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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Can We At Least Keep Flopping Out Of NBA "Fights"?

5/5/2017

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Picture

it's on in Washington pic.twitter.com/iA4PCDS6i1

— Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) May 5, 2017

Look, I know we are closer to the NBA becoming completely non-contact than we are to it going back to the days of the Bad Boy Pistons. I've accepted that flopping for flagrants is something that is as widely accepted throughout the league as the re-definition of the word "fight" which is apparently "a harmless altercation that maxes out at light pushing and heavy use of disparaging words". I've made my concessions as a fan of physical basketball, and it's about damn time the players make theirs by at least saving their absurd embellishment for between the whistles. 

If Kelly Olynyk wants to channel the teaching of Gordon Bombay by taking the fall, acting hurt, and getting indignant then I would really prefer he did so after losing a battle for a rebound. Doing a cartoonish trust fall onto the hardwood like he just received a paralyzing punch to the  jaw insults my delicate sensibilities as a fan of a sport where fighting is obviously forbidden. It had the desired effect because it got an opponent tossed. However, it also made an announcer call an aggressive bump a "blow", and I think I speak for everyone that's ever watched a boxing match when I say that appropriation of athletic jargon is more detrimental to sports than the loss of Kelly Oubre is to the Wizards lineup.

If the most freakish of specimens want to embarrass themselves by flailing around the court to draw fouls then so be it, but if they are going to square up and pretend to be tough with no intent of doing a damn thing then I would appreciate it if they stayed on their feet. Not only because it's a pathetic exaggeration from a professional athlete, but because my eyes might get stuck in the back of my head if I have to roll them anymore with plays like this becoming commonplace...

Bradley Beal with the most athletic flop of all time. pic.twitter.com/4VAO228pk1

— The Crossover (@TheCrossover) May 5, 2017
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