The Cardinals Made Some Edits to Their Schedule Release/Hype Video After "Forgetting" to Include Josh Rosen in it Even One Single Time
Second time's a charm:
Normally I'd say we might be reading way too far into the contents of a 90-second social media schedule release by using them as cold, hard evidence to a rumored franchise altering personnel decision of an NFL organization. I honestly wouldn't even have noticed Rosen going entirely unChosen in the first video without having been made aware of it prior to watching, so it's probably a bit premature for the second year, first round pick to start packing his bags based solely on its circulation.
That being said, as underwhelming and uneventful as his rookie season may have been, it is near impossible to incidentally put together a highlight package for a professional football team without once featuring the man who holds the hand with which the ball passed through on all offensive plays of note. I mean, even if I wanted to offer the benefit of the doubt, I'd have to be blind, deaf, and dumb not to consider that there were close-up cameos made by EIGHT other NFL quarterbacks, none of which are currently employed atop the Cardinals' depth chart under center. If that's not a sign that, at the very least, the online marketing team has taken their first step to securing a seat on the Kyler Murray bandwagon then I don't know what the hell is.
You don't go from getting a glimpse as the future face of the franchise to being a forgotten face in the franchise's glimpse into the future in one year without something being afoot. What's afoot could very well just be the passive aggressive hands of a presumptuous video editor, but me thinks the whispers in Cardinals HQ are about as Josh Rosen-friendly as the "returning" starting quarterback needing to be remixed into a role bigger than that of the team's long snapper. One just can't help but wonder where those whispers originated...
The Falcons Snuck An NFC Shampionship-Inspired Troll Job Into Their 'GoT' Schedule Release, And It's About Damn Time They Made a Funny
When you're so quick to give it, you got to be able to take it. Seeing as the Falcons have, through their unforgettable failures as a franchise, given the Saints and their much more faithful fanbase no choice but to give it, it was theoretically a matter of time before those same fans had to take it. For that reason, I tip my cap to Atlanta's social media team for putting together that clever animation, despite it being a nod to a play that still rips my heart out on...ahem...replay. Like it or not, and I most certainly do not, it's objectively funny.
Now, is it as objectively funny as putting billions of dollars into the building of a mechanical butthole that's perennially half-full and shares a sponsor with the much louder and prouder stadium of your most hated division rival? Good question. Is it as objectively funny as not only having to pipe in artificial crowd noise to your home venue for it to sound like anything remotely close to an NFL atmosphere, but also getting caught doing so? Who's to say? Is it as objectively funny as defying the constraints of time as a construct by blowing a 25-point lead in the second half of the biggest game in your franchise's history while on the brightest stage in sports? It suppose it's all a matter of perspective, but from my perspective the Saints pack far less as a punchline than does the organization that's unsurprisingly much less arrogant and accomplished as an antagonist, especially since having vacated the divisional throne.
Ryan Fitzpatrick Blamed His Birthday Cake-Heavy Diet For His Out of Shape Showing at Offseason Workouts, Which is Quite Fitting
Honestly, who has got it better than Ryan Fitzpatrick? Never mind being subjected to a dumpster of a diet that comes part and parcel with having to sneak in ways to satiate yourself while raising an entire touchdown worth of children. The truth is, he might as well wake up and eat some cake regardless of whether or not the calendar says it's a date on which he once successfully reproduced.
36 years old. Starting NFL quarterback. Still living good off an Ivy League education in and on a field where it largely doesn't translate. No real expectations of which to speak. Can show up unkempt and overweight to his job as a pro athlete and have it be a laughing matter. His blessed life might as well be the product of blowing out all the right candles, so who is to say every day isn't his birthday? All his wishes have seemingly some true, like two dozen times over, so it would simply be ungrateful of him not to show his appreciation by bulking up on a bunch of batter and icing for another stress-free gig under center that probably best described as...well...cake.
Incredible. Simply incredible. I mean, how? Just how? I don't even have the words for the work ethic it must require to...::gathers breath::...continue pulling otherwise asinine tasks out of your ass in hopes of making an athletic alien shed a bead of perspiration.
Honestly, I'm only being half-sarcastic when I say that the most shocking thing about this video was the creativity of the trainer. That's partially because neither my body nor brain is capable of truly comprehending the difficulty of the exercise at hand. However, it's mostly because Alvin Kamara, whether it be on or off the field, has spent the last two years getting Saints' fans way too used to his ability to make near impossible feats of physicality look entirely effortless. The pegs on those projectiles being red and blue is quite fitting, because that is some Matrix shit...if Neo had both swag and his superpowers weren't a product of pill-popping. Yet still, due mostly to desensitization, I was left responding to that video with nothing more than a shoulder shrug that matched what little anxiety Alvin Kamara appeared to be exuding as his ears, eyes, and hands casually coordinated to put forth an otherworldly display of instantaneous telepathy.
I personally didn't need to see this to know that someone who could probably break your balls while balancing himself on a bed of marbles is an absolute freak far beyond this galaxy, never mind a football field. Therefore, I'll treat this clip as a relief knowing his offseason regimen isn't in the idle hands of someone who is going to rest on their laurels and stop going above and beyond the call of duty in the hopeless endeavor to humanize AK's talents. I wish Dr. Reef the best of luck, for he genuinely looks to be working harder than the wonder kid he's allegedly working out.
The AAF, Also Known as the Broke Ass League That Folded After 8 Weeks Due to a Lack of Funding, Is Denying "Their Players" a Chance to Sign in the CFL
It's times like this that I am reminded that I didn't go to law school. I'm sure the stupidity of this situation would have been easily explained in detail during the first semester, but I'm at a loss for understanding how already breached contracts handed out by a now defunct business could still, in any form or fashion, be binding.
Somehow even more so than that, I'm baffled that a league which was theoretically formed to give fringe players a second chance to extend their playing careers is now treating those players less like human beings than the NFL does their athletes. I'm sure there is a bunch of legal liabilities (::pats self on back for sounding somewhat versed in the subject::) wrapped up in the laughable amount of lawsuits they are about to be drowning in. Still, denying rapidly expiring job opportunities to those whose jobs you just unlawfully terminated is a move that makes Roger Goodell's heart look like it bleeds for the bruised brains his league leaves in its wake.
Honestly, solely by comparison, the AAF self-destructing about as quickly as a seagull that's been fed an Alka-Seltzer is basically the best PR the NFL has gotten in ages. So much so that if I didn't know any better, I'd assume the outside competition (that wasn't) was an inside job. The NFL won't fully guarantee you a contract for killing yourself slowly, but at least they aren't at risk of folding only to actively sabotage your next chance at employment. They'll let your earning window close with the quickness, but they won't board up all your doors from within when a comparative opportunity comes a knockin'. The AAF is the ultimate reminder that business ethics could always be worse when the NFL had us presuming that was impossible as little as 2.5 months ago.
As if Anyone Needed the Confirmation, Sean Payton Finally Shot Down The Cowboys' Rumors With His Signature Sass
NOLA- The speculation about New Orleans Saints coach Sean Payton eventually leaving to coach the Dallas Cowboys seem to be never-ending, but Payton had a funny line when discussing the topic Thursday evening on WWL radio.
“I’ve got fleur-de-lis tattoos that can’t be erased!" Payton said during the interview.
“I’m in my 13th year. I don’t know how to answer it,” he said. “I feel like it’s every other year; it’s on the odd number years, so 2019 it comes up and then we’ll hear it in 2021.”
With regards to staying in New Orleans, Payton said, “That’s clearly the plan.”
Despite being best described as NFL insiders crying wolf, the annual Sean Payton to the Cowboys rumors were never anything more than whispers. Whispers that could be rationalized by circumstance, with the Saints' head coach having a home in Dallas and a relationship with Jerry Jones that predates his tenure in New Orleans, but whispers nonetheless. For that reason, it became increasingly easy for the Who Dat Nation to tune them out as those riding America's bandwagon continue to hopelessly and shamelessly yearn for the day that their organization hires a head coach that can't be walked all over from an owners' suite.
Still, if only due to the lack of a defiant dismissal from the one man most likely to open up and offer one, there was a small seed of doubt left untended to in the back of the mind of Saints' fans.
Thankfully, Sean Payton finally put all his weight into the heel of his work boot and squashed that seed to smithereens. Speaking to the city of New Orleans and the Saints' organization being woven into the fabric of who he is as a person and a professional is the type of classic quotable that's always ingratiated him to fans and gotten under the skin of his haters (of which are there are many). Granted, it could have went without saying, for as much as he's been eternally influenced by the local culture, he's also pretty clearly put the stamp of his own petty personality on the team that serves as its heartbeat. Still, it was refreshing to learn of him boldly saying so in a way that only he would.
Now more so than even the unforgettable honeymoon period, the relationship between Sean Payton, New Orleans, and the Saints is a symbiotic one. Due to the nature of the business, plans change and it'll inevitably come to an end at some point. However, if that point wasn't when the franchise stuck by his side throughout a season-long suspension or during the demoralizing deja vu of 7-9 seasons then it sure as shit isn't anywhere in a near future of which he can prove his brilliance beyond Drew Brees with the young, talented roster he put together.
Luckily, you no longer have to take my word for it, as the ink has long dried on tattoos that, be they literal or figurative, speak for themselves.
Former Steeler Rashard Mendenhall Took to Twitter to Defend AB by Accusing Big Ben of Racism, Before Backpedaling With The Quickness
At the risk of being ignorant to the undertones of what was obviously more of a battle of egos than a inter-organizational race war, I am going to go ahead and say that there are a lot of people going to absurd lengths to pick sides in a Steelers' saga that's become so much of a soap opera that it might as well be entitled 'General Hostile'.
I get that society as a whole has become extremely polarized, but neither Ben Roethisberger or Antonio Brown are anywhere near likable enough for me to cast a vote of confidence in either of their innocence. To be honest, I can't really wrap my head anyone concluding that one has to represent right and other has to represent wrong, when it's pretty obvious - to me, anyway - that they are about as alike as their skin tones are different. By that, I mean they are both nauseatingly egotistical assholes who are quick to point fingers elsewhere, and is there really any protagonist in a dickhead-on-dickhead duel?
Maybe that was Rashard Mendenhall's entire point. If it was then it was made preposterously poorly with an accusation of something as serious as racism that can confusingly be read as either sincere or sarcastic. Regardless, it's pretty clear he's #TeamAB when everyone should really be siding with those that had to work alongside their enigmatic asses the last few years.
Fact is, the Pittsburgh Steelers bowed down to Ben Roethlisberger because he plays the one position with which the entire fate of a football team lies. They decided to stop putting up with Antonio Brown's bullshit, that stunk only as much as his former quarterback's bullshit, because he forced their hand and plays a position which which excellence hasn't equated to championships. Maybe I'm wrong and Big Ben was dropping n-bombs in between audibles while playing for a team coached by an African American, but I'd assume it's much more likely that both him and his main target were just immature, self-involved jackasses whose biggest problem with each other was that they had too many character flaws in common.
If that's the case then it's really only their co-workers that deserve our support, how's that for fair?
As someone who, unless otherwise instigated, plans to treat the rule change that Sean Payton coerced out of the NFL as an opportunity to start moving on from the most obvious and impactful of officiating gaffs, I'd really like to start the process of forgetting what was readily seen by everyone with better than 20/100 vision as an abortion of integrity.
That being said, seeing as that process will literally never completely end, just as the NFL will never be fully forgiven, I'm all for the occasional call back to the league's buffoonery. It's probably best for the future of the Saints' franchise if the parading around in pettiness portion of New Orleans' party-centric mourning period has reached its sobering conclusion. Subtle reminders that revenge is still very much due, however, will be eternally appreciated.
Whether or not that spite be cleverly scripted into an attempt to sell more properly fitting button-downs is inconsequential. The longevity of the grudge burning in the collective heart of the Who Dat Nation, on the hand hand, is not.
Aaron Rodgers Says The Article Detailing His Rocky Relationship With Mike McCarthy Was a "Smear Attack", Which Begs One Unanswered Question...
SI- Quarterback Aaron Rodgers spoke out against a recent article from Bleacher Report, calling it a "smear attack" and said there were a number of "highly questionable" things included in the story that delved into the relationship between Rodgers and former head coach Mike McCarthy.
In a new interview with Jason Wilde and Mark Tauscher ESPN Milwaukee, Rodgers said he's heard from over 100 current and former players and coaches since the story was published last week.
"I want to say two things: One, if they knew that, why would they offer me a contract last year?" Rodgers said in the interview. "And two, which goes into my second central thesis point that I'm going to take down, is if I really disliked Mike so much, why would I re-sign knowing that if I play well and we do what we do around here — we made the playoffs eight straight years and then I got hurt and we missed the playoffs — it's going to be me and Mike my entire career? So if I really disliked him that much, do you think I'd re-sign? Is the money that important to me? I'll tell you it's not. Quality of life is important."
Rodgers acknowledged the he and McCarthy might have issues but the two always dealt with it face to face and it didn't get in the way. Rodgers said: "I love Mike McCarthy. He's a great man. He's got a huge heart. He really cares about his players, and he showed that to us. ... As far as a player to a coach, it's just two Alpha males who are hyper-competitive and love winning and are both a little stubborn. But, again, we talked through so many different issues over the years and that made us a lot stronger."
The story cites Greg Jennings and Jermichael Finley heavily, with the two sharing stories, including one from Jennings where he discussed knowing it was his last year in Green Bay after Rodgers joked about the wide receiver joining the 49ers.
After Wilde brought up the two, Rodgers said: "If it’s not an article about me, do you ever hear their names anywhere else? … You talk about me being sensitive and petty, at what point do you move on or stop telling the same stories?"
I say the following as someone who doesn't find Aaron Rodgers to be a particularly likable or forthright person, regardless of how great he is as a player. I think it's totally to refer to Bleacher Report's offseason piece that went out of its way to do research and report on the enigmatic reputation of one of the NFL's most transcendent talents as a "smear attack". While reading up on the inner non-workings of the Green Bay Packers' organization was incredibly interesting, enlightening, and explanatory, the extensive article did come off as a pretty complete takedown of Aaron Rodgers personally and Mike McCarthy professionally. Therefore, I can totally understand them both feeling attacked by the criticisms of former peers who may have exaggerated their truths in picking sides in what sounds like an extremely polarizing organizational feud.
That being said, I am left asking myself one question that Aaron Rodgers only lightly touched in a suspiciously dismissive way. That question, of course, is why? I know why people would take aim at Mike McCarthy, as having your resume as an offensive head coach reduced to used toilet paper almost always comes as a result of being fired for repetitively underperforming with an All-World talent under center. But why would multiple players that used to benefit from catching deadly accurate passes from said All-World talent attempt to sully his name unless his name deserved a sullying?
Simply put, Aaron Rodgers is going to have do a bit better then claiming it's all made up for publicity, since you don't find too many players whose careers were elevated by playing with high-quality quarterbacks who are quick to sell them down the river for a headline. Leaders the likes of Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, and Drew Brees have made not a single eternal enemy in their rotating arsenals of weapons despite being just as demanding of them, so - historically speaking - I have no choice but to believe there is something to Aaron Rodgers being a bit of a passive aggressive prick.
Now, there are worse things to be in this world than a self-indulgent dickhead, especially when you possess an unprecedented amount of arm talent. However, for him to disingenuously plead innocence on all counts is him asking for the suspension of a laughable amount of disbelief. Seeing as his career has been largely wasted while working alongside an uncreative head coach, I don't particularly blame him for being an asshole. I do, however, blame him for not being self-aware enough to at least own it.
If Antonio Brown's Idiotic Antics Were All Just an Act Then His Latest Twitter Beef With JuJu Smith-Schuster Is Proof That He's Quite Committed to it
Ok, this is it. Last chance to hop off the "Antonio Brown is an evil genius" train before you arrive at the final destination that is right down the street from his unofficial asylum in Crazy Town. I don't know why anyone felt confident getting on board in the first place, as we are talking about the type of egotistical idiot that thought nothing of launching furniture over his balcony and into an inhabited common area 14 floors below, but everyone makes mistakes.
It's committing to those mistakes, when it is clear that's all they are, that is truly inexcusable. I would say with complete confidence that we've reached a point where everyone who thought AB was putting Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker to shame in merely acting like an absolute lunatic of a loose cannon should know they done messed up. He may have profitably whined and wackjob'd his way out of Pittsburgh, but he certainly didn't do so by outsmarting an entire NFL organization with a meticulously pre-planned misrepresentation of his mental health, or lack thereof.
I mean, we are talking about a jealous jackass who somehow, in the span of three social media posts, self-inflicted a Wile E. Coyote-esque amount of damage to his own damn arguments. Antonio Brown proved JuJu Smith-Schuster's entire point for him, and likely basked in the artificial love of every single heart as his utter senselessness went more and more viral. Mr. Big Chest is a lot of things, but an expert thespian with complete control of his emotions is not one of them. Dude is absolutely kookoo, with or without Cocoa Puffs, so it's time to slam the casket on this narrative that he maniacally manipulated the Pittsburgh Steelers with anything other than an entirely insufferable personality that is wildly disconnected from any sort of reality.
David Irving, Recent THC-Positive Retiree, Claims Jason Garrett Isn't Quite Cut Out For The Barbershop...So To Speak
It would be pretty easy to dismiss these accusations as entirely illegitimate. After all, they are coming from someone who is either rightfully or wrongfully perceived by many as a guy who traded in his athletic career for the ability to properly celebrate 4/20 without fear of the NFL's fun police interrupting the party with a pee cup...
On top of that, it seems beyond even the loosest constraints of reality that a head coach of a professional football team could operate for nearly a decade before a single player spoke publicly to his inability to hold a quality conversation with a black player.
That being said, if you keep in mind that the source staunchly removed prejudice from the equation and focus on the phrase "socially awkward" as opposed to "uncomfortable", I could see how one might find Jason Garrett's personality to be off-putting. It definitely feels like this is a thought that David Irving took some liberties with after smoking himself retired, but we are talking about a guy who is constantly caught unconditionally clapping on the sidelines as if he were trying to applaud away his anxiety. I hardly think it's crazy to consider that his communication skills might be slightly lost in translation when crossing cultural boundaries.
The racial undertones of this allegation make it a much more problematic proclamation, but every head coach has his pros and cons and it's not like Jason Garrett was ever anywhere to be seen on any non-family member's list of five people they'd love to have dinner with. Therefore, judging strictly off his sideline mannerisms, I could imagine there being a small hint of truth to him suffering through more uncommonly prolonged silences amongst those with which he lacks a common ground - be they black, white, or creative in game-planning. Of course, as evidenced by the claim of jealousy at the end of that video, I could also see David Irving being full of something that has a more distinct smell than smoke, so I'm just going to assume it's some relatively harmless combination of the two.
Well, for what it's worth, this is going to make for a hell of a Netflix documentary that should prove rewatchable whenever you need to feel better about your own egregious missteps in organization. Granted, what it's worth to the players that made it all possible is whatever it costs to get them back home healthy, so this dumpster Fyre of an inevitable drownfall is far less comical now than it was when players' lives/livelihoods were only being put at risk on the field...
Still, as a preposterously bad planner, I am personally appreciative of a "business model" that gives me a lifetime supply of comparative peace of mind. After all, the lack of foresight and funding that went into a league that apparently assumed the NFL - yes, that NFL - was going to be economically accommodating in bailing their ass out makes Ja Rule look like a capable financial adviser, so what do I have to worry about?
The truth is, while the victims in this case are exponentially less enjoyable to mock, the AAF is somehow trying to divert and dodge more liability than Fyre Fest and managed to put themselves on a grander stage from which to do so. Don't let the idea that a bunch of mediocre football games did actually go off without a hitch distract you from that fact. 'The Alliance' has done the near impossible in making 'The Shield' look remotely good at insuring the best interesting of the athletes employed under it. That should be a felony of a crime in and of itself.
That's why I can't wait until the lawsuits really start flying and someone much more coordinated than myself can get to filming on the story of a colossal fuck-up of a football league that both physically and fiscally did far more harm than good. Sucking everyone damn near dry, and didn't even have the courtesy to employ a blowjob guy to do the dirty work. For shame...
If you had told me after the Vikings had taken a 14-7 lead primarily by incessantly picking on PJ Williams like a grade school crush that I'd consider it very good news that he signed back with the Saints during the upcoming offseason, I'd have assumed that the rest of the defensive backfield had contracted polio.
Of course, it was no more than a quarter later that he flipped the script on what was, to that point, a substandard season with a game-altering pick six off Kirk Cousins, and it honestly felt like he rarely had to look back - either figuratively or literally - thereafter. Judging strictly off of quantity, PJ Williams was probably the most active playmaker in the Saints' secondary the latter half of the season. That's due in large part to the success teams had targeting him during the former half of the season, but it's a credit to him that he was able to shed the label of liability in the only locker room that matters.
In manning a slot that was quickly left vacant by the unfortunate, season-ending injury to one of New Orleans' biggest free agency acquisitions, PJ Williams really came into his own as nickel corner when the Saints added Eli Apple on the outside. The hope is that his job goes back to a healthy Patrick Robinson for more than a week and a half, but you could certainly find less reliable one-year insurance policies than the player who was the most trusted tackler they had in coverage last season.
There's no way to really know, I suppose, but if I had to guess then I'd say PJ Williams' dumbass decision to drive after drinking away his NFC Championship sorrows probably cost him more lucrative and long-term opportunities elsewhere. Selfishly, I'm glad that's a lesson he'll have to humbly learn in the black & gold, as he gives depth, versatility, and some pop to a defense that's but a few seasons removed from being all too familiar with scouring the streets for injury replacements to the most exposable position on the roster.
Sean McVay Pranked One Of His Dozens Of Proteges, In Getting Kliff Kingsbury To Believe That He Had Lost The First Overall Pick To Tampering Charges Over Dinner
I don't want to make more of this than what it is, which is just a friend playing his upper hand in getting one over on a much more gullible friend. However, I can't help but feel like it reeks of one NFL head coach playing chess while another NFL head coach, who happens to have taken the reigns of a division rival, is playing checkers. Not for nothing, but that's very fitting of what many feel will come to fruition on the field.
I understand why Kliff Kingsbury would be sensitive to the potential loss of any asset (especially the most highly coveted one) considering the state of the Cardinals' roster, and I credit Sean McVay for putting in the leg work of an altered contact to allow for the execution of the prank. Still, you can't convince me that the latter would have been liable to fall for the old "commissioner is texting out tampering charges during drink orders" gag had it been attempted on him two years ago.
Again, that's not to say that truly believing the first overall pick had been stolen from him in insanely unprecedented fashion signals his inevitable demise as a head coach, but it's definitely not a good look for someone whose high-profile job requires him to call much, much more inconspicuous bluffs on a regular basis. I suppose you can't put anything past Roger Goodell and his outlandish executive order, but to assume a shared dinner had been both harshly and historically disciplined before it had even been digested? For someone whose credentials are already in question, I sure hope Kliff Kingsbury was inebriated or he's a bit too wide-eyed of a complete sucker for me not to consider it a con of a character trait that could affect him professionally. Especially since the friend who successfully yanked his chain has him on the schedule twice a year and has a playbook that's a hell of a lot trickier than that stunt.
Le'Veon Bell Released Some New Music On Twitter And Was Not Fond Of How It Was Received, Particularly By Keenan Allen
I'm not ready to say I'd put as much trust in Keenan Allen's ears as I'd put in his hands, but the guy has got a pretty solid point. I'm all for athletes exploring other avenues of entertainment, but if that's the lane in which Le'Veon Bell's album is staying then it'll inevitably be quick to come upon a dead end. That snippet was only 38 seconds long and it had me feeling as though I had fallen victim to a Cardi B speciality cocktail thrice by the merciful end of it.
Objectively speaking, that was simply not enjoyable music. Therefore, with "heat" being the only other available option, Keenan Allen almost had no choice but to call it "trash". Not sure why Le'Veon Bell took so much offense, as if a personal text disparaging his work would have been less insulting than public text disparaging his work, but the fact of the matter is that the work was in need of disparagement after being left with a caption that committed the mortal sin of asking for both the the internet's attention and opinion. Regardless of being a member of an NFL team, Keenan Allen is also a member of Twitter, and thus it is his duty to call a spade a spade when called upon, even when an actual spade should have been used to dig a deep, deep hole for the final resting place of the spade in question.
If you ask me, that was as constructive as criticism gets on social media or in the rap game. Therefore, I can't help but think it's a good thing that the Jets finally gave Le'Veon Bell that guarantee money. Clearly he's not cut out for the music business, since all it took for him to get sensitive was one of his peers doing exactly what was asked of him, which was to let the artist know that far more than most would rather just go 5-wide than risk their eardrums by running back that record. Whatever the case may be, Keenan Allen clearly isn't one to...ahem...hold out and/or be a 'yes man', so at the very least he's not quite fit for Le'Veon Bell's following.
Sean Payton Has Some Thoughts On The NFL's Recent Coaching Trend Of Trying To Hire A Bunch Of Cut-Rate Versions Of Himself
So, what you're saying is that Sean Payton doesn't believe that coaches who can lead, motivate, and call plays in serving as an extra set of all-knowing eyes for their quarterback at the highest level of football can be plucked ripe from the Sean McVay coaching tree in just two years time? Weird. Why would he find the notion that young and innovative offensive minds that are instinctually well-versed in the managerial aspects of coaching while being ahead of their time systematically are a dime-a-dozen during any given offseason to be patently ridiculous? Can't quite put my finger on it....
In all seriousness, there is just a hint of bias showing in that answer, as Sean Payton would have been football's flavor of the year long before Sean McVay had he teamed up with Drew Brees and quickly turned around the Saints' fortunes while rocking a handsomely kempt beard during the social media boom. While (attempted) imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, no one wants to believe that what they do best can be even remotely replicated by a bunch of guys whose resumes might as well read "right place, right time, right theory", much less someone who is second to only the most accomplished coach in NFL history in length of tenure. Therefore, Sean Payton should be flashing that infamously spiteful smirk in talking down in the direction of a bunch of stereotype hires. Not only because he's earned the right, but also because he did what some of them objectively did not in earning the hell out of the high-profile, pressure-packed job he's managed to hold onto for the last 12 years.
The truth of the matter is that he's exactly right. Much like Sean McVay, Sean Payton is of a rare breed that doesn't simply repopulate through interactional and intellectual osmosis. I get that the NFL is a copycat league, but how many of those copycats end up being passable clones as opposed to the type of unsightly genetic mutations that serve as short-lived proof that cloning is actually really fucking hard? There are so few quality head coaches with staying power that stick in the NFL, so thinking that they can all be found in the same list of contacts requires a semester-long nap through Statistics 101.
Now granted, if I were looking to fill a sideline vacancy, I too might find myself swoon by a young, handsome fella who has a play sheet that looks like a diner menu and has the uncanny ability to flirtatiously drop an 'RPO' reference, but that's because I'm a simple-minded moron that can't look past points. Presumably, the people in charge of employing the highest levels of multi-billion dollar organizations are not, so - when they are inevitably replacing a bunch of flameouts in the near future - they'd probably be wise to keep in mind that off-the-field lesson from Sean Payton before he teaches them another one on-the-field.
Sean Payton Was Frustrated With How Things Went Down With Mark Ingram, Which Brings A Little Clarity To A "Cloudy" Situation
Suits, you just can't trust them. That's what I have come to take away from the split between the Saints and one of their most beloved and consummate leaders, as everything that's been made public regarding Mark Ingram's free agency leads me to believe it was botched by a third party not named the Baltimore Ravens. Considering the amount of up-to-the-minute communication that he, himself said he had with his now former teammates throughout the process, it makes little to no sense for #22 to have, more or less, ghosted his now former head coach unless it was a directive from his representation. Therefore, I'll go to the grave believing that the Saints would have met Mark Ingram in the middle if his agent didn't lose his mind...just a little.
It still sucks something serious to know that such a familiar and galvanizing face won't be wearing the black & gold alongside Alvin Kamara next year, but it does slightly ease the pain to know that even Sean Payton was feeling the frustration. The Saints didn't wait because they were given no indication they should wait from the person they would have been waiting on. They simply did what they could not get stood up by someone who was presumably instructed to play hard to get while ignoring the status of the grass in seeing if the money was greener elsewhere, which was settle.
I don't blame Mark Ingram for trying to maximize one last big pay day that he undoubtedly deserved. I'm just upset that his proverbial GPS malfunctioned while looking for it, as it allegedly took him too long without talking to get to the reasonable price and term he eventually accepted anyway. Just another reinforcement of the belief that this entirely unnecessary breakup was merely a product of circumstance, except this time with Mark Ingram's management assuming the nickname 'Circumstance'.
Kliff Kingsbury Better Not Suck Because He's Playing Right Into The Hands Of His Haters By Giving His Players "Cellphone Breaks" During Team Meetings
ESPN- Kingsbury said Tuesday at the NFL owners meetings that he'll implement "cellphone breaks" during team meetings. He did something similar while coaching at Texas Tech but will adapt it for NFL players.
"They're itching to get to those things," he said.
Kingsbury will let the players break for their phones every 20 or 30 minutes -- what he called a "good run" -- right around the time he usually starts to see players lose interest.
"You start to see kind of hands twitching and legs shaking, and you know they need to get that social media fix, so we'll let them hop over there and then get back in the meeting and refocus," Kingsbury said.
While coaching the Red Raiders the past six years, Kingsbury saw firsthand just how short young football players' attention spans can be. Kingsbury said the average age in the NFL is 25, not much older than the players he coached in college.
I'd be quite the hypocrite if I typed in my password, opened up Twitter, stumbled upon this story mid-day on a Wednesday, and proceeded to scold Kliff Kingsbury for having the baseline understanding that the generation he's predominantly trying to get through to has the attention span of a goldfish that has taken too many subconcussive blows to the head. I mean, at 39 years of age with a clear consciousness of his Ryan Gosling-esque self image, you can argue you that he's not actively trying to relate to his technologically addicted players as much as he just instinctually does relate to them like a young, cool Uncle of sorts. Whatever the case may be, not updating your techniques in dealing with the new, more narcissistic breed of young adult like they are all as laser-focused on film study as Larry Fitzgerald is a good way to find yourself being tuned out in favor of a timeline.
The truth is, I judge people for aimlessly scrolling through their phone at the table about as often as I catch myself involuntarily scrolling through my phone at the table. Therefore, as incredibly pathetic as it might be, maybe the occasional break for a notification check is what you have to give to get today's pro athletes to fully take to your approach. Either way, I can pretty much guarantee that Kliff Kingsbury won't be a failure based on the amount of time his team spends on social media.
What he will be, however, is a parody if he just so happens to fail while also being the most stereotypical version of a stereotypical hire. Before Kliff Kingsbury even gelled his hair and slid on his designer sunglasses for the first time as the broke and beautiful man's Sean McVay for the Arizona Cardinals, the repressive old guard of NFL retreads already a skeptical eye on him as someone who didn't earn a job that he's historically too young, pretty, inexperienced for. I also tend to differ from 50-70 year old disciplinarians when it comes to preferred learning techniques. Unfortunately, I can't blame them for rolling their eyes when the formerly fired college coach whose lack of a need for an Instagram filter is as impressive as his lack of a need for a respectable resume decides his NFL team needs internet intermissions.
I guess my point is that maybe it's best not to play right into their predictable and generalized critiques by branding the time intervals between team meetings as "cellphone breaks" and actively encouraging online distractions. Sort of feels like we're one step away from post-practice lunch appearing on the itinerary as 'brunch'. Not that it would really make any difference whatsoever if it did, but it would sure make the millennial jokes a whole hell of a lot easier to come by if he falls flat on his face while also millennializing his roster's day-to-day routine. After all, it's not like doing so returned reverent results at a much lower level of football. He might just be a pioneer, but I think I'd market his new age tactics a little more professionally as they make him even more likely to become a punchline.
Jon Gruden Alleges That He Cried For Three Days After Trading Khalil Mack, Which Is A Lot Too Much To Be Even A Little True
While I have very little doubt that Jon Gruden is a passionate guy who wears his emotions on his sleeves and whose eyes have welled up, with either sorrow or joy, more from football than literally anything else in his life, I think doth protest just a few thousand too many tears here. As I recall, we're talking about a recent hire that didn't so much as reach out and initiate contact with Khalil Mack throughout his holdout, so implying that he spent upwards of 72 hours swimming in pool of his own sadness after an extended split that he snarled silently through seems a bit extreme.
You might be able to convince me that he cried himself through many "don't know what ya got 'til it's gone" type moments after the season started and he was getting beaten six ways to Sunday in the breakup. I'm sure his office got mildly dusty when #52 was wrecking havoc on the entire NFC North while he was stuck sounding nothing short of senile in answering to Oakland's inability to pressure any quarterback other than their own, but in the immediate aftermath of the trade? Nah.
That heartbreak was reserved for the Raiders' faithful that was left believing their team was too cheap to retain talent despite arranging a move to a city where money is no object and having just committed $100 million to a head coach that hadn't manned a sideline in a decade. Let's not retroactively manufacture the crocodile tears of some immediate mourning period as if Jon Gruden wasn't gung-ho in giving away a defensive destroyer the likes of which all other organizations were desperately searching for. That's a convenient rewriting of history after said quarterback killer predictably proceeded to have an unquantifiable impact on a playoff team, but it's not one that comes anywhere close to being considered non-fiction.
Due In Part To The Masterful Motivational Skills Of Sean Payton, The Saints Got Their Rule Change...And A Very, Very Slight Sense Of Closure
Thirty-one other inherently self-serving NFL head coaches. Thirty stubborn and oft-unrelatable NFL owners, with the only exception being that of a Bengals' organization that would be one step away from relegation if professional football were ever to enforce such a practice. One imbecile of an NFL commissioner, who'd rather beat off to his bank account than agree to make any sort of sizable changes to the league that keeps it fluidly flush at all times.
That concludes the list of powerful people who Sean Payton convinced to indirectly admit that his team suffered such an outrageous and inexcusable injustice that something absolutely had to be done to prevent the league from enduring such an unsightly black eye in the future...
Saints' fans and/or players are still far too cynical for even one to believe that this "win" comes even remotely close to making up for the harrowing and heart-wrenching loss that necessitated it. Be prepared to continue telling New Orleans as a collective to get over it, because this hardly signals the end of their spiteful grudge. However, it's tough to think about how unbelievably unlikely it is to get almost the entirety of the NFL's billion-dollar brain trust to agree on anything that doesn't have a dollar sign attached, as well as look at that warm embrace between Sean Payton and Gayle Benson, and not come to the conclusion that this is an accomplishment - albeit a bittersweet one - for those heavily invested in the franchise.
Now, this rule change is hardly a cure-all for negligent, cowardly, and flat-out piss poor officiating. You don't exactly need a telescope to foresee the stars of stupidity aligning in such a way that controversial pass interference calls, or lack thereof, endure the forever frustrating "what exactly is a catch?" treatment. That said, with the NFL's principled refusal to put any one of their many zeros worth of income towards the outcome of full-time referees whose jobs are actually dependent on identifying the blatantly obvious free from the game-situation during which it occurs, this is about the best anyone could hope for in terms of change.
Perhaps whatever impassioned speech Sean Payton gave in swaying the unforgiving audience in a room that's resistant to change to damn near unanimity should be made public so that everyone feels the same about the NFL's rare attempted fix to something that actually affects the integrity of football. This wasn't about retroactively righting one disgraceful and dishonorable wrong, as the Who Dat Nation will gladly be demeaningly loud and obnoxiously proud in letting you know that will always and forever be an impossibility. This was about making more fair a product that impacts the fickle job security of thousands, even if that is an on-going and imperfect process.
Root for the New Orleans Saints to ironically be on the wrong side of a rule their head coach was adamantly ingenious in having altered all you want, but don't say his head wasn't in the same place as his heart in doing so.