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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Can Dwight Howard Save Face After Victor Oladipo Gave Him This Facial?

12/6/2016

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You know when you are about to witness an act of violence and it ends up being just a little more gruesome and gory than you orginally thought it was going to be? That's how I felt as I watched Oladipo finish off that facial. If dunks had movie ratings then I would give that one a PG-13. Probably wouldn't think twice about sneaking my underage cousin in the theatre to see it, but not without warning him of the startling nature of the final scene first. 
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And it's not fair. It's just not fair. No man should have to endure that type of emasculation, and I say that as someone that thinks the emasculated is a loathesome piece of shit with sociopathic tendencies. I'm not even sure that I can properly love to hate the victim now that I have been forced to pity him. I mean, Victor Oladipo didn't just put Dwight Howard on a poster. He wiped his ass with that poster, put it in Dwight Howard's shitter, flushed it, and walked out of the house laughing as the toilet started to clog. Talk about having a lack of human decency. It's as if it wasn't enough that he was soiling whatever was left of an enigmatic 7 footer's forever compromised reputation, because he made sure to double clutch halfway up and regather himself so he could do it with more authority.

We aren't talking about Kobe publicly teabagging Dwight Howard when the Mamba was in his prime. We are talking an above average player - who the goddamn Orlando Magic felt comfortable trading away - consciously deciding to throw down over an "intimidating presence" without hesitation. Dwight Howard basically got castrated in front of a live viewing audience. I would imagine that would be enough to finally wipe that smile off his face, and if Dwight doesn't have his fake ass smile then he really has nothing else.
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