A Coach In The National Women's Soccer League Was Suspended For Rubbing Dirt In An Official's Hand Following A Game
Unprofessional, to say the least. Irresponsible, to say the most. I just can't help but wonder when we are going to start holding the authority figures in sports accountable for their own actions? I mean, can you even imagine being an adult male that's childish enough to...fall for the old dirty handshake trick?!?
I mean, goodness gracious, can we get just a little bit of culpability? What kind of naive sucker is out there blindly shaking hands with people who clearly feel wronged by them? Granted, I personally wouldn't go digging through the playing surface in an effort to send an extremely immature message to a official when my role encourages me to lead by example. However, the only person who should be receiving supplemental discipline is the guy soiling his pants over his soiled palm. Sometimes you just have to wipe your hands clean of a well-executed, albeit wildly necessary and insanely juvenile, prank and tip your cap. If for no other reason then because taking the high road and laughing it off would have avoided this preposterously embarrassing story from doing a disservice to the legitimacy of women's sports by being the first and potentially last I've heard from the NWSL.
Reigning Masters Winner Sergio Garcia Put Up A Baker's Dozen On The 15th Hole After Sinking 5 Straight Balls In The Water
Feel free to call it an implosion. After all, in attempting to continue his reign at Augusta, Sergio Garcia put an entire fist full of balls into the same body of water while tying the record for the worst single hole performance in the history of a ridiculously prestigious event. To put it lightly, going from +2 to +10 in the blink of an eye is not your average, every day, run of the mill over-par.
That said, I think I'd consider it a blessing in a really, really, really good disguise. I mean, if you're going to cut short your chances of repeating then you might as well just rip the band-aid off. Flushing all the optimism down the toilet at once is the most efficient way I have found to enjoy an underwhelming day out on the links. It's entirely possible that Sergio Garcia just became the most relatable player on tour simply by rapidly sabotaging the entirety of a round in a fashion that was almost more intriguing than it was embarrassing. I'm sure he would have loved to remain competitive, but the one benefit to tying a cinderblock to your ball and leaving your odds of making the cut resting at the bottom of a newly crowded water hazard is that it allows you to play pressure-free golf.
I'm fairly certain the following is frowned upon, but if I were him I would get a nice buzz on and come out to play the second half of the 36 with a smile on my face and a green jacket on my back. There's something to be said about being able to ride out his last 18 holes as the Masters champ without a care in the world, and that "something" loosely translates to whatever Sergio Garcia was thinking when he showed up to Wimbledon dressed like this...
Tony Finau Got A Hole-In-One During A Par 3 Contest, Dislocated His Ankle Celebrating, And Was At Risk Of Having To Drop Out Of The Masters
Oh Tony. Tony, Tony, Tony. You just have to smarter than that, my man. It's never in one's best interest to tempt the golf gods with celebratory displays that are unbecoming of a gentleman's sport, but high-stepping all over the hallowed grounds of Augusta? He might have as well have been two-stepping on the graves of the legends that came, saw, conquered, and calmly fist-pumped before him on one of the most prestigious courses in all the land. Of course, I'd be liable to pull my dick out if - by the grace of blind luck - I got a hole-in-one on so much as a pitch-and-putt, but every time I step up to a tee I'm close to buzzed and far outside the jurisdiction of the PGA's holiest of thou.
To be honest, I'm a little surprised that the all-seeing-eye of Augusta sent nothing more than the turf monster to do his dirty work in forcing a wince-worthy misstep that Tony Finau somehow feels comfortable playing through. I would have thought that his 'Neon Deion' impersonation would have landed him a spiteful lightning strike, a la Caddy Shack. I guess the greenest of grass and the most glorious of weeks had the golf gods feeling generous, because limping through 36 holes is the least one can do after breaking the most conscientious of codes of conduct. Let that be a warning to Tony Finau that his individualistic dance moves will not be tolerated, or - more importantly - let it serve as a reminder to tie his shoes a little tighter before sprinting backwards in the non-athletic wear of tight white pants.
Christ on the cross that was ugly, and I don't mean that as a explicit statement that takes the Lord's name in vain, but rather an acknowledgement that standing around watching a man get railroad spikes driven into his limbs would have only been equally as cringeworthy as that interview. I would say that Ronda Rousey took it a step too far in shaming someone for misspeaking, but acting like she had absolutely no idea what Mike Golic was alluding to was actually the best acting she's ever done!
And so continues the tour of Ronda Rousey being the most emotionally fragile person to ever achieve national notoriety through the fracturing of limbs. God bless her for parlaying her MMA career into other business opportunities, but God forsake her being such an easily offended ninny at the mere mention of the sport that made her rich and famous.
Seriously, the last time Mike Golic got such an irritable rise out of someone was when he failed to put the toilet seat down. As far as sports media personalities are concerned, his lines of questioning are basically the equivalent of slow-pitch softball. Yet, the person who was once one of the most intimidating fighters in the world swung and missed so hard that she hurt her own damn feelings.
I'm truly glad that Ronda Rousey has found success in another walk of life after she looked like she sleepwalked into competitive bloodsport the last time she stepped into the octagon. However, if that walk of life is going to continue to lead her down a path as public as a WWE tarmac then she better cut out the snarky bullshit every single time someone mentions her only reason for relevance. Simply put, she doesn't have to be able to go back in time to accept her past in a way that doesn't make everyone feel super uncomfortable in the present.
Neymar Honored The Late, Great Stephen Hawking By Tanning Shirtless In A Wheelchair, Or Something Like That
What, it's no longer the thought that counts? All the sudden, imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery? Any other long standing figures of speech we plan on denouncing in wagging the finger at a world renowned athlete for honoring the deceased in a way that trivialized Quadriplegia?
In all seriousness, I can why this tweeted tribute to someone who overcame a hell of a lot more than some tender tendons is problematic. Unfortunately, considering the source, I just can't get too worked up over this particular act of online stupidity. After all, it's not like I'm surprised that a soccer star with international celebrity is a self-involved narcissist. Hell, if there's a sport in which over-the-top vanity is expected from its participants then it's the one played predominantly by people with product in their hair. I have a sneaking suspicion that if you walked into a World Cup locker room 30 minutes prior to the match you might be met by a scene straight out of Project Runway. Therefore, the idea that Neymar tried to make someone's death about himself is no more shocking than the amount of baby oil Cristiano Ronaldo uses to lather the abs that he had bronzed and mounted above his mantle.
And let's take a look at things relatively. To those that are at high risk of having their legs cut out from under them by a sharp, freshly cropped blade of grass, a sore metatarsal and a sprained ankle might as well be an incurable degenerative disease. You know how many attempts it must have taken to capture Neymar with a smile on his face during this uncandidly candid shot? Probably had to hold down the picture button for two whole seconds before he was able to turn that discomfort-induced frown upside down, and we have the gall to criticize him for not being handicapped enough to compare himself to someone that revolutionized science without the use of his limbs?! For shame.
A Soccer Player Was Nearly Ejected Due To A "Who's On First?"-esque Misunderstanding With An Official
Unbelievable. Life imitating art. Who's on first, What's on second, and Watt's on his third misheard "what?" while nearing an early shower. I'd say you couldn't even script an interaction so infuriatingly confusing, but Abbott and Costello would sue me for defaming their cultural importance with such an ignorant suggestion.
Anyway, I typically chastise presumptuous officiating, but I begrudgingly sympathize with the ref here. As a self aware person who'd rather obliviously smile and nod than ask for further verbal clarification more than twice, I'd appreciate having the ability to eject everyone that doesn't participate in that practice out of whatever social setting I happen to be in at that particular time. I can't, in good conscience, criticize this official for being quick to throw someone out of a game when my trigger finger would be just as itchy if it were wrapped around a red card that could save me from repeating myself in a crowded bar.
Not to cross sports here, but I tend to think that a "three strikes and you're out" (with a strike being a use of the word "what?") policy works perfectly for society, never mind soccer. Just look at the numbers. The amount of Watt's inconvenienced by having their name misunderstood as a potentially condescending question pales in comparison to the amount of people that would be convenienced by having the ability to bring an abrupt end to nauseatingly repetitive conversations.
Sorry Sanchez, but this is one of the few cases in which I have the back of an overeager official. So work on your tone, or make sure you always have a third party present to explain it.
VICE- The vast majority of Russian athletes who could have competed at PyeongChang 2018 were banned from the Games due to Russia's widespread doping scheme uncovered in the wake of the Sochi Olympics. Certain athletes deemed to be "clean," however, were allowed to participate under the Olympic flag, as "Olympic athletes from Russia."
Since the start of the 2018 Olympics, two of the Russian athletes allowed to participate have been popped for doping. First, curler Alexander Krushelnitsky tested positive for meldonium—the same heart medication that got Maria Sharapova banned from tennis for 15 months. Today it was announced that bobsledder Nadezhda Sergeeva also tested positive for a banned heart medication. We don't know the specific medication that triggered the positive test, but we do know she has to upgrade her wardrobe...
I don't want to completely let this Russian bobsledder off the hook here. After all, she basically screen-printed skepticism across her chest days prior to getting popped for crushing more pills than a college student in need of a 36 hour cram session. Of all the teenagers to have gone walking through the park late at night with a 'D.A.R.E.' tee shirt on, not a single one of them has ever done so without - at the bare minimum - a one-hitter in their pocket. I don't know that there's a right way to trick people into thinking you're innocent, but seemingly sarcastically declaring it on your clothes in all caps is almost assuredly the wrong way.
However, let's not pretend that furthering herself from a scandal by way of wardrobe is a concept that this particular "Olympic Athlete from Russia" came up with all on her own. Nadezhda Sergeeva may have taken the strategy of dressing innocent to an extremely literal extent, but the IOC decided that rocking nondescript attire is the punitive measure for being found guilty of decades of blood doping. By that logic, why wouldn't a worn condemnation of steroids buy her at least a week free of its super strict testing? Maybe the governing body of the Olympic Games should look in the damn mirror, because they set the precedent that what's on the outside can cover up what's on the inside when they let a crime ridden country identify themselves by the name of a popular American rock band as their biggest punishment.
P.S. We've now had a curler and bobsledder get busted. Just goes to show that Russian athletes are just as dumb as they are deceitful since it's pretty common knowledge that ice is nature's steroid.
Kim Jong-Un, eat your goddamn heart out! Seriously, I haven't seen evil intentions result in such an undeniably hilarious scene since the last time North Korea tested an explosive!
If you watch enough professional sports you come to realize that some franchises - no matter how often they change personnel - are just destined to fail. The harder they try to avoid repeating history, the sillier they end up looking when they inevitably do. I don't know if that phenomenon is one that translates to international competition, but if that's the case then they might as well be considered the North Koreveland Browns.
Seriously, if he's not just a product of a counterproductive environment then how else would you explain our boy Jong Kwang Bom going from proud Olympian to the Wile E. Coyote of the speed skating world with the sound a gunshot that appeared to have been aimed at his achilles? If that forehead-slapping folly wasn't the result of an origin-fulfilling prophecy then it's an all-time coincidence, because acting maliciously and executing laughably while bearing your colors shamelessly as a clear and present danger to no one but yourself makes him the perfect athletic representative for North Korea!
Norway's Mixed Doubles Curling Team Wants A Medal Ceremony For The Bronze They Feel Robbed Of By The Russian Doping Scandal
LBS- Norway’s team of Kristin Skaslien and Magnus Nedregotten lost the bronze medal match to the Olympic Athlete from Russia team of Anastasia Bryzgalova and Aleksandr Krushelnitskiy 8-4 at the Gangneung Curling Centre last week. Things changed though after Krushelnitskiy tested positive for banned substance meldonium.
If the Russian team gets stripped of its bronze medal, Nedregotten says he would want to have a medal ceremony before the Games end.
“Knowing that they may have had an advantage against us in our games through cheating feels horrible,” he said, via The Guardian “If he is found guilty, then they’ve robbed us of our moment of glory, receiving our medal in the stadium. That’s not cool. That’s hard to accept, feeling that you’ve been kept out of the light."
“Obviously he is not guilty before he is convicted. But it is confirmed, the preferred option for us would be to receive the bronze medal at some point during the remainder of the Olympics.”
Many have found it humorous that someone would be caught using a banned substance in curling because they wonder how it helps. But Nedregotten believes the substance can help players stay mentally acute and help them recover in between matches. He says sweepers can get sore in between matches, and with a crammed schedule, that could make a big difference.
I want to say that these Norwegians need to find the nearest mirror and do a little self reflection. Even with the non-identified country in question being needle deep in a steroid scandal that cost them the ability to fly their own damn flag during international competition, this juicing allegation of the mixed doubles curler that is formerly known as Russian is far and away the most comical thing to happen at the Olympics. Integrity of the glorified hobby be damned. Referencing soreness caused by sweeping in demanding a pity ceremony for a third place medal that you will have won completely by default would comparatively make Michigan look justified in holding a Championship parade over the weekend to celebrate Louisville's recently vacated NCAA title from 2013. So yeah, I don't think it's crazy to say that most rational competitors would be too proud to accept an honorable mention that meets only the lowest possible bar as a "moment of glory".
Here's the thing though. A lack of self awareness is intrinsic to the existence of curling. It's absence isn't just helpful, but necessary in encouraging people to devote four years of their life (at a time) to intensely crafting their ability to gently push rocks down an icy aisle. If curlers took themselves as seriously as they probably should take themselves then by rule they would be required to have an open beer in hand during gameplay. I actually appreciate these Norwegians for being so invested in stone sliding that they have convinced themselves that a little artificial strength can have a significant effect on it's outcome. It's that type of commitment to the cause that has them, as well as their peers, furrowing their brows as they spend so much time lining up their shot in Canadian shuffleboard that you'd think they were playing American shuffleboard at an old folks home.
So god bless Kristin Skaslien and Magnus Nedregotte. Without them caring far too much about being recognized for their efforts, watching those efforts would be about as intriguing as spectating the last beer pong game of the night.
An Arizona Cheerleader Got Tossed For Talking Trash, And I'm Ready To Reconvene On The "Is It A Sport?" Debate
It's about damn time that undying optimism and those relentless vocal chords were used for something other than white noise! Personally, I've never questioned the athleticism of cheerleaders - of their gender - out of fear that they might respond by challenging me to do a split or hold up another human being with nothing more than my palm. I have, however, taken umbrage with the idea that something can be considered a sport when there's typically not a winner or loser.
That said, while this megaphone-toting Wildcats enthusiast might not have physically been out there contributing anything to a final score, he was giving his team a mental edge by drawing the ire of the officials, chirping members of the opposition by name, and becoming a galvanizing force by which the team could rally around. Nothing provides a shot in the arm to the active roster quite like a good old fashioned, principled ejection, especially when it doesn't - in any way - deplete the active roster.
I'm still not ready to call cheerleading a sport, but the counterargument just got a little bit stronger. If the participants are going to become noticeably invested in them in a way that gets under the skin of those who are actually out there competing then it's undeniably sports-adjacent...and not just because they tend to spell out their cliched chants court side.
“Double-twisting double summersault. Not a massive degree of difficulty. Very nicely done, great control. Very Chinese. They all look the same. Very hard to tell who’s who.”
As someone that takes a perverse sense of pleasure in awkwardness being brought to me live and in living color, I must say that the Olympics have been virtual treasure trove of people talking themselves into trouble. It feels like every other day there's either a cultural or semantical misunderstanding that needs to be addressed, and nothing - and I mean nothing - encapsulates that quite like a broadcaster dropping the one line you must steer clear of when talking about Asian athletes. Like, whatever notes Jacqui Cooper was keeping on the event should have had "don't talk about the visual similarities of the Chinese" written in Sharpie and underlined 6-8 times. I'm sure her analysis was only more accurate than it it was innocent, but the fact that she confidently and unapologetically dropped a "they all look the same" is not only hilarious, but it's also so perfectly representative of just how difficult it is to avoid misspeaking amongst the most mixed of company.
The only thing that could have sounded worse on initial listen would have been if she made mention of some sort of inherent limitation of eyesight. Poor lady did her due diligence into the training techniques of every country she was covering and all it got her was tentatively labeled a simple-minded racist. If that's not a sign that no broadcaster - from the most ignorant to the most educated - is totally safe from the tangled web of words that is the English language then I don't know what the hell is.
Bode Miller Implied That Marriage May Have Affected An Olympic Skier's Performance, And He's Probably Never Been More Accurate
You know, when I first saw that Bode Miller - of 60 Minutes, "if you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy!" fame - was trying to soften the blow of something he said on a broadcast, I thought I was going to be treated to at least a mild controversy. I'm honestly a little disappointed, because the only thing questionable about that unorthodox analysis was who it could have possibly offended.
I know for a fact that it's not married people, because those with a ring on their finger are always the first to bitch about the trials and tribulations that are attached to it. Never mind putting in the amount of work necessary to compete in a solo high speed sport against the best of the best from around the entire globe, do you know what else becomes more difficult when every aspect of your life becomes entangled with that of another? Literally everything. Considering that relationship weight is a very real thing, I would say the hurdle that is making the most of your gym membership becomes higher upon the consummation of a legal partnership, so what - are we to pretend that reaching the peak of your athletic potential as an all-world athlete is any different? It's common knowledge that taking shit in your own bathroom requires more of a thought process when you're sharing it with someone else, but we're going to act like there's nothing about a recently shared residency that could stand in the way of someone making the most of themselves as an Olympian?
I certainly wouldn't say it's her husband's fault that she underperformed as anything other than a joke - just like Bode Miller did - but I'd argue the institution of marriage as a whole probably made that clock tick as fast as the biological one she was trying to beat. The term "ball and chain" is typically used tongue-in-cheek, but every sarcastic figure of speech contains at least a little bit of truth and I would imagine even the most lightweight of shackle is enough to slightly slow down your slalom. Equating her recently altered marital status to her performance on the slopes might be socially frowned upon, but so is voicing your frustration with your significant other outside of your marriage and people do that all the goddamn time.
Saying that a wedding - one that took extensive planning, mind you - didn't negatively affect Anna Veith's skiing is just as disingenuous as me arguing that the selfish and self-involved life of a single male is super stressful. The Hallmark holiday that was underway when he said this is proof positive that the only thing that's more high maintenance than tinkering with a top-end skill so as to take fractions of a second off the time it takes you to maneuver down the steepest of icy declines is eternal love. Hell, even the drunk dude on the mountain knows that.
We Have A Disputed Racial Dispute Between Tennis Pros, But - Due To His Own Words - It's Not Looking Great For The Accused
"If that happened on a football field, everyone would laugh and say, '15-yard penalty" and move on. You move forward and try to take it in stride. At the end of the day, you see everybody, you like everybody and you want to be friends and friendly with everybody, but everybody out here I compete against, even the ones I like, they are the ones trying to take away my livelihood. I have to do what I can to get through, and I was proud of myself for doing that." - Ryan Harrison (h/t ShreveportTimes)
I'm not sure whether or not the words exchanged between Ryan Harrison and Donald Young Jr. were inappropriate in nature, nor am I going to make any guesses as to what they might have been. I wouldn't know either player if they walked up to me in the middle of the street and began beating me over the head with their personalized racquets, so I'm most certainly not qualified to blindly judge the content of their character.
That's why I'll leave it at this. If the best defense of the accused is "it would only be worthy of a 15-yard penalty on a football field" then the accused better tighten his grip on the proverbial soap, because that will quickly have him receiving the broad end of the gavel in the court of public opinion.
In fairness to Ryan Harrison, a snowball would probably stand a better in hell then he would on the gridiron, but has he even watched the barbaric game he just used for cross-sport comparison? I can't help but think he's severely undervaluing what it might take to talk yourself into a 15 yard penalty during an NFL game, because 'punishably depraved' by the standards of those that combat each other in competitive assault belongs no where near a tennis court unless said tennis court is being used to host an organized purge. Granted, most are exchanged between members on the same race, but I feel pretty confident in saying that slurs (of varying degrees) fly far more frequently than flags throughout a football game. Therefore, deeming his trash talk during a gentleman's game to be fitting of the type of infraction one receives when they take a decade off the lifespan of a defenseless wide receiver probably isn't in his best interest.
To his own point, it's all relative. However, contrary to his point, 15 yards on a football field roughly equates to 5-to-10 years of imprisonment in society, which roughly equates to approximately 25-to-community service (pending appeal and under-the-table pay off, of course) in the high society where professional tennis functions.
Again, I'm not saying whether or not he's guilty of racist rhetoric, but - unless he was out there chanting the mission statement of the KKK - he's definitely guilty of having an elementary understanding of the type of unforgivable things that are said between the whistles during contact sports.
A Dutch Speed Skater Is Being Criticized For Sort of, Maybe Giving The Middle Finger While Posing On the Podium
In pretty much any other case I would have no reason to assume I was looking at anything other than abnormal hand placement. Unfortunately, Sjinkie Knegt's last foray into disappointment on a international stage produced the following gem...
Therefore, due to a past precedent of objectionable gestures as well the conclusive research I did by picking up random objects around my apartment without my most socially frowned upon finger awkwardly sticking out for no reason, I must say I have a hard time believing this non-explanation for it...
Knegt said, "It looked like I put up the middle finger. It's not intended … I just looked very bad in the photo, but it was not on purpose. I was just holding the medal." (h/t KoreaTimes)
That being said, the fact that it's even up for a debate is a pretty big step in the right direction, is it not? The Dutch speed skater should probably stop punctuating every failed attempt at winning a gold medal with a public "fuck you", but let's not pretend he hasn't come a long way. It's not like having four years of training become all for naught in a literal blink of a eye has become an easier pill for him to swallow. Yet somehow, he went from gliding through millions upon millions of television screens throughout the world with both his middle fingers raised skyward in the direction of his opponent to probably, but maybe not sending an understated bird towards the slick surface that was clearly at fault for slowing him done.
Still not the best look for someone who knows from experience better than to break from the holier than thou virtues of the Olympic Games, but that might as well have been a congratulatory handshake and a bow in comparison to his last "attempt" at sportsmanship. Who knows, maybe by 2022 he'll have learned to sneak a muddled expletive in between a couple fake coughs? Perhaps 2026 is the year he either wins or avoids looking like a sore of loser. Whatever the case may be, the fact that we are questioning the intention of his middle finger is proof positive that it's well on its way to moving in conjunction with the rest of his fingers. The mark of dedicated athlete is improvement, and that means displaying his frustrations more subtly while being closer in defeat is a victory in and of itself.
Watching A Staffer Chase A Runaway Walkie Talkie Down A Ski Slope Might End Up Being The Highlight Of The Winter Olympics
I'm not going to lie to you. A part of me is genuinely concerned that - before I even knew they had started - the rest of the Winter Olympics have already been overshadowed by this non-participant's "will she, won't she" chase down of a walkie-talkie that, from a comedic standpoint, would have benefited greatly from being fast forwarded at 4X and set to the Benny Hill theme. I'll tune into another event or two out of fear of being labeled un-American, but if they don't get my heart pumping like that real-life dollar-bill-on-a-string routine then you can just expedite the closing ceremonies as far as I'm concerned.
Maybe that's because I find most snow sports - no matter how high speed - to be rather monotonous and predictable after awhile. Maybe it has to do with my undying frustration with the absence of NHL players in South Korea. Maybe it's because I take a disproportional amount of pleasure in watching people fail in a repetitive and embarrassing fashion.
Whatever the case may be, you absolutely cannot deny that you were on the edge of your seat for the entirety of what became an up-and-down, enthralling display of perseverance. The way that largely antiquated piece of technology just ever-so-slowly slipped from her fingertips like the frozen corpse of DiCaprio almost made me forget that the athletic feat placed in front of her was really just untimed human fetch.
Perhaps the editing that went into the production of this viral clip is swaying my opinion, but grease up some two-ways, launch them down icy declines, have the most agile athletes from each country do all that is necessary catch up to them as quickly as possible, and you'll have my viewership each and every time. At the very least, that's more than can be said for that boring ass cross country skiing bullshit.
Spencer Brown, A White (Now Former) Tennis Player At Appalachian State, Told His Black Opponent "At Least I Know My Dad" Mid-Match
NYPost- A white men’s college tennis player has been suspended after a black opponent tweeted that his on-court rival told him “at least I know my dad” during their weekend match.
Appalachian State University in North Carolina issued a statement Monday saying Spencer Brown, who’s white, was suspended indefinitely after Sunday’s match with North Carolina A&T State University, a historically black college. Appalachian State apologized in its statement, calling the conduct “derogatory and offensive.”
John Wilson, the black player who is also A&T’s senior class president, said Brown made other offensive comments during Sunday’s NCAA Division I match. The tweet included a photo of Brown.
“After yesterday’s men’s tennis match, an Appalachian State student-athlete engaged in behavior that was derogatory and offensive,” Appalachian State said in a release. “This student-athlete has been suspended indefinitely from the team, effective immediately, for violating the student-athlete discipline policy."
Shit Toto, looks like someone's not within the predominantly white, extremely judgmental walls of his daddy's country club anymore!
Now, if I were dealt the impossible and unfortunate task of defending the sheltered, spoiled teenager that decided to interrupt a gentleman's game with something as unbecoming as overt racism, I would probably say that the whole reason Spencer Brown got into tennis was so that he wouldn't happen upon anyone that looked differently than him. College is a learning experience and there's just no way this freshman had to worry about crafting his insults based on anything other than an inferior taste in loafers when he was serving on behalf of some upscale private high school. Imagine his surprise when he encountered an intimidating group of black dudes that were suspiciously awaiting him on the court as opposed to be closely trailed throughout the pro shop.
Admittedly, that's a pretty shitty attempt at damage control that's about as likely to slow the roll of Black Twitter in indicting him on prejudice fuck boi charges as a Pepe meme, but what do you expect? When you bring up the socioeconomic problems that disproportionally plague the African American community out of pure frustration following a double fault you lose the right to form a guest list of people who are allowed to get in on destroying your reputation.
This may come as a surprise to both Spencer Brown and a Head Coach who are both still getting used to this whole "dark-skinned athlete playing a racquet sport" phenomenon, but having a token on the roster doesn't give you automatic access to his/her black card. So maybe, just maybe, let's assume going forward that all opponents - regardless of race, color, or creed - have maintained some sort of mutually beneficial relationship with their father. If for no other reason than because failing to do so is a pretty good way to get your mentions flooded, your ass whooped, and your college career rapidly disposed of.
We've Got A Good Old Fashioned Golf Controversy, Highlighted By A Caddy Getting Pegged With A Head Cover
What caused it:
3) Gilmore, Not so happy.
Only in a sport that takes itself far too seriously could something like this happen, and by that I don't mean that other athletes don't react immaturely to bad news or mistreat the poor schlubs tasked with carrying their shit and catering to the fragile psyche of a frustrated competitor. On the contrary, I do mean that only on golf's professional circuit could the meaning of the word "fuck" be misinterpreted.
I want to say that this self-important tour official should be ashamed of himself for not using common sense to decode the obvious context of the word used most liberally by literally every person who has even causally hit the links. Unfortunately, I think he's just a product of his own repressed environment. This caddy had to get pegged in the face with a head cover on national television solely because golf's overly strict regulations don't allow for the un-bunching of panties or for expletives to be treated as answers. Meanwhile, out here in reality, a strongly annunciated obscenity is as decisive a response as "yes" or "no".
I mean, if Rhein Gibson been asked for a clarification it likely would have been something along the lines of "what the hell do you think?", and considering my newfound familiarity with his temperament, it damn well might have been accompanied by a green-side spanking. Even in the most proper of workplace, "fuck" should be as emphatic a conversation ender as you will possibly encounter, but the point is that a piece of private property that's been perfectly landscaped for the smacking around of a ball shouldn't be considered the most proper of workplace.
So, for fuck's sake, maybe it's time to loosen the reigns on the sport that thinks it's too formal for the type of language that an untimely slice most often elicits. If not in the interest of making it more relatable then in the interest of every glorified bell hop whose worst case scenario is becoming noticeable to the casual observer...
ThePlayersTribune- “I learned that I was getting cut by Team SoloMid by browsing reddit.
I know. It’s the saddest thing ever. In esports you have to get used to a certain amount of chaos and mismanagement. I mean, this industry is so young, and there are so many roster moves every single offseason — and everyone knows that you’re not supposed to take a roster reshuffling personally.
But still, you’d prefer not to learn that you were out of a job from the internet. I woke up, made my way to the League of Legends subreddit as I do almost every day, and there it was at the top of the page: “TSM looking to sign Zven and Mithy.”
Our loss at worlds this year was disappointing, but if I’m being honest, I was expecting us to run back the same roster next year. I immediately grabbed my phone and called Andy Dinh, the owner of TSM and someone I still count as a close friend. I asked, “Is this true?” He gave me the usual careful non-answer: “We’re just exploring our options! Nothing is set in stone yet.”
I saw right through that fluff. I knew that TSM didn’t just wake up one Sunday morning and decide that they were better off without me. This is clearly something they’ve been mulling over for a long time. I thanked Andy, and told him that I needed to figure out what my other options are. There was no way I was gonna go into the next League season without a team. He agreed, and suddenly I was a free agent again.”
Wait, is that disrespectful? Like, are the bowels of Reddit not an acceptable medium by which to deliver bad news in the gaming world? Perhaps I need to educate myself on an increasingly popular online "athletics" and the protocol of it's participants, but - for news the average person doesn't give a shit about - a hard-to-find extension of a difficult-to-explain website seems like the perfect cycle. I didn't even know eSports had rosters or offseasons so I'm not one to call into question someone who feels slighted by how his transaction was communicated to him during his downtime, but wouldn't a private phone call, text, and e-mail seem oddly outdated for those whose competitive oats are sewn via WiFi?
Personally, I think Yiliang “Doublelift” Peng should brush off the relatively public embarrassment, and just start some anonymous thread bashing his former organization like any scorned, deep-internet dwelling technological savant would do. Even pro sports can be the coldest of cutthroat businesses, so I'm not necessarily surprised that emotional detachment is even less likely in leagues in which awkward "face-to-face" interactions can be ceased with the pulling of a plug.
Russia's Punishment For Their History Of Olympic Doping Is Essentially That They Now Have To Dress Stupid While They Compete
TheComeback- The Russian Olympic Assembly recently voted to participate in the 2018 Olympics under a neutral flag, which is allowed by the International Olympic Committee as long as those granted permission to compete agree to follow outlined rules...
...that means there will be a Russian hockey team in the games. Earlier this week, a possible leaked image of the proposed jersey for the “Russian” team were unearthed to give a glimpse as to what the team could look like. It basically looks like the generic hockey team’s uniform you create in a video game’s custom-team mode...
Ha! Take that Russia! That'll teach your most prominent athletes to stop compromising the integrity of international competition by transfusing their blood with that of the region's most fertile steed! This might seem like slap-on-the-wrist public shaming that would have a more dire effect on the reputation of a runway model. However, if overused sports' cliches have taught me anything it's that it's basically impossible for The Red Army to either feel good or play good when they look like they've been clothed by The Salvation Army. Bet they won't be able to fully appreciate the experience while having to glance down at their boring ass uniforms and accept that they are merely a resident of their country, as opposed to a representative for it. Suck on those semantics, you unsportsmanlike substance abusers.
Honestly, I don't particular care that the Russian training regime is more dependent on needles than the art of acupuncture. They tend to be sub-par in the only sports that I care about, so maybe those growth hormones were necessary in making sure their athletic performance on a global stage wasn't embarrassingly pubescent. I suppose that remains to be seen as their upcoming inclusion is coming at the expense of both drugs and what little fashion sense they appeared to have.
That said, if you're the IOC maybe it's smart to set a precedent that creating a culture of unlawfully playing above the field for years on end isn't only punishable by the wearing of a jersey that might as well say "I did Russian steroids and all I got was this stupid t-shirt". Keeping in mind some of fads I have fallen victim to in the past, throwing on something that serves as a scarlet letter for a week or two seems like a pretty small price to pay to continue playing for a gold medal. Especially since surrounding a boring logo with generic font is generally the way in which locally-run youth leagues weed out the kids who don't have a true love for the game.
Finally, a step up in competition! It appears Greg Hardy is still trying to beat the pants off defenseless people with C-cups, but at least it seems safe to presume that this human gelatin mold waddled into the octagon willingly.
Some might say that the disgraced professional athlete is doing about as good of a job punching his way up the ladder of mixed martial artists as a blind kid playing Mortal Kombat since he's yet to scrap his way past the greased pig that awaits him at the next stage of opponents. Unfortunately, those people clearly don't understand how far he had to come after kicking off his MMA career by domestically abusing his way out of the NFL (after a short stint of observation by Jerry Jones' parole board).
Yeah, it's a little sad that he's yet to take on someone with a fighting chance since going full-time in unmitigated violence, but let's not forget what happened last (first?) time he challenged someone that was prepared to fight back. Wouldn't want to rush a revenge match and have him looking like a helpless victim in there...