Gabby Douglas Apologized To Every Idiot That Criticized Her For Not Putting Her Hand Over Her Heart During The Star Spangled Banner

#GoUSA❗️ #TeamUSA❗️ #FinalFive❗️ □□□□□□□□□□ pic.twitter.com/vzhFZxYOWb

— Gabrielle Douglas (@gabrielledoug) August 10, 2016

You know who doesn't need to apologize for what could be perceived as a fairly harmless slight against their country? Someone that just traveled to a 3rd world wasteland to compete, and eventually succeed, on behalf of her country. You know what kind of asshole watches an Olympic Gold Medalist stand on the podium, wearing her nation's colors and acknowledging their anthem, and is so distracted by her failure to put her hand over her heart that they send her a direct tweet that says anything other "congratulations"? The type of asshole that doesn't deserve a "sorry".

Every single person who was offended by Gabby Douglas should be put on a plane to Brazil and forced to compete in mosquito catching contests until they all die from Zika, and I honestly don't think I have meant anything more in my life. Sure, in a perfect world she would have placed her hand on her left tit and we could have all sang along in superiority about broad stripes and bright stars without anything to bitch about, but we should have been able to do that anyway. A vast majority of people don't give a single fuck about gymnastics until we win and then when we win they care about Patriotic etiquette? Get the fuck out of here.

If everyone was being honest with themselves they would admit that putting your hand over heart is awkward, annoying, and completely unnecessary to the act of showing respect to your country. Plus, it's super hard to do when you're holding a beer and a hot dog and what's more American than that. At the very least the absence of doing so is definitely not condemnable. Not when the person being criticized has likely accomplished more for their country with one back handspring than the person criticizing.