Brock Osweiler Also Sucks At Digesting Game Tape And Thinks He's Proven He Can Be A Starting Quarterback
It's not often that I instinctually have a visceral reaction to contextless quotes from professional athletes that fit within the unforgiving constraints of 140 characters, but this one got to me. Think of it in the same vein as "the coverup is worse than the crime". Brock Osweiler's insistence that his performance last year was that of a starting NFL quarterback is more incriminating than his performance last year that was threateningly reminiscent of a blind person playing darts after a dozen beers.
We are talking about a guy that was traded away from a team that is a mediocre QB away from contending for literally less than nothing. If I were put in charge of making the thankless decision of whether or not to start him I might actually use the above tweet as the basis for going with any one else. Yes, even more so than the game tape that shows him transforming DeAndre Hopkins from an All-World wideout into an innocent bystander.
You know how stupid people are exponentially more dangerous to themselves and others when they think they are actually smart? Crappy quarterbacks are the same way. The only thing that drowns your team faster than a guy who stinks under center is a guy who can't even comprehend that he sticks under center. If this Brock Osweiler blurb wasn't delivered as anything other sarcastic then he's not in need of more reps, he's in need of a psychological evaluation. Being irrationally confident can be a quality, but the ability to blissfully ignore hours upon hours of damning visual evidence is undoubtedly not.
Update: It's actually, somehow, even worse than I expected it to be...
It Doesn't Really Matter, But It Does Seem Odd That Odell Beckham Skipped OTA's To Kick It With Johnny Manziel
TMZ- Johnny Manziel recruited one of the best receivers in the league this week to help with his NFL comeback -- Odell Beckham!!
We're told Manziel and OBJ hit the gridiron for some passing drills while hanging with Odell's custom cleat artist, Kickasso ... and we're told the ex-Browns QB was firing the ball around -- lookin' like Johnny Football again.
Odell -- and few other receivers -- ran routes while Manziel threw them passes. Word is his arm looked strong, and his feet looked fast.
Look, I'm not going to pretend to care that Odell Beckham skipped some optional workouts to play catch with an unemployed "quarterback" who is apparently now marketing his (former?) addiction by rocking a "#LostInTheSauce" hat. I don't know why he would do so when he's already a lightning rod for controversy, but it's probably because Odell simply isn't being true to himself if he's not making news somehow. The idea that an NFL player's attendance at OTA's is discretionary is more in name than it usually is in practice, but I'm not going to kill the guy for getting started off on the wrong foot when that's exactly where he left off last season. I may question why he would prioritize some personal time with someone who has basically been ostracized (and rightfully so) from the same league that employs him, but what Odell Beckham wants to do on (what is technically) his own time is of no concern to me.
I just don't need these "scouting reports" that read like the Giants' superstar wideout is doing anything other than casually tossing the pigskin around the yard with a 24 year old has-been. His feet look fast and his arm looked strong? Really? That might be a fine standard to go if we were comparing "Johnny Football" to the Johnny Manziel that was stumbling drunk around the Caribbean looking like he was on a strict diet of blow and rabbit food. However, it's not exactly the most ringing endorsement of someone that's looking to transition from rehab to an NFL locker room. Like, let's not get duped into believing that Odell Beckham is playing sponsor to a guy who still has a long way to go to get back to the life he drank and snorted away. It's pretty clear he's just relaxing somewhere sunny with his shoe designer and some bum whose incessant attention seeking he can wholeheartedly relate to. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's certainly not going to help Giants' fans forget about what happened in Green Bay.
TimesNews- A third Elon University football player has been arrested for his alleged role in the surreptitious filming of a woman in a dorm room.
Marcus E. Willoughby, 18, of 201 Bridgefield Place, Apt. 131, Durham, was arrested Monday by the Elon University Police Department and charged with felony secret peeping.
He was booked in the Alamance County jail under a $15,000 bond.
According to an arrest warrant, on Jan. 15, Willoughby “did secretly and for the purpose of arousing sexual desire create a photographic video” using a laptop while in a dorm room in the university’s Danieley flats.
Willoughby, along with two other students arrested on the same charge a month ago, are accused of “capturing the image” of a woman without her consent.
I can't say that I was aware that Elon University had a football team, but at the exact moment I found out they had football team I also found out why I never knew of their existence. Seriously, how am I supposed to be aware of a program in the Colonial Athletic Conference if not even their co-eds are aware of it?
I know I have been led to believe this by every stereotypical sports movie ever made, but there's at least a hint of truth to football players being the "big men on campus" that don't often have to do much more than hold a roster spot to be privy to the advances of the fairer sex. Meanwhile, the voyeuristic schmucks at Elon are resigned to hiding in the bushes desperate to catch a glimpse of one single titty, because they aren't even good enough to have groupies. Most D1 athletes are recognizable to the naked eye, but members of the gridiron gang at a small school in rural North Carolina are held up in a closet in hopes of getting an eye on someone naked.
Not only is it criminal and disgusting behavior, but it's also sad that three scholarship athletes can't get laid and have to resort to making poorly produced pornographic photo-books. I swear I would pity their inability to parlay their playing status into sexual pleasure if I wasn't so busy looking down on them in shame as the perverted deviants they have proven to be.
ESPN- “I’m not for that at all,” Lewis, who is on the NFL Competition Committee, said of the change. “We had a good standard, and the whole standard has always been, you want to teach people how to play the game the correct way and go about it the correct way, and that’s not a very good example for young people.”
Lewis said he didn’t like the idea of emphasizing individuals in a team sport.
“The rules were changed for a reason, and I thought we had a good outcome,” he said. “Again, this is a team game, and … I don’t understand why we want to give in to individual celebrations.”
Generally I find it to be silly to compare apples to oranges. There's usually very little to gain from going the "oh yeah..." route with views that are merely disjointed in their hypocrisy. That said, if Marvin Lewis wants to die on this highfalutin hill then I feel like I should have the right to bury his body with the whole fucking fruit basket.
Marvin Lewis. The longtime (some might say way too long) head coach of the Cincinnati Bengals. The overseer of the roster who is notoriously well known for having a rap sheet that puts Jay-Z's discography to shame. The supervisor of a team who oddly makes concessions in the name of talent, but whose character issues only seem to manifest themselves in playoff losses.
Consider this - Marvin Lewis' organization just drafted a guy who was caught on camera shattering a woman's jaw and casually walking out of restaurant with no remorse like all he did was leave some spilled soda for someone else to clean up, and the sports world's collective reaction was "figures". Now granted, someone was going to give Joe Mixon a job, but that someone deserves to be shamed if they follow up that moral compromise by going the "what about the poor children?" route to impede the path towards more unflaggable end zone dances.
I'm fully aware that there's very little correlation between overindulgent displays of individuality and domestic abuse, but - Christ Almighty - if you are going to be so hyper critical of the former I would think you'd be a little less forgiving of the latter. Especially if your reasoning is predicated on teaching young people the correct way to handle their business. Call me crazy, but casting a guy with a history of putting himself above the team by acting outside of the law doesn't exactly fit the script in terms of the fictitious "all for one and one for all" scene that Marvin Lewis is trying re-create in his locker room. The grainy footage that made every other team in the league pass on the Bengals' new running back at least once is a lot more detrimental to the eyes of our youth than a clip of Antonio Brown performing a lap dance on a goalpost.
Roger Goodell Is Apparently Loosening Up On TD Celebrations, But I'm Fearful Of Where He Plans On Tightening Up
I can't believe I am going to say this, but this news concerns me. Of course I'm on board with all the over-the-top celebrations and appreciate that they will no longer be met with flying yellow flags that can impact the actual game, but the last person that us fans should want a favor from is Roger Goodell.
Think about the few times you have taken the opportunity to stop being a narcissistic asshole and actually committed yourself to doing even the smallest of good deeds. Doesn't engaging in common courtesy feel way better than it should for far too long simply because of how rarely you do it? Don't you use your generosity/hospitality/kindness to justify future instances in which you aren't as quick to be a nice person? Now imagine that phenomenon taking hold of the most stubborn, out-of-touch mind in professional sports.
All Roger Goodell did was allow players to express themselves in jubilation, but - considering how often he does right by his viewers - he's probably going to use that minor, obvious adjustment to rationalize about 10 other rule changes that counteract the interests of his consumers. I wouldn't be mildly surprised if we don't even get to see the undisciplined dance recitals because the commissioner of the NFL sold that airtime as ad space. We are talking about a person that's so blind, deaf, and dumb to society that he believes marijuana is more addictive than the pain killers his employees legally use to manage potentially life-altering injuries. If there's a son of a bitch that would give an inch just to try to distract half-drunk football fans with celebratory, premeditated prop comedy as he took a mile then it would be him. He might be loosening up that tie as a show of good faith, but - make no mistake - his ass his just as tight as ever.
Who Would Have Thought That A Random, Offseason Article About Michael Bennett's "Immaturity" Would Backfire This Badly?
SeattleTimes- I was 10 feet away from Bennett after that playoff loss to the Falcons when he ripped into a reporter for asking a fair question about the pass rush. He called him a “non-playing (expletive)” and asked what kind of adversity he’d been through, implying that there was no way it could be on par with an NFL player.
Well, that reporter survived cancer, which Bennett obviously didn’t know. But the fact that he never publicly apologized or even acknowledged it reeks of immaturity.
I don't think I am alone in claiming ignorance here. Seriously, who would have thought that an article targeting one of the most outspoken members of a notoriously media unfriendly locker room would be taken so poorly? I was simply stunned that Michael Bennett had a less than positive reaction to a that (in full) reads as follows: "Here's a bunch of good things about Seattle's defensive end just so it doesn't look like this is a blatant hit piece that I conjured up for clicks in the dead of the offseason when I take the turn and label him immature for something he did 4 months ago". Just an absolutely shocking response...until you see the most column crippling 'Editor's Note' in the history of typed word....
"(Editor’s note: This column has been clarified to reflect that Michael Bennett privately contacted a reporter to express regret about his response to a question following the Seahawks’ playoff loss to the Falcons.)"
Whoooooops. That whole "Michael Bennett is an unforgiving criticizer of cancer survivors" angle really gets it's legs chop blocked out from underneath it when you find out that it's subject actually apologized for his emotional/unintentional gaff in the most genuine, mature way possible. Saying "sorry" by way of a medium that's not entirely public and thus completely incredulous? Who even knew that was a thing that existed in 2017?
Man, if only there were a way that author Matt Calkins could have avoided being made to look like an informed jackass that potentially cost his publication access to certain areas of the Seahawks locker room. I'd have to do my research, but - off the top of my head - I can't think of anyway to make sure you have your facts straight when taking a retroactive stand on behalf of a colleague (and a retroactive stab at a professional athlete) other than by talking to that colleague even once between the months of January and May. Honestly? It's a good thing the journalist didn't go the investigative route or the integrity of his moot message would have been shot to shit before he even had a chance to share it with the world.
ESPN- Recently released by the Carolina Panthers in a cost-cutting move, Boston had three suitors in the Chargers, the Buffalo Bills and the Pittsburgh Steelers.
After visiting all three teams, Boston said he prayed for clarity as traveled back home to Charlotte, North Carolina, to make his decision. That's when he stopped by the local gas station, even though he had a half a tank, to take advantage of a price that had dropped from $3.29 to $3.10 a gallon.
"I crossed two lanes to get to the gas station," Boston said. "I pump my gas. After I pump my gas, I put my wallet in my car. After I put my wallet in my car, there's a guy with three kids and he asked me for a little bit of change, or if I had a dollar or two. I gave him a $20.
"So he tells me thank you so much, and that God put me in his life for a reason. And in my mind I'm saying you're here for a reason, too. So in my mind I'm saying should I ask him, 'L.A. or Buffalo.' And before I could ask him, my man told me, 'Thank you so much. There aren't too many people like you in this world, God's children. My name's Mike Daniels, but people call me L.A.'"
Boston said he started crying, taking the nickname of his new friend as a sign from the man upstairs that he should join the Chargers.
And as he reached for a tissue in his car, Boston said he thought he saw Jesus on an advertisement stand selling gas station cards.
Boston said he glanced back and on the stand he saw a card that said, "Jesus saves." The two men talked for another half hour before saying their goodbyes.
Let's just cut to the chase here. The Chargers were the right choice for Tre Boston. That's not so much an endorsement of his devout decision making process as it is an assumption that his "what if God was a slob like one of us?" mentality is just a better fit for Los Angeles than it is for Pittsburgh or Buffalo.
Now, I'm not trying to put down anybody's religion here. However, to think that Jesus saved in this situation would be to think that Jesus was letting some homeless dude wander the streets begging for money with his three children in tow and only decided to interject when he realized that a professional football player needed guidance on where to make his millions. Call me crazy, but it seems bit self centered for Tre Boston believe that his Lord and Savior dropped everything to make a guest appearance in his life by selling discounted fuel during a period of time as "tragic" as free agency. I'll admit that Mike Daniels going by the nickname 'L.A' is a bit odd, but not nearly as odd as being narcissistic enough to conclude that your professional path was a priority for the man above.
That's not to say this isn't an example of everything happening for a reason. It very well may be, but it's definitely not because God plays matchmaker by orchestrating chance encounters between strangers whose lives are heading in polar opposite directions. It's because the people that truly trust that he is whenever they have a decision to make tend to do well living in regions where the locals get a littttttttle too much sun. Just saying, the fine folks of Buffalo don't seem like the laid back type that would hear someone out if they started talking about seeing supreme beings in a piece of toast. If for no other reason than because their weed just isn't as potent.
Shockingly, I'm not an expert on gang rape so I can't definitively speak on the predominant motive behind them. I would think that they are generally just the result of a bunch of criminal minded predators ending up horny and alone while perpetuating their own deviant thoughts. I could be wrong, but it doesn't seem like the type of activity you would do solely to strengthen a kinship.
That said, if there was a ever a group that was going to be inspired to commit outnumbered sexual assaults on women in the spirit of brotherhood and unity then that group would likely have a Baylor football scholarship in common. If there's a program that would steer clear of paintball trips and fireside chats in lieu of calculated acts of violence that required inducing young, vulnerable women with debilitating drugs then that program would reside in Waco, Texas.
It's almost like Art Briles heard someone use the term "rape culture" while walking past him down the street and he immediately decided it sounded like a hell of a team building philosophy without even giving it so much as a Google search. With 52 acts of sexual misconduct officially in writing, I am not sure anything would surprise me anymore. You could tell me that Art Briles sat at the foot of the bed using a significantly different type of rape whistle to make sure all of his players got their "reps" in and I would only think slightly less of him, because you can't really get much lower than scum of the Earth. To team up on 18-19 year old girls and come away afterwards feeling closer as a unit would be such a nauseating display of groupthink that it would make the gluten-free craze look like a product of individualism by comparison. Yet somehow - given the obscene circumstances - it feels like the most logical explanation for a football team turning a college campus into the type of environment that Liam Neeson would kill an entire roster to save his daughter from.
ESPN- Here is the full breakdown of Peterson’s contract:
Signing bonus: $2.5 million
2017: $1 million base salary (fully guaranteed).
2018: $1.05 million base salary. $750,000 roster bonus due on third day of league year. $50,000 workout bonus. Up to $1.25 million in weekly roster bonuses for every week spent on the 53-man roster, injured reserve or physically-unable-to-perform list. Up to $400,000 in additional per-game roster bonuses for every game on the active 46-man roster.
Incentives in 2017 and 2018: Up to $8.25 million in total (see breakdown below).
Rushing yard incentives: $150,000 for 750 rushing yards OR $250,000 for 1,000 rushing yards OR $750,000 for 1,250 rushing yards OR $1 million for 1,500 rushing yards.
Note: If Peterson reaches any of those incentives in 2017, his 2018 weekly roster bonus total will increase by the same amount.
Touchdown incentives: $250,000 for 6 rushing/receiving touchdowns OR $500,000 for 8 rushing/receiving touchdowns OR $750,000 for 10 rushing/receiving touchdowns IF he also leads the NFL in rushing touchdowns.
Team/player performance incentives: $250,000 if Peterson runs for 750 yards in the regular season AND plays in wild-card or divisional playoff game. OR $500,000 if Peterson runs for 750 yards in the regular season AND plays in conference championship game. OR $1 million if Peterson runs for 750 yards in the regular season AND Saints win Super Bowl.
The maximum Peterson can earn if he hits every incentive (including those 1,500-yard seasons and Super Bowl wins) is $15.25 million over two years.
There are a hell of a lot of numbers floating around up there and I have very little interest in breaking down all the scenarios - of varying unlikelihood - so let's just put it terms that every can understand. Adrian Peterson could potentially earn 15.25 million dollars over the course of the next two years, and if he does so then the New Orleans Saints will be back-to-back Super Bowl Champions having won those games by an average of 25 (sorry not sorry, Falcons fans) points. Unfortunately, it would also make Mark Ingram go from 'happy camper' to Jason Voorhees, but - as long as Drew Brees isn't included in the body count - he would yawn his way to ludicrously efficient numbers that would require a workload that's lighter than Adrian Peterson's baggage.
Now, none of that is coming anywhere close to fruition because 'AD' is 32 years old, coming off a season ending injury, undoubtedly slated at #2 on the depth chart, and more than likely needs to change his nickname to 'Half Day'. Still, it's nice to know that he's incentivized to regain his 'Hall Of Fame' form. If money is the motivation then there should be no shortage of will powering his wheels. You'd be an idiot to let a couple eye-popping incentives that were thrown in to sweeten a deal that was surely humbling effect your expectations, but it's mildly comforting to know that there's more than 3.5 million reasons for the Saints' backup running back to stay on the field and out of Sean Payton's doghouse.
It's exceedingly difficult to come away from that clip with anything but a smile on your face. It's cool to see the leader of an NFL team take interest in another local franchise and encourage fan support within a rowdy building that might falsely lead him to believe that the NHL actually can do a mediocre job marketing itself outside of notorious hockey cities. To watch him do it with five overweight dudes showering themselves with obnoxiously expensive, XL beers in the background only enhances what was already a pretty awesome visual.
That's why it's crazy to think that there are more than likely people out there that would have had it ruined for them if the sixth attending member of the Tennessee Titans - who also happens to be of-age - partook in spilling overpriced suds down his shirt.
Maybe I'm not giving enough credit to those who have proven - time and time again - that they don't deserve it. That said, don't you think that one or two talking heads would at least pretend to have a problem if a starting quarterback in the NFL was slugging stadium brews like he was trying to make up for his 4th year of college that proved unnecessary? Am I crazy to think that people would be searching for a way to spin a 23 year old professional athlete letting loose at a sporting event during the offseason as something that was inappropriate to do in public given his position?
It's objectively hilarious when the handful of bruisers that are paid to protect him (or as NBCSN likes to acknowledge them, the world's largest footnote) treat a televised appearance like it's a tailgate. However, given the overblown scrutiny that usually surrounds those under center, I would be interested to see if that opinion slightly differed if the one guy who has the fate of the franchise resting on his right arm had been equally as bold with his boozing. I'm pretty sure that Marcus Mariota was a bit of a goody two shoes when he first came into the league so maybe he's more of a "white wine spritzer when the occasion calls for it" kinda guy, but I can't help but think that his oft-dissected status as the front man in the huddle deterred him from cheers'ing as much as cheering. As someone that loves a good, old fashioned chug off, it makes me sad that my first thought was that there are definitely some that are mildly hypocritical in how they view them.
Russell Wilson Wouldn't Mind Having Colin Kaepernick As His Backup, As If That Were An Actual Question
Wait just a damn minute. Do you mean to tell me that Russell Wilson would be totally fine with having his former division rival ride the bench behind him? That doesn't sound right at all. Why would a player want someone he was once compared to - ad nauseam - taking up an inferior roster spot while having no realistic chance of pushing him for the starting job? It's not like a professional athlete would ever be so petty to view his spot a top the depth chart as the official nail in the coffin to the now antiquated debate of who was the better young, mobile quarterback in the NFC West, so why would Russell Wilson agree to letting Colin Kaepernick join the roster as nothing more than an insurance policy? Doesn't make a lick of sense to me. I know that I - personally - would absolutely loathe being placed in a position of direct superiority over someone who was arguably considered better than me in the not-so-distant past. Relinquishing the role of clear #2 to a guy that was once a 1(a) or 1(b) - depending who you asked in 2012 - in a heated, ongoing feud between proud, competitive franchises? Other than an ego boost that could shoot his self esteem through the glass ceiling by which black quarterbacks are viewed, what's in it for Russell Wilson?
CBS- Patrick Mahomes II, the No. 1 draft pick for the Kansas City Chiefs, and three others were reportedly robbed at gunpoint in Smith County on May 12.
According to a press release from the Smith County Sheriff's Office, deputies were sent to a residence on Mansion Creek Circle around 9:15 p.m. in reference to an aggravated robbery.
The victims reported they were approached by two suspects while exiting a vehicle at the residence. One of the suspects "was seen gesturing as if he had a handgun in his waistband."
The suspects demanded property from the four victims before fleeing in a vehicle. No one was injured during the robbery.
After getting vehicle and suspect descriptions, deputies were able to quickly find the vehicle, conduct a traffic stop near County Road 273, and arrest the two suspects inside, identified as 34-year-old Michael Blake Pinkerton and 58-year-old Billy Ray Johnson. Both were transported to the Smith County Jail.
Obviously Pat Mahomes' physical and emotional well being is paramount right now, so the question I am about to ask probably isn't the most important one that arises when you hear that a soon-to-be NFL quarterback was robbed at gunpoint, but - in my opinion - it is the most intriguing. So, without further ado, do we think that this theft was premeditated and aimed at a specific target? Like, did these dudes hunt down the Chiefs' successor under center because they figured he would be a profitable take, or were they just moseying around developments looking to stick up anyone that picked a bad time and place to put it in park? From the looks of these guys they don't appear to have the capability to put an outfit together...
....never mind a calculated, criminal plan of attack, so it's likely the latter. However, if it's the former then they are even dumber than your average culprit of armed robbery. It's safe to say that it's never a good idea to try hold up a professional athlete under the threat of potentially fatal violence, but - from a return on vandalism standpoint - it's a decidedly worse idea when the professional athlete in question hasn't even signed his rookie contract yet. I want to give these larcenists the benefit of the doubt in assuming they didn't knowingly try to extort an NFL player before he even had the opportunity to drop some NFL money on some egregiously indulgent jewelry. Unfortunately, I can't do so without considering the possibility that middle aged men in Texas are roaming through neighborhoods pointing guns at random, innocent people in their own damn driveways, and that's not a reality I want to live in.
Say what you want about Eddie Lacy and his propensity to pack on pounds faster than Kirstie Alley, but don't tell me he hasn't done a hell of a job managing expectations. He might be a professional athlete that can't be trusted to walk past a donut shop without supervision, but he's a professional athlete that's literally and figuratively rolling in dough for being insanely mediocre in his preparation for his lucrative profession.
Consider this, a running back just got a bonus for weighing in at approximately 30 pounds heavier than the league average at his position. Seattle had so little faith in Eddie Lacy's ability to go 24 hours without a cheat day that they attached a five figure price tag to a number that's not even remotely impressive. The Seahawks are like the parents that think their child is so dumb that they offer him a raise in his allowance if he can maintain a 'C' average. I would think that an NFL skill position player would consider a proverbial pat on the ass for not ballooning up beyond repair in the offseason to be disingenuous, but - with that undeserved $55,000 check in his pocket - surely he's laughing straight to the bank before waddling straight to the nearest 'Baskin Robbins'. Eddie Lacy hasn't just successfully gotten NFL teams to except him at his bloated body fat percentage. He has gotten them to financially incentivize him to not get so big that he needs to be put on the offensive line because he can no longer fit through it.
Packers' Safety Haha Clinton-Dix Had Some...Uh...Loaded Advice For Bears' Receiver Kevin White After His Car Got Jacked
This may come as a huuuuuge surprise, but I'm fairly naive to gun ownership throughout professional sports. I don't know how many players are packing - legally or otherwise - and I have a feeling that even considering myself open-minded wouldn't save me from shock if I ever found out. What I do know is that the NFL - as an entity - probably isn't too fond of it's athletes publicly encouraging their peers to carry firearms. Surely my life experiences have been much different than those of Haha Clinton-Dix so I won't criticize him for using the method of self preservation that he sees fit. After all, "keepin' da heat on ya" may very well be sound advice for someone whipping a Maserati around a bad part of town. I just think it's advice whose volume probably should have been turned down just a little bit.
I can't be certain, but the multi-billion dollar brand that employs an apparent gun enthusiast might not be so understanding of his openness about his loaded insurance policy. Considering his stance on something as globally accepted as marijuana usage, the Commish who has proven that his authority knows not a single bound might have some slightly ignorant thoughts on the matter of deadly weaponry.
Now, Kevin White could potentially benefit from the suggestion of a division rival, but he could have benefited just as well if that suggestion were sent to him via DM instead of broadcasted - for hundreds of thousands to see - in response to an NFL affiliate's social media post. I don't know that Roger Goodell can do all that much about Haha Clinton-Dix outing himself as someone whose protection plan is easily triggered, but - with his recent history - I would probably keep the safety on so as to not haphazardly fire off tweets promoting gun violence.
P.S. On a more important note, I'm glad that Kevin White and his girlfriend are safe and sound after getting out of a senseless, dangerous situation.
Well, looks like someone's excited to a member of the Cleveland Browns! David Njoku is chomping so hard at the bit to get out on the field with his brand new teammates thaaaaaat he can't even recognize the most accomplished member of the team he's joining. I don't want to bash the guy too hard because the casual football fan could easily mistake Joe Thomas for a coach when he doesn't have pads on. I guess I just assumed that a 20 year tight end that just got selected in the first round of the NFL draft would study the roster more than the dude who just uses football as an excuse to eat and drink in excess on Sunday afternoons. I could be wrong, but putting in the effort to identify a couple guys you are joining at a work dinner seems like a good idea. Especially when one of those guys happens to be one of the best in the league at his position, and could potentially be lining up next to you in a few short months.
I wouldn't expect David Njoku to be able to put every name to every face, but maybe - just maybe - it would be wise to commit the Paul Bunyan-esque appearance of the only Pro Bowler on the roster to memory. David Njoku basically just showed up to his new job for the first time and asked the Vice President of the company if he could show him how to configure the office email. Maybe thinking that all monstrous white men look alike isn't the most inexcusable of mistakes, but it's definitely not one that's made by professionals.
LBS- Tom Herman is doing work entering his first season at Texas and has been busy trying to flip recruits. He’s successfully flipped a few from Oklahoma, which may have led to this tweet being sent by Oklahoma DBs coach Kerry Cooks on Monday...
Usually I am critical of the "well, actually..." crowd. The fact that the lovely woman who went that particular route summoned the encyclopedic description of a certain breed of animal should only make her retort more insufferable. Unfortunately - in this case - she's simply too correct (and attractive) to dismiss.
I wouldn't know Kerry Cooks from any middle-aged man walking down the street in an Oklahoma Sooners' polo but he probably shouldn't concern himself with promotion, because clearly he doesn't know what it takes to be the head coach of a college football team. I know "a wolf in sheep's clothing" is supposed to be an insult, but show me a sheepish recruiter and I'll show you the next addition to the unemployment line. Did a conference rival's defensive backs coach really search Google to not-so-subliminally mention that Tom Herman is a nice guy on the surface and a ruthless, take-no-prisoners predator when it comes to his business? If so, then those Pinocchio emojis seem pretty out of place following a compliment.
Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, Jim Harbaugh, Les Miles, and - yes - even Bob Stoops. They all have one thing in common, and it's that they would nut in your wife if they thought her womb was capable of producing a 5-star recruit 19 years down the road. Considering the state of Texas' football, they needed someone that would embrace the "mess with the bull, you get the Longhorns" mindset. Going on Twitter to call Tom Herman a hunter that preys on vulnerable, impressionable 18 year olds is essentially the equivalent of giving him an online pat on the ass, because it doesn't just prove that he's doing his job. It proves he's doing it well.
Okay fine, so the original "apology" that he posted for his inexcusable, unrepentant reaction to being reminded of his own despicable past of domestic violence had a bit of a "I'm sorry that you feel that way" vibe to it, but that revised version? They don't come much more genuine than that, folks. Everyone knows that a person's true feelings only come out when they are geotagged at the office of their employer. Frank Clark might have misspoke by implying that women can only work in a profession that doesn't involve cooking or cleaning for so long before their boss remembers that they have a vagina and promptly fires them. However, it's tough to argue that he didn't make up for his sexist remark by sitting down - free of supervision, of course - and conjuring up an articulate public statement that reads much more compassionately than anything he's ever written on that very same Twitter account previously. I was all set to consider him a hopeless human being that still doesn't recognize members of the fairer sex as his equal, but after seeing that carefully crafted, copy-and-pasted admission of guilt I can't help but think that it's definitely/totally/finally his true self that is speaking on his behalf instead of his "emotions".
Three Masked Illinois Football Players Were Caught Robbing An Apartment After Apparently Forgetting They Are Football Players
DrSaturday- Three Illinois football players were arrested on Wednesday on charges of home invasion and armed robbery after an alleged incident at a school dormitory.
Darta Lee, Zarrian Holcombe and Howard Watkins were all booked throughout Wednesday morning at Champaign County Jail, according to online records. All three are set to be arraigned at 1:30 p.m. CT on Thursday.
Champaign police Lt. Dave Shaffer told the (Champaign) News-Gazette that the incident appeared to be a “stupid plan” that went wrong once the victim recognized the voice of one of the players.
From the newspaper:
“Three individuals entered an apartment masked and the victim recognized one of them by voice,” Shaffer said. “He pulled his mask off and tried to make light of the situation. One of them produced what we now know to be fake firearm and demanded cash.”
I would love to play the contrarian here, but it's tough not to agree with the Police Lieutenant in saying this was - indeed - a stupid plan. Three football players thinking that they could rob the apartment of someone that knew at least one of them well enough to be like "Darta? That you bro?" when he said "give me all your money now" is - objectively speaking - not smart. Continuing to carry out the theft after your accomplice unveils his not-so-secret identity is - without question - actually dumb. That said, I can't help but think that quick and easy voice recognition wasn't even the most mind-numbing aspect of this attempted robbery.
Consider this - Darta Lee is 6'3, 300 pounds, Zarrian Holcombe is 6'6, 220 pounds, and Howard Watkins is 6'5, 280 pounds. Who the fuck did they think they were fooling with ski masks? I admittedly haven't visited the University of Illinois, but something tells me that trio tends to stick out around campus. I'm honestly shocked that the victim had to hear them speak before putting the pieces together. I bet the guy that they tried to stick up could recognize them from afar while they are running around the practice field in full pads and helmets, so why the hell would a thin piece of black cloth over their faces throw him off their scent? You know how people say that the kid that matures faster than his peers "doesn't know his own strength"? Well, it's very clear that these three stooges don't know their own damn size, because I'm almost positive that they gave themselves away the second they had to duck through the doorway they kicked open.
You'd Have To Be An Idiot To Believe There Was Anything To The Mark Ingram For Jason Kelce Trade "Rumor"
LBS- On Wednesday, ESPN’s Adam Schefter told 97.5 The Fanatic that there is “absolutely nothing” to the reports of a potential Ingram-for-Kelce swap.
“There is absolutely nothing to that. There was absolutely never anything to that,” Schefter said, as transcribed by Matt Lombardo of NJ.com. “I spoke to people in both organizations, and they both said the same thing; ‘We’ve never spoken.’ I don’t know where that started. Maybe that would start talks up now, but I doubt it based on those reactions from both organizations. That was never in the works. I don’t want to say it would never happen, because stranger things have happened, but I’m just telling you there is nothing to that as of right now.”
Ahh, the internet - where one random person's thought can be considered a "rumor" that's strong enough that it's denouncement is newsworthy. Max Unger was deemed doubtful to be ready for the start of the regular season for all of about 12 hours (tops), and somehow the Saints had already had extensive talks about trading their starting running back for his replacement. Merely the beginning of May with their center's rehab yet to be underway, and Sean Payton and Mickey Loomis were so desperate for a 2-4 week starter (if that) in the middle of a newly rebuilt offensive line that they put their only proven, versatile rusher on the trading block.
Seems legit. The Saints front office probably hung up to debate the pros and cons and only then did they check to how the surgery that made it thee most remote of possibility went. Nothing fishy about the timing of that "report". You know, unless you factor in that the source carrying it was a "little birdie". Then - and only then - might it begin to stink to the highest of heavens...
Seahawks' Frank Clark Decided To Respond To An Old Article About His Questionable Past With Some Blatant Sexism
Oh, the irony of any NFL player - never mind one with a history of domestic violence - critiquing the professional longevity of literally any other person in any other career. Frank Clark could sprain his ankle tripping over his rap sheet tomorrow and potentially end up unemployed. It's not likely considering he had double digit sacks last season, but a defensive end on his non-guaranteed rookie contract is throwing rocks from behind his glass fish tank if the argument is about job security.
Now, obviously the more important issue here is that his tweet was blatantly sexist and mildly threatening, but - hey - Rome wasn't built in a day. You don't go from getting tossed off your college team for assaulting your girlfriend to leading the march for equal rights in three short years. I know he was wrong for targeting a writer's gender because she reposted a fact-based piece about his past, but at least he didn't escort her to a hotel room and knock her unconscious. That's a little something we call progress!
Let's not just assume that this ill-advised tweet proves that getting dismissed from the University of Michigan and narrowly avoiding arrest didn't teach him anything. When the first lesson is "stop punching women in the face" the learning curve to treating them with respect can be pretty, pretty long. It's clear that Frank Clark still has a long way to go before he's the type to hold the door open for the fairer sex in the literal sense, but - metaphorically speaking - Natalie Weiner didn't even have to knock to get offered a stereotypical job opportunity! Turns out chivalry isn't dead, it was just injured by the insulting, misogynistic overtones of a professional athlete who somehow still doesn't understand equality.