Woman of the world, hear ye hear ye! Albert Haynesworth is officially back on the market and he wants to make sure that not race, color, nor creed can tame his interest in literally any of your genitals. That's right ladies, even the Redskins may re-apply. Come one, come all, and see if your vagina has what it takes to settle the 6'6, 350 pound former professional football player that's days removed from alleging that his white ex-girlfriend beat his ass beyond the brink of legal action.
Note to the entirety of the fairer sex: Let not size, shape, nor nationality deter you from trying to catch that abnormally large squirrel and giving him the nut he so desperately seeks. Considering the amount of baggage he's lugging along with him, it might not be as hard as you think...
TMZ- Ex-NFL superstar Albert Haynesworth claims he's the victim of domestic violence -- alleging his baby mama physically and verbally abused him ... and TMZ Sports has the police report.
The drama between Haynesworth and his ex, Brittany Jackson, went public Wednesday when she accused him of skipping out on child support for their young son. Jackson's a former college basketball star who says she also played in the WNBA.
Haynesworth -- who reportedly made more than $50 MILLION during his NFL career -- fired back with allegations of his own..."Not only has she called me unthinkable names she has been extremely violent," Haynesworth claims.
The 6'6", 350-pound defensive tackle says he called police on the woman more than 10 times during their rocky 2-year relationship.
"I have witnesses and bruises but me for some reason still tried to protect her by not sending her to jail bc I didn't want to ruin her so called career and name."
I guess the defensive tackle that (fairly literally) flopped out of the NFL mere seasons after being gifted a 100 million dollar contract has never had the keenest eye for priorities, but - damn - I thought he would have learned something from becoming the poster child for dead money and wasted talent. Of all the things to publicly address as a grown man that got his dick kicked in for failing to use his 50 million dollar net worth to pay child support, and he felt an aside to diffuse the six year old statement he made dismissing black women that served as his only defense against sexual assault was necessary...
BET- Albert Haynesworth, a nose tackle for the Washington Redskins football team, has a history of bad behavior, which includes everything from stomping on an opponent’s head to punching a man in a traffic altercation. In February, however, the six-foot-six, 300-pound 29-year-old may have made his biggest mistake to date. According to a waitress working at Washington, D.C.’s W Hotel, Haynesworth fondled her breasts while her hands were full of glasses at the time. Haynesworth was slapped with a sexual abuse charge, which he’s been fighting ever since.
Haynesworth spoke up early to say that charges against him were bogus. And not just because he was innocent, but because he “[doesn’t] even like Black girls.”
That’s according to statements allegedly given to a detective who was investigating the case. Besides that, Haynesworth supposedly said, “I know what this is about: [The waitress] is just upset I have a white girlfriend. I couldn’t tell you the last time I dated a Black girl.”
Hey, I guess I can't judge a newly single man for bringing up his past transgressions in hopes of ending ending his sexual segregation and finally opening up his dating pool to all comers in 2017. Not sure this is the right time to discuss his lack of discrimination towards future exploits, but I guess it's nice for female minorities to know that they can catch a pity bone from a disgraced pro athlete. Ya know, if they can deal with the fact that the person potentially giving it to them can't even defend himself against the (allegedly crazy) white baby mama that he refused to reimburse for their child.
Whew, I'm glad he finally cleared everything up for us by giving black women the opportunity to stand on line for an oh-so-bumpy ride on the Albert Hayneworth express....