Bad News, An Irish Soccer Team Needed To Postpone Their Match Due To The Death Of One Of Their Players. Good News, Turns Out He's Very Much Alive.
BusinessInsider- An Irish soccer team has issued a grovelling apology after it faked a player's death to get a league match postponed.
Ballybrack FC, an amateur soccer club in Dublin, told the Leinster Senior League that Fernando Nuno La-Fuente had died in a motorbike accident on Friday, November 23.
The league postponed Ballybrack's match against Arklow Town, organised a one minute silence before the kick off of other league matches, and published a death notice in an Irish newspaper to offer its "heartfelt condolences" to the La-Fuenta family and all at Ballybrack, the BBC reports.
Liffey Wanderers FC was one of the teams to observe a minute's silence before a match and even posted a photograph of the moment on its Facebook account.
But Fuente was not dead at all, so it was not long before Ballybrack backtracked.
On Tuesday, the club said the management team made "a gross error of judgment" and that the person in question had been "relieved of all footballing duties," according to a statement posted on the club's Facebook page.
But La-Fuente saw the funny side. "I was playing some video games and suddenly I got a call from work and they said 'You're a celebrity.' That's how I found out that I was dead," he told RTE 1 radio on Wednesday.
La-Fuente said he always knew something was amiss as the club had contacted him beforehand to tell him to ignore any forthcoming statement from the Leinster Senior League that might claim he had "an accident."
He was expecting fake news of an injury like a leg break, so when he heard he had died, he wrote to the league to say he was actually alive. "They wrote straight back and apologised," he said.
La-Fuente, who recently moved to Galway and cannot play for Ballybrack anymore, said he did not believe the team was afraid of playing Arklow but probably having "a rough time getting players."
Well, that's certainly one way to guarantee that your team's amateur soccer match gets postponed to a more a convenient date. Of course, it's also a way to stick an unexpected finger directly up the tight ass of the vindictive bitch that is Karma, as I'd imagine that faking the disastrous demise of someone who is entirely healthy without so much as notifying them that you've done so is as frowned upon cosmically as it's frowned upon societally. Still, if you go as far as to fabricate a tragic death in hopes of ever-so-slightly increasing your odds of winning a relatively meaningless game then it stands to reason you were more concerned with results than rationale.
That's why I can't help but find myself more perturbed by the lack of foresight that went into the execution of this plot more so than the plot itself. Personally, I'd encourage everyone not to make an enemy of the Grim Reaper, but if you're going to take a crap on death's doorstep to push back a stupid sporting then at least bring moist towelettes to clean your tracks after. Semi-metaphorically speaking, if you're going to bury a still-breathing body then maybe get your damn hands dirty in digging that ditch a little deeper.
Okay, that got dark quick, but - point being - you can't just speak someone entirely out existence without taking some precautions first. That web of lies was eventually going to grow into the stickiest of situations, but to not do the due diligence necessary to make sure you didn't get caught in it until after the fictitious funeral services is almost as stupid as putting yourself in charge of them in the first place.
Poor bastard didn't just have to learn that he died in a motorcycle accident. He had to learn that he died in a motorcycle accident without so much as a successful reschedule for his former team to show for it. That's the real shame in this story, as the person responsible for it clearly has none.