Mike Francesa Tried To Argue That Trump Doesn't Curse Publicly While Criticizing LeBron For Cursing Publicly
Yup, that'll do it. Let's expedite that WFAN retirement paperwork. When you reach the age where you start declaring that Donald Trump absolutely, positively has not done something when someone else tells you he has then you can no longer be a trusted public voice. I'm sure there was a time when Mike Francesa was a well respected radio personality, but he's basically spent the last decade or so legitimizing every one of his points by repeating them - ad nauseam - into a microphone and hanging up on anyone who disagrees throughout the course of a 5 hour time slot. It's no wonder he was unaware that the President-elect might have used an expletive or thirty in front of a crowd, because Donald Trump could tell him to go fuck himself from the control room and he wouldn't be able to stop talking about Joe Girardi's job security for long enough to acknowledge the presence of a cuss.
Now, I don't need Mike Francesa to be Walter Cronkite, but to think that the dude who implied that someone should assassinate his competition in the race to become POTUS has never cursed into a microphone has far too big of a disconnect with society. I'm no LeBron James fan, but crapping on him for using some PG-13 language at a championship parade while blindly protecting the reputation of Donald J. Trump like a deaf person who hasn't heard a word he's said throughout the last 6-8 months? That might signal the appropriate time for Mike Francesa to start broadcasting to an audience of one (fed up wife) from his couch, because any person allowed out of the house by themselves should never give Donald Trump's mouth the benefit of the doubt.
Ahhh, the age old question....if everything is racist then is anything actually racist? I know that this Boston radio personality is just trying to stir the pot, but pushing a bland, premeditated narrative isn't going to spice things up. Using something as serious as police brutality towards black people as a tool to boost your ratings when it's not even remotely relevant does nothing but trivialize those that have actually been profiled racially. I'm beginning to think we should leave the cultivation of oppression-based hot takes to the oppressed, because I find it very hand to believe that any rational black person would have a problem with how this officer handled a dangerous situation.
We are talking about a man that - when awake - was literally too drunk for English words while behind the wheel of a running motor vehicle that was sitting idly in an active roadway and the most he was made to do was get out of the car (after being told multiple times), sit on the curb, and explain himself. As a white male, I am certainly not the one to make the final call on whether or not something is driven by prejudice, but I just learned that I am far more qualified than the guy who takes being an African American apologist to such an extreme level that black people might start apologizing on his behalf. 'Black Lives Matter' would be closer to giving this officer an award than questioning his intentions. Meanwhile, some white sports writer is going to be the one to shame him for treating an incoherent imbecile that just endangered the lives of countless innocent people like a child that needs to be reprimanded hundreds of time before they do something as simple as put their hands on the wheel? I give Pete Abraham the same advice I would give Michael Floyd if I happened to see him eyeing up a bar - try a little bit less next time.
Iowa Stormed Off After A Win Without Shaking Hands Because Their Opponent...Uh...Played Until The Whistle?
Well, that's a first. I can't tell you I have ever seen the coach of a winning team get that upset when the losing team broke one of his personal unwritten rules by...playing until the final buzzer regardless of the score? Don't get me wrong, those dudes from North Dakota look like damn fools for scratching and clawing just to add to their box score, but storming off in a huff because a couple of players from an inferior team did what they have been taught to do since they first started participating in competitive sports seems like a bit of an overreaction. I want to say that refusing to shake hands after a game is a much more egregious breaching of an unspoken agreement than putting up petty points by legal means, but it would probably fall on deaf ears because it appears Fran McCaffrey doesn't want hear any of that noise. It's too bad, because if he did I would love to kindly alert him to the fact that he almost immediately overplayed his hand by using it to wave his team off the floor to show his opposition that any harmless, unnecessary act of "disrespect" they can do, his team can do better.
Jaylon Smith Doesn't Regret Playing In The Bowl Game That Cost Him Millions Of Dollars And His Rookie Season
I got to be honest, I am a little torn here. I am having a little trouble deciphering whether this is the smartest or dumbest thing ever tweeted.
On one hand, if this were a 'Groundhog Day' situation and Jaylon Smith decided to play despite having even the smallest inclination that he could potentially do irreparable structural damage to his knee while costing himself a year in the NFL and the difference in guaranteed money between a first and second round pick then he might need to hire a full staff of life coaches.
On the other hand, why not say he would play that same game again if he could? At this point, the only good that Jaylon Smith did by playing in a meaningless bowl matchup was upholding some implied promise he made as a student athlete on scholarship. I said the other day that I have no problem with high profile prospects - or anyone else for that matter - sitting out corporate fundraisers that are disguised as postseason games to ensure their health heading into the biggest day of their lives. However, if you had already compromised that health for nothing more than another 'L' on your collegiate record then you might as well grasp tightly to the idea that you showed an undying loyalty to your teammates by doing so.
Imagine if your best friend's hot sister came on to you when you were younger and you turned her down because you knew it was the right thing to do, and then your best friend's hot sister grew up to become Scarlett Johansson. Considering the good deed had already been done and ScarJo was never again going to come-a-knockin', of course you would say you didn't live to regret keeping your dick in your pants when the ultimate notch on the belt tried to undo yours. The truth of the matter is that you would have been much more of a Steve Stifler than a Jim Levenstein if you had even an ounce of fucking foresight. Fortunately, your homie doesn't have to know that and neither do the Notre Dame faithful that think Jaylon Smith loves the Fighting Irish more than his ability to walk without a limp.
DeMarcus Cousins Scored 55 Points Before Getting Ejected...Then Un-Ejected...Prior To Bashing The Refs And The Blazers
There are some people that will say that DeMarcus Cousins is an immature asshole. Some people will say that his inability to control his emotions is of detriment to how they view him as a basketball player. Some people will say they can't appreciate his talent because of his mouth or his antics after the whistle.
Fuck those people, because they don't even deserve Boogie.
Don't get me wrong, he totally should have been tossed last night. I am as much of a DeMarcus Cousins' apologist as anyone, but he could tell me that his overturned ejection was RIDICULOUS until his face turned the color of his jersey's trim and I would still say he's full of shit. I don't care if he spit his mouthpiece out at the Blazers bench or if it really did just accidentally fall three feet forward as he was verbally berating every fiber of his opponent's existence, that whole sequence was probably worthy of the technical that he somehow had rescinded. Those officials made themselves look like complete buffoons reversing that call, and that's coming from someone that wishes a rule was instituted to allow DeMarcus Cousins a whole handful of T's per half.
That being said, I watch the NBA for entertainment and Boogie gave the audience such a well rounded viewing experience that it couldn't possibly be categorized by one genre. Fifty-five points, a flying mouthpiece with questionable intent, an ejection complete with an abrupt exit, an unejection complete with an encore-esque re-entrance, a postgame criticism of the officials, and an unprovoked undressing of Portland's bigs?! I love watching a great basketball game as much as the next guy, but if you think I am turning my nose up at a one man soap opera then you are outside of your mind. One of the best aspects of the NBA is that it's athletes are allowed to have personalities and Boogie Cousins used all seven of his while turning a tuesday night Kings/Blazers game into an antiheroic, action-packed dramatic comedy.
SeattleTimes- Moore asked a question of Sherman stating that what he didn’t understand is that Bevell is trying to call plays he thinks will work but that Sherman appears to think he has a “better handle’’ of what should be called.
“No, I just had a, we had a prior experience (a reference to the interception at the end of Super Bowl XLIX) so we talked about it,’’ Sherman replied to Moore. “But let me guess — you have a better play to call. Let me guess, you have a better experience.’’
When Moore said no, Sherman said “then you should probably kind of stop.’’
As Sherman walked off the stage and down a walkway that headed out of the auditorium, he passed Moore and said “You don’t want to go there. You do not. I’ll ruin your career.”
Said Moore: “You’ll ruin my career? How are you going to do that?”
Said Sherman: “I’ll make sure you don’t get your media pass anymore.”
To recap, Richard Sherman took offense to the host of a radio show tip toeing the line of what was professionally appropriate while questioning him on his unprofessional questioning of his own offensive coordinator. Now that I put it that way, some might have the gall to say that the loudmouthed Seahawks cornerback comes off as (::audible gasp::) a bit of a hypocrite. Good thing I know that he would have been a model of maturity if the security of his job were publicly threatened in response to a contentious inquisition, or I would probably have no choice but to accuse him of incessantly bitching out of both sides of his mouth too. If there were any doubt that Richard Sherman felt regret for getting aggressive in his condescending interrogation of a coach on the opposite side of the ball then I would say he deserves criticism for getting so sensitive in response to the media doing the same, but if there's one person that never fails to own up to his mistakes then it's him.
Now, I understand that there is a difference between an athlete getting impassioned in the spirit of competition and a reporter instigating said athlete in the morally compromised spirit of a story. To compare the volatility of an NFL sideline to that of an NFL press conference would be like comparing body fat percentages of those that make their living on the field to those that make their living quoting those on the field. Also, I would damn near guarantee that John Moore's perceived attitude stems from a checkered past that he has with Richard Sherman. That said, you can't be the guy who is going to call everyone on their shit, and go the "oh yeah, well I'm going to get you fired" route when someone calls you out on your own shit. I totally understand the heat of the moment getting the better of Richard Sherman when he's got skin in the game, but his skin can't become so this thin when someone uses one of his own plays against him.
This Security Guard Who Got Handsy With Himself At The Chargers Game Probably Needs Professional Help
NYPost- A video posted on Facebook shows the unidentified guard seemingly pleasuring himself while facing the cheer section at Qualcomm Stadium during the Chargers’ game against the Oakland Raiders.
“So clearly Elite Security nor the San Diego Chargers care that they have a masturbating security guard at the game,” one horrified woman at the game posted. 'Several attempts to call both organizations with no concern for the Charger Girls, Chargers fans or kids. So yeah this happened right in front of us yesterday. WARNING INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT!”
Team officials confirmed the “disturbing actions” of the security guard in an email to The Post.
“The Chargers, Elite Security as well as the San Diego Police Department are aware of the disturbing actions of an Elite Security staff member at Sunday’s game,” the statement read. “We apologize to any fans who may have witnessed the incident. Elite Security is currently investigating the incident and has vowed to take immediate and appropriate action.”
Team officials also released a statement from Elite Security, which apologized for the “isolated incident” during Sunday’s game at the stadium, where an average of 57,326 fans have watched NFL games this year, according to ESPN.
I can't say I expected to see what I just saw. I'm definitely not saying I was misled or anything, but when I pictured a security guard masturbating on the field in front of tens of thousands of people at a professional football game I imagined something a little more discrete. I thought I was going to watch a clip of some poor schmuck repeatedly pretending to wipe the sweat off his hand, not some kid venturing under the hood to go hammer time to the beat of his own drum like there was no one watching.
That's why I think we really need to be careful labeling this dude a disgusting pervert that's deserving of all the public shame. Well, the first part is absolutely true, but let's hold off on crucifying him because it's clear as day that this guy has a very real problem. No doubt it's the most disturbing of behavior, but firing one off down your own pant leg in public isn't something that anyone wants to do. That nut was strictly out of necessity. If Tiger Woods odd affinity for having Perkin's waitresses in compromising positions was a "sex addiction" then what that kid has is full blown sexual enslavement. That security guard is a prisoner to his own penis. What I just witnessed is the masturbatory equivalent of sucking dick for crack. That was no act of exhibitionism and I know this because that kids RPM's are proof positive that we wasn't playing no game. He needed his fix of self-love and assigning him to the cheerleaders' section of the field was basically the same thing as going to dinner with an alcoholic and choosing to eat at the bar.
P.S. I'm putting 45% of the blame on the person responsible for the hiring process. That scrawny little predator couldn't stop me from doing a damn thing with two hands never mind with one permenantly affixed to his "stimulant" of choice, and he was the one put in charge of protecting the scantily clad girls on the sideline?!
Pat Maroon Got Emotional When Talking To The Media About Scoring In Front Of His Son In His Hometown
Let me make this clear, those tears were as genuine as tears get. That's just one monster of a man that's paid handsomely to muck it up and produce in the tough areas of the ice showing that he's a also a human being that (warning: you might want to sit down for this) is actually capable of feeling real emotions. That was a special moment for a son, and - more importantly - his father whose job competing athletically against the biggest, fastest, and toughest SOB's on skates doesn't allow him to spend nearly as much time as he would like with his family. That's the real story here, and we shouldn't forget that.
That being said, it's also a pretty fortunate turn of events for someone who is no more than a month removed from being all-but-accused of beating his prey over the head with a club and dragging it back to his lair by people that apparently take exception to referring to a game that - at it's highest level - is played solely by men as "a man's game". Those waterworks were nothing more than a product of a sentimental sequence making the room dusty for a guy that just made a memory that he and his son will never forget. However, I'll be damned if they don't silence some people that had disparaging things to say about Pat Maroon when he implied that professional athletes shouldn't be removed from meaningful games when they fall down and bump their chinny-chin-chin.
I don't know too much about sexists, but I know that they wouldn't be caught dead jeopardizing their overbearing masculine superiority complex by crying on camera. As far as I am concerned, the man (sorry for using the trigger word) that couldn't internalize his love for his kid when shown a small snippet of him celebrating just put all the overly sensitive assholes that lose the ability to think critically when the subject is gender neutrality in a goddamn body bag. Knowing that it shut up even a single person that loves nothing more than to be offended makes this adorable clip tug just a little bit harder on my heartstrings.
Grayson Allen Is Embracing His Role As The White Devil...Ahem...Dukie By Taking Flopping To Unforeseen Levels
You see that play right there? The one where a ratty looking white boy let the footsteps of a much more athletic player effect him enough to miss a wide open lay-up before he shamelessly threw himself on the ground without being touched in the slightest? That play required so little self respect that - ironically enough - I almost have to respect it. Grayson Allen literally values two points in the first half of a late December college basketball game against an inferior opponent over an semblance of his own pride. He doesn't have a single shred of integrity, but he's got what it takes to win basketball games in Durham, North Carolina. Too often athletes are afraid to play the "villain" in sports, but take one look at the expression of pure anquish on Grayson Allen's face as he misses an uncontested, point blank shot without being contacted and tell me he's not fully committed to sacrificing any ounce of likability to make even smallest contribution to a victory. You can't even say - with a straight face - that the guy that had the wherewithal to act like he was sniped out of mid-air before he even knew he completely botched the easiest play in basketball values his reputation over a single free throw. That doesn't make him the type of person you'd want to encounter in any other aspect of life, but it does make him the type of person you'd want forcing the referee's whistle - by any means necessary - in a close game. This is more than likely recency bias but I think he might be the Dukiest Dukie since Christian Laettner, and - unfortunately for every team that has dignity - that lends itself to success.
For shame Jason Smith, for shame. I suppose I could have done a little digging before treating the information that Sean Payton replaced Mark Ingram in the backfield when he was two yards to paydirt away from an additional 100K as fact, but doing literally anything more than looking next to someone's name to see if there's a blue check mark is too much due diligence for my liking. Respect the integrity of the verified account previously unknown Fox Sports radio/author guy. If the Saints beat reporters would know better then how about checking with them instead of potentially spreading a false rumor that makes an NFL Head Coach look like a complete cocksucker? If requesting that someone not treat the casual speculation between a couple guys bullshitting in a truck as gospel is too much to ask then asking that person to own up to their mistake instead of letting a bunch of smaller, less in-the-know sources run with it certainly shouldn't be. The only thing that's worse than misinformation is blaming someone else for the reporting of it. I know that makes me a hypocrite, but the beauty of not having an "official" twitter account is that I am allowed to be!
Anyway, I suppose the fact that Tim Hightower was the one who was brought closer to achieving a more valuable (relative to his contract) bonus should change my opinion on the situation, but it really doesn't. Obviously I don't want Mark Ingram flipping his lid and becoming a distraction every time the ball gets handed off to someone else in scoring position, but I don't mind him showing that he's competetitor that wants to be trusted with closing the game from time to time. If we are being honest, the fact that he only has 3 rushing touchdowns while only being 150 yards short of 1,000 (and the actual bonus in his contract) seems a little disproportionate. The guy has had goal line touches vultured from him all season (Insert "Kuuuuhhhhn!" Here) and it took until Week 16 for him to make a stink about it. I don't think that makes him a selfish dick that's only looking out for his own stat line. I think it makes him fiery guy that just wants more opportunities to contribute to the team's success. He's playing the most physically demanding position in the most violent league on Earth so I think I have it in my heart to forgive him for letting his emotions get the better of him once a season.
I am slightly disappointed in myself though. I should have known better than thinking that Sean Payton hadn't carefully considered all the statistical milestones and the symbolism behind each and every score. Tim Hightower was deserving of the chance to put a victory on ice after coming back to the place he started his career before he overcame the insane odds of making it back to the NFL after four years away from professional football. Surely his second touchdown of the the game - that basically put it out of reach for good - meant more to him and his search for an extra 65K in his bank account than Mark Ingram's 851st and 852nd yards would have meant to his search for an extra 100K in his much larger bank account. At the end of the day, Sean Payton was cleared of charges of being a petty, frugal asshole, Mark Ingram got to blow off a little steam, Tim Hightower had his sentimental moment, the Saints won, and some dick who is to proud to claim responsibility of his fictitious tweet is going to get raked over the coals. All's well that ends well baby!
I really don't want to do this just days after Coby Fleener had his most important catch as a Saint. Granted, it was only a 4 yard completion in which he was relatively uncovered that sealed a completely meaningless win, but it was one that came on 3rd down in the 4th quarter so by my metrics it was the first one he's actually made when under any pressure whatsoever. That's why it pains me to say that even if I was required to shop for someone I hated enough to buy them a motherfucking stapler for Christmas, I wouldn't buy the stapler endorsed by Coby Fleener. Hypothetically speaking, if I were such a diabolical dickhead that I was going around gift wrapping office supplies, I wouldn't feel comfortable gift wrapping one whose use is to keep things in order that has an untrustworthy online spokesperson that can't hold it together for the entirety of a football game.
In fact, I would be more willing to buy a Saints' stapler remover from the man with the most non-clasping, unbinding hands in the NFL that don't belong to Ted Ginn Jr. Then I would put a bow on it and ship it the offices of Mickey Loomis leaving strict instructions to detach a certain set of papers that happen to be signed by a particular tight end before launching them from the tallest point of the highest building on the windiest day. If there's something that I need to see lost in the shuffle it's the Saints financial commitment to Coby Fleener. Personally? I think a better gift for Saints fans would be splitting the $7 million dollars he's making per season equally amongst every single member of the Who Dat Nation, but then again - what isn't better than opening up something that dispenses technologically advanced paper clips?
Can we get a round of applause for our boy Kyle Keefe? Not only did he - somewhat unnecessarily - brave the elements to give us an update on the weather conditions for a game that was being played inside, but he did a much more effective and efficient job of portraying those conditions than any half-assed weatherman or woman I have ever suspiciously took at their word. I know his damning, yet simplistic description of the climate was more of a product of his brain freezing, but that doesn't make it any less accurate. When you really think about it, there are only two very distinct types of cold. They are "chilly" and "I think I might die", and it's safe to say that -29 degrees falls not-so-safely in the latter. Shit, I think I might perish when the wind chill forces my testicles into my torso at +29 degrees. Someone needs to get that man a coffee that's Irish enough to drink Conor McGregor under the table and a goddamn Putlitzer Prize, because he basically made 'The Revenant' look like one weak-minded bitch's brush with a cool breeze by staving off death in the neverending fight for journalistic integrity. Oh, also...a hat. Definitely get him a hat.
Christian McCaffrey And Leonard Fournette Are Sitting Out Their Respective Bowl Games And Some People Are MAD ONLINE!
Theres only one type of person that is more insufferable than the type of person that thinks unpaid (loose definition) collegiate athletes owe anyone their participation in a glorified fundraiser whose outcome means absolutely nothing and it's the type of person that would also turn around and complain that there are too many bowl games. I know there's people out there that turn their nose up at the existence of the Raycom Media Camellia Bowl but wouldn't hesitate to shit on an NFL prospect if his team was a participant in the NOVA Home Loans Arizona Bowl and he decided to sit it out, and that infuriates me to no end.
Anyway, I'm honestly surprised that I am surprised that some morons are hating on two kids for doing what's best for their professional (and thus financial) future at the expense of...well...nothing of actual significance. I should have known that people would take an opportunity to bitch about something that doesn't even matter on internet, so that's on me for giving overly subjective strangers too much credit by thinking they had the ability to do critical thinking without being influenced by their own selfish interests. I guess I just figured that this one was as cut and dry as it gets. I mean, the decisions of Christian McCaffrey and Leonard Fournette to sit out their respective bowl games didn't even require scaling the risk versus the reward. When the risk is missing out on millions of dollars I don't even think that increasing your chances of taking home some bullshit "championship" ring that you'd never - in a million years - consider wearing in public registers as a reward.
Do I even need to bring up the fact that college football coaches leave their programs prior to postseason play all the time? Everyone should be able to understand the thought process behind two promising young talents not wanting to jeopardize their bodies just prior to capitalizing on their abilities, and they should be able to do so independently of looking at how the men who are paid handsomely to be their role models handle similar situations. Having the support of their teammates shouldn't even matter unless their teammates planned on paying their bills. Alas, I definitely can't wrap my head around the disagreement here when the best argument against someone doing what's best for them is even being attacked by those that it would ACTUALLY effect. I would think seeing a tweet like this would help people realize how combustible their argument is, but - then again - those same people are too blind to see how combustible an impending NFL career at a position in which you are all-but-forced into retirement by the age of 30 can be...
Look, even before the reason behind Mark Ingram's sideline blow up became clear there was reason to believe that his beef with the decision to give Tim Hightower the chance to seal the victory near the goal line was legitimate. I know that sounds hypocritical coming from someone that who was less than pleased with Brandin Cooks' passive aggressive plea for more usage on social media, but - in actuality - the two situations aren't remotely similar.
For starters, Mark Ingram has spent his entire professional career battling for carries in a pass happy offense. You might not be inclined to believe it if you talk to enough unappreciative Saints fans, but he has gotten better in every single aspect of the game in order to provide more versatility to an offense whose success is predicated on the unpredictable. Despite all that, he's still hasn't been trusted to shoulder the load of a lead back (granted that description has changed in recent years) and not once has he been as volatile about it publicly. We are talking about a guy that responded to a benching in one of the most important games of the year by shutting his mouth and having the performance of his career one week later. It should have been obvious he wasn't just upset that he didn't get one more chance to score immediately after his team had all-but-won. Hell, if years of selflessness weren't enough to prove he had a point than Sean Payton consoling him instead jawing back like the ruthlessly correct son of a bitch that he thinks he is should have been enough to show you who was really in the right. So when I saw this tweet I can't say I was surprised...
I mean, I was shocked in the sense that Sean Payton has never not been keenly aware of an offensive statistic that's even mildly meaningful, but I wasn't shocked that Mark Ingram's gripe was rooted in an acceptable amount of selfishness. Now, seeing as Mark Ingram carried the ball inside the 5 just one play earlier I don't think that the Saints head coach was actively sabotaging six figure incentives in his player's contracts with as many as two whole games left, but I can definitely understand why Mark Ingram would be pissed that he unintentionally did. With what he's been asked to sacrifice he deserved the opportunity to pad his bank account. He'll likely get the chance to do so anyway, but his injury history and an inconsistent amount of touches make that far from a certainty. Sean Payton could have - and even should have - put to rest the elephant in the room by using the superior player to ice a victory. I refuse to believe his failure to do so had anything to do with saving the franchise $100K, but a guy that has always put the team first deserved better. Hopefully he'll get it at the expense of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next week, because I can respect a player with Mark Ingram's past showing that kind of emotion when he feels he's been wronged.
We have all experienced it. The complete uncertainly that results from posting literally anything on social media. The unknown that is the unfiltered responses of potentially millions and millions of strangers that might react poorly to what you have to half-heartedly say on the internet. That quick moment of anxiety becomes more and more fleeting each time you experience it so people like myself hardly even acknowledge it anymore. Unfortunately for Emily, I'm not sure she will ever have the luxury of ever again clicking 'Tweet' without double and triple checking the content of her psuedo-mindless thoughts. I'm not doubting her ability to take a simple oversight - or a ridiculously harsh "joke" - in stride, but I just don't think a young female can totally overcome the trauma of being told her head looks like it belongs to a dad-bod in front of the entire worldwide web. That's a whole different brand of daddy issues that she never thought she would have to work through, and they will undoubtedly have a lasting effect on her online confidence.
Now, in the defense of the intern whose own crappy defense is that he has a ghastly sense of humor, the lighting and angle does make that girl's mug appear oddly pasted atop her neck, but none of those logistics will make her feel any better about having her face confused for that of the man that was instrumental in her birthing process. If she can't feel comfortable taking a harmless father-daughter picture while participating in a promotional night for a professional sports organization without getting roasted then how is she supposed to feel comfortable posting anything as polarizing as a personal opinion or self-important anecdote?!
Deadspin- A Jets spokesperson says that Richardson was talking about Rontez Miles, not the game. According to the spokesperson, Richardson did not say, “Where the hoes at, doe? Fuck this game,” but, “Where the hoes at? Don’t fuck this guy,” referring to Miles, whose Snapchat account was being used.
I want to say that it is so beautifully "Jets" for one of their spokespeople to try to throw a band-aid on a severed limb, but what their team - and "star" defensive tackle imparticular - is suffering from is much more detrimental than any hemorrhaging open wound could be. You see, what was on full display in that video and shortly thereafter on the football field was complete apathy and general disinterest.
Really it doesn't matter whether or not Sheldon Richardson said "fuck this game". Due to the intonation in his voice and the widespread belief that teammates don't usually go around cockblocking each other on social media, I have reason to believe that he did verbally express displeasure in having to do the job he gets paid tens of millions of dollars to do no more than 16 times per year. However, even if - for some reason - Sheldon Richardson was hoping Rontez Miles had the coldest of winters, his decision to drop a profanity laced "public statement" that was directed at "the hoes" proves that he did not give a shit about the meaningless game on the horizon. It's a cliche as old as overly simplistic phrases themselves, but actions speak louder than words and the posting of that incredibly ill-advised SnapChat said "fuck this game" more clearly and defiantly than the words that were somehow commendably spun into "don't fuck this guy". I guess the job of an NFL spokesperson is to paint the best possible picture out of a pile of shit. Still, I can't help but think he/she was better off throwing his/her hands up and taking a page of the Sheldon Richardson's playbook by saying "fuck this guy" in response to the backlash that resulted from yet another - in a string of many - unforgivable incidents that he has been directly responsible for.
The only thing I can really think of to say about yesterday's game against the Cardinals is that it was the perfect portrayal of the Saints season in the sense that it made absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever. A team that couldn't pass their way out of the paper bags their fans were about ready to pull down over their heads the last two weeks put up damn near 400 yards and 4 touchdowns through the air with ease. Brandin Cooks hasn't made a game breaking play since he begged for more opportunities to do so, and yesterday he turned in his own personal track meet at the expense of one of the league's best secondaries. The Drew Brees who looked like a long, disapponting season was weighing on him when he turned in a touchdown (sans XP) worth of turnovers against the Lions and Buccaneers was back to making the spectacular look ordinary, and the offense who previously looked stuck in mud was kicking it up in the face of a top ranked defense. Even their own defense - who had somewhat miraculously become the most consistent unit on a team riff with inconsistencies - decided to throw it back to the early part of the year when they were springing more black holes than Dennis Allen's head coaching resume. All in all, a 48-41 barnburner over the Arizona Cardinals wasn't what anyone expected which probably means it should have been exactly what we expected. More importantly, it put to rest this rumor that - like clockwork - came out prior to one of the final games during an underwhelming season in New Orleans...
Hey, I have to give Jason La Canfora credit here. If there was going to be a time to start the annual "OMFG Sean Payton is getting traded" gossip then it was following two consecutive weeks in which the Saints struggled offensively and mere hours before they faced Bruce Arians, Chandler Jones, and Patrick Peterson. Unfortunately, I have bad news for the Los Angeles Rams and any other shitty team that is dying to move assets in exchange for a head coach that is in the midst of his third straight losing season - Sean Payton isn't going anywhere.
I'm not entirely sure that's good or bad news for the Saints, but the coach that has an undeniable rapport with their future 'Hall Of Fame' quarterback - who is in the twilight of his career and was just recently signed an extension - isn't in danger of being moved for a 1st round pick, a 4th round pick, or a lifetime supply of peanuts. I don't know if keeping him is what's best for the franchise, but it is what they committed to when they gave him a 5 year contract under the assumption that he was the man to fix what became broken on his watch. Another losing season wasn't what anyone had hoped for when he signed on the dotted line, but the Saints were never supposed to contend for a championship this year. Everyone knew that digging themselves out from the mountain of dead money they had buried themselves under was going to take two years so why would they call it quits after one? The offense is clearly still as potent as ever and the defense has grown in leaps and bounds since Week 1. Hell, if the special teams weren't so damn "special" this team is probably still battling for a playoff spot. That's obviously a pretty big "if", but it's a problem that's far easier to patch than an unnecessary vacancy at head coach in today's NFL. By all forms of reasoning, trading Sean Payton would mean moving on from Drew Brees and since he has shown he's still very much a top quarterback in a league full of crappy ones - why on earth would the Saints even consider that? I know that NFL "insiders" have to meet a certain quota of baseless rumors per season, but - after yesterday's performance - I think the person behind this one might want to run away from it faster than Brandin Cooks on a crossing route.
You know the feeling you get when you initially move into a new place? That feeling of wonderment. That overwhelming sense of freedom. That exciting belief that a world of possibilities are open to you? Oh, the light from that window would look great reflecting off the super awesome painting that you don't have! That extra room on the backside of the apartment would be a great place for an office that you haven't even thought about furnishing yet! The extra counter place will be great for the food prep you won't be doing while you're running around getting takeout in between trips to 'Bed, Bath, and Beyond'! It's a beautiful, euphoric state of mind, and I can't help but think that it closely resembles what the Devils experienced last year when they outperformed meager expectations in the first official year of their rebuild.
Unfortunately, what most realize after awhile is that starting over doesn't just create endless possibilities, it also creates a laundry list of responsibilities. The bare ass cupboard might provide promise, but it's also quite the fucking burden. You see, a complete renovation might be the first step to making a house a home, but it also requires an amount of money, effort, and - most importantly - time that periodically makes the entire process seem hopeless. This stretch of games that has netted the Devils wins in just three of their last seventeen is one of those periods, and it should serve as a moment of clarity. It's become pretty obvious that a season that was bouyed by All-World goaltending, an all-too-reliable defensive pairing that was used as a crutch, and career years from two young players has given us all (myself included) false hope. Turns out that reconfiguring the entire foundation of what was a broken franchise into something that can stand on it's own and breed success takes a little longer than a year and a half. Who knew?!?
I'll be the first one to tell you that watching this team find ways to lose during the rare occurence that they aren't completely outmatched from the opening faceoff has been demoralizing. Love might be a battlefield, but having my mood determined by the Devils has felt like tip toeing an emotional minefield as of late. The final 15 minutes of last night's game against the Rangers truly felt like I was defenselessly witnessing a knife being shoved into my abdomen. Each point blank chance that was botched started making that extra inch seem like a mile and added a little twist to the proverbial stab wound in my stomach. A six game losing streak that was "highlighted" by getting one measly point out of a game against division rival that they led throughout? How could the situation not seem so dire that it would have fans calling for someone's head?
Well, let me tell you. As bad as this stretch has been, it hasn't transformed Ray Shero from a shrewd genius to a visionless buffoon. Even in retrospect he would have flipped Adam Larsson for Taylor Hall and walked away laughing maniacally. I don't exactly agree with John Hynes' decision to "shake things up" by icing his most offensively incompetent lineup like he did against St. Louis and Ottawa. However, a disasterous slump that has all but proven that his team isn't playoff bound in a Metropolitan Division that would now require a Mt. Everest-esque scaling hasn't turned him from a young, hungry Head Coach to an overwhelmed jackass. A look at their record might have some thinking that the Devils took one step forward to take two steps back, but this team isn't any further from competing for a Stanley Cup than they were last year. This style of play - that has their rotation of parking cone defenseman getting piled on seemingly nightly - is much closer to the style of play they'll need to adopt to personnel wise before they even consider postseason play.
That doesn't mean that turning a 2-0 lead into a 5-2 loss is acceptable in any way, but it is probably a hiccup that we should have expected to encounter along the way with a team that is trying to compete in a league that is as young and fast as it's ever been while being only 18 months removed from being old, slow, and void of any and all potential whatsoever. Suffering through the last month and a half has felt a lot like walking into IKEA on a Sunday afternoon with no plan of attack, but all we can do is trust that when all the shopping is done and all the construction is completed that we'll be able to sit comfortably on the couch and watch this team breakout of the zone without breaking out in nervous hives. This rebuilding effort isn't all that different from most architectural endeavors in that it's apparently going to take a little longer than we originally thought, but changing the plans mid-blueprint isn't going to aide anything but the fans blind appreciation of the unknown.
My only explanation for this tweet is that ESPN must be a much worse place to remain employed than we all would have presumed, because Brent McMurphy just actively tried to get fired in front of the entire internet. Seriously, I write about 3-4 shockingly misguided, outwardly offensive tweets a week, but this one - from some seemingly straightlaced, relative unknown football insider - just made those tweets look as harmless as an unnecessary weather update. I can't even begin to fathom how he thought making a joke about the following video of Oklahoma running back Joe Mixon winding up and sucker punching a girl directly in the face as hard as he could before bolting like a complete coward - mere hours after it was released - was anywhere close to being appropriate...
That's why I won't. I am just going to believe that he had an ulterior motive. Now that I think about it, saying something that insanely stupid about such a sensitive subject is sure to cause just enough controversy to become a positive sticking point when he interviews for FS1. Hey, their ratings stink and any publicity is good publicity. Congrats on the potential new gig Brent, because I'd be absolutely flabbergasted if you had a job at the Worldwide Leader come tomorrow morning. ESPN trying to explain to the world why they kept the mediocre talent that thought the violent abuse of a defenseless woman was a laughing matter would be like one step below Oklahoma trying to explain why this punk received a free education to play football for an entire year after they their higher-ups had possession of this appalling video. Unfortunately for Brent, the former doesn't have to rationalize anything because the culprit is far more replaceable.
P.S. Sounds a lot like a "context" excuse, except like....a lot less believable...
ABC7- The attempted robbery, caught on surveillance video, happened Wednesday around 9:45 p.m. just before closing at Lotions & Lace. A man walked in with his face covered pointing what appeared to be a gun. Store employee “Amy” said she wasn’t scared. She was convinced the gun was a fake and she was having none of it.
“With the gun, he walked in. I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us,” she said. “But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don’t have time for this."
She started yelling at him, and at one point he grabbed her. That’s when a coworker at the store started throwing sex toys at him. Eventually he fled the store empty-handed.
“I think he was a coward,” said the store’s other employee. “Coming in and trying to get over on two females and not realizing that were pretty feisty.”
As if there was any doubt. Seriously, who did this fucking guy think he was strolling into an adult superstore and trying to hold up the register with a fake gun? Did he think the type of broads that make the conscious decision to work in a retail outlet that is frequented by the most pervy of perverts were going to be pushovers? These bad bitches watch dudes suspiciously walk around all day staring at the items necessary to live out their deepest, darkest, most disturbing fantasies. If there are a couple of chicks that can spot the insecurities and vulnerabilities in men it's them, and the fat fuck that was trying to transport his potential payday in the bag he just ate his double order of 'To-Go' wings out of didn't exactly make that too difficult. They probably knew he was the type to start backpedaling after the unveiling of a fake dick or two just by his body language. We are talking about two women that own the only authentic vaginas in an enclosed space filled with people that can't stop thinking about vaginas. Why on earth would they be caught off guard by a guy trying to make demands while threatening them with an pointy object that is underwhelming to the naked eye and can fire off at a moment's notice? I blame this dude for doing an awful job planning this attempted "armed" robbery, but I don't blame him for fleeing because I would also be intimidated into retreat mode by the presence of multiple women who are strangers to no fetish or freaky act of fucking.