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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

DeMarcus Cousins Says He Will Kidnap Rajon Rondo To Keep Him On The Sacramento Kings

12/3/2015

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PBT- Cousins expects Rondo to be in a Kings uniform with him next season when a new downtown arena opens.“He ain’t going nowhere. I will kidnap him myself,” Cousins told Yahoo Sports.

​Rondo said he’d been wanting to play with the “best big man in the game” for the past three years, so does that mean he’s re-signing with the Kings next offseason?

“In the words of K.G., ‘Anything is possible,’ “ Rondo told Yahoo Sports.

Cousins made it clear that he s developing a camaraderie and chemistry with Rondo, both on and off the court.


“The way we compete and the type of competitors we are, it’s hard for us not to get along,” he said of Rondo. “We damn near think alike all the time. I’m soaking in all I can. He’s a champion. I basically look up to him.



I can't tell if this is a match made in heaven or a match made in hell. For the casual NBA fan I think it's good thing that these two get along, because having that much volatility on one roster is the only thing that makes the Kings even moderately watchable. On the other hand, it's got to be an absolute nightmare for George Karl. It's hard enough trying to juggle the emotions of one talented, misunderstood player without having another talented, misunderstood player that encourages him by agreeing with everything he says and does. The fact that think alike is equal parts predictable, and completely fucking frightening, and that has to keep George Karl up at night. Somehow DeMarcus Cousins and Rajon Rondo found each other, and thank God they did, because they are literally the only people in the world that "get" one another. It's like the NBA's version of the 'Odd Couple', except they are both equally as irritable. They are like Shrek and the donkey, if donkey was a contentious prick.

Obviously, this comment was a joke. Mostly because the idea of Rajon Rondo leaving Sacramento is a joke. The reason he is not leaving Scaramento is pretty much the reason he ended up there in the first place. Unlike DeMarcus, nobody actually wants him. Forget lacking any ability whatsoever to shoot, you become a much less valuable commodity when you quit during the playoffs. That's why he joined the Kings. Can't quit on the postseason if you stand a 0% chance of getting there. Regardless, all jokes are rooted in truth, and if there was going to be someone that followed through on a promise of ill intent then it's DeMarcus Cousins.  Can't you just see him showing up at Rondo's door and flinging him over his shoulder? It would be like when King Kong just scooped up his little love interest and carried her around wherever he went. Let's be honest, much like that situation, Rajon Rondo is the only person that DeMarcus Cousins has, and he'll be probably be shot off the side of skyscraper before he let's himself lose him. 
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