I don't want to make it sound like I'm wishing ill upon someone that's a few months away from taking their first NFL snaps. I don't particularly feel any which way about Josh Allen, but even one more mildly competent quarterback would benefit a league whose current lack of accurate passers is challenged only by their current lack of accurate catch rulings. For that reason, I hope the Cleveland Browns pass on him and he not so coincidentally goes on to have a lengthy, decorated career in the NFL. However, on the even odds that neither of those things happen, I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the hilarity of him using hauntingly familiar tactics to wink-wink, nudge-nudge his way up the draft board. Let's be honest, the only way in which that 50 yard bomb off the crossbar from his knees differs from well-chronicled 60 yard heave that JaMarcus Russell made from his asscheeks is that social media is now around to provide a visual that makes it all the more enticing. Again, I don't want the Wyoming product whose rocket arm is exponentially more impressive than his actual resume to flame out, but if he does then listening to the General Manager who selects him try to explain how he missed so many goddamn warning signs will provide the purest of comic relief. Whoever ends up taking Josh Allen early in the first round isn't just up against the normal potential pitfalls of committing the next 3-4 years of their franchise to a complete unknown based on nothing more than measurables. They are also up against history, which has told us over-and-over again that choosing to market yourself by way of gimmicky displays of strength that are just as impressive as they are completely useless typically leads to a falseness in advertising. If JaMarcus Russell isn't a painful enough reminder then let the curious case of Kyle Boller serve as the twisting of the knife. There is a reason these prospects seem too good to be true, and it's because infomercial quarterbacks often lead to buyer's remorse.
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