TheBigLead- Harvard-Westlake School, a prominent private school in the Los Angeles area, shut down today after a security threat. Police said, via CBS Los Angeles, that this closure “was due to a former student, now an adult, who made threats in an Instagram post Thursday.” According to 12up.com writer Nick Brown, Jonathan Martin, the former Miami Dolphins offensive lineman who was an alumnus of Harvard-Westlake, posted this in his Instagram story:
Oh, the irony. The former professional football player that infamously couldn't handle some locker room hazing that more than likely went a bit above and beyond has some lessons to teach us about bullying. The first - and you might want to write this down, because it's definitely the most important - is that it's only okay when he does it. Seriously, how else would you describe scaring an entire high school into shutting its doors with a clear and present threat of violence when said type of violence currently has the entire nation restless? Clearly Jonathan Martin isn't "all there", but suffering from emotional distress doesn't make him any less guilty of inflicting that same angst to the nth degree unto hundreds of uninvolved and innocent students as well as their friends and family. Sometimes words hurt more than that 'sticks and stones' saying implies, but they don't cause nearly as much pain and anguish as the visual of a firearm, live ammunition, an ominous quote about death, and an extensive list of potential targets. This is probably more of a cry for help than anything else, but trying to assume what's truly going through the mind of someone who would post something so sinister and psychotic on social media is a losing proposition. Therefore, I think were about five years late on isolating Jonathan Martin from society for good. While I have no doubts that Richie Incognito tends to push the boundaries and misread situations when it comes to fucking around, there's only been one teammate that's taken serious umbrage with it. Not so coincidentally, it just so happens to be the crazy person that ironically stole a bullying tactic in trying to humanize school shooters and mass murderers by way of ambiguous threat. UPDATE: Whew...
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YardBarker- Speaking about Jackson during a segment on ESPN, Polian said Jackson doesn’t have the frame or raw passing ability to become a successful NFL passer.
“I think wide receiver,” Polian said. “Exceptional athelete, exceptional ability to make you miss, exceptional acceleration, exceptional instinct with the ball in his hand and that’s rare for wide receivers. That’s [Antonio Brown], and who else? Name me another one, Julio [Jones is] not even like that.” “Short and a little bit slight,” Polian said of Jackson. “Clearly, clearly not the thrower that the other guys are. The accuracy isn’t there.” ----- Calling this particular prospect "too short" to play quarterback is only more factually incorrect than it is casually prejudice. That said, I can totally see how that cliched critique snuck it's way into the scouting report from a senile old man whose days benefiting from the luck of the Peyton Manning draft are long over. At 6'3 and 210 pounds, Lamar Jackson might not be diminutive by any standard other than that of LeBron James, but he is very fast, insanely athletic, and super African American. When it comes to taking the stance that a Heisman Trophy winning passer should just up and switch to an entirely different position on a whim prior to attempting a single throw at the combine, three out of four ain't all that bad. After all, there's only a finite amount of conclusions that can be drawn from looking at a player instead of actually watching them play. It just so happens that Bill Polian got his racially charged buzzwords mixed up. He's so used to referring to a lack of height as a measurable that foreshadows failure under center that he just instinctively associated it a player that he's blindly deemed unqualified to play quarterback for a much more antiquated reason. Hell, you can even make the argument that Bill Polian - for the first time in a long time - doesn't see color, because shortness of stature is generally a boilerplate weakness for white passers. You'd easily lose that argument seeing as he was clearly just throwing a bunch of unoriginal and overdone shortcomings at the wall in hopes that a couple would stick, but if - for some reason - you really wanted to make him out to be something other than everything that's wrong with the draft process then that's what I would go with.
Well, when you put it like that, it's hard to think of a legitimate reason why the artist that voluntarily decided to go by the name Fergie wouldn't turn the Star Spangled Banner into a cringeworthy display of glorified syllable pronunciation. After all, she's a risk taker, and if there's anything that we've learned about this country the last 18 months, it's that risks taken during the singing of the National Anthem are almost unanimously met with compassion, understanding, and an open mind. No, but seriously. If Colin Kaepernick and the like "disrespected the flag" when they knelt in honor of unjustly murdered African Americans then I shudder to think what law of Patriotism was broken by Fergie dishonorably murdering the eardrums of a viewing audience. Comparatively speaking, pledging artistic license in your Robert Durst-esque dismemberment of a commemorative song has to be considered such an egregious act of treason that it would have Paul Manafort Russian to her defense. Remixing the National Anthem is like repainting the Mona Lisa. While I personally don't think either of them are flawless, it's pretty clear that the vast majority of society has agreed to pretend they are for the sake of familiarity. So let's just put the chips on the table here. Grammy's be damned, because Fergie is more qualified as an asshole than she is as an artist. Look at it the following way. The mark of a great artist is having no limits. The mark of a good artist is knowing their limits. The mark of a shitty artist is using the notoriety gained from referring to something as beautiful as a woman's curves as "lady lumps" to justify the decision to deafly ignore the limitations of intact mirrors. I want to give her credit for uniting the entire nation through laughter and mockery, but this isn't Fergie's first rodeo when it comes to orally crapping out a rendition of the National Anthem that, in the moment, made me wonder what vocal stylings Afghanistan has to offer. Ignorance nor artistry are valid excuses for someone who is now a repeat offender of being a tone-deaf asshole...
P.S. The internet wins again...
Welp, when you're right...you're right, and they simply don't get any further right than Tomi Lahren's wicked, horse-faced stepmother Laura Ingraham. She might wrong about LeBron James leaving high school early - which he quite obviously didn't - and be completely ignorant to the most intrinsic values of free speech, but when it comes to making her opposition's point for them, this bigoted bitch couldn't have been anymore spot on! While the first question that comes to the mind of anyone with a soul is "who's this they you are referring to you trifling trout-mouth of a political pollutant?", I suggest that instead of asking it we silently pull over on the road to understanding to get lectured by the head officer of the grammar police. Ironically, as condescending as the racial overtones of "shut up and dribble" happen to be, it's actually not the worst advice I've ever heard. As citizens of a free country they certainly aren't legally required to, but - if they so choose - LeBron James and Kevin Durant can feel free to focus on basketball knowing full well that Laura Ingraham is doing a fine job of making Donald Trump look like a divisive dolt with her own discriminatory drivel. So take heed to the cautionary tale of a kid who came from nothing to shoot to the peak of his profession while further monetizing his transcendent talents through a wide variety of business ventures. After all, he used the wrong tense of a word or two in frustratingly telling an obvious truth. Therefore, he must not be educationally inclined to speak on the oft-bankrupt billionaire who was raised off silver spoon-fed bullshit.
Because what better to way to show you are serious about continuing to promote racial equality than by abusing that objectively good cause in a shamelessly see-through attempt to deflect from your own rampant neglect of the most disgustingly criminal form of gender inequality?!? Honestly, if the slogan "We Talk, We Listen" were just a litttttttle less painfully ironic given the circumstances, I'm sure the only thing people would be talking about is how open Michigan State's ear is to those that go under-protected. Granted, even thinking it's okay to try to change the subject is disturbing in its own right, but surely it was just the semantics - and not the time, place, and overwhelming lack of compassion given and responsibility taken - that kept this fashion statement from successfully sheltering the Spartans from the long overdue backlash from multiple covered-up sexual assaults. Some might say it's a strange time to overanalyze words that not-so-inconspicuously imply a prioritization of support to a marginalized group other than young, defenseless women, and to that I say #MeToo. In all seriousness, what happened to the profession of public relations? Like, shouldn't all these organizations whose every move is being dissected with a fine tooth comb have at least one person on staff whose expertise is in making sure they don't appear as though they are taking sarcastic jabs at their own heinous press clippings? Hiring someone to give those entering the public eye a thee old parental once-over seems like a no-brainer in these types of situations, but it feels like every other day there's a brand or business entity that's apparently left that role unfilled. Both Michigan State's President and Athletic Director were forced into resignation for not listening, but the most visible members of the school have that empty obligation screen printed across their chests? Higher education has truly never done a more adequate job of smoking up to its name. While I advocate for all forms of equality, I haven't exactly championed the movement. I do, however, feel pretty confident in saying that the people who have would agree that you shouldn't openly condemn one type of inequality when it appears at though your campus was a goddamn hotbed for another. The failure to see the hypocrisy in doing so is liable to have you playing dumber than Tom Izzo than in an interrogation...
OutSports- Ottawa Senators hockey announcers Dean Brown and Gord Wilson were promoting their post-game radio call-in show on TSN1200 Saturday for the game against the Montreal Canadiens when the discussion veered into, of all things, the gay meet-up app Grindr.
Timothy Burke of Deadspin captured the audio, but here is a transcript: Dean Brown: “Gord and I ... [will take] calls, questions, emails — Tinder, Twitter, Grindr — all the social media stuff. They'll have that going on after the game tonight.” Gord Wilson: “Grindr?” Brown: “Well, I don't know what any of them do, so I just mention them all.” Wilson: “Is Grindr a thing?” Brown: “I guess so, I don't know what it is though.” Wilson: “Wow, I can only imagine what's found on Grindr or who's found on Grindr.” Brown: “I think it probably has something to do with those Mix Masters, those grinder attachments.” Wilson: “OK, uh-huh” Brown: “Probably all the things you can grind with one of those machines, cheese, vegetables. We'll get Matt to figure out what that is and let us know what Grindr actually is. I heard it and know it's part of the social media thing. Not that I’m old and not into this.” ---------- Not for nothing, but this entire interaction - completely free of it's inherent hilarity - is quite the endorsement of homosexuals and their ability to market themselves better than heterosexuals. Let's be real here. Tinder got mindlessly included in that extremely random list of irrelevant social medias due the popularity of the name, but Grindr got obliviously lumped in due to the catchiness of the name. Now, I'd absolutely love to find out where Dean Brown was when he overheard a conversation that made mention of a gay "dating" app that apparently stuck with him through to the broadcast. However, the fact that his partner heard it - presumably without any prior knowledge - and immediately knew they had ventured into questionable territory is a testament to how edgy said app sounds. It's 2017 so there's not anything weird or out of the ordinary about homosexuals wanting to sex each other up in a timely manner, but it's safe to say that the creators of Grindr were successful in having their product sound out of place as a way of contacting two older men interested in fetishizing nothing more than a repressed professional sport. Sports radio might be filled with blow hards, but - since the hosts generally do an anti-climactic job of providing stimulation - it's probably for the best that one of them was instinctually able to hear the need for a disassociation when the other completely misread the context of his technological eavesdropping. They are both a ways away from the loop, but at least someone in the booth had an elementary enough sense of brand awareness to realize that nothing about the name Grindr lends itself to conveniently offering crappy, frustratingly uninformed opinions about hockey. Shockingly, it wasn't the guy that thought meat pulverizers had their own means of online communication.
BostonGlobe- But others are speaking openly. In her complaint, Adrienne Lawrence describes a toxic environment at ESPN headquarters where men make unwanted sexual and romantic advances under the guise of networking or mentoring, and “mark” women as their own by spreading false rumors about sexual relationships with female employees.
Lawrence accused John Buccigross, a longtime SportsCenter anchor whom she viewed as a mentor, of sending unsolicited shirtless photographs of himself and calling her “dollface,” “#dreamgirl,” and “#longlegs” in messages from 2016 reviewed by the Globe. Lawrence said she tried to remain cordial in the messages but at one point responded: “You need to wear clothes, sir.” When rumors spread that the two were in a relationship, Lawrence repeatedly complained to company officials and was advised by a supervisor to drop the matter, according to the complaint. Lawrence said ESPN retaliated against her by reducing her on-air shifts and ultimately denying her a permanent position. The other fellow, a male, received a job offer. The Globe interviewed three former employees whom Lawrence had confided in at the time about her treatment and confirmed her account. Buccigross, roughly two decades older than Lawrence, acknowledged sending the photos but denied starting any rumors that the two were in a relationship. “I considered Adrienne to be a friend,” Buccigross said in a statement to the Globe. “I’m sorry if anything I did or said offended Adrienne. It certainly wasn’t my intent.” -------- I'm not going to lie, when you put it in print that accusation paints quite the inflammatory picture. Doll face? Long legs? Dream girl? Half naked pictures that were met with the text message equivalent of a finger wag? Not looking great for John Buccigross in his off-hours exchange with a female co-worker twenty years his junior. That is, until you see them in...wait, what's that thing we always tend to ignore because it gets in the way of a good story? Ahhhh, that's right, context... ....and with all the good that has come with women finally feeling empowered enough to out the perverts they encounter in the workplace, the bad of timely attempts to capitalize on how quick we have become to accept these allegations as fact was sure to follow. Admittedly, a couple innocent men having to wash themselves off after having their reputation dragged through the dirt is a small price to pay as the collateral damage for unveiling decades of marginalization by way of menacing misogyny. Still, now - more than ever before - we should force ourselves to examine these things on a case-by-case basis. In this case, the most problematic point of contact was this (strategically omitted by ESPN) selfie...
...thaaaaaat (refer back to the text exchange) was immediately met with a request to hang out. I'm no expert on sexual harassment, but I don't think victims of it repeatedly engage their assailant in hopes of meeting them privately to wash down home-cooked Italian specialities with an alcohol of their choice. I don't know if John Buccigross was actually in pursuit of Adrienne Lawrence, but if he was then the trail of amorous breadcrumbs she left is at least partially to blame. As far as I am concerned, the only creepy thing that the then 50 year old anchor is guilty of doing is texting like the 50 year old man that he was at the time. So if inter-company flirting is frowned upon then you can slap the sad face emoji on both of their records, but there was absolutely nothing one-sidedly sexual about an exchange that featured far too many winky faces to be assumed completely professional in nature. Now, these screenshots don't serve as a defense of the company that potentially wiped themselves clean of only the female minority when it looked as though two of their employees might be shitting where they ate, but they are undoubtedly an exoneration of John Buccigross as some sort of manipulative sexual deviant. I feel like that's a pretty fucking important distinction that wasn't even remotely made by the accuser in this article. Especially since the article continued on to trivialize the trials and tribulations of a pregnant woman who worked through a miscarriage on-air only to be laid off hours before returning from a subsequent, successful attempt at child birth by lumping them in some cutesy, well-received, back-and-forth banter... Shortly after Mike McQuade took over as vice president of SportsCenter in 2014, he questioned Walsh’s commitment because she also worked for The Fantasy Show during the football season. Walsh, who had recently signed a multi-year contract and helped host an opening for ESPN’s new digital center, was shocked that her new boss was raising concerns, according to three former employees briefed on the matter at the time. Walsh was so worried about her job that she decided not to call in sick when she started bleeding from a miscarriage during a work trip to Alabama. Instead, she went to the studio and anchored the show. She described the on-air miscarriage in an Instagram post on Mother’s Day this past year, but Walsh told the Globe she could not comment because she is still under contract. Former employees said that Walsh was upset that McQuade did not respond to an e-mail she wrote from the hospital about the miscarriage, and she was soon sent back to the same Alabama set where she had miscarried. After Walsh raised concerns about her treatment, she was told the matter had been investigated and was handled properly even though she was never interviewed, according to the former employees. Shortly after, Walsh was assigned to fewer shows, a move that she viewed as retaliation for speaking up, according to the employees. Walsh eventually conceived again and talked to human resources before she went on maternity leave to get assurances her position was safe. But days before she planned to return from maternity leave this past April, ESPN notified her that she was part of the layoffs. Welp, you can add that to the long list of things that people should never, ever do in a professional setting. Now, it's not exactly as damning as sending unprompted pictures of your genitals to a co-worker...or cutting out the technological middle man and just pulling your junk out when the mere presence of a woman makes your pants a wee bit tighter...or grabbing asses/breasts like a toddler that lacks all forms of coordination and understanding...or wrapping trunk-sized dildos for the 'White Elephant' exchange at the office...or talking to females that are in a professional setting as if they are far a more lascivious type of "pro"...or texting 'come' with a 'U' like you refined your one-sided sexting tactics in an AOL chatroom...or basically engaging in any of the other brothel-esque behavior that was allegedly taking place at the NFL Network. Still, referring to just about any group of people as "them" is a look so bad that even the people that originally came up with the practice hide themselves under white hoods. In this case, "them" happened to be loosely translated as "one of those there hooker ladies that values having both a career and a family", but - realistically - it could have just as easily been used to describe any demographic other than old and white in a derogatory manner. This may come as a surprise to the head of the NFL Network's talent agency that may or may not have given about a dozen sexual predators a stamp of approval, but there's more tender ways to ask about the potential availability of a prospective female employee than by examining her crotch and wondering out loud if it's currently doing side work in the baby making business. Now, more than ever, we really have to spell these things out for those in power so here's a little vocab lesson for anyone conducting interviews, when T...H...E...M is directed towards any sort of minority it can concluded that there is nothing 'pro' about that noun.
If we are being completely honest, that response is pretty damn harmless in comparison to a majority of the dumb thoughts and opinions that people with relative power feel oddly comfortable making available to the masses by way of the internet. It's admittedly pretty strange to see an older man with a semblance of prestige take aim at an innocent teenager who made the best decision for his future. That said, considering the buffoonery state of politics, I'm not so sure we shouldn't be praising butt hurt Bill Post in showing some restraint by limiting his baseless criticism to a wildly unnecessary "life lesson". Any respectable state representative would have just kept to himself, but oh well. At least this particular one is too heavily invested in the local college football scene to harbor hypocritical views of the way collegiate athletics are run. I mean, if he had something to say about the self confidence a high school senior showed in backing out of a handshake deal then surely he'll have some scathing retort for the head coach whose sudden departure for greener pastures prompted the "psych"-esque pulling of the hand in the first place. He's someone who has been made responsible for aiding in the making of decisions that could effect tens of thousands of people. There's no way Bill Post would be bird-brained enough to take umbrage with a kid exercising what few rights he has during the short amount of time he has them while also offering support to the grown ass adult whose untimely search for more money found said kid in an uncertain situation. Right? RIGHT?!?
The response, in a nutshell...
What it led to....
The allegation that ultimately killed the contract offer (as per Yahoo): On Aug. 25, 2015, former Penn State assistant coach Mike McQueary was deposed as part of a civil suit between the university and its insurance company over liability for payouts to victims of Sandusky. During the deposition, McQueary said he once discussed Sandusky with another Penn State assistant, Tom Bradley, who most recently was an assistant coach at UCLA. He said Bradley was not surprised by what McQueary told him because Bradley had heard similar. From the deposition: Q: “Did [Bradley] tell you that he had had information concerning Gerald Sandusky and children?” A: “He said he knew of some things. … He said another assistant coach had come to him in the early ’90s about a very similar situation to mine, and he said that he had — someone had come to him as far back as early as the ’80s about seeing Jerry Sandusky doing something with a boy.” Q: “Did he identify who the other coaches were that had given him this information?” A: “The one in the early ’90s, yes.” Q: “And who was that?” A: “Greg Schiano …” Q: “And did he give you any details about what Coach Schiano had reported to him?” A: “No, only that he had – I can’t remember if it was one night or one morning, but that Greg had come into his office white as a ghost and said he just saw Jerry doing something to a boy in the shower. And that’s it. That’s all he ever told me.” That is the extent of allegations involving Schiano, which first surfaced in 2016 during the unsealing of documents in the civil case. ----------- I'm not going to lie, those "Grumors" are a whole hell of a lot less funny now that they rose the hopes of the Tennessee fanbase to such egregious heights that they Volunteer'd the reputation of a man they simply didn't want to coach their favorite football team to absorb the blow when they inevitably came crashing back to earth. I can't fault a football program or it's fan base for not wanting to be even mildly affiliated with a name that was haphazardly implicated of covering up child rape, no matter how unsubstantiated the claim. However, I'd be very surprised if a vast majority of those that ran with the wild speculation that tarnished the career and character of a person realized the extent of the "evidence" against him was the litigious equivalent of a game of 'Telephone' with the last person being someone whose own damn testimony contradicted itself. Mike McQueary couldn't even consistently convey the unspeakable acts that he saw in those showers. I honestly wouldn't trust him to recall what he ate for fucking lunch, but his recollection of what someone he never worked with saw through the word of a third party that testified he never gave it is enough to officially declare Greg Schiano an accomplice to a generation of molestation? Get real. This outrage predominantly stems from one thing, and it's not a then Graduate Assistant's stint with the Nittany Lions two and half decades ago. Hell, 90% of the people that sabotaged this deal didn't even know Greg Schiano ever worked at Penn State before yesterday, but they sure as shit knew that his name wasn't Jon Gruden. The uncovering of years and years of disgustingly deep-seated and actively covered up misconduct in which innocent children were the victims is sure to have some collateral damage. That said, it's ridiculously disingenuous for it to come as a result of a fan base having some delusional, glorified view of their football program that's dead last in the worse of two SEC divisions. In a desperate act that was completely counterproductive to EVER getting a more accomplished coach to accept the job opening that's not nearly as enticing as they think, Tennessee fans flat-out abused (no pun intended) the sexual assault of dozens of kids as leverage in thinking they were benefiting their rooting interest going forward. Not wanting Greg Schiano to take the reins at Tennessee because of some unproven event during his early-to-mid 20's is just barely understandable, as is not wanting him to take the reins at Tennessee because his NFL tenure was a disaster. Conjuring up some fictitious sense of disgust regarding the former because the thought of the latter makes you uneasy is simply despicable. Not only did it come at the expense of someone who is a far better recruiter and program builder (See: Rutgers) than anyone who would even think about taking on that career suicide mission now, but - more importantly - it came at the expense of someone who has the support of those far more "in-the-know" than a raucous internet mob of overreactive college football fans below the Mason-Dixon line...
Some Folks On The Internet Mistook LaVar Ball For LeVar Burton, Formerly Of 'Reading Rainbow'11/21/2017
Did you think that the pissing match taking place between the outspoken, self-indulgent father of an NBA rookie whose jump shot undoubtedly made James Naismith's roll out of a peaceful eternal rest and the reality TV star turned President of the United States was the peak of American stupidity? Well, I've got good (...or bad, depending on your view of dark humor) news for you! It appears the streams have crossed and the person absorbing the collateral splash-back is none other than the former host of 'Reading Rainbow'. Yup, the man that abused the helping hand of a catchy theme song in an effort to teach 80's babies that reading is - in fact - fun is getting dragged through these internet streets by some of MAGA's finest due to having a similar first name and the same last initial as another African American male. I'd say those that can't tell the difference between LaVar Ball and LeVar Burton are showing their pasty white hand by not being able to differentiate between two black men with wildly different backgrounds that have happened upon on our television screens at one point or another in polar opposite fashions. Unfortunately, the truth is that they probably hate reading as much as they hate basketball, so - if you really think about it - LeVar Burton brought this backlash upon himself by pushing written words on the children of the illiterate. Always telling them to "take a look" as if what if they trying to find is "in a book"... What type of fascist malarkey is that? I, for one, don't feel bad that LeVar Burton is catching wayward insults from a handful of racist morons. Hopefully they lead to the uncovering of this literary cult he's spent decades forming in the pursuit of what's at the end of that imaginary "rainbow". If that's the case then we will end up glad that he got pulled into a childish 20-minute discussion of what does and doesn't constitute a 'thank you' on a network that should probably stop identifying itself as "news".
Full disclosure? Regardless of the questionable semantics of it, I like the spirit of the quote. As someone that considered Enes Kanter a bit soft due to his inability to play anything that resembles passable defense as a near 7-footer, I probably needed a reminder that he's the same guy that forced his own family to public disown him by speaking out against the tyranny of the leader of his war-torn homeland. He might be a bit of a sieve on the block, but - whether his opposition be a King, Queen, Princess, or Dictator - he's not the type to let himself get pushed around in a power struggle...
Now, just because the use of a Biggie quote is extremely relevant doesn't mean it's not problematic. Usually I could brush off an old white guy's use of the n-word as a sign that he's close to meeting the same demise as his filter. However, when the old white guy in question is "with it" enough to have a twitter account, know his Notorious B.I.G., and censor himself? I expect him to be able to properly count his asterisks. Not to nitpick because we are all capable of typos, but your tweet is probably deserving of a proofread when one extra * takes your unnecessary use of an edited slur from casual to racist while taking the side of the European guy in a interracial scuffle. I hate to do this, but I think we're going to have to make it a rule of thumb that white dudes over 70 years of age shouldn't be using the oft-explicit lyrics of dearly departed hip hop legends for internet approval. I know, I know. It pains me to contribute to the online handcuffing of the marginalized white male, but if Peter Vescey taught us anything it's that even the most well-intentioned attempt at citing the work of proud black men in popular culture is liable to go off the rails at any moment. I'll give him 'One More Chance' because I don't think his cultural crime was maliciously committed, but when it comes to his failure to reconsider his extremely forced and contextually unfortunate rap references? Yo Pete, ya dead wrong... J.R. Smith Was Asked To Explain LeBron James' Meme Usage During His Teammate's "Personal Day"11/7/2017
With the good comes the bad, I suppose. J.R. Smith rode the LeBron James' express train to an NBA Championship that was sandwiched in between two other Finals appearances and now he to pay the remaining balance on his tickets...by answering to a vague, passive aggressive use of a meme that was not only 2000-and-late, but also poorly described to him by a reporter. It's undoubtedly worth it, but this is at least part of the downside that comes with playing alongside the most high maintenance superstar in professional sports. In fact, you can present a pretty strong - if not undeniable - argument that this is exactly the type of online tomfoolery that ultimately has the person that it's potentially aimed at currently mowing down the Eastern Conference while exploring greener pastures. Now, J.R. Smith is no Kyrie Irving so he'll gladly accept the responsibility of talking around the meaning of a vague Instagram post that he hasn't seen as an occupational hazard. Still, it absolutely has to be exhausting coming into "the office" knowing that any given day your "co-worker" can make the more mundane aspects of your job more difficult when he's not even there.
You really have to appreciate that Miko Grimes is such a shit-stirring wild card, but what she is not - apparently - is an expert in the art of the x's and o's. I can't imagine her shameless, pontificating ass would have been in the know if the Raiders offensive line did want to do the completely unthinkable in making their protest slightly less peaceful by sacrificing the health of their starting quarterback to the Derek Wolfe's of the world. However, even if she would have been first on the telephone tree for whatever reason, that is very clearly not at all what happened...
Let's say you really, really wanted to believe that five professional football players came together and all agreed to casually whiff on their blocks in order to send a massage that not-so-loosely translates to "fuck this season" on behalf of social justice. Wouldn't you be hard pressed to substantiate that argument after watching a play-action rollout that was designed to get the ball out of Derek Carr's hand in a hurry? I've admittedly already given the most venomous of verbal vomit too much credit by talking about it as if it were any way rooted in reality. But from a schematic standpoint, that would have been a ridiculously random (mid-3rd quarter?) and awfully stupid circumstance to try to get your quarterback killed on behalf of his beliefs when a 5-step drop on third-and-long was sure to follow. There's no doubt that Derek Carr is a bit of a Jesus freak so it's not remotely out of the question that he was pushing for players to take two knees bedside and pray for equality instead. It is, however, out of the question that an entire position group whose job security is super reliant on his arm would try to subtly put it in danger by secretly switching to their olé "protection". Now, that doesn't mean I don't love that the NFL's wildest WAG implied that was the case, because the uncomfortable lines of questioning that will result from such an inherently preposterous allegation will be nothing short of cringeworthy comedy, but it's still a preposterous allegation nonetheless.
Others may disagree with his command of classic movies, but - as a Saints' fan - I prefer to think that Cam Newton's 'Titanic' analogy was a spot-on description of how the rest of the Carolina Panthers season looks to play out. So you can call it the result of a shocking lack of knowledge regarding history and/or popular culture, but - with the NFC South still up for grabs - I'm going to treat it as a promotion that's clearer than any of the age old pieces published predicting an unforeseen iceberg coming out of nowhere to sink the most extravagant of ship. Now, I certainly don't think that Cam Newton was trying to say that the team he quarterbacks pushed back their meeting with fate at the NFL-equivalent of the bottom of the ocean by shoving the half-dead weight of their heaviest offensive weapon overboard. However, to those that are critical of Cam Newton's counter productive commentary, I ask you this - you guys really never let go, huh? I said it before, and I'll say it again - Cam Newton absolutely sucks at press conferences. He saves every ounce of quick wittedness that he possesses for ridiculous displays outside the pocket, and therefore has none left for in front of the microphone. Yeah, he appears to be a disingenuous prick when he no-shows or responds to simple questions by stomping out of the room like an infant, but if we have learned anything this year it's that apparently the alternative is even more unforgivable. We are halfway through the season and he's already - and completely unnecessarily - turned himself into a misogynist that lives under a rock. Is that not enough evidence that he's worse at navigating an ad-lib than the captain of the first flamboyant cruise ship was at navigating the natural disaster-laden waters of the Atlantic? Jack had more of a way with words when he was freezing to goddamn death, so let's not act like the bloom isn't off the Rose as it pertains to Cam Newton's inability to say what he means with a timely response. Instead let's focus on him dunking on the Falcons, since him dunking his head under cold and unforgiving waters is a virtual certainty when it comes time for a Q&A...
Can you imagine getting rich off the pepperoni on the type of shitty, mass-produced chain pizza that has its costumers spending most of Monday morning casing sausage, and thinking a slight downtick in sales has more to do with NFL players kneeling than the general public realizing your food is fit for a dog bowl? I'm not insulted that Papa John thinks he's at liberty to puff his chest out, because the NFL owners have made it quite clear that money - and to a lesser extent, sponsors - are what has them sitting in an echo chamber casually bouncing institutionally racist ideas off the wall. I am insulted that he thinks his cardboard crusted slop is beyond reproach. Like, before angrily stomping the feet that you will never not use to stand up during the National Anthem, maybe try living up to that "better ingredients" slogan. There has certainly been no shortage of stupid fucking opinions from people who intelligence is laughably disproportional to their willingness to spew them, but this is where I draw the fucking line. If I were a professional athlete whose father died on the front lines as a war hero I might honestly consider taking a nap during the Star Spangled Banner just because some peddler of second rate sauce implied that I shouldn't. If I made a list of things that are anti-American 'chain pizza' would be far closer to the top than 'freedom of expression', so the person whose Napoleon Complex has him speaking up as if he's taller than Colin Kaepernick on bended knee can pipe the fuck on down. He's basically wiped his ass with the American flag by disrespecting the good name of pizza in an effort to pad his pockets, so I'm glad he's eating a 5% quarterly loss. Lord knows it tastes better than his product. Rich Hill Stepped Off The Mound So The Dodgers' Fans Could Really Let Yuil Gurriel Hear It11/1/2017
You see, now that is how you use the time-wasting tactics at your disposal for good. Well, orchestrating a stadium-wide chorus of boos is more accurately a commendation of awful, but if you're going to kill time then you might as while liven up the crowd in the process. I'm not so sure you can call the obvious inciting of thousands upon thousands of jeers a "silent gesture". Not only because the result was pretty damn loud, but because it spoke volumes about the respect that Rich Hill has for Yu Darvish. I can understand the frustration that the casual baseball fan has with the amount of minutes professional baseball player spend standing around with their hand on their junk. However, you really had to relish that down time when those minutes are being used as a proverbial crotch grab to the guy that tried to sabotage the best World Series in recent memory with a racist rendering of the proud Asian pitcher that previous had his number. I still think it's absolutely ridiculous that Yuil Gurriel's suspension got pushed back until next season, but I'm glad that the Dodgers' fans - in conjunction with their starting pitcher - made it impossible for the offender to push the unforgivable incident to the back of his mind in a resounding fashion. Really have to tip your cap to Rich Hill for reading the room and allowing for the writing of the next chapter with an elongated show of support for his teammate. The timeless (literal and figurative) traditions of baseball finally provided us something we could enjoy, the absence of dead air and the public shaming of a culturally insensitive buffoon. Marshawn Lynch Watched 'Red Panda' Live And The Result Is Just As Incredible As You'd Imagine10/30/2017
It seems crazy to say this about a woman that makes a living using one foot to flip an entire kitchen's worth of bowls on top of her head while using her other foot to balance atop a 12- foot unicycle in front of tens of thousands of people, but I have never been more impressed by Red Panda. The fact that she was able to concentrate with Marshawn Lynch providing laugh out loud commentary from just a few feet behind her actually convinced me that she's better at her job than Marshawn Lynch has ever been at his, and the last thing I would want to do is provoke the mode of the beast. Now, obviously there's a lot less competition in the absurdly high stakes game of handlebar-less bike riding with projectile dish-ware, but the point remains. If you can perform to the best of your abilities with the hilarious and often-explicit vocal styles of Marshawn Lynch chirping in your ear then your talent is unmatched. The pure shock and awe from professional sports most lovable malcontent made it nearly impossible for me to focus on the lady that was putting on a one-woman circus, and that - more than anything - speaks to her ability to put on said circus despite the presence of the NFL's most welcomed distraction. Astros' Infielder Yuil Gurriel Followed Up A Home Run With A Racist Mocking Of Yu Darvish10/28/2017
I'm not sure there's any "good" news results from a universally understood racist gesture that takes attention away from a championship series that has served as a defibrillator to the dying popularity of the sport of baseball. That said, if I were Yu Darvish I would take some solace in the fact that looks-based insults mean a whole hell of a lot less coming from someone that appears to have voluntarily swagger-jacked the styles of a multitude of exotic birds. Obviously as a run-of-the-mill white dude, I am neither Yu Darvish or making a big enough deal about the mocked facial feature being one that is inherent to a particular group of nationalities. Still, while the main issue is that we can't have athletes in the most repressed professional sport promoting discrimination on national television, I can't help but feel like the low-blow is ever-so-slightly softened by the victimized party's ability to say "look in the mirror, bro"... Now the bad news, of which there is no shortage, is that we are about 4 hours away from the first pitch of Game 4 and the MLB has yet to hand down a punishment. He probably doesn't deserve the benefit of the doubt with how blatantly offensive that expression seems, but I'm fairly certain that the brightest of lights was shown on the cultural differences that exist in baseball on its biggest stage. Regardless, this isn't about what is or isn't perceived as prejudice by Yuil Gurriel. This is about a league that's viewed as being run just as "white" as your average country club needing to put its foot down and prove they are as progressive as the makeup of their rosters leads you to believe they are. Trust me, I hate when off-the-field antics affect on-the-field performance as well. As the importance of the games increase, more and more I find myself erring on the side of no suspension. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, the only other form of justice that exists in baseball requires the excessive force of an intentionally inaccurate 100MPH fastball. While I think that there is too much on the line for a World Series game to devolve into a plunking contest, I also think that Yuil Gurriel's actions require a lesson that's painfully comparable to taking one on the chin. Watching the biggest game of his life from afar is just that. It might be an odd correlation, but if a celebratory show of enthusiasm is worth a baseball upside the temple then a show of racism (be it a result of ignorance or not) is worth a one game benching. The rules might remain unwritten, but Major League Baseball's questionable history is basically etched in stone. They would be extremely remiss to pass up this opportunity to paint over some of it while eyes of all shapes, sizes, and colors are on them. UPDATE: It sends a message. Sadly, that message is that they prioritize the maintenance of a healthy working environment for all players somewhere in between the outcome of the first week of a one hundred and sixty two game schedule and the outcome of a 'World Series' game, but it does send a message...
The Texans' Owner Had Some (Bad) Choice Words On The Players That Have Protested During The Anthem10/27/2017
First and foremost, it's good to see that Dan Snyder is doing so well. I don't know what his property is valued at these days, but to also be able to afford his own echo chamber on the side? Whew, that's impressive. Think about how good of a job you have to do surrounding yourself with like minded people to calculate a 96% consensus rating on literally anything. I know for a fact that I couldn't get 96 out of 100 people to agree that Colin Kaepernick is an African American, and the Redskins' owner can get 96 out of 100 people to agree that his knee is 'Patient Zero' for the epidemic of anti-Americanism. Don't tell me that he doesn't know exactly what type of values he's looking for in his family, friends, associates, colleagues, and... well...pretty much everyone else that he conducts conversation with other than the actual players that likely make up a vast majority of that 4%. Second on the docket, I'm not sure I can say I'm shocked that Texans' owner Bob McNair moronically botched a euphemism and somehow stuck a discriminatory steroid right in the ass of a racially charged conversation. I mean, I suppose I am surprised in the sense that he makes millions upon millions of dollars off the hard work of predominantly black athletes that he apparently subconsciously views as convicts. However, I'm not surprised in the sense that he's a 79 year old white man that could easily play the understudy of every generic, caucasian grandpa at the Thanksgiving dinner table. Let't not pretend like that's not part of the problem here. We're expecting two sides to meet in the middle when one of those sides is mostly made up of people that have aged themselves into being allowed to unapologetically spew prejudice, antiquated rhetoric. A vast majority of people wouldn't think twice if they saw someone that looked like Bob McNair sitting at a sports bars calling NBA players "coloreds", but we expect him to have a fundamental sound grasp of institutional racism? The whole "it's a workplace and your boss is allowed to tell you what to do" argument is all well and good, but retirement usually intervenes before the average workplace is run by someone whose filter already died of natural causes. This discussion is going nowhere because those that are trying to moderate it have no interest in moderation. At least in part, that's why this issue won't die until some of the half-dead people having it meet the same fate. |
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