarchist collective’s ability to achieve anything tangible with its cyber crusade. “All what they can do” is hack Twitter accounts and emails, the message said. Well shit, I didn't see this coming, nor do I want to admit it, but ISIS kind of has a point, no? I mean, I'm not betting for this very reason, but smart money has to be on the actual terrorist organization and not the online terrorist organization, right? Kind of feels like David Vs. Goliath if David was using cheat codes and Goliath was using weapons of mass destruction. Not that 'Anonymous' is a group of idiots, because I certainly don't know how to break into computer mainframes, but what exactly are they going to hack? If 'Anonymous' just up and decided to come after me I would be pissing myself, but I am just a guy with a website that tries to make a few jokes on the internet. I can't imagine a group of violent radicals that are literally trying to take over the world are too concerned with their online personas. I don't think the people that are willing to strap explosives to their chests and die for their cause are checking their Twitter feed before they arm themselves. I could be wrong, but terrorists don't seem like the type to be frantically checking their email 15 times a day. Taking away the ability to use the internet is a tragedy for us, but it's pretty much just a minor inconvenience to them. I'm pretty confident that the day to day responsibilities of members of ISIS don't require a strong WiFi signal. Am I wrong for thinking of this as the best 'Call Of Duty' players in the world going to battle against actual war veterans? As "real" as the internet seems it's still just a virtual, sometimes fraudulent, manifestation of what's going on in the world. Those 'Call Of Duty' players might outsmart their real world counterparts, but only one party knows how to pull a trigger. I think to get a grasp of this you just have to look at the best case scenarios. If 'Anonymous' wins then ISIS can't keep up with the latest hashtags. If ISIS wins we are all fucking dead. 'Anonymous' winning seems like more of a moral victory than anything else. It's like if you broke up with your girlfriend and she posted a bunch of shit on social media to make you look bad and her look good. 'Anonymous' is the ex-girlfriend that the public views as the winner because they see it on a computer screen. Which I guess would make ISIS the ex-girlfirend that turns around and fucks every single dude in sight. That's not to say that I don't appreciate 'Anonymous' efforts. I just don't think they can have a tangible impact on a very real, very dangerous terrorist group that's out to take our actual lives, and not some online depiction of them.
It was nine long years ago that JJ Redick was graduating Duke. A small framed white boy with an impeccable shooting stroke. One of the most hatable players, outside of Cameron Indoor of course, that the world had ever known. As was the case with many players who had passed through those hallowed halls, if you didn't love Duke then you despised JJ Redick. That's why it was so refreshing to see him struggle like players of his stature, style of play, and skin color had done so many times before. He was a mere bench player those first few seasons in Orlando. A player that looked like he would be extremely lucky to maintain a lengthy, successful NBA career. That is, until the unthinkable happened...
News broke that JJ Redick, the smug little white boy from the most nauseating of Universities, had an abortion contract with his girlfriend. Doesn't seem like the most praiseworthy of times to sign off on, but somehow it made him more relatable. Against all odds, it actually made him more likable. He gained respect not only throughout the league, but amongst NBA fans as well. His numbers peaked. His minutes went up. His haircut became a little more edgy. He found a new home in Los Angeles as a centerpiece to a soon to be championship contending team. JJ Redick was once again the confident, even cocky, shooter that had once brought us so much anger, but he was actually enjoyable to watch now. That abortion contract somehow made him seem like less of a preppy frat bro, and more of bad ass. This new tat that has mysteriously appeared covering the entirety of his upper left arm? It can only add to the aura and the attitude that turned JJ Redick from the Orlando Magic's ball boy to the Los Angeles Clippers third best scoring option. Honestly, I'm not totally convinced that it's not the sole reason he sat out the last two games. Sometimes you have to do what's best for the team, and JJ's increased sense of swag can only help the Clippers long term. Floyd Mayweather Extends Ronda Rousey's Losing Streak By Successfully Taking The High Road11/17/2015 YardBarker- “I don’t think it’s cool how everyone is trolling her on social media,” Mayweather said. “Certain things you have to learn. People will love you on Friday and then Sunday morning, it’s nothing but negative comments and people making jokes and people making fun about you, which I don’t think is cool.”
“I’ve never been on the other side, so I don’t know how it feels,” Mayweather said. “I’m pretty sure she’s a very, very strong person, but we still have to take into consideration that she has feelings. “Everything happens for a reason. This was already written. Listen, if God says, ‘In Floyd’s career, I don’t want him to lose,’ you know what? I wasn’t going to lose. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t took a loss before. I’m not talking about boxing; I’m just talking about life. When you lose a loved one, that’s taking a loss. I think that everything is just a learning experience. In due time, she’ll be able to bounce back and make some noise again in mixed martial arts." “I haven’t really spoke to anyone about the Ronda Rousey situation, just to set the record straight. I don’t have anything against MMA fighters. It’s just like boxing; you win some, you lose some. A true champion can take a loss and bounce back.” Someone do me a favor and check Rousey's pulse, because Floyd Mayweather successfully making her look like the bad guy is something I am not sure that an ailing body can take. Make no mistake, If Mayweather got knocked out you wouldn't hear the end of it from Rousey. She would be clammering on about how "now Floyd knows how it feels to get beat", or some other such shit. Making a complete spectacle of herself in light of another person's defeat. Rubbing his proverbial face in the dirt while his career was at his lowest, relatively speaking of course. Well, not Mayweather. He's...he's...he's sympathetic? Did Floyd Mayweather, the man that has multiple domestic abuse charges, just obtain a moral victory over a woman? Did the most superficial, self centered athlete in all of sports just manage to make himself look like a merciful, compassionate person? Say it ain't so, say it ain't so, don't tell me that Floyd Mayweather has actually become a rational, caring human being. Pray for Ronda Rousey. Not only because she got her brains bashed in and her head kicked sideways, but because the most petty of individuals has managed to make her look petty in comparison. Sticking up for her and calling her a "true champion"? Who knew that you could actually buy feelings? I don't like it, I don't like it one bit. In being a standup guy he has made Ronda Rousey look worse than she did when she was laying battered and beaten in the middle of the octagon. No one deserves to suffer through that level of physical and emotional trauma at the same time. Floyd bypassed the opportunity to sling mud and instead chose to shower praise. Praise that must feel a little something like acid rain right about now. Someone stay by her bedside, because Floyd Mayweather is literally trying to kill Ronda Rousey with kindness.
— Tony Romo (@tonyromo) November 17, 2015
A lot of people will say that this is jumping the gun. That Tony Romo should worry about getting under center for the first time in months before he worries about the Cowboys making the Super Bowl. That a 2-7 team winning a championship is unheard of. That he should concern himself with winning one game at a time. All of those points would be valid concerns. However, not only do I stand by Tony Romo's use of a 'Major League' reference, but I think its's the most fitting clip he could have possibly posted. No, I don't think Dallas is winning seven straight ages to get to 9-7. I don't think they are winning their division. I don't think there is even a minute possibility that they could get to the playoffs, never mind do any damage if they do miraculously get there. That's my entire point.
Know what else was unlikely? A man nearly turning down an offer to manage in the Majors in favor of doing construction. A crippled catcher becoming a viable coaching option halfway through the season. A pitcher from the California Penal League that walks the bases loaded on 12 straight pitches becoming virtually unhittable. A Jamaican dude that worships a doll named Joboo and can't hit a curveball becoming a dominant slugger. An owner of a baseball team doubling as a third basemen. A guy who nicknamed himself after a Hall Of Famer and showed up uninvited to training camp becoming the best base runner in the league. A Japanese player that has a proclivity towards knocking himself unconscious becoming a formidable defensive outfielder. Starting to catch my drift? The Cowboys winning the Super Bowl is such a goddamn ridiculous proposition that to come to fruition it would have it have to scripted in some parody of the sport. The Cleveland Indians winning the Pennant with a bunch of no-name scrubs that have never played professional baseball before is equally as likely as Tony Romo and his 2-7 Cowboys winning the Super Bowl. So if they aren't going to back up the trucks and turn Jerry's World into a parking lot, then they might as well embrace whatever semblance of chance that they have left this season. Even if there odds are literally too big to be shown anywhere but the big screen. CBS- For the first time ever, a boy has been cast in a Barbie commercial.
The ad features a cute blond boy sporting a Mohawk, playing with a Moschino Barbie doll with a group of girls. “Moschino Barbie is so fierce!” he says, before putting a bejeweled purse on his doll’s shoulder. “It’s for you Moschino Barbie,” he says, and ends the ad with a wink while the camera lingers on his bright-eyed face in a close-up shot. The ad is apt to fuel the fight for gender neutrality when it comes to toys and toy shopping. Okay, let's clear one thing up. This commercial may have promoted gender neutrality, but it certainly didn't promote sexual preference neutrality, because that little boy is gay as shit. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but if that kid doesn't grow up to suck dick then he will never have an issue getting a job, because he's already the best heterosexual gay actor in the business. The gelled mohawk? The use of the word "fierce"? Holding a mini Barbie handbag between his index finger and his thumb with all of his other fingers out? The wink? I don't even care if all that was in the script, because that kid just made the role his own. That was the best gay performance since whatever Sean Hayes acted in last. I am not going to declare that a pre-pubescent kid is homosexual, but his parents should probably urge him to be. Sounds intrusive, but if they don't get him some rainbow sheets and remove his closet door then they are basically the parents that don't sign their 6'3 son up for youth basketball. He just fits the mold far too well. And what, prey tell, kind of message does this send to young straight boys that want to play with Barbies? I am not saying there are a lot of those out there, but the ones that are certainly aren't going to feel more comfortable after seeing this. Isn't implying that you have to super feminine to play with Barbies just as bad as implying that you have to be female? Basically all this ad told me was that you shouldn't play with Barbies unless you're a huge fan on accessorizing and you talk with a super obnoxious intonation. Isn't that like only marketing footballs to boys and girls that wear baggy clothing? I thought "gender neutrality" was about making sure every kid felt comfortable being himself/herself, but if it's really just about accepting homosexuals that aren't old enough to know they are homosexuals then that's fine too. I would just like to know for future reference.
Ways To Avoid Unbiased Reporting From The Local Media:
- Don't be by far the worst player on the worst defense in history. - Don't draw 6 flags a game for the same fucking thing. - Don't be caught multiple times on video flat out giving up on plays. - Don't threaten physical violence on beat reporters when they ask your teammate a completely legitimate question. - Don't go on completely contradictory rants on social media literally every time someone isn't lobbing you cupcake questions after a pitiful performance. Seriously, if Brandon Browner cut down on even two of those things I could only imagine he would have a much better relationship with those whose job it is to report on him. Especially if one of his choices was not attempting to assault a guy for asking someone else a question that needed to be asked. Does Lyons Yellin have a bone to pick with Brandon Browner? Yeah, of course he does. He probably should. If someone two times the size of you was berating you for simply doing your job then I would imagine you would hold a grudge too. Brandon Browner has done NOTHING, either on the field or off the field, in New Orleans to show that he deserves the benefit of the doubt. If you want to say that Lyons Yellin shouldn't be taking a picture of him walking to his car then fine, but he's not the only player it happened to, yet he is the only one going on arrogant rants on Twitter about it. If I knew this is what we signed up for then I would have encouraged the Saints to keep Junior Galette instead. Same lack of leadership despite being a defensive captain. Same big mouth. Sure, Galette was worse off the field, but at least he made a fucking play or two on it. Here's a little advice Brandon, shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. Your play has been speaking volumes, and not in a good way. The last thing we need to hear is more from you. Especially when your initial reaction is to lash out instead of accepting responsibility for the complete lack of effort you have shown on the football field this season. If you are going to remind us how much you suck on the internet then at least make a modicum of sense while you do it. Saying "there's no I in team" and "I got mines" in the same 140 character blurb shows an astounding lack of knowledge of the English language. Can you believe it guys? Brandon Browner didn't know who the guy that covers New Orleans sports was until he was playing in New Orleans. BURN! Talking shit to the local media about previous championships shows an utter lack of comprehension in regards to how beat reporters work. Hey Brandon, the Saints didn't pay you for what you did for other teams, they paid you for what you could do for them. Lyons Yellin doesn't give a fuck if you have 31 consecutive Super Bowls if none of them were for the New Orleans Saints. His job is to cover THIS team, and your job is to cover FOR THIS team. One of you is actually earning your paycheck. Care to take a guess which one of you it is? Need a hint...
Call the fire department! Paul Brown Stadium is one burn away from a fire alarm blaze! Sweet God, that had to be the most caucasian example of verbal jousting these ears have ever heard. Jousting is probably an exaggeration because it was pretty much just two grown men poking each other in the upper breast with their index fingers, but it was super white nonetheless. JJ Watt, the world's most insufferable athlete, using a clearly orchestrated Dad joke, only to find himself topped in absurdity by Andy Dalton's attempt to take the moral high ground in response.
I have never felt any type of way about Andy Dalton, but he is officially on my shit list. Not because I have anything against him or the Bengals, but because he's making me take JJ Watt's side. This is what JJ Watt is supposed to do. He's supposed to try nauseatingly hard to get a laugh with a joke that he probably had written on his wrist. He's supposed to be super proud of his sense of humor after hitting the opposing quarterback with a 'Christmas Story' zinger. Andy Dalton isn't supposed to give his best rendition of a 65 year old Republican as a retort. What about the children? Really? THAT'S the route the Red Rifle choose in "firing" back at him? "Oh no, what about the children that will hear this joke that stems from a movie they have probably never even watched in it's entirety? The poor kids! They'll shoot their eye out!". The integrity of the game? Are we still talking about a 'PG' movie reference? Did I miss some extremely offensive part of this interview? Where am I? Is this still an NFL postgame press conference? I feel like this is an exchange that takes place at an All-Gay Teenage Dance Academy, not between professional athletes that are paid handsomely to play the most violent of sports. Just a little heads up Andy, but you can't come out with your hair slicked back, in a ridiculous leather jacket, with what looks to be dog tags around your neck, and go full-emo on us. You can't dress up like the soulless Fonz from the twilight zone version of 'Happy Days' and make JJ Watt, a person that spends 23 hours a day engineering new ways for him to come off as the nice guy, look like a bad ass in comparison. You can't take the hide road on a player that has pretty much already paved his way to heaven one "candid" camera shot at a time. You had it served to you on a platter. All you had to do was call JJ Watt an insecure loser and you would have won over the masses. Now the masses are just sitting here confused as to who is the more cringeworthy white dude, and as much as it pains me to say this, if we are basing it solely off last night then the answer is you.
Source- President Barack Obama is sending a message to critics he says "pop off" with their opinions about the U.S. campaign against the Islamic State.
He says they should present a specific plan. And if his critics think their advisers are smarter than Obama's, the president says, "I want to meet them." Terrorism is no laughing matter. I think we can all agree there. However, can we just agree to look past what this press conference is regarding and embrace the fact that President Obama just used "Folks that want to pop off..." in a completely genuine tone in a completely serious setting. If that doesn't make you smile during this tragic time then you are probably one of the lunatics on my always rational FaceBook feed. You know, the people that believe that Barack Obama was somehow responsible for a terrorist attack that took the lives of 150 innocent victims overseas. Either way, this comment from the POTUS did those agenda pushing whack jobs a favor too. It reminded them that not only is Barack Obama just another democratic President that they blindly hate, but he's a black democratic President that they blindly hate. How's that dose of reality taste?. Does it hurt to be reminded of your subtly racist ways? Scapegoat the President if you want, but always remember that he's the first of his kind. It's easier for some of us, that don't have confederate flags hanging from our porch, to forget that. Sometimes you just need a black person of power to say "pop off" and emphasize how far race relations have come. It seems like every week we have a new story revolving around the racial unrest in this country. Well, guess what everybody, we still have a black president and that has to count for something. Sure, there are people that make him the whipping boy (because they likely supported slavery at one point) for anything and everything simply because they don't like the amount of melanin in his skin, but hey, haters gonna hate. I appreciate my black President and his rare use of urban culture to call attention to exactly how much he has revolutionized the position he currently holds. For better or worse, Barack has cracked open the doors that Hillary is asking Bill to hold open for her now. That's what America is about, and with all the senseless violence, based on ridiculously outdated ideals, going on around the world we should never forget that. If I had one request it's that next time he comes out in all black and a Los Angeles Kings snapback, because he's the ultimate...ehhh...never mind.
Wow, what an up and down day. Just when you think Rob Ryan is fired Sean Payton steps up and gives a totally believable show of support for his defensive coordinator's job security....before he get fired like 3 hours after. What a drama, couldn't have predicted how that one was going to end. Okay, you got me. Sean Payton's defense of his now former colleague wasn't the greatest, but that's par for the course in New Orleans these days. Bet Rob Ryan wishes that Brandon Browner was the one giving the press conference. If that were the case they probably would have held on to him just a little while longer, if you watch my drift.
Sigh, it wasn't a question of if, but when. The days of Rob Ryan fielding a competent defense in New Orleans are a distant memory. 2013 was a lonnnng time ago. Can't say I am too shocked the man in charge of defense that gave up FOURTEEN touchdowns over the last three weeks is unemployed. At least it was to offensive "juggernauts" the New York Giants, Tennessee Titans, and Washington Redskins, I guess. It's the small things, after all. Do I know if Dennis Allen is going to make a difference? No, in fact, I can't see the guy that has been responsible for this year's ABYSMAL secondary turning this defense from historically bad to semi-respectable. Call me a skeptic I suppose, but with the increasing amount of injuries, I think they are only greasing the wheels to head downhill faster. The good news is that if every quarterback the Saints play against makes it to the Hall Of Fame based off one performance against the Saints alone, then the Saints can claim they only lost to Hall Of Fame quarterbacks. At least it's something to hang their hat on. I got to be honest, this sucks. Not because Rob Ryan didn't deserve to be fired. Honestly is he was kept another week then everyone else in the front office would have had to fire themselves for refusing to capably do their job. It sucks because I wanted so badly for Rob Ryan to succeed, and after 2013 it looked like that was but a certainty. Look, Sean Payton's luck with defensive coordinator's rivals Ryan Mallett's luck with alarm clocks. In a word? Repulsive. However, at least Rob Ryan, while providing nothing of value on the field the last two years, gave Saints fans a lovable caricature of a human being to identify with off of it. He just WAS "New Orleans" through and through. The flowing hair? The proclivity to getting photographed out and about double fisting? His obvious love for gluttony? Buying fans beers at his local watering hole? Sure, none of that has anything to do with actually being good at his job, but I'll be damned if it didn't make me wish that it did. I am going to miss Rob Ryan, if for no other reason than Dennis Allen doesn't strike me as much of a drinker. Pray for this defense, because it's been downright blasphemous and I don't see that changing anytime soon. Never forget.... Yardbarker- The former New York Giants linebacker and Pro Football Hall of Famer told the New York Daily News on Sunday that he supports the Cowboys’ decision to sign Hardy after allegations that Hardy abused his ex-girlfriend, threw her onto a pile of guns and threatened to kill her.
“I like that,” Taylor said “I think they needed to give him another chance because it’s not clear what happened. It’s not really 100 percent clear what happened. So listen, I think they need to give him a chance. “I think he is going to make the best of that second chance because I’ll tell you what, he could have been screwed. A lot of people have been screwed in this league. But he got a do-over, and you got to do the best you can. You got to make the best you can with that do-over.” You know, if Greg Hardy knew, or cared for that matter, how he was perceived by the public he would be really upset that Lawrence Taylor, of all people, decided to take his side. Lawrence Taylor might rival OJ Simpson in terms of the last people on the planet Earth that you would want defending your actions. Partially because Lawrence Taylor's moral compass is always pointing South, but also because if someone chooses to ask LAWRENCE TAYLOR about you then you know you fucked up. It's well documented, through his mannerisms and basically every single thing he says, that Greg Hardy doesn't care if what he did was wrong. However, if he did he would be like super pissed that Lawrence Taylor was standing firmly in his corner. Credit where credit is due, I guess? If Lawrence Taylor said that Greg Hardy didn't deserve another shot then he would basically be admitting that he doesn't deserve to live. That's a level of awareness I didn't expect from LT. The scariest aspect of this quote, you ask? No, not that Lawrence Taylor is completely ignoring that Greg Hardy was found guilty AND that there is very real, very tangible photographic evidence of his transgressions. Could have seen that coming from a mile away. The scariest part is the fact that Greg Hardy and Lawrence Taylor would have a great time if they actually hung out. Just crushing a bunch of whiskey and blow. Sexually assaulting every underage woman that crossed their path. Just your average night on the town for the two of them. They would probably get along so well that they end up front row at each other's inevitable future court cases. We take a lot of comfort in knowing that, even though Greg Hardy is still playing in the NFL, 99.9% of people don't think he should be. It's that .01% that should really frighten the shit out of us, and there isn't a more predictable member of that .01% than Lawrence Taylor. Next time you need to stay awake at night just remind yourself that someone as terrible as Greg Hardy actually has supporters that aren't old white owners that are ignoring criminal records in an effort to win. Then see if your cows are still trying to jump over the moon. Complex (from October 1st, 2015)- After Aaron Rodgers shredded the Chiefs defense on Monday Night Football earlier this week, his backup quarterback Scott Tolzien compared him to Michael Jordan.
“It’s like watching Jordan in his prime,” Tolzien said. “He’s at the top of his game. He makes it all go.” Later, Rodgers’ wide receiver James Jones said that he agreed with Tolzien’s assessment. “I think Tolzien said it best the other day, it’s like watching Michael Jordan in his prime,” Jones said. “Every time he goes out there, the dude does something special. Like I’ve been saying these first three weeks, we’re all witnessing something special. We probably won’t realize it until he’s done and retired how good he was.” Well, that comparison backfired with the quickness. Got to honest, wasn't a huge fan of it when it was first being bantered about. I understand that up until recently Rodgers was on an outrageous hot streak. Without going too much research, I am pretty sure he destroyed the record for passes thrown without an interception. Still, this is Michael Jordan we are talking about. Maybe a little premature to compare a quarterback to arguably the single most dominant athlete in sports history just three weeks into a season. Aaron Rodgers is a great quarterback. Arguably the best in the league unless Tom Brady has anything to say about it. However, arguing that he is the best EVER is a stretch for even the most diehard Packers fan. Since his teammates made that proclamation he is 3-3 with wins over Colin Kaepernick's 49er's, the Rams, and the Chargers. More importantly, in his biggest game of the season he looked helpless in a putrid effort against a great Denver defense. In his second biggest game of the year he found himself down 20+ to a great Carolina defense. Following those two games he lost to a hapless Lions team while putting up 16 points. Not exactly Jordan-esque if you ask me. Don't even bother trying to blame it on the fact that Jordy Nelson suffered a season ending injury in training camp. Not to be too race centric with my comparisons but that would be like Michael Jordan blaming a loss on Steve Kerr's foul trouble. That would never happen, because to be the best there can't be a single thing you can't overcome, no matter what sport you partake in. Again, Rodgers is one of the best overall players in the NFL, but this string of underwhelming performances he is in the midst of is just another reason why we, as sports fans, shouldn't be so quick to compare. Especially when that comparison spans across different leagues in different eras. Aaron Rodgers is no Michael Jordan, and while he's not exactly Kwame Brown, those comparisons would be equally as forced. He is not a bum, but he's not the GOAT. Despite what the overreactive landscape of sports media might lead you to believe, there is actually somewhere in between.
I know I speak in definitives a lot, but it has to be up there, right? We are talking about Ronda Rousey. The most famous female combat fighter in history. A woman who has made millions upon millions of dollars based on the idea that she's far and away the best amongst her peers. Like it or not, Ronda Rousey's popularity never stemmed from being the best female the UFC had to offer. If it was then how come not one of us knew the name of the champion that came before her? Her popularity was predicated on being THAT MUCH better than her competition. It was predicated on being one of the few women that could potentially compete in a male dominated profession. It was never, ever going to come to fruition, but her ability to link, albeit weakly, male and female athletics is what made her a household name.
Think about the questions you heard most regarding Ronda Rousey. Could she compete against the men in her field? Could she beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. in mixed martial arts? It was never about who she was actually fighting. Shit, I had to double check to find the name of the woman that just beat her. It was who would win in fictitious, inconceivable fights that never stood a chance of ever taking place given this country's problem with domestic abuse. The most important contributor to Rousey's rise to prominence wasn't her punching, kicking, or grappling ability, even though she remains superior at all those things, it was the unknown. Holly Holm didn't just knock out Ronda Rousey the person, she pulverized her aura of invincibility. Now, I use the term "detrimental" in reference to her UFC career and nothing else. She has already abused her fame for all it's worth. She is in multiple upcoming movies, has a book out, has already done guest spots on nearly every television station you can possibly imagine. One loss in the octagon isn't going to leave her out on her ass. Far from it, obviously. However, that mystic of being unbeatable? That's gone, and it's never coming back. She's not going to be on the cover of anymore boxing magazines. No one is going to take her seriously when she claims she makes more money per second than the wealthiest boxer in history. The unknown is now known, and it's that Ronda Rousey is just a really good female UFC fighter and nothing more. There's no shame in that, but there's also no "larger than life" persona that leaves the sports world saying "what if?".
P.S. There is some chatter that this fight was fixed. Not saying that I totally believe, but it does make sense with how much time she will have to devote to her acting career. You don't want the belt held by someone that's currently out of the sport. Still, can't imagine anyone would willingly take a punch like this to face no matter what the payout is, and if she did take a fall she definitely did a disservice to women's sports.
Bobby Farnham Playing Basketball Tells You Everything You Need To Know About Bobby Farnham11/16/2015
I can't even begin to tell you what my expectations were when I got sent a video of Bobby Farnham playing basketball. All I can tell you is that outside of actually making the shot, it was everything I imagined it to be. That's what is so funny about this, because after seven games of watching him play hockey, making the shot after nearly tearing his ACL after trying to do a crossover is exactly what I should have seen coming. Farnham isn't supposed to be an athlete. He doesn't even look like he should be walking anywhere without assistance, never mind skating. It's not fair to say he has two left feet. He has a right foot and and a left foot, I am just pretty sure that they are attached to the opposite legs. There isn't a goddamn thing about him thats says "I should be in the NHL" and that is a compliment to him, because, against all odds, that is exactly what he is proving.
He's basically the far less talented, hockey version of Manu Ginobili. Just flailing around the ice, looking completely uncoordinated, yet somehow getting the job done. He optimizes the phrase "it doesn't have to be pretty, just do it". The opponent is the one that should be fearful when he is on the ice, but half the time I end up concerned over his safety. He's a wrecking ball. A wrecking ball of energy, emotion, lunacy, and...and... goal scoring? Yeah, exactly. I don't know how either, but I just know that it couldn't be more entertaining to watch. I didn't expect Bobby Farnham to be able to make a fadeaway jump shot, and that's how it should be, because I didn't expect him to able to play meaningful minutes for the New Jersey Devils either. Keep proving me wrong Bobby. P.S. My view of Bobby Farnham is completely and totally skewed by my brother having witnessed him get kicked out of a college bar for wrestling his buddy shirtless while in the AHL. If it were anyone else but Farnny I might question the authenticity of that story. Also of note from the following video...
-Painfully obvious that Kyle Palmieri is the only other American player on the floor. That J stays WET.
-Stefan Matteau shoots a basketball exactly how I would expect someone named Stefan to shoot a basketball. - Jacob Josefson, your shooting stroke? WOOF. |
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