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Two Minutes, Well Worth It

Do We Think The LAPD Really Tested O.J. Simpson's Potential Murder Weapon For DNA?

3/15/2016

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Mirror-  The knife found on OJ Simpson's estate has no DNA on it, according to reports.

The LAPD - who are yet to formally announce the results - are believed to have closed the investigation into the knife, which was found on the former football player's former estate, after testing found no DNA.

TMZ reports: "We're told the microbes in the soil degraded any DNA to the point it was impossible to get a meaningful result."

The knife isn't likely to be linked to the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman, an LAPD spokesperson previously told People magazine.


"We can't say for sure that it is or it isn't; it appears that it isn't," said Officer Ricardo Hernandez of the LAPD Media Relations Office.

Hernandez revealed the knife is still being tested by the LAPD forensics team. "More tests are going to have to be conducted before we can determine if that was the weapon used," he said.


​
Before you ask me to believe that the LAPD tested O.J. Simpson's potential murder weapon and found no DNA, tell me what the LAPD stood to gain from testing the potential murder weapon and finding DNA. They wouldn't want that knife to come back positive. Why would they? The damage has been done. The Juice can't get re-squeezed. As if the LAPD hasn't suffered enough of a black eye by a having a murderer walk free - and basically become a running joke - all these years? You think now they are going to willingly be like "whoopsie, one of our own actually had possession of the murder weapon this whole time, and it would have been the smoking gun be needed to convict. What unfortunate luck? Would you believe it was simply buried in his backyard?!?". Fuck no. That knife is probably resting at the bottom of the Pacific ocean, because it's forensics can do nothing but make the LAPD look even more silly than Cuba Gooding Jr.'s half-retarded representation of O.J.Simpson makes them look.

​Now, obviously I don't know if the knife in question was actually the murder weapon. The story behind it's unveiling is so goddamn ridiculous that I wouldn't rule out some attention starved former traffic cop throwing some dirt on his kitchen knife and making it up completely. We'll likely never know because the extent of that testing was probably as intricate as "hmm, I don't see blood, do you see blood? Good. Now make this fucking thing disappear".
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