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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

DeAndre Jordan Made Some Free Throws Denying T'Wolves Fans Free Yogurt And Let Them Know About It

11/15/2016

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This is seriously the funniest thing ever. DeAndre Jordan TALKING SHIT TO FANS for not giving them free yogurt. This is my hero. pic.twitter.com/MF9Y4j56IV

— Justin Russo (@FlyByKnite) November 13, 2016

DeAndre Jordan: "No fucking ice cream, god dammit!" pic.twitter.com/5qSApSTta2

— Justin Russo (@FlyByKnite) November 13, 2016

Wait, that's all DeAndre Jordan needed as motivation to make his free throws this entire time? Practice after practice. Offseason after offseason. He's put up hundreds of thousands of shots in hopes of improving at the foul line, but denying strangers free yogurt was the only thing that could get him to bear down and focus on his fundamentals? He's had countless people desperately suggesting that he shoot like a goddamn grandmother, and the primary problem with his stroke was that there wasn't enough pro bono gelato hanging in the balance? The pressure of playoff basketball couldn't make him a respectable shooter, but - ironically - the pressure of awarding an entire arena a complimentary dessert was just enough to get him to start taking advantage of the charity stripe?

Seriously, that's the most emotion I have ever seen from DeAndre Jordan after successfully making an uncontested 15 footer, and it was just because he denied opposing fans the sheer thrill of getting free shit. He reacted like he just dunked all over someone which makes perfect sense since he just posterized every tastebud in the attending audience. Half surprised he didn't go ahead and wag his finger, because that rejection was so sweet it should have been sponsored by 'Pinkberry'. 

​I suppose the main question is how do you recreate those all-too-specific circumstances in other cities that aren't Minnesota, and I'm glad I don't have to answer it. That's for Doc Rivers to figure out...as I feverishly pound my fist against my forehead while an NBA game slows to a screeching halt in hopes that DeAndre Jordan will shoot the losing team back into it from a line where there are no frozen treats at stake.
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