Based On These Answers, Cory Schneider Is Better Than Henrik Lundqvist

Fire&Ice 

Cory Schneider
“I think if you ask any goalie, if we have to choose one, I'm sure they'd rather the equipment be smaller rather than the net be bigger,” Schneider told The Record. 

​Henrik Lundqvist
“Right now, I feel like the size of the equipment fits the body pretty good, so if they need to make a change, the net is one way to go,” Lundqvist said.


Shocker of the century. The Stay-Puft marshmallow man doesn't want to reduce the size of the goalie equipment. King Henrik can't possibly envision himself being effective while wearing some Queen-sized mattresses on his legs. You know the reasoning as well as I do. Lack of confidence. If they decide to increase the size of the nets then Henry can just blame the nets. If he starts giving up a ton of goals with less padding then that GAA is a complete reflection of his actual ability between the pipes. What's wrong Henrik, you've been reducing the width of your ties for years, don't want to stay consistent with your equipment? Too afraid that pucks won't magically hit you if you are wearing moderately sized padding. Big old Swedish meatball is concerned he might actually have to react to a shot? Fucking disingenuous asshole is going to come over here and completely compromise the integrity of our North American sport because his equipment "fits his body pretty good"? I have seen you in a slim fitting suit Henrik, that equipment doesn't fit that all that well. If Henrik's equipment fits him good, then those big ass sumo suits fit me pretty good. Maybe I can throw one of those on and get a tryout with the Flyers. God forbid someone depends on their hand-eye coordination to play the sport at the highest level.

Meanwhile, the best goalie in the tri-state doesn't even need goalie equipment. With less restrictions he'll really be able to flash his true reflexes.That's the spirit Cory! Tape some pillows on his legs and give him a first baseman's mitt and he'll probably win the fucking Vezina. Give that ginger some soccer shin guards and a padded Under Armour shirt and he'll rob shooters and steal souls with the best of them. Equipment is overrated, it's all about talent. Talent that is oozing through those beautiful, fair-skinned pores. Henrik Lundqvist just wants to play in front of a soccer net so he has more excuses. He's been leaning too hard on that "wahhhhh, my team can't score in the playoffs" one for years. Cory Schneider has been playing behind the worst offense in the history of the hockey for two years now and you don't see him complaining. That's because he's a physical specimen the likes of which Sweden has never seen. Of course Cory Schneider wants to bare it all. It will give him a chance to show off his athletic prowess. Decrease the pad size and the NHL gains an All-World goaltender. Increase the net size and the NHL gains one whiney, metrosexual Swede. Your move Bettman. Do it for America.