Derrick Rose Is Hoping The Knicks Get To The Playoffs...So He Can START Shooting Threes

FTW-  “I’m trying to put pieces of my game together,” the Knicks point guard said Thursday, via Newsday. “You see I’m not shooting threes yet, but hopefully, [I’ll] start shooting them in the playoffs. It’s going to take a lot of sacrifice and dedication to get there, but I’m just adding pieces of my game throughout the season.”

The Knicks are four-games out of the No. 8 seed in the Eastern Conference — with three teams separating them from the Pistons. But a player is allowed to have confidence in his team, so that’s not the silliest part of this quote by any means.

But Derrick Rose shoots 22.8% on 3-pointers this season. He’s basically avoided the shot because he’s so bad at it. For his career, he’s at 29.9%. He has never in his career made a third of his 3-pointers for a year, the amount that would equate to shooting 50% on 2-pointers.

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That's it. I have figured it out. I have been racking my brain trying to think of what it is that makes me truly appreciate Derrick Rose for the mindless anomaly that he is, and I finally pinpointed it. It's his ability to say absolutely outlandish shit with a completely straight face. If a player from any other team that was 5th in line for the 8th seed started talking about waiting until the playoffs to start  working on a skill as basic as shooting from distance I would assume they were fucking around. If any other 22% 3-point shooter said that all they needed to bump up their average from behind the arc was higher stakes then I would swear they were trolling the media. 

Not Derrick Rose though. Not the guy that called a dysfunctional franchise a "superteam" on multiple occasions. Not the guy that no-showed a professional basketball game without telling anyone like he was hoping that his head coach would just forgot to take attendance. Not the guy that sat in front of a lawyer and honestly said that he didn't know what the word "consent" meant during a deposition for his rape charge. 

He's either an evil genius with the most unflappable poker face of all time, or he has such a lack of self awareness that he makes Swaggy P. seem grounded by comparison. Since no one would every intentionally sound so stupid so often without at least flashing a quick smirk to let their audience in on the joke, I absolutely have to believe it's the latter and the latter is way more hilarious in a "we are laughing at you, not with you" sort of way.