I'll tell you what. I never thought "See Kanye West design the mascot for a professional sports team" was going to make an appearance on my bucket list, but I'll be damned if it didn't just shoot to the top of it. Unless the unveiling of Chuck The Condor was a precursor to the Los Angeles Clippers changing their name to the Los Angeles Condors then he is a comically bad mascot. There is no doubt about that.
With that said, if there is a person on the planet that can concoct something even more nonsensical then it is without a doubt Kanye West. It's not like the guy that just named his new album 'The Life Of Pablo' is going to create a costume that is a practical manifestation of a professional basketball team. Honestly, there would be no better mascot for a Los Angeles sports team than Kanye West himself. A rich, egomaniacal douche that's only there so he can say he was there, and doesn't care about what's happening on the floor? That's the City of Angels in a nutshell. The mascot should just be a cartoonish sized Kanye West dressed as Jesus Christ. That would be the perfect representation of a city whose fans are too self important to make it to their seats until the end of the first quarter.
Fuck Chuck the Condor, lower Kanye the Cocksucker from the ceiling. Instead of giving away free Chuck Taylor's he can pass out year long subscriptions to Tidal so people can hear his stupid fucking album without downloading enough viruses to to make a hypochondriac blush. If you are going to have a shitty mascot then you might as well go all in on having a shitty mascot, and I can't think of a better person to come up with a head scratching concept than Yeezus. At the very least, he wouldn't hesitate to tell us it was genius so much that we started to believe it. Plus, if there's a reality show we didn't realize we were missing out on it's a weekly meeting of the minds between Kanye West and Steve Ballmer...
Leave a Reply.