Welp, you heard the man. He'd love to answer to his "unpatriotic" display of apathy that took place on the same day in which an American city was fighting over whether or not people that look like Marshawn deserve to be Lynch'd. Unfortunately, it appears that a failure to properly exterminate the room had that motherfuckin' mastodon checking out of it before it even made it's inevitably polarizing presence felt.
Man, what are the odds?! Finally got that damn elephant to make an appearance for the first time since Saturday, and all the sudden a mouse comes along and scares it away before Marshawn Lynch even has a chance to address it in a totalllly original way that deffffinitely would have opened the minds of those that have been so incredibly accepting of multi-cultural ways of thinking in the past.
In all honesty, I love the visual of a Raiders' PR director running up and telling Marshawn Lynch that he should have a response prepared for when the media undoubtedly asks him about sitting during the 'National Anthem', and Marshawn Lynch being like "eh, I think I'm just going to deflect blame onto an invisible rodent". May not be the most professional or powerful of messages, but it brought a pretty swift end to the "distraction" that has cost Colin Kaepernick a job. There definitely aren't too many players other than 'Beast Mode' that can get away with that answer, which really just goes to show that you're probably better off making it known that you don't give a fuck if you're going to do something that pisses a bunch of people off.
That rant was practice, right? That long winded, rhetorical string of why's that would put a 5 year old's inquisitiveness to shame and questioned the entire existence of college football and sports media as a whole absolutely had to be Nick Saban's attempt at turning nothing into something just to prove to himself that he still can.
As is annually the case, there will be a point in the season when he needs to motivate his stacked team by angrily acting like two missed tackles in a 25 point shellacking is a legitimate cause for concern, and this was his way of making sure he was prepared to irrationally overreact at a random moment's notice. It's either that, or he found the longest possible way to say "good", because I am pretty sure that's all that was required to answer a question as harmless as "how does Christian Miller look in practice?".
That's why I have never been more positive that Alabama's forever-agitated head coach isn't just using training camp to get his soon-to-be NFL caliber players ready to beat the piss out of the vast majority of their schedule. He's also using it to get himself ready by bitching the curiosity out of the vast majority of SEC reporters who are contractually obligated to create relatively crappy content during the dog days of summer.
You know what, I think I can get on board with this. I've made clear the quickness with which I roll my eyes when a '28-3' joke is made. It's a make-or-break year in New Orleans, and I am much more concerned with making sure this recurring 7-9 nightmare isn't actually a curse in disguise. So no, I don't particularly care that the Falcons spent billions of dollars on a retractable anus that is too constipated to work properly, or that they accidentally trolled the tastebuds of the few fans whose voices aren't artificial piped in by putting an inoperable Chuck-Fil-A on their own damn concourse. The Saints are going to need to prove to me that they - themselves - aren't a laughing stock before I turn to the futility of the franchise that appears to be ripe for a Super Bowl hangover as a source of humor.
That said, if you can effortlessly fit a joke about your rival's historical incompetence into your everyday life then you almost have to do it, right? Knowing Atlanta, this server was probably not only below average, but also didn't give a damn about the Falcons. That's why turning her slightly sub-20% tip into a gratuitous joke at the expense of her hometown comes off as more situationally aware than comically incompetent. You start reaching for half-ironic placements of the numbers 28, 3, or 25 and you show your lack of wit pretty quickly. However, if you are put in a position where you absolutely have to do math then it might as well add up to the demise of Matt Ryan.
Hmm, why do I feel like I have seen something like this before?
Oh yeah, that's it!
You know what, I have to give credit to Texas State. The only thing worse than having to literally spell out the most basic of crimes - in size 320 font - on the wall of your facility is breaking your own "core value" by outright stealing that idea from a coach that was equally untrusting (and rightfully so) of his athletes. That said, they managed to avoid an accusation of plagiarism by using some clever linguistics and being more thorough with their ban of all armory. That's how you set an example for the kids who are going to need that education after failing to extend their football careers after facing the weakest of FBS competition. Don't put the work in and develop your own, distinct set of "Core Values". Just copy it from more accomplished people! I'm sure Charlie Strong will be honored to find out that he provided the proverbial cheat sheet to a lesser known program that was at least nice enough to change up the lettering and ever-so-slightly alter the wording of the rules their players already should have learned by the time they graduated elementary school!
Serious question, does throwing this all-too-obvious shit up on the wall rid universities of liability, or does it just give college coaches a false sense that making a player walk past a monstrous wall decoration was all they could do to prevent him from lying about where he stole his guns and drugs from after assaulting his girlfriend?
Delvin Breaux's "Contusion" Was Actually A Fractured Fibula, And The Saints Have Finally Fired Members Of Their Medical Staff
First, the bad news. A team that has a notoriously crappy defense and has started slower than a '79 Buick the last few seasons will be without it's long-presumed starting cornerback during what appears to be the most difficult stretch of their schedule. The fact that he was reportedly being shopped no longer matters, because now someone that was (somewhat pathetically) one of the most proven members of the secondary won't be able to contribute by play or by exchange for at least a month. I thought that moving Delvin Breaux for an inevitable underpayment would have been a huge mistake, and that's because - when healthy - he's exponentially more valuable to the Saints than he is anyone else. This injury news makes a trade that seemed unlikely (if not stupid) anyway an impossibility, but it also leaves a gapping hole on the outside of defense that will never not need improvement.
Now, the good news. Delvin Breaux is - in fact - not a baby back bitch that can't play through a bruise, and the two weeks he has spent not healing from a fractured fibula ultimately got a medical staff that is historically delayed (if not incompetent) in diagnosing injuries (i.e. doing their fucking job) canned for good. I highly doubt that adding some new orthopedists can hamstring Brandin Cooks from stretching the field come Week 2, but if they aren't illiterate when it comes to reading an x-ray then they will be a welcomed addition to the organization in the long term.
It's a massive failure - on so, so many levels - that a franchise whose locker room has seemed eternally invested by the injury bug was employing doctors that made Doogie Howser look deserving of his M.D. I don't know how many man games were unnecessarily lost or how careers were careened due to at least minimal malpractice over the years. I do know that I feel more comfortable knowing that someone other than Delvin Breaux lost their fucking job when the black-and-blue that had his coaches questioning his toughness and his front office questioning his trade value was really a broken bone. Players that were put in Keenan Lewis' position (see below) could potentially see it differently, but - goddamn it - better late than never...
If This Clip Of His Teammate Taunting Him To His Face Is Any Indication, Robert Aguayo Never Had A Chance
And let that be a lesson to any organization that - for some reason - still thinks it's a justifiable decision to address a need at placekicker with a second round pick. Never mind that it's absurdly irresponsible asset management when that position can be just as adequately filled outside of the draft, because the unspoken truth is that selecting a kicker that early basically dooms his career before it even begins. We can laugh at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for placing a laughably high value on Robert Aguayo, but let's fall back on laughing at Robert Aguayo who only lost his job after being put in a no-win position.
Every single player that was making less money than the guy that was tasked solely with kicking a couple balls every practice (and make no mistake, there were a lot of them) was already inclined to talk shit to the dude that undeservedly went ahead of them. You think Chris Baker was the first teammate to intentionally tap dance on a brain that was made fragile by the inherent pressure that comes with being selected on Day 2 of the draft as someone that plays a position that almost immediately makes them an outcast? Hell no. The Bucs' coaches were probably encouraging that type of behavior to simulate the tensions of an actual NFL game.
Robert Aguayo was probably too damn high strung the second he lined up on the first day of his rookie training camp with expectations that were literally impossible to meet. With what their team invested in him, Tampa Bay players and fans wouldn't have been happy unless he somehow kicked field goals that counted for 5 points. Of course that burden weighed on the guy that likely became the target of direct taunts and blatant disrespect from pissed off players as soon as their hard work went for naught. Robert Aguayo might not be cut out for the NFL, but the Buccaneers certainly didn't help his chances when they had a spotlight shining in his eyes before he even got a chance to introduce himself to his holder. Simply out, you might go a little wide left too if you had the aggravations of an entire organization intimidatingly chirping over your right shoulder.
Just Like The Red Wings, The Detroit Lions Had To Denounce Their Affiliation With the White Supremacists Using Their Logo
Huh. Who knew that neo-nazis marching around town using fire sticks as their weapon of choice while preaching about a "master race" and promoting a regressive set of societal beliefs in the year 2017 lacked originality? Honestly, I'm stunned that the people that have been patiently waiting in their parents' basements for abject racism to resurface while projecting their hate for themselves on people of differing races, colors, and creeds aren't the most creative bunch.
When I saw that a group of white supremacists had adopted someswatstified version of the Detroit Red Wings' logo I figured that they were just too lazy to come up with their own brand recognition. Now that they have also attempted to re-inappropriate the Detroit Lions' logo there is only one thing that could possibly be true. The alt-right hasn't taken a hard left outside of the self-promotional box they use as their sounding board since they first decided to embrace the ideology of a long deceased German dictatorship. Stealing trademarks has only become their schtick because it falls in line with the fact that innovation isn't exactly their thing. Of course white nazionalists have incorporated the intellectual property of proud sports' franchises that have been around since before Hitler started thinking for those that would eventually ended up missing the bus to the 21st century.
What else were they supposed to do? Generate their own thoughts and ideas? You do realize we are talking about the same folks that still use the word "tradition" as a crutch while continuing to salute a flag that became obsolete for over a century and a half ago, right? I can't believe it took us this long to realize they came up with their "coat of arms" while squinting at the television of Sunday afternoon and actively trying not to root for the black players on their favorite team.
July 17: Whitehead took to Instagram to announce his dog had been stolen and held for ransom. A rapper by the name of Boogotti Kasino had Whitehead’s dog but claimed he wasn’t holding it for ransom. He returned the dog the next day.
July 24: Virginia Police announced that it had issued a warrant for Whitehead’s arrest for shoplifting.
July 24: The Cowboys release Whitehead following the announcement.
July 25: Virginia Police announce that Whitehead was not the man they were looking for. It was a case of mistaken identity.
August 15: Jets coach Todd Bowles announces that Whitehead suffered a broken foot in practice.
Was the fact that Lucky Whitehead got cut for a crime he didn't commit after someone used his personal information not enough of a sign that the dude needed some new personal information? I'm not a big believer in omens, but after having that rough of a month could switching your nickname to literally anything even slightly less ironic really hurt? At his point, he should just change things up so that he doesn't have to go on the internet and see people that somehow think they are original make the same nauseatingly repetitive joke over and over again.
If I were him I would just cut ties with all of my most attention-worthy characteristics. It's not that I think doing so will end help his streak of head scratching misfortune, but at least if it continues it won't be attached to the name that now universally serves as a paradox. As a kick returner on a talentless wasteland of a roster he's just forgettable enough to get away with shaving his dreads, creating a brand new government alias, and having his next couple of seemingly inevitable unfortunate circumstances fly under the radar on a (potentially) winless team. At least that's what I would do as a luckless 'Lucky' in a world in which everyone with an online presence thinks they are a comedian.
ESPN's Live Fantasy Football Auction Probably Could Have Benefited From A Little Bit More...Uhh...Color
Annnnd here's the end result when you watch 'Get Out', and think "hey, that scene where they sold off the black guy's athletic ability to the highest of extremely white bidders would play great on our nationally broadcasted Fantasy Football special!"...
Seeing as I don't think that ESPN stands to benefit from airing a segment that serves as ode to the days of slave labor, I'm going to go ahead and say that this idea was just as innocent as it was stupid. I'm not so sure the worldwide leader in forced entertainment needs to be offering any public apologies because you'd really have to be asshole to think that their intentions were as questionable as their execution, but - with that said - I do have one question...
Where are all the minorities?
I know that Bristol, Connecticut isn't exactly a hub of cultural diversity, but if you're going to hold up the face of an African American for auction then it might be wise not to restrict your invitations to people that just waltzed off the 18th green. I don't know if the country club vibe is what was solely responsible for making this whole scene more cringeworthy, but I can't imagine that subbing out Sperry's target demographic for some sneakerheads would have hurt this extremely unfortunate optic. I admittedly play fantasy football with a predominantly caucasian group of friends, but generally our drafts don't look like a company-wide conference at Dockers. Shit, even Tommy Hilfiger would have known to call up his "black friend" to keep things a bit more colorful if he knew there were going to be cameras around.
Undoubtedly, a vast majority of fantasy football auctions are going to have a bunch of white dudes giddily bidding on Odell Beckham. However, when that auction draft is being held on cable television, the key is to mix in at least a few people that don't look like they would predominantly use his ridiculous hands to help clean their summer home.
“Fucking keep that shit in bounds, bro. Goddamn.” - Allen Robinson
Shit. I think I have gotten to the point where I actually pity Blake Bortles. Honestly, if anyone else had thrown a ball so wildly out of bounds that it made safety help out of an innocent observer then I wouldn't have hesitated in commenting on it. Granted - after much deliberation - I have still chosen to make light of an NFL quarterback being so off-target that he turned everyone within a ten foot radius of the sidelines into an obstacle while tossing up a 1-on-1 jump ball under no pressure whatsoever. However, seeing as that quarterback has become a league-wide punchline, I feel mildly bad (or worse, repetitive) while doing so.
I've truly grown tired of beating the dead horse, but clips like this are why the Jacksonville Jaguars essentially have a bludgeoned animal carcass starting under center. So, as someone that doesn't want his jokes about piss poor quarterback play to go stale before the season even starts, I must echo the sentiment of Allen Robinson in telling Blake Bortles to fucking keep that shit in bounds, bro.
If not so that his former Pro Bowl wide receiver has a snowball's chance in South Florida of keeping his feet in bounds then for the sake of overweight football fans trying to withstand the heat of the dog days without having to play pass defense.
There's Something Depressingly Funny About The Fake James Harrison Quote That Made It's Way Around The Internet
Look, there's nothing funny about attributing a fake quote to a professional athlete. Especially when the professional athlete in question happens to be African American, and the fake quote is in reference to a polarizing, racially charged subject. It's honestly depressing that someone writing under the cowardly pseudonym of a fictitious hockey player turned golfer that pioneered the idea of taking off his skate in an attempt to stab an opponent was able to so easily spread such a blatant lie. That said, the thought process that allowed him to do so is at least mildly - if not morbidly - funny.
I mean, just take a second to stop and think why James Harrison - of all people - was used as the target of this online deception. I definitely don't want to put myself in the mind of someone that cares so strongly about athletes taking a seat in the name of equality that he mocks up baseless articles in hopes that old white people that aren't familiar enough with the internet to accept it's content as anything less than gospel share it. However, based on my familiarity with ignorant idiots like him, I think I am at liberty to say that there's a reason why he chose the black athlete that's most capable of putting the fear of god in every single one of his peers. There's no chance an NFL player would have their convictions swayed by something they came across on the petri dish of prejudice that is Facebook, but - if they were so inclined to do so - then the most effective threat would probably come from the guy that dick presses 600 pounds during the offseason.
Honestly, if there is something that could undo the entirety of a grown man's potty training then it's one scowl from a pissed off James Harrison. That's why an NHL analyst whose loose lips might as well be attached to an uncontrollable bladder wants faux-James Harrison on his team of "Super Patriots" that are more annoyed by peaceful protests than they are by violent, neo-nazi gatherings on American soil. I feel pretty confident in saying that because the alternative is that Jeremy Roenick actually wants to play alongside a guy that is willing to hypothetically hospitalize his teammates for having a differing opinion, and - based on his track record of spewing stupid shit - I doubt that would work out in his favor.
Jeremy Roenick and his braindead band of retweeters believe that black athletes don't have the right to express their displeasure with the state of race relations in this country while also believing that they have the right to use the made-up words of the biggest, most intimidating black athlete to scare them into standing up straight. If you don't consider that hilariously hypocritical then I would imagine you're capable of getting baited by the very same bullshit.
What's funny about this is the fact that the people that most reserve the right to find themselves offended by this string of tweets are soccer fans. Seriously, the most popular sport internationally...and it's being used to analogously make light of the laughable lack of interest in a city's second newly transferred American football team in as many years? Galaxy fans should be way more upset with this unnecessary comparison than whatever fans the Chargers still have left. Why did the remarkably loud and proud footy fans have to get dragged into this? What did they do deserve being made collateral damage in the argument against rushed, repetitive relocation? If they moved to a place where they felt they would be more appreciated then they have hundreds of thousands of people lining up for season tickets in South America, so can we let teams that are helplessly trying to grow an unpopular sport in the United States do so free of insults by association?
In all seriousness, I'm not sure this should be considered all that surprising. Los Angeles' sports fans have done such a good job front-running their way through the history books that they have put Usain Bolt's track record to shame. Showing up to a meaningless exhibition game for a team coming off a terrible season that they absolutely no connection with whatsoever seems as predictable as Mrs. Rivers peeing on a stick two weeks after her and Philip's anniversary. In the last two decades she's spent less time not bearing child than the wishy washy fans of LaLa Land have spent rooting for a team with a losing record. So no, I wasn't exactly expecting them to sell out the 'StubHub Center' for a franchise whose most loyal supporters are currently napping the pain away on their surfboards while trying to ignore the existence of the organization that decided the grass was greener on the more populated side. Even if that grass was barely surrounded by enough seats for a team that plays a sport that's widely less prominent locally.
After The Events Of This Past Weekend, You'd Have To Be Some Sort Of Asshole To Care About An Athlete Sitting During The National Anthem
USAToday- Raiders coach Jack Del Rio said he was unaware Lynch would sit for the anthem, but added that the two spoke afterward and described the running back's action as a "non-issue" to him.
"He said, 'This is something I've done for 11 years — it's not a form of anything other than me being myself,' " Del Rio said in a postgame news conference. "I said, 'So you understand how I feel, I very strongly believe in standing for the national anthem, but I'm gonna respect you as a man. You do your thing, OK, and we'll do ours.' "
The moment came on a day in which a car hit peaceful protesters, killing a woman and injuring at least 19 people, after white supremacists and counter-protesters clashed at a rally in Charlottesville.
Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. Can you believe that an oft-controversial, African American athlete chose to casually sit and have a snack without even removing his cap for the saluting of the country in which he's lucky enough to earn his market value of millions of dollars to display his talents? Just plopped right down on his keister for some sustenance like he was feeling light headed and needed a potassium boost after a long walk in the park when he was supposed to be doing his civic duty by standing upright? Ugh, completely and utterly disgraceful if you ask me. I'm sorry. I support the freedom of free protest and all that happy horse shit, but if someone is going to be that apathetic towards an unlawful squabble that revolves around a flag then it should be the President of the United States of America!
Honestly, sit (or stand, doesn't really matter to me) there and tell me that Marshawn Lynch is un-American for choosing to rest his legs during a song while the country that it represents was currently serving as the unwilling host to a racial supremacy riot. Please, concoct a narrative in which a peaceful (if not entirely uninterested) protest for something that is inherently positive should be viewed more negatively than people angrily taking to the streets with fucking shields of armor and lit Tiki torches ready to commit vehicular homicide on behalf of their undeserved privilege. I'd be genuinely curious to see if someone could logically argue that the American flag truly symbolizes "freedom" when the removal of a Confederate flag that - like it or not - serves as a symbol of an oppressive history is still capable of being the catalyst for a citywide, neo-nazi-led 'Civil War'.
Admittedly, I have some pretty strong doubts that a star running back with a polarizing personality has been sitting out the 'National Anthem' for 11 years. I know we are a hell of a lot more hyper sensitive to how people choose to recognize the 'Star Spangled Banner' than we were when Marshawn Lynch was last on an NFL sideline, but there's no way he lasted over a decade on his asscheeks without drawing public ire. He's being disingenuous - if not completely full of shit - in acting like he didn't know what he was doing in the moment. However, since what he was doing is a wee bit more harmless than a public promotion of a "master race" that turned deadly, I think I am at liberty to say that what he was doing wasn't all that bad regardless.
Marshawn Lynch may not have made the most agreeable of spokesperson since he didn't even own up to a cause and his posture served as the biggest of middle fingers to every hypocrite that thought his unspoken cause was the most obscene thing that happened on American soil this weekend. Not that the type of stubborn jackass that would be overly critical anyway needs my blessing, but I suppose you could chastise him for delivering his message a little more indirectly, yet explicitly than we have come to expect.
That said, if you're under the assumption that he and Michael Bennett acted under the same pretense then you're going to have a pretty rough time blindly (and deafly) disagreeing with this sentiment without sounding like a racist asshole that's incapable of comprehending English words and undeniable truths...
"With everything that's been going on the last couple of months, and especially after the last couple of days seeing what's going on in Virginia, and earlier today in Seattle, I just wanted to be able to use my platform to be able to continuously speak on injustice."
"First of all, I want people to understand that I love the military. My father's in the military. I love hot dogs like any other American. I love football like any other American. But I don't love segregation. I don't love riots or oppression."
"I just want to see people have the equality that they deserve. And I want to be able to use this platform to continuously push the message of that."
"I'm being vulnerable right now. There's a whole bunch of people sitting at home judging me, but they will never get to this point where they can be vulnerable. Let people attack me because they don't believe what I believe in, but at the end of the day, I'm being vulnerable to show every person that no matter [what] you believe in, keep fighting for it. Keep fighting for equality. Keep fighting for oppressed people. And keep trying to change society."
As If The Saints' Defense Wasn't Already Concerning Enough, Delvin Breaux Is Reportedly On The Trading Block
I guess my question isn't so much "why?" as much as it is "why now?".
Look no further than the handling of Jimmy Graham and Brandin Cooks for proof that the Saints - specifically under Sean Payton - have been quick to pull the trigger in moving talented players that they deem expendable. I can see why they'd think a 27 year old cornerback with an extensive history of serious injuries whose value likely isn't going to get any higher than it did following his breakout season would fit that bill.
Unfortunately, the Saints' shouldn't feel anywhere near as inclined to pass the buck on anyone that is making an affordable buck to adequately defend the pass. I understand the franchise's frustration with Delvin Breaux having mostly seen the field from the sidelines for the last year and change, but the cusp of a make-or-break for the organization might not be the best time to move one of the most proven (although that's not exactly saying much) commodities in the secondary. Without even factoring the lack of leverage that you have when moving a player - out of the clear blue - this close to the season, the fact that said player plays a position that his current team tried desperately to address mere months ago makes this hypothetical trade one that is unlikely to work out in New Orleans' favor.
Considering Delvin Breaux is a guy who damn near lost his life on a football field, there's probably a pretty significant chance that he's hesitant (and rightfully so) to play at anything notably less than 100%. That's undoubtedly not going to sit well with those held responsible for fielding a competitive team in a sport that undeniably requires you to overcome some bumps and bruises. In theory, anyone that they could get in exchange would be an upgrade over Delvin Breaux if Delvin Breaux isn't going to be active on most Sundays, but - in theory - the Saints' cornerbacks are much deeper than they actually are without him even potentially being in the lineup.
At the time, I didn't take umbrage with the Saints' decision to keep their picks instead of trading for an established veteran in Malcolm Butler. However, if potentially erasing someone who was penciled in as a starting cornerback is something that has been weighing on their mind for awhile now then they have made themselves insanely vulnerable to looking very stupid. If this news is more of a foreshadowing than a mere possibility then they are depending on Marshon Lattimore (who is busy dealing with his own health issues) to set the curve instead of taking the time a rookie generally needs to learn it. They would be expecting P.J. Williams to kick the injury bug that has cost him the vast majority of his early career. The performance of what has been a woefully anemic defense could fall heavily on the shoulders of two undrafted free agents - in Ken Crawley and De'Vante Harris - who have yet to prove that impressive offseasons can translate during the regular season.
Simply put, if Delvin Breaux is in another jersey come September and he doesn't fetch someone that can play press, man-to-man defense in return then there's a whole hell of a lot more than could go painfully wrong on one particular side of the ball. For a defense that has been operating under Murphy's Law for the last handful of seasons, that's not exactly something that breeds optimism.
One. Just one. One meaningless victory out of four meaningless contests is all I ask. I don't care that it didn't come against the lowly Cleveland Browns, but - at this point - the New Orleans Saints just need to win a single preseason game to prove that they are still capable of doing so. The results may still be a month away from mattering, but the psyche of a fanbase that has seen it's team lose every single game played in August over the last two offseasons most certainly is not. I don't know if the deja-vu of being 0-4 in glorified practice sessions whose true winner is determined by which team comes away healthier is something that will haunt this team, but I'll be damned if it won't weigh on those with a vested interest in them.
At the end of the day, I truly don't give a shit that the Saints lost to a bad team on a deep pass to a white wide receiver that cleanly beat a porous defensive effort for a late, game winning touchdown. The list of things that matter exponentially more than a victory that would be nothing but moral is as follows...
- Their rookie class (or the portion of it that was actually able to play) - led by Alvin Kamara - collectively put forth an admirable effort.
- Their first string defense held a first string offense - albeit one with a second rate quarterback - to virtually nothing.
- Their receiving core continued to prove that it's shockingly deep (shoutout to Tommy Lee Lewis) without Brandin Cooks.
- The oft-questioned pass rush looked above average, and also highlighted the impressive resurgence of a guy whose recurrent ACL issues have lowered expectations in Hau'oli Kikaha.
All those things are far more important than the outcome of a game that Drew Brees, Cameron Jordan, Mark Ingram, and Adrian Peterson casually watched - in it's entirety - from the sidelines. Still, for the love of all that is holy, I'm going to need this potentially false optimism to result in something better than a winless preseason. If only to show me that this year is at least mildly different before recent history has me thinking that some practice games are a precursor to yet another depressing 7-9 season.
P.S. I would NOT want to be the one held responsible for making cuts at the wide receiver position...
A High School Football Player Was Accidentally Killed During A Team Building Exercise Made Popular By The Navy SEALs
TheComeback- A freak accident during a team-building activity during a high school football practice took a tragic turn on Thursday morning in New York, claiming the life of a high school junior. A log fell on the head of Joshua Mileto, 16, and he was pronounced dead at a nearby hospital after being rushed for treatment.
The log was being used as part of an exercise commonly used by U.S. Navy SEALs. The log was being carried by Mileto and a handful of teammates when at some point the log fell and struck the WR/CB in the head. No other injuries were reported.
Questions have already been raised about whether or not a high school football team should be performing drills designed for Navy SEALs. In recent years, however, the idea of going through a Navy SEALs workout with a football team has been advertised, and perhaps glorified, by a variety of college football programs. Of course, college football players collectively are in much better shape to handle those types of workouts than high schoolers. Representatives and coaches from Sachem East High School have not commented on the situation while an investigation is underway by local authorities.
I know this goes against the very nature of modern society, but can we just consider this an incredibly unfortunate, stand alone incident that is the fault of no one person? I know this sounds extremely dismissive since an innocent teenager's life was lost but sometimes shit just happens. Perhaps it's naive for my immediate assume to be that a high school football coach wasn't pushing his players past the brink of exhaustion in hopes of preparing them for the upcoming season, but I also don't think anyone should be too quick to judge his outside of the box team building techniques.
For instance, an investigation by local authorities seems a bit excessive unless there's at least one eyewitness account that the players were being put at risk by being reprimanded to continue a drill they were physically unfit for. Maybe it's just me (or my memory of pushing tractor trailer tires around a hockey rink with a stick as a middle schooler), but I don't consider asking a group of athletes to collectively lift a log over their heads as an irresponsible risk to their health. As far as I am concerned, Joshua Mileto would have been far more likely to meet a similar fate by bashing his skull against those of his peers in hope of stopping them short of the chains than by holding a tree trunk over his head with his friends.
Now, if a bunch of 16 year olds were carrying a log that was the same size and weight as those used by the grown men that are preparing to fight for this country's freedom then we definitely have an issue. I'm just not ready to prematurely blame a coach whose conscience is probably feeling pretty damn guilty regardless, even if 2017's idea of multitasking is pointing fingers while jumping to conclusions. My deepest sympathies go out to Joshua Mileto's family, but unless you're a part of it then you shouldn't immediately chastise some of the unorthodox things that you agree to when you choose to partake in competitive team sports.
Man, when is Tyron Smith going to catch a break? Just when you thought he had finally rendered his bulging dick impotent after trying to suppress it all last season and then - boom - he's laying erect on his back with a case of crippling stiffness. Who would have thought the all-too-evasive key to keeping a 6'5, 320 pound left tackle on the field to perform to the best of his abilities in the trenches would be to soften him up a bit? Will someone get this guy in a cold shower before throbbing head trauma costs him his career?!?
All in seriousness, I am glad a female sportscaster finally screwed this proverbial pronunciation pooch. I'm going to assume that Jane Slater's subconscious wasn't littered with biologically built pants' tents and that her slip was anything but freudian. Therefore, I'm pretty sure that retroactively gives a pass to every male that's assumed to be a deviant with sex on the brain every time they accidentally stumble into some untimely innuendo mid-broadcast.
See ladies, the world is yours! You can do anything men can do, even make embarrassing, R-rated mistakes on air! Hell, considering the unequivocal enunciation on the word "dick" and the extremely erotic verb preceding it, dare I say that the Jane Slater's of the world sound even more confident when getting all chubbed up by the tricky linguistics of a reoccurring back problem? If she didn't immediately correct herself than I would be liable to think that Tyron Smith basically boned himself out of the lineup last season, and there's something to be said about speaking with that level of conviction.
Carson Palmer Tried To Argue That He Is Younger Than Cardinals' QB Coach Byron Leftwich, Which He is Not
Well, if you're going to take a big, fat L in an argument then is might as well be an argument that sheds light on just how ridiculously long you've remained a professional athlete while playing one of - if not thee - most difficult position in all of sports. I don't know if Carson Palmer is sensitive about his age, but I know that finding out he's older than a guy who feels like he's been out of NFL for a decade only reminded me of how he was able to resurrect his career after if flew all the way off the tracks in the quarterback killing city of Oakland.
Carson Palmer's late 30's may have put some unsightly smudges on his postseason record, but the fact that he was even a starting quarterback for a playoff team as recently as two seasons ago is a credit to how well we able to re-capture some of the magic that he had with Chad Ochocinco and T.J. Houshmandzadeh*. There aren't many players that get that close to journeyman status only to rebound back to relevance. Nothing speaks to that quite like him having to legitimately compare DOB's with a relatively successful player whose days as a starting caliber QB were basically DOA when he landed in Atlanta in 2007. Carson Palmer might be old, but his career certainly ain't dead yet. That, in itself, should take some of the sting off of losing an argument by way of the internet.
* "Put him on the board, Howshamazilly, got it. Championnnship."
This 'Foot Locker' Commercial Tried To Make It DeMarcus Cousins And Ndamukong Suh Likable, And Was Only Partially Successful
I've got to tip my cap to 'Foot Locker', they almost got me here. They've done a stellar job of making polarizing athletes more likable by getting them to make light of their own flaws (See: DeAngelo Russell, and Lonzo Ball), and were pretty close to succeeding yet again by getting DeMarcus Cousins and Ndamukong Suh to embrace their inner asshole. Unfortunately, getting people to laugh at your scripted, socially unacceptable behavior only works when it's truly an exaggeration of why people think you're a terrible person in the first place.
DeMarcus Cousins came away looking better because - no matter how many officials he verbally assaults - I would never take him for the type of person to kick fallen groceries away from an exhausted housewife or shut an elevator door in an elderly woman's face. The same can't be said about 300-pound Ndamukong Suh "accidentally" stomping on the injury prone leg of someone much smaller than him, because he has literally already done that...
I can buy that DeMarcus Cousins' reputation as selfish and difficult is slightly magnified by how emotional and impassioned he gets on the court. However, if you're trying to sell me on Ndamukong Suh being anything less than a recklessly dirty dickhead whose intent is to do anything but injure then you might as well move on to a more likely sale by putting a price tag on the Brooklyn Bridge.
DeAndre Levy Is Filing A Grievance Against The Lions For Saving $1.75 Million By Passing Him In A Physical He Apparently Should Have Failed
SportingNews- DeAndre Levy, a former second-team All-Pro linebacker, has filed a grievance against the Lions for $1.75 million, according to multiple reports.
At issue is the Lions' medical treatment of Levy, who passed a team physical in March before he was released, which nullified a $1.75 million injury guarantee in his contract for this season, ESPN reported.
Levy suffered a torn meniscus in Week 1 last season that required surgery. He returned to play toward the end of the regular season and playoffs. Following his release, Levy underwent a second surgery in April on the same knee.
"I figured there was something wrong because they passed me on a physical when I couldn't even sit down to a chair or get into a linebacker stance at the time," Levy told ESPN. "In my mind, I didn't think about the legal contract part of it. I thought, 'This is f—d up. I can't get into position; how can I pass a physical?' I didn't know it was a physical the first time.
"I went in for just a follow-up for my knee, we go through the exam or whatever and I see he puts 'pass' on it for the physical. I'm like, 'OK, this ain't right.' So I called my agent and I'm just now learning about the process."
I think I'm just going to take DeAndre Levy's word for it here. I have no doubt that he was hurt, but chances are that he's at least slightly exaggerating the extent to which he was in pain in hopes of collecting a couple million before calling it quits. That said, you'd have to be an idiot not to do the same damn thing to a league/organization that stopped at nothing to exploit you financially and physically throughout the prime of your career. So, from this point forward we are just going to suspend mild disbelief and pretend that the former Lions' linebacker passed a physical in which he literally had to be carried into the room and propped up like he just played the role of dead weight in 'Weekend At Bernie's'.
Under those circumstances, it's morbidly funny that the Detroit Lions gave him a proverbial pat on the ass that he couldn't even sit on without wincing and said "congrats on your clean bill of health...now get the fuck out!". Unfortunately, it's much more scary that NFL players are so brainwashed/peer pressured into believing they are fine that DeAndre Levy basically hobbled out under the illusion he was "healthy" and had to gimp his way right into a surgeon's office no more than a month later. The visual of a team's medical staff saying "you passed!" while a team executive pops his head in and interrupts to say "you're also fired!" is semi-laughable. That is, until you consider that the soon-to-be-retired person on the ass end of the joke got left with a partially broken body while getting taken for roughly two million by a billion dollar industry.
There's no doubt the NFL is a cutthroat business that views it's manual laborers as nothing more than temporary and expendable means to an end. Still, it's crazy to consider that they won't even stop at manipulating players that are taught to remain naive just to keep their job in order to not only win games, but also to pinch what basically amounts to pennies for the powerful. Here's to hoping DeAndre Levy eventually gets his $1.75 million. He may not have gotten the chance to earn it on the field, but he sure as hell deserves it more than the franchise that almost got away (and still might get away) with robbing it from him.