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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Broncos DB Shiloh Keo Claimed He Was Falsely Accused From The Back Of A Cop Car And I Think I Believe Him

7/27/2016

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LBS-  Denver Broncos defensive back Shiloh Keo was arrested back in February for driving while under the influence, and a police camera was rolling while he spewed some entertaining nonsense in the back of a cruiser.
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“I see why America is the way it is. … Hey, Obama, can’t wait to meet you, bruh, and tell you about this bulls—,” Keo said to himself.

“Holding me in here for f—ing nothing. I haven’t done anything wrong,” he said. “The cop accused me of my tail light being broken. Alright, dude. Don’t worry, I’m gonna get a test for that. I’ll bet my whole NFL salary that that s— ain’t the truth.”



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​Look, I'm not here to play judge and jury. With how much criticism they have received recently, the last thing I want to do is to call into question the motives of law enforcement. That said, Shiloh Keo's defense of the functionality of his brake lights was one of the most convincing cases I have ever heard. S
eeing as I am no stranger to deflecting blame, thinking a cop is in the wrong for pulling me over is not something I am unfamiliar with. However, if he tells me I have a busted taillight I am buying it every single time.

That's why I stand Shiloh Keo. Shit, if I had to guess he just done changing the bulbs prior to hitting the bar. The level of confidence necessary to threaten to tattle to the President is only surpassed by the level of confidence it takes to stake your entire NFL salary on the performance of a car part you can't visibly see. Sure, the disjointed rambling, overly exaggerated facial expressions, and general inability to shut the fuck up are dead giveaways that he's three sheets to the wind, but don't you dare tell me that wasted asshole doesn't stay up to date with his vehicle maintenance.

As far as I can tell, they have cuffed an innocent man. I know he's probably 3x the legal limit, but if all he was originally guilty of was a fabricated moving violation can you really consider it drunk driving? If the best the cops could manufacture as "just cause" was a lie about a broken taillight then he was probably doing a hell of a job of staying in a single lane while seeing double. And people wonder why we're rioting? HA! Calmly apprehending citizens on DUI technicalities is clearly the reason this country is at war with itself. Land of the free, but you can't bravely get behind the wheel of fully operative motor vehicle after a dozen cocktails? Do we even have rights anymore?!?
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