Coby Fleener Is Slinging Saints' Staplers For The Holidays. Yes, Really.

I really don't want to do this just days after Coby Fleener had his most important catch as a Saint. Granted, it was only a 4 yard completion in which he was relatively uncovered that sealed a completely meaningless win, but it was one that came on 3rd down in the 4th quarter so by my metrics it was the first one he's actually made when under any pressure whatsoever. That's why it pains me to say that even if I was required to shop for someone I hated enough to buy them a motherfucking stapler for Christmas, I wouldn't buy the stapler endorsed by Coby Fleener. Hypothetically speaking, if I were such a diabolical dickhead that I was going around gift wrapping office supplies, I wouldn't feel comfortable gift wrapping one whose use is to keep things in order   that has an untrustworthy online spokesperson that can't hold it together for the entirety of a football game.

In fact, I would be more willing to buy a Saints' stapler remover from the man with the most non-clasping, unbinding hands in the NFL that don't belong to Ted Ginn Jr. Then I would put a bow on it and ship it the offices of Mickey Loomis leaving strict instructions to detach a certain set of papers that happen to be signed by a particular tight end before launching them from the tallest point of the highest building on the windiest day. If there's something that I need to see lost in the shuffle it's the Saints financial commitment to Coby Fleener. Personally? I think a better gift for Saints fans would be splitting the $7 million dollars he's making per season equally amongst every single member of the Who Dat Nation, but then again - what isn't better than opening up something that dispenses technologically advanced paper clips?