​My reaction, in GIF form... He did it. He did the unthinkable. The endless cliche machine that is Chuck Pagano has mastered a new deflection strategy, and this time it is anything but conventionally and conveniently overused. Considering that performance was a successful attempt at skirting slyly around the actual answering of a difficult question about repeatedly finding ways to lose games, the Colts' head coach should have gave a goddamn curtsy after spending a full minute dissecting the plot of 25 year old movie. He almost, almost got sucked into discussing disappointing football, but...wait...is that an organizational hurricane approaching or Chuck Pagano's second wind?!? The media types that spent the time they are afforded to collect quotes and information might not think so, but that surface level description of weather patterns was part of an awe-inspiring (albeit completely conspicuous) display of diversion. I'm half surprised that Chuck Pagano didn't make someone in attendance dial up the local meteorologist for some insight, but I'd imagine that the reason he didn't was so that the Q&A turned aimless monologue could still be considered a one man show. It's theoretically shameless to babble on and on about completely irrelevant topics as if you're not the lamest of duck in a position of power, but in execution it was about as attention grabbing as Al Pacino's speech in 'Any Given Sunday'. Someone should have told the beat reporters there was no need to bring their tweet machines, because they just got a free clinic in how to get people to hang on your every word as you talk for two and a half minutes and actually say absolutely nothing. Chuck Pagano's job security might be headed the wrong way down a one way street, but I can't help but marvel at how he just managed to swerve through the traffic of well deserved criticism. If dropping a bunch of boilerplate adages is the press conference equivalent of small talk then that brain-dump has to be considered an exhilarating conversation. For the man who has become somewhat infamous for the former, delving into the latter was a welcomed change. I don't know how he managed to quickly become an expert in the art of bullshitting, but he could probably make a quick buck charging Ben McAdoo for lessons when they are both looking for work this offseason...
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