They say if you want a job done well then you should do it your goddamned self. Unfortunately, in my interpretation of an NHL rulebook that has yet to define goaltender interference with any consistency, it seems as though it's highly frowned upon to pummel a referee, steal his stripes, confiscate his whistle, and drop the puck at center ice so as to restart the action in any sort of manner that could be considered timely. Therefore, a triumphant point to the back of a cage following an almost immediate compensatory scoring effort will have to serve as Auston Matthews' "fine, let me just fucking do it for you" moment. Turns out, all you have to do to achieve vindication over a suspect video review process that - despite the league's insistence otherwise - appears aimed at finding new and creative ways to keep games low scoring is to be a second year superstar who is capable imposing your will on the scoreboard at any given moment. It's not exactly as easy as hopping on the lawnmower to cut the corners that were skipped by your son, but - ironically enough - both are usually made necessary by the anal-retentive misreading of a space so small that is could be measured by a blade of grass! The NHL's replay system might not make any sense whatsoever, but they should at least get credit for employing young, transcendent talent that is capable of overcoming it in a way that makes polishing off the last of the dishes seem time consuming by comparison.
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