Germany's Soccer Coach Can't Stop, Won't Stop Smelling His Own No-No Places

7 times Joachim Low was the most disgusting human being on earth.. □□□https://t.co/szwPVEuYV9

— talkingbaws (@talkingbaws) June 13, 2016

Oh god, the man never stops! pic.twitter.com/teY41U560D

— Brooks Peck (@BrooksDT) June 13, 2016

A lot of people are going to say they are disgusted by Joachim Löw - and while I tend to agree with that sentiment - I must say that I am also rather impressed by him.  He's unquestionably a social pariah that can't be trusted to act appropriately in the most public of places, but somehow that makes what he's been able to accomplish as Germany's soccer coach that much more amazing.

This is a man that won a goddamn World Cup! The guy that can't stop himself from sniffing his own grundle - no matter the situation - isn't supposed to be a success story. The man that picks his ass in front of internationally broadcasted cameras isn't supposed to reach the peak of his profession. It's an absolute wonder that this man is such a good coach that he has been able to overcome a habit that would leave most banished to the farthest reaches of society. I am not saying that all men don't occasionally take a whiff of themselves. Self regulation is a part of life. It's just a wayyyyy bigger part of life for Joachim Löw than it is for literally any other person that works a job in which they have to leave the house. I bet this fucking guy couldn't even get through his coaching interview without resorting to nervous mannerisms that are more characteristic of self grooming dog, and his knowledge of the game was still enough for the Germany futbol's governing body to overlook a brown finger that served as the biggest red flag of all time. Never has a man conquered such an outrageously frowned upon fetish (that appears to border on addiction) to achieve notoriety in a career that requires him to be judged by the masses.