Don't Fret UFC Fans, Jon Jones Is So Confident He'll Pass His Drug Test That He's Having It Administered By Lance Armstrong's People
Look, as a casual fan of mixed martial arts, I want to believe Jon Jones. Not only because he's got an unimpeachably awesome nickname like 'Bones' that fits his ability to splint an opponent's shin with the power of his own, but because he's one of the most athletically gifted fighters that combat sports have ever seen. Time and time again he's proven to be an unlawful prick, but the UFC as a product is undeniably more intriguing when it's most talented employee is fighting someone other than his own personal demons. Therefore, I genuinely hope he was being genuine in his response to a line of questioning whose tone was rightfully doubtful.
That being said, if that interview served as the actual drug test then that toxicology report is coming back more tainted than his own resume. To drop one name, and have that name belong to debatably the most longstanding and successful cheater in the history of competitive athletics isn't a red flag for one reason only, and that reason is that you can't inject yourself with a flag...though if Jon Jones were hopped up on enough blow he might be liable to test that theory.
Like, why even keep it at a Lance Armstrong reference? He might as well have covered his tracks by lacing his wrists with all the yellow Livestrong bracelets that got tossed in the trash when their spokesperson got outed for accepting any and all praise, profit. and glory that came as a result of cycling circles around cancer with the blood of a centaur and the moral high ground of Mother Teresa. After all, there's no real difference between that and coming within a half a step of calling Barry Bonds' biceps to the stand as his character witnesses.
Now, I suppose I didn't expect someone whose actively sabotaged his insanely promising career to be the smartest, but - if it's goal was to make people believe that he's changed his ways - an answer that asked us to trust the most disgraced of dope identifiers was undoubtedly the dumbest.