If The Purpose Of Cam Newton's Belated Apology Was To Make Me Think He Produced It Himself Then It Was A Success
First and foremost, I don't mean for that headline to read as an indictment of the words spoken by Cam Newton in an apology that might as well have come three weeks after the the fact considering the goddamn express train that is modern day news cycle. Can't take any umbrage with the content on this one. I'd hope it would be after 27+ hours of his nonsensically obnoxious laugh festering throughout the internet like a stale fart, but it was very well said.
Now, I don't know whether he was reading off of a notepad that was put together by a bunch of PR professionals who found the words he was unable to when initially given the chance to apologize by one less than humored woman with an undisputed knowledge of "routes" and a job to do. My inclination is to say that he wasn't, so if the whole point was to get me to believe that Cam Newton handled this atonement on his own then the Carolina Panthers should consider it a success.
Admittedly, my first instinct was to criticize the fact that he was trying to sound sincere while dressed like he stumbled into a halloween store and asked for the biggest and tallest size they had in the purple 'Teletubbies' costume. However, if he had made amends in a timely fashion while wearing a modest-colored button-down would you have really believed that it was done on his own accord? In case you didn't perceive that question as rhetorical, the unspoken answer is "HELL NO!".
Considering the source, there is just enough contextual issues with this video for it to come off as legitimate. In a weird way - that may or may not have been intentional - this feels more genuine than a rushed/forced/scripted mea culpa in which the culprit sounds as though he was shoved onto the sword, as opposed to willingly falling on it.
I guess what I am trying to say is that if we are judging on the scale of insanely belated apologies given by people dressed head-to-toe (presumably) in an eccentric shade of grape, this one could have been far worse.