Dwight Howard Was Mistakenly Ejected For Hanging On The Rim After A Dunk, And Literally No One Feels Bad
I like to think that someone from the league office walked up to Mike Bass - apparent curator of the NBA's non-apologetic apologies - and told him that Dwight Howard's ejection needed to be corrected in writing, and he responded with "uggggh, do I have to?". Obviously transparency is important (to Adam Silver), but I would argue it's less important than not legitimizing Dwight Howard's bitching. After all, we are talking about a guy who followed a botched dunk attempt by pretending that his follow up slam was some superhuman feat for a 7 footer that could touch the glass jumping out of bed. Combined that with the fact Dwight Howard is, without debate, an insufferable human being and you shouldn't even need to apologize on behalf of the officials that that told him to take the slowest of laps. I know it's important to stand by the rule book, but if there's a person that doesn't deserve the benefit of absolute regulations then it's the guy that got tossed for the least intimidating rim hang in NBA history. I can't believe I didn't realize this until now, but - considering he's a shithead that's always smiling for no apparent reason - Dwight Howard is essentially the personification of the poop emoji. Higher ups may not agree, but I think that's reason enough to blindly upgrade all his unsportsmanlikes to technicals.