You're not going to find me claiming that body shaming isn't a very prevalent issue in society. That's partially because it's quite obviously something that effects many people, but it's mostly because I am not sure I could handle the emasculation if Aly Raisman challenged me to an arm wrestling competition for saying it's not.
That being said, I think we should consider the context of this rude interaction between an Olympian gymnast and a TSA agent before we rush to judgement. I don't want to make it sound like those who are held responsible for vetting every irritable commuter during the most annoying part of their trip should be given free reign to be an objectionable asshole, but I definitely understand why they tend to be. I hardly even want to talk to myself when going through the process of boarding a flight, never mind talking to every self-important person that (understandably) thinks their time is more valuable than that of everyone else. That's why I have let it slide every time my intelligence has been insulted after saying "what?" to someone that is already occupationally obligated to repeat themselves hundreds of times per shift.
Now, I clearly can't imagine what it's like for Aly Raisman to be viewed as weak simply because she's a woman when she's undeniably stronger than a significant number of men. I'm sure it happens far more often than we'd like to believe. I just can't - in good conscience - treat it as an all-encompassing indictment of society at large when the guilty party is someone that has to feel up pissed off passengers of every shape, size, and undoubtedly dim demeanor all damn day. I don't personally know the guy manning security at whatever terminal she was flying out of and he may very well be a sexist prick, but the possibility that a long day of being fake nice to testy travelers simply took it's toll on his attitude absolutely exists.
A College Golfer Had To Strip Down And Go Swimming To Find His Ball Because Of Some Stupid NCAA Rule
JacksonvilleUniversity- The day reached a tipping point on the fourth hole, the 13th hole of the day for David Wicks. The senior from Bexhill, England, picked up his ball after his first putt finished around three feet from the hole and placed it in his pocket. While waiting for the other golfers in his group to finish their putts, Wicks backed up towards the bunker, which has a lake just behind it. Wicks went to pull his scorecard out of his pocket, and as he reached for the card his ball fell out of his pocket, kicked off his shoe, and fell into the lake. NCAA rules state that a golfer must find their personal ball in order to continue the hole without any penalty. Wicks stripped down to his underwear and dove in with a five-minute time limit.
"David probably found 20 balls in the stretch of five minutes, but he never could find his," said Blackburn. "It was just a stroke of bad luck. After the five minute period ended the rules officials gave him a two-stroke penalty, which really could've hampered our comeback. But David rebounded, finishing the day with five straight pars to keep us in the race."
The NCAA and golf - talk about a match made in a gamesman's personal hell. Hey, the governing body of the most self-important sport on the planet might make a college kid bob for Titleists like he's participating in the most low budget gameshow off all time, but at least they won't have any rules - no matter how ludicrous - get broken on their watch! I suppose you could argue that having a momentary, mid-round bout with your hand-eye coordination while spectating shouldn't reflect poorly on your score, but dumbass regulations that will never be corrected solely out of stubbornness are simply par for the course when it comes to the NCAA and/or the PGA.
I don't know why David Wicks didn't just drop a little white lie and say that one of the two dozen balls he found was his. I think he's a maniac for being that devoted to the code (assuming there were no cameras that could prove him wrong), but I can respect him for internalizing his anger instead of going full-Elin Woods on the official that notified him of his two stroke penalty while he stood there smelling like swamp water. If that were me then Jacksonville University would been wishing they gave my scholarship to Happy Gilmore instead, because I would have been fishing for my ball with that referee's face as the bait for as long as it took for his body to go limp. So credit to David Wicks for taking it in stride and recovering to give his team a fighting chance at the finals.
I don't really know how to beat around the bush here so I am just going to come out and ask it. Is it even possible for a German person to passionately scream in order to motivate a group of people without giving off a serious Hitler-esque vibe? It's probably just my limited familiarity with the language and it's inherent aggressiveness, but - putting aside my cultural insensitivity - any person that was in that room and didn't understand what was being said would follow strictly out of fear. Any non-German speaking Jew (soft J) that heard this guy's voice bellowing from the opposing locker room would "sprain his ankle" tripping over a blade of grass before he even got out on the pitch. I don't want to make it sound Carsten Rump is a superiority complex and a broken moral compass away from being capable of dictatorship. However, those subtitles read like someone that is calling for his players to treat a soccer match like the outcome determines the fate of their families so really, how attached is he to reality?
I guess we should just let the past be the past, but - historically speaking - that inspiration speech had an undeniably oppressive tone. Which I suppose, in turn, means that German is a dialect whose reputation will never be fully reparable.
Alright, let's get the pleasantries out of the way. I'm glad that Chris Froome is no worse for the wear after some crazy asshole intentionally rear ended his bicycle. I'm just picturing that situation in my head and I can't fathom how someone would come away from it completely unscathed. It's ridiculous that a person literally ran a motor vehicle into a 3x 'Tour De France' winner and the only real damage that was done was done to an inanimate object. It's undoubtedly great news that he's not in a hospital bed somewhere. Not only because what happened to him was incredibly fucked up, but because the use of his extremities will make it much easier for him to look up the difference between "impatient" and "inconvenienced".
Maybe there's some cultural differences here, but I'm assuming "pavement" just means the street, correct? Some impatient driver followed him down the street? Those things that were built for cars to go from one place to another in a timely fashion? I apologize if I'm underselling the road rage that took place here and someone actually popped up on the sidewalk to take out a cyclist 'Grand Theft Auto' style, but this sounds like Chris Froome was just casually pedaling along like the world was his race course. That doesn't mean it's okay to clear the way with your front bumper, but it does make him seem a bit self important when he implies that waiting for a biker to get the hell out of the way is a necessary evil of driving. I personally wouldn't get vehicularly homicidal because a guy added 10-15 seconds on to my trip, but I sure as shit would scream a bunch of obscenities at him. Again, I don't know exactly what happened but if this took place how I picture it then I hope it's an unfortunate experience that teaches Chris Froome to stay in his damn lane going forward, because it sounds like it was a "get off the track when the train is coming through" situation.
A Brazilian Soccer Player Was Arrested On The Field For Kidnapping And Extorting A 67 Year Old Woman
TheComeback-You would think someone wanted on four arrest warrants would keep a low profile. But Brazilian soccer player Marlon Nataneal de Lima Alexandre decided to keep on playing for Sapucaiense in the Campeonato Gaúcho Second Division.
During a match on Wednesday, police showed up while Lima was sitting on the reserve bench, promptly cuffing him and taking him into custody.
According to Gaúcha, a local news outlet, Lima allegedly participated in a violent kidnapping of a 67-year-old woman in October. The perpetrators held her at gunpoint outside a mall and then spent about $1,400 on her credit cards.
Police had trouble tracking down Lima until they learned he played for Sapucaiense. Club president José Luis Rech Cristianetti said he was unaware of Lima’s past and called the arrest “a sad surprise,” according to Gaúcha.
You know what, I'm glad this guy got cuffed on the field in front of everyone. Obviously he deserved it after racking up his 4th different arrest warrant by kidnapping a grandmother, but that's not even the point. The point is that a regular, behind-the-scenes jailing wouldn't have been nearly shameful enough for someone that couldn't even properly extort a 67 year old woman for $1,400.
They should have pulled his pants down at mid-field and let Ms. Daisy walk out with her wooden spoon to give him one whack on the bum for each dollar stolen. Marlon Nataneal de Lima Alexandre (say that 5 times fast) deserved all that embarrassment and then some. The only thing more pathetic than kidnapping a senior citizen - for what has to be considered chump change relative to the crime - is not even having the decency to do it well. Do you know how much intimidation you have to lack for an old lady to walk straight down to la estacion de policia after having a semi-professional backup soccer player hold a gun to her head? All of it. All the intimidation.
These idiots tried to pick the low hanging fruit and still bit of more than they could chew. How are you going to threaten the life of someone whose a few years away from needing help crossing the street and still not be able to keep her goddamn mouth shut? Not only is that a ringing endorsement of how fearless women are while shopping is at stake, but it's an indictment of the scare tactics of the saddest kidnappers of all time who still got busted after having the gall to push aside a women's AARP card to empty her bank account.
Ahhh, the pitfalls of pregnancy. Ya know, people constantly refer to childbirth as a miracle, but they seem to forget that most miracles don't require you to clear your schedule for 9 months. A little time off seems like a small price to pay for starting a family....until that time off directly correlates with your company undergoing a massive house cleaning. Sara Walsh thought she was exercising her God-given right to motherhood, and in time it took for two fetuses to turn into identical human beings she went from peeing on a stick with job security to bloated and expendable. There's no doubt that having a baby is a blessing, but I think we can all agree that it would really be more convenient if they grew quicker than the contracts that inevitably changed a multi-national corporation's entire landscape.
And how about ESPN just waiting until the day she's set to return to work to deliver (no pun intended) the news that she's now a full-time mommy? I don't know who was responsible for laying people off, but their face must have turned white when they read that Sara Walsh was set to return from maternity leave. The transition from the "Congrats! How are the kids?" conversation to the "so, about your employment" conversation is about as smooth as the cut to the crowning scene in 'Knocked Up'. You remember when you were in school and you just completely forgot about project until 6 hours before it was due? I imagine that sinking feeling was the same one that hit the director of the firing squad like a ton of bricks when he realized he had to follow up the birth of twins with a much more unpleasant discharge. I guess I can't really fault ESPN because they laid off people with much more prestige than Sara Walsh, but something tells me that the avoidance of the most awkward interaction of all time should have expedited her to the top of the call sheet.
Congrats to the happy couple though! Those bundles might even become more joyous when they are joined by a severance package. ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Stalling.
Tennis Finally Has A Villain, And It's The Former Pro That Made A Racial Remark About Serena Williams Unborn Child
TheBigLead- Ilie Nastase, the former world no. 1 tennis player, is (was?) the captain of Romania’s Fed Cup (an international women’s tournament) team, which had a home match against Great Britain this weekend. At a press conference, one of Nastase’s players was asked about Serena William’s baby, and Natase interjected, “Let’s see what color it has. Chocolate with milk?”
Nastase was quickly removed from the weekend’s festivities in disgrace after making public sexual advances towards a female tennis coach, harassing a female reporter in the press room, making racist remarks about Serena Williams’ baby, and verbally assaulting players on Great Britain’s team during a match on Saturday.
Those details reportedly included calling a reporter “stupid” and “ugly,” and calling two Great Britain players “fucking bitches.”
I want to make one thing clear. Though I am only going off of one report's worth of evidence, I think it's pretty safe to assume that Ilie Nastase is an insufferable, despicable excuse for a human being. The whole "chocolate with milk" thing wasn't the most racist thing I have heard uttered about an expecting interracial couple, but - ironically, given the deliciousness of chocolate milk - it was clearly in poor taste. I can't remember the last joke I heard that used diary products to attack the potential complexion of an unborn baby, but I would imagine that doing so is pretty universally frowned upon. Combine that with sexual and verbal assault and it becomes pretty easy to declare that he is definitively a dickhead off of one day's work.
It's actually pretty impressive if you ask me. Maybe not the most honorable accomplishment, but the unhinged bastard went through three strikes faster than Tim Tebow during a Major League audition. Other than that, I honestly don't know what to say about the guy other then he is....exactly what I would expect out of a 70 year Romanian who looks like he should immediately be cast as Hans Gruber's grandfather in 'Die Hard Or Bruce Willis Can't Afford A New Vacation Home'.
Is there any chance this bag of bones has made it through a single 24 hour stretch in the decade without polishing off a fifth of vodka? I'm not trying to make excuses for his villainous behavior, but I would be lying if I said he didn't appear to be embracing the role with open arms. There's something to be said for sticking with what you're good at, and - as a menacing, half dead son of a bitch - there is nothing he is better at then polluting Grand Slams with his public displays of discrimination. Maybe tennis wasn't looking for a bad guy, but at least now they can say they legitimately have one instead of shaming Nick Kyrgios for throwing fits, talking shit, and being just about the most entertaining person in the sport. He may have some attitude, but he's not the root cause behind social media posts like this....
NYDailyNews- A Sarasota Open match between Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger was interrupted multiple times on Tuesday night due to a couple in a nearby house having very loud sex.
To their credit, Tiafor and Krueger did not seem fazed by the extra-curricular activities the neighbors were partaking in.
Krueger joking hit a tennis ball in the direction of the sex noises at one point and when the volume hit an embarrassingly high level, Tiafor, 19, yelled: “It can’t be that good!”
Poor guys. Seriously, you have to feel bad for Frances Tiafoe and Mitchell Krueger here. I haven't the slightest idea how good they actually are at tennis, but I do know it must be mighty hard to work your way up the ranks so that you're no longer competing in venues that potentially share public beaches with porn shoots. They are professionals who should be able to perform under non-optimal conditions, but it still can't be easy to showcase the entirety of your talent while listening to some vocally gifted broad attempt to ease the insecurities of her boyfriend.
There's a reason that the most prestigious of tennis tournaments will drag you into the bowels of the stadium and break your fingers like you were running just a litttttle too hot on the blackjack table if you so much as cough from the back row during a Serena serve. That's probably because it's an unnecessarily high brow sport, but I would imagine it also has something to do with it being very hard to concentrate when the all-too-respectful silence is broken. I can't even begin to comprehend the level of difficulty when it's broken by some couple that sounds like they are fucking in the sixth row.
Hell, it may have been respectful if they were fucking in the 6th row. At least then they would get tagged with a sweet label like "exhibitionists" instead of just being the type of obnoxious assholes that take their moaning and groaning to a completely unnatural decibel level just to prove to as many people as possible how much sex they have. Speaking as someone who had a college roommate whose girlfriend thought the final game of beer pong was the best time to test the acoustics of his bedroom, it sucks to be reminded of how insignificant your match is by people that would rather shamelessly hump alongside it than watch it.
I Don't Endorse Throwing Dead Rats At Pro Soccer Players, But These Fans May Have Earned The Right To
SI- FC Copenhagen and Brondby IF squared off in an important Danish Superliga fixture on Monday. Not only are the two clubs separated by just eight miles, they’re first and second in the Superliga table. So you’d expect things to get pretty heated, but heated enough that fans started throwing dead rats on the field?
The rodent tossing happened as Copenhagen’s Ludwig Augustinsson lined up to take a corner late in the match, which means the fans held onto the rats for the better part of two hours.
Truth be told, there's probably no good time to rain deceased rats from the stands towards your favorite team's biggest rival. I know there might be some cultural differences here since international footy fans tend to make American sports fans seem rational, composed, and...well...sober by comparison. Still - even by Denmark's standards - I can't help but feel like tossing dead rats on the field of play makes you an overbearing asshole. Hell, even the ingrates in the foreign, decriminalized territory of Florida have the self respect to limit their projectile vermin to those that are mass produced and made of rubber.
With that said, the level of dedication here is undeniable. I have never had the urge to pocket a rapidly decomposing rat for hours on end in hopes of using it as a sign of disrespect towards the visiting team, and - in the weirdest of ways - it's kind of making me feel like less of a fan. These people are unquestionable social pariahs of the highest order, but they are social pariahs that love their goddamn team enough to lug around animal carcasses for the vast majority of the match. I don't know if that amount of undying loyalty and commitment is enough to earn them the right to litter the pitch with the remains of sewer dwellers, but it's probably as close as they are going to get to justifying their acts of public indecency. They may have inconvenienced the clean up crew, but at least they sacrificed the eternal use of their nostrils to do so.
My First Reaction To Watching This Video Of A Negligent Security Guard At A Soccer Match was Undoubtedly The Wrong One
I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. I hate when light gets shed on the rear end of my ass backwards priorities. That, however, doesn't mean I don't think it makes me a better man to admit when I am wrong, and my initial reaction to this video was as wrong as I have ever been.
When I watched this "security guard" give thee ole' matador defense to a bunch of soccer hooligans my first thought was "how come I'm never lucky enough to run into this guy?". Obviously, I should want to avoid the last line of protection that's most likely to let someone enter a public domain with a goddamn bazooka strapped inside their pant leg, but the irrationally impatient fan in me loves how quickly his line is moving. I'm undoubtedly more susceptible to getting stabbed inside the venue he's working, but I'll be damned if I am not able to order one more beer at the bar and still make inside for the start of the game he's working. If you give me some time to think about it then I have no problem admitting how dangerous this is, but in the moment I probably would have given this guy a tip if he casually waved his hands in my general direction and expedited me through to the ticket taker. This dude definitely needs to be fired, but ask me when I'm 25th in line 30 seconds before the scheduled puck drop and I might be willing to write him a letter of recommendation. Safety's first, but my personal convenience is such a close second that sometimes it's temporarily surpasses it.
The BBC Commentator Who Did The Masters Provided Some Expert Analysis On The Skirt Of Sergio Garcia's Fiancee
FTW- After Garcia sunk the final putt to capture his first major championship on Sunday, Peter Ellis made a comment that many in the audience found demeaning. After Garcia’s fiancee Angela Akins kneeled to the ground in celebration of Sergio’s win, Alliss was heard saying: “She’s got the shortest skirt on the campus.”
The BBC later addressed the issue in a short statement:
“While believing he was off air, Peter made a lighthearted remark which he now knows was inappropriate,” said Gail Sullivan, a BBC spokesperson.
Well, if that's not the type of expert observational analysis that the BBC was looking for from the golf commentator they tasked with breaking down one of the biggest events of the year than I don't know what the hell is. Some may think that critiquing the outfit of the Masters winner's fiancee just moments after the culmination of four long days and 73 grueling holes of golf was unnecessary and inappropriate, but how else was Peter Alliss supposed to fill air? It's not like Sergio Garcia had just overcome an extensive history of failure or something like that. I can't possibly think of any other storylines that needed to be neatly tied up after the first major of the year had just come to a pressure packed conclusion in sudden death. He almost had to compare Angela Akins skirt length to that of the other girls on the imaginary campus he was apparently day dreaming about. He wasn't lured into giving her the old up-and-down after watching her drop to her knees. He was just trying to paint a vivid picture for those who had turned away from the TV for a split second.
Christ, why is everyone so quick to dismiss elderly white dudes as perverted misogynists nowadays? It's like people can't take a lighthearted joke that implies the future wife of the newest green jacket recipient is potentially a little slutty. What has the world come to?!? Pretty sad state of affairs if you ask me. After all, you'd have to research back no further than earlier last week to realize that 86 year old Peter Alliss is totally equipped to pander to the progressive. If you ask me he's basically one vagina away from being a feminist...
“I’ll try not to be too much of a dinosaur [when covering this year’s Masters], but remember: dinosaurs are making a comeback,” Alliss told Newsweek.
“No matter how you wrap it up, women will never be able to do things that men can do. If we want to be equal, are you going to get a woman fighting for the heavyweight championship of the world [in] boxing? Are you? Could you?
Alliss continued: “I think women are more delicate than men. I like holding chairs for women. I enjoy the company of women. I don’t want to be bullied by them. I don’t care for macho women, I don’t care for them very much. And yet they’re prevalent today, and very prevalent in some cases. And very forward.”
Some Aren't Pleased With The San Diego Growlers Having Pole Dancers On The Sidelines During Their Ultimate Frisbee Game
LBS- On Saturday, the San Diego Growlers invited a group of six women from a fitness studio to participate in their halftime festivities. This particular studio is called Sexy Beast Studio, and it is where people use pole dancing to stay in shape. Growlers trainer Chris Chamberlain, whose wife runs the business, suggested the idea.
Fans were not happy.
“This makes me embarrassed. @SDGrowlers not ok,” a woman who owns a share of another American Ultimate Disc League team wrote on Twitter, according to the San Diego Union-Tribune. “Issue apology and educate yourself on sports and gender issues 101. Stat.”
Many fans actually left the event during the halftime show.
“I attended this game and was shocked to see the dancers at halftime,” one Reddit user wrote. “A not insignificant number of attendees left the event as soon as they realized what was happening; mostly attendees who had brought their children expecting a family affair.”
I have to admit, this news surprises me. The idea that San Diego has a professional ultimate frisbee team whose halftime show features girls that don't have enough daddy issues to commit to stripping swinging around on poles meant for just that isn't too shocking. The fact that their fan base would intersect with the PC police that can't recognize an eclectic new-age art form when they see it? That takes me a back a bit. I guess there's no societal realm that hasn't been infiltrated by people that get offended as a hobby. Either that or I'm totally off base when it comes to pigeonholing the type of person that shells out cash to watch grown men toss around a disc.
Getting "mad online" levels of upset about scantily girls showing off their flexibility during the intermission of a beach activity turned organized sporting event kind of feels like showing up to a hacky sack competition and immediately complaining that it smells like weed. If you were outraged enough to take to the internet when a niche event that was taking place in Southern California incorporated the tried and true method of introducing eye candy to satisfy their paying customers then I would suggest finding a new way to entertain your sheltered children on a Saturday afternoon. I wouldn't waste anytime either, because if this is the type of fun killing that happens at home then they'll be doing narcotics with the neighbors in no time. As far as I am concerned, pole dancers aren't out of place at ultimate frisbee games. The people acting like they have a pole tickling their colon as they treat girls in booty shorts and cut-off tee shirts like they are pussy poppin' on a handstand are the ones that are out of line here.
A Reporter Asked Bastian Schweinsteiger If He Thought His MLS Team Was Capable Of Winning 'The World Cup'
You know, I just can't seem to put my finger on the reason why athletes have become more and more likely to take members of the media less and less seriously. It's almost like you can't even ask a question about a player leading his nationally centralized franchise to international glory without being relentless mocked anymore. It really is quite the indictment on the players that sports journalism has become nothing more than the asking of easy questions that have repetitive answers.
Just take this scenario for instance. A star player - who should be ingratiating himself to the organization - won't even so much as speak to his new team's chances of winning a championship that they aren't even remotely eligible for? The gall of Bastian Schweinsteiger to think he's above responding to - without a doubt - the toughest question he faced all day. Who the hell does this guy think he is? Sitting up there looking like he just smelled some shit and pompously staring out at a reporter that just wants to know if Chicago is built to contend in a tournament they won't be participating in. Fucking guy hasn't even played a game for the Chicago Fire yet and he's already putting a cap on their potential? Pretty sure the ultimate goal for any soccer player is to win 'The World Cup', and the guy that already helped bring one to Germany is scoffing at the idea of bringing one to a midwestern city he now calls home? Someone better let him know that we don't let our professional athletes actively avoid ludicrously nonsensical inquiries here in the states. Even if they play a sport that we - as a country - largely (clearly) don't know too much about.
P.S. If three people have a full on discussion before responding to your question with nothing more than laughter then there is probably a bigger problem with your question than the phrasing of it.
P.P.S. Got 'em....
TheBigLead- Auburn defeated Florida in softball 1-0 today. In the handshake line, there was some animosity. Auburn shortstop Haley Fagan did not have her hand up in the line. Florida coach Tim Walton, whether he was on autopilot or offended by the gesture, tapped Fagan on the shoulder. She turned around and gave him a push in the back. She had some words in the general direction of her opponents before being restrained by her teammates.
Larry Brown Sports points out a possible source of the beef: “We know there is some beef between the Fagan family and Walton, as Haley’s sisters, Sami and Kasey, started off at Florida before transferring after being kicked off the team.”
At the time of this news, in 2012, Fagan’s father said that his daughters had been released because there had been “an altercation on the team.”
Far be it from me to call into question the seriousness of the altercation that got Sami Fagan And Kasey Fagan dismissed from Florida's softball team, but it's extremely hard for me to believe that they were justifiably let go. After all, if the maturity of their sister Haley is any indication than there is no way the Fagan's are the type of gals to turn an interaction that is based on mutual respect into an unbearably contentious bitch fest. I haven't the slightest clue what went down inside the Lady Gators locker room in 2012, but clearly the younger sibling learned how to appropriately handle conflict somewhere. Who better to model herself after than her sisters that were booted off a college softball team for reasons that remain vaguely undisclosed?!
In all seriousness, I'm not giving Coach Walton a pass here. As someone that's spent years working with college girls, he has to know better than to respond to an obvious act of aggressive passiveness. The slight shove to the shoulder wasn't that big of a deal, but he should have known it was going to be treated as such when the person on the receiving end basically invited it by ignoring his high five. He fell hook, line, and sinker for a clear set-up to an inevitable blow-up that was less inconspicuous than a "it's fine" text. She set the stage with familial pettiness and he stuck his stupid hand right in the damn trap. Christ, I bet this dude is also the type to breathe a sigh of relief when his wife says she doesn't want to do gifts. This altercation is on him, and that's simply because he gave the aggressor the opportunity to play the victim by being too prideful to take it in stride when he was purposefully left hanging. Haley Fagan got exactly what she wanted. She didn't care about showing up an opponent's head coach. It was just bait to reel in the opportunity to scream in the face of the guy that had enough of her sisters' (probably similar) shit five years ago.
A Brazilian Soccer Club Just Signed A Keeper That's Fresh Out Of Prison For Killing His Ex-Girlfriend In Horrific Fashion
CNN- After serving seven years in prison for killing his ex-girlfriend and feeding her to dogs, Brazilian goalkeeper Bruno Fernandes de Souza is controversially back in the game, signed by Boa Esporte for two years.
In a lengthy post on its Facebook page, Boa Esporte's president, Rone Moraes da Costa, says the team isn't committing any crimes by signing the 32-year-old who formerly played for one of Brazil's most famous clubs -- Flamengo -- and was tipped to line up for the national team at the 2014 World Cup on home soil.
He could be back in action within a month and a half.
"Esporte Clube was not responsible for the release and freedom of the athlete Bruno," da Costa said, adding that the club was "giving work to those who intend to recover."
Bruno "deserves a new opportunity as a professional," the team said in a separate post. "The club has no relation with Bruno's personal actions, nor with his past, having hired only the professional."
Well then. Were you wondering how soccer hooligans could possibly consider a sport where the athletes "fall" over freshly cut landscaping more cutthroat than American football? If so, then Bruno Fernandes de Souza is here to provide you with the level of shock, disgust, and general discomfort that is more commonly elicited by violent crimes caught on casino cameras. Tough to argue that we here in the states are truly football crazed when homicidal futbol players in South America come out the clink with a multi-year contract in hand. Forget about the clear cultural differences in sentencing that had a 25 year old murderer roaming free at an age in which he's still considered an spry eligible bachelor, because the fact that he's already professionally employed just made Roger Goodell channel his inner Denzel...
I'm not trying to play "which felony is worse?", but if I absolutely had to choose then domestic feedings have the upper hand on domestic abuse. Shit, if launching your girlfriend's slain corpse into a den of rottweilers only costs you seven years of your soccer career then the inexcusable actions of Tyreek Hill and Joe Mixon would probably only be punishable by a pat on the ass and a "try to do better next time". If only they had taken their talents to the pitch then their reputations would hardly have a dent. After all, when they boxed a couple broads it didn't result in actual carnage. Just imagine, all Greg Hardy had to do was get into footy at a young age and he'd still be competing at a high level to this day. It's not like acting like the human equivalent of a bloodhound is anywhere near as bad as legitimately having your hounds dine on human blood.
Don't get me wrong. If anything, football players should be more harshly disciplined for assaulting the fairer sex. However, next time you say to yourself "no one cares about soccer" remember that it took Michael Vick longer to get a new gig after his stint in prison than it took Bruno Fernandes de Souza, and the former was merely an accomplice in the killing of the types of dogs that the latter used to dispose of his ex-girlfriend. I don't mean to compare and contrast the reprehensible, but with how quickly Boa Esporte compromised their morals in hopes of upping their save percentage they basically shamed the shady business practices of the NFL into looking like the upstanding ethics of the PGA Tour.
It ain't right. It just ain't right. I'm not going to devote anything more than the next paragraph to correcting the wrong, but the fact that it took two grown men engaging in a fist fight that was more fitting of a high school hallway to get me to pay attention to NASCAR seems like a disservice to racers everywhere. Dangerous is generally synonymous with entertaining, but these guys weave through traffic while going damn near 200 MPH for a living and they had to roll around on the ground like drunken buffoons before they finally elicited a vesiceral reaction from me. The incident that caused this should have been way more exciting than the ensuing melee, but my heart didn't start pounding until Kyle Busch threw a weak cross that would make a 4th grade bully look like a badass. I suppose that's a result of the sport consisting of 500 treacherously monotonous laps, but - if you venture north of the Mason-Dixon line - the risk these dudes put themselves at is only paralleled by the lack of respect they get "rewarded" from the casual sports fan. I have no intention of making white dudes repeatedly driving around in a circle regular scheduled programming or anything crazy like that. However, those with a higher tolerance for boredom and an attention span that's a wee bit longer than Kyle Busch's fuse probably should. Not just because they are putting their health at risk behind the wheel, but because apparently the track is the only nationally broadcasted place to watch something that takes place in the living room of every home that houses more than one teenage son.
There's Something Inherently Amusing About MLS Fans Chanting "Move Bitch, Get Off The Pitch!" At An Injured Player
A lot of people would say it's the very definition of ironic that the sport whose athletes are most likely to embellish contact and exaggerate the extent to which they are hurt also has the most ruthless of fans that won't hesitate to mock the injured, but I think it actually makes perfect sense. Someone needs to uphold soccer's ever-so-delicate ecosystem. The officials certainly aren't going to put their whistle where their mouth is and penalize those that try to take advantage of a field of play that frowns upon "victim" blaming. Hell, if the fans weren't drunk, soulless assholes that relished in the opportunity to shame athletes for developing a limp then every shiesty midfielder would be out there diving their way to an advantage in manpower by "tripping" over out-of-place pieces of grass on a perfectly landscaped pitch.
If footy players didn't have to answer to the verbal assault from the visiting crowd then there would be so many guys on their back that you'd think the game was played on an ice rink. It's probably not an acceptable retort for women's games. but I appreciate the "move bitch, get off the pitch!" chant for exactly what it is - an all-too-rare collaboration of soccer and hip-hop that not flows seamlessly, but hopefully/maybe/theoretically prevents some people from participating in similar bitch-like shenanigans in the future. If the fear of being called a "bitch" by an angry, inebriated mob doesn't stop you from acting like a bitch like than nothing will. I didn't see the play that led to this dude's Peter Griffin-esque recovery process so I don't know if the cringing is legitimate, but I do think the reaction to it will have some of his peers pulling a Charlie Conway and ignoring Gordon Bombay's orders to take the fall just to act hurt.
DailyDot- When you win a gold medal in track and field, you get to run a victory lap. Those are the rules. Those have always been the rules. But for some reason, after winning the 1,500 meter finals at the European Indoor Athletics Championships on Saturday, Scotland’s Laura Muir was prevented from participating in her celebration. Not once, not twice, not three times. A race official stood on the track and physically prevented her from basking in the glory that track and field bestows upon its winners. Apparently, the official told Muir there wasn’t enough time for her to take the victory lap.
Perhaps the official forgot that Muir runs fast for a living. And apparently, she’s quite sneaky as well, because dammit, Muir was going to take her victory lap regardless of what anybody else said.
As for what Muir was thinking, she told reporters, via the Mirror, “I thought, ‘It’s my first medal. I’m not going to lose out on my lap of honor. I’m going.’ … I didn’t really say anything. I just thought, at the end of the day, she won’t be able to catch me.”
You know, it's a good thing someone at that event understands how much money time is worth. Granted, the official that made a spectacle of herself by trying to block a Gold medal-winning runner from participating in an age old tradition inevitably cost herself more of it. However, she didn't know that the athlete was going to say "fuck this" and use her athleticism to take advantage of the 7 additional lanes afforded to her by a regulation size track after the third time she got reprimanded for attempting to garner her deserved praise? Sure, the stickler's efforts were predictably futile, but at least she had the courage to stand on the tracks while the train was trying to get it's due. If there were no one there to uphold the sanctity of the clock then the precedent that it's okay to literally run a couple minutes late would have been set by a quick celebration that could have taken less than half the amount of time without the preceding argument with an uppity clipboard carrier! She may have looked like a moron with ass backwards priorities, but at least she did what was right by her watch...even if it backfired tremendously.
The Swedish Women's National Team Is Replacing Their Nameplates With Motivational Tweets For International Women's Day
FTW- According to Adidas — the makers of the team’s shirt — for a limited time the team has replaced each player’s name on the back of their shirts with inspiring tweets about female empowerment, all in honor of International Women’s Day on March 8th.
From says Niklas Bodell, Communication Manager on the Swedish Football Association, via a press release:
“The initiative is first and foremost about showing the power in togetherness, together with the national team, in which football and the womens national team’s great success are good examples. We also hope to inspire people to stand up for each other and for themselves, no matter who you are or where you come from.”
Some would say that replacing the last names of women with inspirational tweets and encouraging them to identify themselves by nothing more than 140 characters (max) and a number is - symbolically speaking - completely contradictory to the entire point of 'International Women's Day'. What those people don't seem to realize is that the only way to truly celebrate womanhood is by draining the pockets of those who feel compelled to buy gimmicky, limited-time-only merchandise that panders specifically to them.
It's not that I'm against marketing a great cause, but - as I duck and take cover - I just want to make it known that this is just a more subtle equivalent of the NFL selling a tight fighting pink version of all their products. Congrats to Adidas for targeting a proud (and thus vulnerable) demographic, but I have to imagine that it's only a matter of time before the eternally-marginalized members of the feminist movement take umbrage with Swedish women honoring their endless possibilities by turning their country's colors into a novelty tee shirt. Regardless of the importance of the messages, those jerseys are far from aesthetically pleasing and I highly doubt that anyone is going to heed the advice of a nameplate that says "believe in your damn self" when they would need the most technologically advanced binoculars to read it. I'm all in favor of equal rights, but the only equal right that is being memorialized here is the equal right to get exploited financially. Congrats ladies, you've officially made it! You can do anything men can do....including getting turned into glorified billboards by the "empowering" promotions of big business that will make undoubtedly donate a microscopic percentage of the profit to a suitable foundation!
Annnnd there's the inherent downside of having fans that are aptly titled "hooligans". They will literally kill on behalf of their soccer club, but if their soccer club happens to get in their way while they are doing so they don't have the emotional stability/sobriety to keep them from getting caught up in the crossfire. Without being present for this act of vandalism I can confidently say there was about .3 seconds of investigative research that went in to identifying the target as Middlesbrough's bus. By that, I mean that one guy - who I like to imagine was carrying a lit torch for dramatic effect - was stumbling around where he thought the opponent's mode of transportation might be, screamed "THERE!", and the damage was already half done before any accomplices could even mutter "...but, are you sure?".
I don't even think that Crystal Palace can be upset that their organization has to shell out a bunch of dough to get their wheels touched up, because it's a sign that their support section is in mid-season form. Hell, if I were them I might save the £40k and leave it as is. Imagine the intimidation factor of traveling into a rival city with your team name angrily scribed across the side of your coach? You don't have to watch too many movies that are set on the the bad side of town to know that the team that rolls around on the graffiti covered Greyhound is not to be fucked with. Might not be the most professional look in the world, but it is the most bad ass. Plus, embracing your fans' misguided disorderly conduct is 100x times easier than explaining it or paying for it.