I Love Brandin Cooks, But It's Becoming Readily Apparent I Would Want To Murder Him If We Were Teammates

NOLA-  Obviously, when the New Orleans Saints practice, the ball doesn't always go to Cooks, but the team's top receiver still pretends it does. Even when another receiver catches a ball, Cooks might be the most active player on the field after the completion. He acts like he catches an inside pass and an outside one. Then, he mimics the process of securing the ball. Then, he jogs to the goal line while his teammates head back to the huddle or sideline.

"When you visualize something, it comes true," he said. "You speak it into existence."

"Once I got here, I see Drew, he's always going through his progressions," Cooks said. "After he throws a ball, he's checking down to the air and everything. I was like, 'OK, I need to step my game up.' Because if my quarterback is doing it, it means something."

If Cooks excels again in 2016, perhaps some of his teammates will follow his lead with the pretend catches, like he did with Brees' pretend throws. But, Cooks is the only one doing it now.

"They think I'm weird sometimes, but it's all good," he said.



All true sports fans have one thing in common, and that is the ability to be shamelessly hypocritical. You see, as a Saints fan I love the fact that their most prolific weapon has the work ethic to be snagging imaginary footballs and securing the non-existent points as he scampers down to the goal line leaving a host of undoubtedly annoyed teammates in his wake. As a rational person that just wants to get by doing the bare minimum, however, it makes me want to strangle the life out of him.

Don't tell me I lack objectivity, because I readily admit that my subjectivity as a Saints fan is the ONLY reason I endorse Brandin Cooks engaging in a JJ Watt-esque practice. If he weren't lining up wide receiver for my favorite football team I would find him to be an insufferable try-hard whose antics undoubtedly garner resentment from the people that they indirectly make look lackadaisical. It's a good thing he's undergone a steady progression into a top flight wideout or Brandin Cooks holding up practice so he can finish running out plays that he didn't even make wouldn't be so damn commendable. I love what the guy brings between the whistles but I have to call this one like I see it, and it appears to me that he's about as nauseatingly meticulous as it gets.

All is forgiven if he's catching touchdown passes. but let's not pretend he's not getting the side-eye like the kid that interrupts the teacher to ask what the homework is right before the bell rings. His teammates will surely say all the right things about how valuable his effort is on the field, but don't you dare tell me they aren't muttering shit under their breathe like they are walking past the cubicle of a co-worker that decided to work through an early dismissal. The best part about being a sports fan is that I don't have to give a shit whether or not I would want to be friends with Brandin Cooks, but it's looking more and more like I know whether I would be or not.